All characters from Divergent belong to Veronica Roth as well as all characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing except my version of events.

A/N: So I've got some not so great news for you guys. Unfortunately I won't be uploading this following week for personal reasons but fear not, I should be back on July 6th with a new chapter. If anything changes I will let you know through updates on my profile. Anyway, thank you for your patience and understanding.

Much love, S.

Chapter 6 Comfort

I wasn't quite sure what I was dreaming exactly. It was too dark to see, plunged into a never ending darkness that pulled me from anywhere they could get a grasp on and yet I couldn't see a thing. Not my hands, body, nor any of my surroundings. As if I existed in a place that had no physical entity, but if it didn't… then why did those hands feel so real?

"Bella!"

His worried voice penetrated the haze of darkness, pulling me back to the real world. My heart beating so fast I thought it would literally burst out of my chest. It took me a moment to realize this wasn't entirely just a dream, feeling his firm grip on my shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you but you weren't waking up and I panicked." A quiet voice whispered. I could barely see the outline of his form from the light streaming through my hospital room's door. "Fuck, Bella." Tobias exhaled, moving forward to pull me fully into his arms. He tucked his face into my neck taking a deep breath as if that alone would reassure him of my existence still on earth.

"I know." I whispered, embracing him just as fiercely and taking comfort in the one person I knew truly cared about me. I knew he'd been scared, I'd seen it at the wall. The overwhelming panic he'd tried so desperately to suppress, but it was all coming out now as I felt his body start to shake with emotion.

"When I saw you dangling off the side…" he started, choking on the emotion in his voice. "It's the fastest I've ever run, but I was so far away… I was completely useless. If it hadn't been for your friends…" he trailed off, terrified to finish his thoughts.

"I know." I whispered again. "I still can't believe it happened."

He pulled away to take a look at me more closely. Now that my vision had adjusted from being asleep I could now see his face a bit more clearly. "Are you ok?" He finally asked.

"All things considered, yes. They took x-rays and I just have a sprain, it's still swollen and the bruising caused by Marlene's grip isn't helping. I'm heavily medicated right now, it's why they wanted to keep me overnight and hooked up to these." I said, lifting my hand and showing him the tubes sticking out of my arm. It's also probably why I was having nightmares and it was taking me forever to wake up just now.

He gently took hold of my arm, his fingers lightly following the trail of tubes in quiet contemplation. "I'm sorry, Bell." He said quietly.

"What for?"

"I was supposed to protect you. I promised you that I would. That I would make your transition here to Dauntless easier than it had been for me and I'm failing miserably. Someone tried to kill you and I wasn't even close enough to stop it." He said, his voice not just cracking with emotion but sounding completely defeated.

"Hey." I whispered, laying a hand on his cheek and feeling it lightly damp. It absolutely broke my heart to watch him like this. "I love you, Tassy, and none of this was your fault nor are you failing at anything. We both knew initiation would be hard. There's only so much you can do to protect me and it's not like either one of us was aware of the fact that Marlene was a psychopath. You're doing the best you can with the limited resources you have and that's more than enough. You've already sacrificed so much for me and I'm not necessarily helping either. If I wouldn't have let my pride win, I would have lost like I was supposed to and Marlene wouldn't have tried to kill me. If it's anyone's fault, it's only my own." I pulled him towards me, kissing him on his forehead before wrapping my arms around him again just wanting to comfort him and reassure him that everything was ok.

"I love you, Bell, more than anyone in this world." He whispered into my ear.

I smiled into his neck. If only he knew having his love was enough for me. I've never needed him to be anything other than what he was. Whether he protected me or not it had little to do with how I felt about him. I've only ever loved three people in my life, I might not have my parents physically with me anymore but I still had Tobias. Technically he was now the only family I had left too.

"Let's stop wasting our limited time together talking about this anymore. It happened and I'm still here. I know you have to leave soon before they catch you here with me." I said instead, trying to distract him.

"You're right." He agreed firmly, sniffing lightly to shut away his emotions like he usually did. I was sure he was only saving it to dwell on it later when he was alone. It was why whenever something life altering happened I would never leave his side, pushing him to stay out of that dark cloud above his head. Unfortunately still being an initiate with no form of freedom would prevent me from doing that now, especially with what happened earlier. "Tell me how it went with Eric." He requested instead.

Aw crap, why did he have to ask about that?

