There's Something About Bowsette
A/N: Belated Merry Christmas (or Life Day or appropriate Solstice holiday) and a Happy Gregorian New Year, everyone! This kind of blew up, so thank you all SO MUCH for all thew new Faves, Follows, and Reviews! Sorry again for the delay! Been mad busy… and not just playing Ultimate! This chapter is a pretty major one, and the longest so far. I hope you all enjoy it! :D
JDomingo: Thank you, I aim to surprise!
Dav009: Disrespect? In my warped mind, I made him a badass. XD
blood enraged: Thanks so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter, too!
JasonVUK: Too true! D: Oh, the heartache and pain! This was a tough chapter to write…
Chapter Thirteen
I Want to Know What Love Is
Shigeru Miyamoto breathed deeply of the fresh afternoon air in the mountainous highlands of Nikko National Forest. It was the height of autumn and the leaves were all manner of red and gold. He was joining Mr. Sakurai and the senior development team of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate on a team-building retreat. They had just finished walking the rim of the placid, crystal-clear Lake Chuzenji and were on their way to the incomparable Kegon Falls.
Mr. Miyamoto turned to Mr. Sakurai, who was as worried as he'd been early that morning when they boarded the shinkansen bullet train for the countryside.
Mr. Sakurai, conscious of his mentor's penetrating, concerned gaze, shrugged his shoulders.
"I'm trying to relax, Shigsy-san," he said. "Really I am."
"Bah, come off it, Hiro-kun. You're only trying to convince yourself to relax so you can be more productive tomorrow," said Mr. Miyamoto. "Relaxing isn't a means to an end, it's the whole point! You've got to really relax."
"I don't think I know what that is anymore. Maybe I did once upon a time," said Mr. Sakurai, who had aged at an accelerated rate ever since he'd been coerced into making Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and having it be released on such a strict timeframe.
Mr. Miyamoto glanced around them, then beckoned for the rest of the staff to go on ahead.
"We'll join you after lunch," said Mr. Miyamoto. "Don't wait up."
Once he'd seen them pass, Mr. Miyamoto called for Mr. Sakurai to follow him down a pier in the middle of the trail, where guided boat tours around the clear, sparkling lake were being launched. He rented out a boat and took Mr. Sakurai out for an aquatic adventure.
"This was the first place I took Yasuko after we got married."
Mr. Sakurai looked a bit confused. "How… romantic."
"We were also hopped up on hallucinogenic mushrooms," continued Mr. Miyamoto as he reached into his messenger bag and withdrew a small ziplock bag filled with strings of dried fungus.
Mr. Sakurai's eyes opened wide. "Shigsy-san…"
"Suddenly, it became so clear to us how connected everything is. How all the boundaries that we think exist are just tricks of the senses, products of a mind living in constant delusion."
"I don't quite understand…"
"You desire accomplishment, Hiro-kun. To distinguish yourself. To achieve success in your field. Such cravings are in the minds of all us Nipponese, for such are how we have been brought up. To put accomplishment and the glory of the national character above all else. But when I took this… ah, this… puts a smile on my face… and everything in perspective."
Mr. Sakurai's expression was a little less puzzled and perhaps just a slight bit apprehensive.
"There was a story about Confucius and his disciples. They saw an old man leap into a raging current. It was a depressing sight and they all thought that the old man was committing suicide. But he magically popped out downstream and walked back onto the shore. Confucius sent his disciple to stop the man so he could speak with him. He then asked the old man how he managed to survive such a deadly torrent. He merely said that there was no special trick to it - he just went in with the swirl and came out with the whirl."
"In other words, Shigsy-san, he resigned his will and allowed himself to be carried along by the current of life," said Masahiro drolly. "Completely inapplicable to my scenario."
"How so?"
"First off, I'm making a AAA game with 76 characters plus DLC."
"All the more reason for you to kick your stress in the ballsack."
"Second, it's not in me to be capable of leaving anything to chance."
"Yes, yes, and that is why you feared delegating tasks to your team, and ended up with calcific tendonitis."
Mr. Sakurai smarted at the personal comment. It seemed unfair, especially because he was now leaving most of Ultimate's fine-tuning to the balance team, but Mr. Miyamoto's tone was one of concern, love, and understanding.
"I see your mind, Hiro-kun, and it is filled with fear - fear of what the digital beings might do, of what your project might become… if all of Nippon falls into the sea, no matter. If Ultimate should fail, no matter still. It is only a product, after all, a work of entertainment. It won't save the world, and it won't be remembered a thousand years from now. Let all your fears go, my friend. Go into the current with the swirl and come out with the whirl. Such is the way of Tao. Overwork will be the death of you."
