Seventy-two more hours of the heaviest silence the Doctor had ever endured.
He kept tabs on Rose, sure. Made sure she was eating, she was alright, physically speaking.
He was waiting for her to come tell him she wanted to go home.
It was all he could think of- how his mistreatment would make her want to leave him. She'd be right to do so.
'Live a life as long as I have... you can assume I've... danced... before...'
It was that night, even though they'd picked up a the stray that was Jack Harkness, she'd first came to his room.
Before that, it had been an unspoken rule. No bedrooms. He dare not enter hers- ever the gentlemen, and she'd never had any reason to come into his.
'You owe me a dance.' She'd said, tongue just poking through her toothy grin.
'We danced!' The Doctor had defended. 'Cut a real rug.'
'No, not like before.' She'd crossed the room, stopping about a foot from him.
'No music in here.' He'd defended, swallowing thickly. He'd wanted to run, but as she was in his most private place on the whole bloody ship- Where could he go?
'Two hearts provide plenty of rhythm, I should think.' She held our her hand.
Before he knew what had happened, Rose was in his arms, her arms around his neck and her cheek resting on his chest. They swayed gently for a while before either of them spoke, but finally the Doctor broke the silence.
'You really are something else, Rose Tyler.' He'd murmured into her hair. She'd looked up at him with her large, dark chocolate eyes.
Her face was in his palm.
Lips brushed.
Mouths opened. Kisses deepened. Hands wandered.
Then, somehow, the Doctor was waking up and remembering just how he'd ended up with the naked Goddess that was Rose Tyler sleeping soundly in his bed.
The sound of the console room door opening alerted the Doctor to her presence. He'd been working on making the stabilizers for landing smoother, not something completely necessary, but it was something to occupy his time while Rose was avoiding him. She came in and sat on the empty bench behind the jump seat. She still carried herself with the guarded posture of keeping her abdomen covered. He offered her a smile but was met with no returned sentiment.
"I'm ready to talk about it now." She said mousily.
The Doctor laid down his wrench and looked over the tangle of wires he'd pulled from their places. "Alright." He nodded, silently relieved. "Here? Or...?"
"Hmm. Library, maybe?" She suggested. The library was one of Rose's favorite places in the whole TARDIS. It had shelves with self contained gravity that kept the books from flying off as they sailed through time and space, plus several plush, comfortable chairs and couches.
"Why don't you go ahead, I'll bring a tray and some tea?" He suggested. Rose had nodded and ducked back out as quickly as she'd came in. The Doctor hoped she'd be there when he finally did make it with the tea.
He took the time getting a tea tray ready to still his own nerves. Put out all four of her favorite flavors of tea, sugar and honey for sweetener, and at least five types of biscuit. It was almost too cluttered to put the kettle on the tray by the time the water was hot, but he found a way to make it all fit. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and prayed to anyone listening that the conversation he was about to have didn't put him into double cardiac arrest.
He found her in his favorite chair- over stuffed green chair that could've easily sat the two of them. He'd had it longer than he cared to admit, at least a century or two- and it was patched in a couple places. But rather than being comfortably snuggled back into the soft upholstery, she was sitting on the very edge of the cushion, nervously twisting the end of the braid she had in her hand. He sat the tray on the coffee table beside her and then dragged another chair over from its place in the corner.
"I'm sorry." He sighed, looking at her tired face.
His beautiful Rose looked exhausted. He didn't know whether she'd been sleeping or not, but it looked as if she had at least not been sleeping restfully.
"Me too." She shrugged.
"You don't have anything to be sorry for." He replied gently as she moved about, making herself a cup of tea. "You were right at each point. I have been treating you differently. I did mishandle our situation. I've been an absolute ass."
"You won't hear me argue that." Rose snorted, giving the only genuine smile he'd seen in days. He tried to return an equally genuine one, but couldn't bring himself to stop looking distressed.
"I want to answer a question you asked me, before." The Doctor started, blowing a large breath toward the hair that had fallen over his brow.
"Alright, yeah." Rose nodded.
"When I regenerated, I was... I was reminded of mortality. Rose- A regeneration can age, but I can't die. Not in the normal sense. If nothing goes horribly wrong, then theoretically, I could age with you. I was aiming to look more your age when I changed, but it is a bit of a lottery."
Rose licked her lips and nodded, both hands grasping her mug, though she'd not even sipped at it yet.
"But one day, I will lose you, Rose." He continued, voice breaking. "And I-"
Rose knew of the Time War. His life on Gallifrey. Running away. His marriages and relationships, families... Children and even grandchildren he'd lost over his long centuries. She'd be another one. She knew that. From the moment he told her he was a nine hundred year old alien, she knew that eventually she'd be gone. It made her feel all the more special that he chose to give her any of his time, as to her The Doctor was something larger than life. And everywhere they went, seeing how he helped people, how whole armies would run at the mention of his name... she was all the more in awe of him.
"You pulled back because you'd forgotten that it was your reality." She guessed. The Doctor looked away and nodded, but Rose didn't miss the tear streaking down his cheek.
"Yeah." He breathed.
"That's still true, you know." Rose replied, her voice low and serious.
"No, its worse." He looked back to her. "Its much, much worse."
"How?" Rose ask, finally sipping at the steaming mug in her hands.
"It won't just be me." The Doctor explained, his face twisted in the pain of his words, "It'll be us that lose you. Two hearts, Rose. The baby is a Time Lord."
"Then I'll have helped you stop being alone." Rose replied quickly. "That's all I've wanted this entire time."
The Doctor sat gobsmacked by what she'd just said. It wasn't as if she was facing her immediate doom, of course, but it would never be enough time.
"When I did what I did in the Time War... What I was forced to do..." He took a shuddered breath, "I hated myself so so much. I was running. Chasing anyone and anything I could save. That's why I was at your shop that day. I saw you- Gods but how you took my breath away..."
Rose smiled as he remembered aloud.
"I never could've imagined you could make me love you so much I'd forget I hate myself." He confessed, spouting the words as if he might lose the bravery needed to say them.
"Excuse me?" Rose ask, blinking at him.
"I said I love you." The Doctor repeated. "I've said it before... Except at the time you were asleep and I had that Northern Accent you liked to pick on so much."
Tears welled up in Rose's eyes.
"Now that's- That's not fair." She stuttered, her emotions escaping the tight hold she'd held them with until his revelation. "You... You can't just..."
Rose closed her eyes, a sob wracking her body. She felt dizzy, and tried to still herself by holding her head in her hands. She felt the gentle touch of the Doctor's hands over hers, and slowly she allowed him to pull them away so he could see her face.
"I never meant for anything to happen to you, Rose." He promised, "I just- I tried to keep my distance. I did. Then you started talking about dancing and I knew bloody well you didn't mean to music... I gave in. Its been so long since I let myself be close to anyone- I never imagined when I actually tried to find a friend I'd find the love of my lives."
At this statement, Rose cried harder.
"Please, sweet girl," The Doctor tried to soothe her, "I know this isn't fair. But its all in the open now, and yours to do with what you want. I've been talking like I just assumed you'd want to continue this pregnancy, so for that, I am once again terribly sorry."
"Serious right now?" Rose blubbered, wiping her face with her open palms, "Doctor, 'course I want to keep the baby. So what if I don't get but the one lifetime with you?- I'd rather have you both than anything else."
"So you're staying?" The Doctor ask hopefully.
"Do you want to be with me?" Rose ask, not answering his question.
"More than anything in this universe." He breathed.
"Then I'm staying."