There's Something About Bowsette
A/N: How's it going, everyone! Hope your November was great. SIX MORE DAYS! Ultimate and wedding planning are going to take over my life, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing this fanfic! Thank you so much for continuing to support it! :D :D
JasonVUK: Thanks so much! Things are really going to be heating up soon!
TwistedSyn: Haha, thanks! Yeah, Mario's definitely a little more conscious of the repercussions of his actions than Bowsette. Also, sorry, but I'm not sure that Luigi's journey will go that smoothly...
Chapter Twelve
Race for the Prize
Toadette squinted at the television screen. Someone had taken away her antenna, somehow, and Doctor Derek Stiles, whom she'd consulted about her persistent headache, warned her against looking at screens of any kind, or leaving her cozy little domicile, but she was getting serious cabin fever in there and didn't like the idea of being under house arrest.
She'd been resourceful enough to repurpose some copper wire and weave it into a coaxial cable, which she hooked up to the neighbor's cable by grabbing it from her window and splicing it.
Finally, she thought, some entertainment!
She wasn't normally a rule-breaker, or one to go against the advice of the venerable doctor. But it was the Toads standing guard at her door that had brought her to this, she reasoned.
The afternoon entertainment was commencing with a Mario Kart 8 race. She thought for certain that she'd seen more than one Princess Peach in the race.
Yes, there was certainly more than one.
Bowsette, Mortonette, and Lemmyette joined Peach on the track.
And WHAT was that thing on their heads?!
Toadette didn't understand why, but rage, desire, sadness, and horror all flooded her consciousness. She had to find a way out of here and back to the Super Smash Bros. server.
Luigi couldn't concentrate on his swings. He felt his hands and arms shake as he sliced and hooked ball after ball.
Finally, he reached the end of the third hole and whipped out his putter on the green. He tightened his grip to keep his hands from shaking. No dice.
I can't bear this, he thought. I've put up with so much already… and now this…
Just then, he felt more than a chill run up his spine. He felt cold, ghostly fingers.
"Why… so… serious?" Queen Booette taunted Luigi as she embraced him from behind and licked his neck, all but paralyzing him.
Luigi spun around and whipped out the Poltergust 5000, arms shaking.
"Get away from me!" he commanded, but his strained voice was thin.
She pouted.
"Awwww, what's wrong, baby? We were having so much fun last night…"
"This is wrong!" Luigi finally said, blubbering as he steeled his resolve, even as his eyes went up and down Queen Booette's perfectly proportioned figure.
She smirked at him and stuck her tongue out. "See you tonight, then!"
"NO!" Luigi exclaimed as she retreated, phasing into the ground. "YOU WON'T SEE ME, BECAUSE I'LL BE WITH DAISY!"
He flung his putter at her, but it merely bounced off the green.
Creepy Boo laughs resounded from every direction. He paid them no heed and calmly walked on over to pick up the putter.
The sounds of the Mario Karters in the far distance reminded Luigi that none of this was his doing.
No, he told himself, not even giving into that… ghastly creature could be helped. He… she… it… was just another test of his fortitude, one that he could weather if he really put his mind to it.
Deep breaths helped. Luigi remembered that nothing was more important than his mental equilibrium.
I'm going to have a nice, long talk with Mario and Bowsette, he told himself. We've got to stop this insanity before it gets even more out of hand.
While in the stands of the Mario Kart 8 race, Lucina felt a buzz on her cellphone. It was a set of two images from an unknown number.
She clicked the notification.
The first image was of an envelope resembling an invitation letter to Super Smash Bros., only it was sealed with a Super Crown.
Her eyes bulged and she hid her excited expression from Chrom and the others, who were watching the race intently, and swiped to the second photo, which was actually a hastily-written message.
Congratulations!
You have been chosen to participate in the Top Secret Exclusive Closed Beta of the Super Crown trials. This is for your eyes only!
Show up at Bowser's Castle at 5 in the afternoon, or whenever your schedule permits. Super Crowns will be handed out on a first-come-first-served basis.
