Hey worldwide web,
It's been a bit, hasn't it? Things got a bit busy, I got bored of this chapter, then I got motivated, and then I got bored again. But new year means new writing goals, so let's see if I can bring you all more than one update. If you're coming back after I've been away, I'm glad to have you back. And if you're joining us for the first time, that's cool too. Enjoy!
"Last time on Total Drama Revenge of the Action…" Footage of the previous episode began to play as Chris did the recap. "Our two teams got their hands dirty in an explosive bake-off. Sadie and Katie surprised everyone by taking the lead for their respective teams. When the flour settled in the kitchen, it was the Screaming Foleys who were victorious. As Anne Maria and Zoey continued to wage war, it was Sierra who was caught in the crossfire when Cody refused to stick up for her after she was accused of throwing challenges for him. Now where have I heard this story before?" Footage of Gwen and Trent from Action played. "Oh yeah! Ironic, huh? The Foleys have the number advantage, but that could all change today on another heart-pounding episode of Total…Drama…Revenge of the Action!"
Theme Song
Cody carefully tiptoed out of the boys' trailer, being sure not to make any noise as he shut the door. He took a tentative step onto the ground, looking around to make sure nobody was watching. Satisfied that the coast was clear, he turned to the direction of the craft services tent.
"Going somewhere?" Scott asked, making Cody jump. The geek turned to see Scott leaning against the trailer, smirking.
"Oh, uh, not really," Cody said nervously. "Just uh, going to go see if breakfast is ready yet."
"I'll join you then," Scott said, throwing his arm and Cody and roughly squeezing his shoulder. "After all, we need to talk about what happened last night."
"Look, about Sierra," Cody stammered. "We're not really in an alliance. I don't know why I lied, I just needed her gone!"
"Oh I know," Scott replied.
"She's just so crazy, but- wait, you knew? Then why did you-" Cody just gave Scott a confused look.
"Because now all the Riggers think that you and Sierra were working together," Scott explained. "Which could spread to our team, and if we were to lose…well…it'd be an easy sell to send you home." Cody's eyes widened. "But don't worry, I won't tell anyone. As long as you agree to be in an alliance with me."
"You're blackmailing me?!" Cody exclaimed.
"Think of it as insurance," Scott said. "If I get word of you trying to cross me, I'll expose you to the whole team. You and I are at the bottom of the totem pole, so we need to start crawling our way back up."
Confessional
Cody: I don't…really think I'm at the bottom of this team. But if Scott will keep his mouth shut as long as I vote with him, that'll be a pretty easy game for me.
"Alright fine," Cody said with a sigh. "But there's only two of us and eight of them. If we lose, even if we vote together you're still probably the next one out."
Scott's eyes narrowed. "You leave that part to me," he said. "I'll get someone else to vote with us. All we need is to stay safe for one more elimination, and by the next one we'll be running this film lot. Now get out of here. I don't want the others to get any ideas." He gave Cody a rough shove toward the mess hall. Cody grunted but continued walking. "Hmm, now who else…"
"I'll join your alliance," Staci said, appearing behind Scott.
"Ah!" Scott yelped, turning to glare at the chatterbox. "Where did you come from?"
"Oh, my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather was the first spy," Staci said. "I inherited his stealthy genes, ya. I heard everything you said to Cody, too. So I guess if you're blackmailing him, I'm going to blackmail you. Which is so funny because do you know who invented blackmail?"
"Nope, and I don't care," Scott said. He considered Staci's offer.
Confessional
Scott: On one hand…she's probably the most annoying person on the whole team. But on the other hand…she'd be perfect fodder if this plan goes south, right after Cody. Maybe instead of an alliance I should just be putting together a team of meat shields for whenever we lose…"
"I guess nobody's going to believe you if you try to say anything," Scott relented. "Fine. You can be in the alliance. But you do exactly as I say, got it?"
"Got it!" Staci said excitedly. "Ya, this is gonna be so much better than the last time I was on Total Drama." With that, she turned to walk back to the trailers, leaving Scott shaking his head.
As everyone had started to wake up and eat breakfast, Chris still had yet to appear. When they had asked Chef about it, he had rolled his eyes and mentioned that Chris was busy dealing with "a VIP" and to stop bothering him. So after eating, they found various ways to entertain themselves. This eventually devolved into what was happening now.
"102…103…104…" Jo said, grunting as she continued to do push-ups beside Brick, Lightning, Tyler, and Eva. "Beat that!"
"I'm already at 200," Eva said flatly as she continued to silently do push-ups, much to Jo's dismay. To her left, Tyler seemed to be struggling.
"Chin up, soldier!" Brick said, giving Tyler an encouraging pat on the back, which unfortunately just resulted in him face-planting back in the dirt. Those not participating in the contest were either watching or trying to pretend it wasn't happening at all (mostly just Noah).
"Oh my gosh," Sadie squealed from her spot on the sidelines, "isn't Lightning like, kind of cute?"
"Oh yeah, he's a whole damn meal," Anne Maria agreed, fixing her hair. "But honestly, I like a guy with a bit more depth, and Lightning's a kiddie pool as far as that goes." She gave Sadie an approving look. "You should totally try and slide into his end zone though, if you know what I mean." She winked.
Sadie giggled and shook her head. "Oh, guys like Lightning really don't like girls like me," she remarked. "Besides, Trent's probably waiting for me back in the Aftermath studio. Anyway, so last season you and that Vito guy were a thing?"
"Eh," Anne Maria replied, "kinda. Vito was apparently this dude in Mike's head or something like that. I don't really get it. Dude knew how to kiss though."
"So then who do you think is cute now?" Sadie asked.
"I don't know," Anne Maria said, scanning across the group of other contestants. Her gaze stopped on Tyler, who was still huffing and puffing and trying to keep up with the others.
Sadie followed her gaze and gasped. "Oh my gosh, Tyler's also super cute!"
Confessional
Sadie: Back when Katie and I were on the Killer Bass, we made soooo many cute rankings of the guys on Total Drama. Tyler was always near the top of our lists.
"Attention castmates," Chris said over the loudspeaker. "Please join me on Set E for today's mini-challenge."
