Chapter 4: Broken

That back door was thankfully unlocked and unguarded, giving us all a potential way out of this hellhole. It led us out into another small hallway. To our left was a door, to the right, a longer hallway. Which way was better to go? Anders made a decision quickly, opening the door on the left. We had to check every option, right? Surely, we'd find safe passage through eventually.

Well…he opened a door to a dead-end room full of rubble, crystal, and more of those red lyrium veins sprouting everywhere…plus more golems and Shades. They turned to us as soon as the stone door swung open, making menacing ethereal noises at us like vicious ghosts from across the room. There were very brief glances exchanged between them before they all charged into the room, intercepting the beasts before they came out into the close-quarters hallway and gave us no room to fight.

"Stay here, Naela!"

As directed, I stayed out of the fight, waiting outside of the room for them to blast, slice, and shoot their way to victory. Fireballs were raining everywhere, hails of arrows came down on their heads, all while Hawke and Fenris were cutting through their numbers with little effort. It was all well-practiced, like they had done this so many times together already. They worked together well. There was blood everywhere, very little of it belonging to my companions. The cloaked ghosts and the rock beasts were dropping like flies all around the room with their combined efforts.

No sooner had they almost finished dealing with the monsters IN the room, I turned around to find three more Shades had joined the party, appearing behind me. I went dashing into the room to get out of the way of the oncoming beasts, narrowly avoiding getting clawed by the ghostly terrors sneaking up behind me. How had I been so careless?!

Anders covered my escape with a blast of ice, letting the makeshift wall cover the door while he pulled me behind him protectively. Having to be tugged and yanked along like a rag doll for my own safety was…getting a bit annoying, I had to admit.

"That's not going to hold them for long!"

There was still one of the bigger golems left in the room, and Fenris was in the middle of blocking one of the massive fists with his blade while Hawke was coming at it from behind with her daggers.

"We're a bit busy here, mage! Deal with the problem!"

The ice was starting to crack! Oh boy! Here comes trouble!

"Varric, give me a hand!"

"Got you covered!"

As soon as the ice wall went down, a barrage of arrows and a blast of a fireball went sailing through the doorway, obliterating the Shades while the golem behind us fell apart from the relentless onslaught of blades. Several more tried slipping into the room after their brothers fell, but the party regrouped and kept them out, Fenris in the front to hold them off and everyone else was in the back, slinging magic, arrows and knives as projectiles over his head to blast them into tiny pieces. It was a miracle that he didn't get his hair singed, that last fireball was too close for comfort.

I breathed a sigh of relief, shaking my head while I dusted myself off. This was NOT what I had signed up for! I came here to help Hawke, not get obliterated by the forces of darkness after the expedition leader left us for dead!

"THAT…was too close for comfort…!"

"You nearly got yourself killed. The dwarf said to stay close!"

"Stay back, stay close! You are going to have to pick one and stick with it!"

"Fenris, leave her be. It isn't like this is a situation she deals with every day, like we do."

"She certainly gets into enough trouble to know better, Hawke…"

My urge to deck Fenris right in his jaw was definitely increasing the more he ticked me off. Everybody else was already moving to leave while the two of us were bickering and glaring at each other. I stomped right after them, hurrying to catch up while Fenris took up the rear side of the party. Well, clearly that had been the wrong direction to go, so now we were going to the right hallway and heading through.

The hallway veered off to the left, opening into a massive chamber full of more crystal with a stairway on the left and right leading down onto the main floor. More of the grotesque one-eyed Shades were waiting for us on the stairs and in the ruins of the chamber. Once again, I had to sit back and wait for everyone else to do the skull bashing while I just watched. I was absolutely useless to them, really. I wasn't actually useless…but I had to feign that I was.

This isn't fair to them…you know it isn't…

…I have no choice, I can't fight…

There is always a choice. Always being the coward…

I'm protecting our asses here. I can't do it…

The exit only held more surprises for us: rock wraiths. Those were supposed to be just a dwarven legend, but here they were, blocking the exit. Thankfully, a few well-placed fireballs were enough to shatter them before they caused any real harm. While I was busy with my internal struggle and yelling at the pesky little voice in the back of my mind, Varric was swearing up a storm. Meanwhile, the party was moving to head out of the room.

"Bloody flames! What were those things?"

