Hermione returned to the common room, prepared to retire for the night. However, as the portrait hole closed behind her, she spotted Draco's familiar platinum-blond hair as he sat in an armchair, patiently awaiting her return. Suppressing the curse that threatened to escape her lips, she faced him.
Draco's sharp gray eyes scrutinized Hermione's face with curiosity. Observing her rosy, red lips and flushed demeanor, he couldn't contain his shock. "You were snogging someone," he blurted out.
Her cheeks deepening in color, Hermione countered, "No, I wasn't," in a bashful tone.
"Hermione, you can't lie to me. I can tell by the look on your face that you were snogged quite thoroughly, it seems," he remarked with amusement.
Growing irritated, Hermione crossed her arms. "My love life is none of your concern, Draco." She attempted to climb the stairs, but Draco halted her progress by pulling her back with a firm grip on her arm.
"Why can't you just be honest and tell me who it is?" Draco questioned, his tone probing. "This is the second night you've returned to the common room late with a blissful look in your eye. If I didn't know any better, I would think you were snogging my godfather."
Panic surged through Hermione at his words. No, he can't know what we were doing. She made another attempt to break free, but his grip only tightened, and a mix of embarrassment and tears filled her eyes.
"Oh my god! So, it is true then. You are fraternizing with my godfather." Draco's tone was very judgmental.
Hermione, overwhelmed with shame for her actions, mumbled hopelessly, "Please don't tell anyone. I promised I would keep this a secret."
Draco released her arm, and a thoughtful expression crossed his face. "Fine, I won't tell anyone. Do you know why? Because I think you could make my godfather feel happy for once. Just don't make me have to bail you out if you get caught."
Hermione climbed the stairs, her thoughts weighing heavily on her mind. After changing into her pajamas, she lay in bed, gazing at the ceiling. The sensation of Severus' lips on hers was etched in her memory—the softness, the taste, and the firm embrace reigniting her passion for the solemn man. She yearned to experience it once more. As she drifted off to sleep her dreams, which once filled her with dread, now made her feel something completely different, arousal.
The weekend had dawned, granting Hermione the freedom to indulge in her desires. Recalling the promised butterbeer outing with Ginny, she got out of bed and ready herself for the day. After finishing her morning routine, she stood in her bath towel contemplating her muggle wardrobe. Succumbing to a mischievous impulse, she opted for light blue denim jeans and a Slytherin-colored jumper, harboring a secret hope to captivate Severus. After a swift glance in the mirror left her satisfied with her appearance, she descended the stairs, yearning for an empty common room.
Upon entering, a frown marred her face as Draco occupied an armchair. She had no desire to engage in conversation with him, especially after the embarrassment of the previous night. Attempting to tread lightly towards the painting, she hoped Draco hadn't heard her.
"Hermione," Draco called out, snapping his book shut. With a wicked grin, he approached her. "Nice jumper," he commented. "Were you hoping that someone saw it?"
Blushing at his words, Hermione asked, "Is it that obvious?"
Draco shrugged, saying, "If you're heading to the Great Hall for a quick bite, I'll join you."
Suppressing a groan, Hermione nodded slowly, not wanting to be impolite. Exiting the common room, Hermione relished the initial quietness that enveloped them, but it didn't last.
"What are your plans today? Were you hoping to see a certain..." Draco was abruptly cut off as Hermione sharply elbowed him in the ribs.
"Shut up!" she hissed in a low voice. "You promised you wouldn't say anything."
Draco cackled, saying, "It's so easy getting you riled up." Hermione initially ignored his comment until he added, "Did you have any lovely dreams last night?" Sensing he had gone too far, Draco began to run.
Hermione's eyes widened at his words, and she started to chase after him. "Get back here, Malfoy!" she shouted after him.
Draco laughed and said, "You'll have to catch me first."
Hermione gritted her teeth and quickened her steps. "When I catch you, I'm going to beat your ass!" As she whipped around the corner, she instantly skidded to a halt. If she hadn't stopped, she would've run into the back of Professor Snape. She glared at Draco as he stood there grinning like the Cheshire cat. You're lucky that he is standing here.
Professor Snape turned around and scowled at Hermione. His mouth opened, ready to dish out a harsh criticism, but he found it difficult when he saw Hermione's jumper clinging to her curves. His mind recalled the passionate kiss they shared last night. Remembering his duty as a professor, he darkened his scowl and said lowly, "Ms. Granger, now that you are an adult, do you think rules don't apply to you?" Her cheeks flushed at his words, knowing the double meaning he was trying to convey. "Five points will be taken away for your foul language," he growled. "Don't forget about your detention this evening."
