Disclaimer: not mine

Chapter 15

Riku slashed Mirage Split through the Nightmare before going into a roll, dodging an attack. He had expected some Nightmares after everything but not this level! He couldn't summon Dream Eaters for some reason, he hadn't been able to in a while. Sora was re-living his memories in his dreams, so far all of his worst ones. He gasped in pain, back slamming into the wall of Maleficent's castle. He didn't like being back there, even in Sora's nightmare.

He made his way into the entrance and froze, no, not this… he stared at himself, dressed in that strange Darkness outfit, Keyblade in hand as he faced Sora…no Donald or Goofy in sight. He spotted another difference then, the younger him had the Nightmare symbol on his chest, not the Heartless. And Sora…Sora's hand was covered in metal…did that mean it was Sora and not just a memory? His grip tightened on Mirage Split, his feet seemingly glued to the floor. He watched the clash and then he was flying across the room, catching the Keyblade against his own before it could hit Sora. He snarled at the younger him, pushing him back, launching a Dark Fire ball at him. He kept between them, attacking non-stop, feeling his magic surge inside him.

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Sora flinched but there was no pain, only the sound of an enraged snarl, and he opened his eyes to see…two Riku's? he stumbled back, confused, head foggy, but gradually he became aware that it was a dream…a nightmare of a memory. It wasn't real, it had happened years ago. He looked down at his hands, seeing the prosthetic, and then at his Keyblade. It didn't feel right, not real…it wasn't Nightmare's End or any of those he'd used in the Sleeping Worlds so did that mean it was just a memory too? He let go and it hit the ground, it didn't vanish like a real one would.

His eyes widened as the taller of the two glowed with Dark energy, heart in his throat, but his clothing didn't change…there was a symbol on his back…Dream Eater, it was the real Riku! He'd come to defend him. All he could do was stare as wings formed on Riku's back…a tail…what? He looked around but there were no other Dream Eaters or Nightmares. He remembered, Riku linked with his differently than he did, they linked into one being. Had he just not seen them before they linked? Maybe…he didn't need them anymore?

He heard Riku snarl again, saw him swipe at the Nightmare not with his Keyblade but his hand, seeing the shadowy claws on his fingers. Sora wanted to help but he didn't know how, not anymore. He tried to reach for his Keyblade, magic, anything, but nothing happened.

"Riku!" he yelled when the Nightmare vanished and then appeared behind him, blade raised.

Riku spun around and Sora saw his eyes…they were red but not like a Nightmare's shade. He blocked the blow, sending the teenaged Riku flying, launching himself into the air, following, not letting up and finally the Nightmare dissolved. Riku stood there, staring at where it had been, panting for air, wings twitching and tail lashing.

"Riku?" he called out, and Riku turned to look at him, head tilted slightly to the side. "Are you hurt?" he took a step towards him, hesitant, and Riku stepped back slightly. "Riku?" he wrapped his arms around himself, Riku'd been fighting his Nightmares, had he finally realised the truth?

He shivered slightly, going to walk away, and then a clawed hand touched his shoulder so gently he almost didn't feel it. He looked up at Riku, seeing the red eyes had changed to a soft pink colour, and his expression seemed concerned now. Why wasn't he saying anything? He gently pulled Sora closer, wrapping his arms and wings around him, making a soft crooning noise, maybe he couldn't speak in this form?

Sora shakily hugged him back, letting Riku rest their foreheads against each other, staring into pink eyes. The colour was odd and yet not scary or anything, he knew Dream Eater's changed eye colour depending on a few things.

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Riku took a breath, feeling the magic fade away, blinking into bright blue eyes filled with worry. "Sora?" he felt confused. He'd….he'd been fighting Sora's nightmares…reached Hollow Bastion, seen a Nightmare version of his Dark-self going to hurt him and then everything went…weird.

Sora offered a small smile in return, not pulling away from him, and Riku found himself moving without any conscious thought, his lips brushing Sora's gently. He realised what he'd done a second later and froze, that was the problem when in someone else's or even your own dream, you didn't always have total control over your actions when it came to deep emotions or things you wanted more than anything. It was too soon! Sora was nowhere near ready to have to deal with anything beyond his own memories.

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Sora felt the magic slip away from Riku, felt the change in his stance and then familiar cyan eyes were staring back at him. Hearing him speak was good but before he could answer he was frozen in shock as Riku kissed him. It was short and chaste but definitely a kiss…and then Riku was moving back, eyes wide, and Sora…didn't want him to even though he knew that was something he could never have, not with anyone.