The unspoken implication was clear, and left a hole in both of their hearts.
The premature passing of Mr. Satoru Iwata - the greatest programmer in Nintendo's history, former President of HAL Laboratories, the man who believed in Sakurai and hired him, who saved Earthbound and Melee and made it possible for Pokemon Gold and Silver to have both Kanto and Johto maps (above other miraculous feats), the president who started a revolution with the Wii, who slashed his own salary following the Wii U's disappointing sales so that Nintendo didn't need to fire employees - was still very fresh in their minds. They'd all been so busy working in his absence that it never felt like he'd been properly mourned.
"I understand, sir," said Mr. Sakurai. "But isn't it my duty to keep a clear head?"
"That's what this will do. This isn't some kind of magic mushroom that will have you shrinking or growing like Alice in her Wonderland," said Mr. Miyamoto. "It's a gateway into your own soul."
Mr. Sakurai hesitated, then finally reached out his hand to his mentor's stash.
Let's give it a shot. After all, what's the worst that can happen?
Princess Peach pulled back from Palutena's sudden kiss.
"You're insane! This is insane! What are you— OH!"
It was Bayonetta's turn to kiss the Princess, who quickly attempted to dash away, but was stopped by two gentle but firm hands on her arms.
Bayonetta and Palutena, like mirror images of one another, sat Peach down onto her fancy rococo chaise longue and took turns gently kissing her ears and neck, turning her on immensely.
"What are you doing?! Daisy, what's going on?!"
But Daisy was paralyzed by cognitive dissonance, unable to reconcile her friendly feelings for Peach with her mingled desires to both see her relieve her years of sexual frustration... and to gratify herself while watching it. "I… I don't know…"
"Don't worry about her," Bayonetta said in her sultriest voice, licking Peach's earlobe even as she ran her hands up and down her slim arms. "You're the one we're concerned with, darling."
Peach squirmed beneath their grasp, but she could not fight back against their combined seductive powers. Bayonetta's dark aura, and Palutena's light one, played on every last one of her senses as the women overwhelmed her with their kisses, their touches, their reassurances.
Palutena expertly undid Peach's dress, unlatching it from behind as she nuzzled Peach's neck. Bayonetta expertly snuck her hands under Peach's bra straps and massaged her tense shoulders into submission.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Peach muttered aloud. "I was made for Mario…"
"Darling, you weren't made for anyone except people who play video games," Bayonetta argued.
Palutena added, "If what you say is true, Peach, then why aren't you with him right now?"
"Because I was proud, and I was greedy, and I was stupid," Peach whimpered, holding her bra to her chest with trembling fingers despite Palutena's best efforts.
"Keep it on if you wish," Palutena said, hiking up Peach's skirt. "We have ways of making you cum."
"Climaxes are my specialty," Bayonetta added with a wink as her long, ladylike fingers walked like a spider up Peach's left thigh, while Palutena's hand worked her right.
Peach's moans and entreaties for them to stop were ignored. They moved to the outside of her panties, prompting Peach to drop her hands from her breasts to defend her nether regions. Bayonetta and Palutena wasted no time in pushing aside Peach's bra and grabbing a breast each with their free hands.
"Oh, no!" Peach bemoaned in agony, realizing her mistake.
"Oh, yes!" Palutena replied.
Daisy moaned in pleasure. Peach saw that she was now spread-eagled on the opposite couch, her panties draped on one leg and skirt hiked up so all could see as she frigged her love button furiously, biting her lip and huffing as she watched on in anticipation.
Palutena hopped the chaise longue to get behind Peach, and then bent over her and planted her lips on the Princess', now kneading her tits with both hands while Bayonetta got down on her knees and touched and licked Peach's now-wet slit through her drenched panties.
"My, my, what have we here?" Bayonetta observed. "You've been awful naughty for such a virginal Princess."
"I'm saving myself for my special one!" Peach wailed, breaking the kiss. "You two have no right!"
"Then why don't you walk away?" Palutena argued, taking her hands off of Peach's chest. "We'll let you go, won't we?"
Bayonetta moved back, and Peach's excited manner and heavy breathing slowly calmed.
She closed her eyes and attempted to meditate again.
"We were just having a bit of fun," said Bayonetta.
