There's Something About Bowsette
A/N: I'm SO sorry for the lack of updates, everyone! I had an insanely busy series of weeks capped off with a good helping of stress, and then there was the insanity behind the Grinch leak, and finally that Ultimate Release of the 11/1 Nintendo Direct where nearly all of my roster hopefuls were brutally massacred (Lloyd Irving's still living, somehow?!)… guess that's what happens when both of your jobs, wedding planning, and the SSBU hype machine all kick into overdrive right as you return from your vacation! Woohoo!
Also, I wasn't happy with some elements of the last chapter, so I added a bit more of what's going on internally between the characters and within their own heads, and I'm going to try to stick to that going forward. Hope you enjoy this one!
Thanks so much for all the new subscribers and faves! I'm gonna do my best to end this story right without rushing anything!
P.S.: I realized that the last time I updated this fic, it was on Oct 18th, Princess Peach's birthday. So belated happy 33rd birthday, Peach~
JasonVUK: Hey, thanks so much for the feedback! It really helped. I knew it felt like something crucial was missing! I went back and added Mario's reaction to the transformation. Hope ya dig this chapter, too!
TwistedSyn: Haha, thanks so much! Hope you enjoy the humor in this chapter, too. You've done a better job updating your fanfic than I have, lol. XD Keep it up!
Chapter Eleven
Love is a Battlefield
Princess Peach slumbered deeply, her dreams reflecting her state of peace and contentment. She'd been picnicking with Zelda, Daisy, and Rosalina when she suddenly heard voices - faint at first, they rapidly grew in volume.
"AIIIEEEE!"
"Is it too much?"
"No… your thick fingers… feel so good… and that Chu Jelly's so warm~ ahhh~~ oh, don't stop, don't~~ YESSS~~~"
"I love it when-a you moan like that!"
"Don't wait any longer! Stick it in my asshole, Mario! Pound that poop chute!"
"Spread wider, baby!"
"SLOWLY! AIIIEEEE!"
"AHH! It's so tight!"
A seething whimper of pain turned into a delighted moan. "YES! YES! OH FUCK YES!"
Peach's gloved hand rattled as her death grip threatened to snap her precious china cup. Her eyes widened and she looked around, puzzled at the invisible source of these disturbing voices and squishy sounds.
"WAHOO!"
"Mario, you legend! Your cock is so fuckin' thick! Grab my titties!"
"Mmmmmyeah! Sweet Bowsette… yes…"
Peach turned to look at her friends, none of whom seemed to hear the disturbing scene.
"Do you not hear that?!" she cried aloud.
They looked at her dumbly, like silent wax figures, like Amiibo frozen into place, and she snapped suddenly awake.
A cold, clammy sweat ran down Peach's whole body. She looked around. She was in her own bedroom, and Daisy was sleeping on the opposite side of the king-sized bed; remembering her burning effigy, Peach deduced that her good friend had decided to keep an eye on her.
I don't deserve Daisy… oh, thank heavens it was just a dream, Peach thought with some relief.
But then, as if this nightmare went another layer deep, she heard the voices again, this time certainly for real, undoubtedly Mario's and Bowsette's, and being broadcast somewhere outside of her lightly-cracked window.
"Are-a you squeezing me on purpose?! No fair!"
"Muahaha! No way I'm letting you finish just yet!"
"Why do you keep-a trying to 1-Up me?!"
"Because it's time for a little sweet revenge, dearie! GAO! GAO!"
There was a deep, satisfied roaring sound.
Peach flung open her balcony door and rushed to the banister. Bowser's airship was hovering high above the Smashgrounds, but the voices were so loud, they were echoing across the expanse between the various castles and ruins.
DISGUSTING! Peach thought, shivering. What degenerate showboating! What a horrid, despicable, shameless woman! And Mario! UGH!
"FLUDD your man-juice into me, Mario! FUCKING DO IT!"
"OOoooohhHHHHHHH YEAAAAAH!"
Her hands really and truly shaking now, Peach had half a mind to nab an Arwing, fly up there and light up the airship with Smart Bombs, but something warned her against that course of action.
Just let it happen, her inner voice told her. You're not the only one who can hear this. The court of public opinion will crucify them in the morning.
Then public sympathy will be on your side.
But it's just so painful…
Then why are you still listening?
FOCUS! Get a grip, Peach!