"Mini challenge?" Jo said. "Pass. We need to use all our energy on the actual challenge today."
"Ahem," Chris said, the loudspeaker still on. "Attendance for the mini-challenge is mandatory. Now get over here!"
The contestants quickly made their way to Set E, which was set up to look like the outside of an important-looking building. Fancy marble steps ran up to a large set of doors lined with pillars.
"It kind of looks like a bank, eh," Ezekiel said. "I wonder if this is a challenge about the stock channel." Everyone looked at him. "What?"
Confessional
Ezekiel: Yeah, back home we only had three channels on TV. The news, the network Total Drama was on, and the stock exchange. Man, if only I'd been watching the numbers instead of the ads for this show, my life would have been totally different.
"Welcome everyone," Chris said, walking down the steps in a police uniform. "To the Total Drama Court!"
"Ewww, these challenges are all going to be about Courtney?" Sadie complained.
"She's not here is she?" Katie asked.
"Not that kind of Court, Sadie," Chris sighed. "Today's challenges are all about law and-" He paused as someone said something into his headset. "Oh, I can't say that? Okay, fine! Ahem, today's challenges are all about rules and regulations!"
"Oh my gosh, are we doing one of those courtroom shows like Judge Trudy?!" Anne Maria asked excitedly.
Confessional
Anne Maria: If I wasn't so hot, I think I'd want to be a judge. I look really good in black robes. In fact, I look so good I'm not allowed to attend high school graduation because I'd 'make a scene' and 'don't have enough credits to graduate.' Whateva.
"Sorry Anne Maria, but we're going more of the gritty legal drama route with these challenges," Chris explained. There was a click-clack noise behind him and everyone turned to see Chef dressed up in a pantsuit and wearing a blonde wig, walking down the courthouse steps in high heels.
"Woah, Chef's dressed like that hot lawyer lady from that one movie," Tyler said.
"Aw yeah, Lightning loved that movie," Lightning said. "What was it called?"
"Erin Brockovich, but I don't remember the lawyer lady's name."
"Isn't Erin Brockovich a movie?" Noah said, rolling his eyes. "What happened to this being based on TV?"
"My only costumes were this and Ruth Bader Ginsburg," Chef grumbled. "And that one seemed…disrespectful, so I went with this instead."
Confessional
Zoey: Do you think Chef makes all those costumes himself? I can't imagine Chris would be willing to spend that much for a running joke.
"Today's challenge will end with a fierce courtroom battle," Chris continued. "But first, we need to decide who will play offense as the prosecution, and who will play defense as the…well, defense. That brings us to our mini-challenge. I need one representative from each team."
"I'll do it," Jo said. "The rest of you would just get tired out and slow us down in the real thing."
"If she's doing it, Lightning's doing it," Lightning declared. "You're going down, Jo!"
"Now watch the mini-challenge be to pass the bar exam," Noah said snidely, "we'd be here all night." There was a pregnant pause in the air. "What? Nobody thinks that's funny?"
"I thought it was funny," Ezekiel offered.
"Not helping, homeschool."
"Our mini-challenge will involve running up these stairs where two filing cabinets await you," Chris explained. "Inside each filing cabinet is a golden file. Whoever finds the golden file and brings it back down to me first gets to decide who does what."
"That's it?" Scott complained. "Why even bother calling it a challenge?"
"You're right, Scott," Chris agreed. "It is too easy. Now some of the files have bombs attached to them." Several gasps and protests erupted from the contestants. "What?! It was Scott's idea! Fine, fine, they'll be paint bombs. Now on your mark…get set…go!"
Lightning and Jo took off up the stairs toward the filing cabinets, leaving the remaining 17 contestants with Chris.
"So do we like…do anything?" Sam asked.
"Nope," Chris said. "Just wait. This part will get edited out except for the end. I don't care what you do in the meantime, just don't wander too far."
Confessional
Scott: Since Chris is giving us so much free time, I might as well use it to search for that invincibility statue.
As Scott snuck off to go try and find the statue, everyone else just kind of watched Jo and Lightning sort through files. Occasionally, one of them would pull out a paint bomb file, but they were so far away it wasn't very clear who was who.
"Well I guess we shouldn't complain about an easy day," Mike said to Zoey, who nodded. "How have things been on your team?"
"Okay," Zoey remarked. "Anne Maria and I just aren't really talking to each other. Which is kind of awkward since we share a bunk. But I know she wants me gone. I was in the bottom two at the Gilded Chris Ceremony. If Cody hadn't told us all about his alliance with Sierra, I'd have gone home!"
"That's crazy- wait, Cody had an alliance with Sierra?" Mike said, confused. Zoey nodded. "Wow, you think you know a person." The two of them glanced over at Cody, who was sitting and watching Sam play one of his games.
Up at the filing cabinet, Lightning and Jo were both covered in various colors of paint, with no golden file in sight.
"This is taking too long!" Lightning complained. "Lightning's got a plan." With a grunt, he pulled an entire drawer out of the filing cabinet and began to dump it on the ground. Several different colored clouds of paint exploded out of the files, covering both him and Jo.
"Watch it Dud-ning," Jo said, coughing as the paint clouds cleared.
Lightning looked down at his feet and began to sort through the files. "Sha-yeah!" he cheered, holding up a golden file. "Lightning won- AH!" Another filing cabinet drawer flew into the back of his head, courtesy of Jo. Lightning dropped the file and began tumbling down the courthouse stairs.
"I'll be taking that," Jo said, snatching the file up and jogging down the steps. She made sure to step on Lightning as he groaned in pain on the ground. "Here you go, Mc-Lame." She handed him the golden file.
"Thanks, Jo," Chris said, taking it and looking it over. "But unfortunately, this is the Killer Riggers' file. Which means Lightning and his team are the winners!"
"What?!" Jo exclaimed. "Are you serious?"
"Uh, yeah," Chris replied. "Haven't you seen this show before? We're always doing the whole 'you thought you won but actually it was the other team' twist. That means the Killer Riggers get to choose whether or not they'll be the prosecution or defense."
The Killer Riggers huddled together to discuss while Jo pouted on the sidelines.