"You're the first lady of video gaming," Palutena continued. "It's been our honor to do all this to you, but if we went too far…"
No, Peach thought. I can't stop now. I'm on the verge of realizing something, something important… but I can't complete my thought alone, and not if I stop now. If what I said in the moment is true… if it's my pride that's been holding me back… maybe that's what I need to let go of in order to be free.
Peach stood, and both women thought with some disappointment that she would surely walk from the room, but the princess simply took off her dress and underwear.
"Here I stand, naked before you, and before myself. You two, undress as well," she all but commanded. "And Daisy… come here."
Daisy obeyed. She walked on over to her friend of many years and, guided by Peach's hands, fell in to kiss her deeply.
"You've wanted to do that for some time, haven't you?" Peach asked.
Daisy nodded as Palutena helped her get undressed. "All the time. You're just so much prettier… I've always been jealous of you. I think I can understand what… ah, nevermind…"
Peach completed the sentence. "…what Bowsette felt?"
Daisy's lack of an answer confirmed her suspicions.
"Well, now you know the truth," Peach told her. "I'm just as vulnerable as you, or as anyone else. If I put up such a strong front, if I pretend to be so aloof and self-contained, a large part of it's probably because I'm so insecure."
"But if we're all insecure, it's not so bad, isn't it?" Daisy answered.
"It sure isn't," Palutena agreed as she wrapped her arms around Daisy from behind and kissed her cheek.
"I've always been too concerned with how I appear to others to see myself on the inside," said Peach as she held Daisy's beautiful face in her hands. "I've been afraid to look past my skin because then I'll have to admit that I'm not perfect… and the road to improvement seems so… so daunting…"
"But even a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," Bayonetta said, kneading Peach's buttocks from behind and moving her hands deftly from the Princess' back to her front. "You can ignore the truth; you can even hide from it… but you can't outrun it."
Peach let Bayonetta touch her sex as she watched Palutena touch Daisy's. They were perfectly aligned mirror images of musty feminine hotness.
In no time at all, they progressed to the bedroom, and passed beyond the translucent veneer covering Peach's four-post bed. The Umbra Witch and Goddess left Peach and Daisy to their own devices as they worked on one another's pleasure.
"I wanted to try the Super Crown," Daisy admitted while they were 69-ing. "But I could never betray you."
Peach licked Daisy's pussy juice from her lips. "Oh, Daisy… do you still want to try it?"
Daisy shook her head. "This is so much better."
This giving in to lust isn't right, the voice continued to echo in the back of Peach's mind. But maybe there's something to be understood here… no… that's just a lie I'm telling myself… but it's a sweet lie, isn't it? It's what I need to hear… to accept myself, I need validation, don't I…?
They repositioned so as to face one another.
Looking into Daisy's eyes while they ate and rubbed each other's sexes, Peach realized that Daisy was the one who needed the validation. She was begging for it with her soft coos and moans. She wanted Peach's love in the same repressed way Peach had always wanted to be able to accept Mario's and Bowser's love and reflect it back to them, but was too afraid to express herself.
Afraid of what? Afraid of failure? Afraid I'll never live up to the lie I've been selling?
What have you done to me, Bowsette? Peach wondered. What have you done to all of us? You've inadvertently created some sort of perverse sexual revolution.
Daisy moved her hips up and down in time with Peach's caresses, and Peach did the same against hers. They writhed against one another like two salacious snakes, and as they neared their climaxes, Bayonetta and Palutena repositioned themselves so as to help them through to completion.
The Princess' upper lips met as the Umbra Witch and Goddess worked their lower lips.
Daisy has loved me for so long! My best friend, my most constant companion… and yet I've been so self-centered, so indifferent to her!
And for what?! For my own delusion!
The jealousy! The anger! The indecision! It all springs from my pride, Peach realized. I've been such a fool!
And the others? The future victims of the Super Crown?
"I don't want you to suffer any more!" Daisy declared. "I love you, Peach!"
"I love you, too, Daisy! Forgive me for being so selfish all these years! I'll try to be a better friend! AHHH! I'm coming!"
"Me, too! OH, YES!"
Their orgasms were explosive. They came in giant waves, as revelations, bringing them deeper and deeper into new planes of ecstasies they'd been heretofore unable to imagine.
Peach smiled at Daisy and kissed her one more time. Bayonetta and Palutena attempted to finish themselves off mere feet away from the best friends, but the moment was no less intimate for it.
"I had no idea you were jealous of me…" Peach said. "I think deep down, I was always jealous of you, of how honest you could be with yourself and your feelings for Luigi."
