All characters from Divergent belong to Veronica Roth as well as all characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing except my version of events.
A/N: (Trigger Warning) Ok, so since the beginning of the story I hadn't planned on going further into detail about child abuse and what really happened to Tobias after his mother passed away, but I felt like the story called for it. I still won't be very graphic, only retelling the story of the night Bella found Tobias and the original source material for her first fear landscape. I debated for a while on whether to write it or not but chose to go with it in the end as I feel like this is a fundamental step forward for Bella and Eric. It is a strongly bonding moment between both characters which I feel is important to include, and it also serves as a cathartic release for Bella who we all know likes to internalize her pain in order to not appear weak or vulnerable. It's a big step for her but one I found necessary for her to take in order to achieve some character development.
Anyway, I apologize if it gets a bit emotional or too dark but I hope I was able to write what was necessary and not provide unnecessary dark content. Traumatizing or triggering any one of you is not my intention. With that being said, I will be adding a short line of dashes to alert you to the start and end of the section if you are not interested in reading it.
Also, this is me trying to get back on my regular twice-a-week posting schedule. Let's hope I can continue with that goal.
Much love to you all
Chapter 18 The Start of Something
I giggled, feeling the roughness of his unshaven chin against the sensitive skin of my neck.
We'd been naked in bed the entire weekend, barely leaving his bed. And when we did it was only to eat quick snacks or to move our activities to the shower. We were having a really good time, something I never expected to come so easily.
And though everything was seemingly going well, internally, I was struggling to let him see the softer playful side of me. The person who I really was underneath my hard-shell exterior. But Eric was patient with me, never asking for more than what I was willing to give. I think he was aware of how delicate the situation was, especially with the tender wound Tobias had not only created but left behind. I was still having a difficult time processing everything that's happened in such a short span of time. I knew I would eventually have to scrounge up the courage to speak to Tobias, but I had absolutely no idea how I was supposed to do that. I was hoping that with time I would come to grips with it all and find a way to mend our broken relationship but so far I was coming up empty. Which is why I simply tried not to stress about it for now. Instead, I chose to live in the moment and to take every ounce of happiness Eric was so willing to share with me. He committed every single part of himself to me, going as far as calling Harrison to cover for him when he was needed by making some lame excuse that he was sick. He'd also taken the liberty of calling Tobias and ordering him to cover for him with the initiates as well. Of course, Tobias had readily accepted knowing Eric was currently the one taking care of me.
It was weird to think of someone 'taking care of me' when no one had done so before. Unless you counted my mom fussing over me on the rare occasion I got sick. I didn't though, this type of care was different. He wasn't caring for just my body but my mind and my heart too. It was still hard to grasp that concept, but I figured that with time it would get easier… I hoped.
"You know if you don't stop I'll show up bruised and battered for my first day in leadership." I informed him, but it didn't stop him from turning onto his back. Lifting me off his bed and placing me to lie on top of him, my back pressed against his chest. His head was propped up on a pillow, his full luscious lips kissing over the area of my open neck. His hands reached over his blanket, flicking it with his wrist and uncovering us both simultaneously. His hands immediately glided over my naked body, refusing to leave a single patch untouched. I sighed and laid my hands on top of his. There was something so erotic about allowing my hands to follow along as he touched my skin.
"You're beautiful." He whispered delicately against my ear, so softly it almost didn't sound like his voice. I shouldn't be surprised, his voice had taken on different tones I hadn't known he possessed over the weekend. He worshiped me with his words, his hands, his lips, his tongue and practically in every other way he could think of. Much like he was doing right now. I could feel his hardened length underneath my butt, slipping slowly in between my cheeks when I spread my legs over his. He choked on a breath and I smiled, arching my back and adding pressure as I moved up and down against his body.
His hand instinctively covered my sex, I knew he could feel his cock with his fingertips when he cursed in my ear.
"Eric." I whispered, using my hand over his to guide him. Pushing my index and middle finger against his to slide inside my wet folds, causing them to glide against my tight bundle of nerves every time I slid down. I moaned.
And then his hands suddenly came alive, his left hand grasping onto my hip and helping me with my movements. His right hand began its furious pace against my clit, no longer needing assistance and doing everything on his own.