Please understand that we will not be responsible for the consequences of any side effects.
Stay awesome!
Sealed with a kiss,
Ganonette
Lucina read it twice, intently, then glanced around at others in the crowd, hoping to see similar reactions. She wondered how many other people would be in this Top Secret Exclusive Closed Beta.
The first lap began with the typical pushing and shoving as the racers rounded the first corner to the first set of Item Boxes. Rosalina hung back, enjoying the falling cherry blossoms in no hurry at all, knowing she'd be able to climb the ranks with the better item drops in the rear.
Mario weaved through the Item Boxes expertly as he held onto his lead, but he knew that Bowsette would soon catch up.
Bowser had been without a doubt the best of them at karting, and certainly the most competitive - among the Mario Kart 8 roster, he'd held the competitive record for Royal Raceway. Mario saw in Bowsette's eyes the same fierce determination, and resolved that if the time came when he'd have to choose between winning or letting Bowsette nab the prize, he'd live longer if he allowed Bowsette the victory.
After activating his Coin item, Mario glanced quickly behind him and confirmed his suspicions - clad in a leather biker jacket zipped up to her exploding cleavage, her shapely legs hugged by tight leather pants, Bowsette was tearing up the competition with triple green shells.
Laughing maniacally, Villager began to shunt Peach off the main track, knocking her Jet Bike out of her drift before she could boost.
"Oh, no!" The Princess cried, just barely managing to keep from popping off the inside of the track.
"I'll protect you, your Highness!" Toad declared as he slowed down from his early lead to try and trip up Villager with a held banana peel.
"I'M GONNA TURN YA INTO CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP!" cried the Villager as his draft-boost propelled him to weave around the loyal servant before activating a Bob-Omb that blew Toad into the sky.
"Thank you~" Peach yelled to the poor Toad as she gained speed powering through the second wave of Item Boxes, and poor Toad suddenly felt it was all worth it and began humming Sam Hart's "Mario Kart Love Song" even as Rosalina's Sport Bike passed him up by rocketing with a Super Mushroom off the shortcut ramp.
Rosalina smiled and waved at Peach as she passed her, prompting a smile from the latter. Peach checked her own item - a Red Shell - and was hoping to save it, but a whole mess of dropped banana peels made her use it up to protect herself.
Just ahead, Donkey Kong, who'd just missed the passing Villager, dropped another banana, and Peach realized with horror that she didn't have time to dodge it and braced for impact.
Suddenly, a tossed Green Shell knocked away the banana peel, and none other than Daisy drove past in her Mercedes, honking her horn.
"I've got your back, too!" she declared enthusiastically.
Peach could have kissed her, she was so happy.
"Thank you both!" Peach declared to her good friends.
The princesses ascended the high-speed ramp, dodging dropped items and passing a spun-out Link and Mortonette (who'd slammed into the Hylian).
I'm going to win this race, Peach thought as she followed behind Rosalina and picked up a nice draft boost just before launching into the air.
Meanwhile, Mario drifted through the technical turns after the ramp, walling out the bloodthirsty Villager with the threat of the Super Horn.
"Outta my way, ya rotten bastard!" Villager screamed. He shot a well-aimed Green Shell at Mario, who burned the Super Horn to protect himself.
Villager, who'd kept just out of the Super Horn's radius, was sharply gaining on the plumber when his Pipe Frame Kart was jostled hard from the side.
He spun around to regard Bowsette, who laughed as she pushed the Animal Crossing character off the tracks in the final corner, sending him into the moat.
"CURSES!" Villager yelled as he was unable to stop from driving into the drink.
Bowsette cackled maniacally as she passed Mario with her superior top speed (which was disproportionally high vis-a-vis her weight), then blew him a kiss.
Mario returned it as they ended the first lap.
"Watch my back!" Bowsette all but commanded him as she rocketed ahead.