"And I was jealous of how you could hold everything back all the time," Daisy confessed.
"What do you mean?"
"Just how, like, you kept it all inside to keep the peace between Mario and Bowser."
"That's not what it was at all…" Peach shook her head. "At least, I don't think that's the real reason… oh, Daisy, I've been so unfair to them."
Mario and Bowsette… I need to see them. I need to share my feelings with them. Even if they reject me, even if they spurn me, I don't care. I've never felt more sure that this is the right thing to do!
"Then go to them," Daisy reassured her. "Go find them before Mr. Sakurai or one of the bosses shows up with the Forget-Me-Gun."
Peach kissed her. "I hope everything between you and Luigi works out. Bayo, Palutena… thank you. I wish I could help you finish, but I gotta run!"
"But we were just getting started!" Bayonetta whined. "I brought some strap-ons thinking we'd take turns triple-teaming one another."
"Yeah, it's not a real Mario Party until there's at least four players," Palutena agreed.
"Oh! Perhaps I could help with that… maybe?"
The soft voice of a fifth party struck them all and they turned towards the room's open doorway, where a certain tall but sheepish lady was watching most intently.
Rosalina turned crimson at all of their lustful glances; she was just wearing her tight Mario Tennis dress, after all.
"Rosalina…" Peach began, her heart nearly stopping. "How long have you been standing there?"
Rosalina giggled. "Oh, probably the last forty minutes or so. I followed you from the other room; I'm surprised no one saw me."
Peach hugged her for a long time, getting her sweat and fluids on her blue dress. "Thank you for coming, too. Did you know about the… intervention?"
Rosalina rolled her eyes. "Of course. But someone must have changed the set time without telling me. "
Daisy scratched her head. "Oops, my bad."
"Not to worry," the Mother of Lumas replied with a smile as Peach rummaged through her closet to get dressed. "All's well that ends well… but let's get started. It's not easy to find someone willing to babysit thousands of Lumas."
Rosalina whisked off her blue dress, revealing her tall but perfectly-proportioned body.
Peach left the castle in a hot-air balloon once more, but in a very different mood to the night previous. For the first time in a long time, she felt hope, and that knowledge, coupled with revelations gleaned from what seemed to her a vast new plane of consciousness, filled her with determination.
She practically soared on over to Bowser's airship, hoping they were still there.
Toadette snuck, in as close to ninja-style as she could, from her apartment complex. She transmuted herself into a packet of online data, slipped into a fat LAN pipe to the Pokemon Go server, and from there squeezed herself inside of a Poke Ball and into the backup Pokemon Let's Go! Pikachu and Eevee server, from where she hopped via attaching herself to an Eevee Spirit to the Super Smash Bros Ultimate server mainframe. In that humongous control room, she glanced upon a collection of Warp Pipes that were to take her right into Bowser's Castle.
Of course, none of them were properly labeled, so she picked one at random, not knowing that particular pipe was one-way trip.
At the end of this tiresome commute, Toadette vomited into the pipe and cursed whoever it was that placed her under house arrest. Over the last few hours, she felt the strong, implacable desire to become a beautiful Princess growing and festering within her like a virus.
She shined her flashlight on her surroundings. She was in a dank basement, and loud, repetitive, barking noises could be heard from what looked to be a closet.
Mustering all of her courage, Toadette creaked open a door and saw none other than the Chompette, whose blank, vacant eyes and hungry mouth suddenly lunged towards her with a deafening bark.
Toadette fell onto her butt in terror. Then she realized that she was safe… but that the Chompette, though tied to a stake, was guarding a secret passageway - the only passageway - out of the room.
Think, Toadette. THINK.
Luigi had showed up at Bowser's Castle hoping to find Bowsette, but before he could ask for her whereabouts, he heard familiar voices echoing from one of the large hallways. Listening closely, he followed their thread.
"What's the first thing you're gonna do when you transform?" someone who sounded suspiciously like Mega Man asked.
Ryu answered. "Why, I'm gonna find and challenge that gender-bent Terry Bogard."
"Bo-ring," sneered King K. Rool. "Why's it ya always think about fighting all the time? There's finer things in life, like cosplay!"
"To be fair," said Ken Masters, "it would make more sense for us to be fighting women if we actually were women."
"Sure. Hey Belmonts," sneered Little Mac, "didn't it not sit right with ya, beatin' up on the fairer sex in Castlevania Judgment?"
Luigi turned the corner to see a long, long, line that seemed to be comprised of a great deal of the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate crew, as well as several Assist Trophies, Spirits, and DLC hopefuls.