"Sora, I…"

He managed a smile for Riku. "It's okay," he told him. "Bet whatever that was you did to have wings can be confusing." That was all it was, right? Riku was his Dream Eater after all and they tended to be very affectionate, affection in humans was just different though so it all got confused and led to Riku kissing him.

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Riku heard Sora trying to give him an out, to let him use the excuse of confused Dream Eater and human instincts. He could take it but…it might make things even more complicated when they eventually told him they both loved him and wanted a relationship. "Sora, stop," he put a finger over his lips and Sora immediately stopped talking. "I shouldn't have done that, because you're not ready to try and deal with anything beyond your own memories."

"I don't understand," Sora whispered, confusion obvious.

Riku slowly moved his hand to gentle cup Sora's cheek, wishing Kairi was there, she'd know what to say better than him. "You remember Kairi now, right?" he asked, and Sora nodded, eyes wide. It seemed that when dreaming, his implants didn't work, letting him show more emotion. "You shared a Paopu fruit before we went to fight Xehanort, she told me that you knew I was speaking with my Replica and….that you wanted all three of us to share the fruit. She told me that…after she kissed me. That's all we've done, kiss, we haven't gone, well further. It didn't feel right without you."

Sora was shaking his head in denial and it hurt but in his dreams, Sora couldn't hide his emotions from him.

"Sora, no. You can't push either of us away, we won't let you. Kairi's gonna be mad enough at me for not calling her since arriving here."

"You still haven't called her?"

"No, I called Terra and Mickey. Terra I called because he'd have the closest idea of what you're going through, Mickey for advice before I brought up Diving into your Heart to unlock your memories. I did call Kairi before, she knows about the amnesia. When we lost you…" he took a shaky breath and then Sora's hand was tentatively resting on his face in return. "You don't need to say or do anything, you don't even need to think about it at the moment. Just don't say no because you think it won't work because of what the Borg did to you or because of what you did as a Drone. You and Kairi forgave me everything I did, and I wasn't even possessed for all of it. I opened the Door on the Islands, not Xehanort. You're my best friend Sora, have been as far back as I can remember. What happened back then…I was jealous. I didn't understand why I was jealous of you spending so much time with her or her with you and I took it out on you both."

"I…"

He could see the conflict, Sora struggling, and he hated being the cause, but at least here it wasn't causing Sora physical pain. "I love you," he whispered, pressing a swift kiss to his lips again before stepping back. "Nothing that's happened since you vanished can change that. No matter what, I'll always be with you Sora."

With that he let the dream shift back to Sora's memories, working to guide it to dealing with better things than the main fights. After a while he pulled out and gently lifted the spell that had enabled Sora to sleep. He woke within seconds, stiffening in his hold, and Riku wondered if he remembered all of their talk from his dreams.

"It's okay Sora, you're safe," he whispered, happy when Sora relaxed again.

"Did you mean it?" he asked softly, a hand moving to clutch the one around his waist.

"I love you," Riku murmured into his ear, "and I will always be with you, no matter if you feel the same or not. You're my best friend and I'm horrible at coping without you."

"I…I need to regenerate," Sora sat up so Riku let go, sitting up as well.

"Okay, I'll be here," he knew Sora needed space to think, or not think, whatever he normally did when Regenerating. He just hoped he hadn't ruined everything with an impulsive action in Sora's dreams.

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Sora blinked as his Regeneration cycle ended, he felt more in control again, calm. Which was good because his combadge chirped at him. "Sora here."

"Sorry to interrupt your time off," Lieutenant Torres answered.

"I just finished Regenerating, can I help with something?"

"Grab some food first, then report to engineering."

"Understood." He went to his quarters quickly to clean up and change clothing.

He paused before re-dressing, staring at his naked body in the mirror. He fought the urge to turn away in disgust, now able to trace the scars his life as a Keyblade wielder had left on him before the Borg had gotten him. How could Riku touch him so freely when he had seen just his chest, when he could feel the scars and implants on and under his skin. He no longer looked so alien as he had when a Drone, he could remember catching sight of himself in various reflective surfaces over the years and was very glad so much of his old appearance had been returned.

How could he ever let Kairi see him? She was a Princess of Heart…he'd come here because he had saved her, despite all the warnings. Heck, even Xehanort had warned him of the consequences, which was a bit weird but he figured he had just wanted to rub it in. Would she blame herself for his fate if she saw?

He took a deep breath and finished dressing, using some of his few replicator rations for a sandwich to eat on the way to engineering.

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Riku picked up his phone and pressed Kairi's name, waiting for her to answer.

"Riku," she breathed in relief as the image appeared.

"Hey," he offered, trying to smile.