"Defense seems like it'd be the easiest," Zoey suggested. "We'd just have to poke holes in whatever the other team's reasoning is."
"Can't believe I'm saying this, but Red's right," Anne Maria said. "No need to make ourselves do extra work. Chris, we're on defense."
"Suit yourself," Chris said, shrugging. "Killer Riggers are on defense. That means the Screaming Foleys are on prosecution. Before we get to the courtroom battle, you'll first need to gather evidence. So your next challenge is to investigate the Film Lot to find clues to help solve a murder."
"Um, I thought we were supposed to be lawyers," Brick said.
"Yeah, but legal dramas always have the lawyers do some investigating, for some reason. Anyways, Chef has been murdered! And using these files, which are now covered in paint, you must figure out who did it and present your evidence in Total Drama Court."
"But wait, if we're the defense, who are we defending?" Sam asked.
"Good question, Sam," Chris said. "That's for the Screaming Foleys to know and for you to find out. In their file is information they can use to build a case against one of you. You'll have to make your defense up as you go once you've finished gathering evidence."
"That's not fair," Blaineley complained. "You don't just get put on trial without knowing you're being accused."
"Tell that to all the lawsuits being sent my way in past seasons," Chris grumbled. "Alright, you have two hours to collect evidence and run through the files. And remember, in this challenge, everyone is a suspect."
"Even you?" Staci asked.
"Except me. Now go!"
The two teams quickly split up to go review their files and figure out what to do next. The Screaming Foleys found themselves at Craft Services.
"So we should figure out who we're prosecuting, right?" Mike asked. He opened the folder and showed everyone.
"Oh, this will be easy," Scott scoffed. "You guys go look for clues or whatever, but someone should go over there and spy on the Riggers. That way we know everything that they know."
"Why don't you just go and ask your fat friend?" Jo asked Katie, who glared at her.
"One: rude. Two: I can't use Sadie like that," Katie said. "Even if we're on different teams we're still BFFFLs."
"Oh, so your loyalty to her is stronger than your loyalty to your team," Scott mused, glancing at Cody, who shifted uncomfortably. "Interesting…"
"Scott it was your idea," Mike interjected. "You can go snoop around. The rest of us should be trying to put together clues. Even if it seems like this will be an easy case, the defense always has an advantage." Jo silently got up and started to exit the tent. "Where are you going?"
"To do anything other than this challenge," Jo said. "I did my job in the mini-challenge."
"But…didn't you lose?" Ezekiel asked, confused.
"I was still first. So the rest of you can handle this. Besides, we all agree it's an open-and-shut case. Let me know when it's time for part three." With that, she left the tent.
"Well if she's not doing it, I'm not doing it," Noah remarked. "I feel like if we lose we can just vote her out."
Brick cleared his throat. "Now hold on a second," he said. "We're a team. We aren't just going to start sitting these challenges out. We need to look for those clues. I'll go talk to Jo. We'll meet back here in an hour to put together our case. Now let's move out!" Several of the Screaming Foleys cheered in agreement.
Confessional
Scott: Constant pants-pissing aside, Brick's a pretty good leader. Which means if this goes south, that's one more person to pin it on. Too easy…
Outside the boys' trailer, Tyler, Sam, and Lightning were looking for clues. Well, Tyler was at least. Lightning was still a little woozy from being hit in the head with a filing cabinet drawer, and Sam was super out of it.
"Hey look!" Tyler said, holding up a piece of paper. "It's a note! 'Meet me at the Craft Services Tent at 5 AM to discuss our secret plan'. Woah, that's kind of spooky." He didn't get much of a response from his companions. "Come on guys, we have to at least try! This kind of stuff isn't really my thing, but if we lose, one of us could go home."
"Sorry man," Sam sighed. "It's just…hard for me to get into the game like this now that Dakota's gone."
"Dude, that's more of a reason to try!" Tyler urged. "Because the longer you stay in the game, the more likely you'll get to see her again after you win that million! Come on, there's gotta be a video game or something that this reminds you of."
Sam seemed to perk up a bit as he looked around. "You're…right," he said. "I see it now. A battle between Hope and Despair…"
"Huh?"
Sam struck a pose. "Come on!" he said. "Let's gather up those Truth Bullets."
"Wait, you think someone shot Chef?"
Sam opened the door to the boys' trailer, smirking at the camera. "We'll uncover the truth," he said, only making Tyler even more confused. "It'll all come together at the Class Trial…"
A scream echoed throughout the film lot, drawing many people's attention to the Craft Services Tent. There, they would find Sadie and Blaineley standing in front of Chef, lying on the floor. A puddle of blood had formed under him.
"They literally faked someone's death in the last episode," Noah said dryly, rolling his eyes at Sadie, the source of the scream.
"Yeah but like, what if this time it's real?" Sadie asked.
"I'm not dead," Chef said, sitting up, prompting Sadie to scream again. "This is just for the challenge. Now get to investigating!" He then slumped back on the ground, "dead." Most people dispersed but a few stayed to look at the crime scene.
Zoey knelt beside Chef, looking him over. "Wow this wound makeup is really good," she said, looking at a large fake slash across Chef's neck.
"Thanks," Chef said, making Zoey flinch.
Behind Zoey, Eva glowered.
Confessional
Eva: These challenges have been so dumb. But if I don't start helping, my team's going to think I'm dead weight. And if they think they can just vote me out, I'll make sure they're dead weight! GOT IT?!
"So…uh…what did you find?" Eva said gruffly.
Zoey looked up at her. "Oh, hey Eva," she said with a smile. "Well, Chef has a pretty big cut on his neck. I'm guessing that's what killed him."
Eva looked at the fake wound and took a step back to look at the rest of Chef's "corpse." She made a growling noise and roughly flipped him over, ignoring the "Hey!" he let out.
"There's not much blood," she remarked. "He wasn't killed here." She got up and started to walk away.
"Hey wait, that's a big clue!" Zoey said, following Eva. "If we can figure out where Chef was actually killed, we might be able to figure out who did it."
"Okay."