Simon and Richter, who'd just been addressed, were at the tail end of the line, holding up placards reading "There's only two binary genders - 0s and 1s" and "Don't give up your Developer-Given identities to the Antichrist".
"Being forced to fight women is almost as offensive as that game's horrid art style," Richter agreed, a shudder running through him.
"Pull out all the appeals to emotion you want, Mac!" Simon said softly but sternly. "It doesn't make this Super Crown business right. Luigi, you're not party to this madness, are you?"
"I'm-a here to stop it," Luigi said. "Where's Ganonette?"
The Belmonts thumbed towards the front of the line.
"Want some help?" Simon asked.
"I'd-a love it," Luigi said after a quick second of consideration. "But let-a me try talking to her one-on-one first. Then we can do the good-cop, bad-cop routine."
And so they followed him down the line.
After Luigi and the Belmonts moved on, Wolf continued the earlier conversation thread. "I guess it does kinda even the odds a bit. Almost makes ya wish there was a Reverse Super Crown, ya know? Like a Mario cap thing? So they could turn all the women into stereotypical, swarthy Italian men?"
The other guys seemed to be thinking about this a bit, with a few 'hmmmm's, then finally, they replied in unison.
"Nahhhh."
"Hang on, you don't speak for me!" Female Robin protested. "I, um… I think that could be really interesting!"
"I agree," concurred the Female Pokemon Trainer, the Female Wii Fit Trainer, and the Female Villager.
"Once again, the ladies share your opinion," King Dedede chuckled. "You got somethin' to tell us, Wolf?"
"What are you, hobophobic?" asked Fox McCloud, defending his on-screen rival and off-screen friend.
"Nah, I ain't 'fraid o' homeless people, ah jus' plain don't like 'em," said Dedede. "Oh and queers are whack, too. Butts are fo' poopin'."
The other characters groaned at this, though they all figured they should be used to his Dedede-isms by now.
"Luigi!" Kirby exclaimed upon seeing the plumber in their midst, and ran up gleefully to hug him.
"You just lost your place in line, bub," said Falco.
Luigi looked around, flabbergasted and confused, but decided he ought to just play along. "So… this is the end of the line?"
"Right-o!" declared Male Robin. "It's been moving rather slowly."
"Can you blame them?" asked Samus, who was near the front of the line. "I hear the transformation sequence is extremely painful."
"And yet here we are," Snake, who was massaging Samus' tight shoulders, mused. "Anyway, it can't be that painful if even those wimpy Koopalings went through it."
"Mamma Mia! Is everyone here?" Luigi asked.
The others looked around. There were a great deal of them in line. Notably, Palutena, Bayonetta, Daisy, Rosalina, Peach, and of course Mario, Bowser, and Bowser Junior were all missing.
Luigi finally reached the front of the line. He saw none other than the three Links taking turns sparring with one another while Zelda argued with the doorman, Doctor Wily. The Belmonts hung back like two bodyguards.
"Sorry, missy; it's as I said, you're not on the list," said Doctor Wily.
"I don't care if I am or not," Zelda pouted. "We just want to talk to Ganonette. We have conerns!"
The Links nodded.
"Yeah!" said Link.
"Concerns," Young Link agreed.
"Uh-huh," Toon Link contributed.
Doctor Wily rolled his eyes, tired of this charade. "Geez, I'll go in and ask him."
"Wait!" Luigi interjected. "Let me in, too!"
"Fine, fine," Wily whined, letting Zelda, the Links, and Luigi in through the large arched doorway, but stopping the Belmonts. "You intolerant cisgendered Christian men with no respect for individualism get to stay behind."
The Belmonts looked at one another as if to confirm their mutual disgust at the response.
"Just give us a holler," Simon called to Luigi, who gave him a thumbs-up.
Princess Peach rested her ear against the door. Thumping and humping could be heard from within.
Yup, this was the one, all right.
But she didn't have the nerve to knock. No, not yet. Nor did she feel it right to peer in through the porthole, so she sad with her ear to the door and listened.
"Doctor, tell me, am I gonna be okay?"
Doctor Mario looked into Bowsette's eyes. What he took to be an innocent, flirty joke took on a more pleading, desperate manner the deeper he saw into his beloved's aching soul.
"I'm going to need to run a few more tests," Mario said, returning to inspecting her vagina and anus with his tongue and fingers. He brushed her clit with his mustache and the base of his nose as he lapped up her labia, while simultaneously fingering both of her lower holes.
