Chapter 6
Pirates Haunted Mansion
"Excuse me~!" Luffy knocked on the door to mansion, "We're coming in!"
"Hold on, give 'em a minute," said Franky. It was only polite to see who'd answer.
"Hey! Will you hurry it up!" Maxwell wasn't sure if Sanji was yelling at the door, or at Luffy.
The mansion was more like the front to a palace, Maxwell realized. It was deceptive, hidden in the fog. You wouldn't realize it until you actually approached the front gate. The entire mansion was made of lime and cement, with black shingles. However, the white exterior had turned grey with all dust and grime. The Straw-Hats were standing inside a tunnel, underneath a gothic spire with a circular stain-glass spotlight above. Given the nature of their location, the castle was near genius if you wanted to unnerve your guests.
Luffy however, wasn't intimidated. He just knocked with the ring handle on the door. Unfortunately, Luffy was also an idiot, and realized that there were too doors. "Hm? The lock on the door… It's wide open!"
"That goes without saying, idiot…" Zoro deadpanned at the rubber-man. There was a giant hole in the other door, where the handle should have been. So there was no one was likely going to greet them… At least civilly.
So they decided to enter the foyer.
"Such a big mansion…" Franky had his arms crossed looking at the decor. The place was spacious enough. Same stone walls. An unusual amount of curtains. Fireplace, paintings, a candle chandelier. There was even a snowbear rug over the carpet. "Yet there isn't a single servant?"
"I'm more concerned about the lack of guards," said Maxwell. He was already spying the two staircases at the back of the room.
"It looks like the place just had a fight," Sanji observed. There was a broken long table on the floor, and the chairs were knocked over. A cross of sabers underneath the hog's head taxidermy was missing a blade, and there was a thin layer of soot on the walls. The kitchen seemed fine, but Sanji wasn't concerned about that, "I hope they didn't hurt Nami."
"Hey! Is anybody here!?" Luffy tried yelling, projecting his voice, "Gecko Moria~!"
"Buhihihihi…!" The hog mount was laughing, "You are quite courage to enter this place, if you know the name of the master."
Luffy blinked, "A pig growing out of the wall?"
"THEN LET US WELCOME OUR GUESTS!" Multiple voices reverberated throughout the room. Then the paints started coming to life. They rose out of their frames like demented spirits. Their picturesque figures, connected like stretched clay. Some were big. Some held weapons. Even the snowbear carpet rose from the ground.
"Hey, hey, are those zombies too?" Sanji tilted his head. They all had the same surgery scars as the creatures outside.
Robin looked nonplussed at the gathering, "I imagine we'll find all sorts of creatures on this island." They've already seen dryads, unicorns, manticores, and zombies. Why not haunted paintings?
"SO COOL!" Luffy looked at them with starry eyes.
"Luffy…!" Maxwell desperately wanted to tell him that these things were attacking them, but he just sighed and readied his staff.
Sanji already began to attack, "Where did you… HIDE NAMI!?" He kicked one zombie in the face, right back into it's painting.
Robin spoke to the lady zombie that was coming right towards her, "It's unladylike to open your mouth so wide, even if you are quite pretty."
"Huh? Really?" The zombie stopped charging, though whether that was because of the blush or the multiple arms growing out of her, no one had any idea.
"However you already of spoiled it by coming out of the picture frame," Robin smiled. "Twist!"
The multiple arms Robin made wrung the zombie into a coil. You could here the multiple breaks along the lady's spine.
One zombie tried to stab Franky. "Huh!? The spear was broken! What's with his body!? Is it made out of steel!?"
Franky just grabbed the zombie by the neck, and grabbed another one that came too close. "Waitwaitwait, stop! What's with you guys!? Are you those weaklings' nakama…?"
Franky responds with a solemn, "Yes," before bashing the two heads together.
"Nitoryuu." Zoro settled into another swords stance, "Nigiri, Hirameki!" He slashed an oncoming zombie with two of his katanas. Maxwell couldn't quite tell where he struck.
Luffy was having fun though. "Shishishishi! This island is really interesting!" He was dodging the snowbear's paws as it tried to smack him.
"You little brat…!"
Luffy grinned, "Sorry we had to intrude, we could have been such good friends…!" He stretched back his arms, "Gomu-Gomu no…! BAZOOKA!" Then he hit the bear right in the face, with the palms of his hands. The head of the bear rug had been embedded straight into the wall.
"Ru-rug bear…!" The hog's head said nervously.
"Alright, we took care of them!" Luffy readjusted his hat.