Zoey looked around the rest of the room. "Hey, what do you think of this?" She pointed to a small streak of red on the floor. It was thin, maybe an inch or two wide, and seemed to lead out of the tent. Or into the tent, depending on how you looked at it.
"I don't know," Eva said. Zoey looked at her. Eva groaned. "But I guess we need to go investigate. Let's go." Zoey smiled and followed her out of the tent.
Confessional
Zoey: I know Eva's got a bad reputation of being a short-tempered bully, but I think she could just use some friends! I know I really grew a lot once I made friends last season.
In the kitchen area, Staci picked up a sheet of paper that was sitting on a nearby table. "Autopsy," she read aloud. "Ya, Chef must have gone to a mechanic before this."
Blaineley snatched the paper out of Staci's hand. "Hmm," she murmured, reading it over.
"What's it say?" Staci asked.
"Like I'm going to tell you," Blaineley said with a scoff. "Unless…of course, you tell me something."
Staci's eyes widened with excitement. "Ooh ya, I can tell you all sorts of things," she exclaimed. "Like how my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-"
"Actually," Blaineley cut in. "I'll let you see the autopsy if you tell me who your prime suspect is for this case."
"But…if I tell you then my team's not gonna be happy with me."
"Oh well! No autopsy for you then." Blaineley turned to exit the kitchen. Staci looked down at the "dead" Chef and then back to Blaineley.
"Wait!" she called out, running after Blaineley into the main part of the tent. The former paparazzi smirked at the camera.
"This is where Chef stays during the show?" Jo remarked as she stood outside a trailer. Brick and Ezekiel stood beside her. "Kind of a dump if you ask me." It certainly wasn't the nicest-looking trailer in the world.
Brick went up and tried to open the door, but it was locked. "We'll need to find another way in," he said, lifting up the welcome mat. "Or maybe he left a key somewhere. Zeke, go around and see if he left a window open or if there's a second door into the-" He was cut off by the sound of breaking glass as one of the windows nearest to the door shattered. Brick and Ezekiel turned to look at Jo, who had just thrown a rock at the glass.
"What?" Jo said, reaching into the window and unlocking the door. "I thought we were trying to get in." She pushed the front door open. "Babies first."
Brick peered into the trailer, grabbing a towel and tossing it over the shards of broken glass on the floor. Ezekiel and Jo followed behind him.
"Yo, it's really clean in here," Ezekiel murmured. "I didn't think Chef was the neat freak type, eh."
"Once a soldier, always a soldier," Brick said. He looked through some of Chef's stuff. "I don't see any sign of a struggle."
"Ugh, it smells like a toilet in here," Jo said, covering her nose.
Brick looked at her confused. "What are you talking about, it smells completely clean in here?" Ezekiel nodded in agreement. Jo just rolled her eyes and left the trailer to get some air. Brick shrugged and continued to search the place.
Ezekiel checked the little bathroom in Chef's trailer, which was also spotless. He lifted up the toilet lid but found nothing. It was only as he was leaving that he noticed something. "Uh, yo!" he called out, getting Brick's attention. "Chef's got a little trash bin in here, eh. But it's empty. There isn't even a bag." He gestured to the small receptacle in the bathroom. "Kinda weird, right?"
Brick frowned and went to check the only other trashcan in the trailer, which was beside Chef's bunk. "Yeah, there's no bag in here either," he said, moving to the kitchen area to rummage through Chef's cupboard. He pulled out a roll of trash bags. "So whoever emptied the trash didn't bother to replace the bags."
"What does that mean, eh?" Ezekiel asked.
"I'm not sure," Brick admitted. "But maybe the others will find something that fits."
"Are we done here yet?!" Jo hollered from her spot outside the trailer. Brick looked at Ezekiel, who shrugged. They hadn't really found anything else of note here, so they left to meet up with the rest of their team.
The Killer Riggers were meeting back up at the girls' trailer to discuss the evidence they had found.
"Eva found a clue that makes us think Chef was killed somewhere other than the Craft Services Tent," Zoey explained. "Eva, tell them about it!"
Everyone looked at Eva, who shifted uncomfortably. "What? There wasn't a lot of blood…and stuff." She looked at the others. "What else do you want?!"
"We also found these weird blood streaks on the ground," Zoey added. "And when we followed them, we found a small cart tucked away behind the Confessional. It had blood on the wheels."
"So someone killed Chef and then dumped his body in the tent," Anne Maria said. "Is that what we're going with?"
"Then where was Chef actually killed?" Tyler asked.
"That doesn't matter," Blaineley interrupted. "All we have to do is make sure that the other team can't prove one of us did it."
"But how can we do that if we don't know who they're going to accuse?" Sadie asked.
Blaineley smirked. "Well," she said, "we do, actually. That chatterbox, Staci, she told me everything. All I had to do was give her the autopsy report."
"Blaineley, that's a huge clue!" Sam exclaimed.
"I'm sorry, was I speaking to you?" Blaineley asked. "No. Go back to moping over your freaky girlfriend, mkay?" Sam's shoulders sagged at that comment. "Anyway, the person they're going to accuse is B."
B's eyes widened in surprise.
"Oh great, and he can't even speak to defend himself," Eva mumbled. "Guess that's another loss for us."
"It's not over yet," Zoey said. "We just have to look at the evidence and figure out how to prove that B couldn't have done it. That's going to be hard without the autopsy…but maybe there's some other clues. Did anyone else find anything?"
Sadie raised her hand. "Um, Chef had like a big cut on his neck, right? Well I looked at all the kitchen knives, and they were soooooo clean. But like, get this, the sink? It had a bunch of soap in it!"
"So maybe someone used a kitchen knife and used the sink in Craft Services to clean it," Zoey said. "I guess that makes sense if they were already there to dump Chef's body…"
The film lot's intercom whirred to life. "Attention contestants," Chris announced over the speakers. "Everyone please report back to the courtroom set for our trial! We'll see who you think killed Chef, and maybe we'll find out if you're right."
With no time left to discuss, the Killer Riggers joined the Screaming Foleys at the courthouse, which was now opened to reveal a full courtroom inside. And sitting at the judge's bench…"
"Please welcome former TD competitor and three-time loser…Courtney!" Chris said. Courtney glared at him from her seat. She was dressed in a black judge's robe and had on a powdered wig. "Did you enjoy your accommodations last night, Courtney?"