Hermione had to fight hard not to smile at his words. "Yes, sir." She stared at his retreating back for a few seconds before allowing herself to breathe. Recovering quickly, she scowled at Draco. "Why must you always get me in trouble, Draco?"
Draco smiled knowingly but, for his sake, kept quiet for the rest of the walk to the Great Hall. They bid each other goodbye and retreated to their designated table. Hermione sat next to Ginny, happy to have the day to spend time with her. Being in separate common rooms made it difficult for them to see each other outside of meals and classes.
"So, did you end up telling him yet?" Ginny asked.
Hermione was in the middle of drinking her pumpkin juice. Hearing Ginny's words, she instantly started coughing. After regaining her composure, Hermione wiped her mouth with her napkin and said, "What did you say?"
Ginny rolled her eyes and said, "Hermione, I know you heard me. Did you tell the mysterious man that you like him or are you planning on going the whole year alone again?"
Hermione narrowed her eyes at Ginny. "For your information, there is nothing wrong with being alone, and yes, I did tell him I like him." After the words left her mouth, she regretted them.
Ginny's eyes widened. She grabbed Hermione's shoulders excitedly and said, "Tell me everything that happened. Did he say yes? Did you two kiss?"
Hermione tried to come up with a lie, but nothing came to mind. Deciding that half-truths may be the best way out of this, she said quietly, "Yes, I think he does return the same sentiment, and yes, we may have shared a small kiss." Seeing Ginny get a dreamy look in her eye, Hermione sighed in annoyance. "Why is my love life so important to you?"
Ginny finally released Hermione's shoulders and said, "Because, after the challenging year we had last year, you deserve to be happy." Ginny lowered her voice slightly and whispered, "Harry was worried that you would never be happy again. He told me that…" Ginny sucked in a breath and continued talking in a hushed voice. "He told me that you wouldn't leave your room for weeks and you were having nightmares. He was so worried about you. We all were."
Hermione grimaced at her words. She hated remembering the turmoil she went through. Night after night, she would find herself dreaming about the Shrieking Shack. She would picture herself sometimes lying in her own pool of blood. Unaware that she had started crying, she was startled when Ginny pulled her into a tight embrace. After feeling her warm embrace and recalling the dreams she used to have, the floodgates had opened. Mortified, Hermione jumped up from the table and fled out of the Great Hall as sobs wracked through her body.
Unable to run any longer, Hermione collapsed into an alcove, tears blurring her vision. The familiar feelings of terror and loneliness consumed her, and her heart began to race wildly against her chest. The haunting echoes of Voldemort's voice filled her ears, taunting her repeatedly. Lost in her own painful reality, she pictured herself back in the Shack, pleading for her life.
Professor Snape was the first one to discover her in the alcove, tears streaming down her face. His heart lurched at the sight of her, realizing the depth of her trauma from the war. Disregarding their public setting, he approached the crying witch with care. Kneeling down to her level, he softly whispered her name, "Hermione." He patiently waited for her eyes to meet his, but she remained unresponsive. "Hermione," he called, this time a bit louder. Gently extending his hand, he shook her, hoping to rouse her from the grip of the terrible nightmare. Eventually, her eyes met his. "Hermione, it's not real. You're at Hogwarts."
Hearing Severus speak her name calmed her. She felt her breathing return to normal and the voice of Voldemort was gone. Witnessing relief wash over her features, he felt her instantly cling to him, tears streaming down her face. He paid no heed to onlookers as he gently lifted her off the ground and carried her down to the dungeons. Once within the safety of his classroom, he carefully settled her into a chair.
He waited for her tears to subside before speaking. Once they did, he cleared his throat and asked, "How long have you experienced these episodes?"
Hermione flinched at his inquiry, unwilling to disclose the truth to him. She looked down at her shoes, harboring a sense of self-loathing for her moment of weakness. I thought I had it under control.
"Hermione, look at me," he insisted.
She shook her head and whimpered pitifully, "I'm fine."
"You are not fine," he argued. "Now answer my question."
Hermione kept her eyes fixed on the floor. "Since the war ended," she uttered quietly. Disliking how he treated her like a wounded animal, her gaze lifted from the ground, glaring at him. "I don't need you to feel bad for me. I am an adult. I can do this on my own without help."