The Koopa Queen dominated most of the second lap, at least until she got greedy for a full-charged drift boost, took the last turn before the ramp a tad too wide, and was unceremoniously knocked sideways by a Piranha Plant.
"Hey, aren't you on my side?!" Bowsette boomed.
The Piranha Plant merely smiled, as if to say, I'm on no one's side, bucko, 'coz no one's on my side.
"Sheesh, at least we don't have to deal with those damn things in Smash Bros.," Bowsette jested to Mario, who had now caught up with her.
"Ahaha, true. But don't tempt fate," Mario replied, not knowing how prophetic his words would end up being.
He let Bowsette get the draft-boost off him as they ascended the ramp.
The two rivals-turned-lovers were taking the final corners when they heard the quickening theme of the Invincibility Star approach fast.
Before they knew it, Princess Peach's Jet Bike suddenly rocketed over the grass, cutting the corners. She sped past them, blowing the two a kiss as she took the lead at the end of the second lap.
But that wasn't all that happened in that moment.
"Blue Shell incoming, m'lord!" Lemmyette's dorky voice had yelled across the way, and by the time it registered, it was too late.
The unmistakable whooshing sound of a Blue Shell - one launched by Toad - zoomed up to Bowsette and nailed her hard. Mario, who hit the brakes, just barely landed within the blast.
Luckily for them, there were two dropped Mushroom power-ups on the track, and that let them get back up to speed before Rosalina and Daisy could overtake them.
Bowsette and Mario determinedly attempted to catch up to the Princess, who, with maxed-out Coins, reached the first wave of Item Boxes far ahead of them.
"Shoot her!" Bowsette told Mario, who'd acquired a single Green Shell.
Time seemed to slow to a crawl in Mario's mind as he lined up his shot.
They zig-zagged around the castle.
Both Peach and Mario seemed to be holding their breath, both aware of the swift approach of the ultimate trajectory.
Mario was an ace with the things - a Fire Emblem menu would have listed his Green Shell Hit Rate at 99% - but just an instant before Mario lined up the perfect shot, Peach whipped her ponytail around and looked him right in the eyes.
The girlish, pleading expression was calculated precisely, and even though Mario knew it well and recognized its put-on falseness for the emotional manipulation it was, he couldn't resist her pouting lips and his aim fell just short of her.
"BALLS!" Bowsette growled as she flung her own banana peel at Peach, but it hit one of the greenery-covered arches and fell to the track before her, causing Bowsette to spin out.
Rosalina and Daisy zoomed past.
"SHIT-STAINED, GONORRHEA-INFESTED BABOON BALLS! ARRRGHHHH!"
"WAHAHAHAHA!" Villager pointed and laughed with joy as he approached, only to suddenly have his face covered in Blooper ink sent by the Inkling, causing him to knock into Mario and slam his large, round head into his steering wheel. His nose erupted into a river of blood.
After getting back on the track and knocking Villager into the ramp's guard rail, Bowsette looked sharply at Mario, both hurt and upset.
"HOW COULD YOU?!" Bowsette hissed, tears filling her twitching eyes.
Mario was at a loss. "I'm… I'm-a sorry, I don't know what happened, I…"
"OH, I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! You still love her, don't you?! You chose her over me!" Bowsette screamed, and for a fleeting second, Mario was speechless. But just when Mario was about to respond with "That's not true," four racers clustered together zoomed past them.
"WE'LL AVENGE YOU, BOSS!" Mortonette and Lemmyette declared simultaneously as they rushed past. The latter spammed her Crazy Eight item and knocked both Daisy and Rosalina out of the sky just after they left the ramp, but Link picked the two Koopa Princesses off with Red Shells before getting knocked aside by Donkey Kong's dropped Bob-Omb, which caught him up in its blast as well.
Bowsette and Mario expertly dodged all of this mess and retook second and third place, continuing to argue even as they launched off themselves.
""Useless fools," Bowsette grumbled, then boomed, "I trusted you, Mario!"
"Look, it was a hard-a shot, all right?!" Mario defended himself.
