Chapter six: Graduation

She was nervous on graduation day; it was finally time to see if it all paid off because the moment she finds that she isn't on team seven is the moment she knows that everything will crumple around her. Maybe she can keep in contact with them; maybe she can manage to change something.

She wanted to change something big, a mark of her improvement, something that tells her she can change things and be someone not in the shadows but in the daylight. She does not have to stay in the night; she can bask in the sun's glory, run from the rising moon, and doesn't have to see dawn break as the sun rises and the moon goes down. She no longer does.

She rested her hand against the desk and waited; they'd be called up one by one in Japanese alphabetical order, which apparently existed. They were called by their surnames, which meant she wasn't too far down. The alphabet went like this: a, i, u, e, o, ka, ki, ku, ke, ko, and since her surname is Kazama, well, she got called up, and so she went into the examination room. She demonstrated her capability with Ninjutsu, and then she was given a headband, just like she was supposed to. Now she just needed to know who the tops were.

Everyone knew that Sasuke would be rookie of the year; it was practically impossible for him not to be. Sasuke wasn't a prodigy like Itachi, but he was certainly smart and quick to pick things up. He was quiet and answered questions, a good, perfect student to have, and he didn't even have to give up his social life for it. Sure, it was only Hoshiko and Naruto, but that was better than canon.

Something that Hoshiko was immensely glad about; she knew the struggles of loneliness, how the further you sunk in, the harder it is to get out; that's just how it was, how many things were, and how it is here.

It was sad, maybe, but it's possible; you just need someone determined enough. Hoshiko's hand snakes up to her hair, adjusting the headband while bumping into the little Sun clip. It was a reminder; their ghosts cling onto her, and they forever would. She's given up on just forgetting about them; she had given up the day she got her eyeliner; she could never forget them.

It hurt to know there wasn't a place she could truly grieve for her lost ones; it hurt like nothing's ever hurt before. She hasn't dealt with loss like this; she hasn't had anyone else around her; she hasn't—no, Hoshiko is strong; she can still deal with anything coming her way, even if they are gone.

Hoshiko cannot help but reach for her eyes, covering them with her palms. She was very careful not to smudge her makeup; it was only under the eyes. She always put them there just like that, and in the days they would smudge, she'd simply let it be. She misses the permanent stuff she had found in her previous life; maybe she could also find waterproof ones here. It would be helpful at the very least.

She cannot keep the small smile off her face as she watches those around her come and go with or without their hitai–ate. She doesn't quite like how hers fit on her head; she's never liked headbands; they were always uncomfortable and liable to fall and cover her eyes. She debates on where to put it but can't think of anything, so she looks around at the other students and where they decided for it to go, but she isn't sure yet. She catalogs every place she could possibly put them and weighs the lethality if it fell.

Head? Could fall over the eyes. Arm? Could fall on a kunai and just be a general nuisance. Neck? Could be grabbed. "Then again..." she touched her hair longer than the pixie cut she preferred before. "So could the hair." She shook her head; it wouldn't strangle her, but it would hurt; maybe she should cut it again. She'll have to think about it.

She could maybe do the waist if the band was long enough; a closer look revealed nothing, so she waited until the class was over, and she could go home. And go home she did. Her parents and brother had been there, and she smiled as they all celebrated together. She had passed the academy just like her brother, and he'd offered to help her.

She hadn't actually thought of that; Rikuto was always out, never in the house when training, and she'd just not... she hadn't really equated Brother with Shinobi techniques. "Huh, he is really good at keeping work separate from family... a bit too good, maybe..." She shook her head now; it was the time for celebrations, and she couldn't let herself think too much. She knew how her mind worked and how she'd spiral.

Hoshiko looked behind her and found Naruto on the swing without a hitai–ate. Her memories are long corrupted, so far away in her mind, but she knows that he graduated. So had she changed something? "Did our friendship stop him from training maybe? No—nonononono– it couldn't have been; it's probably something else." It had to be something else; she doesn't know how she'd pull herself from this on if it wasn't.

For the main character not to pass, then—then the whole plot would be ruined; anything and everything she would and could plan for went up in ashes just like that. It—It dampened her mood quite a bit.