"Not quite…" said Maxwell. He had been the only one to deal with a zombie so far. So, Maxwell shot a Stonefist stone at the base of the hog head's mount, making it fall off the wall.
"WAAAHHH!" The hog yelled as it fell on it's face. Turns out the taxidermy hog was an actual pig in a fancy pillory. The pig rubbed his head as it righted itself, but it quickly froze in terror as the mage stood over him.
"Now… Where are Usopp, Nami, and Chopper!?"
"AH! Ah… Ahh…!" The pig quickly backed up as the rest of the crew surrounded him, "Ah! That trio! They're fast asleep in the guest rooms upstairs! They're good! They're safe!"
"Impossible!" Franky snorted like a bull. It was such an oblivious lie!
"It's the truth!" the hog protested. "Buhi! You can go and check! Just up those stairs inside…! Buhihihi…"
"Hm? Hey wait a minute…" Franky thought it weird on why the pig was laughing. However, "That curly brow cook is gone."
"What!?" Maxwell looked around. The zombies were all on the ground. Zoro, Franky, Luffy, and Robin where all standing around him, but Sanji was missing!
"Huh? He was with us just a little while ago… Where did he go?" Luffy wondered.
"Sanji! You in the kitchen!?" Maxwell tried calling out to the kitchen. He stepped over the zombies to try and look inside, but Sanji wasn't in there. Maxwell could hear the zombies trying to contain their laughter. There was no way he could have been defeated by these things!
Zoro eyed the shaking zombies, "…They've been planning something. Something for a while…" Then he shrugged, "We've lost a dear man."
"Hey…!" Franky and Maxwell didn't appreciate the sarcasm. Zoro may not have liked the man, but that didn't mean he had to write Sanji off!
Luffy had his hands on his hips, "Well, he's right. Sanji will be okay!"
"Luffy, this is serious," Maxwell scolded his captain. They were in an unknown area! Deep within enemy territory. And something or someone just kidnapped part of their crew right beneath their noses!
"My concern is this zombie mansion." Robin looked up at the tunnel the pig had pointed out. "It might be that we're racing against time with rescuing Nami, Chopper, and Usopp."
"Buhihihi…" the pig laughed again, "Don't get so cocky just because you're a little strong… When you're nakama start disappearing, you'll probably get scared! You'll get what you deserve!"
Maxwell looked at the pig while stroking his beard, "Hm… Then perhaps you can tell us all about this castle."
"Buhihihi! You fool! I AM BUHICHUCK! One of the noble servants of—Woah! HEY, HEY!" The pig suddenly found itself floating in the air, held aloft by his suddenly glowing pillory. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
"Barbecue."
Lasting Flames then sprung up below the floating pig. The fallen zombies flinched as they saw the sudden bonfire.
"WAIT! NONONONONO! STOP!"
"Then tell us everything you know."
"Oh! Max, you cooking dinner?" Luffy looked over at his first-mate.
Maxwell looked back at Luffy, then shrugged, "…Well, you were wondering if Cerberus tasted any good. Why not undead pig?"
"WHAT!?" Buhichuck suddenly became a bit more scared.
Robin decided to ignore the mage's torture interrogation, "Anyway, we can only continue with our intuition. I don't think those things will tell us the truth even if we threaten them…"
"Hm…" Zoro looked at the hog flailing in the air.
"STOP! STOP! I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK! PLEASE! DON'T EAT ME! I DON'T WANT TO BE COME BARBECUE!"
"…Maybe we can take the pig as a guide?"
One of the zombies nervously began to laugh, "Heh… Hehe…"
"Go. Go! It'll be good for you to learn the dreadfulness of our master." "…Our real boss is one of the Seven Warlords, Gecko Mori… Oh I can't even say it! My body's shivering all over!" "HOOO, just by putting that word in my mouth, it feels like my body is freezing…!"
"It won't end safely for your nakama," the zombie with the crown spoke. "…One, after another, you will lose your nakama… You shall regret it…! The fear that you can't save anyone in front of one of the Warlords. Gecko… No—The Master's real power—!"
Luffy just sighed, looking back at the painting zombies, "Jeez, you're all so noisy when you're mumbling."
"Huh?" The zombies were surprised that they weren't intimidating these pirates at all.
"Go tell that moron Moria, that if anything happens to one of my crew, I'll send you and this island flying!"
The zombies all froze up at Luffy's words. This pirate captain was serious, and it sent shivers down their spines.
