A/N: To the incredibly sweet and lovely reviewer who took the time to message me today (you know who you are), thank you so much. Reading your message made me feel so special and I am so glad you're enjoying the story! I hope it will continue to bring you even the smallest measure of happiness! And now, enough mushy stuff. Game on!
Abbey ran her hands through her hair as she read the medical text in front of her for the millionth time, fighting against the extremely strong urge to scream, and sighed. She had been studying for hours and while she knew almost all of the material, there were still a few problem areas that she was sure would drive her insane by the end of the day. She'd lost count of how many times she'd gone over the same few passages, and each time her brain made even the smallest of mistakes, she rolled her eyes, feeling more than a little frustrated with herself. She knew she was being ridiculous, knew that her high standards were being enforced by no one but herself, and she shook her head as she started from the beginning.
The words on the page were beginning to blur and when she realized she had skipped an entire section without even comprehending it, she threw the book across the room, thankful that Millie had chosen to spend her evening elsewhere. Accepting that she wasn't going to make any meaningful progress, Abbey stood quickly, throwing a jacket over her shoulders, not even glancing back as she bolted from the room. Maybe Jed would be able to help calm the racing thoughts in her head.
God, she hoped so.
"All I'm saying is that I don't see the appeal," Jed said, glancing at his roommate as he leaned back in his bed, "You've got everyone watching your every move every minute of the day, they ask invasive questions, always want to know every single detail of your life…it just sounds like a headache."
"Yeah, but you get to date actresses and models."
Jed rolled his eyes.
"No, thank you. I'm perfectly fine with how my life is now. I have no desire to become an actor."
"If you say so," Jeremy said doubtfully, "I'm just saying it could be—"
The knock on the door cut his sentence short, and as Jed stood up to answer it, Jeremy gave him a smile, reclining back on his pillows.
"I'll convince you one way or another."
Shaking his head, Jed rolled his eyes again, pulling the door open without a word. He had little time to react before Abbey's lips were on his, her hands tangling in his hair as she pushed him back into the room, and he dimly registered Jeremy's surprised laugh when she kicked the door shut.
"Abbey—"
"Stop talking," she said, her voice soft but commanding.
She kissed him again, quite possibly more urgently than she ever had before, and Jed reached for her waist, trying to put some distance between them.
"Abbey, Jeremy's right here, and—"
"Get out," Abbey said shortly, her eyes briefly flickering to Jeremy.
If he was offended by her harshness, Jeremy said nothing, merely exchanging a confused glance with Jed, and when Abbey tried to kiss him again, Jed stepped back, shaking his head seriously.
"What's going on, Abbey? Did something happen?"
"Jed, stop asking questions."
Jed grabbed her wrists, effectively stopping her attempts to undo the buttons on his shirt, his eyes meeting Jeremy's over her shoulder worriedly. He saw the same expression mirrored in his friend's eyes, and he shook his head slowly.
"Abbey, what are you doing here?"
"Since when do I need a reason to have sex with my boyfriend? You've never complained before and just a few weeks ago, you were worried because I didn't want to have sex. Make up your mind, Jed. You can't have it both ways."
"Actually, I can," he said, still refusing to let go of her wrists, "I'm not sure what's been going on with you, but something has changed since the start of the school year. I know that the work is more difficult and that you've been second-guessing yourself, but I'm not going to let you use me as a distraction. Some guys might be okay with solving all their problems with sex, but I'm not. And I know, deep down, you're not that kind of person, either. I think you're just scared and you're acting irrationally. Have you even made a single appointment with Dr. Harris since last year?"
Abbey shook her head, still trying to break free of his hold, and when she spoke again, there was a hint of annoyance in her voice.
"I'm acting irrationally? Who was it that recently got so drunk that he could barely form a complete sentence? I know it might be a bit of a blank spot in your memory, but it was you, Jed."
Jed rolled his eyes, his hands still encircling her wrists.
"One time, Abigail. I've been drunk exactly one time in my life. You, on the other hand, have been acting like a completely different person lately, and I—"
The darkness that enveloped them suddenly cut off his words, and he frowned as he glanced around the room in confusion.
"What the hell?"
Jeremy stood slowly, feeling his way to the door, stumbling as he tried to find the doorknob.
"I'll go check it out."
Jed nodded before remembering that his friend likely couldn't see him, and as the door closed behind him, he turned his attention back to Abbey, trying to find her eyes in the dark. Now that he was certain she wasn't going to attempt to remove any of his clothing, he felt comfortable letting go of her, and he released her wrists, letting his hands fall to his side. He felt rather than saw her step away from him, and when he heard the slight creaking of his mattress, he knew she had sat down on the bed.