"Uh, nothing really… he just stood there looking angry as hell until the doctor arrived and then he left."

"That's all?" He asked, sounding surprised.

Definitely not. "Yeah." I said instead, "What else did you expect him to do? It's not like he cares what happens to me."

"Yeah I guess you're right, though I'm surprised he'd looked so angry when we initially arrived from the fence." He wondered seriously.

"Probably over the fact that he'd had no control over what happened. He seems like the kind of guy that needs that."

"He is but he's also insane… I would've thought he'd be happy over the fact that our initiates are actively trying to kill each other for the number one spot."

"That's true, but maybe Max wouldn't be too happy about losing initiates so soon in the game, especially if he wants his pick of the pool. It kind of takes the point away from the new initiation rules if everyone goes around killing each other off, don't you think?"

He watched me in thought, surprised over my deductions, but he shook it off with a smile only to agree with me. "Definitely… Max has even requested to speak with the instructors tomorrow before training. I have a feeling it's not going to go well… from what I've heard it appears that the Amity who were farming at the time have spoken to their leader, Joanna. I'm sure by morning all factions will know about the incident… if they haven't heard it already and it's not a good look for Dauntless." He spoke with such a serious tone I knew he was worried. I only hoped Max wouldn't encourage Eric's threat from earlier and replace our current instructors.

"Let's just hope it doesn't go any further."

"Yeah." He said shortly, releasing an emotionally exhausted breath. He reached for me again, caressing the side of my face just to keep our connection alive. "Will you go back to training tomorrow?"

I smiled at his worry, even if my doctor told me to stay for another day I was already planning my refusal. "Nothing can keep me away. I have to be there. Felix, the guy who reached for me first told me that James has his eyes on me. If that's true, now is not the time to show any weakness."

"What!" He exclaimed a bit loudly. On instinct I covered his mouth and we both stilled, waiting to see if anyone had heard him. We released the tension from our bodies when we detected no movement outside of my room.

"Tobias." I hissed lowly.

On his part he did look ashamed at his mistake. "Sorry. You just caught me off guard."

I rolled my eyes but grasped onto his hand. "I know but you don't have to worry. I can handle him and I have friends to protect me. After what happened at the wall now I know I can trust them completely." I've actually thought about that a lot, especially Felix. He didn't know me at all, he could have easily watched me fall to my death without feeling an ounce of remorse but he saved me anyway. He went out of his way to help me and that meant a lot.

"I'm glad you finally made other friends, Bella. I'm proud of you, you know."

I smiled at him already knowing he'd been thrilled since the beginning. I knew him better than he thought. "Thank you and I'm proud of it too." I said with a small giggle.

He smiled but looked saddened again as he spoke his next words. "I hate to say this but I have to go. I've been here too long and I'm sure the nurses will come in to check on you soon. I love you, Bell." He said in parting, squeezing my hand tightly in his.

"I love you too, Tassy. I'll see you tomorrow."

He smiled, placing a loving kiss on my forehead before retreating and disappearing back into the hallway from where he'd once came from.

I sighed in exhaustion, I was still feeling drowsy from all the medication I was receiving. I was sure if Tobias hadn't scared me awake I would have never woken up but I was glad to have had the opportunity to speak to him after what happened. I had to admit it settled my mind and heart having him here to show his love for me after what happened. It also didn't skip my notice how once again I had to comfort him instead of the other way around. Not that I minded in the slightest, if anything I was so used to it that it helped calm me even further. Bringing me the peace he always did when he was so open and vulnerable with me.

I settled back into bed and let my body relax once again, allowing the medication to do it's work and send me to sleep land once more.

I walked confidently into the food hall the next morning not letting the whispers at my arrival bother me in the slightest. I refused to limp, though I really wanted to. Esme had tried to convince me to stay in the infirmary for another day for more medication to further reduce the swelling in my ankle but I refused. I told her I couldn't afford to miss a day of training and she acquiesced by providing me with oral medication instead and wrapping my ankle before leaving.

I grabbed my tray and made it to my usual table, my friends standing up at my arrival and embracing me tightly. None of them were ashamed to show their feelings for me and that somehow made me love them even more. It was crazy to think that I considered them my friends and had come to love them so soon since meeting them. Even Felix had stood up and hugged me to him, surprising not only me but my friends too.

