"Hmm…?" Captain Monmouth Morgan tipped his captain's hat upward upon hearing loud rumbling. Wasting no time, the business-minded buccaneer rolled backward and slipped underneath a handful of ground debris that smashed into the alcohol bubble he was floating on and splattered it into a rain of sticky and honey-smelling rum.
Captain Morgan dragged his right hand across the lapel of his military-style coat to scratch his right thumb on the sharp golden pin and sprinkle a few drops of his blood into the rumbling artificial lake below. He also pulled out a pump-up water gun rifle from behind the right-side inner pocket of his coat with his free hand and took aim at whatever scoundrel just tried to eliminate him and ruin this excellent business opportunity for him.
Much to the disgruntlement of the experienced pirate, it was in fact the mindless steampunk and clockwork golem under the employ of the eliminated Fennec's mercenary band. That didn't seem like someone who could have either been reasoned with or turned tipsy like his last opponent. The rumbling lake's surface shot up pillowy water bubbles of thick and sweet rum just in time for Captain Morgan to bounce off of one and begin scaling a handful of other ones while sparing himself the fruitless struggle of trying to nab a massive, armored fucker with an actual water gun.
Not having many options to avoid elimination, having itself firmly etched into some ruined pile of Cursed Warrior scrap, the metallic golem kept on burrowing for useless scrap and debris to fling at the much luckier, airborne combatants. With only three heads to be eliminated until the procession to the next round, a single good fling of trash could have earned the clockwork golem its hard-earned spot on the next round where all of Fennec's other mercs had failed.
"Devil's Honey: Suppressing Fire!" Captain Morgan barked out, taking aim with his massive, plastic water gun rifle and launching a handful of focused and continuous streams of sticky rum from it, aiming for the exposed chunks of clockwork joints. The plan was to stick them up and see if the pirate captain could have clogged them and kept this steampunk construction from moving altogether.
Things didn't work out exactly as Monmouth Morgan had intended though, for the metallic golem broke off a sharp rod amongst his barrage of debris and flung it straight at the pirate captain, both splattering his network of bubbles he scaled in mid-air and scraping his right arm with that sharp rod piece. This left Captain Morgan gliding in the air with a perforated coat and an injured left arm.
"Devil's Honey: Reload!" Monmouth Morgan barked out, biting deep into the pillow of his finger and splattering an alarming splash of blood all over himself and the water down below. The lake's surface whirled and sent jets of water that coated Monmouth Morgan up above and swirled into the open tank of his water gun, effectively reloading it. Meanwhile, the blood smeared all over Captain Morgan's coat converted the incoming water tendrils into rum, forming a protective, bloated bubble around his chest and arms that helped him slow down his fall.
Unraveling from Captain Morgan's body, the bubble formed an oval-shaped soft platform that could support the pirate's way somewhat, as long as he didn't kick and thrash around too badly or make any sudden moves. Kneeling, Captain Morgan unscrewed his fully loaded water gun tank and pocketed it for use later while pulling out a new plastic gun piece, equipped with a grotesque-looking needle at the other end. The resulting configuration of the water gun hardly looked usable, as it felt like it would have harmed the user by stabbing into their hands if they were to take aim.
This proved to be more of a feature than a bug, as Captain Morgan looked eager to skewer his hands onto those spikes. Revolting slurping sounds followed the water gun, filling its tank up with the buccaneer's blood instead of rum.
"Even if you can't get drunk, there's still such a thing as too much rum, matey," Captain Morgan muttered after wincing in pain that this gruesome method of attack put him through. The clockwork golem catapulted another handful of debris his way, but the airborne network of rum bubbles caught the chunks of asphalt, steel, and wood and trapped them inside while floating off into the air. Some debris grazed Monmouth Morgan's right shoulder, but the pirate maintained his aim.
"Devil's Honey: Whirlpool!" he chanted out, unleashing a stream of his blood toward the lake surface directly underneath the entrapped clockwork golem. The more of his blood he pumped into the area, the higher the blotch of crimson underneath the scrapyard became. This kept up until Captain Morgan emptied the entire tank and lowered the barrel of his gun for a breather.
Just as the unsuspecting golem was about to fling more debris and nail the pirate captain, the lake surface underneath him bubbled and shot up in a raging whirlpool pillar. The whirling stream was so intense and the liquid consisting the "rumnado" was so thick that it utterly ground the chunk of debris that the clockwork golem was entrapped in to fluffy junk and flopped the helpless and soaked golem into the water below, sending him sinking to the bottom, however, it was tall enough for the golem's back to stick out from the water after the golem deactivated upon elimination.
