All characters from Divergent belong to Veronica Roth as well as all characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing except my version of events.
A/N: Oh man is this a long ass chapter! I considered splitting it into two but I figured you guys more than deserved it untouched for patiently waiting almost a whole month to get a new one. I'm so sorry about the delay but life, as you all are more than aware of, is unpredictable. I've been very busy and unfortunately my story has suffered because of it. I know I also said I would post it yesterday but I was stupid to think Sunday would work for me, so I'll probably be posting on Tuesdays from now on. It's just easier for me to edit properly that way.
Anyways, I'll leave you guys to it. I'm really not trying to add to the word count on this chapter but you guys deserved an explanation.
OH! And this chapter has been primarily inspired by Eric. I've been listening to the song Burial Plot by Dayseeker. It just explains everything I believe Eric is feeling at the moment. It's still all in Bella's POV but I think it helps to give you a little bit of an insight as to what's going on in his head and how he's feeling about it too.
Much love to you all!
Chapter 27 A Gaping Emptiness
No one spoke for a long time.
I think everyone was still trying to process what had just happened.
I also wasn't sure how long it would take for us to get back home but I figured it would be a while and so I took a seat closest to the cockpit, and the furthest away from Eric. He might've saved us from that prison but that didn't mean I would so easily forgive his betrayal…
In fact, I wasn't sure if I ever would.
Trust was everything to me.
I couldn't love or care for someone who had broken that trust. It was hard for me to care about anyone in the first place and so that deep seated betrayal felt as though it had severed every tie once connecting me to Eric.
The only thing clear to me now was that I couldn't trust him, and that was more than enough to keep me away.
"Sorry I didn't tell you." I say softly to Tobias, feeling as though I'd damaged a bit of our trust too.
Except Tobias instinctively reached over to take my hand in his in reassurance. "It's ok. I know you couldn't. I just wish I would have known so I would have been prepared." His brows furrow together as he stares off into nothingness. "To be honest, I think I'm still in shock."
"I know what you mean. I was aware something was going to happen and yet I'm still in shock too." I admit openly.
"At least we get to go back home."
"The only good thing to come out of this horrid day."
And it was true, but also, in all the chaos I hadn't been able to process what had really happened…
to process what I had done.
I had been running on instinct and self-preservation to get me and my family out of danger. But now that I was sitting still and my brain was starting to work again, I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed.
I had killed people.
Actual living, breathing, human beings.
I know since I'd arrived at Dauntless I've been trained to prepare for such an occasion. But one thing is preparing for an event that might never occur, and a whole other thing to actually follow through with it. I know I had done what I did in self-defense. I was only saving myself and my family from the malevolent plans Aro had planned for us. I wasn't aware of what they were exactly, and a part of me wanted to ask to find out but the greater part of me refused the thought. What I was going through right now was more than enough, and knowing the facts wouldn't make it any better.
Still, I couldn't help but to feel guilty for what I had done...
I had murdered people.
There was blood on my hands now.
I might not be able to physically see it but I knew it was there nonetheless.
A slow shiver runs down my spine at the horrific thought.
I feel my hand being squeezed and my eyes shift to Tobias' again. "Don't dwell on it." He says softly as if he can read my mind. "We did what we had to do."
I bite my lip and shake my head. "I can't help it." I admit, connecting my eyes to his and finding my conflicted emotions reflected in his. "You feel it too." I state without question.
"How could I not?" He says, looking down at the ground for a moment before he releases a harsh breath, looking up at me once again. "Everything we've learned so far has been in theory, but nothing could prepare us for the real thing. We can only make peace with it now… and it's not over." He reminds me unequivocally.
I release a stress filled sigh. He's right of course, this is just the beginning.
At the moment, everything feels like it's happening all at once. One minute I'm in Dauntless, finding out that Erudite was trying to destroy Abnegation. I find out that the man I was practically living with was associated with Jeanine and was ordered to kill me. Then I'm ripped away from my home, abruptly exposed to the secrets of the world and I realize my life- since I'd been born to this earth- was nothing as I'd thought it had been. Now my once lover has formed a rebellion to get us all out, heading back to a fractured home to try to convince everyone of the truth of the outside world in order to prepare us for an upcoming war.
It would be nice if a girl could catch a break around here.
Not able to sit still after that revelation I stand up again, moving to the opening of the cockpit to focus on what's up ahead. Watching the stormy red clouds over the dead lands we're flying over with not a single soul in sight.
"How are we approaching this?"
Startled by Tobias' loud voice sounding so close to me, I turn toward him, realizing he'd not only followed me but was now looking behind us, directing his question toward Eric who sat further back.
Thank fuck he took the lead on this one, because I didn't feel brave enough to direct my attention towards him at the moment.
How the hell were we supposed to get our people to listen when we were basically just dropping in out of nowhere? It will be an absolute shock to their system, not to mention they would already be on edge over what recently happened with Erudite and Jeanine.
Everyone's eyes are on Eric now as he stands up from his seat and moves towards the cockpit too. "There's really only one way to approach this." He says without hesitation, holding onto the roof of the aircraft as he leans forward over the pilots while we all watch the speck of Chicago slowly coming into view far in the distance. He reaches over to the controls pressing various buttons before removing a radio connected to the control panel, pressing another button on the side of the device. "We will be approaching Chicago in stealth mode. Those of you equipped with invisibility activate them now and fall back. Those who are not, build a formation behind our vessel, keep your distance and lower your speed. We do not want to appear threatening in any way."
The aircrafts that were once surrounding us fall back, more than half of them disappearing from sight altogether. And as we near the city, hundreds of small floating black spheres appear one by one in front of us, suddenly moving to the side as we approach to immediately grant us entrance.
"What are those?" Tris asks curiously.
"An invisible barrier that surrounds the city keeping Chicago safely away from the outside world."
"So even if we would've tried to leave the city we wouldn't have been able to?" She asks incredulously.
He turns to look at her then, a relatively guilty look taking over his features when he answers firmly with a resounding, "No."
I wanted to laugh so I wouldn't cry. This was absolutely ridiculous. I couldn't wrap my head around every bit of new information I received. I mean, I know it was one thing to hear it from their leaders, but it was a whole other thing to see it with our own eyes. The evidence of their control over thousands of unsuspecting people, clueless as to what was really going on in the real world.
Even now I could see the black orbs reclaiming their place in the air behind us once all of our aircrafts had passed through the barrier.