"They were adequate," she said flatly. "Although I thought I requested silk sheets, not satin." She turned to look at the contestants. "Alright everyone, take your positions. This is my courtroom." She gestured to a circle of 19 wooden podiums, one for each contestant.
"I thought this was going to be like a real trial," Noah remarked.
"Our focus groups liked the idea of a free-for-all debate where everyone shouts over each other rather than a formal court proceeding," Chris explained. "So instead you'll all be taking the stand and using your combined clues and brainpower to figure out who killed Chef Hatchet!"
"The trial is only over once a verdict has been reached," Courtney added, banging a gavel on her bench. "Once Chef's killer has been identified, and guilt has been proven without a doubt, the team who did the best will win immunity."
"Ahem!" Chris coughed, annoyed. "There was nothing in your contract about getting to do the challenge intros. So zip it!"
Everyone stood at a podium, which seemed to be arranged in alphabetical order. Sam seemed to be particularly excited about this. "Remember everyone, we have to choose Hope," he said.
"Did you just say 'hope' with a capital 'H', eh?" Ezekiel asked, scratching his head.
"Each team is allowed to call a fifteen-minute recess," Chris continued. "You'll want to use that time wisely."
"Question," Mike said, raising his hand. "Do you know who actually killed Chef?"
"What a dumb question, of course I do." Mike deflated a little at that answer. "Anyone else have a question?"
"Yeah, do we-" Sadie said, but Chris quickly cut her off.
"Let the trial for who killed Chef Hatchet…BEGIN!"
Everyone stood around awkwardly, nobody really wanting to make the first move. Some contestants shuffled papers around.
Blaineley cleared her throat. "You might as well call it now," she said to Courtney. "Because we know who the Screaming Foleys are going to go after, thanks to Staci." She looked at the chatterbox.
"You told them?!" Jo exclaimed. "Why?!"
"It was the only way to get the autopsy," Staci said. "But I-"
"Great, there goes the whole plan," Scott groaned. "I knew we should have voted you out instead of Cameron."
"But-"
"Oh well, easy vote for us," Noah said with a shrug. Staci bit her lip nervously.
"Excuse me, I wasn't done talking," Blaineley said. "Since Staci was so kind as to give us a little heads up, we've developed an ironclad defense that will prove without a doubt that B isn't the one who killed Chef." Despite all instances of murder being completely hypothetical, B mimed wiping sweat off his brow as if he was relieved. "So go on Foleys, try to pin this on B." Blaineley stared at them, looking quite smug.
There was a beat of silence as the members of the Screaming Foleys exchanged glances, and then looked over at Staci, before all of them burst out laughing. Blaineley's confident smirk quickly turned into an irritated frown as the rest of her teammates started to get a bad feeling about their chances…
"Order!" Courtney snapped, banging her gavel a few times. "Order in my court!"
"I- And she- You actually- AHAHA!" Scott hollered as he wiped a tear from his eye.
"Okay, I am like…so confused," Sadie admitted. "Did Blaineley say something funny?"
"We weren't given a file on B," Jo said as the laughter died down. "We were given one on Lightning! Miss Won't Shut Up actually lied for a good reason this time!" Staci looked kind of proud of herself once she heard the backhanded compliment.
"But- but- but- but- but-" Blaineley said, a look of shock on her face. "I thought…" She leveled a glare at Staci. "Well then, it seems I underestimated you, Staci."
Confessional
Blaineley: So…maybe I got totally duped. Whatever. I still came out ahead today. That moment is going into this season's highlight reel for sure. And I'm going to get my publicist to make my reaction into a gif. Viewers at home, be sure to use ' ' in all your group chats!
"Does anyone have a serious point to bring up to start this trial off?" Courtney asked.
"Do we want to use our recess to figure out a way to defend Lightning?" Zoey asked her teammates.
"Lightning needs no recess, Lightning's an innocent man!" Lightning declared. "Psssh, Screaming Foleys? More like Screaming…uh…"
"Phonies?" Jo suggested.
"Yeah! Screaming Phonies. Hit Lightning with your best shot!"
"Sure," Jo said, shrugging. "Tell them, Noah."
Noah rolled his eyes and shut the book he had been reading. "Obviously we were told that Lightning was the number one suspect," he explained, holding up the file. "According to our report, Chef had been refusing to give Lightning high-protein meals, and Lightning had been really pestering him about it."
"Objection!"
Everyone turned to the source of the objection, Sadie. "Oh, do we not have something to bring up against that?" she asked her team.
"Overruled," Courtney declared, banging her gavel. "Noah, continue."
"Wait, we can still refute that," Zoey said. "Lightning, you didn't actually bother Chef about the protein, right?"
"Uh, well," Lightning murmured, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Lightning may have called Chef a handful of names and other words that Lightning won't repeat. But Lightning needs his protein. The powder's not enough!"
"Which brings us to Exhibit A," Noah continued. He passed out a photo of what seemed to be Chef's hands covered in a strange white powder. "We found this residue on Chef's hands. It looks like Lightning's protein powder." He also produced a small plastic bag containing the powder.
"Or it just looks like Chef needs to use some more lotion," Anne Maria said dryly. "Come on judge, this whole trial is a sham!"
"I will not have my judicious authority called into question," Courtney said. "Noah, was it determined to be protein powder?"
"No, but if you really want to taste test something that was on Chef's hands, go ahead," Noah shot back. Courtney pursed her lips, but had no further questions.
"All you've managed to prove is that Chef at some point got powder on his hands," Blaineley remarked. "Any one of us could have still killed him."
"Did anyone see Lightning go to the craft services tent to kill Chef?" Sadie asked.
"Of course not, moron," Scott snapped. "This is all a made-up murder anyway! But we know that Lightning and Chef had an issue with one another. Maybe Lightning snapped and killed him because he's suffering from protein withdrawal."
"We should take this one step at a time," Zoey said. "Let's talk about the circumstances of Chef's death. You guys have the autopsy, what does it say that makes you think Lightning did it?"