With a loud and pained grunt, Captain Morgan tumbled into an evasive roll and landed atop of the golem's back for a little breather after shedding so much blood to eliminate this troublesome foe. He hated battles like this most of all–battles where nothing substantial could have been gained by either party. Monmouth Morgan never held grudges against bounty hunters, in fact, he respected their hustle. This, however, was just bloodshed for the sake of it to both parties, and it nearly bled Captain Morgan dry.
"This is it! Captain Monmouth Morgan has eliminated the unidentified steampunk and clockwork golem that the Fennec's band of mercenaries dragged here!" the announcer shouted out. While this elimination was flashy, having erected a raging whirlpool of honey-colored alcohol that nearly scraped against the sky, it was hardly that much flashier than the usual affair of this bombastic royal rumble, and yet it made the audience absolutely lose it.
Why wouldn't the spectators rage on? Each successive elimination drove the number of leftover contestants ever closer to the Top 16. Even right now, just 18 contestants remain! The spectacular blood fest for the ages was just inches from being complete and it proved to be an event that occurred only once in a lifetime to any martial arts and different fighting styles aficionado.
Meanwhile, on the western wing of the arena, the spy-turned-mercenary Hit Boomslang grunted in frustration as the makeshift cardboard box decorated with the texture of the bricks of the protective wall he stuck himself to using his grappling hook and where he lurked to wait out the raging succession of eliminations until the Top 16 fell off him and exposed him to the elements. This was the first time that it happened, as a professional, he simply never made these sorts of mistakes!
"Oh my, that's so awfully unlucky, isn't it?" Hathmonpachi chuckled into an open hand with so much vigor that his massive, flappy ears fluttered like wings, dragged around by the chunky earrings the Salvari wore.
"Maybe so, but who needs luck when you've got skill?" Hit Boomslang exclaimed, slamming his chest with a hammering fist while Hathmonpachi calmly drew complex ritualistic shapes with his middle and index fingers, employing dharma to leave traces of his artistic expression with a glowing artistry of pure dharma energy floating in mid-air in front of him, as if time-space itself was the Salvari's canvas.
Hit Boomslang became enveloped in an intense flash of light that, when faded away, left no trace of the mercenary, activating some sort of light-reflecting cloaking technology, concealing Hit Boomslang's entire body. Given how the spy-turned-mercenary usually employed his favorite cardboard box for camouflage instead, he likely had limited usage of this technology with it being tied to a battery of some sort.
"Ohmic Mandala!" Hathmonpachi chanted out while thrusting his arms forward and sending an ethereal, pulsating rippling energy mandala symbol of pure dharma forward. Despite appearing to phase through both people and solid structures, this dharmic curse made Hit Boomslang's technological marvel go haywire as his cloaking bodysuit began sparking with electricity and shocking the spy himself. The malfunction exposed Hit Boomslang having crawled aside during the moment of camouflage using suction cup gadgets attached to his hands and feet.
The sudden failure of his whole bodysuit forced Hit Boomslang to try to shoot a grappling hook shot to zip further away from a potential one-on-one bout with a Salvari, something he didn't think he stood a very good chance of surviving. However, upon firing, the grappling hook simply shot off to the sky while the reeling wire it was supposed to be attached to unraveled before Hit Boomslang's own eyes. To make matters even worse, the suction cup pads that kept Hit Boomslang attached to the wall suddenly gave way and made the spy slip, threatening a freefall splash into the lake just a few meters below.
"Oh my, your equipment has failed you. Maybe you failed to maintain it properly, or maybe… You're just unlucky…" Hathmonpachi taunted his opponent with a hearty laugh, wrapping his thick belly with his arms and laughing it up. At the same time, Hit Boomslang kicked off the wall and found a nearby large nail sticking out from underwater, one of Vospyka's, to balance on and avoid taking the plunge underwater.
"I thought I told you, I don't need luck, I've got training under my belt," Hit Boomslang proclaimed, flinging a handful of black marbles at the airborne Salvari only for them to detonate before they even reached him. Based on the fact that they were mere explosive blasts with little to no chakra-conductive materials, it wasn't like it could have inflicted much damage on the Salvari even if they did land.