We glide over the fence we had once thought would protect us from outside attacks, floating over the city as if we belonged. I could see people leaving the safety of their homes to look up into the sky. I could only imagine what they must be thinking… or feeling. When I'd first seen the aircrafts in Volterra I had been amazed, astounded by discovering all that was there, but this was different.
The aircrafts currently flying above the city probably looked like foreign monsters appearing out of thin air. A menacing force coming to destroy everything in its path.
"Head straight for the Candor building. The leaders are still interrogating prisoners suspected of being associated with Jeanine." Eric orders.
At our approach I can see the roof of the Candor building quickly filling up with Dauntless soldiers, their guns pointing directly at our aircrafts with steady determination in their faces.
Again, I realize how poorly we've thought this through, belatedly realizing what a big problem this was going to be to get them to even listen to us. Because if I were them, I would shoot first and ask questions later.
We were going to need to figure out quickly how to make it out of these aircrafts safely. We'd just escaped the shit show that was Volterra, I'm sure having lost many of our own in the process. We couldn't risk losing more so willing to risk their own lives to save us.
And there was only one way I could think of to get them to listen.
"Let me out. I can talk them down."
Every single face turned to me with a frown of concern, some looking at me as though I'd lost my mind altogether.
"It's too dangerous." Eric says immediately. "I'll do it."
"No." Was he an idiot? "They'll shoot you down as soon as you step one foot outside. They still suspect you of my murder after Jeanine's trial. I realize how crazy it sounds, but I know it's the only way to get them to stand down. They won't immediately shoot if they see it's me. They'll give me a chance to explain before they take action." I reassure confidently.
Eric quietly rolls over my words, though I know what his answer will be immediately, so I rack my brain to find more reasons as to why it's better for me to go out first when Alec speaks up.
"She's right, Eric. They won't automatically shoot when they see it's her. And we don't have much time to come up with a better plan. The camera feeds to Volterra will go back up any second and Aro will activate the memory serum over the city. We need them to comply quickly so that Caius and Carlisle can shut down the systems in time. It's the only way."
Wait, what?
It would've been nice if they'd told us that earlier. Leave it to them to continue to leave us in the dark as per usual...
Sensing this Alec throws me an apologetic look. He's lucky I know we haven't really had the time to disclose everything in all the chaos and destruction we'd left behind. We'd barely managed to get out of there alive and then had just enought time to pry information out of Eric during our flight here.
Eric looks instantly angry over Alec's support of my idea, running his fingers through his overgrown hair in aggravation, but then he closes his eyes for a moment as if trying to get himself together. In the end releasing a sharp breath before begrudgingly nodding his assent. He reaches over a compartment on the roof of the cockpit near him and pulls a little box out, pressing a button on the control pad in front of the soldiers driving the plane and then pulling out a small little button from the box. He moves over to me and hesitates for a split second before he moves my hair out of the way and presses the button-looking thing behind my earlobe.
I almost shiver at his touch.
"It's an earpiece. We will hear everything you say but you will also be able to communicate to us. Let us know when it's safe to get my father and Carlisle into Erudite. It's where the computer mainframe is for all the systems, including access to the gas chamber that will release the serum into the air through the thousands of vents around the city." He informs me. "But do it fast, Bella. We might have left Volterra's top floors in shambles and installed a computer bug to temporarily block Aro's control over Chicago but after the shock wears off I'm sure he will be working double time to gain access to the city again." He says fervently with that look on his face that means business.
I silently nod, taking the gun Alec had given me before our escape and handing it over knowing I couldn't face Max with a weapon tucked into the back of my pants.
Eric clenches his jaw, his vibrant green eyes ardently watching at the silent confirmation I would be going out without any form of protection. Just with the faith that my presence alone would be enough to keep the shooting at bay, at least long enough for me to find the right words to convince them to listen to our plea. He silently takes the gun from me, his fingers grazing mine as if he can't help himself.
I pretend to be unaffected as I move to stand in front of the doors to the aircraft, pushing past the zing of electricity I felt at his touch, ignoring the rush of emotions burning my heart as I've grown accustomed to. I raise my hands in the air as the doors slowly slide open to reveal me to the army in front of me.
There is a chorus of stunned gasps heard all around me as they all watch me being slowly revealed. My presence here back home had done exactly what I had intended for it to do. It'd shocked them enough not to respond immediately with their weapons, sure they are all still being cautiously pointed at me but none of them make a single move to attack.
Once the ramp from the aircraft slowly shifts out from the floor beneath me, I walk forward with my hands still in the air to show I mean no harm. Reaching the end of the ramp I jump off and land smoothly onto the Candor roof, remaining frozen in place.
It isn't until I hear Max whisper my name softly that my body loosens a fraction, "Bella?" He says, moving slowly forward as if he can't believe his own eyes, confusion evident in his features.
At his non-aggressive approach I decide to speak, "Hey Max."
I take a cautious step forward and when I receive no signs of opposition, I bridge the gap between us, stopping just a few feet away from him to give him some breathing room. He surprises me when he completely ignores the space I've left and pulls me straight into his arms. I initially gasp in surprise at the emotional welcome from my leader but immediately wrap my arms around him too.
"I thought you were dead." He whispers, his arms slightly shaking as they hold me close.
I had never expected this kind of emotional welcome. Especially not from my fearless leader, my once unshakeable mentor. It almost breaks me right then and there to witness first-hand the pain I had caused with my absence. I know my departure had been out of my control as I had just been another pawn in this fruitless game Aro had created. But I also couldn't help but to feel guilty for causing that kind of pain onto those I had come to care for along the way. "I know, I'm sorry, but it was all out of my hands."
He pulls away at my vague explanation but remains close, "What's going on? What are those things?" He asks, his eyes shifting to look behind me at the numerous magical vessels floating in the air.
"There's so much to explain and so little time." I admit, biting my lip and chuckling softly when I figure the best way to explain it quickly is to be blunt. "I sort of got kidnapped by the outside world. It's a really long story to explain, and I promise I will go into detail soon, but we're running out of time. I need you to trust me and let one of our aircrafts fly over to Erudite right now."
"Why?" He asks immediately, a wise leader first and foremost.
I understand his trepidation, he had every reason to be, in his shoes I would be too "For now all I can tell you is that the outside world is real and there's a city out there that wants to do us harm. They have access to all of our systems. Before we left someone was able to break their connection to us to give us enough time to escape and make it here safely, but it won't work for much longer. I know the mainframe is all centered in Erudite. I need you to allow one of our aircrafts to get into Erudite to disable the cameras permanently and to gain access to a hidden gas chamber that will release a serum into the air that will erase everyone's memories. I know it sounds crazy, and I understand it's a hard concept to grasp, but I need you to trust me like you've done before. Please." I beg.
