Hey worldwide web,

Thanks so much to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter! I got some really helpful feedback on formatting that I'm hoping I implemented well this chapter. This one was a beast to write, but I'm glad to get it out there.

Let's get to it!

"Last time on Total Drama Revenge of the Action…" Footage of the previous episode began to play as Chris did the recap. "All our contestants from the previous season, as well as a handful of nobodies from seasons past, arrived at the film lot for another action-themed season. We started things off by going through various rejected pilot episodes from Chef's nightside table. In the end, Lightning and Jo tied, but none of it mattered because Dakotazoid destroyed the trailers and as a result was sent packing in the Lame-o-sine. With the trailers rebuilt, we've got another action-filled episode and another dramatic elimination ceremony. You're watching Total…Drama…Revenge of the Action!"

*theme song*

Noah groaned as the sun shined on his face, forcing him to open his eyes. He rolled over, remembering that he had slept on the ground the night before due to the trailers being destroyed. "Remind me again why I keep coming back," he said to the camera, which then panned over to Cody. "Uh, no."

Confessional

Noah: Look, I go on the internet. I know that I became sort of an audience fan favorite, especially after World Tour. But I also know that you all ship me with everyone under the sun. Well, the truth is, I can't stand most of these people. So, don't get any ideas, okay?

The loudspeakers on the film lot screeched, followed by Chris' morning announcement. "Alright contestants, this is your 6 AM wakeup call! It's time to get this show rolling!" Everyone else slowly started to wake up.

"Ow my back," Mike groaned, rubbing a sore spot. After a few seconds, he noticed Cameron staring at him. "What?"

"You didn't change into Chester," Cameron said in amazement. "That's remarkable! Your therapy must really be making some great breakthroughs."

"Oh, yeah," Mike replied sheepishly. "Turns out Chester manifests mostly to deal with pain, so I've learned to manage that."

"Good," Anne Maria interjected, "because Chester was a major mood killer. Vito on the other hand…" She reached out to touch Mike's arm, but Zoey quickly tugged him away from her.

Chris arrived on the scene shortly after everyone got up. "We've got quite a bit to take care of today," he explained. "First, look behind you!" Everyone turned to see two trailers where the old, destroyed ones had been. "We only had crappy trailers left, but at least they're both crappy! Boys get the left. Girls get the right. Your bags are inside, but before we unpack, we have to discuss the matter of teams."

"Ooh, ooh, can Lightning be a team of one?" Lightning asked.

"Actually Lightning, you don't want to be a team of one. Especially because you are one of this season's team captains!"

"Wait, what?" Scott said. "No fair, how come he gets to be a captain?"

"Is it because he was a finalist?" Cameron asked excitedly. "Am I the other captain?"

"No," Chris said. "The other captain is Jo! She and Lightning tied in yesterday's challenge."

Confessional

Jo: Go figure I'm team captain. I did the same thing last season and look at how many challenges we won. Lightning's head is so far up his own ass I doubt he'll even try to make his team nearly as good as mine.

"Just like in Total Drama Action, we'll decide teams by a good old-fashioned schoolyard pick. However, everyone needs to get settled first before we do that. Gives everyone more time to get to know one another, and for Lightning and Jo to think about who they want on their teams."

"Try not to hurt yourself thinking too hard," Jo taunted as she went toward the trailers.

"Don't worry, Lightning won't be thinking at all," Lightning replied, not aware of how that sounded. "Chris, are you sure Lightning can't just go solo? Lightning doesn't want to pick a team!"

"Sorry, but you're a team captain, that's the rules." Lightning started to whine again, but Chris stopped him. "Look you don't have to think too hard about it if you don't want to, but you do need to pick people. Just pretend it's like you're picking fantasy football teams or something, I don't care."

Lightning blinked, thinking.

Confessional

Lightning: It was then that Lightning realized Chris was right. It's just like a draft! So now Lightning's got to think about who he wants on his team and everybody's stats. Jo's not gonna know what hit her!

In the girls' trailer, they discovered that there were five bunks, and fortunately there were exactly ten of them.

"Oooooh, Sadie do you want to bunk together?" Katie asked.

"Eeeeee, you know I do!" Sadie replied. The girls quickly threw their identical bags onto the nearest bunk, Katie claiming the top and Sadie claiming the bottom.

"Easy peasy," Anne Maria said, throwing her own bag on a top bunk. "Red, you're under me."

Zoey gripped her bag tightly. "Really?" she said. "Wow, Anne Maria, I thought you hated me."

"Eh, that was in the past. You're with Mike now and that's just the way it is."

"That's actually really mature of you, I appreciate-"

"Plus, you're one of the only girls I trust not to steal my stuff, ya know? You couldn't even come close to pulling off anything I got, so I know you won't even bother."

Zoey's hopeful smile quickly fell flat as she tossed her bag onto the bunk.

Jo watched as Eva threw her bags onto the top bunk above Staci. "Careful," she warned, "that one likes to talk way too much."

As if on cue, Staci said, "Ya, my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather invented bunk beds. Before then, beds were sooooooooo boring."

Eva just looked at Staci, and then at Jo, before putting her earbuds in and turning up her music.

"You know, in the original Total Drama Action," Sierra said, "the girls had to draw straws to decide who got the different bunks. Looks like we're getting along much better than they were, hehe." She looked up at Dawn, who was already perched on the bunk above her.

"Hey, wait a minute," Jo said as she looked around at all the pairs that had formed. "Does that mean I'm stuck with Blaineley?!"

"Most probably see it as I'm stuck with you," was Blaineley's retort. "Let's cut the chit-chat about the beds and get to the real story. Jo, who are you going to pick for your team?"

"Like I'm just going to tell you, Plaineley." You know Jo was patting herself on the back for that one. She turned to face the room. "But go ahead, make me your best offers for why any of you should be on my team." The air was immediately filled with dead silence. Jo frowned. "Well? Go ahead!" The other girls looked at one another while Blaineley smirked from her bunk. "Come on! Don't tell me you'd all rather be on a team run by Lightning."

Zoey was the first to speak up. "Uh, I just figured there was no way he'd pick me," she admitted, "so I'll probably end up on your team by default. Which is fine! Um, but if you can I'd like you to try and get Mike and Cameron on the team. It can be like a Mutant Maggot reunion!"

"Ew, pass," Anne Maria said, scrunching up her face.

"Ooh, ooh!" Sadie said, bouncing up and down on her bed. "If you pick me, can you also pick Katie?"

"Yeah," Katie added, nodding, "pick either both of us or neither of us."

Confessional

Jo: Ugh, the worst part about being on a season with people who have competed before is everyone has all these…friendships. And everyone knows that friendship is just a nicey-nice word for alliance. And don't even get me started on the people who are actually dating. My first goal is to break up as many of those alliances as possible.

Ultimately, none of the girls felt super strongly about being on Jo's team, which didn't inspire much confidence for the jockette. Still, she wasn't going to let throw her off. This was Lightning she was going up against after all. There was no way he was going to make a better team than her.

"I wonder how the boys are getting along," Sierra wondered aloud. "I hope they're being nice to my Cody-Wody…"

Her Cody-Wody happened to be shoved aside as the boys quickly discovered there were eleven of them, but only ten bunks. None of them wanting to sleep on the floor, it quickly became a pushing and shouting match (well, for most of them, since B didn't speak). Bags were thrown and heated words were exchanged.

"Lightning's a Team Captain, ain't no way he's sleeping on the floor!" Lightning protested, taking Sam's bag off the bunk in front of him and tossing it across the room.

"Not cool, dude!" Sam said, running to retrieve his stuff.

Cameron sat perched on one of the bunks, Mike sitting on the one underneath him. The two were content to bunk together and had snagged a bed early before too much chaos had started.

"Do you think the girls are having this much trouble?" Cameron asked nervously.

"Probably," Mike said with a chuckle, "in fact, whatever's happening over there is probably way worse."