"What is it? Is Sora…"

"He's okay. He has his memory back now, he'd locked himself away deep in his own Heart so I had to go in and unlock it. Spent several hours in his dreams after to help but it'll still take a while for everything to settle down properly."

She closed her eyes, breathing shakily. "Where is he?" she asked, opening her eyes again, trying to see around him.

"Not here. He…he's not ready to see you Kairi."

"What do you mean?" She demanded.

"Kairi, what they did to him…imagine what Terra and I went through and then multiply it by millions. He's struggling to accept that I want to be in the same room as him most of the time. He'll never be the old Sora again, not fully. There's too many scars, mental, emotional…and physical. If you saw what they did to him. The Doctor here did his best but they're cut off from home so he just didn't have access to everything needed. I saw what Sora looked like before they rescued him in some of his Nightmares…I didn't recognise him at all."

She pressed a hand to her mouth, tears glistening in her eyes. "But they helped him?"

"Yeah, they saved him and have been helping him re-learn how to be a person. Without his memories…well, they were doing a great job, he's really become part of the crew."

"Riku…are you saying…he wants to stay?"

"He can't live on the Islands, almost all of the Worlds. His body was altered with implants, technology. I suggested a Replica but…I think we all know it probably wouldn't work, after several years his Heart…"

"Would see this as who he is now," she whispered sadly. "What's going to happen?"

"I want to bring him to the Land of Departure, I talked to Terra about it. It'd be the least pressure to be how people remember him, no civilians to freak out."

"And Terra can help him with what happened to him. What about Ven and Roxas?"

"Right now I think maybe Ven would be more help," he admitted. "If he agrees to come, Kairi," he hesitated, and she nodded sadly.

"I'll head Twilight Town unless you call and say to come back," she promised. "Can you at least get him to talk to me this way…or send a picture so I can see him for myself?"

"I'll try. Things here are a bit chaotic, they just fought off an attacking force that took control of the ship for a few weeks. Sora of course is the one who stopped them," he didn't tell her how. "They're in desperate need of safe haven and supplies. They want to go home, but I want to see if we can help them somehow. I'm going to see if they'll agree to my sending the various ship builders information on the ship, see if it could make the trip back. That would give them safe Worlds to resupply, rest, fix the ship… then see if a whole group of Keyblade Masters can't guide them home."

"It's the least we could do for what they've done for Sora," she agreed immediately. "Even if the ship can't make it, we can follow you with supplies and willing bodies to help."

He smiled at her, proud of how willing she was to help total strangers. "I love you."

"I love you too," she kissed her fingers and pressed them to the screen.

"Sora knows," he admitted. "I didn't mean to…I wanted him to have plenty of time to work things out before telling him, but his Nightmare…it was the first time in Hollow Bastion, when I took the Keyblade. He can't use magic or a Keyblade, even in his dreams. And my Dream Eater powers have changed…I beat the Nightmare and then… I kissed him. I told him everything and he was trying to deny it, because he thinks he's…"

"A monster?" she asked, and he nodded.

"I told him he can't hide behind what was done to him, but I'm not sure he believed me."

"You'll get through to him, I know you will. Just don't rush him."

"I won't, promise. And I'll call again soon."

"You better! Aqua's almost done with my armour, don't make me chase you boys down." She glared and he nodded, making her laugh.

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Kairi hung up and collapsed onto her bed, muffling the sobs. Oh Sora… she wanted so badly to follow through on her threat and go after them…but she couldn't. If Sora was struggling with just Riku there then her showing up could make things so much worse for him. She hated having to sit on the sidelines! It was like the past all over again.

"Kairi? Are you alright?"

She looked over at the door where Aqua was standing, looking at her in concern. "Sora, he…he remembers. He'd locked his memory away, Riku unlocked it."

"That's wonderful news," Aqua smiled.

"He doesn't want to see me," she admitted, hugging her knees to her chest.

"What?" Aqua was obviously surprised by that.

"Silly Sora," she whispered.

"Ah, guilt?" They were all used to that from Terra after all.

Kairi nodded. "Riku said he's different, that the Doctor there did what he could, but he couldn't undo everything that was done to him. He's going to try and get Sora to at least see me on the phone or let Riku take a picture."

"That would be a start," Aqua agreed, sitting beside her.

"I miss them so much."

"I know," Aqua wrapped an arm around her shoulders and Kairi leant into the older woman, accepting the comfort. If anyone would understand, it was Aqua who had spent a decade alone in the Darkness looking for her own boys, not that she saw Ventus the way Kairi saw her boys.

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B'Elanna looked up as Sora walked into engineering, immediately seeing something different about him. He saw her and walked towards her and she realised he was moving slightly differently, not holding himself quite as still and rigid like both ex-Borg tended to. She knew of the plan to attempt to return his memories…had it worked?

