All characters from Divergent belong to Veronica Roth as well as all characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing except my version of events.
Chapter 21 Strike a Flame
I startled at the sound of my alarm, practically falling out of bed in fright. I rubbed my eyes feeling the exhaustion all the way to my bones. The hours I'd slept last night not seeming to be enough.
I moved onto my back and frowned, belatedly realizing how easy that had been. Usually I had to lift Eric's heavy arm off of me in order to move even an inch. I lifted my arm to the side and instantly felt the bed empty. I looked over and found Eric missing. Huh, that was weird. I sat up looking towards my bathroom figuring he would be taking a shower already, but I couldn't hear the water running or see the light streaming through the empty space at the bottom of the door either. Even weirder was the fact that we usually got ready together and I honestly didn't know what to do with myself now that I was alone.
It was still super early and without Eric here to distract me I had a lot of time to spare. I let myself drop back down onto my bed, deciding to rest for a bit longer. At the action I could see something fluttering up into the air from the corner of my eye. I caught it with my hand and realized it was a note from Eric.
Good Morning Cherry,
I'm sorry I'm not there to kiss you good morning but I had an early meeting today. I'll see you later after work. I'll make us some dinner to make up for it.
I love you with all my heart, more than you can possibly imagine.
Eric.
By the way, you look absolutely breathtaking when you're sleeping.
A smile broke out onto my face at his corny words, a warmth engulfing my heart at his new term of endearment for me that stemmed from my tattoo. It was still weird to experience the sweet Eric he had become since our relationship evolved. He was still firm and domineering in the bedroom, still a complete asshole when he spoke to everyone else in the compound, but with me he was completely different. I couldn't help but to feel special because of it. Feeling privileged to see the soft and gentle side of him no one else had the honor to meet.
And as quickly as the warmth invaded my being it was replaced by a pang of guilt. It didn't feel right to leave Eric in the dark. It left me feeling cold and empty. I had to tell him what was going on. I know Max warned me not to but I wasn't going to be able to keep it a secret from him for long, if at all, but it's not like I'd had the opportunity to tell him. I'd gotten home late last night and he'd left incredibly early this morning. Plus, even if he were here, what I had to tell him required more than a minute to discuss.
Feeling settled by that, I relaxed back into bed. Until I remembered I also needed to tell Tobias and since I was now busy after work this evening I would only have this morning to give him the details. Since we'd spoken about the toxic aspects of our relationship, Tobias and I had progressed immensely. After some initial trial and error we had managed to find the middle ground where we could both be happy. I had almost two hours left before I had to go into work so I immediately jumped out of bed to get ready for the day before I got lazy again. I was sure I'd still have enough time, and if our conversation lasted longer than that I could always stay a bit longer. I was sure Max wouldn't mind if I was late and I knew Tobias didn't go into work until an hour after me so we had plenty of time to talk about it, and hopefully enough time for him to digest all that information I'd dropped on him.
I got out of bed and quickly showered, getting dressed even quicker than that and using the side stairs to reach Tobias' floor. I put in the code and walked in, surprised to see Tris already up and on the couch sipping on her coffee.
"Hey, isn't it a bit early for you?"
"Yeah, but I woke up to pee and couldn't go back to sleep."
"Too much information but ok." I said, scrunching my nose up at her. She laughed at my expression but didn't say more. "Is he awake?"
"Yeah, he should be out of the shower by now."
"Cool." I said, moving towards his bedroom door without another thought. When I opened his bedroom door my eyes widened at the sight of my best friend butt ass naked in front of me. "Dam, since when did your butt start looking that good?"
"What the fuck, Bella?!" He exclaimed, grabbing his towel to cover himself.
I could hear Tris chuckling behind me from the couch. She was so used to our interactions that she usually just sat back and watched in entertainment.
"Oh, relax. Eric's is so much better." I said, waving a hand at him in dismissal.
"Really?" Tris asked from beside me now, arching a brow at me in interest while her boyfriend struggled to put on his underwear without dropping his towel.
"Oh yeah, definitely. I swear there's not an ounce of fat on that man's body. He's nice and tight… everywhere." I ended, wiggling my eyebrows at her.
"Lucky lady." She complimented.
"Excuse me, I'm right here." Tobias added in annoyance, though I could tell he was more than pleased with our banter. Tris and I had gotten a lot friendlier than we used to be, and she wasn't as annoying and uptight as she used to be either. Her inquiring about Eric's ass a clear example of that.
"Your point?" She asked playfully.
He rolled his eyes at her and shook his head with a small smile on his face. I was sure he liked her more when she wasn't so serious too.
"So, I hate to break the happy bubble this morning but… we need to talk."
Tobias' head snapped up to look at me, quickly catching the sudden change in my tone. "Is everything ok?" He asked.
