6 Flying like a bird
''Yes, right there. Aah. You have a golden touch, dear.'' A relaxed Boss sighed. He was laying on a bench looking downwards. He was being massaged by a young-looking woman.
''We here at 'Spa Palace' make sure that you get the most rest imaginable.'' The woman said while massaging Boss's back.
''That is just what I need after a long day of murdering.'' Boss said contently. Suddenly his phone rang. ''Could you please hand over my phone? I would rather not move.'' He asked of the woman. She gave it to him. Boss took the call. ''Yes, oh hi Zimos... You have a problem?... That son of a bitch!... I am getting to you right now. On second thought expect me in 2 hours or so.'' He threw the phone back to his things and turned around. ''Now for making me feel so good how about I repay you.'' Boss said and stroke her cheek.
''Boss, you know I have another client next.'' The girl repelled.
''Let them wait.'' Boss said not giving up.
''Alright, but you better do a good job. And better be worth it to skip out on paying clients.'' The girl said.
''Trust me, baby, it will.'' Boss stated and leant in to kiss her. Half an hour later the Boss put on his clothes.
The girl was smoking a cigar. ''Come by again anytime.''
The girl said and Boss answered. ''I will.'' He opened the door and went out.
Outside he got into his car and drove to the base. He wanted to change clothes and his equipment. At the base he went upstairs. There he met Asha, Kinzie and Matt working at their computers and Pierce playing 'Call of the Battlefield 6'.
''Hey, guys.'' He greeted them. He was ignored. ''That is not the way how you should greet your boss.'' He reminded them. Still now reaction. ''That hurts, you know.'' Boss begged now. They still ignored him. ''Fine.'' He went to a side-room and started changing. 10 minutes later he was back with them. He observed Pierce's gaming closer. ''This is fishy. You are playing way too good.'' Boss stated besides Pierce.
''Wow, Bro. Don't scare me like that. That is just my true skill. I was going easy on you guys before. You being my boss and all.'' Pierce bragged.
''Skill my ass. You used my computer to download some cheats. If Matt wouldn't have restored it, I would have broken both of your arms.'' Asha stated.
''Thanks, Matt by the way.'' Pierce said ignoring Asha.
''If you went to me, I would have restored them quicker.'' Kinzie said.
''In your dreams, Kinzie. You can't compare yourself to the Cyber God.'' Matt responded not looking up from his computer. Boss should have seen that coming. No wonder they were so quiet and ignoring each other. Asha and Pierce never gotten along pretty well. And Kinzie still hold a grudge against Matt. And Matt couldn't forget that she had beaten him once. Before the situation could escalate Viola, Shaundi and Barbara entered.
''Hi, Boss and gang.'' Viola and Shaundi greeted them.
''Omg. You look like shit.'' Pierce commented when he saw them and was trying to distract the Boss from the fact that he used cheats.
''Fuck you, Pierce. The Black Masks set a trap for us. They nearly got us but then Viola took out her bazooka and blasted them to hell. Oh. And this is the new girl Barbara Croft, by the way. She was eager to meet you.'' Shaundi said.
''I wonder why?'' Kinzie commented.
Boss looked at the girl. She didn't look like much and was quiet the whole time.
''It is an honor to meet you, Sir.'' The girl said humble and stretched out her hand.
''Don't be so formal. Just be yourself.'' Boss answered and shook her hand.
''You shouldn't underestimate her. She took the ritual. She is a Senior Saint.'' Asha chipped in.
Boss's chin fell down. ''You?'' He stammered. ''We should celebrate.'' He exclaimed.
''Already did, Boss. You missed it.'' Shaundi responded.
''Aw. Those are my favorite parties. But why don't you join me? Zimos told me of a small problem I should take care of. To get to know you better and all.'' Boss offered.
''A perfect opportunity, right?'' Kinzie commented again.
''What is up with you, Kinzie? Afraid she becomes Boss's new favorite redhead.'' Matt laughed.
''I should have predicted that your explanation of my distrust is the most useless. But it still surprises me how stupid you can be.'' Kinzie answered.
Before Matt could retort Boss stopped the fight. ''I don't know what is wrong with you, today. But you are worse than usually. Just because you are in the same gang it doesn't mean you have to spend every minute together. Go somewhere and do things which calm you down. But don't let out your frustration on your fellow Saints. The Black Masks have become bold enough to openly pick up a fight with us. We should deal with them soon. But right now, I have something else to do. So, Babs, are we good to go?'' Boss turned around to Barbara.
''Yeah, I don't have anything to do anyway.'' Barbara answered. That was a great opportunity to get directly information from the man in charge.