Luffy then started poking his nose. "Even if we leave Sanji for the time being, he won't die." He trusted his nakama. They were all strong, even if they didn't know it. "Max, stop roasting the pig and let's go."
Maxwell looked back at his captain again, "…Fine," then dispelled the fire below Buhichuck. The pig sighed in relief. "—But you, are leading us to where our friends are being held! Got it?"
Buhichuck's one eye widened, "U-Understood…!" Then he was plucked out of the air by Franky.
Leaving the zombies behind, the crew started to go up the stairs above the fireplace. It was where Buhichuck had indicated before, so they may yet still find their friends. Maxwell took the lead with Franky beside him. The cyborg held the pig out to direct them, while Maxwell had his staff lit up like a torch to navigate the mansion.
Maxwell had to give Moria credit. This place really was decorated like a noble's mansion. Portraits of various people painted in frames. Little marble statues on tables depicting various naked women. Porcelain vases over cloth dressers, with admittedly dead flowers. And other pieces of huntsman taxidermy. They were littered all over the walls as they walked through the corridor.
There was an occasional door on either side, leading into rooms the crew had no interest in. A line of chandeliers hung from the ceiling, but none of them were lit. So, they only source of light they had was Maxwell's staff.
Franky started talking as they explored the mansion, "That zombie wannabe warned us that Gecko Moria's already had an eye on us ever since we came to this island. Perhaps curly cook's disappearance has something to do with Moria?" Spoil hadn't followed them into the mansion. He was too scared to see Moria again.
"Well, no shit." Maxwell answered, "This entire island is Moria's ship! And he has an invisible man in his employ. It would make sense they would know everything about this place..."
Zoro just scoffs, "Stupid cook! He had it coming... Though I never expected us to run into one of the Seven Warlords here."
"Why would a pirate even want to steal people's shadows?" Franky wondered. They didn't have a fiscal value that they were aware of.
"I would love to know!" Robin looked at the pig expectantly.
"I-I don't know anything!" the hog responded.
"Hm…" Luffy walked with his hands behind his head, "I promised that geezer I'd kick Moria's butt, but I guess that'll have to be put on hold." They still had to find the others first.
"Buhihi! Your missing friends are already screwed anyway!" the pig laughed. "In fact, you're in no position to be worrying about others! Not anymore… Buhihihihi—!"
Luffy had smooshed in the pig's head. "Quit oinking and lead the way, you stupid piggy!" Buhichuck merely oinked in response.
"Hm?" Franky stopped walking, which prompted the rest of them to stop. Zoro was looking back down the hall they had been walking. "What's wrong?"
Zoro was silent for a moment, "…Nothing. It must have been my imagination."
Maxwell frowned. He wasn't sure if he wanted to ignore Zoro's sudden case of paranoia. Oh, he knew those zombies had been screwing with them in the foyer. But to Maxwell, those ominous threats were a lot more credible. If Moria put this much effort into creating such an effective haunted dwelling, then there was no telling what was going to happen here. They wouldn't know what they would be walking into, other than it would be a trap.
…Regardless, they had to keep walking. They needed to find Nami, Usopp, and Chopper first. Then they could focus on Sanji. Unfortunately, while the comment was still inappropriate, Luffy wasn't wrong when he said Sanji could handle himself.
The crew took two corners throughout the hallways. The mansion was just as dark and foreboding as always. However, it wasn't until the crew had come to a corridor, lined with suits of armor, that something went wrong.
Zoro was missing.
"WHAT!?" Luffy called for his resident swordsman, "HEY! ZORO~!"
Normally, this wasn't cause for concern. Zoro had a horrible sense of direction and could get lost easily. He might have even walked away from the group. However, Zoro's earlier suspicions may have had more merit than they thought.
"Buhihihi…!"
"Hey!" Luffy planted his fist against the hog's head again, "You did something again, didn't you!? Spit it out!"
The hog tried to hold out its hooves in surrender, "I told you from the start, I don't know anything! Buhihihi!"
"Then why are you laughing?" Franky deadpanned at the pig he was holding, "You're being shameless with how obvious you are…!"
"That's curious…" Robin put a hand to her cheek, thinking, "They weren't even any voices… Maybe they were strangled to death?"
Maxwell gave her a deadpan stare while Franky was getting weirded out, "Why are your circuits always wired so ominously!?" Robin certainly had a dark sense of humour.
"This is weird…!" Luffy tried looking around. "Zoro's disappeared too!"