"You can repeat a move a thousand times, but one terrible stroke of luck is all that separates you from failure," Hathmonpachi said, adopting a meditating, airborne position as the dharma that surrounded him like an aura began to expand rapidly. Given its misfortune-granting properties, it probably could have soaked everyone but those that Hathmonpachi favored with bad luck for the duration of the tournament. However, Hit Boomslang didn't look too taken aback by this.
All of a sudden, the intense aura surrounding Hathmonpachi snuffed out, leaving the thick Salvari warrior kicking and swimming in mid-air before he plunged into the lake, unable to sustain his levitation anymore. Hit Boomslang leaned down and confronted his opponent after he swam back up, looking positively baffled by what had just happened.
"What on Earth…!?" Hathmonpachi gasped while trying to maintain his breathing and keep himself afloat. "My dharma is supposed to grant misfortunes to the impure and nothing but success to the wise and pure!"
"As I've said, luck is meaningless against those who come prepared," Hit Boomslang showed off a handful of the explosive marbles pinched in between his fingers. "Each one of these explosives contains two-hundred and fifty grams of nano-sized neural inhibitors that interfere with your nervous system. Whatever tricks your body employs will stop working until your body purges the nano-sized neural inhibitors. You've relied on your luck gimmick too much in battle. That's why when that fell off the table–you immediately failed."
"Why you!" a thunderous voice came from above as a blazing, golden trident phased clean through Hit Boomslang's image and caused a thunderous, explosive rupture in the water where Hathmonpachi was floating. When the water settled and rained back down where the violent burst pushed it out, Hathmonpachi was floating unconscious while the trident returned to Dashula's hand.
"Sorry, I wasn't going to be that careless. I immediately replaced myself with a holographic projection and went into hiding after my victory," Hit Boomslang tapped the side of his head in a taunt directed at the final competing Salvari warrior.
"Inconceivable! The ace spy, Hit Boomslang, has eliminated Hathmonpachi, the Ohmic Artist of the Salvari!" the announcer reported passionately. "This leaves only one remaining elimination until this sublime battle royale ends and we proceed to the next round of the festivities. But also, this only leaves Dashula, the Blissful Yogi Destroyer of the Salvari, still in the competition!"
Just as the announcer concluded his report to the audience, having lost a significant portion of his voice to the incessant yelling already, the giant squid Cursed Warrior sent its tendrils lashing out at the various airborne combatants, seeking to wrap them around either of them and send them swimming. Thus, the Cursed Warrior could have concluded the battle royale and sent three whole Cursed Warriors on to the next round.
Unfortunately for the ambitious weapon of mass destruction, his tendrils surrounded a levitating magical swordsman with a blond mullet and crown-like hair spikes sticking out on top of his head who had black, corrupting ooze wrapping around him from behind and spreading out in the shape of wings that helped him sustain his flight. With a myriad of wide and powerful slashes of his obsidian Zweihänder delivered with just one-armed swings, Gunshi Asupen, the cursed priest who accidentally read from a Necronomicon instead of a holy text during a sermon, cut up Batsuken's tendrils to pieces.
Completely devastated after losing all of its tentacles, the Cursed kraken leaned forward while expelling sparks and puffing out smoke. Batsuken had suffered some extensive damage throughout the battle royale already, meaning that such widespread and critical losses like losing all of its tentacles all but sealed its fate in the competition. After focusing his glistening white mana into his enormous, horned sword, Gunshi Asupen swung it downward, sending a crescent ranged slashing projectile that cut into Batsuken's core, blowing it up and felling it like a cut tree.
The devastated Cursed Warrior blew up several times and collapsed into split parts, completely breaking down to pieces before it even hit the lake's surface in defeat. The raging lake's surface bubbled, boiled, blew up with splashes, bubbles, and vapor, and spilled teardrops of downpour from the sky after welcoming the collapsed Batsuken into its embrace. It took two entire minutes for the risen tidal waves, crashing against the protective walls, the down-pouring artificial lake water to settle down.
Then reigned in the silence.
The audience jumped up, screaming out of their minds, throwing their turbans and hats into the air, and cheering for the Top 16 that made it to the next round. One of these 16 would end up being the next sheikh of Agbarah who would decide what would be the fate of the Sun Disc arena and the entire Sheikhate. They could have used that power to tip the scales of the political arena or to continue Agbarah's position of neutrality and hosting these incredible martial arts events for all to see.
"Ladies and gentlemen, it's over! I can't believe I'm saying it, but it's over!" the announcer forced his way through the wall of blocks that made his voice raspy and rough. "This battle royale is over and from 170 competitors, we've determined the Top 16 who will move on to the following round–a round of one-on-one fights in a single elimination tournament that will start the day after tomorrow! That's right, after this astonishing show, the contestants will have the rest of today, as well as tomorrow, to lick their wounds, and then they're back to it!"
