Hoss's words rang in his head as he ran past Ben and up the stairs. Why couldn't they understand? He had done it because he did love her! They had always been each other's faithful shadow, sharing every emotion they had ever had. But book-learning was not something that particularly interested him. It made him feel small, as if he was somehow stupid. It irritated him that she was more clever than him.
As he whiled away the boring afternoon he felt lonely and depressed. He loathed being confined to the house, and it was even worse when it was just his room. Ben knew he dreaded this punishment more than any other. Even getting his pants warmed was better than this. But that's why Ben had done it.
He longed for his sister and the fact he had hurt her made him feel wretched. As time went by he tried to doze but he had never been able to sleep during the day. He felt he was going to lose his mind through tedium. Scamp's room was full of books, books she had been given or purloined from Ben or Adam's library. It was a running joke that whenever their father or eldest brother could not find a certain volume they would yell her name. She would get a dressing-down for borrowing without asking and she would blithely apologize. Such was her charm they could never be angry with her for long. Both twins looked so young and vulnerable when they were in trouble they could defuse the anger from the hardest heart. But he realized it was not going to work this time.
It was Hoss's words that had hurt the most. Did he doubt he loved her? If so, did the others? Did Scamp? He was wounded because he adored her so much he could die for her. He expected her to come up as she always did when they had quarreled. As the minutes turned to hours he knew she was not going to. He could hardly blame her.
He sighed and turned to his enemy. He had a few books on his shelf but they were mostly schoolbooks. He had to do something or he was going to shrivel up with the boredom. He took one down on American history and tried to read. He could not remember when he had been so bored.
He did manage to nod off in the end. When he came to the light had faded a little and he looked at the clock on the table. His heart lifted. Half past five. Almost time. He had made it.
When Ben came up he looked at his son's miserable face and smiled. "Bad day?"
Joe had to laugh. "Pa, I've been so bored!"
"Well, that was the idea. It gives you time to think about what you've done."
"I've done nothing but that."
"And what conclusions did you come to? Mm? That you've been a selfish little brat who needlessly hurt his sister?"
"Uh-uh," Joe mumbled, reddening and lowering his head. "I guess so."
"Well, don't forget you've got your chores to do and after supper you're going straight to bed."
"I haven't forgotten."
"But first you must talk to Scamp. She's downstairs."
He had never dreaded seeing her before. He lingered on the stairs until Ben jerked his thumb. "Go on."
She looked up as he came toward her. "Go 'way, Little Joe."
"Sis...Scamp...I'm sorry."
Her look of anger rapidly turned to one of pain. "Why did you do it? Do you hate me so much?"
"I don't hate you at all!" he cried, feeling as if she had stabbed him in the heart. "I love you! That's why I did it!"
"Forgive me for being dim-witted but I don't follow that at all."
He sat down and took her hand. She did not pull away. "It's because I love you," he started miserably. "I...I was jealous, alright? I feel like your books take you away from me."
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"
"I know. I know it is. I...just wanted you to know I'm sorry. From now on I'll support you. If you'll let me."
She beamed and stroked his face. "Of course I will. I still don't understand why you did it, though."
"Sometimes...you make me feel dumb."
"But you're not dumb!"
"But I feel that way sometimes." He paused, knowing he had to admit it. The old competitive spirit between them died hard. "Because you're so dang smart."
"Wow, I bet that hurt," she grinned. "Even if I am clever that doesn't mean you're dumb."
Ben was listening and had to smile. He noted how she did not deny it but despite that, she was not arrogant.
"Forgive me."
"It's already forgiven. A storm in a teacup."
"I don't think Hoss or Adam see it that way."
"I'll talk to them."
"I'd rather you didn't."
"I will. I've been so miserable all day. I hate it that we're not all getting along."
Joe tried to make supper last as long as he possibly could. Despite the atmosphere and his brothers' dark looks he could think of nothing worse than returning to his bedroom. Like a seven-year-old, as his father had said. But he had gone on like one.
At barely seven o'clock he dragged himself upstairs. He heard Adam in his room but guessed his oldest brother did not want to see him. So he lay in bed, the boredom returned. There was one main difference, at least he had made up with Scamp.
She grabbed Hoss's hand and pulled him upstairs, bursting into Adam's room.
"Haven't you ever heard of knocking? Knock!"
She went back and knocked.
"Good, maybe next time you can do it before you come in and not after."