''Great, does anybody know where Johnny is?'' Boss asked his crew.
''Johnny got bored. He took some guys with him and is now probably raiding some other gang's outposts.'' Pierce stated.
''Oh, Johnny you make me happy.'' Boss exclaimed. ''Now let's go, Babs. We are taking my car.'' Boss said and went out. Barbara followed him. Outside they arrived at an elegant sport car without a roof. Boss and Barbara jumped in. Boss started the car and drove.
''I bet you have never seen anybody like Zimos. He is alright but a little weird.'' Boss said.
''Where are we driving?'' Barbara asked. ''Just to our base in the west of our territory. He is in command of our working ladies.'' Boss answered. ''Some stupid asshole is murdering his employees and he asked me to take care of the guy.''
''You want to kill him?'' Barbara exclaimed.
''What do you think we are? Of course, we going to kill him. He massacred three of our girls.'' Boss said without hesitation.
''You can't. That is wrong.'' Barbara started but was interrupted by Boss.
''Hey, I love that song.'' He turned louder the song 'want to kiss a girl' from Katy Pory. Boss started to sing to it. ''I always wanted it.'' Boss sang.
Barbara smiled a little. It was absurd this man was driving to kill a man but sang on the way there. Barbara couldn't resist anymore and started to sing, too. ''That's the spirit, girl.'' Boss said delighted. He turned on the full volume and he and Barbara were singing with full voice to it while driving through the streets of Gotham. Barbara had to admit she started to like the Boss and it was fun. After the song they sang three more until they finally arrived.
''Man, that was fun. You are one hell of a singer. You probably could compete with Pierce. We have to do that more often. I am looking forward to you, me and Pierce singing together.'' Boss said in a good mood.
''I agree. That was fun.'' Barbara smiled.
Although he was her superior his aura was much different from other people in command she knew. Her father was clam and had an aura of wisdom and experience surrounding him while Batman was all bossy and rude. The Boss on the other hand made her feel relaxed and spending time with him was fun. It was like hanging out with her friends instead of a superior. They entered a building. They went up some stairs and entered a room. They could see a black man smoking a pipe laying on top of a mountain of girls.
''Oh, right. It is that time of year.'' Boss said. The man took a microphone and place it on his throat. His voice became distorted and amusingly musical.
''I can't help it. I always get so horny this time of year. Post-traumatic after-effect or shit.'' Zimos said in his funny voice.
''Barbara that is Zimos. Zimos Barbara.'' Boss introduced.
''Cute lady you got there, Boss. Do you enjoy the life with the Saints?'' Zimos asked.
''Yes, I do.'' Barbara answered honestly.
''Not the talkative one. Better for the job.'' Zimos commented.
''I already told you, but some killer is hunting my girls. He killed the first girl a month ago. I didn't do anything at first. Gotham is full of crazy bitches and they should be handled with respect. If a crazy guy kills one of my girls, I normally send somebody to deal with him. But this guy is a crazy guy even for a crazy guy. So, I didn't want to pursue the matter any further. If I can prevent one of those crazies going amok in one of my shops, one girl every now and then is bearable. It is an occupational hazard. But that guy is pushing his limits. He already killed three more girls of mine this week. The morale of my cute employees is dropping. They are scared to go on the streets. Our income is decreasing. So, I thought you should teach that son of a bitch not to mess with the Saints.'' Zimos explained.
''Where can I find him?'' Boss asked his face darkening.
''When I said he was a real nutcase I meant it. He is a regular inmate in Arkham Asylum. His name is Victor Zsas. I could find out that he lives just a few blocks away in this building.'' Zimos gave Boss a picture. ''Malanda-Street 23. He lives in the apartment 208. Boss, he is a loon through and through. For every victim he carves a scar into his body. Do the world a favor and rid it of his existence.'' Zimos concluded.
''You don't have to tell me. He isn't killing any Saints ever again.''
''I would enjoy your company, but the girls are waking up and you have some murdering to do.'' Zimos stated.
Barbara and Boss understood and returned to the car. They drove to the address Zimos named. ''Why are you doing this?'' Barbara asked.
''Again with the ethics.'' Boss sighed.
''No, you misunderstood. You are the Boss. Why should you do the work of some minion. To kill Zsas it wasn't necessary to send you. Some small fry would have been sufficient.'' Barbara explained herself.
''Now, I understand. It just would be boring, if I would just sit on my butt all day letting others doing my job. How could you expect of me to miss out all this murder?'' Boss joked.