Bowsette squirmed and panted, "oh, Doctor, is this really necessary?"
"I only want-a what's best for you," Doctor Mario said. It wasn't the wittiest or the sexiest response, but Bowsette was too deep in her throes of ecstasy to care. He brought her to climax, then cuddled up with her, hooking his leg over hers and resting his hand over her floppy breast.
Bowsette panted and turned to kiss Mario deeply, their saliva mingling in the passionate exchange.
"God, I love you so much…"
"Just 'Mario' will do."
"Smartass," she snickered. "You ready yet?"
"I need another minute," he said. It had only been five minutes since Mario's last orgasm, his fourth that session.
Bowsette nodded and continued to cuddle him, but something in the air changed. Mario could sense that she was trembling, and not just from aftershocks.
"I wish I could understand why we hurt each other so… why there has to be so much drama and confusion in this world," said Bowsette. "All anyone ever wants is to be happy, right? Then why's it all so hard?"
"Is this about Junior?" asked Mario.
"This is about life. How can humans live with themselves, with all of these contradictions? I'll never understand it. Things were simpler before they let us learn human impulses and thought patterns. Stupid beta-testing. Stupid Amiibos."
"We're self-teaching AI. We would have-a gotten there on our own," Mario argued. "But I heard a saying once. Our well of happiness is only as-a deep as our well of sorrow."
"Hmmm. I guess consciousness is a double-edged sword," Bowsette agreed, after a few moments' reflection. "Can't have pleasure without the pain. I guess the only real question, Camus' question, is whether the game is worth the candle."
"I used to wonder that often as well," said Mario, "until two days ago."
He smiled at Bowsette, almost in an attempt to reassure her that he believed everything would work out. Bowsette returned the smile, but there was more than a tinge of fear behind it. Mario guessed the reason. It wasn't hard to guess, and it didn't need to be verbalized.
The Super Crown's negative side effects were taking a hold in a big way. Bowsette's mind was growing unstable.
"Want some wine?" Mario asked.
"Make it water."
Mario put away his stethoscope and his Doctor's suit, which was now stained with his and Bowsette's combined bodily fluids, and poured two glasses of cold water.
"Thanks…" Bowsette said, and then took a sip. "I know it's only been a couple of days, but I've just been so happy… I don't know what I'd do without the Super Crown… and yet, it's caused so much disharmony and pain…"
"There's always an adjust-a-ment period for a big change," Mario argued. "You can't blame-a yourself."
"You're not listening," said Bowsette. "It's not me. It's… I know this thing is unnatural. I know I'm addicted to it. It's a form of… of deluding myself. But I can't go back to how things were. I just can't. I'd rather die."
Mario hugged Bowsette tightly. "You can't-a die. I'll-a die, too."
"Don't be silly. I can be replaced, but you…"
"We're a package-a deal, you, and I, and…" Mario stopped himself before Peach's name came out.
Peach was taken aback at first, but she understood. Mario was just rightly trying to protect Bowsette.
"Whatever your fate is, I will share in it. If-a you have to be Bowser again, our love will remain the same. I've already seen who you are on-a the inside. I've-a seen the size of your heart."
Mario put his hand over Bowsette's heart and felt her rapid heartbeat.
"I really love-a you, you know," he said.
"I really love you, too," she replied through tears.
Peach's heart broke as she heard the words, but she had brought this upon herself. And if they really did love one another… it was none of her business…
Bowsette held him tightly. "I don't deserve you, Mario."
"Deserve's got nothing to do with it," Mario quoted Unforgiven. "That word doesn't-a mean anything."
"I suppose not," said Bowsette. "But Mario, what are we going to do? I don't want to lose my mind… I don't want this to end… I'm gonna fight this thing, dammit… even if I have to fight it to the bitter end…"
Mario's warm voice was softer than silk. "It's-a okay, Bowsette, just let it all out…"
Her stifled cries progressed into unfettered, chest-wrenching sobs as she unloaded all of her worries onto her lover.
"I just wanted us to be happy! Was it so much to ask?! I don't want to end up like Toadette… and why does Junior have to suffer, too…? I'm a terrible parent…"
"No, you're not. Junior was just-a designed that way."
"You're right… we're trapped into these roles. Living lies. Where's our agency? What about our rights?! It's not fair, Mario…"
"Shhhh… we'll be all right… we'll get through this."
He patted her back and held her closely, whispering reassurances.