I shook my head, I really did hate losing the lightness of our morning but I couldn't waste anymore time. "No, not at all." He frowned, looking even more concerned at my somber expression. "Come on, let's move to the living room. I think it's best if you both sit down for this." I offered instead of spilling my guts here and now.
I could hear Tobias curse behind me, his quick footsteps following close behind. "What's going on?" He asked once he was seated on the couch next to Tris.
I remained standing not bothering to take a seat with them. I knew it wouldn't help me in the slightest. "I went to Erudite with Max yesterday, and I found out some… concerning infromation."
"What exactly did you find out?" Tris asked this time, looking intrigued but just as worried as Tobias now.
I sighed before I started, deciding to just rip the band-aid off, I wasn't known for sugar coating things anyway. "Jeanine is planning an attack on Abnegation."
"What?!" They both exclaimed.
"I know, I know. It sounds horrible but don't worry. Max isn't going to let that happen. He's pretending to be on Jeanine's side in order to gather proof against her. He said he's going to talk to Jack Kang from Candor to get him on our side. If Jack believes him we can get the rest of the factions to join us and dethrone Jeanine from her position, before she can get a chance to follow through with her plans."
"That's insane, Bella. How the hell is that even possible?" Tobias asked, looking shocked and confused and so many more emotions I couldn't begin to list.
"She's planning to use Dauntless as her minions. She recently created a new serum. It has the power to take control of the person's mind if injected into their system. It's mind control. The person won't have a choice in what their bodies do. So if anyone tries to inject you with anything, just refuse."
"I thought you said Max wasn't going to let that happen?" Tris asked, biting her lip in worry.
"He's not. At least not with what he's planning to do, but things could still go wrong. I need you guys to be aware and to let me know if you see or hear anything strange. Max let me in on the secret so I could watch his back. He fears being betrayed by one of our own before he can make things right."
"By who? The other leaders?"
I immediately shook my head. "The other leaders don't know."
"Not even Eric?" Tobias asked.
"Not even Eric." I confirmed, "But I'm going to tell him tonight after work."
Tobias frowned at me as soon as those words left my mouth. From the look on his face I knew he was getting ready to change my mind, I also knew he was going to try to make it sound as diplomatic as he could manage. "Are you sure he's trustworthy? I mean, there must be a reason why Max hasn't told Eric himself, Bella, think about it."
I rolled my eyes. Though my relationship with Tris had improved, Tobias and Eric's hadn't by much. They could be around each other and make pleasant conversation when they needed to but other than that they didn't go out of their way to speak to each other. We've started to implement dinner dates between all four of us when we had the time but it was usually just Tris and I filling the awkward silence. I was hoping that with time things would get better, just like my relationship with Tris had. I figured I just needed to give them more time. "But I trust him, Tobias. Eric will side with us, I know he will. And it's better to have him on the inside anyhow. He's a leader too and he has more privileges than most, even me. I'm sure if he hears or sees something strange he'd let us know. We could really use his help. We have to keep Max safe and make sure no one is plotting against him. He's the only one who can stop this from happening."
He looked like he wanted to argue but ultimately conceded knowing he wouldn't be able to change my mind.
I looked down at my watch then and noticed it was time for me to go. "Alright, I gotta go. Just keep your eyes and ears open and let me know if you hear anything… Even the small and insignificant."
They both nodded and Tobias stood up pulling me into his arms. His arms wrapped around me tightly as if he were afraid he would never see me again. I was surprised to find he felt that way when we had a clear plan laid out. Tobias tended to be a lot more optimistic than I. "Be careful." He said softly, I could hear the worry embedded in his voice.
I smiled as I hugged him back, giving him a comforting squeeze. "I will, don't worry." I reassured him. I might be in a dangerous position at the moment but there was no doubt in my mind that as long as we put our heads together, everything would go as planned.
He nodded and let me go. I quickly waved to Tris and then rushed out the door. I wanted to make it on time but I knew I would be at least five minutes late. Lucky for me Max wasn't the tyrant most people thought he was and wouldn't bitch about me being a few minutes late.
"You're late." Max announced when I entered as if to contradict my thoughts. I rolled my eyes, like I didn't know that already, but when I took a look at his face I could see him smiling slightly as he looked down at the screen of his computer.
"Yes, please do pretend to care." I teased.
He chuckled lightly as he looked up at me then, frowning slightly as he took me in. "You feeling ok?" He asked.
I knew what he was discreetly referring to. I was stressed about yesterday, no doubt, but I was confident I could handle it. "Yes… it's still a bit shocking but I feel better knowing you're actively doing something to stop it. I don't want anything to happen to Abnegation and not just because my parents live there. I might've hated growing up there but its people are kind and exceedingly generous. They don't deserve what Janine has planned for them."
He nodded in complete understanding. "I feel the same way, and I will do everything in my power to protect them and the rest of the city. I promise, Bella. In fact, I'm calling Jack in about an hour to set up a meeting."