Peach dug through her dresser for her little-used Bose QuietComfort 35 noise-cancelling headphones and synced them up to her Sony Walkman. After trading the dress she'd fallen asleep in for her nightgown, the Princess put on Lao Tzu's The Tao Te Ching on repeat and lay back down, trying to sleep.
It didn't work. She felt that even through the comforting audiobook, she could hear them, and worse - she felt that a part of her maybe wanted to hear them. She finally gave in, and before she realized it, she had slid her headphones off, and began moving her hands down her body to touch herself beneath her nightgown.
Peach studied Daisy, who was turned on her side and facing towards her, hoping she wouldn't wake her good friend, and almost not caring if she did. As far as she knew, Daisy slept like a log.
But not tonight.
Daisy had also been awoken by the broadcast voices. The Princess of Sarasaraland was silhouetted by the moonlight, and with her short hair framing her cute face, it was impossible for Peach to see her, though Daisy, her eyes sneaking open just a little bit, could see the outline of Peach's sexy body as she writhed and panted on her silken sheets.
The sight of it turned her on immensely, and Daisy almost wished she had the courage to reach out to her friend, to kiss her lips and help her to finish herself off, but she didn't, and she couldn't.
What would I tell Luigi?! I couldn't live with myself, Daisy reflected as she let the wetness between her thighs lie and contented herself with the most delicate observation of Peach's whimpers. She grew intoxicated with her smells - her sweat, her sex, her perfume - all playing on her heightened senses in the vanishing dark.
Listening to Mario and Bowsette, she watched Peach for a long time.
"You tell them!" Mortonette pushed Lemmyette.
"NO U!" Lemmyette pushed back.
Wendyette nearly tore out her hair. "I DON'T CARE WHO IT IS! SOMEONE'S GOT TO TELL THEM!"
The Koopalings all gulped, neither one wanting to knock on Bowsette's door and disturb their coitus to tell them that Bowsette must have hit the bedside megaphone switch, toggling it to ON and broadcasting hers and Mario's sweet lovemaking all across the realm.
As Ludwigette recalled to them on the way down the hall, Bowser had the thing inexplicably installed in all of the airship's cabin rooms in order to broadcast heavy metal YouTube covers of Bowser's Theme from Super Mario 64 to announce his presence in advance wherever and whenever he so wished.
"I mean… they can probably hear all that racket, right?" Iggyette put forth.
No one seemed to want to disagree with that statement, and so the matter was dropped. Even though the Koopalings had all flown up to the airship for this very purpose, neither was eager to be the messenger.
"Yeah," said Lemmyette. "Maybe Bowsette probably just wants everyone to know how deeply she loves Mario."
"Sure," some of the others mumbled in agreement as they shuffled away, safe in their plausible deniability.
"Why are we doing this again?" Amy whispered over the drums in a tone suffused with genuine confusion.
"Just go along with it," Tails replied, also under his breath. They both joined in the chanting.
"ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!" the various Sonic the Hedgehog characters chanted as they danced around the towering fire.
Bowser Junior sat entranced and stern-faced as Rouge the Bat and Cream the Bunny smeared gobs of white face-paint over his eyes to craft that unified-eye-blob particular to certain Sonic characters.
Junior opened his eyes and saw his new face in the mirror Rouge held up. He barely recognized himself. His long red wig, dipped in hair gel and doused with mousse, was just as he had hoped - spiky all over the place.
He would be loved now, would have fans - maybe even some female ones - and perhaps... just maybe... even his daddy... or mommy... would take notice and compliment him on his retro '90s style.
Only... was that what he wanted? Did not some part of him secretly want to get back at his namesake?
The thought evaporated at the compliments Cream, Amy, Rouge, and Blaze were showering on him.
Bowser Junior's head grew three sizes that day, and he pictured himself atop a throne, groupies fanning him with palm leaves and painting his toenails.
"YES!" Bowser Junior declared, then sought for Shadow among the throng. "Now that's a face to inspire people!"
Shadow t. Hedgehog was leaning on a tree far away, arms crossed. He returned Junior's glance with an awkward, almost concerned smile.
Just then, Sonic himself interrupted, holding a hand for the chanting to stop. "BEHOLD, ALL OF YOU! In the name of Sonic Team, tonight we welcome the newest of our brothers, Junior the Koopa!"
Big the Cat's deep voice led the others as they all chanted, "JU-NIOR! JU-NIOR! JU-NIOR!"