"I'm so glad you're ok, Bella, we were planning to go investigate what happened to you before training this morning. We were so scared after what happened at the fence and that Eric had taken you with the other instructors. I swear we were getting ready to revolt if they had decided to punish you for what happened." Alice said frantically without even catching a breath. "Did he believe you?"

I smiled as I watched her worried expression and pulled away from her to take a seat. "Yeah, though Rosalie really tried to throw me under the bus. She made it sound like I was the one who pushed Marlene off the wall. I honestly don't know what's her problem... I wasn't even aware that she had a problem with me to begin with, much like Marlene I guess. Though I hope she doesn't try to get rid of me like the last one." I said in thought, and I really meant it. I always thought of myself as an observer and now finding out that I hadn't been aware of Marlene's deadly jealousy and Rosalie's dislike towards me made me worry that I wasn't as aware as I should be. "Anyway, Four and Jacob came to my defense and tried to discredit Rosalie's claims. Lucky for me Eric believed them and not her. He was more pissed that our instructors had lost control over us than anything else."

"That's good." Uriah spoke up, "I mean not that he's mad at our instructors but that Eric believed you and didn't hold you responsible for what happened."

Jared had sat quietly observing me but finally spoke with worry in his tone. "Are you sure you're up for practice, Bella?" He asked, worrying his lip over my well-being.

I smiled at him, letting him know I appreciated his worry for me. "I'm good, the doctor gave me some anti-inflammatories to reduce the swelling on my ankle. I look worse than I feel, it's just my really pale skin that bruises easily that's making my injuries look worse. But I'm fine guys, really."

They all nodded and waited for me to finish my breakfast. Alice was kind enough to get me a water so I could take my medication and we headed for the training room early as always. I didn't miss the looks I continuously received as I walked by. Even Dauntless members stared as they passed. I guess Tobias had been right, word was spreading like wildfire and I worried how that would affect me and our training class.

I grew worried when the clock alerted us to the start of yet another training day but not a single one of our instructors were present.

"This cannot be good." Alice muttered by my side, shifting from foot to foot in anxious anticipation.

"Where do you think they are?" Asked Felix, crossing his arms over his chest as he glanced at the empty entrance.

Suddenly my conversation with Tobias last night hit me like lightning and I remembered our Dauntless leader Max had requested to speak with all the instructors and Eric this morning. I wish I could tell my friends about it but I knew I couldn't. They would inevitably question me on how I would even know that kind of information and there was no way I could easily explain it away. I could hear the whispers going around the room, echoing in the large space no matter how quiet everyone tried to be. I also didn't miss the looks I was receiving, as if I were the one guilty for what was currently happening. It took a lot for me not to speak up and scream at everyone to shove off. I couldn't help the glare that appeared on my face but I at least didn't focus it on anyone in particular. I was supposed to be going under the radar, not calling attention to myself like this. But my plan was all going to shit and it was increasingly becoming difficult to not feel as though I was losing control of my own life. I hated that feeling more than anything.

Minutes passed until finally we heard movement outside the door, one by one our instructors entered. Tobias looking just as serious as he was the second to walk in. Gasps were heard at the entrance when we all watched the last person enter.

Max.

The instructors and Eric flanked his sides, giving their due respect to our Head Dauntless leader as he stood front and center.

Everyone stood stock still, as we waited on baited breath to find out what our leader would say.

Our leader in turn took his time, analyzing every single one of us. His eyes lingering on me the longest as his eyes perused over my scrapes, bruises and wrapped ankle. "I wanted to start this morning by making an announcement to our initiate class. After yesterday's incident it has become impossible for me to ignore what has happened. You are all here to prove that you belong with us. That you are all brave and strong enough to join our faction, a faction that is dedicated to protecting our city and its people." He said seriously, his voice echoing loudly in the large space. "There has never been a need to implement this rule, but seeing as how you are all unable to prove your worth through your own actions… Dauntless will now be forced to take action for you. From now on, any initiate who chooses to eliminate its competition through deadly means will be immediately removed from our faction. As a faction we consider it to be cowardice, a trait that will not be tolerated in its people. As your leader, I expect each and every one of you to conduct yourselves as Dauntless members, even if you are not official members yet, but especially when you leave outside of our faction's territory. Deviating from our laws and rules will not be tolerated."

Max ended his speech as seriously as he'd started, glaring at us one more time before he pivoted on his foot and marched out of the training room without another word.

It was dead silent for a moment before Eric stepped forward.