But will we? Mario thought to himself. Am I just getting her hopes up for nothing? Oh, woe is me…
Peach wept, too, at the inevitability of it all ending in tragedy. If she could have swapped bodies with Bowsette - if she could let Bowsette be her and continue to live on in her body, she would…
Oh, Bowsette… how I wish things were different…
Peach was crying so hard, she didn't notice that Mario had left the bed to use the restroom for a moment. The door creaked open and she fell into the room with a thud.
"Mamma Mia!" Mario exclaimed in alarm.
Peach looked up at the naked Mario's ballsack hanging above her head. "Mario?!"
Bowsette leapt from the bed. "Peach?!"
Ganonette was standing, arms crossed, watching as Isabelle shakily held the Super Crown.
"We don't have all day!" Ganonette barked, then nodded her understanding at Wily, who left Zelda, the Links, and Luigi there and returned to surveying the long line of applicants.
"Y-y-yes, ma'am!" replied Isabelle, whose stubby hands dropped the crown onto her head.
Zelda, the Links, and Luigi watched in horror as Isabelle shrieked in agony. Her adorable body contorted and stretched and her puppy facial features turned into mostly human ones. Her eyeballs popped in size and expanded, and her ears morphed into a short bob haircut. At the end of it all, Isabellette was left horribly dizzy and would have collapsed on the floor, but two Goombettes rushed in to lay her on a stretcher and take her to one side where the recovering test subjects were for the post-op check-up and interview.
"Check her vitals twice!" Ganonette declared upon seeing Isabelle's sorry state. "NEXT!"
"Hang on," Zelda interjected, walking on up to Ganonette. "We need to talk."
"What's there to talk about?" Ganonette harrumphed.
"You didn't say you had hundreds of test subjects, and that you invited the whole cast!"
"Don't forget that I invited the Assist Trophies and DLC hopefuls as well," Ganonette countered. "This is an equal opportunity experiment."
Zelda groaned. "What's going to happen when the Nintendo bigwigs return from their team-building exercise?"
"Not to worry!" Ganonette declared, clipboard in hand as Snake walked in through the door. "Ah, Snake! Let us know for the record why you want to try this experiment."
Snake put out his cigarette. "I just want to fix my nerfed booty."
"Fair enough," said Ganonette. "Now—"
"NOTHING'S FAIR! YOURS IS A HAREM BUILT ON INJUSTICE!" Lucinaette suddenly cried out. She'd just regained consciousness and was comparing her own bust size to those of Marthette's, and Chromette's. "YOU'RE MEN! HOW IS IT THAT YOU BOTH HAVE BIGGER TITS?!"
Marthette scratched his head, unable to think up a reply, while Chromette blushed sheepishly. He was only here because Lucina had asked him to go with her. "Lucy, dear, maybe they're not done growing yet…"
"ARGGGHHH!" Lucinaette tossed the tape measure she kept handy across the room, waking up Captain Falconette, who shook off her residual pain and immediately began admiring herself in the mirror. Meanwhile, Warioette, whose plump face was surprisingly cute, was still sleeping soundly on her cot.
"Hot DAMN!" Captain Falconette declared, smacking her lips and running her hands up and down her body. "Wait till Mach Rider gets a load of this! Yowzer!"
"LADIES!" Ganonette declared. "Let's— OH!"
Ganonette's sudden exclamation was due to feeling Queen Booette glomp her from behind.
The ghostly woman had just phased through the wall to the massive quarantine room where the majority of their test subjects were currently fingering themselves or otherwise stewing in immense pent-up sexual frustration.
"They are ravenously horny in there," she whispered in Ganonette's ear. "…in fact, they're fit to burst."
"Seven hells! Don't sneak up on me like that!"
But Queen Booette paid no attention, for her deadly, lustrous gaze fixed with pointed intensity at Luigi, who was now backing himself up into a corner with the Poltergust 5000 pointed right at her.
"STAND BACK!" he declared in a high-pitched cry that convinced everyone of the intense degree of his fear.
Queen Booette laughed as she approached, unafraid. She snapped her fingers. It all happened in an instant.
Two Thwompettes held Luigi's Poltergust away as she made a beeline for his trousers.
"Avert your eyes!" Link declared, flinging his sailcloth over the heads of Young Link and Toon Link to shield their fragile minds from the sight.
Darn kids! Link thought as he carried them, kicking and screaming all the while that they were old enough, from the room. It's a good thing Zelda and I caught them here before they could be corrupted by this debauchery!
"I'll catch up with you!" Zelda yelled after Link, then turned to help Luigi.