Well…he should have known the answer to that already. Then again, this thaig was a lot older than they suspected, and none of this was recognizable. I sighed, heading down the stairs to follow the group to the ground floor of the chamber and through the small hallway that led us out. Hallways, hallways, hallways! It led us to yet another long hallway on the left with Shades and rock wraiths blocking our way and a pocket of Shades at the dead-end to our right. Even better, a pack of Shades were coming up behind us!

Hawke pulled me behind her while Anders set up ice walls to block off the back and left hallways so we could take a second to deal with the small force on the right. Hawke ended up pulling the two of us against the only secure wall while the monsters were taken down one by one, the situation carefully controlled by Anders's ice wall and some of Hawke's smoke bombs when cover was needed to create brief moments of opportunity to take down the bigger foes. It was absolute chaos, but the group was handling it well.

The end of the hallway had another door, but this area was different. Most of the floor was gone, perhaps a bridge at some point? It was still intact, but whatever stonework made up the ground was ruined, leaving nothing but dirt and rocks, and empty air on either side of this walkway, the area mysteriously drenched in fog. Only a few jagged stalagmites filled up the empty space, hinting at a potentially dangerous fall if one wasn't careful. The stone archways adorning the passage were still intact, but the red lyrium veins were growing around them, like much of this entire thaig. Thankfully, their energy was weak, meaning I wasn't feeling sickly from them.

More Shades were covering this bridge, so once again I had to step back and watch as everyone else charged into the fray. I was observantly watching the fight, making sure everything was going as smoothly as possible.

Our luck couldn't last, not with how much the universe likes to screw people. Once the Shades were dealt with, two more rock wraiths came stomping forward at their slow gait. Fenris dashed forward with his two-handed sword, aiming to cut one of the beasts down. A pointed rock acting as the wraith's 'arm' was coming down to slam into the bridge's delicate surface along the crumbling, weak edges. Had Fenris not noticed?! He had put himself into mortal danger because of his lack of attention to his surroundings!

I knew exactly what was going to happen. Fenris was going to fall to his potential death once the rock wraith smashed into the bridge and broke it. He was going to die if I didn't do something.

The world was moving in slow motion as I went running forward without thinking.

"FENRIS!"

The stone fist collided with the bridge, the ground underneath of the elf crackling and crumbling until I saw him falling into the darkness. I hit the bridge quickly, dropping to the ground and sliding across the rough surface and scraping up my legs as I too slipped over the side. I barely managed to grab his hand with one of mine and then grab hold of the last little scraps of the bridge's edge just in the nick of time. I definitely pulled something in the process of catching a man that size, but at least he wasn't a pancake at the bottom of this strange place.

"I've got you, hang on! I'll pull you up!"

"Are you crazy?! You're going to get yourself killed! I'm too heavy for you, you'll fall! Let me go!"

"I won't!"

He was safe…just for a second though. No sooner had Fenris given his warning, I saw his eyes widen in surprise as he stared at something behind me. His look prompted me to turn my head and look back up at the bridge. The wraith was upon us, his jagged rock fist coming down upon my own hand, the lifeline keeping us tumbling into the abyss. Blood sprayed, bones cracked, and I let go of the bridge when I lost my grip with my freshly injured hand. The panicked screams of our comrades rang in my ears as we fell.

Empty air. That was all I was feeling as the pair of us tumbled into darkness. I made another split-second decision, pulling myself to Fenris's torso and gripping him tightly, making sure I was the one facing the ground and not him. I'm small, but I can at least protect his head, neck and torso; his most vital parts. I'd hit the ground first when we finally collided with whatever was below. As long as we didn't hit a stalagmite and impale ourselves, he'd be a lot safer than I was.

I could have saved myself. I could have let him fall in the first place; I could have let him go and pulled myself up before the wraith came at me. I could have done a lot of things…but sometimes the most difficult thing is the right thing to do. Sure, maybe I couldn't be a hero and fight the monsters because of some silly code I was still clinging to. But…there were still a few lives I could save, even if it was going to hurt.

And this…was going to hurt. A lot.

…..