"Ok, sounds good." I said, and then abruptly yawned. I felt tired after everything that'd happened yesterday and even this morning with Tris and Tobias. It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. My mind was exhausted.
Max arched a brow in my direction.
"I'm fine." I said quickly, seeing he was readying to voice his concern.
"Why don't you go get a coffee from the food hall and take a breath? You can come back right before I make the call to Jack."
I shook my head, already dismissing the suggestion. "The work day hasn't even started. I don't need a break already."
He rolled his eyes at me, knowing taking that route was already a losing battle. "Just go and get me a coffee." He ordered instead, knowing I wouldn't refuse if it was to get something for him.
I smiled at his caring, albeit sneaky ways. "Fine."
I heard him chuckle in triumph as I left his office. I shook my head in disapproval and set an alarm on my watch to notify me of when to come back. I should probably take a nap but instead I decided to walk down to the food hall. Maybe I could catch up with my friends before they went off to work too. We still hung out together on and off but with our new jobs, we've all been relatively busy and rarely got the chance to see each other as much as we used to.
As soon as I entered my smile widened at spotting them all there. Sensing my gaze Alice turned in my direction, her face transforming into a happy smile as she eagerly waved at me, prompting everyone else to turn around too. I motioned I was going to get food first before joining them because as soon as I'd stepped into the food hall, my nose had been assaulted with the smell of breakfast and I suddenly felt ravenous. I realized in all the chaos of this morning I had forgotten to eat.
"Bella!" Jared exclaimed as soon as I neared, standing up to greet me while taking the food tray from my hands.
I smiled at the gesture. "Hey guys, long time no see." I greeted, taking my seat next to Alice who in turn pulled me into a quick side hug.
"We've missed you." Uriah started, "You've been so busy taking over Dauntless we've barely seen you in passing." He joked, though I knew there was a bit of a bite back at my absence.
"Sorry. They've got me training with all the leaders. It's been long hours so my schedule has been pretty crazy."
"So what happened today?" Felix asked curiously, wondering how I had suddenly showed up.
"I had an even longer day yesterday and I'm exhausted. Max told me to take a quick break to get us some coffee before we got started for the day. I also forgot to eat so…" I drifted, pointing down to the full plate in front of me.
They all chuckled at me. "Well, it's good to see you. I miss hanging out with you." Jared said sweetly.
"Ooooohh, we should totally plan a night to hang out together." Alice chirped happily.
"Like a party?" Uriah asked with an excited smile, always eager to get the party started.
"Sure!"
"When?" asked Felix, looking eager as well.
"Next week?"
"Sure." I agreed, "How about my place? That way you guys don't have to ask your roommates for permission." I quickly offered, needing a night to just hang out with my friends and release all the stress from my job. Not to mention I missed them too.
"Won't your neighbor be upset if we make too much noise?" Jared asked looking worried.
I rolled my eyes at the question. They've all been to my apartment before and were shocked to find out Eric lived right next door. Though we were full members, the guys were still incredibly wary of him. "He'll be fine. Maybe I can invite him too and that way he won't be able to bitch about it." I said with a laugh.
"And hang out with Eric?!" Uriah asked, sounding offended by the suggestion.
"Why not? He's not as bad as you guys think. Sure he's a dick but once you get to know him he's not so bad." I said with a shrug, receiving questionable looks from the guys. "I swear you guys. I've worked with him tons of times and he hasn't tried to murder me once."
"Still." Jared said with clear trepidation in his voice. "I don't know how much fun we'll have if he's around… watching us."
Uriah and Felix nodded, seeming to wholeheartedly agree. Meanwhile, Alice was just trying to hold in her laugh as she was already privy to what was really going on between us.
"So I guess inviting Four is out of the question?" I asked to shock them even further.
They all looked at me with wide eyes, well except for Alice. "You talk to him too?"
I laughed this time. "Uh, yeah. He's Tori's second so I see him around a lot. He's actually pretty chill once he loosens up." I said. Tobias and I were already somewhat open with our friendship, trying to make it seem as seamless as possible in front of the other members. Though I guess that rumor hadn't reached my friends yet. I wondered if this next one hadn't either. "We could also invite his girlfriend, Tris, too." Their eyes widened even further at my words and I internally laughed.
"So it's true?!" exclaimed Uriah, blinking at me stupidly with his mouth agape.
"Yeah… You guys didn't know?" I asked curiously.
"We've heard rumors he was dating Tris but neither one of us has witnessed it with our own eyes so we weren't sure." Felix explained with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Well, it's true, and they're kind of cute together." I added.
"Shit, that's crazy. Next thing you'll tell us is that you're dating Eric." Uriah joked, prompting Alice to choke on her juice.