Junior did an impressive standing backflip, then attempted to replicate Sonic's crossed-arms pose, flashing his teeth in the process.
"I'M WAY PAST COOL!" Junior jested in an annoying cadence.
The throng fell to sudden, shocked silence.
If Sonic were just a tad less forgiving, this might have prompted the Blue Blur to rescind the boy's membership into their semi-secret society right then and there, but instead, he just spat on the ground, gave Junior a quick but disgusted glance, and walked away coolly.
Bowser Junior was very confused. "Did I... say somethin' wrong?!"
"You know what you did!" yelled Mighty the Armadillo as Amy ran up to comfort Sonic.
Junior's knees knocked as the others shuffled away.
Finally, Tails sidled up to Junior. "Look, kiddo, you can't just go around takin' other people's catch-phrases. Sonic's... well, he's really sensitive about that sort of thing."
Junior's lip quavered. "Oh..."
Tails took him by the arm. "There aren't many other '90s mascots left. Sonic kind of has the market cornered when it comes to his signature lines..."
Junior blubbered and tried not to cry. He failed. "I was just... I was tryin' to... I dunno. I'm such a loser..."
"Oh, man, are you really..." Tails looked around to see if anyone was going to judge him, then brought out his hanky. "Look, no one's going to kick you out or shame ya or anything..."
Finally, a large shadow darkened Junior's face. It was none other than Shadow himself. Tails deferred to him, and Shadow simply bonked Junior on the head with a squishy toy hammer.
"Cheer up, emo kid," said Shadow. "Everyone's got their sensitive spots. He'll get over it, and you should, too. C'mon, let's help 'em all clean up."
And with that, Shadow walked away to help the others clean up after the mess they made. Junior followed, eager to continue to prove himself, and Tails looked on in admiration of how surprisingly good Shadow was with that kid.
Luigi had terrible dreams that night. Trapped in a maze winding through haunted corridors akin to those of PT, wherein unspeakable terrors awaited him behind every door he could venture courage enough to open, Luigi squirmed in his sheets, sweating deeply, filled with a sense of unescapable dread.
Daisy, if she were around, would have comforted him with her warm, bubbly presence, but she wasn't, and so Luigi suffered in lonely, sweaty, near-bed-wetting agony.
When he became conscious of his being asleep, Luigi sprung awake.
Or he would have sprung, if he hadn't suddenly realized that he couldn't move at all.
Sleep paralysis. He'd heard about it in humans. But for a program…?
Could the Super Crown be the key to it all? Luigi thought. Perhaps we're fated to go through this phase of shifting sexes and confused identities, because the humans are, and data from the Internet is leaking into our consciousnesses?
But as soon as that thought entered his head, he felt those same chilly hands from the night before run up and down his torso and legs.
No, make it stop! Luigi's soul shivered as a high-pitched laughter dribbled along the dark walls, rebounded off them, and slithered into his ears.
KING BOO! YOU MONSTER!
I don't want this! Luigi wanted to cry, but his mouth wouldn't move.
But then, as if she had been able to read his mind, Queen Booette phased into existence and sat atop the sleeping Luigi.
"Awww, I bet you wish you could feel this, don't you?" she teased him cruelly as she rode his body, rubbing her sex all over his thighs and sudden fear-boner, which stood at attention like a good soldier.
GET UP, DAMMIT!
Luigi tried to force himself back into his body, but he couldn't do it. Something or someone was keeping him out.
The plumber cleared his mind and thought back to his dad's advice. He went through the sequence of code Mr. Miyamoto had taught him that would get him out of situations like this.
Laughing all the while, Queen Booette's ungodly long tongue flopped out of her mouth and she ran it up and down his torso.
Queen Booette slapped him, choked him, and yanked Luigi's pants down.
She was about to practically tear off Luigi's pajamas when he suddenly snapped back into his body and felt that he could move again.
Luigi's arm was halfway down to the Poltergust 5000 he'd kept hidden beneath the covers when Bowsette showed him the device's attached wall socket power supply, which she'd yanked out and put into a blender.
She switched on the blender, which not only shredded the power supply, but blew the circuit breaker, causing a power failure in that entire wing.
She alone was glowing in the darkness, a sort of necro-luminescence illuminating her pale, white, naked figure.
"Cry for help, no one will hear you," Queen Booette taunted, walking her hands up and down Luigi's body like thick-legged spiders. "Now do you want to play, or not?"