"Oh no, my nail polish spilled," Zoey said, looking at the red puddle forming on the vanity. She quickly grabbed a washcloth and began blotting up on the mess. "Does anyone have any I could borrow?" She was immediately met with several bottles of similarly colored nail polish from Katie and Sadie. "Wow, thanks!"

The shouting in the boys' trailer began to build in volume, until it was cut off by a loud shout of "TEN…HUT!" Everyone froze and looked in the direction of the shout, where Brick was standing at the entrance. "Now this is the most disgraceful display I have ever seen in my time on Total Drama," he said, marching across the floor. "You are almost out of high school, and this is how you act when having to pick a bed? You should all be ashamed of yourselves!"

Several eyes went down to look at the floor, embarrassed. Brick walked over to the bags on the floor. "Since most of you aren't able to decide, I'll decide for you!" He threw each bag at random onto a bunk. "There, those are your assigned beds. Is that clear?" Most of the guys nodded as Brick let out a long exhale. "Phew, sorry about that, guys. Ever since fashion school I've been missing out on the structure of boot camp." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as the guys went to their assigned bunks.

Confessional

Scott: Okay…not that I'm impressed…but that was pretty impressive.

Confessional

Brick: Heh, I hope I didn't overdo it. Don't get me wrong, fashion school is great, but old habits die hard…

B sat on the edge of one of the bottom bunks as he watched Ezekiel leap onto the bunk above him, climb down the ladder, and then climb back up. He raised an eyebrow at the prairie boy.

"Doc says I need to start doing things like I would before I went feral," Ezekiel explained. "Gotta kick some bad habits and stuff, eh." B nodded in understanding.

At the next bunk over, Lightning sat on the bottom bunk and observed the room, trying to size up the other guys for the team picking. Tyler had the bunk above him and was unpacking his things.

"Woah!" the clumsy athlete cried as he dropped something on the ground. "Mind handing me that?"

Lightning looked down and picked up a pink plastic scoop. He gasped. "No way!" he said. "You've got a Scoopy too!"

Tyler hopped down from his bunk excitedly. "Yeah! Wait, you name your powder scoop too?"

Lightning mimed hitting the side of his head. "Duh! Otherwise-"

"-it won't feel the bond it needs in order to give you the maximum amount of powdery goodness!" they both said in unison. Each stared into the others' eyes with newfound camaraderie.

Confessional

Lightning: So Lightning's been making a little draft to decide who he wants on his team. Strong guys like that Tyler are way up at the top. And tiny little girlie girls like Cameron are way at the bottom. Lightning's gonna have the strongest team ever! But don't get the wrong idea, Lightning's still gonna be the strongest…

Still sad from Dakota's departure, Sam pulled out one of his consoles and started to play on it. At least the video game music could cheer him up.

"Dude, is that Eternal Paradox 8?" Cody asked, peeking down from the bunk above him. "I thought they never released it in Canada?!"

Sam looked up, grinning. "Yeah, I got it across the border," he said. "Wasn't cheap, but so worth it."

"If you get done with it, could I borrow it?" Cody asked.

Sam thought for a moment. "Well, I don't normally give my games out, but maybe!"

Confessional

Sam: Aw man, last season I was the only gamer around. But now that there's new people, maybe I'll find some like-minded friends. *sigh* Still wish Dakota was here though…

"Wait a minute," Scott said as he noticed his bag was still on the floor, "you mean I have to sleep on the floor?! Just what kind of game are you playing, Brick?"

Brick looked over at Scott from his own bunk. Noah had the bed above him. "Oh, sorry about that," he said. "I didn't mean to leave yours on the floor." Scott gave him a skeptical look. "Honest! We can switch if you want."

"Pass," Scott said, unpacking his stuff. "I'm sure a bed will be opening up real soon…"

After everyone was settled, Chris called them back outside the trailers to start the team picking. "Before we get started," he said, "there's one more thing we have to discuss. These!" He held up two small statues of his face. "Last season's competitors will recognize these as Chris Mclean Invincibility Statues! Since we have almost double the cast we had last time, we decided to double the number of statues. Like last time, these grant automatic immunity when used and can be used on whoever you want."

"Why would anyone want to use it on someone other than themselves?" Jo asked, confused.

"That's not for me to figure out, Jo. Starting today, two of these will be hidden around the film lot. You're free to look for them any time you're not participating in a challenge. Stealing is allowed and encouraged. However, in order to maintain some sort of fairness, you are never allowed to be in possession of more than one statue at a time. Any questions?" A couple hands were raised. "Cool, no questions. Moving on!"

Confessional

Scott: Okay, I know I said I needed to learn some new tricks, but finding that idol last season totally saved me. Which means I'm going to find it again. And I know the new rule says I can't have more than one, but it doesn't say I can't still look for the second one so I can pick it up after I use the first one…

Lightning and Jo were brought in front of the others as Chris held up a coin. "We'll start with a coin toss," he said. "Jo, call it in the air." He tossed it into the air.

"Heads," Jo said. The coin landed in Chris' palm. He flipped it over onto the back of his wrist and checked the result.

"Heads! Jo, you get first pick, but since you won the coin toss, I'm giving you the chance to defer first pick to Lightning if you'd like."

"Why would I want to do that?" Jo asked. "I'm taking first pick."

Confessional

Jo: What is it with all the nicey-nice rules this season? Working together in an individual challenge? Using an invincibility statue on someone else? Giving up first pick? Come on, Mclean, don't tell me you're getting soft.

"You heard it folks. First pick goes to Jo. Since there's so many of you, no rules in terms of boy/girl order or anything like that. Take your pick."

Jo looked at everyone. She had a good idea who she wanted on her team, and she had a feeling she knew who Lightning didn't want. "I'll take…Brick." Brick was stronger than most of the other contestants, and Jo knew he was easy to control.

"Brick, you're on Jo's team," Chris said. The cadet gave a salute and stood next to Jo. "Lightning, you're next."

Confessional

Lightning: Brick was Lightning's #2 pick, so that kinda hurt, but there's no way Jo's gonna end up snagging anyone else that Lightning wants.

"Lightning picks Tyler!" Lightning said. Tyler pumped his fist as he took his spot beside Lightning.

"Oh sure, pick all the athletic people," Noah said, rolling his eyes. "No surprise there."

"Oh yeah?" Jo taunted. "Well, I pick Cameron."

"Really?" Cameron asked. Jo nodded. "Wow, thanks Jo!"

"Don't mention it, Toothpick. Literally. Don't."

Confessional

Jo: So Lightning's obviously going to pick all the athletes he can, but I learned last season that having one or two expendable dorks can be pretty useful. So yeah, Cameron was an easy second pick. Now I just have to make sure I don't pick Mike because I know I'm going to get stuck with Zoey.

"Lightning chooses…Eva!"

"Whatever," Eva growled as she stood next to him.

Jo frowned. Three players in and Lightning's team was looking physically stacked. She considered her options. Zoey was a safe pick, but she was going to get her regardless, so she could wait. She needed to grab someone that Lightning would probably want.

"I'll take…Scott," she announced.

"Your funeral," Scott said with a shrug, standing next to Cameron.

"Jo, maybe get Mike or Zoey next time," Cameron suggested, glaring at Scott.

"Who's the captain here?" Jo asked. "Don't worry about your little pals, I'll get them next time. No way Lightning's going to take Zoey-"

"Lightning takes Zoey!"

Zoey hesitated for a second but reached out to squeeze Mike's hand before joining Lightning's team. Jo looked at Cameron, who gave her an unimpressed look. "Not a word, Pipsqueak."

Confessional

Lightning: Lightning may not like Zoey, but the girl was strong enough to make the final three last season. She was an easy fourth draft pick. And I know Jo's not going to snag number five from me…

Jo sighed. She hated having her hand forced, but she needed to keep Cameron loyal. "Mike, get over here," she said. At least she'd have the power couple broken up right away, even if she would have preferred Zoey by a mile.

Mike walked over to Cameron. "Hey buddy," he said, "sucks Zoey couldn't be on our team."

"Yeah," Cameron agreed, "but don't worry. She's strong, and maybe there will be a team swap."