I kicked her under the table while outwardly rolling my eyes at Uriah. I opened my mouth to respond when my watch cut me off with its incessant beeping, announcing it was time to go. "Dam, I gotta head out already. You guys plan the party and let me know the details. Oh and if next weekend doesn't work for you guys just let me know which one does." I took my tray to the trash and grabbed a coffee for Max, taking one for myself too before heading back to the leadership floor.
"Better?" Max asked as soon as I stepped back into his office.
"Yeah, thanks." I said, handing him his coffee while taking a sip of my own.
"Let me just finish with this form before I call Jack." Max said, turning his attention back to his computer.
I took the time to open my tablet and log into all of my accounts, setting up while Max finished up his paperwork. Sooner than I expected he picked up the receiver on his desk to make the call.
I moved closer, taking the seat in front of him and placing my tablet on his desk.
"Hello Melanie, is Jack available to speak with?" He asked over the phone, I'm assuming talking to Jack's secretary. "Thank you."
I remained quiet as I saw Max putting it on speaker for me to hear too.
"Max." A polite male voice answered, "I'm surprised to hear from you, and so early in the morning might I add."
Max chuckled in response, "Yes, well here in Dauntless we start our day a bit earlier than most. I hope I didn't catch you at the wrong time."
Jack chuckled over the phone too, sounding light hearted. "Not at all. Besides, it is always nice to hear from you. I would start with the pleasantries but I'm assuming this is not a social call. Need my services again?" He asked a bit cheekily.
The last time we'd used his 'services' it had been to interrogate both Peter and James. Though initiation was over now so I don't know why he'd think we'd need him for that again.
Max rolled his eyes but responded with a chuckle. "Not this time my friend and yes this is not a social call, though I wish it were."
Jack immediately caught on to the seriousness of his voice. "Is everything alright?"
"There are a lot of things I need to discuss with you that cannot be discussed over the phone."
There was a long pause on the other line. I waited on baited breath to hear what Jack would say next… I think Max was too. "That serious?"
"I'm afraid so."
"I understand. Unfortunately I am all booked up for the next couple of days and it seems as though this conversation will take more than an hour to discuss. How about I email you the details once I check my calendar and clear up some space for you?"
"Of course. No pressure."
"Great. I will speak with you later." He departed politely as he hung up.
Max shut off the phone and released a stress filled sigh.
"He sounds nice." I commented as a distraction.
He looked up at me with a smile. "He is. A bit uptight but only because he's always seeking the truth with his words. It gets annoying after a while."
I laughed at that. I could only imagine. I was sure that was the main reason Jeanine refused to speak with him herself. After all, every other word out of her mouth was a lie. I also wondered if Max would take me to meet with Jack too.
"Ok. So now that that's been somewhat taken care of, how about we start with our day?"
And so our day had gone on, and unfortunately it had been a long one too.
When my work day was finally over, I departed, having to reject Max's dinner invitation with his wife tonight. Another night I would have gladly accepted, but this time I had already made plans. So I made my way over the bridge, looking down and finding the pit filled with almost the entirety of our faction. I wondered what we were celebrating this time, not that I would attend. I'd promised Eric dinner and I was anxious to get home and spill the beans. I needed him to look out for Max and I too. Especially with the upcoming meeting with Jack Kang coming up so soon. These next few days would be pivotal in preventing a catastrophe. There would always be time to celebrate later.
But as I was climbing down the stairwell, something odd caught my attention, or I should say someone. In the shadows I could see a tall figure in all black, his hoodie drawn down over his head to partially cover his face. I could tell he was trying his best to appear invisible by walking in the shadows, but I could still see him clearly. Whoever it was, was clumsy and uncoordinated, not the kind of man I would've chosen to spy on another faction. At least that's what I was left to deduce at this point with everything going on with Erudite and Candor. My body snapped to attention, keeping myself quiet. I slowly removed my work bag trying to place it on the ground without making a sound. I opened the flap and took the gun Max had given me yesterday. Luckily the music coming from the pit was loud enough to hide my movements. I realized it was also the reason why Mystery man had been able to hide in plain sight for this long.
I held the gun in both hands pointing it towards the unknown form in front of me as I silently got closer, trying to get near enough to reach for them and hopefully catch them unaware. But suddenly the figure slipped on the wet rocks underneath his feet and looked about ready to fall into the chasm. I managed to slide my gun into the waistband of my jeans before I leaped forward, grasping onto the hood on top of his head to pull him back from the ledge. I needed him alive, at least long enough to question first.
He stumbled back with a jerk and I used the opportunity to flip him over me, trapping him under me with my knees on his hands and my forearm pressing down against his neck. He let out a choked cough making his hoodie completely fall off his head this time, instantly revealing his face to me.
My eyes widened, recognizing him instantly. "Edward?" I asked in surprise, laying off the pressure on his neck but still not releasing him from underneath me.
"Oh thank God it's you, Bella." He wheezed out in relief.