He stays quiet for a long nail-biting moment.
I was starting to fear he would deny my request when he suddenly nods sharply.
"Go." I order into my earpiece. Almost instantly, one of our fleet of aircrafts moves slowly out of formation and directs itself straight to Erudite. I immediately identify it as the small one carrying Caius and Carlisle. I release a somewhat relieved breath, not really believing it had been that easy. It went to show just how much trust and faith my leader had in me, it was an incredibly humbling experience.
"Now will you tell me what the hell is going on and what the hell those things are?" He asks more seriously now with an arched brow, his eyes shifting to the aircraft behind me and to the others formed just behind that. I was thankful he wasn't yet aware of the many more floating nearby, hidden behind their invisibility shields.
"Yes, of course, but the surprise isn't over yet I'm afraid. There's more people inside those ships that can explain everything much better than I can. Do you agree to let them come out safely?"
He silently nods again, probably because he's already trusted me with access to the controls over the city through Erudite, that it would be stupid to deny me anything else at this point if it meant getting more answers.
Without needing me to inform them, I hear footsteps along the ramp behind me, followed by multiple bodies landing on the edge of the roof along with me. Another round of gasps are heard from the Dauntless still in attack position in front of us as they watch my companions slowly exiting the aircraft.
Max's eyes narrow instantly as he takes sight of Eric trailing the back. He waits for him to be near enough to hear him before speaking his thoughts. "If Bella weren't standing in front of me alive and well right now, I would have shot you myself without a second's hesitation." He informs Eric coldly.
And because I can sometimes be a brat even during life threatening situations, I throw Eric an 'I told you so' look over my shoulder which he wisely ignores as he speaks directly to Max. "I would never hurt Bella." He says back, his eyes slightly shifting to mine for a weighted second.
I scoff at the ridiculous statement, knowing how devastatingly wrong it had been, earning a look from Max and I'm sure from Tobias and the rest too. I don't bother to look behind me to confirm my suspicions.
"Should we move this inside?" I question once we were all safely on the roof.
Max, thankfully, agrees with my suggestion. "Stand down." He orders everyone else on the roof with us. I can now see our fellow Dauntless shaking off their dismay, some moving back into the building now that the coast was clear from immediate danger. That is except for a small group of people who instead of walking away, move closer.
I smile as I gravitate towards them.
"Hey guys." I say softly.
There is a chorus of Bella's heard around me and then I'm suddenly lifted off my feet, enveloped in the arms of my dear friends. I wasn't even sure which one had hauled me off the ground first, not that it mattered. I giggle slips from my throat, finding it comforting to have my friends' unfailing support enveloping me once again. My eyes almost water with emotion.
"I can't believe you're alive." Alice whispers, her voice wavering as she speaks, I could practically hear the tears in her voice.
"Yeah… sometimes I can't believe it either." I joke rather darkly.
"It really is her!" Uriah exclaims happily, as if my words had been the confirmation he'd needed that I was standing here with him. My presence in and of itself not having been enough.
I chuckle at his reaction, finding how much I'd missed how eager he always was to put a comedic spin on any dark situation. I pull away, finding myself suddenly on my own two feet again, but not released from their hold as Jared somehow manages to keep me close to his side. "I missed you." He says sweetly and so filled with emotion it warms my heart even more.
I look up at him and smile happily, missing the easy smile he always has for me. "I missed you too." I say, lightly kissing his cheek. "All of you." I admit openly, looking around me at all of my friends and the people I have come to love so much… one of the many reasons I had desperately wanted to come back home for.
From here I can see Tris in a similar position with her own friends. Her blinding smile is one I could shamelessly relate to at the moment.
We all hear a rough cough nearby and turn to look as one, finding Max's stern look of disapproval, trying to patiently wait for our reunion to end but wanting us to move it along so we could get to the nitty gritty. Still I can see the happy twinkle in his eyes that foretold how glad he secretly was to have us all back. "We need to move this along to talk to the rest of the leaders in private."
From behind I can see Eric moving forward, recapturing Max's attention. "Actually, I think it's best if we skip all of that and move onto the trial." Eric corrects. "You won't believe me when I reveal my past without the truth serum. I need it to convince you all of what I speak of is the truth."
Max looks at him in surprise, though he hides it well, but everyone else doesn't bother to hide the shock from their faces. Max looks about ready to protest but I nod at him, silently letting him know this is the best course of action. He acquiesces but adds his own condition, "You will understand my reluctance to trust you." Suddenly motioning two of his soldiers forward to take Eric into custody, both soldiers standing on each of his sides as they hold his arms firmly secured behind his back.
Eric doesn't look surprised nor does he attempt to fight it, looking as though he'd expected that outcome from the get go.
The Dauntless soldiers lead him in first and we all follow after them. Taking multiple rides of the elevator to get us all to the floor with Candors auditorium where they perform their truth serum trials.
As soon as we stepped off the elevator, there are multiple cries of our names. My eyes automatically shift to the voices I would recognize anywhere.
I see my mom and dad pushing past the crowd gathered to get to us. Tobias and I automatically move forward, our bodies immediately engulfed in their warm embrace mere seconds later. I can hear my mom's painful cries over the commotion around us but everything ceases to exist as soon as I feel the comforting warmth of their skin on mine.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" I repeatedly say, my voice breaking with those words and my eyes shimmering with unshed tears. I can feel my dad's large hand on the back of my head, the noticeable quiver of his emotions vibrating off of him in waves while my mom is openly sobbing as she holds Tobias and I against her small body, squished in the middle but not seeming to care in the slightest. It's painful. Not only to see but to feel the devastation they had felt at thinking we were dead.
I would have done anything to prevent that from happening.
When we finally pull away I reach over to wipe the tears from my mom's face, while my other hand holds onto my dad's hand tightly.
"I'm sorry you guys believed we were dead. Trust me. If I would have had anything to say about it, I would have never let that happen. I'm sorry."
My dad roughly clears his throat as he shakes his head, "Then you shouldn't be sorry. We're just glad you are both alive and here with us again."
"We are." Tobias finally speaks, "But there is so much we have to tell you..."
"There's always time for that later." My dad reassures him immediately.
But Tobias and I only exchange looks. Both knowing this would be the only opportunity we would get, before the trial, to personally tell them something vitally important.
"There is something we have to tell you first. Before it comes out for everyone to hear…" Tobias starts, trailing off and waiting for me to continue on.