"I have a girlfriend!" Luigi protested, but his voice was shrill and his will was fading, and while his face stood firm, Queen Booette noticed that every time she touched or licked a sensitive spot on his body, he would twitch involuntarily, as if tickled.
"That's a poor excuse," said Queen Booette, whose hand was now wrapping around his long, slim bratwurst. "Your mind and body don't seem to agree. That's cognitive dissonance."
Luigi shuddered, but didn't struggle. He knew he could move now. He could escape. But instead, he let Queen Booette squat over him and lower herself onto his cock, splitting her virginal vagina as she roared and laughed in ecstasy.
NO! Why aren't I out of this room?! What the hell is wrong with me?!
As many a weak man might upon failing a serious trial of his own will, Luigi almost cried. He hated himself for giving in, for disappointing Daisy…
Queen Booette whimpered as she bit her lip and rubbed her hands all over his chest, letting her monstrous mammaries flop about every which way.
"Why should Mario and Bowser have all the fun?" she taunted him.
Daisy doesn't ever take the lead like this, does she? Queen Booette thought slyly as she slid on and off of Luigi's slick shaft, burying herself, shaking her hips and milking him, and then raising herself up over him once more.
She licked his neck and nibbled on his earlobe.
"You're a bad, bad, plumber, and an even worse boyfriend," Queen Booette whispered. "Don't you just wanna fuck me like you've never fucked before? Don't you want to do things to me you've never done? Things Daisy would never let you do?"
"You hussy!" Luigi yelled at last. "Don't you mention her name!"
And then he tried to break free from beneath Queen Booette, but she pinned him down again, and Luigi saw with some surprise that the Boos he thought had vanished hadn't disappeared but were simply waiting for him to resist.
"MONSTER!" Luigi cried as the light left his own eyes and literal tears ran down his face. "YOU BEAST!"
"YESSSS!" Queen Booette agreed, licking her lips as she continued to ride him into the night.
Mario awoke groggy, alone, and slightly lost. The last thing he remembered was feeling his arm wound up in Bowsette's anaconda-grip as she nuzzled up beside him after a night full of ferocious fornicating.
Heh, he'd thought as he finally drifted off to sleep. So this is what it's like being kidnapped. The royal treatment.
Since they'd been doing the naked chicken dance all night long and then some, Mario had only been asleep thirty minutes, but that was enough. He had stamina for days, and digital beings required very little sleep. Nintendo's mascot quietly snuck out of bed and made two pots of hard, strong, Peet's French Roastcoffee with Bowser - er, Bowsette's pour-over.
The aroma of the strained grounds were what really allowed Mario to relax the anxious muscles in his stomach and recall, as he half-leaned out of the airship window looking over the domain he was largely responsible for building, in detail the events of the night previous.
Had all that really happened?
Had he fucked Bows…ette and finished inside her twenty-three times?
There was no risk of pregnancy for digital beings, sure, but had he really just done that and been 100% okay with it?
Yeah, I did, Mario thought to himself, and it was a good thought, except for a nagging feeling that they'd broken every rule in the Bro Code.
His relationship with Bows-er had now completely changed, and he was lost in the agonizing process of redefining what it was, and where the boundaries were, and just what he thought of the subject.
Mario had hardly ever been given real choices to make in his life. If Nintendo had told him to jump off a cliff sixteen-hundred times just to test for bugs, then he would have no choice but to comply.
The Forget-Me-Gun made sure of that.
And they, the digital beings, had been stupid enough to ask, nominate, second, vote, and approve for it to be made.
He took a deep swig.
It's like we're programmed to be predictable, to be obedient…
This train of thought was too much for Mario and so he did what he always did when he encountered something uncomfortable: he rationalized it.
Well, for all the power such an item held, it's not as if the Forget-Me-Gun doesn't have practical uses.
He took another sip.
Had Nintendo done a good job of digitizing the effects of coffee? Was this bitter drink, for the digital beings, anything like what it was for humans? Mario would never know, and that troubled him, since it brought up so many other questions. If something as simple as sensory perceptions affected them differently, what about something as complex as romantic love?
Mario spotted a Camera Lakitu hovering a tad too close to the airship, no doubt searching for him.
Paparazzi.
Mario located the gun box, hidden in a compartment beneath Bowser's gaming table. He opened it and promptly withdrew the AWP Magnum Sniper Rifle he kept for just these situations.