I moaned in pleasure, feeling myself tensing and noticing his erection was starting to harden even further as well. I moved almost frantically now, my pace hurried, I wasn't the only one. It was starting to get very uncoordinated. Not that I minded in the slightest, uncoordinated meant we were both putting in our all. This time it also meant that he was chasing after that same high as frantically under me as I was on top of him. So much so that the tip of his cock began to glide by the puckered bud of my back entrance.
"Oh god, Eric. Do it." I begged, tilting my hips even more to push his cock harder against it, writhing over his body and wanting to just melt into him.
He groaned loudly, his body slightly stiffening. "Shit, Baby, you're not ready for that right now." He gritted out, though I knew he was dying to be there.
I slid my hand up and into his hair, tightening my grip at the sound of want in his voice. If it were just for his pleasure he would've done it without hesitation, but he knew he could hurt me if he did it unprepared and Eric would never do that. He would wait for a better time when he could make sure I would enjoy it too.
"Promise?" I gasped out, my body losing any form of rhythm. My legs clenching together and trapping his hand in between my thighs and his cock in between my cheeks. I was so close.
"Yes!" He gasped, his whole body tensing underneath me as it curled up on me as he came. My orgasm hit me hard as I heard his desperate voice scream in my ear. "Whatever you want, baby." He panted out, his breaths leaving his body and gliding over my ear, sending goosebumps all over my skin. His hand once grasping my hips released its hold only to wrap itself around my midsection to keep me in place. I could hear his little moans and groans with his mouth so close to my ear as our bodies moved against each other. His seed jetting out so hard I could feel it passing the skin of my cheeks and managing to partially coat them too.
It never ceased to amaze me, the power Eric had over my body… and now my heart too. If I was completely honest with myself I was absolutely terrified. It was a feeling I had to constantly fight against because I knew if I let my guard down for even a second, my mind would take over my heart and I would run away from Eric amd revert back to the cold and indifferent person I preferred to be. There was a grueling battle warring inside of me that I hoped I would overcome soon.
Slowly he relaxed under me. We laid silently together. Not needing any words to enjoy our time alone, but eventually his body came alive again, his lips kissing the skin of my neck again. His hands softly roaming over my body, again.
And I giggled, again.
We were back to where we'd started… or never ended?
Never ended sounded more appropriate.
If he continued with his movements I was sure we would keep going with no end in sight. I knew Eric was doing it on purpose too. Even as I processed that thought I could feel him smiling against my neck, his triumphant smile widening when his cock started hardening again. He was unstoppable, not that I complained. I could easily keep up, if anything I demanded more and more, it never seemed to be enough.
The only thing keeping me from following his lead was my eagerness to take a look at my new living arrangements. He was supposed to have shown it to me since yesterday morning but finding the start and flow of our new relationship had taken precedence.
He sighed, knowing exactly where my mind had drifted off to. He smacked a kiss on my cheek playfully before sitting up and taking me with him. He shifted me to straddle him now and I don't know how he did it but he kneeled on the bed, my legs now wrapped around his waist to make it easier for him to get us out of bed. It surprised me every time I witnessed his strength first-hand. He carried me like I weighed nothing, wordlessly taking us into his bathroom.
I was getting ready to jump off so he could turn the water on but his arm wrapped itself tighter around my waist not allowing me to escape as he turned the water on. I squealed at the cold water hitting my back, desperately trying to wiggle out of his hold. He laughed loudly, the sound echoing in the small room as he held onto me.
"Dick." I murmured after I stopped shrieking once the water got warmer, playfully shoving him away from me. He laughed indulgently, funny how a previous insult towards him was now considered a term of endearment. We were a weird pair.
Without thought he reached for his shampoo, squirting product into his hand before reaching for my hair. He massaged my scalp and I moaned as I relaxed against his chest, letting his soothing touch comfort me like it had this entire weekend.
"Careful." He warned, I knew what he was warning me against. If I wanted to get to my apartment sometime today I really needed to stop distracting him. Unfortunately for him, I'm a bitch, and so I wiggled my butt against his erection. He cursed under his breath and released me at once. "I can't." He declared, raising his hands up in surrender.
I laughed loudly this time, watching him retreat, grabbing a towel and drying himself off quickly to make his escape. "You didn't even shower!" I exclaimed to his retreating back, watching his muscles and tight butt move further and further away from me until they were out of sight.
"You're impossible!" He yelled back from the other room, but I could hear the smile in his voice.
I giggled softly to myself this time, still disbelieving of the progression we had made in just a couple of days. I felt bad for making him wait for me for so long. It felt so wrong now. I bit my lip when I realized I couldn't stop thinking about him. He wasn't physically here with me and yet I couldn't get him out of my every waking thought. It was ridiculous at this point.