"What the hell are you doing here?!" I shouted in a whisper.
He opened his mouth to explain himself but he couldn't with my weight still somewhat on his neck. He tapped my arm for me to release him and I shifted back, giving him more room to sit up. He let out a relieved breath before speaking. "I came here to warn you." He said, sounding almost desperate.
I frowned down at him in concern, "Warn me about what?"
"They're coming for you." He said ominously.
"Who?"
"Jeanine... He ordered someone to eliminate you."
I knew Janine wasn't happy with me being with Max but damn, I didn't think she would work this fast to get rid of me. "Just me?" I asked, wanting to know if she only suspected me and not Max too.
"Yeah. She said you couldn't be trusted."
Well that makes sense. "Ok but how do you know all of this?"
"You saw me there, Bella, I'm one of her assistants. I've been working with her since I passed initiation."
I narrowed my eyes at him in suspicion. "So you're helping her with her plans?" I asked, to clear things up now before I took him to Max and either helped his case or made sure he was punished for his traitorous actions.
"No. Not anymore. Not when I found out what she was planning against Abnegation. She only told me a few days ago, I guess she needed to make sure I was on her side since I'm originally from Abnegation. I pretended to agree with her until I could figure out what to do, but then she had a meeting with one of your leaders this morning and I knew I had to take action. I couldn't sit still anymore."
My eyes widened at the revelation and I swallowed thickly before I asked the question already burning my throat. "Who?"
"The leader named Eric."
My heart stopped beating at his name. I swear I couldn't breathe anymore, like there was a giant rock crushing my chest.
It couldn't be…
"Are you sure?" I just had to ask, he couldn't be right. There had to be some type of reasonable explanation for this.
"Yes." He said firmly. "He comes to Erudite every month or so. He's one of Janine's henchmen, or so I've heard through the grapevine. She gives him orders and he completes them. I work closely with her now. I was in her office yesterday getting a file when I heard them come in. I hid and overheard their conversation. She called you a Divergent and ordered him to kill you… I know I'm risking my life and faction by coming here to warn you but I couldn't let him kill you, Bella." He admitted, grasping onto my hand and holding it tightly in his.
I wish I could convince myself that Edward was lying, but no, he was telling the truth. I could see it in his eyes. Edward could never lie to me, even when he'd thought he had learned how to. My body felt frozen. Immediately losing any warmth and excitement I had previously felt at going home to Eric. I just couldn't comprehend how this could possibly be true. A part of me wanted to deny what I had heard so that it wouldn't hurt to know the truth, but I knew I couldn't. I couldn't deny that this was real and that this was happening right now... but it just didn't make any sense. Eric had promised to protect me. He'd vowed to protect me from everything and everyone, and he had, he had protected me even from myself and my own self-destruction once before.
But now this?
It changed things.
No matter how painful the truth was, I had to reconsider whether Eric was the person he had said he was…
But I couldn't think about that now. Not when I needed to focus on the person sitting in front of me and what I was supposed to do right now at this very moment. Should I take him to Max? Should I hide him in my apartment?
No, I couldn't risk Eric finding Edward there… not before I got the opportunity to get some answers. It also didn't escape my notice that Edward had risked everything to come here to warn me. I needed to protect him too. I needed to make a decision that would keep him somewhat safe too.
"Go back to your faction." I ordered.
"No, Bella!" He practically yelled. I covered his mouth, placing a finger over my lips motioning for him to be quiet. We remained silent for a beat longer and when I didn't detect anyone coming I spoke again.
"I can protect myself." I whispered. "I found out yesterday what Janine is planning to do. It's why she wants me dead. She doesn't trust me. But you can't stay here Edward. If anyone catches you here they'll kill you and I'll be questioned or killed too. It's better if you go back. I need you on the inside... Here take this." I said, removing my watch with shaky hands and handing it over. "You can access my emails from there. Just go to the drafts and I'll leave unsent messages there. You do the same if you hear anything else, Ok?"
He looked at me with wide eyes then. Looking utterly terrified of the job I'd asked him to take. But he needed to do this. If he'd heard of the plan of my murder then I was sure he would hear other things too. We could find out Jeanine's other hidden plans in order to keep our own safe. "I'm scared, Bella. I don't know if I can do this." He admitted.
I connected eyes with him and grasped onto his face. "Yes you can, Edward. I believe in you. You're smarter than I am and you'll figure it out as you go. I need you there. I'm making a plan to bring it all down but it's gonna take some time. I need you there to keep me informed of everything. Please." I practically begged him. It was better to send him back to Erudite. If he got in and out undetected then he could pretend to still be in on Jeanine's plans. I also didn't want to keep him here and for him to find out of Max's involvement. It would risk too much. Jeanine could potentially figure out his plans if one of her assistants suddenly went missing. And if worse came to worse and she found out what Edward had done and decided to interrogate him, at least she wouldn't know of Max's involvement too. Only I would be compromised and she already wanted me dead anyway.