"Don't lie to me! I've seen you make shots like that in your sleep!" Bowsette roared.
But just then, several things happened at once.
A roaring red blur squeezed past them recklessly, smacking Mario into Peach's hot-air balloon.
Its eerily familiar rider turned to Bowsette during the pass, smiling with a menacing and goofy expression and waving to her.
Bowsette was shocked for sure, but she immediately recognized the awkward child beneath all the face paint and gelled-back wig.
"JUNIOR?!"
She looked on in disbelief even as the mystery vehicle landed on the other side and fired off one of its triple Red Shells at Peach.
It found its target just as she was exiting the final stretch.
"This is my hour!" the kid cried as he fired his second Red Shell. Peach absorbed the hit, but she was so close…
With perfect timing, Junior fired the final Red Shell, and Peach once again was blasted away.
He zoomed over the finish line to mixed applause and confused gossiping.
"Who was that?"
"Wait, where did he come from?"
"That's…"
"No, it can't be!"
"I WON!" Junior the Koopa declared as he performed a front-flip out of his Sonic Team Racing car, which he purloined from Sonic's personal garage, and nearly tore open the seams of his too-tight red and yellow fur suit. "I'm the fastest thing alive, BABY!"
Since Bowser Junior had forgotten to stop the vehicle, it continued to zoom off down the track until it smacked right into the wall and its hood crumpled in like tinfoil.
"DISQUALIFIED!" the Lakitu declared, descending on his cloud and blowing a whistle at the Koopa Kid. "You weren't officially on the starting twelve! This win is forfeit!"
"Oh, shut it, four-eyes!" Bowser Junior declared, grabbing the trophy from his hands. "I'm hosting the party tonight!"
He looked to the stands, searching for Shadow's approval, but the dark and mysterious hedgehog was too busy stalling Sonic from straight-up murdering Junior for his blatant car thievery.
But the trophy de-materialized in his hands and reappeared on the Lakitu's cloud as the official continued to blow the whistle.
"Gimme that!" Junior declared as the Lakitu floated on over to Peach, who was blowing kisses at the adoring crowd, and handed her the trophy.
"It's not fair!" Junior yelled, kicking the car's tires with his foot and subsequently yelping in pain.
Just then, he felt a bit of a chill behind him as Bowsette's shadow encroached on the digital light on the kid's back. Bowser Junior turned slowly to see the confused and disappointed visage of his towering mother/father looking on disapprovingly at his new face with its smeared white eye makeup and slicked-back red wig, and his hastily-sewn, stretched-out fur suit.
Bowsette's faced showed genuine concern. "Junior… what's going on?"
Bowser Junior crossed his arms, cleared his throat and spoke determinedly.
"I'm tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface. I don't know what you're expecting of me, put under the pressure of walking in your shoes."
Bowsette got the notion in her head that she'd heard these words before, and she could even almost identify them, but the frantic Junior continued:
"Every step that I take is another mistake to you!" Bowser Junior continued.
"Hang on… those are just Linkin Park lyrics," Bowsette finally recognized with a resigned sigh.
She facepalmed deeply, showing her disappointment in front of all the racers and esteemed audience, which included much of the SSBU roster, many of whom began chuckling, or in the case of Wario, straight-up chortling.
"By becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you!" Bowser Junior continued.
"You're still doing it!" Bowsette boomed in response, and then quickly calmed down, realizing that she'd just lost her temper in front of her beloved child for the first time ever.
"Bowsette…" Mario took her hand. "I think-a Junior just wants your approval."
"Can't you see that your smothering me?" Junior protested. "Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control, 'coz everything that you thought I would be is falling apart right in front of you?"
"Look, Junior," Bowsette said, now getting on one knee, "no one is going to take you seriously if your idea of a heart-to-heart talk is just continuing to quote one cheesy song from 2003."
"But I know… you were just like me with someone disappointed in you," said Junior, continuing to quote another lyric.
"Thanks for those sage words, but—" Bowsette began.
"…and that person was you, daddy. Yourself."