I release a harsh breath and motion for them to move to the side to give us the illusion of privacy. "I wish we could be alone for this… but I have no other choice but to tell you here and now, before you find out during the trial. The truth is that… I'm not your biological child, Dad."
He blinks back at me in shock. I don't think he ever expected for those words to come out of my mouth. Meanwhile my mom just shakes her head, looking clearly offended by what I'd just said.
"Bella, that is absolutely ridiculous. Charlies is–"
But I cut her off before she can say more. "It's the truth. We were taken by the outside world, by the people who have had the power to control the going on's of this city. Those people had the power to infiltrate our city all those years ago to inseminate you, after your marriage to Charlie. You were just an innocent victim… like Dad too… I really am your biological child, Mom… but I'm not Charlie's."
My dad was looking blankly at me the entire time. I feel Tobias' reassuring hold on my hand as we wait for his reaction. I frown at the silence. I hated that I was forced to admit something like that so directly and without tact. Unfortunately, it was either this or they found out about it during Eric's trial. Which I knew would start soon, I highly doubted Max would take a second longer to get the answers he was desperate to hear.
Finally, after what felt like forever, my dad suddenly pulls me into his arms, his hands tightening around me and squeezing me into him. "If that's true... It doesn't matter, Bella. You are, and will always be, my daughter." He says softly, lovingly. "Just like Tobias is my son too."
I tearfully chuckle into his arms, feeling Tobias' joining into the hug along with my mom too. It's then I finally allow a few tears to be released in relief before taking control of them again.
It isn't the time to let my emotions take over, whether good or bad, we have a lot of shit to deal with at the moment and that took precedence over everything else. But I couldn't help but to lighten the mood by playfully speaking to my father, the same way I always have when dark emotions threatened our family dynamic. "You know, I always knew you would say that." I say with a mischievous smile.
He chuckles, playfully punching my arm when I break the somber mood, my mom simply rolls her eyes but also smiles indulgently. Though she still looks slightly confused and still in somewhat disbelief over what she'd just heard. I was hoping she would come to fully understand everything once Eric's trial commenced and she was able to hear the whole truth once and for all, from someone that wasn't me.
A light clearing of a throat nearby pulls us out of our family bubble as we all turn as one, finding Tris and Edward along with their parents, Andrew and Natalie Prior.
"I am happy to see your children are well." Andrew speaks kindly to my father, just as he always does.
"Thank you, and I share the same sentiment. It is good to see you both well." My dad says, speaking the last part to Tris and Edward. He hesitates for a single moment before he bites the bullet, asking something so personal he knows he shouldn't be asking in the first place. But at this point in our lives, fuck politeness, and fuck the faction system while we're at it too, "Did you tell th–?"
"We did." Tris confirms immediately, as if she doesn't want those words out to save her parents the pain of hearing it again.
"It is a shock but it does not change a thing." Andrew immediately conveys.
My dad nods to Andrew in understanding and respect.
"I apologize for interrupting, but we are about to begin with Eric's trial shortly." Max suddenly cuts in abruptly, but ultimately turns to look at me directly. "We need you with us in the leaders section, Bella, Charlie and Andrew as well."
My eyes widen slightly but I immediately nod. I hadn't expected to be welcomed back into the fold so easily but I wordlessly follow after him, hearing the rest following close behind.
The hall outside of the auditorium is filled to the brim, making it hard to make our way to the doors while members from all factions crowd together, facing a wall with screens displaying Eric sitting in the same chair Jeanine had been during her trial.
"We're broadcasting it throughout the city." Max informs me as I look up at the closest screen in confusion, a light panic gliding under my skin as I remember watching the trials once before but through the screens of Volterra. "There's not enough room in the auditorium for everyone to sit and Eric made it clear it was important for the entire city to view his trial." Max says as he walks beside me, then he turns his head over his shoulder to our families. "We've secured seats for you all inside."
I was thankful he'd been mindful of that. I wanted our parents to witness the truth live. I wish I could have more gently spoken the whole truth to them in private, but that was not the kind of life we lived, not privileged with the gift of time any longer.
My dad, Andrew, and I follow after Max, leaving the rest at the bottom steps of the podium, but not before receiving one last comforting squeeze from Tobias before we separated. I appreciated it more than anything at the moment. I would need all the encouragement I could get for this next part.
I traded a quick look with my father as he took his seat with the rest of Abnegation's leaders and Max motioned for me to sit on the side just behind the leaders standing in front of Eric.
But before I take my seat I hesitate for a moment, my eyes drifting further to the side as I find Alec and the three other soldiers, who'd helped us escape Volterra, standing with their hands tied behind their back with Dauntless soldiers guarding them nearby. At my concerned expression Alec quickly mouths "It's okay" before I get the chance to protest. I begrudgingly nod and take my seat, shifting my attention and graciously accepting the well wishes from my fellow Dauntless leaders sitting beside me. It's comforting to see their openly happy expressions as they welcome me back home. It felt so good to be home again, surrounded by people I knew cared for me.
I had forgotten what that felt like...
As I look forward once again I am ensnared in Eric's gaze.
He sits proudly in his seat, even while knowing he's enemy number one at the moment, hated by all those present and far beyond these walls. It doesn't shake him for a single second. It's clear he's here on a mission.
Once the auditorium settles and a foreboding silence takes over, Jack Kang finally steps forward towards Eric and the crowd. Wordlessly announcing the commencement of Eric's trial, much like he had for Jeanine's.
"We have decided to pause the Erudite trials due to the unforeseeable circumstance all of you have witnessed just outside of your windows. The leaders and I want to remind you to keep a steady head as we all join together in our discovery of the truth. We are here today to speak with Eric Coulter, one of Dauntless' prior leaders, who is suspected of consorting with Jeanine in the destruction of the faction system. Eric has requested for his trial to be heard by all factions as he proclaims his past is one we must all hear in order to gain a true understanding of the current situation." Jack then motions for the same woman, who had administered the truth serum to Jeanine, to step forward to do the same for Eric. Except unlike Jeanine, Eric sits willingly, going as far as tilting his head slightly to the one side to give her clear access to his throat.
The woman injects him and then simply moves away, melting back into the crowd.
Jack waits for a full minute to allow Eric time to adjust to the effects of the serum before he begins. Eric's neck muscles strain slightly, the tendons visible through his skin, but other than that shows no other form of discomfort, sitting still until he finally looks up at Jack, his eyes now slightly glazed over with the effects of the truth serum.
"Please, state your name."
"Eric Coulter."
