"How the fuck-" The Kyuubi, the lighter one, began.

"My own particular brands of bullshit at work, that's how." I looked to the Kyuubi. The darker one, that is. "So, how far have you gotten in your explanation?"

"Oh, no you don't, not this time!" The lighter Kyuubi roared. "This needs a fucking explanation! How the fuck did you get in here?! Nobody but us should be able to get in here!"

He wasn't going to let this one go, was he?

"Alright, fine. This little mental space of yours works because all of your souls are connected on a deep, fundamental level." I explained. "This place exists as a united subconscious overlay, where your minds can meet with one-another unopposed and unaltered. I am capable of intruding on mental spaces like this because of my own particular brand of bullshit soul-related abilities. Don't question it, because I'm not going to explain more."

"Hi Drich." Naruto called.

"Hello, Naruto." I greeted him, before turning back to the darker Kyuubi. "Anyway, my question?"

"We haven't even started." Isobu answered for him.

"Really? Hmm. I thought for sure that you would have gotten at least some part of the way in-"

"Who the hell is this guy?" Hmm? That was the Nibi.

I closed my eyes, dipping my head.

"Alright, introduction time!" I spun around, facing the Bijuu and the Jinchuuriki who I hadn't yet met. "My name is Drich. I am the resident friendly neighbourhood eldritch abomination." I clasped my hands together, letting the glow of my eyes intensify. "And I've semi-recently made an enemy in the form of the Akatsuki."

Recognition from all of them. Good, good. I was a bit worried about Fu, but she is evidently informed. "I see that you all know them. Good. Anywho, the Akatsuki are going around capturing Bijuu and Jinchuuriki, killing the latter so they can steal the former and feed them to the Juubi."

Silence.

"The Juubi is dead." The Hachibi spoke.

"As of a few days ago, no. The Juubi is alive, active, and angry."

"Wait, wait, wait, back up." Fu held up her hand. "There's a ten-tailed Bijuu?"

"Yes. If you want an explanation, you can drag it out of your respective Bijuu later, because I don't actually have an infinite amount of time in here." I said. "You see, the Akatsuki is capturing the Jinchuuriki, extracting their Bijuu, and, as I said, feeding them to the Juubi. Due to a set of circumstances that I'm not going to explain, I am currently trapped inside of an alternate dimension with the Juubi. We've been fighting for quite some time, now. I have been able to prevent the Juubi from devouring the Bijuu that have been captured, but I would very much appreciate it if I didn't have to save any more. You get what I'm saying?"

Naruto nodded. "Don't get captured, don't die and have our Bijuu extracted, fuck the Akatsuki."

"Perfect." I nodded. "Anyway, gotta go. Fighting a god-demon and all. Ciao."

"What the fuck."

"Yeah, Drich is like that." Naruto nodded sagely. "Well, you all heard Drich. Don't get captured, don't die and have our Bijuu extracted, fuck the Akatsuki." He turned to the darker Kyuubi. "Why couldn't you have just started with that?"

The darker kyuubi's eyes closed as he breathed in, slowly. His head tilted back, and he looked upwards as exhaled. "You are infuriating."

"I try." Naruto agreed. "It's the best way to see what people are like, really. Make them annoyed, and they just don't hold back. If you're anything like he is, then you're the same." Naruto's head tilted towards the lighter Kyuubi.

The darker Kyuubi's head lowered to stare at him. "'People'. That's a word that isn't used to refer to us very often. Normally it's 'Demon' and 'Monster'."

"Why wouldn't I use it?" Naruto asked. "You are a person, aren't you?" He stretched forwards, stopping as a satisfying crack rang out, before straightening up as he got to his feet. "All of you are. Sure, you're not Human, but that doesn't mean you're not any less alive than the rest of us. You think and you feel. This guy-" He threw a thumb over his shoulder, pointing at the lighter Kyuubi"- is always angry and bitter, sure, but he has a reason for it. You're the same, except you're a little bit more mellow when interacting with me because I haven't been antagonizing you for several years."

Silence, again. Naruto fixed the darker Kyuubi with an intense look. "I know you don't like Humans. Hell, let's not sugarcoat it; I know you hate Humans. After everything you've been through-" He paused, then turned to look at the rest of the Bijuu, raising his voice as he spoke. "- After everything you've all been through-" He turned back, let his voice return to his normal volume. "You have every right to. Hate is a normal thing, an emotion that's perfectly natural. Anger and sadness are both the same."

He slumped, releasing a breath. "But hate, anger, and sadness all have their place. If you don't balance it with happy stuff, then you're just going to turn into a wreck. You'll be nothing but miserable and alone, in the end. Having a friend means having someone who can drag you out of that pit, somebody who can make you smile and feel like it's not just you versus the world. Being alone fucking sucks. Nobody deserves that feeling. Not even you. Especially not you."

The darker Kyuubi stared down at him. Naruto could easily feel the stares of every Bijuu on him, every other Jinchuuriki, too.

He ignored them with all the practiced ease that his sixteen years of life had given him.

He stared straight back at the darker Kyuubi, and smiled. "So, listen up, okay?" He slammed his fist against his chest, grinning. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto! And one day, Kyuubi, you and I are going to be friends."

It was not a statement.

It was a promise.