February Buffy episode Passion.
'I knew she was going to hate herself for letting him go at the Mall.' Xander thought. 'But did it have to come at a cost like this?' They'd just learned that Ms. Calender was dead. Killed by Angelus and left in a neat gift wrap package in Giles' bed. 'Just as Giles and Ms. Calender were starting to reconnect. And part of me wants to say she should hate herself for all of this because she's the one who chose to get involved with a vampire in the first place and she ignored the potential consequences. But then I don't deserve Cordelia forgiving me the mind rape spell, either. And if anyone had died as a result of that, I'd have even more reason to hate myself. So I can't throw stones here, because I did something idiotic too and I should have known better too.'
"Giles is going after Angel." Buffy said.
"Well, if Giles wants to kill the fiend responsible for his girlfriend's death, I say faster pussycat, faster." Xander said. "It's about time someone did something about him." Xander winched internally. 'Okay, so now I'm being petty, but at least I recognize that fact.'
"Xander!" Willow reprimanded him like he was a child. He rolled his eyes.
"There's just one problem with Giles' revenge fantasy.". Buffy said. "It's going to get him killed."
'Him or Angelus?' Xander thought. 'Because I'm pretty sure Giles can handle himself against a vampire, he's smart, pissed and focused. Who do you really want to save? Do you even know?' But he didn't say anything. Buffy already felt bad, he could tell and he didn't want to add to it.
"Xander." Willow asked, after Buffy left to try to either save or stop Giles. "Why are you being mean to Buffy?" She asked sternly. "She's having a hard enough time without you adding to it!"
"We're all having a hard time, Willow." Xander answered. "We all liked Ms. Calendar. And whether you want to admit it or not, this could have all been avoided."
"How? How could this have been avoided?"
"You know what I'm talking about. If Buffy hadn't gotten involved with Angel, if you hadn't encouraged it and Giles hadn't allowed it, none of this would be happening now."
"She loves him!"
"And that justifies every choice that led to this, right?"
Willow glared at him and then left.
'Way to go.' He thought. 'Now she's pissed at me. I've got to learn not to say 'I told you so,' it just causes more problems.'
March Killed by Death episode.
'Is Cordelia jealous?' Xander thought. 'Standing guard over Buffy while she can't protect herself from Angelus is the right thing to do. Gods, I need to talk to Cordy about this, don't I? She deserves to know it's not because I still have feelings for Buffy, because I don't. It's because she's a friend, she's in danger and she's our best chance of getting though whatever nightmare Angelus wants to unleash on us. And I really don't want Cordy mad at me. She doesn't smile when she's mad.'
And then Angelus did show up. 'If I'm going to die tonight.' Xander thought as he felt his eyes go flat. 'Then I'm taking him with me. Angelus has hurt enough people, I won't let him hurt my friends.'
"You're gonna die and I'm gonna be there." He told Angelus and meant every word. Angelus slapped the flowers he was holding against Xander's chest and said. "Tell her I stopped by." And he left. Xander shakily sat down. 'Why did that work? Why did he just leave? Could I have stopped him? Just because I was willing to die to stop him, doesn't mean I would be able to actually stop him. Nothing about what just happened makes any sense. Angelus wants to beat Buffy, not just kill her. He wants to boast to her that he won before he kills her, so why show up here at all? What does it get him? Especially since he didn't even try to see her. Soldier boy is telling me something else is going on. But what? He likes to play mind games, the Chronicles say so. Does he want Buffy to feel vulnerable? If I tell her he was here and could have killed her while she was so sick she can't get out of bed, it might mess with her mind. So I don't tell her. I let everyone think it was a peaceful night. And I really need to talk to Cordy.' Xander decided.
He got a chance when she returned about an hour later with donuts and tossed them on the bench beside him.
"You don't have anything to worry about." He told her. "I really am just looking out for a friend who can't look out for herself right now. I'd do the same for any of the others, including you. Especially you."
"Really?" She asked without looking at him, but she did sit down on the bench beside him.
"Really." He assured her. "Did you get any jelly donuts?"
"Yes and a cinnamon one for me."
He smiled, that meant she was going to stakeout Buffy's room with him. She must have decided his reason for watching over Buffy wasn't one she had to worry about after all. And then she smiled at him. 'Yes! Score! Cordy smile!' He thought. 'Got to be the best smile ever.'
They spent the rest of the night just talking. And keeping an eye out for any vamps. It's Sunnydale, it's just the smart thing to do.