The remaining competitors ceased their fighting, some of them let themselves submerge in the warm water of the artificial lake after long last, and some of them remained afloat or collapsed on top of whatever platform they could find. Just about any place to extend their legs while the audience cheered out of their minds for these brave and enduring competitors who toughed it out and outlasted over a hundred of their peers. So many powerhouses that could have been champions of any other tournament didn't make it while these amazing brawlers did.
"Here are your Top 16: the spy Hit Boomslang, samurai Ichijiki Muramasa, pro athlete Wayna Nunnon, pro athlete Hanomahal Moenaka, pro athlete Ryoku Genshi, Cursed Warrior Batsudoru, pirate captain Li Shan, serial killer Kita Esatoko, serial killer Granny Bantou, ninja Yoibetsu-N, magician Bogemu Uneyotsu, the Curse Walker of the Cursed Warriors, Dashula the Blissful Yogi Destroyer of the Salvari, pirate captain Monmouth Morgan, magical swordsman Gunshi Aspen, pro athlete Yenisel Saturona!" the announcer listed the survivors of the battle royale. "To put the cherry on today's impossible-to-surpass festivities, don't leave to enjoy the pleasures of a festive Agbarah just yet, because we'll be announcing the match-ups for the upcoming round to determine those that will move on to the quarter-finals in a minute!"
Before the restless audience that just began settling back down in their seats dared to wonder how this over-the-top event would announce the match-ups, the entire building rumbled with strident fireworks lighting up the evening sky by cascading in a blazing and flashy ring of colors from the roof of the Sun Disc arena and illuminating the names of two combatants for each of the successive bouts of the Top 16 stage of the event:
Match No. 1: Hanomahal Moenaka VS Yoibetsu-N;
Match No. 2: Ichijiki Muramasa VS Ryoku Genshi;
Match No. 3: Li Shan VS Bogemu Uneyotsu;
Match No. 4: Gunshi Aspen VS Kita Esatoko;
Match No. 5: Monmouth Morgan VS Wayna Nunnon;
Match No. 6: Curse Walker VS Granny Bantou;
Match No. 7: Batsudoru VS Dashula;
Match No. 8: Hit Boomslang VS Yenisel Saturona;
The audience pumped their fists and cheered long after the lights went out, making the path open for the healers to swarm the arena to scoop up the injured and exhausted competitors and nurse them back to as close to being full health as it was possible until the next round matches started. The task of the construction workers to rebuild the arena to a presentable state before the day after tomorrow was just as daunting at the first sight.
And thus the most eventful and bombastic martial arts event in recorded history had come to an end, planting the seeds for much more intimate and far less chaotic match-ups to determine the next Sheikh of Agbarah to come.
Author's Note: That's right, the Battle Royale that took me over a year IRL to complete is finally over! It's still hard to believe it, honestly XD
Back when I was writing the Intertemporal and Interuniversal Chuunin Exams, I initially intended the battle royale to be something akin to this one, except, obviously, featuring a bunch of Naruto characters from different periods in time. However, at the time, I sort of chickened out at the last second and decided to do what I did - just a Konohamaru Comment Squad commentary track of the battle royale instead to drastically cut down the length. I don't regret doing that right now, even though I still think that doing it detailed and drawn out would have been loads of fun too.
I figured that people got sick of this section a few weeks in and I wondered if anyone would even be reading it by the end, as I had a feeling that it might take me at least this long to finish it, but, oddly enough, I've actually gained a lot more readers than I lost, even if I believe that neither of them really signed up for this arc specifically. It's so strange and it only sealed my impression that I can't for the life of me figure out what people are thinking and how they'll like certain sections and developments. In a way, it only makes it more fun to experiment with the story.
I'd imagine some readers might be confused about what happened to Mana, don't worry, this year-long storyline hasn't made me forget that the story is, ultimately, still all about Mana's journey. She'll be back soon enough! I can't promise you that she'll be back the very next chapter, but I can DEFINITELY promise you it won't take me another year to put her back in her own body at long last! In any case, I honestly hope you've enjoyed the ride so far and that you'll enjoy what I've got planned next, both for wrapping up this storyline, which is two-thirds done, and what's in store for the future of Mana and the Stars.
Thanks for sticking with the story, it means a lot 3