When she got home, she ran towards her room and flipped a floorboard open to find notebooks with loose papers and sticky notes stick to them inside and outside.

She flipped them open and searched through the various tags and finally found the exam. She read through it and breathed in so much relief her plans hadn't been ruined, not yet.

He wasn't supposed to pass... he was just supposed to... steal a scroll? "What?" Hoshiko shakes her head in mild confusion "huh, well... that's... something..."

She shook it off and went to celebrate with her family, but the lingering thought of what is that changed? What if she had changed him? Changed him from canon and– and he doesn't go along with whatever the test is? What will she do then?

Hoshiko breathes and she calms down and she waits until tomorrow she can panic tomorrow when her friend doesn't come– if, if he doesn't come.

Hoshiko sleeps, twisting and turning, mind uneasy. She can feel the fear crawling up her back but she stares it off and falls into a fitful slumber.

Waking up, especially from a nightmare, was always an arduous task for Hoshiko. She was quite certain that before she dreamt of the stars and beings away from here, it was easier—not as hard and didn't suck out all determination the moment she opened her eyes.

Sometimes she just didn't want to do anything, and sometimes that was valid. Other times, however, it wasn't valid, and she needed to start moving. So that's what she did. Hoshiko was going to be a shinobi; she remembered the future, she knew what she had to go against, and their ridiculously skilled set.

She knew that she wouldn't be able to survive it alone, but who said she would? She had her teammates on her side now, and she was going to do everything in her power to make Team Seven stay.

To make Sasuke stay was a change. Sakura not being on Team Seven was a change, and she wanted—no, needed to know that she was capable of changing the future, that even if she did, things wouldn't simply turn to canon. She wanted things to change, but if the universe and timeline didn't change, then what? What did she do?

Would she just give up? Or would she stay and fill Sakura's role? Could she even do that? Sakura was a medic, and Hoshiko hadn't tried medical ninjutsu. She doubted that she'd ever manage it; she still wasn't too sure about her control.

She didn't forget her hitai-ate, nor did she forget her gloves and new boots. The idea of showing her toes off felt unsettling. It had taken a while to get used to running in the boots. They weren't as shock-absorbent as sneakers or even sandals, but they had a nice grip and durability, so there was that.

She would definitely develop knee problems later in life, but what was the average lifespan of a shinobi? Probably not long enough for that to matter, so she would be using them anyway, and she had bandages already on in the case of blisters. Maybe one day she would be used to sandals, but that day was not today.

So with a small sigh, Hoshiko walked towards the academy for team assignments. The boots felt different but still comfortable enough to walk in. Hoshiko reached the academy not too long after Sasuke; he was a bit strange with timing like that, but she didn't mind. Sasuke was Sasuke, and she was already attached anyway.

Time passed, and a certain blonde came in. She saw him converse with Shikamaru about his status as a shinobi, and she couldn't help but smile at the boy who reminded her so much of him.

Of her Sun and her light and her pyromaniac... her... the smile faded as she got lost in thought. The one she cared for—cared for was not available, and she didn't know if he would ever be, not for her at least.

She listened as the teams were listed one by one: 1, 2, 3. She held her breath.

4, 5, 6. Her hands gripped tightly on her cheeks, digging into them as he listed off name after name. She didn't hear hers, but—

"Team 6: Hoseki Kaminari, Haruno Sakura, and Shirokawa Kaito."

It was almost guaranteed, yet as she heard the names listed off, she couldn't help but still feel faint tremors in her hands.

"Aren't people watching us...? Our sensei right there, watching from Hokage-sama's crystal ball thing... right?" The memory was faded, but she remembered little snippets of the crystal ball and its use. She couldn't quite recall if it was real or not.

Hoshiko looked forward, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Uzumaki Naruto—" She refocused as Iruka-Sensei continued, the moment she heard 'Uzumaki'. "Kazama Hoshiko and Uchiha Sasuke," she breathed out in sheer relief and smiled brightly, her mind racing, only to be cut off by a loud whoop of joy.

"Didja hear that?! We're on a team together!" She saw the sunshine blonde boy pump a fist in the air, celebrating. Hoshiko felt it all sink in—all this work and anxiety, and finally, finally, it was time now.

Their journey had just begun.