Lightning seemed pretty pleased to have thrown Jo off-guard. "B is Lightning's next choice. Brothers gotta stick together." He gave B a fist-bump as the tech genius joined his team.

Confessional

Jo: These are not the choices I was expecting Lightning to make, but I have to break up as many of the alliances as possible. Ugh, I hate following someone else's lead.

"Dawn!" Jo barked, knowing she was probably the only friend B had. Plus, if Jo remembered correctly, she wasn't totally useless to the Toxic Rats last season. Dawn gave B a sad wave and took a spot next to Mike.

Lightning looked at the people left. B had been his fifth pick, followed by Scott and Mike respectively, but both of them were taken. That left draft pick number eight. "Purple girl!" he said. The others looked at him. "Oh, uh, Sierra?" He pointed at Sierra, who nodded. "Yeah, Lightning chooses you!" Sierra had almost made the finale in her only season, and she had done that all while carrying Cody's scrawny weight too.

That made Jo's next choice easy. "Cody," she said. Cody sighed with relief, making Jo smirk. She broke up an alliance and probably got herself a grateful underling to boot. She didn't notice Sierra's glare from across the teams.

"Eight people left," Chris interrupted. "Remember, these will be the people you have to work with in challenges and vote off if you lose. So, choose wisely."

Sierra had been Lightning's eighth choice, and his ninth choice was also still available. "Anne Maria, get over here!" he said. Anne Maria cheered, eager to not be stuck on a team with Jo.

Confessional

Jo: Finally, he picks someone with no friends! Sucks that my choices are an old lady, some nerds, and a couple of totally unfit girls. But there is one person left who I know has some athletic talent.

"Katie…no Sadie…uh…" Jo struggled to remember which one she was trying to refer to. The girls in question looked at each other. "Oh whatever, the skinny one!" Katie gave Sadie a hug and walked over to Jo's team as the others stared at the team captain. "What?"

"That wasn't very nice," Mike said.

"I'm not very nice," Jo challenged. "Get over it!"

Confessional

Scott: And people thought I came in too hot last time? Pffft, they're not aboard the Jo Express, soon to be Total Drama's biggest trainwreck.

"Lightning picks…Blaineley!" Lightning decided. She was his twelfth pick, since Dawn and Katie were already taken.

"Really?" Jo said, unimpressed.

"Hey, she can move for someone who's fifty!"

"Fifty?!" Blaineley gasped. "Is that really how old people think I am?"

Jo tuned out the rest of Blaineley's freakout and looked at the rest of her options, not that they had changed much since she last checked. Sadie was a for sure no, as were Staci and Sam. Noah wasn't the worst choice, but she had already grabbed two geeks and didn't really want a third. That left…

"Ugh, Ezekiel." The former feral boy perked up at not being chosen last. At least Jo was confident he didn't have any friends, which meant he'd be easy elimination fodder if necessary.

"Lightning," Chris said, "you've got two more picks left. Use them-"

"Sam!"

"-wisely," Chris finished.

Lightning shrugged. The rest of his options weren't great, but Sam was a former teammate. He and Lightning didn't really get along, but Lightning felt more confident about him than he did about his other former teammate.

"Jo, this is your last pick," Chris explained.

Jo raised an eyebrow. "What?" she said. "But there's three people left." Staci and Sadie looked at her nervously, while Noah had pulled out a book.

"Yeah, I know," Chris replied, "but the teams have to be even. So, this is your last pick, then Lightning will take his last pick, and then I've got a special role for the person who isn't chosen."

Jo didn't have time to consider what this meant for the game. She looked at the three people left. She could hear Katie begging her to pick Sadie, which just solidified the choice not to pick her. Staci and Noah were both unathletic and incredibly annoying, but for different reasons. Still…

"Fine," Jo grumbled, "I pick Staci." Katie and Sadie both began to cry as they realized that they would be on different teams this season.

Confessional

Jo: Look, I was scraping from the bottom of the barrel. Staci and Noah both suck, but I already have Scott and Cameron on my team. Those two schemers are enough. Besides, Staci's probably desperate enough to do whatever I say.

Lightning shrugged as he looked at Sadie and Noah. Both were near the bottom of his draft, but one was slightly higher than the other.

"Sadie, Lightning picks you!"

"Nooooo!" Sadie wailed. "I want to be with Katie."

"Sorry Sadie," Chris cut in, "but Lightning's captain so he gets to pick. That means the only person not on the team is…Noah!"

"Great," Noah droned. "So does that just mean I get to go home?"

"Not quite," Chris said. "Since we have an odd number, I didn't want to give a team an extra number. So instead, the team that loses this challenge will gain Noah after they vote someone out. Think of this is either a penalty or a reward, your choice."

"Definitely a penalty," Jo said flatly.

Noah rolled his eyes. "Great, so what am I gonna do this episode then?"

"Actually, you don't have to do the challenge, which means you can just…I don't know, hang out in the trailers and read or whatever?" Chris shrugged. "I don't really care."

Confessional

Noah: Okay, is it kind of lame that I wasn't even picked for the teams? Sure. But getting free immunity for an episode and not having to be in some lame challenge. That's the furthest thing from lame.

"Okay now that we've gotten teams settled," Chris said, "it's time to give them names." Lightning raised his hand. "No Lightning, you don't get to name them." He tossed a red flag to Lightning, which had an image of a pulley on it.

"What's this supposed to be?" Lightning asked.

Chris ignored him. "Lightning, Tyler, Eva, Zoey, B, Sierra, Anne Maria, Blaineley, Sam, and Sadie. You are now the Killer Riggers!"

"Um, question?" Sadie said, sniffling. "What's a rigger?"

"They manage the rope system used to lift set pieces and curtains and stuff," Blaineley said, rolling her eyes. "Anything that involves a wire is the rigger's job."

Chris tossed Jo a similar flag, only this one was green and had a speaker symbol on it. "Jo, Brick, Cameron, Scott, Mike, Dawn, Cody, Katie, Ezekiel, and Staci. You are the Screaming Foleys!"

Nobody said anything and just sort of looked around confused, unsure what a 'foley' was. Chris sighed. "It's someone who makes sound effects. Named after Jack Foley? Ugh, I can't believe I'm actually wishing Harold was here… Anyways, those are the two teams. Now let's get on to the challenge."

"Aw man," Lightning whined, "picking teams wasn't the challenge? Lightning already used up all his brain for the day!"

"Fortunately for you, today's genre isn't about brains at all," Chris said. "Today's challenges take inspiration from the reality TV genre! No, not like this reality TV, the kind where people have cameras follow them around as they live in a big house and yell at each other."

"Aw yeah," Anne Maria said, "that's my kinda TV!"

Chris led them to the set for today's challenge, a large house set that had a fancy kitchen, living room, and bedroom. There was also a patio that had a large table on it. "We have two parts of the challenge," he explained, "and a tiebreaker challenge if necessary. But first, you need to decide some roles in your teams. Five of you will be cast members in this challenge, you'll be the ones on the screen doing the job of causing drama. The other five will be crew, operating the sound, light, and camera equipment. The nature of your show is up to you, but I'd advise you go for maximum drama."

"Do we have to be playing ourselves or are we characters?" Cameron asked.

"That's up to you," Chris replied. "But no matter what, any trashy reality show needs an intro reel where each person says a snappy one-liner that sums up their personality. Your first challenge is to film those. They'll then be judged by Chef. You have access to cameras, microphones, and all sorts of editing equipment so go wild, but you also only have an hour." He signaled for the challenge to start, and the teams split up to strategize.

"Alright," Jo said, "so who has some ideas for what our show is about?"

"Ooh, ooh!" Katie said, raising her hand. "Me and Saide love those shows about the rich families who always fight. Five of us could pretend to be related. Ooh, can I be the pretty sister?"

"Mike, you're the brother," Jo decided.

"What, why me?" Mike asked.

"Because you can do that thing where you turn into that Vito guy, right? He'll be perfect for this sort of thing."

"Um, I don't really-"

"Great," Jo interrupted. "Let's see…" She looked over at the equipment the Screaming Foleys had been given. "Who knows how to use any of that stuff?"