If you can't accept yourself, how can I? Why should I? These thoughts played upon Junior's subconscious, even if he was too blinded by his own bias to see it.
"Why is it okay for you to be who you wanna be?" Junior whined.
"It's… no one's policing you," Mario began, but Junior interrupted him, yelling at Bowsette, whose fists were clenched and whose teeth were being gritted down.
"Answer me, daddy! Or mommy! Or whoever you are, you LIAR!"
Bowsette nearly yelled out in anger, but the genuine hurt and pain on Junior's face moved her.
Why am I suddenly so angry? Bowsette thought. And at Junior... this isn't like me…
Bowsette fought against her first reactions, wiped a stray tear from her eye, and patiently walked on up to Junior, arms extended for a hug.
Junior looked pensively up at Bowsette, but failed to close the distance. Everyone was watching. Although Junior knew this should be the end of it, there was that part of him that just didn't want to make it this easy for Bowsette… it just wasn't fair, darnit…
"You can be whoever you want to," Bowsette said slowly after several moments of deep reflection. "You're right. Deep down, I'm not happy with myself. But here's a secret I've been keeping. I never have been. And maybe I'm kinda messed up for thinking that changing who I am on the outside will help me grow on the inside rather than the other way around, but... right now I'm in love, Junior, and I'm really happy."
She looked deeply into Junior's eyes, trying to convey her unwavering love for the very confused kid.
"We're digital beings," she explained. "Our lives are at the mercy of powers beyond our ken. All I want - all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. For you to be your own person. You don't have to justify yourself to me."
Be my own person?! Junior thought. Like, implying I'm not already?! What am I, then? A joke? A child?!
Junior's lower lip quivered and he began to blubber, but then he recalled the strength he felt the night previous during the ceremony.
He had the eyes and ears of the crowd. A whole field of possibilities fanned out before him. He looked around. He knew what was expected of him, that's for sure.
Princess Peach, who was watching the whole scene intently, felt disarmed completely by Bowsette's tenderness.
Mario echoed Bowsette's love and concern.
Bowser Junior then turned to the stands, saw the pitying faces of the crowd, and made a dramatic about-face.
This is my chance to be my own man.
"Nah! Miss me with that fruity-tooty SHIT! Hugging's for LOSERS! I GOTTA GO FAST!"
"Junior, wait!" Bowsette cried, but she was too late. The Koopa Kid leapt into Mario's Mach 8 and sped off in a hurry.
"Let him-a go," Mario reassured Bowsette with a smile. "You did well."
"We almost had a moment," Bowsette replied, but after a second or so, she realized she had to agree. They walked up to Peach, and Bowsette half-expected her to turn up her nose at them, but she simply smiled, trophy in hand.
"Good race," she said.
"Good race," they agreed.
The air appeared to clear between them, but all three of them got the sense that the calm was artificial; following Bowser Junior's sudden outburst, they were simply in the eye of the storm.
"I believe the party date has been set for tomorrow night," Peach informed them, her every effort concentrated in not contorting her face with resentment and jealousy. "See you then."
"See you then," Mario said, his expression almost apologetic.
Bowsette quickly and silently dragged the plumber away from the track and boarded her approaching airship with him, flanked by the Koopalingettes.
"What was that about?" Bowsette said, finally opening her mouth when the couple was alone in the quarters where they'd had so much fun the night before. "First you don't shoot her, and now…"
Mario shrugged. He felt tired. "Now what?"
"THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT HER! Stop playing STUPID!" she screamed, but Mario was unfazed.
He took her hand in his and kissed it.
"She doesn't hold a candle to you," Mario said, looking deeply into Bowsette's eyes, but it was a lie, even if just a white lie, and although she seemed to know it, she let him pepper her with kisses and unzip her leather suit to reveal her frilly lace black bra and g-string panties.
"No," she said, covering up her lingerie. "I'm all sweaty…"
"You say that like-a it's a bad thing," Mario jested, nuzzling her neck with his mustache as he kissed it while running his large hands up and down her back.