"Look around! Maybe their's a hidden corridor," Maxwell suggested. The mage started looking around the suits of armor, tracing his fingers on every surface he could reach. He moved limbs on the suits of armor, felt for crevasses in the walls between the bricks, searched for buttons on the pedestals. Nothing!
"Where did they disappear to… Where on earth are they…!?"
Maxwell growled in frustration, "Dammit… Grr…! I guess we'll have to—" He then suddenly realized he was looking at Luffy. "—What are you wearing?"
Luffy was in a full suit of armor, with scale mail shorts, and a crested helmet. One of the suits along the wall was missing. And he immediately knew it was Luffy when their captain lifted up the visor, "Damn it Zoro. Sanji."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT A TIME LIKE THIS!" Franky smacked him upside the head.
"Hey!" Luffy protested. "There's like a ton of armor standing around here, and it's a man's romance just to wear one! I mean, just look at Max!" Maxwell blinked. What was Luffy talking about? Yes, he wore a chainmail coif, gambeson, gauntlets, vambraces, couters, polens, and a pauldron. But he wouldn't call it a full suit of armor. "You, meanwhile, have a body of steel, after becoming a cyborg! Did you lose your heart with all your modifications?"
Frankly flinched back, "Romance!? …Well, maybe… Please forgive me! I didn't mean to change my heart into a Heart of Steel, too!"
The cyborg suddenly brought out a guitar and played a few strings, "—The melody that blows through my heart when I lose something important… Please listen, 'The Cyborg Steel Mode.'"
"Alright! Sing! Sing!" Luffy clapped his hands while cheering.
Maxwell looked on incredulous while the pig just sighed. "Where did that guitar come from!?" "Don't they understand the situation they're in?"
Maxwell then blinked, the wizard and the pig looking at each other. He remembered that the pig had been their unwilling guide, while Franky held him aloft. Buhichuck then realized he was free.
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Maxwell tackled the pig before it could try to run. His arms were wrapped around the hog's belly, but it didn't slow him down. Buhichuck dragged him along the carpet as the zombie ran.
"HAHAHAH! SO LONG SUCKERS! I'LL SEE YOU ALL ON THE OTHER SIDE, YOU—MMPM MRPH!" Arms sudden sprouted out of the pig, covering the hog's mouth. Meanwhile, another pair of arms sprouted out of the floor and lifted the pig into the air, stopping it in it's tracks.
"…Thanks Robin." Maxwell let go of the pig and lightly fell to the floor.
Robin looked back at him, "No problem… Though it appears we're at the end of the hall."
Maxwell dusted himself off and looked at where Robin was standing.
"Hall?" Luffy asked. He and Franky had caught up with them, Luffy's armor clanking all over, "You think Usopp and the others are here?"
"I don't know…" The pig seemed to had lead them to some sort of entertainment hall. A spacious room filled with tents, flags, and high-rise boxes. The tents were cone shaped, capped with gothic spires as the cloth flowed out beneath. Mounted flags edged the walls, flying banners of unknown houses. The watch boxes stood on poles, arching over the exit to the outside and likely towards the mast.
"What is all this?" Everything was tattered. Holes and tears could every piece of fabric in this room.
However, at the centre of this, was a central dias surrounded by a small fence. "It's like we're in an arena…!"
"Not an area…" said Maxwell. "A tourney…!"
"Buhihihi, it's not that simple," Buhichuck oinked.
Maxwell spun around. When had the pig come free!? However, before he could go after the pig, Maxwell spotted a glint up in the ceiling. "FRANKY! WATCH OUT!"
Franky looked up to see a claymore coming down, right above him. "WHOA!" Thankfully, he jumped out of the way before he could be skewered, but there was a definite chime between stone and metal.
"FRANKY!" Luffy called out in concern. Then he realized there was someone at the end of that sword, "Who is that!?"
It was a knight. Dressed in full armor and a cape hanging off its back. The cape was ragged though. Two spikes stuck out of the cuirass and the armor looked rusted in places. Still it stood up taking it's giant claymore in one hand, and a shield at the ready.
"WOOOO! IT'S MOVING ARMOR! SO COOL!"
"It's definitely a zombie," Robin observed. "He's moving even though his body is pierced with spears…"
Franky grit his teeth, "That zombie has some nice armor…! But don't think you'll get the drop on me again!"
The knight zombie then sprung forward, slashing at Franky again with its giant claymore. It swung that sword in one hand, while holding onto it's shield. Franky however, blocked it, using the cybernetics in his forearm to expand into a shield.