Cody walked over to the pile. "I can probably figure it out," he said. "I have some sound equipment at home, and I've used editing software before."

"I'll help too," Cameron volunteered. "I'm not a very good actor anyway." He grunted as he tried to lift some of the equipment. "It's…very heavy…"

Brick helped him lift it. "I can be on the crew too," he said. "Ooh, I can figure out all the outfits!" He excitedly began to look around for costumes.

"If this is a show about a family, I should be in it!" Staci said. "I have a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great family!"

"You can be the weird cousin," Scott snickered. "I don't really know much about the fancy equipment, so I'll be the dad. The leader of the family, if you will."

"Um, no, if anyone's being the leader, it's me," Jo said, pushing Scott aside.

"You're going to be an actor?" Scott said skeptically.

"If it means winning the challenge for us, then yes," Jo replied. "So that makes five actors, the rest of you are crew." Dawn and Ezekiel shrugged as they went to join the other crew members. Brick helped Cameron and Ezekiel set up cameras while Dawn assisted Cody with the editing equipment. The plan was to use the house set as part of their intro, with each actor being filmed in a different section.

As the crew got to work setting up, the actors brainstormed what they were going to say. "So, everyone usually says something funny," Katie explained. "Like Scott, since you're the dad, you'll say something about how hard it is being married to Jo." Jo glared at her. "Um, and Jo, you'll say something about how crazy your kids are, but that doesn't keep you from having fun."

"That sounds stupid," Jo said flatly. "But on brand with this kind of show."

"It's also important to do some really cool poses," Katie continued. "But it has to make sense. So like, Scott, you'll want to flex or rub your back or do something to show you're an old man."

"I'm old now?!" Scott said in confusion. "Actually, old I can do. Just like Pappy."

Confessional

Scott: Heh, no offense Pappy, if you're watching this…

On the Killer Riggers, Anne Maria was walking her team through the basics of the show. "So, I think we should put together one of those shows where the wives are always yelling at each other," she said. "You know, the ones who are so rich they don't have jobs so to keep themselves busy they just get recorded fighting all the time?"

"Ooh, Katie and I love those shows," Sadie said excitedly.

"So, the girls need to be the actors," Anne Maria explained. "That means me, obviously, and Red, Sadie, Sierra, and…Eva."

"What about me?" Blaineley asked, folding her arms over her chest.

The girls exchanged glances. "You're kinda…" Sadie started, her voice trailing off. "…old."

Blaineley gasped. "Old?! I'm not even- I've been on TV before! I'm a seasoned TV host, I've literally hosted shows like the one we're trying to film!"

"And how many of those shows would cast washed-up middle-aged women over young hot girls?" Anne Maria asked dryly.

Confessional

Blaineley: Okay fine, maybe she has a point. Maybe!

Blaineley knew she wasn't going to get anything accomplished by arguing, so she looked at the rest of her team. Lightning, Tyler, and Sam stood around awkwardly while B fiddled with some of the equipment. "Fine," Blaineley said, "but on one condition. I'm production manager. That means the crew does exactly as I say. In addition to hosting, I have extensive production experience. You'll be lost without me."

"Whatever," Anne Maria said, rolling her eyes. "Just make sure there's some cool background while we say our lines."

"We could film in front of a green screen," Sam suggested, rolling out the large green sheet they had been given.

"That'd be a lot easier to set up than trying to do it in the house," Blaineley agreed. "Alright! Someone get that screen set up, get a camera rolling, and get me a latte!" When nobody moved to do any of those, she sighed. "Fine, I'll get the camera, but the rest of you at least set up the screen."

As the crew got to work, the cast began brainstorming ideas.

"So, are we just going to be ourselves?" Zoey asked. "That seems easier than making up brand new characters."

"Good point," Sadie said, "besides, everyone already watches us for the drama anyway."

"This is gonna be a little different though," Anne Maria pointed out. "We want to make these intros a little…sexy, you know? Flaunt what we got."

Zoey cringed a little. "That seems…inappropriate," she said. "Besides, my parents watch this show."

"I guarantee anything we come up with will not be nearly as bad as what fans put on the Internet about us."

Confessional

Anne Maria: I'm tellin' ya, seeing yourself as a Ball OC really puts things into perspective.

The other girls still seemed hesitant about Anne Maria's approach, making the Jersey Shore Reject roll her eyes. "Look, there's a million bucks on the line. If you're not willing to do things a little dirty, then you can just hand the other team the win right now. Or, we can start coming up with sexy poses and lines."

Eva was the first one to speak up. "I don't like it," she said, "but I also wouldn't like anything else we do. So, we might as well go with the dumb plan that will probably let us win. But if we lose it's gonna be all your fault, got it?!"

"Got it, got it," Anne Maria said. The other girls started to agree as well, and they soon got to work.

Back at the Screaming Foleys, the crew was setting up in the house set while the cast went over their lines. Katie had taken the initiative of writing them, since she had the most experience watching the shows. Brick also fluttered around the group, handing them various costume pieces.

"Wait a second," Scott said as Brick handed him a fake white beard. "Am I supposed to be the dad or the grandpa? My line says, 'I may not be employee of the month, but I'm always father of the year!' That doesn't even make sense."

"Well, if you don't like your line, come up with a new one," Katie said, folding her arms over her chest. "But like, my lines are great and totally make sense if you say them one after another."

"No, my line sucks too," Jo complained. Beside her, Brick held up a red and white polka-dot dress, akin to I Love Lucy. "I am not wearing that."

"But these are the costumes that best fit the characters," Brick argued. Jo's eyes narrowed. Brick sighed. "Okay, fine, I'll go pick out something else…" His shoulders slumped, he walked back to the costume pile.

Jo turned her attention back to Katie. "Anyways," she said, "these lines are garbage. Come up with new ones!"

Confessional

Katie: Okay, Jo is so bossy. And I thought being on a team with Courtney was bad. Like, I'm starting to think she only chose me because I'm good at dodgeball. Oh my gosh, I am soooo good at dodgeball, can that be the next challenge?

Mike frowned as he read over the line Katie had written for him. "Hey, I don't know if this is a line I can make work," he admitted. He showed her the paper.

"Oh, that's because it's not for you," Katie explained. "It's for that Vito guy in your head. I just figured you could turn him on when it's time for us to record."

"That's…not really how it works," Mike said. "Besides, I'm trying not to let my personalities out unless it's an emergency. My therapist said it could be harder to maintain control during everyday stress." Katie tilted her head to the side in confusion. "The doctor doesn't want me to do it," Mike said finally.

"Ohhhh. I'm sorry, I can write you a new line then." Katie quickly grabbed the paper and started making an adjustment. She handed the paper back to him. "Better?" Mike read it over and nodded at her with a smile.

Confessional

Mike: Okay, so it was still a pretty bad line, but it was one I could read as myself, you know? I appreciate her changing it for me without asking too many questions.

"Hey Mike," Cameron said, walking over to the group. "We're having trouble putting a camera up on one of the high corners of the room. I was thinking maybe Svetlana could jump up and reach it."

Mike sighed and started to get up, but Katie cut in. "I can do it," she offered. "I'm so tall!" She wasn't super tall, but she was taller than Cameron. She smiled at Mike and started to walk with Cameron.

"Hey, wait," Jo called out. "You're supposed to be rewriting our lines!"

"Um, like, write them yourself."

Jo crumpled up the paper with her line in her hand as she walked Katie walk away. "Skinny little, short-short wearing…" She growled as she grabbed a pen and started writing her own line.

Soon enough, everyone was gathered back in front of the house set, where Chris had put up a giant monitor so everyone could watch the opening reels. "I've received the intros from both teams," Chris announced. "Time to see what you came up with. Remember, Chef will be the final judge." He gestured to Chef, who was wearing a black dress and full makeup, Kardashian style. "Screaming Foleys, you'll be up first." The teams took their seats and watched the screen.

The clip began with an establishing shot of the house set. Pop music began to play as big green letters appeared: "Drama Family Life."