I took my time taking a shower. There probably wouldn't be any hot water left for him to shower with later but that was his problem now not mine. Though if he really needed a shower I guess he could also use my apartment's shower too. Again, it was scary to think I was suddenly so willing to let him into my life and space so easily.
I pushed the fear aside and finally surfaced out of the water. I could smell him cooking something as I dressed. It was very thoughtful of him, considering this was the first full meal he had spent more than ten minutes making since I'd been here. I committed myself to eating every single bite, no matter how salty or sweet it turned out to be. I figured I should start putting in the effort into protecting his feelings too, and what better way to start then to be appreciative of what he had thoughtfully made for us both.
Releasing a committed breath, I made my way out of his bedroom and into his kitchen. Soundlessly climbing onto his counter and crossing my legs on top while leaning my head in my hands to watch him. I don't think he'd noticed my presence yet. When I arrived he had been bending down to check the food through the oven door and he still hadn't turned back around to face me. I could see from here we still had about five minutes left until the food was done. I was tempted to announce my presence but then he placed his hands on the edge of the sink and leaned forward, slightly shaking his head in quiet contemplation, but I could tell he was smiling.
Again, I thought I should really say something. But I suddenly felt frozen in place. A part of me still felt insecure and completely out of my element. I still needed constant reassurances to prove that he cared for me in some way, either with words or through actions, and so I couldn't help but to watch him when he was completely unaware of my presence. My dad used to say people always showed their true selves when no one was watching, or unaware that they were being watched. It was probably wrong for me to do when I was trying to be open to letting him in. It was also probably an invasion of privacy… Ok, definitely an invasion of privacy, I concluded. But when I'd finally decided to say something he'd decided to turn around.
"Fuck!" He exclaimed, placing his hand over his fast-beating heart. "I didn't know you were there. How the hell did you sneak up on me like that?" He asked, still in shock but with a hint of awe over my skill.
"Sorry." I said, looking down at my hands, watching my nails digging into my flesh. For some reason what I'd said to Jared the other night slipped into my mind. Sometimes I wasn't quite sure how I could possibly be human. It was difficult for me to allow my emotions to let loose around in my head… or was it body… heart?
I was slightly startled too as I felt his arms wrapping around me, embracing me in his arms to wordlessly let me know he accepted me no matter what. I lifted my arms, wrapping them around his neck and digging my face into the side of his neck. I breathed him in for the first time. Taking notice of the smell that was so uniquely his own and finding comfort in it. That was normal right? To have a man's scent I was now romantically involved with to soothe me even more than Tobias' did.
Again it was a terrifying thought.
My mind desperately tried to go on autopilot, screaming at me to escape and not face the emotional shit currently going on inside of me.
No, you idiot, don't listen to that voice. You're trying for Eric, remember?
My mind waged a war all on its own.Thankfully, the oven alarm dinged at just the right time interrupting my chaotic thoughts. Eric placed a kiss on my forehead before letting go. "Sit at the table." He ordered a simple command, knowing my brain was currently short circuiting itself at the moment. I moved almost robotically. I hadn't realized how emotionally inept I really was until this very moment.
There was seriously something very wrong with me.
"Here." Eric said, pulling me out of my head again.
"Thank you." I said automatically. I frowned slightly as I looked down down at my plate, noticing the large amount of vegetables and a lightly seasoned piece of chicken. When I looked at his plate, I found a smaller portion of vegetables along with a larger piece of chicken, but they all looked to be a lot more seasoned than mine. Testing my theory, I cut a bite-size piece and put it into my mouth.
It was good, really good, with barely any seasoning just how I liked it. Only Tobias had ever made me food since leaving Abnegation and he made it a point to lightly season it like we used to back home. I doubted Tobias would tell Eric that little detail about me and so I had to deduce that Eric had paid attention to more than just my body all those times I'd felt his eyes on me in the food hall. My eyes started to sting and my lower lip wobbled.
Was I about to cry?
Crap, I think I'm about to cry.
"Bella?" Eric called out to me.
I swallowed thickly. "Yeah?" I croaked out, refusing to look up at him.
"Is it bad?" He asked in worry, "I tried to make it how you like it. Was it still too much?"
"No… it's good." I squeezed out of my tight throat, biting my lip to keep my shit together.