He chambered the bullet and was just about to take out the journalist when a flying egg grenade shot from Kazooie's throat lodged in the Lakitu's asscrack before blowing him up from the inside and showering his bloody remnants all over the castle walls.
Mario nodded to Banjo, who was riding atop a Lakitu cloud of his own. The happy-go-lucky bear gave him a thumbs-up and a "Guh-huh!" in friendly response.
Then Mario shuddered as he felt a sudden drop in pressure. Why are we descending?
"Kamek!" Bowsette's voice boomed authoritatively from the airship deck. Set us down nice and easy! I desire a hearty brunch!"
"Aye aye! Goin' down, yer highness!" Kamek called from the helm.
Ah, Bowsette… that just goes back to it… but now… with how I've suddenly fallen so hard for Bowsette… is there any possibility of reconciliation with Peach?
Mario couldn't deny that this sudden romance hadn't completely upended his life overnight. Things can change hard and fast in the life time of programs that communicate without the limitations of spoken or inferred language.
But Peach… she isn't the kind of person one forgets easily. That not even the wonderful Bowsette could erase her completely made Mario feel a little selfish, and a little stupid.
This must be what rock stars feel like, Mario thought with a pithy smile as he donned a bath robe and returned to the window. Deep down, he'd always wanted to be human. He'd met a few of the fleshy overlords. Even Charles Martinet, who gave him his voice, dropped in as a Mii to greet him once or twice a year. That first meeting was a hell of a mindfuck. Mario needed a hard drink that evening.
A familiar tune from the opposite side of the airship caught his ear. Mario moved to the window opposite.
On a nearby balcony, Breath of the Wild Link was leaning on his banister, playing Saria's Song on his ocarina. He raised his eyebrows and tipped his hat to the big man.
Mario nodded. "Mornin'."
Link saw in this first glance how serene and changed Mario was. He was projecting the aura of a man who had just conquered Mount Everest, then snowboarded down it.
"You know, I got something for you," Link said, whipping out a Green Potion.
Mario graciously caught the thrown bottle, drank it, and felt immediately rejuvenated. His stamina returned and his hair perked up.
"Mah boy! What is this?"
"It probably has a more ancient name, but I've always called it the Skyward Sword Green Potion," said Link, who was never caught without a decent stock of Potions.
"Next-a drink's on me," Mario said over the sound of the airship's anchor dropping and hitting the ground hard.
Link smirked. "Anytime, pal… might, uh, want to try and keep it down, though. You two…"
Before his sentence could finish, the door slid open and Bowsette waltzed out, a mug of coffee in her hand.
Link's eyes were drawn first from Bowsette's stunning appearance to the mug, which was a modified official Nintendo Princess Peach mug on which Bowsette had drawn horns, fangs, and long black nails on with permanent market.
"Mornin', boys," Bowsette said as she joined Mario in leaning out the window; she embraced him with her free arm.
Link fell silent, as he sometimes did, and it took an odd look from her to prompt a sudden "Ah, mornin', Bowsette."
"You wouldn't happen to have any more of those…"
Link had already fished out and tossed another Stamina Potion.
"Works best when you drink it all at onc…"
But before the words had finished escaping Link's lips, Bowsette had already downed the whole thing and flung the glass bottle back at the shocked Link.
Bowsette pressed her fist to her mouth to stifle the burp, but it was a loud one, and it did spawn a little fireball at the end, too.
"You're probably wondering how exactly this happened," Bowsette said, addressing the now-stunned Link's blank stare. "To be honest, I… don't actually know."
"She felt irresistibly drawn to me, and I to her… then we kind of just fell into it," Mario clarified after tossing his empty bottle back as well.
Link just nodded. "I'm happy for you two. Seriously. Word to the wise, though: next time you do the nasty in that airship, you miiiight want to unplug that megaphone thingy of yours. I'm fairly sure your fun could be heard all across the realm last night."
"WHAT?!" Mario exclaimed.
Bowsette's eyes widened. "YE GADS! The megaphone! And none of my crew told me... typical," Bowsette said, bewildered and a little flustered. "Was it... really that loud?"
Link's serious expression said it all.
As Mario tried to comfort her, Bowsette sighed deeply. "Thanks, Link. We're about to have some brunch. What'cha up to?"
Link shrugged. "Zelda and I were gonna spectate the Aces balancing tennis matches until lunch. Then there's the big race."