"That was the best title you dorks could come up?!" Jo hissed in Cody and Cameron's ears. They shrugged at her.

The camera zoomed into the door of the house, where Jo stood wearing jeans and a pink cardigan. "Welcome to our home," she said. "As a mom…I get all the drama!" She seemed to be in physical pain as she forced the line out.

Confessional

Katie: Oh, and that was somehow better than the line I came up with? Hmph.

The camera panned to a bedroom, where Mike was chilling on the bed, pretending to play a video game. "As if the voices in my head weren't enough," he said, "try sharing a wall with my sister!" He awkwardly reached out and tapped his knuckles against the wall behind him.

There was a blackout transition, and the next shot was in another bedroom, with Katie dancing around to some music. "Hehe, my family is craaaaaaaaazy…." The camera lingered on her for a few more seconds. "Okay, that's the line," she whispered.

"Oh, sorry," Cameron said from behind the camera, and quickly rushed off to the kitchen.

Staci was seated on a barstool, drumming her fingers on the countertop. She waved at the camera as Cameron entered the room. "Ya, my great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather said I'd be on TV one day." She finished with an attempt at finger-guns.

The camera moved to leave the kitchen and down the massive flight of stairs. Cameron's panting could be heard from behind it. "Woah!" came the bubble boy's off-screen cry as the camera (and presumably Cameron) tumbled down the stairs, landing at Scott's feet.

"Back in my day," Scott began, in a hoarse old man voice. Then the camera moved to actually look up at him. "Oh- ahem. Back in my day, we used to eat dirt on Christmas!" There was a pause and Scott switched back to his normal voice. "What?! Yeah, that's what I came up with! Come on can we just-" The camera then cut out.

Chris looked from the screen to the Screaming Foleys.

"Heh, that red light must have been the low battery indicator," Cameron said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"I didn't think it was that bad," Scott offered. The other members of his team glared at him.

Chris shook his head and swapped to the next set of intros. "Not a very high bar set by the Screaming Foleys," he said. "Can the Killer Riggers do worse? Hopefully not, because that was painful to watch."

The intro began with a reddish orange background, set to jazzy instrumental music. Then, in a cursive font, "Real Girls of Total Drama." Afte the letters disappeared, Zoey came up on the screen, doing a shy pose where she clutched her arm with another to shield herself.

"Uh, do you like me?" she asked nervously before her face turned into a smirk and she struck a more confident pose. "Oh, who am I kidding? Of course you do!"

"Woo!" Anne Maria cheered, slapping Zoey on the back. "You ate that up!"

"Heh, really?" Zoey asked, blushing. "It felt so embarrassing in the moment."

The clip continued as it transitioned to Anne Maria, who had her back to the camera but was looking over her shoulder. She sprayed her hair a couple of times before speaking. "You like the can?" She waved the hairspray can in the air as she pivoted to face the camera completely. "Oh, you ain't talking about the hairspray, are ya?" She winked as the camera transitioned to the next person.

"Uh, Chris?" Chef whispered to the host. "As a feminist, I don't think I'm supposed to award points for this sort of thing."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Chris replied. "This is the most feminist thing I've ever seen."

Sierra was up next. She held a phone up to her ear and jumped a little, as if the person holding the camera had just walked up to her. "Sorry, I'm already spoken for," she said, putting the phone in her pocket. "I know, he's a lucky guy…"

Cody shuddered a little as Sierra leered at him from across the stands.

Sadie walked into the frame next, blowing a kiss at the camera. "If you think I'm too much, just wait until you meet my friend…" She gave a little wave to finish her intro.

"Omg Sadie are you talking about me?" Katie asked excitedly from across the stands.

"Oh my gosh you know I am!" Sadie replied.

"EEEEE!" squealed both of the girls. Chris shushed them as the intro kept going.

The last person to appear in the intro reel was Eva. Like Jo, she looked incredibly uncomfortable as she delivered her line. "I…uh…I could crush your skull with my thighs…" There was an awkward pause. "What?! That's it!" she snarled, and the intro reel faded to black.

Confessional

Eva: I swear if any of you watching this send me weird fan mail, I'll…I'll do it! And despite what you might think, you won't enjoy it! GOT IT?!

Chris turned off the projector as Chef wrote down some notes. "Well, that was certainly better than the Screaming Foley's performance," he remarked. "But let's see if our judge, Chef Hatchet, agrees. Chef, who won?"

Chef looked down at his notes and then up at the two teams. "While it may have been kind of inappropriate, I have to say that overall, the Killer Riggers are the winners. You guys win."

The Killer Riggers erupted into cheers, Anne Maria pulling Zoey and Sadie into a hug while Lightning and B bumped fists. Even Blaineley seemed pretty pleased to have won the challenge.

"So that means we get Noah, right?" Scott asked.

"Yeah, where is that scrawny bookworm?" Jo added, looking around. Noah hadn't been present for the viewing party, and nobody had seen him since the teams were picked.

"Last I checked on the cameras, he was reading a book," Chris explained. "Nerd. Anyways, no, you don't get Noah just yet. Remember, this challenge has another part to it. Now that you've introduced yourselves, it's time to partake in another staple of reality show dramas. Secrets!"

He led the teams to the entrance of the house set. "Any good reality show must have good recording equipment to pick up on all the juicy gossip that gets whispered between cast members," he said. "Your challenge will be to relay a secret between all five of your cast members without the opposing team's crew picking up on it. Think of it like a super serious game of telephone."

"Ya, my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather invented telephones," Staci said excitedly. "He was really upset when people named the game after them and didn't give him credit…"

"Nobody cares, Staci," Chris continued. "Now, there are five rooms in the house: the entrance, the kitchen, the first bedroom, the second bedroom, and the balcony. The secret must be passed from cast member to cast member in a separate room. So once the secret gets told in the kitchen, it can't be told there again."

"Why don't we just all huddle together and whisper it to each other in each room?" Jo asked. "This seems easy."

"That's where the fun part is," Chris said with a smirk. "Each cast member will be fitted with a microphone controlled by the opposing team. The more microphones in a room, the more likely it is that your secret gets told. Also, once you tell the secret, you can't tell it again. So in order to complete the challenge correctly, everyone has to tell someone. The final person will have to go to the balcony and tell Chef."

The camera cut to Chef, who was drinking a glass of wine on the balcony and scrolling on his phone, still in his Kardashian getup.

"The first team to pass a secret all the way to Chef will win the challenge. Killer Riggers, since you won the first challenge, you get to go first. Set yourselves up in whatever rooms you want, and we'll start in five minutes. Crew, be ready with the equipment."

Confessional

Blaineley: I'm not too worried about this part of the challenge. My whole job is to pick up on all the juicy drama.

Five minutes later, the five cast members of the Killer Riggers and the five crew members of the Screaming Foleys were set up and ready to go. Those not currently participating were sitting in the stands, watching.

Chris was waiting in the entrance with a slip of paper. "Alright, the first member of the Killer Riggers needs to come and get the secret from me. To be fair, if any sound equipment picks up on me saying it, it won't count."

Sadie entered the room excitedly. "I'm ready Chris," she said confidently. "Katie and I loooove to gossip. We always tell each other the secrets we find."

Chris looked down at the paper and leaned forward to whisper the secret in Sadie's ear. The girl's eyes widened, and she gasped. "Oh my gosh, no way!" she cried.

"Oh my gosh Sadie, what is it?!" Katie asked from the stands, genuinely curious.

"Eva's the spokesperson for a brand of trendy exercise clothes!" Sadie called out to her BFFFL. In the next room, Eva gasped.

"Omg congrats Eva!" Katie called out.

Eva's face showed a look of both anger and embarrassment. "Wait, these secrets are about us?!" she said in disbelief.

"Uh, Chris?" Cody said from the tech booth. "We got a recording of her saying that…does that count?"

"Play it back for me," Chris said. Cody pressed the play button and Sadie's voice could be heard repeating the secret. "Yup, that counts for me! Point to the Screaming Foleys! Well, not a point, but that means they get to take their turn!"