"Listen, you insufferable little witch, I know you think you know everything. I know you think that you will be just fine and that you can control it, but it's been a full year, Hermione. I can tell that it hasn't gotten any better for you," he growled in annoyance. Instantly, he regretted his words when he saw the pain that filled her eyes. He knew he shouldn't have called her insufferable, but his patience was wearing thin. Not one to apologize for anything, he took a deep breath and tried to continue the conversation, hoping his temper didn't ruin the progress they had made. Before he could speak, she beat him to it.
"What else can I do? I have tried everything. I have nightmares constantly. When I was living with Harry and Ron, I never left the house. I couldn't even leave my own bedroom half the time. You have no idea what it's like day after day dealing with it when I'm supposed to be this brave Gryffindor that everyone thinks I am." Her voice started off with a low rumble, but by the end, she was full-fledged shouting at him.
Severus disliked being yelled at. He turned his back for a few seconds to regain some composure. If it were anyone else but Hermione, he would have easily sent them on their way. However, it was her. Somehow, she had wormed her way into his heart, and all he wanted to do was make her demons go away no matter the cost. Turning back to her, he silently contemplated telling her if he should share his own inner torments. Deciding that his classroom was not the right place to have this conversation, he approached the painting and muttered the password. Once opened, he turned back to Hermione and said, "Will you join me for a few minutes?"
Hermione, still angry at him for calling her insufferable, hesitantly stood up from the chair. "Will you refrain from calling me names?"
A pang of guilt filled his stomach for his slip of the tongue. Knowing there was no other way to rectify it, he muttered a swift apology and agreed to keep his comments to himself. Hermione followed him inside and immediately planted herself on the couch.
Once she was comfortable, he immediately said, "What I tell you does not leave this room. If I hear you speak of this to anyone, you will spend every night here at Hogwarts scrubbing cauldrons."
Hermione shuddered at his words. "I won't. You know me, Severus. I don't gossip, and I don't share personal things with anyone."
Pleased at her words, he took a deep shuddering breath. "I know what you are going through, Hermione, because I too have struggled with it for years. I may not show it, but turning into a monster and living your worst nightmare sure changes someone."
"I don't think you're a monster," Hermione responded delicately.
He scoffed at her words, unwilling to accept them. "That's where you are wrong. I am a monster."
Hermione shook her head in disagreement. "No, you're not." Knowing this could potentially cost her another detention or loss of points, she began to speak freely. "You may have been forced to do things you didn't want to do, but I know that isn't truly what you wanted. You have already told me all the things you have done, but I know in my heart that if you had a real choice in the end, you wouldn't have done any of it. You may be an asshole, Severus, but you are not a monster." A few seconds of silence filled the room. "You called me insufferable. I think we are even now on name-calling," Hermione quipped when she saw him flinch at the word "asshole."
Relaxing slightly from her witty remark, he leaned back onto the couch and contemplated his next words carefully. "I know you may not be willing to hear this, but I think you should consider taking a potion to help you."
Hermione's smile from the jest she made was instantly wiped off her face. "Why? I don't want to rely on it. I just want to be strong enough to overcome this."
He held back from being snarky towards her. "Do you think only weak people take potions?" he asked her calmly. "Let's imagine that we were in the muggle world, and you were no longer a witch. People take medicine all the time to help them when they need it. It doesn't make anyone less strong, as you put it. Now, stop being so stubborn."
She sighed, feeling her willpower abate from his analogy. "Did you also take potions then to help you?"
He reluctantly nodded at her question. "I still do. I tried to stop taking them, but the nightmares returned, so for my sanity, I will continue to take them. I don't like the person I am when I don't."
"How many is it?" she asked wearily. She didn't like the idea of having to take potions, but after being strong for so long and still having so much turmoil, she agreed.
"Just one a day should do," he responded. "I will provide you with as many as you need. When you run out, please don't hesitate to ask for them."
After accepting the potions he gave her, she remembered the outing she promised Ginny. With a reluctant sigh, she said, "Severus, Ginny wanted to take me out for a butterbeer today."
"I'm not your keeper," he chided. "If you want to go, go." A playful smile formed on his lips. "Just remember our detention this evening."
Hermione blushed at his words and said, "I wouldn't miss it for anything." Boldly, she leaned forward and kissed him goodbye as she headed out of the room.