"Ok. Just keep yourself safe… and my sister too. If anything were to happen to either one of you…" he said, drifting off as if not wanting to finish that thought.
I pulled him into me and hugged him tightly, trying to reassure him and me too. "We'll be fine. Don't worry. Just go back and be careful."
He hugged me just as tightly.
After a quiet moment I let go. "Come on." I said, helping him get to his feet. "I'll help you get out of here. You were so loud I'm surprised no one found you before I did." I lightly joked to dissipate the tense atmosphere and the almost crippling emotions currently assaulting me.
"I didn't get caught. Maybe I'm better than you think."
"Or they thought you were drunk." I said with a fake chuckle, signaling for him to follow me.
He rolled his eyes, following closely behind. I took him to where my journey here in Dauntless had started. I knew there was a pair of stairs leading up to the roof on one side of the net so I could show him the way out through there. I led him up and guided him out, bypassing the train knowing he wouldn't be agile enough to take that route.
Before he left, he pulled me in for another tight hug. "Be careful, Bella." He said quietly.
I could detect the obvious fear in his voice, but I didn't know if he was more nervous about me or himself. "You too, Edward. And thank you for caring enough to risk your life and faction for me." I said honestly.
He pulled away and reached for my face, gently caressing my cheek with the back of his hand. "I had to, Bella. When I saw you there yesterday… I realized how much I still loved you… I've never stopped." He admitted openly.
His declaration of love brought my emotions back to the surface, my eyes tearing up instantly. I bit my lip to keep my emotions in check. Love was a lie, just like I'd suspected all along. But I couldn't tell that to Edward, not now when I needed him the most. So I just smiled and watched him quietly disappear into the night.
As soon as he was gone I dropped down to my knees in utter pain and confusion. So filled with hurt, rage, and betrayal. So many emotions currently swirling inside my heart that it felt almost impossible to deal with them all. I had never felt this kind of pain before, so all-consuming. It was something I had never prepared for… nor thought I would ever need to prepare for at all. I never thought Eric would do this to me. Not after everything we've been through.
But Eric had lied. He'd lied all along.
It was hard to come to grips with that, to realize that the man I had come to care for deeply had betrayed me in such a brutal way, but I knew I had to if I wanted Max to succeed.
I just couldn't understand.
Why had he lied? Why had he fooled me into a relationship with him? I mean, what was the point? Was it just to play with my emotions, to make me fall for him so that he could not only kill me physically but emotionally too?
I wanted to break down. To cry and scream up into the skies just to release my emotions out into the world. To make the world feel the pain I was currently feeling and disappear into the night so no one could ever find me. To escape not only the emotions but the weight of it all from toppling me over. I had thought Tobias' betrayal was the worst pain imaginable, but no, this was worse. So much worse…
It wasn't fair.
I thought I would find myself here in Dauntless, that I would find the happiness and freedom I have been craving all my life. And then not only did I find that, but I found so much more. I found Eric. The man who had vowed to protect me against all. The man who promised to burn the world to keep me safe… and it had all been more lies. Every single word out of his mouth had been lies. His touches had been lies. Every moment we'd shared together had been lies.
Everything had been a lie.
The only truth here was that Eric had needed me for something. It was the only reason as to why he had formed this fake relationship with me. Just the thought of it filled with me with an overwhelming rage, an anger that finally provided the reprieve I needed from the pain of his betrayal. He'd needed something from me and I needed to find out what. I deserved that much.
Filled with purpose I got up to my feet, dusting off the dirt from my knees and calling upon my long ago built-in defense mechanism to protect myself from the pain. The only thing reliable in this world was me. Eric had gotten me to lower my guard, but deep down it was all still there for me to quickly access.
And he didn't know who the fuck he was messing with.
I walked back into Dauntless looking around warily. I didn't feel safe anymore. I wasn't safe anymore. I was sleeping with the enemy and to top it all off, Eric might not be the only one who was out to kill me. Jeanine could have easily sent more or Eric could have ordered someone else to do his dirty work for him. I couldn't be sure of who was working with him or if he was working alone. I needed to find out.
In the back of my mind I knew it was stupid. The smart thing for me to do was to go to Tobias and tell him of what I've found out. We could take him to Max and let Max deal with it. But I couldn't do that. Not when I needed answers. I needed to know why he'd used me. Again, so utterly stupid. I shouldn't care for the reason. I shouldn't care that he'd broken my heart into a million pieces for his own agenda. I needed to focus on the bigger picture, but it was hard to do with my pain in the way. I couldn't think straight, but I knew I had to face this head-on.