The Screaming Foleys quickly began getting into place, while the Killer Riggers glared at Sadie. "Whoops," the girl said, "sorry guys, I just got so excited."

"You could have just blown the entire challenge for us!" Lightning snapped.

"Yeah, you're dead!" Eva growled.

Sadie's lip trembled as the rest of her team gave her various looks of disappointment. "It won't happen again I promise," she said desperately.

Chris waited in the entryway again for a member of the Screaming Foleys to receive the secret. The crew of the Killer Riggers was now in the booth, ready to try and pick up the secret on their equipment. Blaineley was taking the lead on that front.

Scott entered the entryway, still forced to wear his old man getup. Chris leaned in and whispered the secret.

"Seriously?" Scott said with a snicker. "Aw man. That's too good." He left the entryway and entered the kitchen, where Staci was waiting. He walked up to her and whispered the secret in her ear.

In the booth, Blaineley frowned as the microphones failed to pick anything up. "Hmmm, let's see if we can try to filter out any of the background noise," she said, messing with some switches on the board.

Staci left the kitchen and found Jo in one of the bedrooms. "Ya," she whispered, "so apparently things aren't going well with Lindsay and Tyler."

Jo gave her a look of confusion. "Who?"

"Lindsay and Tyler," Staci repeated, louder this time. "Things aren't going well between them."

"No-" Jo began but was cut off by an announcement from Blaineley.

"We got it!" the blonde woman said, playing back the voice clip of Staci talking. "Ooh, that is juicy."

"Hey," Tyler said, standing next to Blaineley. "I'm not even on that team. Why is it my secret?"

Confessional

Tyler: Okay, so maybe things aren't going great with me and Linds. She got my name wrong in front of my parents! Lindsay, if you're watching this, I'm sorry…

"And the Screaming Foleys also lose," Chris announced. "Which means the Killer Riggers get another shot."

Jo bumped Staci with her shoulder as they exited the set. "Learn to whisper better," she said.

"Sorry, I just come from a long line of shouters," Staci replied apologetically. "Shouting was invented by my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother."

The Killer Riggers got themselves situated again, with Anne Maria giving Sadie a talk before they began. "This time, wait to tell Katie the secret after we win the challenge," she told the girl. "Otherwise, we're all probably gonna vote you off. Got it?"

"Got it," Sadie said nervously. "Don't tell Katie until after. After. After." She repeated the word 'after' to herself a couple of times as she went to receive the new secret from Chris. She gasped upon hearing it, and looked over at Katie, who shook her head.

Confessional

Katie: Yeah, I know we're on different teams, but I don't want Sadie to be the reason her team loses!

Sadie left the entrance and went to the kitchen, where Eva was waiting. She leaned forward and whispered the secret to Eva, who rolled her eyes upon hearing it. After Eva left the room, Sadie sighed with relief and took a seat at the bar.

"Did you get any of that?" Cameron asked Cody in the booth.

Cody shook his head. "Nope, but we'll keep trying," he said.

Eva left the kitchen and went to one of the bedrooms, where Sierra was waiting. She leaned forward and whispered the secret to the fangirl.

Sierra frowned. "Wait, I couldn't hear all of that," she said. "Tell me again." Eva rolled her eyes and whispered again. "Eva, you're not even saying words, you're just making little noises that sound like you're talking-"

"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WHISPER, OKAY?!" Eva roared. "THE SECRET IS ZOEY'S FAMILY TOLD HER TO BREAK UP WITH MIKE WHEN SHE GOT HOME FROM THE SHOW! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!"

"...loud and clear," Sierra whispered.

"We heard it too," Cody added with a grin.

Chris didn't bother hearing the recording, since Eva had literally screamed the secret out. "You guys are worse at this than I thought," he remarked. "Screaming Foleys, you have another chance."

"W-wait a second," Mike said, "are we not going to unpack that at all?!"

"No time, we're already behind schedule."

The cast members of the Screaming Foleys once again took their place in the house set, but this time they were changing things up. "You," Scott said, pointing at Staci, "are going to be on the balcony. That way we can get the secret through the rest of us and all you have to do is tell Chef. Got it?"

"Got it," Staci said, nodding.

"Yeah, let's not forget though, I'm in charge," Jo added. Scott just rolled his eyes and went to the entryway to get the secret from Chris.

Chris told Scott the secret, making his eyes widen. "Are you serious?" he asked. Chris nodded. "Yikes." He exited the entryway and found Katie in the kitchen. He leaned in and whispered it to her.

Katie gasped, looking over at Sadie, but Scott glared at her. She nodded, and silently exited the kitchen, going up the stairs to the first bedroom where Mike was waiting.

"Still nothing," Blaineley said in the booth as she watched Katie whisper the secret to Mike. "Come on! Speak up!" She slammed her fist down on the board in annoyance.

Mike, looking very disturbed by the information he had heard, left the bedroom, and entered the next one, whispering the secret to Jo.

"Pffft, figures," Jo said upon hearing the secret. She left the bedroom and walked to the balcony, where Staci and Chef were waiting. "What's his problem?" She pointed to Chef, who was swirling around his glass of wine and looking around, kind of dazed.

"I don't know," Staci said, "but he's drinking that weird grape juice and wouldn't let me have some." Jo shrugged and whispered the secret to Staci.

In the booth, Blaineley leaned forward. This was it. As Staci walked up to Chef, everyone in the tech booth was dead silent. Staci leaned in and started whispering. Blaineley and the others listened through the microphone…

…and heard nothing.

But Chef heard something. He gasped, choking slightly on his wine and he stood up. "Chris, are you for real?!" He said in disbelief. The host shrugged. "That is messed up. How did you even find that out?!"

"I have my sources," Chris said proudly. "I take it that means the Screaming Foleys win!" Now it was the Screaming Foleys' turn to cheer, and the Killer Riggers' turn to complain. "Of course, that means we have a tie between the two teams, so we'll be moving into our third round."

"Aw man," Lightning complained, "old lady, you were supposed to win this part!"

"I did everything I could," Blaineley said defensively. "Ugh, I really thought that fat girl was going to blow it for them."

On the Killer Riggers, Katie had gone up to Staci to congratulate her. "You really brought it back for us," she said happily, giving Staci a hug.

"Yeah, whatever," Jo said, walking by. "Just means she's back at zero for the day."

After things had settled down, the teams were gathered in the kitchen of the house set. In the kitchen were two identical dining room tables, each with five seats. "This tiebreaker is all on the cast," Chris explained. "Simultaneously, they must stage a fight with each other that throws Chef off his game. Just like the first round, he will be declaring the winner in the end. Anything goes this round, but cursing will be censored. Also, you're only fighting with each other, not the other team, got it?"

"So, the crew can't do anything?" Cameron asked.

"You can't be in the kitchen," Chris said, "but you're allowed to observe and stuff. Alright, places everyone." The cast members from each team took their seats at their respective tables. "And…begin!"

The two teams sat the tables, unsure how exactly they were supposed to start the challenge. Anne Maria leaned to the side and nudged Zoey with her elbow.

"Hit me with your best shot, Red," she said.

Zoey looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Say something about me! Come on, I know you didn't like me last season, let it out!"

Zoey frowned but thought about what she could say. "Okay…um…I'm sorry in advance," she said.

"That's kind of ruining the point, but whatever. Say something!"

"Okay," Zoey said, taking a deep breath, "Anne Maria. I…

…

…

…"

Everyone leaned forward.

"…really did not care for you." Zoey looked to her teammates for approval, but they all groaned at her lame attempt.

"Well, ya tried," Anne Maria said with a shrug, "my turn!" She leveled a glare at Sierra. "Girl I think you need to get yourself a new man, because I heard that beavers are becoming an endangered species."

"Hey!" Cody said from the sidelines, reaching up to touch his teeth. Sierra's eyes narrowed.

"That's more like it," Chris said. "Still pretty tame, but it's a start. Screaming Foleys, anything to add?"

"Don't worry guys," Katie told her team, smirking. "I've got this. Try not to take it too personally though." She cleared her throat. "You guys…are poop from a butt that smells like…bitch. Which is what you are, as well, so frick... in your butts... all the poop that bitches are."