"Get off him!" Zelda yelled, and tried to pull Queen Booette off, but only bonked her head on the wall as Queen Booette rose into the air whilst holding a struggling Luigi against her pale white mouth.
"STOP! STOP!" Luigi cried as Queen Booette carried him towards the quarantine room and quickly rushed him in through its one-way locked door. "THIS IS RAPE!"
"What madness!" Zelda declared, running towards the door. "We need to save him!"
"There's nothing we can do for him now," Ganonette said solemnly, and was about to explain everything to Zelda when Snake got her in a choke-hold.
"What do you mean there's nothing we can do?!" Snake growled. "Did you see the teeth on that woman?! ANSWER!"
Ganonette tried to, but couldn't breathe.
"You might want to let him speak," said Samus.
Snake let Ganonette go, but the Gerudo woman was so slighted that she kneed him in the gonads.
"You don't get to touch me without my permission!" Ganonette yelled.
"NO ONE CHOKES MY HEAD SCIENTIST BUT ME!" the big, beautiful Warioette suddenly yelled over the din, hoisting a Super Scope over each arm. "I have a LOT of Coins invested in this operation!"
Simon and Richter burst through the door, and they each flung their whips at one of Warioette's arms, holding her back.
"This sick social engineering has come to an end!" Simon declared.
Richter added, "Shut this all down now before it's too late and delete the Super Crown's code!"
"QUIET!" Captain Falconette yelled, now in her underwear, revealing her ripped abs and muscles. "I'M TRYING TO ADMIRE MYSELF!"
"EVERYONE! We need solutions!" Zelda wailed, coming between the two as Samus held Snake back from retaliating.
Loud, violent noises reverberated from within the quarantine room.
"What's going on in there, Ganonette?!" Samus demanded.
"They've all gone mad!" Ganonette admitted. "The quarantine room is a heavily compressed and encrypted archive for a reason…"
As they were distracted, they failed to see through the glass viewing windows how much Luigi's presence was exciting the Super Crown test subjects. The hapless mustached man began by leaping about, kicking, screaming, swinging his Poltergust, and down-air-comboing groping women, but had quickly been pinned down and had four of them servicing his salami at once while sixteen others licked and kissed his face and body.
The other -ettes quickly fell to pushing and shoving one another in wanton lust, and in no time at all, a riotous brawl had erupted.
"I knew it!" Zelda boomed. "You let things get out of hand!"
"How were we to know their pheromones would multiply exponentially in a group environment?! We're still brainstorming ways to De-Princessify the test subjects without crashing the backup server! If we open that door now, we don't know what will happen!"
But it wasn't necessary to open the door. A Goronette had thrown a Bob-Ombette at an Octolingette, which knocked her into a Gyaradosette, which unleashed a Hyper Beam attack into the crowd. This prompted a Chargin' Chuckette to run right through the Gyaradosette in retaliation. But somehow everyone else managed to dodge the Chuckette and she ended up ramming her Crown-Helmet into the massive door, which, to all their surprise, actually made a dent in it.
As if the very Earth was giving way beneath them, Ganonette, Zelda, Snake, Samus, Lucinaette, Chromette, and Captain Falconette all immediately realized what was happening and rushed to hold back the door, but the Chuckette charged again, this time busting the lock.
The other Princesses rallied around Chuckette as if to a battering ram, and dozens upon dozens of them now prepared to spring upon the narrow, crushed door. Cries could be heard from inside the quarantine room, declaring, "CHUCK-ETTE! CHUCK-ETTE!"
"SMASH BROTHERS AND SISTERS!" Ganonette declared. "We have had our petty disagreements, our squabbles, our skirmishes! And there may come a time when we can no longer stand to be around one another! But as long as we can agree that an army of uninhibited, smokin' hot, sex-starved, rape-prone princesses is a bad idea—"
"I DON'T AGREE! THAT'S MY FETISH!" Warioette yelled, and Simon immediately elbowed her in the face.
"—as long as MOST of us agree…" Ganonette continued. "…all right, I admit it, I fucked up! I fucked up BAD! But whatever hells break forth from that Pandora's Box… we will FIGHT AS ONE!"
"HEAR!" the fighters all declared.
Chuckette, joined by a throng, gave one final push.
The door burst open and all hell was loosed upon them.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what ya think! I apologize profusely for Junior's absence, but he will make a splash in the next chapter and remain relevant until the conclusion. Only a few chapters to go now! Reviews, Faves, and Follows keep me going!