"Pure. Catharsis." Kurama said, after a moment, laughter in every word. "All this time, I spent so much time thinking about how I would hurt him, how I would destroy him, and I never even considered something like that! Watching that happen was everything I've ever wanted in the past hundred years, delivered to me right on the most perfect platter! His despair, his hate, his emotions, the way he just broke, oh it was beautiful! The perfect culmination! I only regret that I couldn't do it myself!"
"Kurama." Hagoromo admonished, with the voice of an especially exasperated parent.
"I'm not apologizing!" Kurama laughed, darkly gleeful. "Drich, you have my respect!"
I'm not entirely certain I want that under these circumstances, but whatever. "Thank you, Kurama."
"DAAAAAD!"
"Did... Did anybody else hear that?" Sakura asked.
"DAAAAAAD!"
"I'm pretty sure we all heard that." I said. I turned to the source, and...
It was Shukaku.
It was Shukaku, in the air, falling right towards us.
He had an almost manic smile on his face, staring directly at Hagoromo. Or, I assumed, because he was still wearing the blindfold I'd given him.
Hagoromo idly touched his staff to the ground, Chakra surging through it. When Shukaku landed, there was a conspicuous lack of a sudden earthquake that should have accompanied a mountain sized mass of sand colliding with the ground at such a high speed.
Shukaku landed only slightly behind us, immediately turning and righting himself. He was equally quick in thrusting his face uncomfortably close to Hagoromo, who didn't seem bothered by that.
"Good evening, Shukaku."
"DAD!" Shukaku screamed at the top of his lungs, probably causing a sudden onset of early hearing loss among a lot of us. "IT IS YOU"
"Volume, Shukaku." Hagoromo said, completely unmoved.
Shukaku let out a small noise of... embarrassment?
Oh, why not. We've already had the motherfucking Kyuubi himself nuzzling somebody, why not this?
"Sorry." He apologized, ducking his head, which...
Didn't really do much, considering his size.
He held up a hand, finger extending. Hagoromo took it, holding the tip of it in his own hand.
"I met somebody who reminded me of you, Dad." Shukaku said, softly. It was a strange sight, the normally erratic Bijuu so calm and composed.
"Oh?"
"His name was Bunpuku." Shukaku stated, head tipping. "My first host..."
"Truly? That is good, Shukaku."
"I did wrong by another." Shukaku continued. "And I regret it."
"Then you know what you should do, don't you?" Hagoromo asked.
Shukaku nodded.
Hagoromo smiled, letting out another low chuckle.
"Shukaku you idiot! Get back here!"
Hmm. That was Son Gokū's voice.
The Bijuu in question very quickly crested the hill, his massive form growing larger with alarming speed. The dull thumping noise that came with every hurried step was oddly reminiscent of an industrial power hammer.
Isobu followed behind him, being significantly less graceful out of the water. Son Gokū went over the forest, leaving only footprints. Isobu basically went straight through it, his bulk crushing everything in his way.
Son Gokū stopped himself with surprising suddenness, moving his arms forwards to absorb his momentum. Isobu, again, couldn't do so as gracefully, and so ended up rolling forwards a little before his tails flicked backwards to neutralize the inertia.
"Isobu, Son Gokū." Hagoromo greeted. He stared up at them with curiosity.
"Father." Son Gokū bowed his head. "When I sensed... I did not think..."
Hagoromo held up his hand. "Raise your head, Son Gokū. You've done nothing wrong."
"Father..."
Hagoromo smiled, before turning to Isobu. The quietest Bjiuu had yet to say a word. "Have you done well, Isobu?"
Isobu nodded, still silent.
"That's good." Hagoromo said, eyes drifting between them. "A question, if I may?"
"Of course, Father!" Son Gokū immediately responded.
"Why are you three wearing blindfolds?"
There was a pause.
"Oh!" Shukaku shouted, immediately lifting it up out of place. "I completely forgot about that!"
"You forgot you were wearing a blindfold?" Naruto asked, voice flat.
"It's not a normal blindfold." Kurama explained. "It's one of Drich's."
"Oh. Why didn't you just lead with that?" Naruto shook his head.
"I thought this situation had reached peak ridiculousness, but clearly, I was wrong." Onoki muttered to himself.
"Because it should have been obvious!" Kurama argued. "Where do you think three massive, pitch-black blindfolds came from, especially when all three of them are being worn by Bijuu that have literally been off in another dimension this entire time?"
"Well-" Naruto paused, putting a finger on his chin. "You know what? That's a fair point."
"Of course it is. I made it."
"Because everything that comes out of your mouth is such a great idea, huh."
"Obviously-"
Another laugh interrupted their argument.
Both turned to face Hagoromo, who looked back with undisguised amusement.
"You deserve him." Hagoromo smiled.
"I deserve Naruto?" Kurama asked. "Or Naruto deserves me?"
Hagoromo smiled mysteriously. "What do you think, Kurama?"
"Father!" Kurama called, a little bit anxious.
Hagoromo laughed again, loud and deep.
It took him a while for him to stop, the laughter fading slowly. He shook his head, fondness covering every gesture, and then...
A change overtook him. It was sudden, a stark contrast from before and after. Humour became solemnity, amusement replaced by a deep resolve.
It was an almost physical thing, making even the Bijuu flinch away from the suddenness of it.
Slowly, he turned to me, looking me up and down, before nodding.
"I must thank you." He said. He body turned, and he, the Sage of Six Paths, bowed. "For bringing an end to her."
"Please do not thank me for that." I shook my head. "While I do not regret the act itself, what happened to her deserves no praise."