I must've opened the dam of tears since the other night. My emotions felt so on the edge now, like I would break down in tears if a wind gusted through hard enough to push me over the edge. Did that mean I would cry over everything now? Fuck I hoped not, I really hated tears.
"Come here." Eric ordered, sensing I was having a silent mental breakdown over fucking chicken.
I did as I was told, quickly and eagerly, and not because I wanted sex but because of the comfort I knew I'd find in his arms. He pushed his chair away from the table to give me enough room to climb onto his lap. I wrapped myself around him, my body refusing to leave even a sliver of space in between our bodies.
He didn't speak a single word, just letting me find comfort in him for as long as I needed to. I'm sure if he could he would keep me there forever.
"Our food is getting cold." I whispered into his neck after some time.
"Who cares?"
I smiled into his skin, nuzzling him and placing a kiss on his neck before lifting my head and nuzzling the side of his face next. I could feel his wide smile as he let me. "Thank you."
He pulled away from me, caressing my cheek and cupping it gently as his eyes connected to mine. He leaned his face towards mine and kissed me sweetly. Letting our lips and tongue lightly touch but not pushing for more. It was different, but in a good way.
"Want me to feed you?" He offered when he pulled away, but I knew he was only teasing me to lighten the mood.
I smiled and shook my head, "Maybe next time." I joked back, I made to pull away but his grip on me tightened. I didn't even attempt to fight him, knowing he wasn't going to let me go any longer. Happy with my concession he leaned forward to reach for my plate, placing it next to his. I turned in his arms to face the table and this time he let me. We ate in silence, mostly, he couldn't help but to laugh every time I cut a piece of his chicken for him and fed him. But I knew his left hand was currently busy holding onto me and it would be almost impossible for him to cut it himself.
When we were done, I turned to the side, placing my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. It was still weird to be here like this with Eric. I had gotten so used to leaving as soon as we were done with sex that I'd never given him a chance to show me any affection before. Again, it was scary as hell, but I was more open to giving him the opportunity to be like this with me. He eagerly took them, not wanting to miss a single chance. Like now, he'd slung my legs over his thighs and cradled my body in his arms, his cheek leaning against my forehead while his left hand brushed delicately through my hair.
"Thank you." I said softly, wanting to show my appreciation for him while trying not to disrupt the calm energy currently surrounding us.
The hand on my leg keeping me in place tightened, a silent signal of acknowledgement, and then he lightly pressed his warm lips against my forehead. It was so incredibly sweet and tender, spreading a warm feeling all through my body. I wasn't sure what it was but whatever it was it was nice.
"We should go." He said after some time. I harrumphed in disapproval, not at all in agreement with that statement. I felt his quiet chuckle underneath my body. "You wanted to settle into your new apartment before your first day of work tomorrow, remember?"
I turned my body slightly to wrap my arms around his neck to answer, "I know, it's just… It feels like we're going back to the real world and it… scares me." I admitted.
He threw me a tender smile, knowing exactly what I meant, one I was not accustomed to but one I took as a good sign. It was also amazing to see that rare smile directed straight toward me. "Nothing is going to change between us, Bella. Just as long as we both keep trying to move forward together as a couple, everything will be fine. We'll be fine." He reassured me softly. Cupping my cheek in his hand he leaned down to press his lips delicately onto mine as if he were cementing our promise. His lips were so soft and warm that when his tongue lightly traced along the seam of my lips I immediately opened up for him. His tongue slipped into my mouth delicately, taking its time as it caressed my tongue. This was also a rare kiss. It was one I loved and cherished. So different from the usual hard and desperate kisses we shared in the past. He pulled away slowly, leaving his lips on mine for a moment before pulling away completely. "Come on." He said as he pulled me to stand up with him. "I have to show you to your new apartment. If I don't, you'll accuse me of keeping you my prisoner." He teased. I pouted but all it did was pull a soft chuckle out of him, he placed a last swift kiss to my lips but ultimately grabbed my hand and pulled me along behind him heading straight for his front door.
I followed silently after him. As we slipped into the hall we immediately took a left and then stopped just fifteen feet away from his door, he pulled a paper out of his pocket and handed it out to me.
"You're fucking with me right?" I asked, turning to look up at him, but by the shit eating grin on his face I knew he definitely was not. "Dick." I muttered, rolling my eyes and snatching the paper out of his hand in annoyance. He chuckled but didn't say more as he watched me input the passcode into the keypad, the green light switched on admitting my entrance and I turned the handle pushing the door open. "It's weird that it looks almost exactly like yours." I commented, slipping the code to my apartment into the back pocket of my jeans.