Having his opening, Franky punched a countered strike with a, "STRONG RIGHT!" right into the stomach. But where most enemies would go flying, this one didn't. "Ha!?" The knight instead skidded a few feet, digging in it's soles.
The warrior attacked again. It swung around that claymore with a flurry of strikes, as if it were some smaller blade. Franky had to constantly adjust in order to dodge it. Backing up, leaning left, leaning right, centre. One technique was able send a wind scythe, in to form of a cross, crashing into the wall.
"The wall was—!" Franky realized he had been drawn to a corner, "His sword skills are good…!" It was clear this zombie was on a whole other level, so Franky unlatched his wrist. He was aiming his arm-cannon. "WEAPONS LEFT!"
Direct hit. The cannonball exploded right in the knight's face, making it fall backward!
…However, the zombie was starting to stand back up. It jerkily rose as its body shook and visor smoked.
The knight was suddenly in front of Franky, using both hands on its claymore. Franky just barely got the shield back up in time. But the zombie was more skilled than it let on. After hitting the shield, the zombies claymore weaved over the arm into a strike at Franky's abdomen.
"WAH! FRANKY IS—!" However, before Luffy could announce Franky's defeat, the cyborg spun around and gripped the knight's helm in one hand.
"…I won't be beaten… BY SOME DUMB CORPSE!"
Franky threw the zombie like a baseball, throwing it right into arena dias! Wood shattered and buckled as the knight crashed into it.
…However, there was still the telltale sound of rustling armor. The others joined Franky where he had thrown the zombie, "He's still standing…!" Luffy could still see the knight getting up.
"This still isn't settled…!" Franky held the wound that zombie had inflicted on him, "He's totally different from the zombies we've faced so far."
"Franky, let me look at that wound…!" Maxwell could see a definite gash, but he could still see the steel beneath his belly.
"BUHIHIHIHIHI! YOU SHOULD HAVE REALIZED IT BY NOW! THAT'S THE TERROR OF A REAL ZOMBIE, EVEN IF HE HAS HIS FAULTS!"
They all spun around, "Ack! He's so far away." Buhichuck was a few meters down the hall where they had come from.
"HE DOESN'T FEEL PAIN AT ALL! THESE ARMORED ZOMBIE GENERALS ARE FIRM WARRIORS WHO EACH MADE A NAME FOR THEMSELVES WHILE THEY WERE STILL ALIVE!" The pig became more zealous as Buhichuck spoke. "THE LEADERS OF KNIGHTS FROM SOME KINGDOM, A BRUTAL CRIMINAL, A LEGENDARY SAMURAI! PIRATE! MARTIAL ARTIST! THINK OF ALL THOSE GUYS BECOMING IMMORTAL! THERE IS NO WAY FOR YOU TO WIN! BUHIHIHI! NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE SAFE! WE TOLD YOU YOU'D REGRET IT!"
"You bastard…!" Luffy started running towards the pig, but Buhichuck just turned and laughed.
"WALL ZOMBIE!" "ON IT!"
Luffy skidded to a halt as the corridor suddenly shut from above. "The hallway was sealed!" An entire block with a stitched on face blocked the corridor, closing the exit.
Then there was the chorus of multiple marching feet…
"It's not just the way behind us that was sealed."
They were coming out of the tents…! "WHOA! THEY'RE COVERED IN ARMOR!"
A hoard of armed and armored zombie stood in the room. Some looked human, carrying maces, swords, and axes. Some looked completely armored from head to toe. Others looked monstrous. Hybrids between man and animal. But they all carried some sort of armament.
"…Based on my experience, I say these guys are definitely more than we bargained for," said Franky. They certainly weren't like the zombies back in the graveyard. "If we face them all, we'll only exhaust ourselves. We won't be able to take them all on!"
Luffy nodded, looking at the zombies, "I see. These guys are the preliminaries. Oh well, it's not like this is the final match."
"…I DIDN'T MEAN THIS WAS A LITERAL TOURNEY, LUFFY!" Maxwell yelled at his captain. This was the trap he had been dreading. And these zombies looked like they had greater wills and strength to spare.
"If we escape this hall, we should be able to reach the courtyard," said Robin. There didn't appear to be any gate on the other side.
The mage quickly observed their obstacles, "I'll make sure to give us a head start…"
"Alright!" Luffy started to crack his armoured knuckles, "The four of us will meet at the courtyard. I don't want anyone else to go missing, so be careful!"
"Got it!" the crew replied.
Then zombies started to charge.
"GET THEM!"