"Like we're going to just tell you," Scott sneered.
"We have to convict Lightning with evidence," Dawn said. She reached for the file. "According to this, Chef's time of death was at around 4 AM. His body was found in the Craft Services Tent, with a large slashing wound on his neck. Someone must have met him there and killed him."
"No wait, that's wrong!"
This time it was Sam who spoke up. He struck a dramatic pose. "Chef's body barely had any blood under it in the tent. I don't think he was killed there, but instead, he was moved afterward."
"Why would they bother moving him?" Jo asked. "And if they did, where did he actually die?"
"Ooh, wait, I know!" Sadie said excitedly. "The sink in the kitchen was still wet and had soap in it. Maybe they moved Chef to the tent so they'd be able to clean up the weapon more easily."
"Do we know that a knife is what killed Chef?" Brick asked.
"The autopsy says that his wound was caused by a single slash with a blade," Dawn read aloud. "A kitchen knife would be able to inflict such a horrible wound."
"Plus Chef's body never made it to the kitchen itself," Mike said. "So it'd make sense if the killer grabbed a knife, went to kill him somewhere, and then brought him back."
"But we still don't know where he actually died," Jo remarked.
"Maybe we do, eh," Ezekiel said. "We checked Chef's trailer, remember?"
"Yeah, and we didn't find anything."
"Exactly, yo. What if it was so clean because someone was trying to cover up a murder."
"Good thinking, soldier," Brick said, giving Ezekiel a salute. "Jo, remember when you said you couldn't stand the smell? What if that was cleaner you were smelling?"
"Sure, whatever," Jo said. "So Chef died in his trailer and Lightning dragged his body all the way to the craft tent. So what?"
"Objection!"
"Actually, I don't think Chef was dragged at all," Zoey said. "Eva and I found a cart with blood on the wheels, and some red streaks on the floor by Chef's body. That could have been used to move him."
"You guys aren't using the term 'objection' properly," Courtney whined, slamming her gavel down. "Knock it off or I'm holding you all in contempt of court!"
"Pretty sure we're already in contempt of Court," Noah snarked to the nearest member of his team.
Scott looked at him. "I don't get it," he said. Noah just looked at the camera.
"Where was the cart?" Katie asked.
"We found it in some bushes near the Confessional," Zoey explained. "But I don't know where it came from."
"Would Lightning really need to use a cart to transport Chef's body?" Tyler asked. "I mean, he is pretty strong…"
"Yeah, Lightning wouldn't have used no dumb cart," Lightning agreed, flexing. "Lightning can lift anything on his own!"
"He might not have needed it, but that doesn't mean he didn't use it," Mike pointed out. "All the cart tells us is that anyone could have used it to move Chef. It doesn't disqualify Lightning from that pool of people."
"But haven't we cast enough doubt on whether or not he did it?" Zoey asked Courtney.
"Not really," Courtney remarked. "While the prosecution has failed to produce much concrete evidence that it was Lightning, the defense has done nothing but rely on the idea that it could be anyone who committed the crime. You'll need to work harder to exonerate him."
"I thought we believed in innocence until proven guilty?" Cody asked.
"Who's side are you on?" Scott snapped. "Sierra's not on that team anymore, remember?" He gave Cody a knowing look.
Cody nodded nervously. "I-I just don't know how either team can win if there aren't enough evidence to rule Lightning out or accuse someone else." They all turned to Chris.
"Hey, it's not my fault that you guys did such a bad job of investigating," the host said defensively. "But fine. I'm changing the rules of the trial."
"You can't do that!" Courtney exclaimed. "This is my courtroom!"
"Actually, the courtroom belongs to Total Drama Inc. And it's my show. New rule: whoever can figure out who really killed Chef wins."
"So does that mean Lightning isn't the killer then?" Scott asked.
"Fine, sure. Lightning didn't do it. There you go. That's one less suspect."
"Sha-yeah! Lightning's a free man!" Lightning did a little dance at his podium.
"One down, only eighteen more to go," Noah deadpanned. "And with Lightning being innocent, none of our case holds any water."
"Maybe we should run through the evidence we have as a group, then," Dawn suggested. "We know the cause of Chef's death, and we have a good idea of where he was killed. Were there any other clues we haven't talked about?"
"There was a note," Tyler said, holding up the note he had found earlier. It says 'Meet me at the Craft Services Tent at 5 AM to discuss our secret plan' so maybe Chef was trying to meet with one of us!"
"In that case, the killer has to be a guy, right?" Anne Maria asked. "Since he wouldn't leave a note for a girl in the boys' trailer."
"But we know that Chef never made it to the tent," Mike said. "He died at 4 AM and the meeting was meant to be an hour later. What if the killer was trying to lure someone to the tent so they'd find Chef's body?"
"In that case, it'd have to be one of the girls!" Scott declared. "Because if this was left on the trailer door, that means they couldn't get in to put it on someone's bunk."
"That feels a little flimsy…" Zoey admitted. "But I think we're on the right track. What else is there?"
"Well there's still the powder," Katie pointed out. "Unless we think that was just to frame Lightning."
"But how did they get Lightning's protein powder if they couldn't get into the trailer?" Sam asked.
"Wait a minute, let Lightning see that!" Lightning snatched up the bag of powder. He dipped a finger in and licked it. "Yuck! This isn't protein powder."
"What is it?" Staci asked.
"Lightning doesn't know!"
Sam frowned and grabbed the bag, sniffing it. "Hmmm, it's kind of like baby powder…"
"Oh no, Chef got murdered by a baby!" Sadie cried.
"Oh my gosh, Sadie, remember when we got hired as babysitters for that mom with like eight kids?" Katie asked.
"Oh my gosh, and one of them got replaced by the neighbor without us knowing. That mom was sooooo mad."
"Oh my gosh, you're so right."
"Order!" Courtney snapped, cutting them both off with the sound of her gavel. "Somebody needs to start making an actual point in this trial."
Sam's eyes widened. "Wait, I figured it out!" he declared. "Lightning isn't the killer!"
"Duh!" Jo said, rolling her eyes. "Chris already told us that."