I felt sick. I felt tired. My body…I could tell it was bad from how much pain I was in. There was a heavy ache all over, like an unseen pressure coming at me from all sides, constricting me. That much pain, I could handle. Most of my arm felt like it was in tatters, like it was ready to just fall off any second. I was sure that I would have lost that hand for real if it wasn't for my regenerative abilities. My back and sides were the worst pains, and the rampaging headache throbbing behind my eyes was a good indication my skull had taken a beating. I could tell my ribs were cracked, if they weren't completely broken. I'd have to actually move to find out.

Still…I was alive. I was still debating if that was a good thing or not.

It was so hard for me to breathe, but I discovered the reason why very quickly. There as a heavy weight on top of me, the familiar feel of cold steel pressing against my skin.

…Right. That was probably Fenris. Had he survived the fall!? Was he okay?! If he died anyway…this would have all been for nothing!

It was a struggle to get up. My injured hand was useless, and I'd clearly pulled some muscles in the rest of my arm from catching him and trying to hold him up. I simply let it hang at my side to try and regenerate while I carefully rolled Fenris off of me and onto his back on the floor beside me. I had to make sure that he was still alive!

…He was still breathing from the rise and fall of his chest, and there was a pulse when I searched for it at his neck. Good. I couldn't tell if he'd been injured in the fall or what. There was too much armor in the way, and I wasn't about to waste time stripping him down to check. He was in one piece and he wasn't bleeding everywhere, so he should have been okay…right? I was never very good with this medical crap.

The next part was going to be the real struggle. He seemed to be out cold, and I had no idea where we were. How far had we fallen? I looked up, but there was nothing except for endless pitch black. The sounds of battle were long gone. It looked like we were still in the ruins of the thaig, just…a lot farther down. Everything was a lot less preserved down here. Everything around me was similar to the architecture from above, just…crumbling. Ruined. More what you would expect from this underground hellhole. From here, there was no telling which way was the correct way. Endless doors and hallways were clear to see from where I sat. A maze like this was going to take an eternity to find our way out of!

I sighed, steeling myself and raising up onto my feet. It wasn't without difficulty, but I managed. Sitting around and staring at everything wasn't going to get us out of here. I had to save Fenris, at the very least. As much as I disliked him for how…unpleasant he had been, he was still looking out for me. It was about time I returned the favor; don't you think?

With much effort, I pulled Fenris off of the ground as carefully as possible. Having only one usable arm wasn't really making this any easier. He was a much taller and broader figure than me, I'm terribly tiny even for an elf. I had to hold him against me with my good arm, while the other painfully kept one of his arms slung around my shoulders so I could carry his weight. I was pushing my physical limits with my injuries, and well aware of that. Still, it was going to be slow going if I had to do everything with one arm. We didn't have the luxury of wasting time with a lack of supplies and untreated wounds.

"…You'd better not die. Hawke still needs you. I bet…she is looking for us, right now…gods, you're heavy…! Is this your armor, or are you just that bulky underneath?! You definitely don't look like you weigh this much, you gangly ass…"

Why the hell am I talking to an unconscious person? It's not like he can even hear me. Well…I suppose it was helping to pass the time while I walked. I was going to have to try to work through this maze and find the way back up to the group, or perhaps escape this hell entirely. Whichever came first. Hopefully, the others were all right…

…..

How long had I been walking? Minutes, hours. Felt like days, honestly. The hallways and corridors were absolutely endless. I'd lost count of how many dead ends I'd run into and had to backtrack to find another way out. My body was aching the more I walked, and Fenris's added weight wasn't helping. Still, I pressed on, even as exhaustion sunk in and my vision got blurry.

I don't know when I blacked out. I must have at some point, because I was waking up with no recollection of ever falling asleep. There was this…rocking motion. I was swaying back and forth. It was making me feel sick. I didn't even want to open my eyes, I just wanted to go back to the painless bliss that is sleep, but I couldn't. A shifting motion made me groan; my ribs were burning from the movement. I just wanted to get away and find some dark corner to go be miserable in, but somebody wasn't going to let me get far.

"…Stop squirming, or I'm going to drop you."

Fenris?

Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I finally cracked them open. Well, now I know where the swaying motion is coming from. He had me situated on his back while he continued walking through the maze that was the thaig. So far, it looked like he had made considerably more progress than I did. Tight corridors were changing into grand hallways and rooms that I hoped we had seen before. Whereas I had been hopelessly lost, Fenris had found the way. Some heroine I was!