"And where were you born Eric Coulter?"
"In Abnegation."
Max leans forward and whispers into Jack's ear before he retakes his previous position. "Your former faction leader states you transferred from Candor."
Eric hesitates for a single moment before speaking. "He's right, I did. But that was only after I had been reentered into the faction system by the outside world."
There is an immediate low murmur at his pronouncement, people sitting in the audience whispering softly to each other with clear confusion in their faces.
"Please be more clear, Eric." Jack orders.
"I was born in Abnegation, but my biological father is one of the leaders of Volterra, a city located not far from here. He artificially impregnated my mother, who died at childbirth, and took me from Chicago to live with them the day I was born. Before the choosing ceremony I was put back into the experiment to neutralize the war Jeanine was slowly creating behind the scenes, and to attain direct access to city. A problem the leaders of Volterra have found impossible to overcome from afar."
"Experiment? What do you mean by that?" Jack asks tentatively.
Eric looks straight at Jack before admitting the truth about our not so small little world. "Chicago. This city we live in, functioning through a faction system, is really an experiment. A city created by the outside world."
"What do you mean?"
Eric hesitates for a moment, he grunts slightly, his eyes swiveling up to the roof as if the effects of the serum were making him woozy, but he stubbornly holds on, shaking his head to shake it off before speaking again. "I would like to start at the beginning. May I?"
Jack looks behind him to the other leaders, silently asking them if that would be alright. When they all nod in the affirmative Jack acquiesces, "Please do."
Eric goes into detail then, repeating the same history lesson Aro had given us in Volterra. About genetic modification and how it had led to an unstoppable war around the world. He then explains how our city had been initially created and why.
It's dead silent as he goes over the facts, giving a chronological order of events. I can see the crowd around him looking on in shock and disbelief. I don't blame them. I've heard all of this before and it was still a shock to the system to have to hear it all over again.
"... it's why I was working for Jeanine." Eric admits. "Aro had sent me in to find a way to pacify Jeanine and to prevent the destruction of the faction system, since the structure of this city has become vital in the progression of their experiment. I hadn't been aware at the time that Aro was only using me for his own agenda, sending me in to gain access to Bella, Tobias, Tris, and Edward. They were all pawns in Aro's game to gain power… including me."
There's an eerie silence when he's finished. As I look around me I can see the shock everyone has been frozen in as they'd avidly sat listening to Eric's story. It took them almost a full minute to completely process before suddenly everyone stood up as one, screaming unintelligibly as they all tried to be heard over one another.
Much like in Jeanine's trial, the group of Dauntless soldiers around the podium tightened their formation to prevent people from reaching Eric or any of the other leaders. I could hear Jack trying to calm down the audience below us, as well as the uproar of the crowds just outside of the auditorium who had watched the trial through the screens. Just hearing their reaction through the doors I dreaded the uproar I was sure was currently taking over the city. And if someone didn't get things in order soon we would be facing absolute chaos and possible anarchy within our city walls even before Aro stepped foot in it.
I was with them on this one, though. I remember how I, too, had reacted to the truth. Of course it had been a bit more personal for us since we had discovered the truth of our biological parentage, but still, everything else had been a slap to the face too.
But now was not the time to panic, we needed to keep our wits about us. And this was not the time for a fight between us when we had to stand together to fight against a bigger enemy.
Knowing they wouldn't calm down on their own until they were corralled by an aggressive authoritative figure, I stood up, slipping beside Max and grabbing his arm. He looked down at me with wide eyes. I could see he was overwhelmed by what he'd heard and by what was currently going on around us. But Jack couldn't do it alone and Max needed to use his name and commanding presence to calm the flurry of people clamoring in a panic.
"You have to take control." I order him, not feeling at all regretful for speaking to him without deference. "I know this is a lot to ask from you but you need to do this. They watched you take down Jeanine, protecting the city from a major catastrophe. They trust you more than anyone here. You need to use that to take control or else they won't listen."
For a moment he silently stares at me, an unknown emotion crossing over his features before his eyes clear at my words and like the fearless leader I know him to be, he nods sharply, moving forward to take the stage for Jack.
"Everyone listen up!" He yells, his booming voice echoing in the auditorium. "If you do not calm down and take your seats we will cease this trial immediately and end the transmission!"
The Dauntless portion of the auditorium immediately sits down at hearing our leaders' orders. Always following his command like the soldiers we were trained to be. Seeing this, other faction members slowly begin to follow suit, following their lead and lowering their voices until it is silent once again.
When it is respectfully quiet, Max begins to speak again. "I know what a shock this is for you all to hear. Trust me…" He encouraged, taking a hesitant breath before continuing. "I am just as shocked as you are, but in order to continue we need to stay in control and united as one. We as leaders collectively decided to uphold Eric's request for an open trial, feeling it was your right to be told the truth along with us. But if you cannot handle it as calmly as we had hoped you would, we will rescind this decision effective immediately!"
It's eerily quiet at his proclamation. I secretly smile to myself in my seat. I've seen that glare and heard that commanding voice of Max numerous times since working under him and I never envied being on the receiving end of that glare. Today was no different.
Max then turns to Jack signaling for him to continue but Jack shakes his head, deferring to him instead and motioning with his hand to take the stage again. Max simply nods and his eyes focus on Eric one again.
"Those ships that came with you. Why are they here?"
Eric answers without hesitation. "To protect you from the upcoming war Aro will wage upon you."
"Why?"
"As you might have surmised, Aro's greed for power transcends all. He's willing to go against everything our ancestors have built in order to seek revenge for the destruction of his metaphorical throne. The people in those ships came to help us protect you from Aro's wrath. Now that he's lost his most precious possessions, he will stop at nothing to get what he wants, and in the process he will destroy the little world he thinks belongs to him."
Max frowns deeply at his words, watching Eric with critical almost doubtful eyes, "But why come help us?"
"Because we do not believe you should continue to be kept in the dark as you have been for centuries. We refuse to allow for Aro to continue to use you as he has. You all deserve to know the truth and to be given the opportunity to decide how you wish to live your lives, to decide whether you want to stay here or venture out into the real world outside. You all deserve the freedom to choose for yourselves." He announces.
A flicker of pride surges within me at his words. I'd never expected those words to come out of Eric's mouth. He sounded so different from the man I'd thought he was, and yet I wasn't necessarily put off by it either. He sounded like a man who cared, who thought about others and not just himself. It was so different from the way I had once viewed him.
But it was also another stab to the heart.