"And neither is Tyler, or Jo, or Brick..." Sam continued to list off people until he had said everyone's name.
"Is he broken or something?" Anne Maria asked. "He just said all of us are innocent. There's nobody left."
"Nobody…" Sam said. "Except her!" He pointed a finger at Courtney.
"I beg your pardon?!" Courtney snapped.
"Think about it," Sam said. "Courtney doesn't have access to the boys' trailer, and she's not strong enough to move a dead Chef all by herself. And this white powder? It's powder from her wig!" Everyone looked at the wig, which matched the color of the powder.
"Are you implying I've been wearing this the whole time?" Courtney asked.
"Yeah, and Chef was killed last night," Scott pointed out. "Well, this morning, I guess. Courtney hasn't been here long enough to kill him."
"No wait, that's wrong!"
"Will you quit doing that?" Scott asked with an annoyed huff.
"Chef told us that Chris was busy dealing with a VIP, and then Chris mentioned that Courtney had stayed here overnight. That means she was on the film lot when Chef was murdered."
"It could work…" Mike said, scratching his chin.
"It absolutely could not work!" Courtney shouted. "I'm the judge, not the defendant! You're all totally out of line. Order! Order! Order!" She hit the gavel against the table again.
"Actually Courtney, they're right on the money," Chris said. "Sam, congratulations, you've figured out the true killer and have won immunity for the Killer Riggers."
"Really?!" Sam exclaimed. "I did it? Alright!" The other Killer Riggers joined in the cheering.
"This is absurd," Courtney spat. "I would have never killed Chef."
"Yeah, well this is all made-up anyway, so…you did," Chris told her. "And since you've been found guilty, it's time to face the consequences. Oh Chef…"
Chef, now alive for real, walked into the courtroom in a police uniform. He grabbed Courtney and started to put her in handcuffs.
"Don't touch me!" Courtney snapped, kneeing Chef in the groin. He groaned and crumpled to the floor. "Chris, you'll be hearing from my lawyers about this!" Chef got up and began to chase her out of the courtroom.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm soooooo scared," Chris said. "Anyways, that's all for today's challenge. Killer Riggers, enjoy immunity. Screaming Foleys, I'll see you at the award ceremony.
"But that's not fair," Scott complained. "You changed the rules on us!"
"Didn't ask, don't care." With that, Chris left the set and the contestants were allowed to do whatever they wanted.
The Killer Riggers were in high spirits after their win. Most of them had gathered in the mess hall to celebrate. Lightning had complained about his head hurting from the challenge and had gone to lie down, while Blaineley was off sulking somewhere after she had almost cost them all the win.
"That was, like, soooooo smart, Sam," Sadie said. "I never would have, like, guessed that the killer was Courtney."
"Heh, it was only because Lightning actually tasted the powder," Sam admitted sheepishly. "But I figured this challenge was going to have some sort of extra twist on top of it. I hope Courtney's not too mad that I accused her of murder."
"Knowing Courtney, she definitely is," Tyler remarked. "But that's okay. She's mad at most people."
"We're like, so lucky she isn't a contestant this season," Sadie added.
"You seem to be doing better now, Sam," Zoey commented. "I bet Dakota's really proud of you right now."
Sam smiled sadly. "I hope so," he said. "I still really miss her."
"Just think, dude," Tyler said. "If you can do what you did today just…" He counted on his fingers. "Twenty more times or something, you'll be seeing Dakota again in no time!"
Sam thought this over for a few seconds. "Huh, you're right."
While the others continued to chat, Zoey noticed Eva standing awkwardly in the corner of the tent. The redhead approached her. "Hey Eva, how's it going?"
"It's fine," Eva grumbled, not making eye contact.
"You know, Sam did a great job in the challenge, but so did you. You were the one who helped us figure out where Chef had been killed."
Eva just nodded, unsure of what to say.
"I just wanted to let you know I'm glad you're on our team," Zoey continued. "I don't think we could have won without you."
"Uh…well, thanks," Eva said, a tinge of red coming to her face. "I'm…glad to be here. I guess." Zoey's face seemed to brighten.
Confessional
Zoey: I'll take it! You know, Eva just needs some encouragement to come out of her shell. And I'll never say no to more friends. With Cameron gone and Mike on the other team, and with everything that's happened with Anne Maria, I was starting to get a little lonely…
Scott was waiting impatiently outside the girls' trailer. "Come on," he groaned, checking an imaginary watch. "Where are they?"
As if on cue, the door to the girls' trailer opened and Staci stepped out. "Oh hi Scott," Staci said. "Are you here to talk about our secret alliance?"
"Shhhhh," Scott hissed. "Tell the whole film lot why don't ya? But yeah, that's why I'm here."
"Where's Cody?"
"Who cares? I'm going to talk to him later."
Staci frowned. "Ya, but how do I know you're not going to actually tell him to vote me out."
Scott blinked. "You…are way smarter than we give you credit for," he admitted. Staci shrugged. "But that's not what's happening. Er…not anymore, anyway. You actually came in pretty handy this challenge, so the team's not thinking about voting you off. Jo on the other hand…"
"She did give up on the challenge pretty quick," Staci said, nodding. "And she lost us the mini challenge."
"Exactly," Scott said smugly. "Maybe the others don't like me, but they also don't like her. And when you look at what happened today, at least I helped us out. With you, me, and Cody, that's three votes for Jo. And it shouldn't be hard to convince a few others to vote with us."
As night fell, the Screaming Foleys gathered at the elimination ceremony. Chris appeared at the podium in his usual blue tux. Chef was beside him in his Erin Brockovich costume, holding a tray with nine gilded Chris statues on it.
"Screaming Foleys," Chris said, "welcome to your second Gilded Chris ceremony. Tonight, one of you will be taking the Walk of Shame to the Lame-o-sine. Who's it gonna be?"
"Not me," Jo said confidently.
"Are you sure about that?" Chris asked. "You totally lost the mini-challenge for your team, and you almost gave up completely in the main challenge."
"You know you're screwed when Chris thinks you should go home," Scott chuckled.