He saw her watching and offered a small, tentative smile. "I thought I was still off duty?"

B'Elanna nodded. "You are," she agreed. "Did it work? Do you remember?" she asked. It was the only reason she could think of for the subtle changes in him she could see.

He stared at her. "Is it that obvious?" he asked.

"You're holding yourself differently," she admitted.

"Oh," he blinked. "I didn't realise."

"And you're using contractions," she smirked at him before motioning to a console and Sora moved to look. "You altered the transporters to remove the Hirogen. I need the details."

"Of course," he agreed and went to work.

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It was easy enough to lose himself in the work, easier than thinking about what Riku had told him anyway. But it only took him two hours to finish and be dismissed and then he hesitated, unsure what to do. He should go back to Riku, but he didn't feel ready to yet. His wandering feet led him to Sickbay and he stared in confusion before entering.

"Hello Sora, did you need something?" the Doctor asked.

He hesitated, why had he come?

"Sora? Is something wrong?"

"Riku kissed me," he blurted out.

That definitely got the Doctor's attention. "Did you want him to?"

"it was in my dream. It was real, not a dream version of Riku…he was there, fighting Nightmares and helping my memories settle further. In Dreams things are different, it's harder not to just do things. He…he said he loves me, that Kairi loves me too. I don't…I cannot…"

"Breath Sora," the Doctor told him firmly, and Sora sucked in a breath. "Good. Now let's go into the office and talk."

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So it appeared they had not previously been in a relationship as he had suspected was possible. From what he had observed, he believed that if Sora had not been Assimilated then they likely would have been. It seemed he may need that research. Sora panicking over it was not so surprising with how he had been dealing with what he had done as a Drone. He got the boy sitting by the desk and then returned with a cup of tea for him.

"Now, let's see if I understand. Riku entered your dreams to help you with sorting your memories back into place and was fighting Nightmares?" he asked, and Sora nodded. "When the fight was done he kissed you and then told you he loves you and that your mutual friend Kairi loves you as well." That got another nod. "And did he indicate how they feel about each other?"

"Kairi kissed him but he said they haven't done more than that. That…that they were waiting to find me. I remember sharing a Paopu fruit with Kairi before the last fight, that we wanted to share it with him too, but he was dealing with something else."

"Paopu fruit?" he asked, it was not a plant he knew.

"It's a star shaped fruit native to home. There is even a legend, if two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain a part of each other's lives no matter what," Sora recited.

"I see," that was a sweet legend. That they wanted to share between the three of them meant there had been something between them. "And how does knowing they love you make you feel?"

"It does not matter," Sora denied.

"Why not?"

Sora just stared at him as if he was being rather slow.

"It is rather obvious that what has happened to you has not affected Riku's feelings for you. He…hasn't pushed you, has he?" that was a concern, although the young man seemed more sensible than that.

Sora shook his head. "He said he hadn't planned to say anything, because I need time to adjust. He said no matter what I chose, he will always be with me, because we are best friends."

Good, he would be very disappointed in Riku if he was trying to push Sora into something he obviously wasn't ready for. He wished they had a true councillor aboard, Vulcan courting methods would be of no help and he could only give advice from information in the databanks.

"So why doesn't it matter if you return their feelings?"

"Because of what I am now."

"Sora, you are no longer a Borg Drone. I understand it may be difficult with the implants that suppress strong emotion, but that does not mean you don't feel. While I would not suggest a physical relationship beyond kissing until I can do some more research, you are capable of an emotional and intellectual one. And you deserve to be happy."

He could tell Sora wanted to deny that, but the boy wisely remained silent. He would need to speak with Tuvok about Sora's guilt issues, see if more could be done to help him. He did not wish to treat him chemically, for the moment there was no need to but if he began falling into depression that may change.

"Have you considered returning to any of the worlds you know to see old friends?" he suggested.

"I need to Regenerate," Sora stated.

"True, but I am sure that some way to do so without an alcove could be created, especially if it was only a temporary method."

"You mean I could go and then come back?"

"Of course, you are part of the crew Sora."

"I will speak with Lieutenant Torres and Seven about how it could be done if you'd like?"

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He had thought he had to stay permanently on Voyager or back home but if he could come and go then maybe….maybe he could go back for a visit? Not home, it was better for his Mother to think he was dead. Could he really face any of them again? Now that he remembered, he missed them all. In the end he nodded and then retreated back to his quarters, not quite ready to face Riku.

TBC…

So Riku may have messed up and confused poor Sora before he was ready to hear that.