Barbara started to understand him. Behind all the playful exterior in the depths of this man lurked a psychopathically killer. They arrived at the address. They exited the car and entered the building. After they went upstairs, they were standing in front of the door with the number 208.
''Let's do this.'' Boss said and wanted to press the bell but was stopped by Barbara.
''You don't have to do this. Just call the police and they will handle it.'' Barbara pled.
''What are you? A living conscience? You make me even feel about killing. But now I have a job to do.'' Boss pressed the bell.
A hissing voice spoke up behind the door. ''Who is there?''
''Your doom.'' Boss stated. Barbara just shook her head.
''Oh yeah? Take this!'' Boss quickly got out of the way of the door and pushed Barbara aside. Seconds later the door was pierced through by a pump gun shot.
''You never get me!'' Zsas screamed and shot three more times. Boss just grabbed behind his back and took out a grenade. He pulled off the ring and said to Barbara.
''Always count to three before you throw it.'' As if to teach her how to use a grenade. He threw it inside and moments later an explosion and a scream could be heard. Boss entered the flat with his gun up. He arrived at the Livingroom and saw Zsas cowering in one corner of the room. He was bleeding heavily, and his right arm was crippled.
''You are one tough bastard but now is the end of the row for you.'' Boss put up his gun to kill him but Barbara stopped him once more.
''Stop. He is injured. Please, just hand him over to the police. In his state he probably won't ever recover enough to harm anybody again.'' Barbara said. Without an answer Boss just shot.
''Probably isn't good enough.'' Boss stated coldly.
Barbara averted her face. ''Now to make that public.'' Boss said and took out his phone. He made a selfie and started to tap into his cellphone.
''Is that really necessary?'' Barbara asked disgusted.
''Hey, I just killed somebody, who is like a celebrity in this city. I think the world should know what happens when you fuck with the Saints.'' Boss answered putting his phone away.
He made his way to exit the building again. Barbara tried to scold the Boss. ''He wasn't a threat anymore. Killing him was unjustified. He couldn't even defend himself.''
Boss started to become annoyed. ''What the hell were you thinking, we were doing in our gang? If somebody tries to mess with us, we kill them. It is that easy. Now stop your melodramatics and let me just enjoy my work.'' Boss said and exited the building.
Suddenly somebody screamed. ''Hands up! You are surrounded Saints! Give up now and surrender peacefully!'' The building was surrounded by police cars and men.
''Just great. How can that shitty day get even worse?'' Boss asked and dropped his gun raising his hands above his head. Some policemen approached to put them in handcuffs. ''I want my phone call.'' Boss started to scream. ''I won't tell you anything. I want my lawyer.'' He joked around by citing every cliché quote of a criminal taken prisoner by the police.
Barbara wanted to explain herself to the police. After all she was the commissioner's daughter. ''That is a misunderstanding. I want to talk-'' A bag was pulled over her head.
''Hey, is that standard police procedure?'' Boss asked when he saw that. Then his view was darkened by a bag as well. They both were thrown into a van and the policemen drove away. ''Where are they taking us?'' Barbara asked a little shaken.
''Don't worry we will get out of here.'' Boss reassured. Boss and Barbara could hear how they were loaded on something and shortly after they could the turbines of a plane. They were in air now. It felt like an eternity later but in reality only was an hour, Boss and Barbara were seated on chairs and their bags were removed.
Barbara and Boss were sitting in a room in front of a big table, sitting behind it was Black Mask.
''You are probably wondering where you are?'' Black Mask spoke.
''I think I am not in Kansas anymore.'' Boss answered.
''Very funny.'' Black Mask smiled.
''I admire your competency. You led a small unimportant gang to be one of Gotham' strongest forces. It would be a shame to let your talents go to waste. So, I will suggest a deal. We will together destroy the other gangs and then split Gotham among us. You have the man power, I have the resources. We would be unstoppable. What do you say?'' Black Mask proposed.
''How much will we get?'' Boss asked.
''20-80.'' Black Mask answered.
Boss sneered. ''I am right to assume that I get the 80.''
Black Mask laughed. ''A comedian to the bitter end. Of course, you will get 20.''
''Fuck you!'' Boss spat out.
''Don't be hasty now. I offer you an opportunity here. It is either my offer or death? What do you choose?'' Black Mask asked.
Barbara was tensed. With her equipment of her Batsuit she would have freed herself a long time ago but now she was forced to just watch.
''Before I answer I just want to say one thing. My countless hours of bondage in the bedroom finally paid off.'' Boss shook his now free hands at a surprised Black Mask.