I was suddenly thankful to have my gun with me. I couldn't confront Eric without a weapon. I might be stupid but I wasn't a complete moron. Eric was much bigger and better fighter than me. If he attacked I wasn't sure if I would come out of it alive, but I was going to get answers even if it killed me. If I survived the confrontation then I would call Max and let him decide what to do with Eric then.
I arrived at my apartment faster than I thought possible. I hesitated in front of the door, thinking over my decision and reconsidering whether it was the right thing to do. I needed answers… but I found I was suddenly terrified to get them. I knew I wasn't going to hear anything I wanted to hear. Nothing that would make it any better. Nothing that would take away the pain currently consuming me. If anything it would make it worse. I would have to confront the man that had not only lied to me but that had used me and broken my heart in the process. But I knew I would regret it if I let Max take over and I was deprived of the opportunity to get my answers.
I needed to do this.
Filled with determination I input the code and opened my apartment door.
"Hey, I planned it right on time." Eric immediately spoke up as soon as I stepped through the threshold. He took a quick glance at me, too busy with what he was currently doing to notice my mood.
I let the door close behind me but remained by the door, taking in the scene before me. Eric was pulling the food out of the oven, putting it on top of the stove and getting the plates to begin serving.
It hurt just to look at him. Moving so comfortably in my space without a care in the world
In my fucking apartment.
I suddenly wished I would've called Max first before coming here.
I didn't want answers anymore. I just wanted to pretend like this night had never happened. Like Edward had not escaped his faction to warn me of my upcoming murder. It just hurt too much to bear. Maybe I should just pretend like I don't know… it would hurt less to have him kill me while I was unaware. Maybe he would kill me in my sleep to spare me the pain, or maybe he'd poisoned the food he was about to serve me to kill me quickly. Then again… did I mean enough for him to spare me the pain?
Maybe not.
When I didn't respond or get closer he turned to fully look at me, tilting his head in question as he analyzed my demeanor.
"What's wrong?" He asked, pausing with his movements. I knew I should say something but I couldn't. There was a giant knot stuck in my throat and I wasn't sure if any sound would come out even if I tried. Seeing me standing there without saying a word he began to move toward me. "Baby-"
"Don't." I whispered out, surprised I had managed to utter even a single word.
He stopped immediately, more than just simple concern taking over his features now. I could tell he was confused as he looked at me like I'd lost my mind
… I think I had.
"Why?" I asked simply, trying to hide the pain behind my words.
A deep frowned marred his previously happy expression. "Why what?" He asked, but when I didn't respond he tried again. "Baby, what's going on?" He asked, taking a step forward again.
"I said Don't!" I yelled this time.
His eyes widened at my outburst and he immediately stopped again. He opened his mouth to speak but I didn't bother letting him ask another useless question.
"You lied, Eric. You lied about everything. And now I want to know the truth."
I could see his mouth shutting closed, his body locking at my words. I could almost see his emotions playing out through his eyes, but could I really when I apparently hadn't known him like I thought I did?
He took a hard swallow before he opened his mouth to speak again. "Baby–" He started again.
I closed my eyes in pain. "Stop calling me that!" I exclaimed. I felt like my heart was about to implode, taking all the life I had left inside of me. I opened my eyes again but I could feel them tearing up already. I swallowed the hurt. I couldn't cry. Not right now. "Just tell me the truth. I need to know."
I knew at that moment Eric had realized I knew who he really was. That I knew of his betrayal of not only me but our faction too. "I wanted to tell you." He said thickly, swallowing hard. "God, Bella, there were so many times I wanted to tell you but I didn't want to lose you."
This time I snorted at his words. "Bullshit. You're planning to kill me Eric!"
"How do you know that?" He asked looking so confused and utterly surprised.
I looked at him with pure hate in my eyes. "Does it fucking matter?" I questioned rhetorically.
"I was never going to do it!" He said instead. "I only said yes to Jeanine because I was trying to buy some time for Max to go through with his plan to convince Jack to be on our side."
How the fuck would he know that? "I don't believe you. Max said you didn't know. He said he couldn't trust you and now I know why."
"I'm telling you the truth, Bella." He pleaded. "I would never hurt you."
"You've lied about everything, Eric!" I accused. "Why the fuck should I believe you when you've been lying to me this whole time?! You made me let you in! I told you about my past. You could've used that same opportunity to tell me you were only pretending to work with Janine, but you didn't!"
"I was scared." He admitted. "Baby, I–"
"I told you to stop fucking calling me that!" I yelled again. "Stop pretending! Just stop it!" I screamed, a tear managing to roll out of one eye. I angrily wiped it away. He didn't deserve my tears. He didn't deserve anything from me.
"Please just let me explain." He pleaded with his arms up as if showing me he didn't mean me any harm. Too fucking late for that. He'd already shattered my heart into a million pieces. "I'll tell you everything you want to know B– Bella." He stuttered out, stopping himself at the last minute from using that stupid fake term of endearment. We both knew it was bullshit now. I don't know why he was still trying to pretend. "Let's just sit down and I'll tell you everything… I promise." He said softly, starting to move towards me again.