"You are all adults now. Adults who have willingly chosen their faction in order to become full-fledged members of its society. Like Max said, we expect you all to abide by the rules we have set forth. It is unfortunate that you have all demonstrated such immaturity and disrespect to us all. You have all shown you are not worthy of the Dauntless name and repercussions must be made. Today, we have decided to ensure you are all fully aware of our Dauntless Manifesto. You will all run until we believe you have not only memorized but have learned what being Dauntless means to us all."

There were groans heard all around as we realized what this meant. Meanwhile I internally cried for my ankle, this was going to hurt like hell.

He directed us to move behind him and we all quickly followed his order. Heading straight for the beginning of the track, which basically traced the edges of the whole training room.

Before I could reach it I felt a hard grip on my arm pulling me back. I looked up slightly startled, finding Eric so close to my side as he faced me. "Not you, Stiff." He said firmly, his warm breath hitting me in the face.

I'm not going to lie, I was tempted to take the free pass he was offering but knew I couldn't. I was already receiving glares from the other initiates as they blamed me for their current punishment. If I didn't join them in this there would be hell to pay later.

"I have to." I said shortly.

He looked like he wanted to argue but I knew he was fully aware of why I couldn't say no. He begrudgingly nodded and let me go. I threw a quick look at the rest of my instructors, noticing they all looked unhappy at my choice… especially Tobias. But as I watched Rosalie glare at me with hate filled eyes, my resolve solidified as I joined my friends on the track. Jared lifted his fist to me in solidarity and I pressed my own fist to his.

"As you run, you will repeat the Dauntless Manifesto after me loud and clear. I want to hear it echo off the walls!" Eric ordered. "Start!"

The pounding of feet could be heard along with our voices as we repeated the Dauntless Manifesto along with our instructors.

"We believe that cowardice is to blame for the world's injustices. We believe that peace is hard-won, that sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace. We believe in freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions. We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. We believe in…"

I lost track of how many times we went over the same words over and over again but by the end of our punishment there was no doubt in our instructors' minds that it was now fully engraved in our brains forever. I was proud to say that I had finished along with everyone else and even while I'd ended at the rear of the group, my friends had ran beside me showing our united front. It was further confirmation that my trust in them was not misplaced. It warmed my cold little black heart and I both loved and hated it at the same time.

I ended up limping my way out of there but refused to show any more weakness. I was sure someone else in my position would have taken Eric's offer, but I needed to show my strength during a time where I could so easily give up and take the easy way out. But I refused to back down.

"You are a beast, Bella!" Uriah cheered as we walked towards the food hall.

I did my best to laugh and pretend like I was unbothered by the whole ordeal. "Thanks." I said but lightly flinched as I walked.

"How's your ankle?"

"Fine." I said quickly, he gave me a look showing he didn't believe me for a second but didn't say more. "It'll be fine, I'll take another pill and that should help." I said, patting my pocket and remembering I'd left it back in the training room. I'd have to go back and get it. "Crap, I left it in the training room. I'll catch up to you guys in a bit."

"I'll go with you." Alice spoke up.

"No it's ok. You guys go ahead." I said quickly, just needing time to myself to breath. It was stifling to be surrounded by everyone all the time and even though I couldn't just take off on my own, I could at least savor those few minutes by myself as I returned to grab my medication. I could see it now lying against the wall next to my water. I limped my way over there, dropping onto my ass as I grasped the medicine bottle in my hand. I pulled one out, swallowing the pill and chasing it down with some water letting my head drop back against the wall behind me waiting for my ankle to stop throbbing. I was fucking exhausted and so ready for a nap at this point, the idea of food having little appeal to me in the state I was in.

"You should've taken my offer." A deep voice spoke.

I usually startled when Eric suddenly appeared out of the blue but I think I was too exhausted to scrounge up the energy to do so. As a matter of fact, I didn't even bother to open my eyes to pay him any attention. Will I ever get the chance to be alone for once?

I could hear his footsteps echoing in the open space, making an eerie sound with the lack of human bodies present. I heard him stop in front of me but my eyes didn't snap open until I felt his rough calloused hand on my ankle.

He was crouched down in front of me, watching my face as he silently grasped onto my legging and slowly glided the hem up my shin to expose my injury. His eyes dropped to the ground as he unwrapped my leg delicately until we could both see the bruise was a lot darker than it had been yesterday, darker than the bruises on my arms. They looked horrible. He frowned deeply for a single heartbeat and then slipped his hand into his back pocket, pulling out a little black pot. Opening the lid he scooped out some cream with his fingers.