With every word he spoke I only realized just how little I knew him. Of how much of a stranger he was to me. And it wasn't even the words that were coming out of his mouth, because the words he had spoken made me think more of him. Made me respect him for the way he viewed others and was willing to fight in order to provide people the freedom to choose...
What bothered me was realizing I had fallen in love with a complete stranger.
I had fallen in love with someone who didn't really exist.
I couldn't lie to myself any longer, not at this moment…
because I was completely and irrevocably in love with Eric.
To place exactly when it had happened, I couldn't really say. All I knew was that along the way I had fallen for the cold, indifferent, leader of Dauntless. The man who was an absolute asshole to everyone but me.
And there was clearly something wrong with me if that was the case.
Was I so detached from the world that I had fallen in love with someone who didn't care about anyone? Who treated others like bugs under his boot that he could so easily stomp on?
It sounded so twisted now…
But somehow it had happened.
And now he was practically admitting to my face that all he had been was a fake. Everything he'd told me about himself had been a lie. I mean I knew that since I'd found out the truth through Aro but it suddenly seemed so real now, something almost tangible. Eric had simply played the part Aro had told him to play in order to get him into the position he needed to be in. He'd played a fictional character that didn't exist. And that hurt a lot... more than anything ever would.
Sensing there was more, Max tilted his head in question, his eyes analyzing Eric's form and quietly thinking over it. Those same critical eyes trained on him as he took in every feature of Eric, from the bottom of his shoes to the top of his head. When he finally sees something the rest of us don't, he suddenly speaks again. "Is that the only reason you are so willing to help us?" Max asks finally, knowing there was more he wasn't saying.
Eric hesitates for a moment, his eyes shifting to mine as if he hadn't meant to. He silently watches me, taking in every feature of me as if he'd been deprived of it for years.
It makes me feel exposed when he does that, like there is nothing I could ever do to hide from him. I feared he would see my thoughts and feelings as if they were his own so I shift my eyes away from him, unable to face what he might find within me. It feels like an eternity as he takes in every single one of my features, though I'm pretty sure it's only been a mere second since he'd started. "Partially." He finally states. "The people in those ships came for that purpose... But not me."
There's a low whisper starting throughout the auditorium but it quickly dies down with a sharp look from Max. "Why are you helping us, Eric?" He asks coldly.
Eric's eyes never waver from mine as he answers. "Because of Bella."
My eyes slightly widen at his proclamation. And I suddenly feel the eyes of everyone in the auditorium directed straight at me too as if it were a physical force. But I'm too shocked by the admission to care too deeply.
"Bella Swan, one of our Dauntless leaders?"
"Yes." Eric says firmly. Not a hint of hesitation or doubt in that one single word.
"Why?" I knew Max was aware of the reason, he could tell from the intense look Eric had maintained with me throughout his admission, but he wanted it to be clear for everyone too.
"Because I'm in love with her."
I swear, if my heart weren't attached to my body it would have surely jumped out of my chest at his proclamation. He was really doing this.
Right now…
in front of all these people…
at a time like this…
I swallow hard but find I can't look away.
Eric was making it clear to me now with his own words, under the truth serum so that I wouldn't doubt it for another second. And it worked perfectly, because now I couldn't deny it, but I wasn't sure if that would be enough to sway my feelings on the matter.
"Are you in a relationship with Bella?" Max asks bluntly.
A look of pain crosses over Eric's features at the question, as if he couldn't help it. "No." He says painfully, "Not anymore... I lied to her about who I was and kept the truth from her, even though I knew she deserved to know the truth." He admits soulfully, then his eyes shift to me again. "I should have told her everything but I didn't… and now I will have to live with the consequences of my own actions for the rest of my life."
I can feel my chaotic emotions crawling to the surface but I push them quickly down again. Remaining stoic at a time when I could so easily crack. He'd just admitted something so painfully intimate in front of all of these people. And for what? What did he expect me to do with that? To cry and run to him? To forgive him for the lies he's told and for dragging me along like the uninformed idiot I have been all along?
Why was he doing this to me?
I look away from him, grinding my teeth behind my lips, unable to bear the pain he was inflicting onto me again.
Why couldn't he just stop hurting me?
Max clears his throat to gain everyone's attention again, moving away from Eric's personal declaration. "Is there anyone who can corroborate your story?"
I can almost feel Eric's defeated sigh from my seat as his attention finally shifts away from me. "My father, Caius Coulter, one of the three leaders of Volterra. He will not only corroborate but also give you a deeper insight into our world, one even I am not privy to."
Max nods firmly and then signals for Jack to bring the trial to a closing.
"Eric Coulter, thank you for your Candor."
As soon as we were dismissed I'm out of my seat seeking a quick escape. I weave through the masses, trying to get lost in the crowd though I know how unsuccessful that is. I just needed a moment to myself, just a minute to get my emotions back in control and face the leaders I knew I had to in order to get everyone organized before Aro attacked.
Like a sign from heaven, the red exit sign blares brightly in the already bright lights of Candor's building. Feeling as though it was calling to me, like it knew I needed the escape, saving me from my heart breaking more than I'd thought it was capable of, I continued to weave through until I reach the door and pull it open wide enough for my small body to fit through before shutting the door closed behind me. I release a harsh breath, and then another, but they begin to come quicker each time until I feel like I can't catch a breath.
I hold onto the metal railing in front of me, the back of my mind realizing I was by the stairs but not a single part of my conscious mind caring over the fact.
I just needed to breathe.
Right now, at this very moment, that was all I needed.
Oxygen.
Breathe it in, Bella.
Slowly I somehow gain control, the ringing in my head over the lack of oxygen slowly dissipating until I can only hear my own breathing again. I almost couldn't believe I'd managed to pull myself from the brink of a panic attack on my own. I felt suddenly proud, convincing myself it was proof enough that I was still the strong bitch I've always been, but it's short lived as I suddenly hear the door open and close behind me.
"Bella-"
My body moved of its own accord, seeking an escape from the cause of my pain.
"Please don't run from me." The gruff voice pleads painfully, desperately.
I stop just a few steps up the stairs, my hand grasping for the railing again to stop me from swaying. "I can't do this right now, Eric."
"Then when?... Baby, I–"
Again, that fucking word. I turn on him in anger. "I've told you not to fucking call me that!" Every time he called me that it felt like he was carving another hole into my already dead heart.
He flinched away, not having expected my anger, but he doesn't look away from me. "Ok." He says softly, trying to placate me. I'm sure he is more than aware that I'm currently on the verge of breaking. I acknowledge how obvious that is, and though I want to hide it, there is no way that I can. "I just need a minute to explain. You can't run away from me forever, Bella."