"…You've been unconscious for quite some time. I couldn't wake you."

I guess I did pass out. My body had reached its limits. Shouldn't I have recovered at least a little bit by now?! Perhaps it was the exposure to the red lyrium. It was very rare for me to have run-ins with the substance, but it always affected me in negative ways. No matter, I needed to push on. Giving up and letting myself die here would be unforgiveable.

"…Put me down, I'll walk…you need your arms in case we run into darkspawn…"

That certainly didn't come out very imposing. My throat was terribly dry, it came out like a frog croak instead of actual speech. Fenris just scoffed at me and shook his head.

"You're not walking. We both just fell from an incredible height and survived. Besides getting the wind knocked out of me, I've only got some bruises. You, however, are not. You broke my fall. Somehow, you're still breathing. By all rights, you should be dead just from the impact to your skull. Even then, you were trying to drag me around. You are clearly suicidal."

"…But…"

"If we run into trouble, then I'll put you down. Until then, you're not going anywhere with those injuries. I lost count of how many rib bones you broke, let alone your whole body. You just about dislocated your shoulder trying to catch me."

Had he actually checked me over? I wasn't aware that he had some first aid skills. Oh! Only when he mentioned something did I notice that my left arm with the shattered hand was put into a makeshift sling out of ripped fabric. He must have popped my shoulder back into place while I was out. I was surprised even that didn't wake me before. I must have been completely out of it.

"…Fenris, I'm just going to slow you down if you have to carry me. Face it, this isn't the safest option…"

I think he was getting tired of my protests. He grumbled under his breath and repositioned his grip on me rather suddenly, making me groan quietly.

"…Would you give it a rest? I'm not leaving here without you. You already get yourself into enough trouble all on your own as it is. As much as I dislike babysitting you, Hawke would only blame herself if you got killed on this expedition because she insisted on you coming along."

"As far as I recall, you blackmailed me into coming, Fenris."

"Only because of Hawke's soft heart."

"You really are devoted to her, aren't you?"

"I owe her a debt I cannot hope to repay."

"…What kind of debt? I know Hawke is the helpful sort. You seem like you can handle yourself."

"…Hawke and her companions helped me out of a tough spot. They took on at least a dozen Tevinter slavers that were after me. I could not even hope to have faced that many alone."

"Slavers were chasing you?"

"They were being paid to return a magister's lost property…namely, myself."

"…So, you're an escaped slave? I'm…sorry, Fenris."

No wonder he seemed to have such a terrible hatred for mages. Tevinter magisters did anything in the name of power, even resorting to blood magic to get the upper hand on each other. Slavery was common in Tevinter, whereas the rest of the world had outlawed it. Slavers were still rampant in the Free Marches, however, kidnapping people against their will and smuggling them out to Tevinter to sell them.

Maybe I had been judging him too harshly as of late. He…understood. Constantly running, just to keep your life and freedom. I could relate to this strange elf, all things considered.

"…You are apologizing. Why? I am in no need of your pity, nor do I want it."

"…In the past, I have judged you too harshly for your hatred of magic and your…paranoid attitude. Now I can understand why you are…. the way you are. I do not pity you. It takes great courage to step away from slavery and to find your freedom. Some slaves never wish for freedom, because they have never known anything else. It's…easier. To have someone else think for you…to just do what you're told. Even after you've discovered the taste of a free world, you have to fight to keep it…"

I shook my head of my musings, glancing over at the nearest wall to distract and recompose myself.

"…Sorry, I'm just rambling without thought. You must be considered quite valuable to have him chase you so relentlessly."

"He doesn't want me, just the markings on my skin."

"…I always wanted to ask about them, but you aren't very…approachable."

In this time and place, for some reason, it was just a lot easier to converse with him. I suppose surviving a near-death experience can do that to people. It was helping to pass the time, as well. For once, I actually heard Fenris laughing at me and my little jab.

"…I suppose not. Being with Hawke and the others is the first time I've really…had people to rely on."

"You two sound like you're practically lovers."

"…We are not. Hawke's interest is with the abomination."

"…You mean Anders. Why don't you like him? He seems to be all right, for a mage."

"You have yet to meet the spirit that possesses him. Once you see it for yourself, you will understand."