"What is that?" I asked quietly.

"It's a topical cream. Reduces inflammation and bruising, it'll make you heal faster." He said just as quietly.

I was confused as to why he even cared. He never demonstrated any type of sympathy or compassion for anyone before. So why was I suddenly any different when he'd never showed any sign of it until last night? I could feel him gently massaging my skin as he went, moving to my arms and repeating the gesture. He grabbed some more product into his fingers and he reached forward but before he could touch my skin again I gave up my self-restraint.

"Why?" I whispered lowly.

His eyes snapped up to mine again, his hand hovering just over the skin of my neck. He didn't show much emotion but he wasn't glaring at me like he usually did either. I wasn't exactly sure what this look meant. He continued with his movement and I thought he wasn't going to respond, so he surprised me when he did.

"I don't know." He said shortly, frowning down at his hand as he soothingly rubbed my neck. I resisted the urge to close my eyes and moan, it felt so comforting to have his warm skin touch mine, but there was another part of me that wasn't just feeling a nice little warmth. There were certain parts of me that were scalding. Burning me alive and igniting something inside of me that I had never experienced before.

I clenched my jaw and grasped his wrist to stop him from continuing. "Yes you do." I said more firmly this time, annoyed with my body's reaction to his touch. "Why do you care, Eric?"

He released a breath and leaned forward. Extending his free hand and placing it against the wall beside my head. The hand with the wrist I was still holding moved upwards, lightly cupping my cheek. I held my breath as I watched his face move closer to my own.

I should've pushed his face away from me but it was like I was completely hypnotized, observing his every move as if I were in a dream. "There's something about you, Bella." He whispered, his breath hitting my face and filling my lungs with it. It was the first time I'd ever heard him call me by my name, it sounded so much better coming from his deep masculine voice. "I want to watch you break…" he said lowly, tilting his head to the side to whisper his next words into my ear. "I want to see you lose that control you so desperately hold on to." He said seductively. I almost shivered at his words but I resisted. Still, there was a pleasurable tingling underneath my skin where Eric's hand lay on my cheek.

"I want to break you, just to remake you again."

Wait, what?

His last words jarred me back into my body, my common sense and pride finally returning to me. I used both of my hands to push him away from me, his hands dropping from my skin and the wall behind me. I only wished he would've fallen flat on his ass but he managed to keep himself crouched on his legs.

"I don't need anyone to make me into anything." I said coldly, rising swiftly to my feet. He followed my movements, I could see his once relatively open expression shut down again but I didn't care. I wasn't going to fall into his trap so easily. I moved away making my escape, I felt his hand try to grasp mine to prevent my departure but I managed to maneuver myself out of his reach and continued to walk towards the exit. My limp was visibly gone now and for some reason that made me angrier.

"You're welcome." He said from behind. I could feel his burning gaze but refused to give in again. I've been letting my guard down around him for far too long. It was stupid, idiotic, moronic and many other words that I couldn't even think about right now with how angry I felt.

I made it to the food hall without further interference, taking my food and sitting with my friends.

"Hey, you're not limping anymore! I thought you'd look happier than you do." Uriah piped up.

They were all halfway through their meal by the time I started my own. "I'm just tired from today and yesterday… I guess it's all catching up to me."

Jared threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into him. "But you did good, Bella. You've showed everyone what a badass you are. Not many of us can say that."

He was such a good hype man along with Uriah, and looking at Alice and Felix they too looked extremely proud of me. I smiled at them, feeling much better at the quick pick me up from my friends.

Just then Eric entered the food hall, I tried to look away but not a second longer passed where his eyes zeroed in on me once again. His eyes narrowed, glaring at me and Jared. I belatedly realized Jared still has his arm around me and I had to admit something inside of me felt pleased over it. I looked away directing my attention to my food and to my friends as I tried to ignore his glare and the dangerous thoughts I suddenly had for him. These past two days he had made me feel things I'd never felt before but I refused to acknowledge that fact, especially while I had Jared's interest in me. I needed what Jared could provide me now. I didn't have to walk on eggshells around him, he was what he was and there was no secret agenda with him. He wanted me and that was that.

"So what do you think, Bella?" Alice asked me directly, luckily I'd been paying somewhat attention to their conversation while I had my inner monologue and I knew what she was referring to.