"I'm not running away." I contradict angrily. "I just don't want to waste my time listening to any more of your lies."
"What I said in there wasn't a lie and you know that." He says firmly. And he's right, because I can still see it, that light sheen over his eyes that lets me know he is still under the truth serum's effects even now.
"And you expect that to be enough? To erase all you have done because you love me?" I ask incredulously.
"No, of course not." He defends, looking down momentarily in shame. "I know I've lied about everything since I've met you. But I wanted you to know that I never lied about my feelings for you. Those were all real." He watches me silently but when I don't give him anything, not even a response, he continues. "I've been in love with you for so long, Bella. Even before I met you."
"Stop with the lies Eric." I order in frustration now.
"No, it's true…" He says trailing off for a moment. "I've always wondered what my life would've been like if my father if had left me in Abnegation. If you would have seen me and we would've instantly known that we belonged together. Because as soon as I was consciously aware, my first sight of you through the screen had bound my heart to you indefinitely. I'd felt it even then."
I scoff at the ridiculousness of his words. "You were a child Eric. You hero worshiped me, just like everyone else in Volterra did. They all acted like they knew me because they watched me grow up through the screen. But they don't know me." I grit out.
He silently took a step forward then, reaching for me for a fraction of a second before he thinks better of it and drops his hand. "But I know you, Bella. You might be partially right. I might have worshiped you for how you saved Tobias from the brink of death. To an eight year old boy that was the most amazing thing I'd ever witnessed in my short life. I admired your strength and your tenacity, your ability to not let your faction convince you to be the way they wanted you to be. Yes, I watched you through the screens every day and it was because of you that I wanted to become a part of that. That I worked so hard to gain the skills I would need to survive in Dauntless. To have the privilege, a chance to meet you in person and be able to be in your presence, to somehow breathe the same air you did. But once inside… things were different. I was now a part of a world that was actually real… you were real. But don't pretend to clump me in with everyone else in Volterra, Bella, because you and I both know that I know you more than anyone… maybe even more than Tobias."
I scoff and roll my eyes, No one knew me better than Tobias.
But Eric keeps talking without hesitation. "I know that without me you sleep curled up into yourself, like even during sleep you're protecting yourself from the world, but as soon as you feel me near your body uncurls and moves like an unseeable force is pulling you to me. I know that you let me wash your hair in the shower because you know how much I enjoy it. I know that you sometimes wake up before I do but you don't move until you know I'm finally ready to wake up too. I know that your left eyelid twitches when you're annoyed with someone and you're trying really hard to stay professional. I know you willingly work long hours because you're dedicated to your job, dedicated to being the best leader you can possibly be." As he talked he moved progressively closer, taking miniscule steps so that I wouldn't notice. But I noticed each one. I could feel the heat of his body and the way my body inturn responds to his nearness. "I know you are strong, confident, and the scariest woman I, or any other man, has ever met. But when you're with Tobias, or your friends, you almost melt into this warm and caring being that made me grateful for every second I was able to spend in your presence." He closes the sliver of space between us as his hands cup my face, his thumb slowly caressing me delicately.
I knew I should pull away but my body surrenders at his touch. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to fight what I was feeling while my mind was fighting against my own body's reaction.
"Tell me you don't feel it" He begged lowly, the sound of his voice sounding like it'd been squeezed from his throat. "Tell me that you didn't feel the instant connection when you saw me for the first time on the roof of Dauntless. I dare you to tell me you didn't feel it, Bella… because I did. It was then I realized how much I really loved you, that my feelings for you my entire life only paled in comparison to what I felt at that moment. You have no idea how much I wanted to break character in that instant, to let myself fall into this unexplainable urge to tell you everything. To bear my soul to you so that you could love me too. And if I hadn't known you would think I was absolutely insane, I would have done it. But I knew it would ruin any chance I would ever get at gaining your affection. Still, I began thinking of ways to tell you the truth, even before anything had happened between us, but I knew Aro would immediately pull you out in order to keep Tobias and Tris blissfully unaware, and I knew you would hate me for being the reason you were taken from Tobias' side." He admitted. "Every scenario in which I told you the truth resulted in you losing something you loved. I could never do that to you, Bella."
"That's not true. Using me was part of your plan all along." I say, shaking my head stubbornly.
His fingertips tighten slightly against my scalp as if he needed me to hear what he was going to say next. "Aro never suspected of my feelings for you, Bella, we were never supposed to have direct contact with one another. Not outside of the training room. And I tried to resist you, Bella, to protect you from me, from the consequences that would inevitably come from being with me. It was why I was so angry all the time. Why it always seemed I was angry at you and the rest of the world. It wasn't fair. I had you so near me and there was nothing I could do about it. It was unbearable." He corrected me. "Until one day I couldn't take it anymore and I told my father of my feelings for you, though I'm sure he'd already known long before I had been placed in the experiment. I told him I couldn't stay away from you and that if he cared about me at all he needed to find a way to help me. He's the one who helped me intercept the camera's to keep my interactions with you a secret from Aro."
A pain-filled tear fell from my eye, his thumb instantly moving to erase it from my skin.
"I know I hurt you, Bella, more than I can even comprehend. And if you just give me one more chance I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that you can trust me, to prove to you that my love for you is real."
"Eric..." I cried, feeling more tears streaming out endlessly, beginning to shake my head while still in his grasp.
"Tell me you don't feel it." He says tightly again, almost painfully. "Tell me you don't feel the same pain I do. Every second I spend apart from you feels like a part of my soul is dying." He admits, his voice breaking throughout. I could hear him swallowing thickly with emotion, waiting for my response. "Tell me you don't feel anything and I will leave you alone."
A sob breaks out of my chest and I let him finally see the pain he had inflicted. What was the point in hiding it at this point?
He pulls me into his chest and squeezes me tightly, trying to comfort me in any way that he can. "I love you so much, Cherry." He says painfully, as he digs his face into my neck, breathing me in as if I could breathe life back into his soul. I can feel his own tears soaking my hair now too.
I wanted to forgive him. God I wanted to be in his arms forever. To be here in his embrace for the rest of eternity. I'd given him everything of me, unknowingly but I had done it nonetheless. I'd fallen in love with him so deeply I couldn't even see the end. And I wish it could be enough. That our love for each other would be enough to hold us together. That somehow it could erase all the pain and hurt he had caused with his lies.
But I couldn't.