"Careful Scott," Chris warned. "You've got plenty of folks on this team who hate your guts. Maybe they decided they'd rather take their chances with a quitter."
"Hey, I am not a quitter!" Jo snapped.
"Sure, Jo, sure. Now, Gilded Chris statues go to…Staci for pulling the wool over Blaineley's eyes in the trial and Mike for…I don't know. He didn't get any votes."
"Works for me," Mike said, catching a statue.
"Brick…Dawn…and Noah. You're also safe."
"Figured as much," Noah said, shrugging. Brick and Dawn seemed quite relieved to be safe this episode.
"Ezekiel, Jo, Scott, and Katie…one of you will be the one going home today," Chris said. Ezekiel started to shake a little. "That person is not…Katie."
"Phew," Katie said, catching her statue. The last ceremony had been a close one.
"Also safe is…
…
…
…Ezekiel. No votes."
"Don't scare me like that, eh," Ezekiel said as he was thrown a statue. That left Jo and Scott.
"Oh come on," Jo complained. "You guys didn't seriously vote for me, did you? Grow up!"
"The final Gilded Chris goes to…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…Sc-"
"WAIT!" cried a voice. Everyone turned to see Sam run into the amphitheater area. "I have something to say."
"We're kind of in the middle of an elimination here," Chris said, annoyed.
"Yeah, Jo was just about to leave," Scott said, smirking. Jo, meanwhile, looked furious.
"Well then I'm leaving too," Sam said. "Because I quit." Several people gasped.
"But dude, you just won it all for your team," Chris pointed out. "Why quit now?"
"Because there's still like twenty more episodes until the finale," Sam explained. "Why go through all that to see Dakota again and maybe win a million bucks, when I could quit and see her now?"
"Dakota's the nine-foot-tall orange freak, right?" Noah asked. "You've got some interesting priorities."
"It makes more sense when you remember she has a thing for losers," Scott remarked. "She liked Sam before she became a monster."
"As long as I have Dakota, I'm a winner," Sam said firmly. "With or without a million bucks."
"Aww," Katie cooed. "That's like, so sweet. I just know Justin and Trent would do the same for me."
The camera cut to a living room where Justin and Trent were sitting on a couch watching the show. They exchanged awkward glances.
"I mean, if you want to quit…fine," Chris said, shrugging. "The Lame-o-sine is that way."
"Great," Jo growled, "now I have to ride with him?"
"Actually…I don't really want to cut one of my challenges out of the lineup," Chris admitted. "So you know what? Jo gets to stay!" The other Screaming Foleys immediately began to protest. "See, your complaints are how I know I've made the right choice."
Sam ran to the Lame-o-sine and hopped into the backseat. "I'm coming, Dakota!" he hollered as the limo sped off.
"That's what happens when you try to get rid of me," Jo said, standing up and glaring at her teammates. "I'm gonna figure out every single one of you who tried to vote me off, and I'm going to make each of you pay." She stormed out of the amphitheater, leaving the rest of her teammates in stunned silence.
"Did you see that coming?" Chris asked the camera. "Because I certainly didn't. Seems like the Foleys better sleep with one eye open for the rest of the season. Or at least until they get the guts to vote Jo out again. Speaking of guts, you won't want to miss what we've got in store for next episode. Will Jo raise hell on her team? Will Anne Maria and Zoey's b-plot get resolved? And will another elimination fodder quit on us? I hope not, because quitting makes for really boring TV. See you next time on another violent episode of Total…Drama…Revenge of the Action!"
VOTES
Brick: This is a tough vote, but at the end of the day I have to vote out the soldier I trust the least. And that's Scott.
Cody: Scott didn't tell anyone about me getting rid of Sierra, so maybe I can actually work with him… In that case, I'll vote for Jo.
Dawn: I must once again cast a vote for Scott, in hopes that it will finally cleanse this film lot of his darkness.
Ezekiel: Jo kinda gave up on the challenge today, eh.
Jo: Dirt Boy is out of here. Won't miss him one bit.
Katie: So like, it seems like we're either voting for Scott or Jo. Both are kind of gross and unfashionable…but Jo's always so rude to Sadie. So she, like, gets my vote.
Mike: Jo may have bailed on the challenge today, but Scott is…well, Scott. And if I have to spend the next eight weeks with one of them, I'd gladly deal with Jo any day.
Noah: Can I vote for two people? No? Well if I have to pick…Jo reminds me more of Courtney than Scott, so I'll go with her.
Scott: I'm going to vote for Jo, and I think most of the others will do the same. And if they don't? Heh, well I've got a plan for that too.
Staci: Ya, I'm voting for Jo. And not my great-great-great-great-great-great-great uncle Joe. Jo, as in, the contestant. Ya.
Jo (6 - Cody, Ezekiel, Katie, Noah, Scott, Staci), Scott (3 - Brick, Jo, Mike)
Killer Riggers: Anne Maria, B, Blaineley, Eva, Lightning, Sadie, Tyler, Zoey
Screaming Foleys: Brick, Cody, Dawn, Ezekiel, Jo, Katie, Mike, Noah, Scott, Staci
Eliminated: Dakota, Cameron, Sierra, Sam (quit)
And there you have it, hope it was worth the nearly two year wait, oops~
I'll be honest...I'm not super pleased with this chapter. It was actually one of the first challenges I came up with. I wanted to do a legal drama episode with Courtney guest starring as the judge, and of course I'm always happy to throw in Danganronpa references, but my motivation quickly fell when working on this chapter because it's frankly not that exciting. And truthfully, I wrote the whole chapter completing forgetting which team was on offense and which team was on defense. So if the challenge seems rushed and unsatisfying, that's on me. I did, however, always know this was going to end in Sam quitting. Not to save Jo or anyone else in particular, but because Sam was ready to go. He was never going to be a winner and with Dakota gone, his plotlines were limited. There were other characters I wanted to focus on. But I wanted to send him off on a good note, so I had him hard carry his team in the challenge and then quit on his own terms. Sorry Sam fans, but I hope his elimination doesn't come as too much of a shock.
Join us next time for a hopefully more interesting challenge that you won't have to wait 18 months to read. As always, thanks for reading!