Jo and Scott exchanged glances. "What is happening?" Jo asked.

Scott shrugged. "Beats me."

As Katie continued to stammer through her mess of a monologue, Cameron looked at Mike from the sidelines. "I bet if we could get Vito or Chester to come out, they'd start some drama," he told the other crew members.

"I'm not so sure if that's a good idea," Dawn remarked. They all looked over at Katie, who was still going.

"And—and—you frick that poop that's all in your butt, and you put it in the f—the bitch that is your face, cause you're a f—"

They all turned to look back at Cameron, now on board with his plan. "Chris said we aren't allowed in the kitchen," he said, "but…" He reached out and grabbed a boom mic. "We should just have to gently bump Mike's head with this, and Chester will come out." They all grabbed on and maneuvered the microphone above Mike, who was trying not to cringe from Katie talking.

"Gently…" Cameron said. The microphone swung down, hitting Mike hard in the hard. "I said gently!"

"Ow!" Mike said, looking up at the boom mic. "What the-" He looked over at his teammates off to the side. "What are you guys doing- Ow!" The microphone hit him again.

"Sorry Mike," Cameron said, "we just need Chester for a bit."

Mike ducked to avoid the microphone again. "Dude, not cool! I don't want to- Ow!" He gasped, inhaling deeply. "Gosh darn it, you rotten kids! Why can't ya just let old Mikey take a break!" He shook his fist in their direction, before turning to Katie. "And you! Put a sock in it! If my hearing aids weren't imaginary, I'd have taken the batteries out by now."

Katie folded her arms over her chest. "Um, rude!"

Chester!Mike took in a deep breath, returning to regular Mike. "No!" he cried, standing up. He turned to glare at Cameron. "What the heck?! I've been trying to keep them under control, you know that!"

"I'm sorry-" Cameron began but was cut off by Chris stepping onto the set.

"I feel like we're getting sidetracked," he said. "Katie, that was…interesting. Not good, but interesting. Mike gets some points for the old man freakout, but I also have to deduct some points for interference." He looked pointedly at Cameron. "Crew members, take a seat and don't do anything else, or it's an automatic disqualification."

Defeated, Cameron and the other crew members took their seats.

Confessional

Cameron: Maybe I should have checked with Mike first before doing that. You don't think he's mad at me, do you?

"Are you gonna be okay?" Katie asked Mike as he returned to his seat beside her.

"I think so," Mike said with a shaky breath. "Thanks. Sorry about what Chester said. I appreciate you trying." He gave her a smile, which Katie returned.

Focusing back on the Killer Riggers, after overcoming the initial awkwardness, the girls had gotten right down to fighting with each other. Zoey was still having a tough time not taking things personally, and her ability to craft insults was horrible, so Anne Maria and Sadie took the brunt of the work.

"Maybe I'm not skinny," Sadie remarked, "but at least I'm not mostly made up of recycled plastic."

"Hey, everything here is real," Anne Maria shot back. "But funny you bring that up, because I'd rather choke on a plastic straw than smell your stank breath."

"Skank!"

"Bitch!"

Chris clapped and looked over at Chef, who just kind of shrugged. It seemed like it would take a lot more to impress him.

At the Screaming Foleys table, things were still super awkward after Mike's outburst. Jo and Scott weren't saying much, Mike was too distracted, and Katie…

"The 1950s called, they want your sense of style back," Katie told Scott, who rolled his eyes. On the sidelines, Brick sniffled.

Confessional

Brick: I really liked that costume…

Things were not going well for them, at least in Staci's opinion. So, she did the only reasonable thing she could think of. She picked up her glass and splashed its contents right in Katie's face.

"Wha?!" Katie sputtered, spitting out water on the table. "What was that for?!"

"Sorry," Staci said, "your personality is so dry I figured you needed some water." She ducked as Katie sent a plate full of food flying towards her.

"Now this is drama I can get behind," Scott said with a smirk. "It's a food fi-" He was cut off by Jo slamming his face down into his plate.

"Now this awesome," Chris said as food went flying all over the set. Chef nodded in agreement.

The Killer Riggers just watched from the table next to them, dumbfounded at the mess the other team was making. Soon enough, there was no food on the Screaming Foleys' table to throw and the fight subsided. Katie was soaked and had noodles in her hair. Staci had pasta sauce all over her sweater. Scott was covered practically head to toe in food. Jo and Mike had managed to avoid most of the mess but weren't completely clean either.

"I think we have our winner," Chris said, moving toward the Screaming Foleys. "Can't really see how the Killer Riggers can top a food fight." The Killer Riggers groaned in defeat. Anne Maria seemed especially upset. Eva had said earlier if they lost, it would be all on her…

"Wait!" Anne Maria said. "Let me try! I've still got some material left. L-like how Sierra's stalking a beaver-"

"You already used that one," Chris said flatly. "Like I said, the Screaming Foleys-"

"Or how the only clothing Eva should be a spokesperson for are those jacket thingies that crazy people wear!"

"Straightjackets?" Zoey guessed.

"Yeah, those!"

Chris shook his head. "At least try and lose with some dignity," he told Anne Maria. "Now, if there are no more interruptions-"

"One more!" Anne Maria cried. She turned to Zoey. "You!"

"Me?" Zoey repeated.

"Yes, you! Don't think any of us are fooled by that little showmance you had last season. I know you aren't into Mike because you think he's a good guy. You just like how good it makes you look when you're with him. Like a sweet girl who can see past his multiple personalities and love him for him. But you know what I think? I think that you think you can fix him! And that's the only reason you two are even together."

Zoey gasped, tears starting to form in her eyes. Everyone else stared at Anne Maria, eyes wide. Chris looked at the team, and then over at Chef, who's jaw had dropped.

"I- I can't-" Zoey began, before bursting into tears. She quickly ran off the set.

"Zoey!" Mike cried, getting out of his chair. "Wait for me!" He took off after her, leaving everyone else sitting in stunned silence. Finally, Chris spoke up.

"As I was saying… the Killer Riggers win!" Chris announced. It took a couple of seconds before the Killer Riggers began to cheer. "Screaming Foleys, I'll see you at the Gilded Chris Ceremony. One of you will be voted out, and Noah will take your place."

Speaking of Noah, the veteran contestant strolled into the house set after having been absent for most of the episode. "What'd I miss?" he asked, not really sounding all too interested.

Cameron was waiting awkwardly outside the trailers when he saw Mike approach, Zoey walking with him. Cameron waved at both of them but got nothing from either of them. Mike gave Zoey a kiss on the cheek and watched her walk into the girls' cabin before looking over at Cameron, looking very unimpressed with him.

"How's Zoey doing?" Cameron asked nervously.

Mike sighed. "She's upset," he said, "but I know Anne Maria was just making stuff up about her, so we're both good. She just needs some time to be alone."

"That's good. Look, Mike, I-"

"I don't want to talk about that right now," Mike said, walking past him. "I need to be alone too, I think."

"But the vote-"

"I heard the others talking about voting Katie. Go vote for her, or me, I don't care." He entered the boys' trailer, leaving Cameron alone.

"I still can't believe we won!" Saide said as she, Eva, Sierra, and Anne Maria relaxed in the girls' trailer. "By the way, all that stuff I said about you guys was soooooo not true. Especially the part about Eva being the missing link. Heart you Eva!" Eva just rolled her eyes.

"You totally saved us Anne Maria," Sierra told her teammate. "I uploaded a clip of your little rant and it's already the most reposted clip on any of my blogs. #ZokeIsAHoax has been trending for two hours!"

"What can I say, I'm born for this sort of thing," Anne Mara said proudly.

"Do you think Zoey knows you were kidding?" Sadie asked. Anne Marai shrugged. "She seemed really upset. I would-" She was cut off by the door to the trailer opening and Zoey walking in. It looked like she had been crying and she didn't say a word to them as she climbed into her bunk. The girls looked to Anne Maria.