I stubbornly held on to the idea that if he would have told me himself, things would have been different. He said he loved me but he didn't once act like it. Not when it really mattered. He'd said so himself, his father had found a way to hide us from the cameras. He could have told me the truth and Aro would have been none the wiser. The truth of the matter is that Eric chose not to tell me the truth. It wasn't because he was protecting me from Aro. It was because Eric had been selfish and careless, not giving a single thought to my feelings. He never gave me the chance to make my own choices, to allow me the right to reject or accept him for the lies he had told. Instead he had manipulated me to keep me by his side. He'd lied effortlessly and without remorse… not until now, not until he had felt the consequences of his own actions first-hand.
And with that in mind I ripped myself away from him. "It's not enough!" I yell angrily. "You still lied! You still pretended to be someone you weren't. You admitted that openly just now at the trial. The man I had thought I felt something for never existed, Eric. Those feelings I had were for someone who doesn't exist." He's shaking his head at my words, his face looking pained with each word I throw. "You could have told me the truth. You could have told me in secret who you really were. You and I both know our relationship had taken a sharp turn after the end of initiation when I told you everything about Tobias and I and our past. I opened up to you completely, Eric. Because I wanted what you were so openly offering. But you didn't do the same. You kept yourself hidden from me. Pretending to be the person you thought I wanted. You never stopped pretending."
There's a painful silence at my words. Like I'd not only slapped him in the face but also stabbed him in the heart too. His face breaks completely, going through a myriad of emotions I couldn't detect all at once. Anger, frustration, love, defeat…
"Bella– That's not– I– God!" He finally screams out dropping to his knees in front of me.
I was a few steps up the stairs and so Eric's once imposing, formidable body seemed so small from my view up here. Seeming to be suddenly so far away. He was shaking his head, his hands rubbing over his face and pulling at his hair in aggravation. As if he didn't know what else to say to get me to believe.
Then it was like his breath had been suddenly sucked completely out his body, his hands suddenly falling uselessly onto his lap, looking up at me in utter defeat and not even bothering to hide his pain or to wipe away the tears marring his beautiful face. "I need you, Bella… God, I don't know what else I can do or say to make you believe in me again. Maybe I never will..." He states solemnly, looking at me in utter desolation. His shoulders drooped in resignation, every muscle in his body surrendering below me...
Like there was nothing left for him to live for, to fight for.
It hurt to see it, I knew it shouldn't but it did. His brokenness only added to my own, his pain becoming my pain. I wanted to drop to the floor with him, to sag in defeat and devastation just as he had. It would be easier wouldn't it?
To just give up and let the wave of defeat overcome me, to let it pull me under to never resurface from it again. To shut it all away, to not feel anything at all. Maybe growing up I had been right all along. Keeping myself away from everyone had been the right way. Because in a way I'd allowed Eric to hurt me by letting him in.
It was my own fault, really. I was the one to blame for this. But I could fix that now. If I shut it all away it would make everything better. I know I'd said I never wanted to be that person again, but now it suddenly seemed like it was the only way.
But just as I thought thought it some unknown emotion flickered in his eyes. He still looked in pain but there was a determination slowly brewing as he watched the surrender in me too. His body suddenly coming alive, and then he shook his head fervently as if deciding at this moment it wouldn't be the end. "No." He said passionately, as if he were saying no to many things all at once, his eyes focused solely on mine as he stood up. Without hesitating he cupped my face, his face invading the space in front of mine. "This isn't the end. I'll fight every second of every day, Bella. You can push me away everytime, you can cut me with your words, make me hurt just as much as you do. I deserve it. I know I do. But this won't be the end… there will never be an end to us. You are the only one who owns my heart. It will only ever belong to you. For the rest of my life on this earth, it will only ever be yours."
And then he kissed me.
My heart stopped and I gasped in shock, but Eric only took that opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth. He shivered at the feel of it, and so did I. Like our bodies had zapped some unknown force between our bodies on an endless loop.
His hold on me tightened, his mouth taking everything from me with steel determination. Just like it always did.
Because Eric had never given me a chance to say no. Not when it came to his body. Not when it came to pulling that passion out of me. Only he could do that. Make me forget everything and everyone, even my own name. Everything just ceased to matter, everything ceased to even exist because all I needed in this life was his body touching mine.
I was getting light headed at the intensity, like I couldn't catch a breath again. Eric pulled away long enough to allow us to pull more air into our lungs. And with the breath I took I felt my body suddenly come alive, my body reacting on its own accord in response without intending it to.
My hands weaved into his hair and I lost it, crushing my body into his as if I could dig a hole into his chest and push myself into it. Eric didn't seem to mind at the action, if anything he welcomed it, one of his hands slipping from my face to place it against the arch of my back. His grip was intense as he pushed me into his body so fiercely I knew it would leave a bruise. But it didn't matter. It had been so long since I'd felt Eric's heat on me, to feel his strength and warmth so close to my own. My legs lifted and wrapped themselves around him as if our bodies would someone blur into one. I couldn't resist it. Not when I felt the heat of him so close to mine. Burning me in a fire that was all consuming.
My heart beat with his. My breath became Eric's. Everything that I was and ever would be became so intertwined into the person he was and all I wanted was the here and now.
I just wanted him.
I wanted my Eric.
But that single thought shot a pain so sharp into my heart that I thought it would give out from the attack. Because I didn't know who my Eric was, if he even existed, that name belonged to the body currently holding me but it meant nothing to the person that was underneath the skin.
My body tensed and I felt myself shutting down internally.
Feeling this, Eric's grip tightened as he shook against me but he slowed down until he pulled his lips away from me completely but kept his forehead pressed firmly against mine, leaving me with no other option but to look into his eyes.
I thought I would see defeat again but I was surprised when I saw the complete opposite. "I'll make you believe in me again, Bella." He said fervently, forcing me to believe in it too. "I know it seems impossible now but…" He paused a moment closing his eyes for a split second before he connected them to mine again, an almost imperceptible smile gracing his lips. "I believe in us, and for now that's more than enough. I love you, Bella. You and I were meant for so much more than this and even if I have to crawl on my hands and knees on broken shards of glass to get to you. I'll do it. It will always be you, Cherry, forever." With that being said he pressed his lips firmly against mine for an almost endless moment before he let go, unwrapping my legs from around him and turning his back on me to walk out the same door he'd once stepped through and leaving me alone once again.
It was eerily silent in here, and for a moment I began doubting myself, thinking I might have just hallucinated the whole thing…
But the tingle still running along my lips and the lingering heat left from his body pressed against mine, told me otherwise.