"I… still haven't forgiven you yet…"
And yet, she succumbed to his ravishing.
Deep within Princess Peach's Castle, the trophy was handed off to a Toad to be placed in the trophy hall, where years upon years of trophies, stickers, stars, stamps, and other collectibles were catalogued, stacked, and forgotten.
Princess Peach pampered herself with some alone time. She took a long, thoughtful epsom salt bubble bath with essential oils, scrubbed her skin clean, combed her blonde hair, and walked into her sitting room at last, where Daisy and the other As - Rosalina, Zelda, Lucina, Palutena, and Bayonetta - were supposed to be waiting.
However, only Daisy was there, and she was twiddling her thumbs nervously, expectantly, even.
"Hello…" Peach began, but she quickly saw that all was not well in Daisy's soul. "Is… something the matter? Where is everyone?"
Daisy bit her lip.
How do I tell her? Should I even tell her?
Peach sat down quickly and took her best friend's hand. "Daisy… tell me. What's on your mind?"
"Well, it's a couple of things," Daisy began. "First off, Luigi's been avoiding me all day. I don't understand it."
"He's probably just as confused as we are," Peach continued.
Daisy shook her head. "No, this isn't like him. He always confides in me."
Peach embraced her friend. They each felt each others' hearts beating and calmed down a bit. "We'll get through this, Daisy."
"Will we really, though?" Daisy asked softly. "Everyone's… well… the other girls… they've… gone off…"
There was something alarming in Daisy's tone. If Peach had any body hair, every strand would have been standing on end.
"Where have they gone?" Peach asked intently.
"I don't know if this is for sure, but I heard a rumor…"
Peach nearly leapt from her seat, her face ghastly and pale. "What rumor?! I'M SICK OF BEING KEPT IN THE DARK ABOUT EVERYTHING! ANSWER ME!"
A third voice resounded rather confidently from the doorway. "Ohhh, I do believe it's something about people being allowed to try out the Super Crown…"
Peach spun to see the Goddess Palutena, who was standing in the doorway clad in a short-cut, tight-fitting white cocktail dress; she was looking at the vulnerable Peach very, very suggestively.
"Palutena…" Peach finally began as her eyes ran up and down her beautiful figure.
"She isn't the only one," a British voice continued, and Peach spun around to regard Bayonetta, who was standing in the opposite doorway, her hair-outfit contorted into a dominatrix get-up.
Peach flushed hotly and looked between the two women, who were now slowly making their way towards her, and to Daisy, whose guilty expression confused the princess.
"What's going on with these experiments?! What is this?" Peach asked, weak at the knees. "Are you… are you here to stop me from interfering?!"
But Peach didn't believe her own words; she could sense no ill intent from the two tall women.
"This is an intervention," said Palutena at last. "We just don't want you to suffer in loneliness anymore."
Peach looked away as Palutena gently took one hand, and Bayonetta the other. "B-b-but…"
Daisy shrugged her shoulders and backed away towards the opposite couch quietly.
"Please," Bayonetta began, lightly touching Peach's shoulder. "Sit down, relax."
Peach's heart thumped in her chest as Palutena brought her face closer to hers than she ever had before and held up her dainty chin.
Daisy's eyes were glued to the proceedings as Palutena's lips met Peach's.
Luigi almost hesitated at the gates to Bowser's Castle, but then he sucked it up and walked on in, head held high and ready to give Bowsette a piece of his mind.
Only, no one was at the reception desk, and no one seemed to know where she was. There was, however, a faint sound of voices echoing from beyond a far corridor. He could hear some of the Ultimate crew joking around - Mega Man, Ryu, King Dedede, Lucina…
What's going on? What are all they doing here?
He tiptoed down the hallway towards the voices, Poltergust at the ready in case Queen Booette should make her return.
A/N: As always, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! How'd ya like it? Was it fun? :D What do you think is gonna happen next? Reviews keep me going! Faves and Follows MUCH appreciated!