"Uh, no I don't want to right now. Maybe during phase two and after my bruises have faded away. Besides, I don't know what tattoo to get. I'll just go back to the dorms and take a nap or something."

"I'll stay with you." Jared said quickly, "I'm with, Bella. I don't want a tattoo yet but I will later on. You guys go and we'll catch up with you later." Jared said to everyone.

"Are you sure? We can always wait to do it together later on." Alice suggested.

"Don't, just go and maybe you guys can get another round of tattoos whenever we decide to do it next." I said to reassure them it was fine. I really just wanted time for myself, or at least to somewhat be alone and not be engaged in conversation. Even though Jared would be with me I knew he would let me have that if I told him what I needed.

"If you guys are sure." Felix said, collecting his stuff to get up from his seat.

"I guess we'll see you guys later." Uriah piped in.

Meanwhile Alice winked at me with a " Have a good nap." Quickly thrown in at the end as she stepped away from the table.

I shook my head and giggled at the insinuation… though now that I thought about it, it suddenly sounded like the perfect idea. I felt the need in between my legs almost immediately, Eric's continuous stare on me making it worse and so was my anger because of it, waking up the rebellious side of me that wanted to show him that I wasn't at all fazed by his looks or his words.

"Jared." I started, lifting my cup to drink from.

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to go to our hiding spot?" I whispered, taking a casual sip as I saw his head snap to me as soon as the question left my lips.

"Hell yeah." He said just as quietly, but I could hear the excitement in his voice as he readily agreed.

"Cool. Let's go." I said, gathering my things and giggling as I watched Jared clumsily putting his stuff into his tray to get rid of them quickly.

I could detect the pep in his step from behind him and I laughed again. It was what I liked about Jared so much, his innocence and genuine kindness was refreshing. He guided me out of the food hall and I smiled more broadly as I left him who shall not be named behind and away from me and my thoughts.

As soon as we reached our hiding spot I pulled Jared by his t-shirt, claiming his lips as he fumbled to get rid of his clothes. I pulled away from him, giggling as I watched him clumsily do so with little finesse in his movements. It was just another thing I appreciated about him, he was never embarrassed to show me exactly how eager he was to be with me.

I pulled my clothes off a lot more calmly than he did, but as more of my skin was slowly displayed his movements became even more clumsy. I bit my lip trying to not laugh at him, which later became more easy to do as a hungry look overtook his features. His eyes roving over my body and practically drooling at the sight. It made me feel warm inside, even with all of these ugly bruises and scrapes all over my body he never once cared as he reached for me. His large hand pulling me into him, connecting our bare skin together as he kissed me.

"Lie down." He said more firmly. I smiled and followed his orders, wondering where he'd suddenly gotten his confidence. Not that I minded in the slightest, I was proud of him for it too.

He dropped to his knees, spreading my legs wide for him and then bent down sliding his arms under my legs so they'd drape over his shoulders. The ground was cold but as his tongue lapped at me in the place I craved the most my body suddenly burst with fire. A fire that had been slowly igniting for the longest time, I instructed him on what to do when he went a little too fast where he needed to be slow. I guided him by his hair and he easily complied to what I wanted until he got the hang of it and took over. He surprised me when he slid two of his fingers inside and my back arched off the floor in pleasure. I reached for his t-shirt and used it to muffle the moans he produced out of me. His own moans feeding the flame inside of me higher and higher. I was desperately chasing my orgasm, trying to find the release I desperately needed. My life was so chaotic but this right here, this was the medicine I needed to make me feel better. Even the medication I had taken hadn't made me feel as good as this.

My hand tugging on his hair let go and I reached up, grasping onto my breast, squeezing it and pinching my nipple. "Curl your fingers up and rub." I ordered Jared.

He complied without hesitation and my orgasm rushed forward, stilling my body as I dug my heels on Jared's back. He moaned in pleasure as he realized I'd reached my peak and when my body settled he dropped my legs back to the ground, crawling over my body to hover over me.

"Good?" He asked with a bright smile, wanting to hear my approval.

I nodded and smiled happily, "Better than good." I praised, pulling his face down to mine. I could taste myself on his lips and I moaned, pushing myself up to rub his member against my slit. He moaned and closed his eyes lost in sensation.