"They provide you with the necessary furniture but you're free to decorate it however you want."
I hummed in answer, looking at the wide space around me, it was just as big as Eric's apartment. I took a quick look around, taking notes in my mind of the things I wanted to change and items I wanted to add to make the place more my own. Eric silently followed behind, unbothered by the slow pace I had set until we ended up back in the living room where we'd first started. It was then that he pulled me down to the couch to sit on top of his lap, his hand slipping easily into my hair to pull me in for a sweet kiss. He was starting slow and gentle, but I knew exactly where his mind was heading, and so I pulled softly away.
He regarded me with concern as he took note of the change in my expression.
I pulled the paper out from my back pocket and handed it over. He arched a brow in silent question but didn't utter a word. "Use it whenever you want." I said simply, shrugging my shoulders in pretend indifference.
He stared at me for a long moment and I could almost physically see his brain trying to comprehend the enormity of my action. I was letting him into my space, the one place that I could fully claim as my own. It was a big deal. I loved my privacy. It was important to have, especially in the environment we lived in. It was a privilege only high-ranking members received. The majority of people shared their living spaces with one or more members since space was so scarce. Instead of using words he simply smiled and lifted my hand up to kiss it in silent appreciation of my promise to try to open up to him. It suddenly felt like such an important moment, and then it clicked that this was probably the best chance I'd ever get at coming clean about my past and to explain to him what had really gone down between Tobias and I. I felt the air around me thickening as the weight of what I was about to do press down on my shoulders. I didn't want to talk about such a serious topic so soon in my new apartment, but I'd left Eric without an explanation for the past couple days and I was really pushing the limits to his patience.
I released a harsh breath to prepare myself.
"Whatever it is, you don't have to tell me if you're not ready." Eric said, interrupting me.
Jesus, this man would never cease to amaze me. No matter how many lives I lived, I will never deserve him.
"No… you deserve to know the truth."
He shook his head with a tender smile on his face. "Baby, It's still too soon. I understand if you aren't ready. I can wait for however long you need me to until you get there."
I frowned at his response. Yes it was incredibly sweet for him to take my feelings into consideration, but even through all the tears I had shed that night I acknowledged what that scene had looked like from the outside. The words I'd said to Tobias that day could have easily been interpreted as an unrequited love. A love triangle between Tobias, Tris, and I. It seemed strange that Eric wouldn't want to know the details when he'd always seemed so possessive of me. He'd always wanted my full attention, at all times, and now he was suddenly okay with the possibility of me being in love with another man. It just didn't make sense…
"I might not be ready but I can't keep leaving you in the dark." I persisted, "You deserve to know the truth… about my past and how it involves Four."
"Bella-" he started again, but I covered his mouth with my hand.
"Will you shut up already and let me explain?" I blurted out with clear annoyance in my voice. I didn't remove my hand until I was sure he wouldn't interrupt me again. I breathed in deeply and then started anew. "The truth is that… Four and I grew up together… in Abnegation." I waited for a reaction, but when I didn't receive one I continued. "Both of our parents began serving on the council together and became very close friends. Obviously, Tobias is older than me but as soon as I was born we were attached at the hip. He never left my side, oftentimes going as far as sleeping inside the crib with me." I said with a smile, referring to the many stories my mother had regaled us both with growing up. "From my very first day here on earth, Tobias has been my best friend, my brother, in every way that mattered. Our childhood was the best until the day his mother passed away. Tobias had been devastated, and though I was six and didn't completely understand the magnitude of such a loss, I grieved along with him. But the day after her funeral Tobias had disappeared. Everyday I would show up at his doorstep only to be turned away by his father, informing me that Tobias was in too much pain to entertain a visitor. I had never been considered a visitor before, and I had found his words weird at the time, but I was six." I said with a shrug of my shoulders to explain my young mind's reasoning. "My parents had taught me to be respectful and to abide by Abnegation rules outside of my home, so I simply accepted his excuse and left. This continued on for a few more days until my stubbornness kicked in. I knew there was something wrong, I could feel it in my bones. Since I had been born, not a day passed by where I didn't see Tobias. I knew he needed me, no matter how much his father tried to convince me otherwise, and so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I sneaked out of my house one night, committed to seeing Tobias one way or another." I felt my throat tighten immediately at what I was about to relive. I'd never told anyone what I had seen that night, not completely.