The Jersey Shore Reject sighed. "Alright, fine. Ay, Red!" Zoey didn't respond. "Look, I didn't really mean-"

"I don't care, Anne Maria," Zoey responded, her voice hoarse. "Great job winning the challenge, I guess, but that really hurt. I thought we were going to become friends…" Anne Maria and the other girls just gave each other awkward glances as they tried not to say anything else that would upset Zoey.

"What do you want, dirt boy?" Jo asked as she did her squat-thrusts outside the craft services tent. Scott walked out from behind a fake bush.

"How'd you know I was there?" Scott asked.

"I figured it was either your hair or the bush was on fire," Jo replied. "Now spill it."

"I'm here to talk about the vote," he said.

"We're voting Katie, duh," Jo said. "After how awful she was in today's challenge, no athletic ability could save that pathetic display."

Scott shrugged. "I don't think Katie's a very good player either," he admitted, "but what was the whole reason you chose her?"

"Because she was good at dodgeball?"

"Right, but what was the other reason."

Jo thought for a moment. "Because I didn't want Sadie…and I wanted to make sure they were split up."

Scott smirked. "Exactly. And they're split up. So why waste a vote getting rid of her now when there's still a couple people on this team who could easily band together. Maybe…former teammates."

Jo was catching on now. "You mean Cameron, Mike, and Brick. Brickhouse told me he wouldn't vote for either of them. Are you saying we pull one over on him?"

"As much as I'd love to be the one sending that loser packing, no. Brick's got his usefulness still. Mike and Cameron…well, you saw that fight they had. This might be our only chance to stick it to one of them before they make up."

"So you want to vote Mike then, because he's useless without those personalities of his. Plus he totally screwed us in the tiebreaker."

Scott shrugged. "It's a tough call," he said, "they're both total dorks. But remember, whichever one we get rid of, Noah takes his place." Jo paused her squat-thrusting and considered this, while Scott waited for her answer.

The lights at the amphitheater turned on as the Screaming Foleys took their seats for the second Gilded Chris Ceremony of the season. Chris walked onstage a few seconds later in his signature tuxedo. Chef appeared beside him in his black dress from the challenge, carrying the Gilded Chris statues.

"Screaming Foleys," Chris said with a nod, "welcome to your first Gilded Chris Ceremony as a team. Like last time, you'll vote using the voting devices under your seats. Have to say, this was a pretty big mess of a challenge. I can't really place who will be going home." Everyone began to cast their votes on the devices.

Confessional

Brick: It's always hard voting people off. I don't think I'm going home, but I also don't think the person I voted for is going home either…

The results were printed out and handed to Chirs. The host looked them over, raising an eyebrow. "Yikes," he said, "this vote's gonna be a doozy. Remember, if you receive a Gilded Chris statue, you're safe. The first statue goes to…Dawn." Dawn nodded and caught her Gilded Chris. "Next statues are for Cody and Jo."

The geek and the jockette caught their statues. Only six statues remained, and seven members of the team.

"Also safe are Mike…and…Ezekiel." The prairie boy sighed with relief and caught his statue. "Everyone else here received at least one vote."

"Wait, really?" Cameron said, looking at who was left. Himself, Brick, Staci, Scott, and Katie. "That's a crazy split."

"Yeah, not the most coordinated vote ever," Chris commented. "Oh well. Safe with only one vote is Scott…"

"Wonder where that came from," Scott said, glaring at Dawn, who rolled her eyes.

"…and Staci." Staci tried to catch hers, but it fell to the ground instead. Chris held up the penultimate Gilded Chris. Brick, Cameron, and Katie looked at it nervously.

"The second to last Gilded Chris goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…Brick, who also only had one vote." Brick exhaled and caught his statue, relieved to still be in. "Cameron…Katie…one of you will be going home today." Both of them leaned forward in their seats. "And that person will not be…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

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…Katie. You're safe." Katie let out a little "woo!" as she jumped up and caught her Gilded Chris. Cameron, meanwhile, stared at the host in shock.

"No!" Everyone turned to see that it was Mike who had spoken up. "How…why did you guys vote for him? I thought…I thought I would be the only one."

Scott snickered. "Do the math, loser. If we got rid of Katie, we'd gain Noah. That's a total downgrade. But if we get rid of Cameron, we can only go up from there." Mike just glared at the farmer and looked apologetically at his friend.

"Cameron, the Walk of Shame awaits," Chris said, gesturing to the walk. Cameron nodded and stood up, walking toward the Lame-o-sine. Mike followed after him.

"Cameron I'm so sorry," Mike said. "I never should have voted for you! If I had voted Katie, then-"

"It's alright Mike," Cameron interrupted. "I deserve it, I pushed you too far today. And besides, I already won once." He gave Mike a hug. "You and Zoey will have all my support from back home. Good luck." He climbed into the Lame-o-sine and shut the door, leaving Mike alone.

Confessional

Mike: I…I can't believe I voted off my best friend. I was just so angry. Is that who I am? Someone who hurts people when he gets angry? Or was it someone else…

"Who is Mike talking about?" Chris asked the camera. "Will Zoey and Anne Maria salvage the bridge they built, then burned, then rebuilt, and then burned again in a matter of hours? And who will be the next contestant eliminated? Find out next time on another dramatic episode of Total…Drama…Revenge of the Action!"

VOTES

Brick: I can't vote for a friend, so I have to vote Staci. Sorry.

Cameron: Even if Mike's mad at me, I'm not going to vote for him. He's my buddy. Please don't take it personally Katie…

Cody: I feel pretty good about this vote. No offense Katie, but those lines you wrote were not great.

Dawn: I may have forgiven his past transgressions, but I still maintain my distrust for Scott. So that's who I am voting for.

Ezekiel: Eh, Katie just kind of made everyone really frustrated today, so that's who I'm voting for. Um, please don't think it's just because she's a girl.

Jo: Well, it's between Cameron and Mike. And in the end, we'll just be trading in one nerd for another. Sorry, Toothpick, but…not really.

Katie: Ugh, Cameron seemed like he was going to be really sweet when we started, but what he did to Mike was totally uncalled for!

Mike: Gah, I know he's my friend, but Cameron was just making me so frustrated today! It's okay. I'll just vote for him once. Nobody else will, so then I'll be able to move on.

Scott: Hehe, Jo thinks she's making the right decision by voting out Cameron with me. But little does she know; she's helping me get rid of one of her little helpers.

Staci: Ya, so Brick's costumes today were really bad. So I'm voting for him.

Cameron (4 – Jo, Katie, Mike, Scott), Katie (3 – Cameron, Cody, Ezekiel), Brick (1 – Staci), Scott (1 – Dawn), Staci (1 – Brick)

Killer Riggers: Anne Maria, B, Blaineley, Eva, Lightning, Sadie, Sam, Sierra, Tyler, Zoey

Screaming Foleys: Brick, Cody, Dawn, Ezekiel, Jo, Katie, Mike, Noah, Scott, Staci

Eliminated: Dakota, Cameron

Aaaaand that's a wrap! I can't imagine anyone's too torn up about Cameron's departure, I know I'm certainly not. I didn't have much of a story in mind for him other than trying to buddy up with Zoey and Mike, and that obviously not working. I didn't want to totally destroy his friendship though, so I had him and Mike make up right away, just at the cost of Cameron still being in the game.

This was a difficult challenge to write, but I enjoyed the interactions that came with it. I apologize if it was hard to visualize, the next challenges will not be that way.

Hands down my favorite part of the chapter was the team picking. I knew Jo and Lightning were going to be the captains from the start, and I wanted them to have different strategies for picking. Jo was going to try and break up easy alliances and get people on her team she could control. Originally, I was going to have Lightning only try and get strong people, but I decided to have him be a bit smarter and treat it like a sports draft. For those curious, here was the order of people he intended to pick:

Tyler, Brick, Eva, Zoey, B, Scott, Mike, Sierra, Anne Maria, Dawn, Katie, Blaineley, Sam, Sadie, Ezekiel, Cody, Noah, Cameron, Staci

What do you guys think of the teams? And who do you think/want to be the next person eliminated from the game? Thanks for reading!