"Sorry, Adam. I've brought Hoss up."
"I can see that. What do you want?"
"I want to talk to you. Both of you."
He groaned. "What is it now?"
"Brothers, sit down." She stood in front of them and frowned for a moment. "I want you to forgive Little Joe."
"After what he did?"
"If I can forgive him, Hoss, surely you can."
"It's Pa's fault. He deserved a good hiding for what he did," said Adam. "And he got off scott free."
"He didn't. He spent all day in his room."
"What kind of punishment is that?"
"An awful one! I know, I've been through it myself more than once."
"Not as bad as a spanking, though, is it?"
"It's different. At least a spanking's quick. Being confined to your room lasts hours and hours. It's like you're going out of your mind."
"I can't help it, Scamp," said Adam. "I'm so angry I could throttle him."
"But it's me he did it to."
"It was us."
"Please forgive him."
"We're not all as easy-going as you, Scamp," said Hoss.
"You can talk! You're the most easy-going person I know!"
"Yeah, but there are limits. I don't like people hurting you."
On an impulse she kissed him. "I know. But Joe was jealous. He felt left out."
"So he goes and does a thing like that?" Adam cried. "He ought to act his age."
"It was stupid. But he's sorry. If I can make up with him you should be able to."
"Alright. But tell him to stay clear of me for a day or two. OK?"
"Alright."
She ran to Joe, again without knocking. He immediately sat up. "Little Joe! Adam and Hoss say they'll forgive you!" He hugged her in the half-light of the room. "Only..."
"Only what?"
"Adam said keep clear of him for a couple of days. He wants to throttle you."
"Everyone wants to throttle me," he smiled. "Except you."
"Look, in the end no harm was done. It wasn't as if you'd destroyed them or anything."
"But I caused you a lot of grief, didn't I?"
"Yes," she replied frankly. "But no more than I've caused you sometimes."
"That's not really true. You've never caused me that much grief."
She sat down on the bed and he got back under the covers. "You know, I still don't really understand. Learning is good. Finding out new things. It's interesting."
"You think so."
"Well, surely you do, too. You're not stupid, Little Joe, just idle."
"It feels like most of my childhood has been cooped up in that little schoolroom. The sun is shining, the breeze coming through the trees, and I'm stuck in that place hearing about things I'm not interested in."
"But you could be interested if you tried."
"I don't think so, Scamp. No-one enjoys school. Except you."
"And that bugs you, too, doesn't it?"
"I've always said it, you're so doggone strange. Why can't you be the same as everyone else?"
She shrugged and held her knees to her chest. "I dunno. It's just I've always been different, I guess. I'm not exactly like other girls, am I?"
He laughed. "That's for sure. You've always been weird."
"Would you like me if I was normal?"
"No. Not really. You are you." He paused. "But Pa won't let me leave. I'm a man now. I wanna work on the ranch."
She understood her younger brother better than any person alive. She also saw her father's point of view. She was silent for a while, wondering how to handle it.
"Little Joe," she started, then stopped before trying again. "Joe...Things are hard right now. I know. You know I know. I can be a real pain in the neck myself. You feel like a grown-up but people still treat you like you're a kid. There's nothing so aggravating as that. Pa loves us but he sometimes doesn't understand that, does he?"
"No, he doesn't," he answered grimly.
"But...but...you see how he treats Hoss and Adam. 'Specially Adam. He treats them as adults, as equals. And he will us when our time comes."
"I suppose so."
"But stealing someone's books...well...could you see them doing something like that?"
"Alright, alright!"
"I'm not scolding you, Joe. I'm just trying to understand myself. Don't you think I feel it? We're kids but I'm a girl on top of that. I get babied and patronised far more than you. Not by any of you lot – I'd punch you if you tried – and not by Pa – but by everyone else...What I'm trying to say is that Pa's a pretty wise old bird. He does things I don't understand or agree with but in the end I trust him. Don't you trust him?"
"Of course I do."
"If he doesn't want you to leave school yet there'll be a good reason for it. Give it another year. Speak to him about it again. Like Hoss did. He'll listen."
The door opened and the light from the landing fell in a slant across the dark room.
"Marie, come out now," said Ben.
Joe saw his sister's good-natured face hover over him as she wrinkled her nose at him, a smile hovering on her lips, and resisted the urge to kiss her again and again. Ben slipped his arm around her slim shoulders and gently put his lips on her forehead as they closed the door.