I smiled in response and slid my hand slowly down his chest, feeling his skin break out into goosebumps at my touch but as my hand traveled lower his body shivered in pleasure. And when I grasped onto his erection and squeezed, he moaned deeply, his body tensing ever so slightly. I stroked him twice before finally guiding him into me. We both moaned at the feeling and he dropped his forehead onto my shoulder. "Oh God." He gasped out, "You feel so good." He said dreamily and I smiled into his neck as I kissed it.

"Move, Jared. I'll help you." I said seductively, trailing wet kisses along his neck until I reached his mouth. He kissed me fiercely and then he moved, his body automatically knowing what to do. I followed his rhythm at first, letting him do what he needed to feel good. He gasped into my mouth, moaning deep in his throat, it started getting louder that I had to shush him, fearing that someone might hear us from here.

"Sorry." He said breathlessly, "you're just so…"

I smiled as he trailed off, watching him shutting his eyes tightly at having my warmth wrapped around him, but I needed more. I reached down, grasping onto his cheeks with my two hands to move him into the rhythm I wanted. He easily complied but when he realized my pace felt even better than his he let go of my lips, sticking his face into my neck in an attempt to muffle his moans. I could feel him starting to tense around me and I knew he was close, I wanted to get mine too and so I removed one of my hands from him, sliding it in between us and pressing my fingers against my clit. I rubbed and I turned my head into his neck this time, now starting to feel the coiling of my body.

He kept moving but found his release soon and stilled for a split second before his movements became jerky. I used it to my advantage and rubbed my fingers over my clit desperately reaching for my second release until I finally found it and let go. My movements becoming quicker than they had been earlier and I managed to move Jared along with me by the other hand I still had on his left cheek.

We were both breathing heavily by the end, as he slipped out of me to lay next to me. In a tender move I hadn't expected he slid his arm under my head and placed a kiss on the top of my head. I smiled, not bothered by his action as he breathed heavily next to me.

"Thank you." He said, making me smile as I turned to look at him.

"You know you don't have to thank me every time right?" I teased him.

He chuckled lowly and nodded. "But I felt like I needed to. That was amazing, Bella."

"Then you're welcome, I guess."

We stayed like that for a while longer, looking at the night sky right outside the window. Sensing I needed this Jared remained quiet, staring out the window along with me as he pulled me further into his arms. I didn't fight him, needing his warmth to keep the cold away from my skin now that we were laying still. It wasn't until I shivered in cold that he let go, sitting up to help me look for my clothes to cover me up. He dressed himself too once he was assured I had all of my clothing and I smiled again at his thoughtfulness. It suddenly occurred to me what a great boyfriend he could be for someone as he pulled me back down with him to resume our previous positions. I decided to break our silence with my next words.

"Jared?" I asked quietly, he hummed again in response. "I just want you to know that even though I enjoy our time together. If you ever find someone that you like, make sure you go after her."

He turned to look at me then with a frown. "What do you mean? Do you not want to do this anymore?" He asked with hurt in his voice.

I leaned up on my elbow to look down at him. "Of course I want to… but like I said before. This is all it's ever going to be for me, Jared. I love you as my friend but this will never go beyond sex." I communicated as gently as possible so as not to hurt his feelings. "I just don't want you to miss out on someone special because of me."

He leaned back up wrapping his hand around the side of my neck, his fingers so long his thumb reached up to my chin and the rest almost to the back of my head. "I get it. I really do and I will… if I ever find anyone…" he trailed off in thought but his gaze returned to me soon after. "But you don't think you'll find anyone for yourself too?" He asked quietly, frowning in worry. I could see the frown was more for the fact that I seemed too emotionally closed off to allow myself to feel something for anyone instead of worry over losing me for himself.

"I'm not saying no but I also don't know… maybe in the future but I don't know if I'll ever find someone that I can see myself with forever. I've never thought about it to be honest. I'm a complicated person and I don't know if I'll ever find someone who not only understands my convoluted mind but also loves and accepts me for it. I'm not easy to be around."

He chuckled lightly and pressed his lips to mine. I opened up for him as he dipped his tongue into my mouth. I welcomed it happily, it's the type of connection I needed from someone at the moment and Jared was so readily open to providing that for me when I needed it. Even if our sexual relationship didn't last long I would still treasure it for the time I had it for.

He pulled away slowly and smiled. "I think you're easier to love than you think, Bella." He said quietly.

I smiled at him but pulled away getting up to my feet. I reached my hand down to him and he took it, though he didn't use me to pull himself up, simply humoring my kind gesture. One that he knew was so rare for me to show.