"…Is it really that bad? I thought this spirit was…"

"…What the mage said isn't the FULL story. Maybe it was a benevolent spirit once…but no longer. Not since it possessed him. It's corrupt and violent now."

Things lapsed into silence after that, for a time. There was nothing but the sound of our footsteps echoing through the halls for a long time before he finally spoke up again.

"…You wanted to ask…about the markings. They are lyrium, burned into my flesh."

"So, that's how you phase through objects. Was it done willingly, or did your former master force it upon you?"

"…I would tell you, if I could remember. Everything from before the markings…whatever ritual was used caused me great pain and wiped every memory away. Not even my name is my own. Fenris is a name that my former master gave to me."

"…That's…got to be rough…to not remember things. To not know yourself…from before."

His words struck at my very core. It was almost like looking into a mirror. There were a few similarities there that I could see, plain as day. Though he wasn't aware of it…I understood him more than I thought I did.

"…I hope you get those memories back someday, Fenris. I really do…"

Things lapsed into silence again as Fenris seemed to be musing over something. I sighed, gently closing my eyes again. My body was screaming at me to get more rest, take advantage of the peace and quiet for now. I really needed to take the time to recover, but the universe was going to fuck us over again and refuse my simple request once again. I could faintly pick up the sounds in the distance. Footsteps…lots of them. Rushed. Darkspawn? Very likely.

"…You hear that?"

"…I hear nothing…wait. Now I hear it…"

"…Could it be the darkspawn? That sounds like too many people for it to be the others, or even the rest of the expedition. Their footsteps are moving too fast…"

"…You think you can walk for a little while?"

"I'll be fine. I'd rather you have your sword arm ready."

He was already moving to carefully put me down, making sure I could stand reasonably upright before he drew that massive greatsword in preparation. Sure, we were going to do our best to avoid the horde, but we had to be ready for any stragglers, or if our escape plans failed and they found us.

The name of the game was to move quickly and quietly, which I was doing neither. Even with a good chunk of sleep under my belt, I wasn't feeling any improvement. If anything, I felt worse than I did before I fell asleep. While Fenris was moving with some difficulty, he was still shrugging it off like a true warrior and moving so confidently. I was just…waddling behind him like a wounded goose. I could hear the footsteps, growing closer…we weren't moving fast enough. I wasn't moving fast enough. Fenris could have bolted out of here so easily if he wasn't trying to wait on me. Why didn't this imbecile just leave me behind?!

"Fenris…! They're catching up…!"

"…This way, come on!"

He practically gripped my hand like a vice and suddenly tugged me around a corner, half-dragging me behind him as we both ducked into the closest archway to try to find a safer location. There had to be a door out of here, right?! RIGHT?! This was not the time for us to be terribly lost! Thankfully, this room had another door with a long staircase. Another floor up? There was no way that every single one of them was going to be able to follow us up here…right?

It was a delightful blessing to hear their thundering footsteps fading out of my range of hearing as I stumbled along behind Fenris. I was seriously pushing my limits again, but it was the only thing I could do to avoid being a burden to him. I almost fell to my knees a few times, but Fenris tugged me right back up every time I started wobbling. I wasn't going to complain; giving into weakness would be the death of us both.

I don't know how many rooms we went stumbling through, but just when we thought we were safe…the thundering sound echoed through the halls again. This time, I could practically feel the ground shaking below me. That…was big. Very big.

"…Fenris…!"

BOOM!

Rubble and dust particles went flying everywhere as the wall in our current location came crumbling down thanks to the giant mass of darkspawn flesh that just came ramming through. With the massive size of the thing and misshapen face, it was obvious that we had just been 'greeted' by a very unhappy ogre darkspawn.

Most common darkspawn simply appear to have humanoid bodies with skeleton faces, but ogres were completely different. Take a man and make him as tall as a house, give him a shortened lower jaw with massive teeth and a scrunched-up nose, then stretch his skull out to have intricate thick horns, and you've got yourself an ogre. Even fighting an army of faceless ghost-like Shades would have been better than this guy. It would have been nice if he'd just…went smashing through another wall and went about his day, but no. The darkspawn were hell-bent on destroying all life indiscriminately. As soon as he had his sights set on us, I knew a battle was inevitable.

"Stay behind me!"

"No, we need to run…!"

"We can't outrun this one!"

…Why do the gods hate me so!? WHY!?