——————————————————
Sensing what was coming, Eric grasped onto my hands, squeezing them in comfort to let me know I wouldn't be alone.
I swallowed thickly one last time before speaking again. "It was pitch black that night. Abnegation always turned off the electricity after curfew to conserve energy for the rest of the factions. I didn't let that deter me though. My father had once given me a flashlight when I was four. I had been having nightmares for two weeks in a row and so my father had smuggled in a flashlight and told me that whenever the darkness got to be too much, I could use it to guide me back home. That night I left the safety of my home, armed with only a flashlight and sneaked into Tobias'. But as soon as I entered I heard a snapping sound. It had been so loud that in a panic I turned off my flashlight. I froze in place but nothing else could heard in the darkness. Finally after a few seemingly endless moments, I heard Marcus' deep voice break the silence but he was on the second floor and so I couldn't hear what was being said. Moments later I heard the banging of a door and then another until it was suddenly dead silent again. I remained where I was, afraid that Marcus might hear me if I moved too soon. I couldn't tell you how long I waited for until I finally found the courage to make my move. I turned my flashlight back on to help guide me up the stairs. I creeped up slowly, mindful of every single move I made until I reached Tobias' bedroom." I stopped again, my throat wanting to close up, but I fought through my emotions to continue. "I opened the door to his bedroom but it was dark, darker than the rest of the house and so I couldn't see anything. Stupidly remembering I was holding a flashlight in my hand I swiveled it up and around the space, finding it completely empty. For a moment I stood there utterly confused, but I knew Tobias had to be in there. Where else could he have been? And so as lowly as I could mangage, I whispered his name…" I closed my eyes then, shutting them tightly and feeling an ice cold shiver take over my body.
Eric moved his hands up and down my arms trying to return warmth into my body, but I pressed on. I had to get this out. "And then I heard him. The lowest whimper I'd ever heard but one that echoed the loudest and straight into my soul. And then he said my name." I could feel a tear running down my cheek, the same pain piercing my heart like it had that night so many years ago. "I turned my flashlight towards his bed. It was still empty just like it had been when I first entered but this time, just a single fingertip edged its way from underneath. I dropped to my knees to shine my light so I could see him better and that's when I found him, balled up into a tight little ball, so small I wasn't sure it was really him. To make sure, I said his name again, and then he moved… just a fraction but enough to catch a glimpse of his eye and I knew without a doubt it was him. I choked on a sob at the misery he displayed with just a fleeting glimpse of his eye, but I reached forward grasping onto his hand. He held mine so tightly I thought he would break my fingers, but I didn't care. I held on just as tightly and tugged him to me, as gently as I possibly could, begging him in the lowest voice I could manage to come to me. He moved slowly and whimpered in pain with every movement. I was forced to lay the flashlight down on the ground to help him with both hands. His once light brown pajamas were coated throughout with darker colored patches and when he fell into my arms all I felt was a wet sticky mess, but I paid it no mind. All I could think about was getting him out of there…. but Tobias could barely move let alone walk. He told me to leave him. He told me to escape before his father caught me and did the same to me as he did to him. He begged me to let him go and run back to the safety of my parents… but I refused. I couldn't leave him there. And so I maneuvered him onto my back, I gave him the flashlight to hold so he could guide us out while I carried his weight, whispering the same words my dad had once said to me. I half dragged, half carried his body down the stairs. Stumbling and almost falling more times than I could count, but finally after what felt like an eternity we reached the bottom floor and headed straight for the front door. But my hands couldn't open the door while holding onto Tobias' weight, and Tobias was barely holding onto the flashlight while his other hand was holding onto me as best he could. So I laid him next to the door and reached for the door knob, prying the door open. Freedom, I thought, and then I got to my knees to pull Tobias onto my back again, but that's when I heard Marcus' voice. I swiveled around in utter fear as he spoke, 'Where are you going, you little brat? Taking something that doesn't belong to you.' He said. His voice was cold, devoid of any emotion other than anger. I'd never heard him sound like that before. Up until that day Marcus had been like a second father to me, but in front of me stood a man I could no longer recognize. 'Leave now and I won't hurt you, but if you touch that little shit one more time I will break you more than I did him.' He threatened. I was scared, really scared, and Tobias was too. He was shaking against me, begging me to listen. He told me he loved me and then pushed himself away from me so I would leave him behind. But I couldn't. I was scared but I was more terrified by the thought of never seeing him again, of never getting a chance to see him smile or to hear him laugh at some stupid thing I did or said. And so I stood my ground and looked Marcus dead in the eyes responding with my own threat. His front door was already open, and so I threatened to scream loud enough to wake up everyone in town if he dared to even take a step in our direction. We stood there for an undetermined amount of time and when I realized he wasn't going to respond I grasped onto Tobias shirt and dragged him through his front door, keeping my eyes on Marcus the entire time. After that it all became so blurry… I don't remember how we got home but the next thing I remember was banging on my parents bedroom door, begging them to help me save my brother. It wasn't until my parents used the flashlight lying next to Tobias' now unconscious body that I realized what the wet sticky substance I'd felt from him had been. That the same sticky substance that was now coating my clothes and clinging to my own skin, was blood."