"Big race?" Mario and Bowsette asked simultaneously.
"Yeah, whoever wins gets to plan and host the big party this weekend to celebrate the finalization of the base roster."
"Sounds like fun," Bowsette said with a wink, her mind already greedily considering the race won. "Maybe we'll join ya in a bit."
They bade goodbye to Link and Mario let Bowsette take him by the hand and lead him to the Smashgrounds' dining hall.
Brunch was as chaotic and insane as usual.
Luigi, Peach, Bowser Junior, Sonic, and Daisy were all nowhere to be seen. King Dedede was smoking a digital joint, Wolf and Lucario were arm-wrestling, and Captain Falcon comforted Mach Rider on her not making the cut for the roster, but nearly everyone else was gabbing about the Super Crown.
Ganonette, who'd made her first public appearance, was lounging with her legs crossed on the table, fielding all sorts of questions, but pleading to all who were gathered around to keep things as low-key as possible.
"We want our product to be flawless. The Doctors are hopeful we can iron out the few remaining issues-" she began between bites of her Southwest Chicken Salad.
"Fuck the issues!" grumbled Wario. "Just give 'em to us now!"
Ganonette stuck her tongue out. "What, so you can go Toadette on our asses and ruin the whole show? Have a little patience, man."
"Yeah, Wario - I doubt any crown's gonna do your ugly mug any good," snickered Pit.
"Them's fightin' words, you sad little fujoshibait shotacon!" Wario hissed.
"Jiu-jitsu what now?" Pit queried.
"Save it for the arena," insisted Lucina, who then turned to address Ganonette. "Is there some sort of mailing list, or..."
"We'll be in touch very shortly," Ganonette said. "But mum's the word, got it?"
They all nodded, like elementary school children excited to keep secret the location of a bird's nest in the bushes of their schoolyard.
Just then, Bowsette and Mario burst through the door, taking up everyone's attention as they lodged their noise complaints at the couple all at once.
The mood in Kamek's Even More Secret Lab was heated, not just from the body heat generated by the ever-multiplying Super Crown test subjects, but by Ganonette's enterprising spirit.
"We're here trying to keep Dodongoettes from roasting all the Pikminettes, and you told them WHAT?" Eggman exploded, and Ganonette was happy she waited until he was done pouring the test tube into the beaker to tell him.
"Tonight's the night! Time's against us," Ganonette explained as she put their boxed lunches on the table. "Didn't Kamek tell you about the R.O.B.?"
Doctors Eggman and Wily, who were both attempting to help Ganonette out with the Super Crown research, all shook their heads.
"Ah, right, he's been keeping an eye on Bowsette... anyway, a R.O.B. unit in an invisibility cloak has been poking around for secret entrances. I think Mr. Sakurai set it to work trying to ferret out our operation."
This prompted a cowardly shuddering from the others. They'd always considered themselves to be safe, tucked away, seeing as how the Even More Secret Lab was actually situated in a little-used pocket server. It was the constant encrypted data transfers between servers that was causing suspicion.
"I'm with Egghead here. I'm just not seeing that the risks are worth it," said Dr. Wily.
"This is our finest hour," Ganonette declared. "And we have a right to experiment with our bodies, dammit! If we don't own our bodies, do we have any control at all over our destinies?"
"There ya go, waxing philosophical again," Dr. Wily rolled his eyes, but Eggman was starting to see things Ganonette's way.
"In the words of Victor Hugo," said Ganonette, "you can resist an invading army; you cannot resist an idea whose time has come. Our only hope is for the Super Crown craze to get so big, those Nintendo bigwigs won't be able to shut it down! It's time we take the power back!"
"Er, I don't think that's how it works," Eggman muttered, but he could tell it was hopeless. Ganonette's mind was made up, and she raised her dark arms over the crowd of test subjects, her eyes glowing with fire as she gazed upon the pyramidal stack of prepared Super Crowns.
"Whatever! Send out the invitations!" yelled Ganonette.
Unfazed by the reproaches made to them by the other Smashers at lunch and still riding the high provided by Link's Stamina Potion, Bowsette and Mario had a hell of a fun afternoon.
They frolicked about in the fields, had mock battles, fed each other strawberries and cream while relaxing in Smashville, flew Pilotwings bi-planes together and pulled off aerial tricks for the hell of it, and threw eggs all over the Tomodachi Life complex, greatly upsetting some of the characters who'd either been rejected completely, turned into Assist Trophies, or recently had their chances at roster inclusion greatly reduced.
