Shikamaru, much like Shikaku, was freakishly talented at Shogi. Actually, he was freakishly talented with just about every strategy game in general, but Shogi especially.

Which wasn't surprising at all.

I'd never won a game against his dad, I wasn't making any progress on him, either.

"So, how's your sensei?"

He grunted.

I raised an entirely non-existent eyebrow at him.

Shikamaru sighed. "Sarutobi Asuma. He's troublesome."

"Because he won't let you lay down on the grass and watch clouds?"

He grunted, again. And then he moved on of his pieces forwards.

I moved one of my own forwards, setting up an attack that Shikamaru would no-doubt see coming from a mile away, and counter it long before it could really become a threat.

Honestly, it's just gotten to the point that I judge how good I'm doing on how many pieces I can take before he wins, and how long it takes for him to do so.

"There is one thing I don't get, though."

"Oh?"

"Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura."

"What about them?"

"Shouldn't Sasuke and Sakura be on the same team as the dead last?"

Oh ho~ Shikamaru had actually done some research.

"Naruto is dead last."

For a moment, Shikamaru kept looking at the board, his chin resting on his fist. Then he comprehended what I said, and his head snapped up. "Wait, what?!"

Sasuke had been ribbing Naruto so hard about that.

"Yeah. Despite having high marks in basically every other area, he still can't do the basic clone jutsu. Because of that, his grade was brought down enough for every other person in class to surpass him. Barely, anyway. If I interpreted Naruto's ranting correctly, he was a single percentile off not being dead last."

"So despite the fact that he's strong enough to beat up every single person in the class with the sole exception of Sasuke, he's dead last because he can't use a bunshin?" Shikamaru asked, halfway incredulous.

"Yeah."

"Ugh." His head came to rest in his hands. "What a drag."

I nodded.

A pulse. A beat. A Heart in rage.

My head snapped up.

An uneasy feeling ran through me.

Something was very, very wrong.

A pull. Pain tugging on the faintest strings of Darkness. A Heart in suffering.

I leapt to my feet, a Corridor of Darkness already forming in front of me.

I know that feeling. I know that Heart.

A familiar Heart in suffering.

The Corridor of Darkness was closing before Shikamaru even had time to blink.

I came screaming out of the Corridor of Darkness, instantly noting the powerful, menacing, oppressive Chakra of an angry Bijuu.

What kind of fool is messing with the Sanbi?

I caught on to the Sanbi's shell, holding tightly so I didn't fall off.

The Sanbi screamed, as one of his massive tails came down into the lake behind him, sending up a massive tide of water.

The water wall was suddenly blown apart, and I caught sight of a figure wearing a black cloak with red clouds.

Ah. Those kind of fools.

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

The Akatsuki were not opponents I could face and expect to defeat.

But I couldn't exactly leave the Sanbi here, could I?

I slammed my hands down, Darkness racing over the Sanbi's shell before exploding outwards into a massive spike.

The guy was already moving long before my spike even got close, far enough that it wouldn't be worth it even trying to continue following. I let the spike retract, Darkness still spreading out over the Sanbi's shell. I wanted to be able to attack him at any time.

Him.

Only one.

Shit.

Akatsuki work in pairs.

"DIE!" The Sanbi roared, slamming one of its massive legs into the ground. The ground shook as the limb made contact, but that was nothing compared to the shockwave it generated.

The shockwave quickly spread out, cracking the land and tearing trees out of the ground. The nearby lake was quickly reduced to a fine mist, sending a spray in every direction.

The Akatsuki seemed unperturbed, merely leaping to the ground and quickly burrowing underneath it.

"Hiding like a mole isn't going to save you!"

The Sanbi breathed in, before spitting out a massive burst of water. On the already broken ground, the burst carved promptly proceeded to carve a trench, ripping right through the land.

It was apparently not enough, however, to kill the Akatsuki, as he burst out of the ground not even a moment later, though his cloak was a in a significantly more damaged state. Apparently enough that he was discarding.. it...

Kakuzu.

Shit!

Mister 'I-had-to-be-eviscerated-on-a-cellular-level-to-be-killed' himself. Why did it have to be him?

And if it is him, where the fuck is Hidan?

Kakuzu moved backwards, dodging the Sanbi's massive fist as it came down on him. He couldn't, however, dodge the shockwave that accompanied it, the blast immediately throwing him much further back than he intended to go, breaking through some of the few remaining trees in the area.

It would have been enough to kill any normal ninja several dozen times over. It wasn't, to my dismay, enough to kill Kakuzu, his Heart and Soul staying within his own body.

Shit.

Right. Kakuzu was tough, but he wasn't invincible. Really, really tough, but not literally immortal. Theoretically, I could kill him, but to do so, I'd have to destroy all five of his hearts. Which could move independently. And use Jutsu. And were exceedingly agile. And could work together to use ridiculously powerful combination Jutsu.

Kakuzu was an S-Class Ninja for a reason. He wasn't the kind of chump I could expect to kill easily. Most ninja above Chunin were like that. I didn't have the speed necessary to pull that kind of shit off. I didn't really have the strength, either, but I also didn't really need the strength. My blade and claws were sharp enough to cut through seemingly everything, and for all the Ninja Bullshit they could pull off, most of them weren't immune to being stabbed in the brain.

Well, Hidan was, but remove his head from his body and he was as helpless as the rest.

It was the 'removing' part that was difficult.

Possible, but difficult.

Theoretically, I could do it. Realistically, my only real chance for killing Kakuzu would come from abusing my Heartless Bullshit to the fullest.

Mostly in the form of space-time magics.

If I could get close to him, and hit him with Slow, or better yet; Stop, I'd probably be able to kill him. Even if he was Stopped for only a few seconds, those few seconds would still be enough for me to destroy all of his hearts.

IF I could get him before they began to move independently. If even one of those Hearts survived, I'd simply never get close to him, because he simply wouldn't let me. If I touch him, he loses, but he's the super fast, super agile ninja. If he's taking this even remotely seriously, which he should be, since there's a motherfucking Bijuu here, it will be a difficult prospect at best.

Still-

Kakuzu's body started bulging, several large masses of threads bursting out of his back, 4, to be precise, each one with a mask, and each one with a heart.

...

Shit cunt god motherfucker damn-

The fire and wind masks opened, the Chakra within surging as they prepared a combination attack. A simultaneous burst of fire and wind came not even a second later, quickly combining together. The fire fed of the wind, and what was previously just a large, powerful wave of fire instantaneously transformed into a massive firestorm.

...

Fuck.