But this time, I couldn't fathom being near him, and so I reached behind me to pull out the gun hidden in my jeans, aiming it straight at his head. "Don't." I said coldly, removing the safety. You could almost hear the click echoing in the empty space. "Don't fucking move or I swear I will shoot you."
His eyes widened and he stopped, frozen in place, a torrent of emotions crossed over his features but I didn't bother to analyze any one of them. It was all an act anyway.
He didn't love me. I knew that now and he couldn't lie to me anymore.
None of it had been real.
"Your promises mean nothing to me anymore." I said emotionlessly. "I don't know why I thought I needed to get answers from you… I was wrong." I said with a self-deprecating chuckle. "I don't need anything from you, not anymore. Why bother when it's all gonna be lies anyway?"
He flinched at the accusation, his eyes beginning to glisten. "I'm telling you the truth, Bella." He said softly, almost brokenly. "I know you can't trust me anymore… and I know it's my fault. But I swear I'm telling you the truth now. I love you so much, Bella. Please, I can't lose you..." He whispered at the end.
He looked so sincere, but he had proved to be such a good actor that I couldn't believe anything I was seeing. "You already have." I admitted, my voice ringing out loudly in the quiet space.
His face displayed apparent pain but I didn't believe it anymore. It had all been an act and it still was. He'd managed to fool me from the start. He'd used his body to lure me in and I had been stupid. Then he'd caught me at my most vulnerable moment and taken advantage of my momentary weakness, using my pain to get me to believe in him… in us.
I wasn't going to let him do that again. Not this time.
I reached into my bag to take a hold of my tablet. I was so done with this conversation. I just needed to contact Max and get him to take over.
"What are you doing?" Eric asked quietly, looking utterly defeated. He didn't even attempt to move as he saw me reaching for my tablet.
"Contacting Max. I don't want to deal with you anymore." I stated bluntly. I'd said I didn't need anything from him anymore and it was true.
I was done.
I was startled when a beeping noise rendered into the quiet space, until I realized someone was trying to make contact. I glanced down at my tablet noticing it wasn't mine. The ringing stopped then but it quickly started up again. Now that I paid closer attention I noticed it was coming from behind me. I glanced back quickly, finding Eric's tablet sitting on top of my coffee table. "Who's calling you?" I asked suspiciously, still pointing the gun at him. My eyes narrowed at his face, but Eric was just standing there, not looking at all like he wanted to move.
"I don't know." He said quietly.
I took a few steps back, trying to reach the coffee table without losing Eric from my sight. I bent down and flipped his cover open.
"Why is Felix calling you?" I asked, narrowing my eyes again. What the fuck was going on?
His body immediately came alive again, his eyes widening in alarm. "Bella. You have to let me answer it right now." He said quickly. "Please." He begged desperately, his foot taking a step forward. "I know you don't trust me but I have to answer it."
The ringing stopped again but quickly started up just the same.
His eyes looked wild now, his eyes moving erratically between me and his tablet. "If you don't trust me, then you do it, Bella." Eric pleaded almost desperately "Please just answer it." He begged again.
Why would he offer me to answer?
I felt so confused now. There was just so much I didn't know. I wanted to hear him out and get an explanation but I couldn't trust he would tell me the truth… but maybe Felix would. I looked down at the tablet in suspicion, releasing one hand from around the gun. I reached down to answer it, but before I'd reached the button, the front door burst open. Before I could aim and press the trigger the first black figure was already disarming me.
"Bella!" Eric screamed in panic.
But I paid him no mind, I didn't have the time. My fight or flight instinct was kicking in and I lifted my leg up to kick the closest figure away from me. I swung my fists at my next attacker but only hurt myself in the process. They were all covered in black armor from top to bottom, wearing protective face masks to shield their faces. There was suddenly too many of them and I quickly realized I wasn't going to win. Still, I kept fighting, swinging my fists wildly and desperately trying to get away. I could hear Eric struggling nearby, still screaming for me. I felt multiple hands pulling my arms behind my back to restrain me, but I leaned my weight on them to lift my legs up to kick the ones in front of me. It didn't work. I could see the covered bodies of my attackers closing in on me. I looked up one last time, making eye contact with Eric's terror filled eyes before a cloth appeared in my vision, covering my nose and mouth. I suddenly felt so tired. My vision beginning to darken until I had tunnel vision, the center dot getting progressively smaller and smaller until it turned completely black. Eric's panick filled cries were the last thing I heard before I fully slipped into the darkness.
A/N: Did you guys see that coming?
I've been dying to let you guys in on the secret and it's finally happened.
Let me know what you guys think and keep those seat belts fastened because it's gonna be a bumpy ride.