Boss who had freed himself delivered a heavy blow on Black Mask's face who has come closer to the Saint to underline his point. Black Mask stumbled over his own desk when he stepped back. A bodyguard of him took out his gun and tried to shoot the Boss, but he was disarmed and his head made an unpleasant acquaintance with a plane window. Boss shot also the two other guys and then freed Barbara.
''We have to get out of here.'' Boss said. Through the hole in the plane it was losing pressure.
''How?'' Barbara asked rubbing her ankles.
''We go to the back find a parachute and jump out of this thing.'' Boss explained. Boss tried to shoot also Black Mask, but he hid behind his desk.
Fighting through the plane they finally reached the back. Barbara opened the loading bay. Boss had the parachutes. Before he could give Barbara one the plane trembled causing Barbara to lose footing and fall of the plane.
''God dammit!'' Boss said and jumped after her. He was avoiding the rest of the cargo which also fell out. ''The fuck you come from?'' Boss exclaimed. In midair he was still assaulted by Black Mask's men. ''Really?'' Boss exclaimed and started shooting them. After he got rid of all of them, he pursued Barbara. When he reached her, he grabbed her bridal style and pulled the parachute.
''I am not gonna lie I didn't think you would make it in time.'' Barbara said out of breath.
''Are you kidding me I never let my girl fa- wait what is that?'' Boss said.
''What is what?'' Barbara wanted to know.
''That plane is -ok, don't freak out or anything- but I think that plane is gonna try to ram us.'' Boss said already a plan in his mind.
''What do you mean don't freak out? Do you have a plan?'' Barbara asked.
''Yeah, I shoot out the window, land in the plane, kill Black Mask and then jump out the back again.'' Boss explained.
''You mean we, right?'' Barbara asked unsure.
''Look just remember how happy you were when I caught you.'' Boss exclaimed and let her fall again.
''Wait, what? Asshoooole.'' Barbara cried out before she was falling again.
''Shoot out the window and land in the plane. What the fuck was I thinking?'' Boss mumbled to himself. He did what he had planned. He shot the window, fell through the plane, grabbed a man with a parachute, took it off of him and put it on himself. Now he was again trying to reach Barbara again. While avoiding all the rubles he shouted out.
''How much shit was in that plane?'' He was amazed by the amount the plane apparently had on board. When he reached Barbara, he grabbed her and while pulling the parachute he screamed. ''Gotcha.''
Barbara shouted pissed off. ''You are fucking asshole.'' Boss winced a little.
''Ok, I deserved that.'' Boss admitted. After a while he landed safely in a suburb of Gotham. He tossed the parachute in a trashcan.
''Although you dropped me again, you didn't let me fall in the end and saved me. Thanks.'' Barbara said who had calmed down.
''No problem. I would have done that for every of my Saints.'' Boss answered honestly. ''Now just let me call Kinzie.'' He took out his phone and called Kinzie. ''Hello, Kinzie. We need a ride.''
Hello, here is Jane Valderamma with the latest news of Gotham Streets. The second criminal which could be categorized as a 'Supervillain' was killed by the Leader of the Saints. Just recently a picture showed up at the 'Visagebook' page of this self-called 'puckish rogue'. Showing the corpse of a deformed Victor Zsasz. He was a psychopathic killer who killed over 72 people in cold blood. He scarred himself for every victim he slaughtered. Despite numerous arrests and admissions to Arkham Asylum he stroked terror into people's heart until today. The police had confirmed it. Victor Zsasz is dead. With one bullet the Leader of the Saints assured what neither the police nor the mighty Batman ever could, that the people of Gotham are safe from this murderous lunatic. Many people are starting to doubt. Maybe the Saints aren't just criminals. They are freeing a city which is overrun by so called 'Supervillains'. They are losing their trust in the capabilities of the police. Today Gotham is celebrating the Saints as liberator and protector of Gotham. The approval for the Saints is rising in Gotham City. Maybe with the Saints fighting our war, Gotham can look out for another future. If this future will be good or bad only time will tell. Also today's other hot topic, some people were crushed by heavy fallout. Cars and other heavy objects fell out of the skies. Five people lost their lives because of this strange rain. It is unknown how that could happen. We don't know out of which plane all those things fell. The police are currently investigating the matter. If the Saints are involved in that accident is unknown. I am Jane Valderamma from Channel 6 News.''
Note from the author
I usually don't do that, but the sequences with the plane is word for word cited. I think the plane sequence in Saints Row 3 is one of the best openings in gaming ever in my opinion. So, I simply had to copy it. But I won't make a habit out of this. This will be the only instance I cited word for word.