"CURSE YOU!" Skull Kid cried out at them, and just as Majora's Mask began to shake and transform, Mario and Bowsette giggled and hit the road.
The love-duo even walked arm in arm past a Mario Aces tennis match between Peach and Luigi, almost as if just to see the looks on their faces.
Fatal Frame's Yuri Kozukata took photos of this event (which eventually became the primary source for the original Bowsette meme by ayyk92/Haniwa, but we'll get to that later).
Luigi, who'd wanted to give both of them a piece of his mind after the events of the previous night, found that he was too stunned by their careless, love-struck manner to even so much as approach. He forfeited the match and his place in the upcoming race, and went to go play a round of golf instead.
THE NERVE! Peach thought later on as she changed out of her tennis outfit and into her Mario Kart 8 Bike Suit. What blatant disregard for decorum!
She'd heard that the megaphone snafu that morning was a total accident, but did she believe it? Heck no.
It was several seconds before Peach noticed that Rosalina was looking worriedly at her two lockers down. Peach looked at her hands and saw that she had just crumpled and torn her pink tennis outfit into shards of tattered fabric.
Peach forced a smile and let the pieces fall from her hands.
"Are... you okay?" Rosalina asked, feeling her out.
The smile that formed on Peach's face appeared shakily and twitched like an unconscious Level 2 Pidgey being hit by Zapdos' Zap Cannon, and it didn't seem like it would hold at first, but after nearly twisting into a snarl, then a frown, it suddenly widened and brightened to such an extent that, in the dark, Alice might have mistaken it for the Cheshire Cat.
"Juuuust peachy," she said, looking more than ever like someone in the process of losing their grip on reality. "Th-th-thanks for asking."
Rosalina floated on up to Peach and hugged her.
They hugged a long time.
"I know you've never really forgiven me," Rosalina said. "No, really. You were here first. This can't be easy for you."
She kissed her on the cheek, then studied the other princess' expression once more.
"Stay strong, Peach."
Peach's returning expression revealed her gratitude, confusion, and warmth, and Peach opened her mouth to share her thanks, but before she could respond, the sound of revving engines reminded them that there were races to be won. One of the Lakitus called in after them and they headed for the track, the remake of the classic N64 circuit, Royal Raceway.
"Thank you..." Peach finally managed. "I just don't know what's going on."
"None of us do," Rosalina agreed. "So much has-"
They were both interrupted now by the revving of a powerful 150cc bike engine. It was a heavily modified Flame Rider, and atop it was none other than Bowsette, grinning widely at the princesses.
"Finished powdering your noses?" Bowsette taunted them, to some "ooooohs" from the other racers. "I've got a party to host."
"Why, I'll..." Peach began, but remembering to catch herself, she she took a deep breath and calmed her voice. "...I'll be winning this race, Bowsette. Try not to inhale too much of my burnt rubber."
More "oooooohs" from the other racers.
From her 300 SL Roadster, Daisy yelled, "You go, girl!"
Peach saw that Mario, whose Mach 8 Kart was situated in first, was looking on at the scene sadly and awkwardly, but powerless to stop it.
"Can we PLEASE start the race already?!" Villager yelled from his Pipe Frame Kart. "I snorted three grams of cocaine for this race, and the effects are gonna wear off if we don't GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!"
"Sheesh," Link piped in from atop his Master Cycle. "You're nasty enough when you're not on drugs..."
"Take that back, you pointy-eared prick!" Villager boomed after crushing a Red Bull can against his forehead. "I'm JACKED UP and ready for WAR!"
The Lakitu began the countdown.
Three...
Everyone prepared to rev.
Two...
The 150cc engines all started.
One...
The racers concentrated on plotting out how they'd survive the initial burst of collisions.
GO!
Then the racers all leapt forth in a fierce battle of wits, wheels, and engines, that is, except for Rosalina, who gave them all a second-long head-start to wave to the crowd before kicking her Sport Bike into action.
A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT! I have at least another heavy week of work ahead of me, but I'll definitely try to update as soon as I can, hopefully sooner than later. :D This fanfic ain't over yet! There's arcs that need... arcing! Reviews, Faves, and Follows are much appreciated! Fellow Americans, hope you have a great Thanksgiving!