"I disagree." Nevertheless, he raised his head, straightening up again. "At her beginning, she was loving and kind. At her end, she was monstrous and cruel. For too long, she has been a force for evil. To finally end it all... That was the best that could have been hoped for."
"It was a heinous act nevertheless. Gone, forever, and no chance of ever becoming more."
"Sometimes, that is the only choice one has left." Hagoromo said. "She was too stubborn for anything less."
"Perhaps."
"So, is being really mysterious a trait of being really old, or is it just something that happens?" Naruto asked, glancing between us. "'Cause I have no idea what either of you two are on about, and too much of today is like that for me to be comfortable with it."
"There is a certain amusement in playing that game." Hagoromo smiled.
"That wasn't an answer."
"I'll explain some other time, Naruto." I shrugged. "For now, we are still busy."
"Yeah. Not that this hasn't been... interesting, but I'm getting kind of bored over here." Kisame straightened up. "Can we get to the stabbing and violence already?"
"You've been patient enough." I agreed, holding my hand out to the side. The Proof of Courage appeared in a flash.
Hello, fish-person.
Kisame smirked, pulling Samehada from the ground. The weapon shivered, the bandages wrapping around it writhing. More than a few tore and ripped, scales emerging.
"It has been quite some time since I've seen a weapon like that." Hagoromo noted.
Kisame paused. "Mine?"
"Both, really." Hagoromo acknowledged. "That weapon you carry... In my time, there was a symbiotic coral that fused with other creatures. At some point or another, that coral came into contact with a shark that had also acquired Chakra, and fused with it. The result was... quite a troubling thing, to be honest. A slavering beast, ever hungry, but not truly able to feed... I recall that my brother, Hamura, put it down for the good of coastal villages, but from what he told me, it had shed pieces of itself all across the ocean. He brought a few back to me... And you weapon reminds of them. Perhaps that weapon comes from it?" Hagoromo speculated.
"It does." The Shinigami confirmed. "Samehada was the main incisor tooth of the creature who you spoke of. When Hamura put it down, he punched it in the nose, and the force of it broke the tooth off. Most fragments died off alongside the coral, but the fragment that became Samehada was able to take a little bit of Hamura's Chakra, and thus survived long enough to be found a few decades later by a wandering swordsman, who used it as a weapon. Over time, Samehada was passed down or taken by new wielded, reshaping itself until the form it possesses today."
"Really?" Kisame asked. "I always wondered about Samehada's history... Nobody ever knew much more than four wielders ago."
Hagoromo nodded. "History has a way of fading and being distorted." He agreed.
Then his eyes flicked back to the Proof of Courage. "And as for that... I've only seen three of its kind. That one there, and, a thousand years ago, a pair from two beings who fell from the sky."
He looked up, staring at the evening red. "Odd ones, those two were. No signature to them, no Chakra... Not that the second was particularly strange, back then. I had given Chakra to many, but not all. And the number of those who had been born with Chakra was lower still." Hagoromo paused, taking a breath, before turning to the Shinigami. "What were they, Shinigami-sama?"
"Please don't tell them anything useful." I say to the Shinigami, and the Shinigami alone. May not have been necessary, but really...
"Key Bearers." The Shinigami speaks, and the words themselves have a pressing weight. He doesn't say anything more, as if the name itself was a good enough explanation.
And, to be fair, it is. If you already knew what they are.
"Named after their... oddly shaped weapons, I would assume?" Hagoromo asked.
"Keyblades." The Shinigami speaks, again, and, again, doesn't elaborate.
"Thank you."
"You're not going to explain, are you?" Naruto asked.
"The knowledge is dangerous." The Shinigami states. "To pass it freely would be the height of foolishness. The greatest War that has ever been was fought over certain subjects within that knowledge, and all existence nearly ended because of it. Do not pursue it."
"The greatest war that has ever been?" Naruto echoed.
"It was a terrible time, Naruto. Don't ask about it." Because I really, really don't want to start talking about the Keyblade War.
He frowned. "You can't learn from the mistakes of the past if you don't even know what they are."
"In this scenario, events cannot be repeated without intent. The suppression of knowledge is for protection, not for power. Do not seek any more."
"But-"
"Naruto." I interrupted him. He turned to me, still frowning. "Existence as it is now is not existence as it was then. That War... Let's just say that reality was only hanging together by a few threads at the end of it. It should be left to lie."
Naruto frowned even harder, before sighing. "Can I ask you later, Shinigami-sama?" Naruto asked, voice just a bit sarcastic.
"You would be better off asking Drich. I had not yet come into existence during that time." The Shinigami stated.
Naruto froze. "Hold on, what? You didn't exist yet- Wait a second, that implies that Drich is older than- Drich how old are you?!"
Misunderstanding, there, but you know what, I'm not going to correct it. Instead, I just straightened up and got back into the stance I was in before. Kisame followed, seeing my actions. "Anyway, we were in the middle of something, Kisame."
"Oi!"
Kisame grinned, Heart steeled. Samehada, again, shifted, more of the bandages breaking. "Finally. Hurry up, I want to see... what awaits me."
"DRICH!"
"You are truly determined to die." Hagoromo noted.
"Don't ignore me!"
"Yes." Kisame stated, unmoving.
"Ah, shut up brat. You're not going to get any answers any time soon."
"I see." Hagoromo clasped his hands together, eyes closing. "Then I shall pray that you find peace in your next life."
Onoki mouthed the word 'what' to himself.
Kisame bowed his head. "To receive the blessings of the Sage of Six Paths himself... I could not be more honoured."
"YOU SUCK!"
"Whenever you're ready, Kisame."