Eric immediately cradled me in his arms, pulling me to him after sensing the worst part was now over. I let the silent tears continue to run down my cheeks, coating his shirt in my tears. He didn't seem to care and so I decided not to either as he pressed soft kisses against my hair until I eventually settled into his warm embrace. His left hand ran his fingers through my hair while his other hand caressed my arm in comfort.
"I wish you'd never gone through that, baby. If I could I would march straight into Abnegation and kill Marcus with my bare hands for doing that to you and Four. But you were so brave, Cherry, braver than anyone in that same position would have been and at such a young age. It makes me love you even more." He admitted.
The barest of smiles graced my lips, soaking up all the love and comfort he was providing, but I wasn't done with my story. He needed to know exactly why I'd done what I did. I pulled away slightly, just enough to lean my temple against his collarbone. He allowed me to settle myself on his lap to continue with my story.
"They fixed him up as best as they could. But my dad was furious. He wanted to storm into Marcus' home to kill him and no matter how much my mom begged him not to, he wouldn't listen. It wasn't until Tobias regained consciousness and begged him not to hurt his father that my dad stopped fighting. My mom convinced him to wait to confront Marcus until Tobias was recovered from the worst of his injuries. And when he did, Tobias again begged my parents not to turn him in, afraid for his father to be banished to the factionless. My parents begrudgingly agreed and decided to threaten Marcus instead. They forced him to leave Tobias with us for the majority of the time, only allowing Tobias to be near him when it was absolutely necessary to maintain pretenses, but even during those times I was usually present. His unofficial bodyguard." I said with a little smile.
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"After that day, Tobias had become a part of our family and I vowed I would never let anyone or anything hurt him again. I promised myself I would do everything in my power to make him happy. And that promise now includes protecting Tris. It's why I fought so hard to beat her for the number one spot. I had to… especially with Jeanine present during our final testing."
We remained quiet for some time. Me trying to reign in my emotions and sort my thoughts. Meanwhile Eric tried to digest the bomb I'd just dropped on him, I bet it was a lot for him to take in all at once. I didn't blame him.
"I love you just the way you are, Bella, I always will no matter what." Eric finally voiced.
I pulled away from him then. I knew I'd left the reason for taking first place ahead of Tris kind of open, only alluding to the real truth, but I knew Eric would understand what I'd meant. I just couldn't admit it out loud and into the open space, still feeling like there was a slight chance that Eric wouldn't accept the real me. But with the words he'd just spoken I knew that he was fully aware of what I was.
He cupped my face gently in his hands before he spoke again, "I'll do everything in my power to protect you, Bella. I've made this promise before but I'll make it again. I'd kill anyone who poses a threat to you. I will burn the world and everyone in it until we're the last two standing on top of the ashes."
My eyes instantly teared up again. I only wished I could make the same promises to him as he had to me but I wasn't ready yet. All I could do now was to show him that I believed in his words and I would try to be worthy of that love he so openly showed me now. I slid my hands through the shaved sides of his head, pulling him to me to place a demure kiss upon his lips. Eric and I always kissed passionately when I was the one to initiate it, but this time I wasn't asking for sex. I just wanted him to know that I cared for him in my own way and that I was trying to open my heart to him, trying to trust him so that one day I could fully reciprocate his feelings.
He smiled against my lips.
And with that smile, he erased the darkness that had once clouded my memories in pain and fear. Mending something that had been broken for so long and filling me with a hope that maybe one day, I too, could bear my soul to him just as he had for me.