His eyes were slowly beginning to adjust to the sudden darkness, and he could just make out her silhouette to his right, though he wanted nothing more than to be able to see her eyes. Abbey's bright green eyes had always been incredibly expressive, the one part of her that she couldn't conceal her true emotions from, and he was almost desperate for anything that would help him understand what had changed so drastically over the last three months. He carefully made his way over to the bed, mindful of anything that he could trip over, and when he sat down next to her, he felt her jump slightly.
"Honey…I know you're worried about not being able to make it through the year, but you've done so well. Your grades are just as good as they were last year, and you might not realize it, but you are making progress. You still kick my ass on every crossword puzzle, and—"
"Jed, it's not that. I mean, yes, the work has been harder, but…do you know what day it is?"
Jed frowned, thinking.
"The seventeenth?"
"It's been a year. It's been an entire goddamned year, and I can still feel his hands on me, I can still hear his voice in my head. I thought this was supposed to get easier with time, but I still feel like I'm just some stupid whore who couldn't—"
"Hey, hey, wait just a damn minute," Jed said seriously, "You're not a whore."
She laughed bitterly, shaking her head.
"Jed, everyone thinks I'm a whore. Even your own father, and he's never met me."
"My father is a bastard, and we all know that. And you just proved my point whether you know it or not. He's never met you, Abbey. He doesn't know a damn thing about you, so why would you think he has enough information to pass judgment on your character? More importantly, how do you know everyone thinks that? Have you asked anyone, or is that just what you're secretly afraid of and convinced yourself of?"
She said nothing, her silence all but confirming that he had been right, and he reached for her hand, holding it tightly in his own.
"Abbey…do you think you're a whore?" he asked softly, watching her closely in the darkness.
"I must be, Jed," she whispered, staring at their entwined hands, "I must have done something, or said something that made him think he could just—and even if I didn't, look at how badly I've corrupted you! You were going to be a priest before you met me."
Jed moved closer, wrapping his arm around her shoulder lightly.
"You did no such thing. I told you last year that even if you walked away, I wouldn't go back to the priesthood, and I meant it. You don't need to feel guilty about that, it's not like you held a gun to my head and forced me to leave it behind. It was my choice, and I would do it again, no questions asked. As for being assaulted, no one is to blame for the assault except the attacker. Even if you had told him that you wanted to sleep with him, the second you changed your mind and he hadn't stopped, it would have been his fault. Anyone who looked at you could see that you didn't ask for that and would be able to testify that you were terrified of him. And with damn good reason."
He reached out slowly, running his fingers through her hair, and kissed her cheek softly.
"I didn't realize you were still so affected by it, and I should have. How long have you been trying to run from this?"
"I never stopped," Abbey admitted quietly, "I thought that if I just pushed it out of my mind, eventually I would forget it ever happened."
"You know that's counterproductive, right?" he asked with a smile, "The more you try to forget something, the more you end up thinking about it."
"I know," she sighed, "I guess I didn't realize how much it still affected me until I noticed the date. No matter what I do, I can't stop the screaming in my head."
"Is that why you've been pushing yourself so hard academically this year? You've been trying to focus on that instead of the assault, and when you fall short, you feel like it's just one more thing you failed at?"
Abbey nodded, wiping her hand under her eyes slowly.
"I thought that if my grades were good enough, everyone would overlook what had happened and that if I could be perfect, no one would care about my past."
"No one is perfect, babe," he reminded her gently, "and I don't think anyone even thinks about the assault anymore. Except the people who love you. We all still want to commit murder, but you know…laws and such."
She frowned, looking at him slowly.
"Jed, you would never commit murder."
"To protect you, I would do anything," he whispered seriously, kissing her gently, "and if you think Jeremy and Millie wouldn't be right there with me, you really are insane."
The door opened suddenly, making them both jump, and when Jed heard his roommate's voice, he breathed a sigh of relief.
"You guys decent?"
Jed rolled his eyes.
"How would you even be able to tell if we weren't?"
"Good point," Jeremy replied after a moment, "Anyway, I found out what happened to the lights. Pretty bad windstorm out there. Knocked a tree into the power lines. Took me forever to find my way back here in the dark."
"I don't suppose either of you have any candles?" Abbey asked lightly.
"No, but I have a lighter and a metal trash can. We could burn some paper."
"No thanks, Jeremy," Jed said with a laugh, "I think they might actually kick us out if we burned down the building."
There was a momentary flare of light as Jeremy flicked his lighter, sparking a memory in Jed, and he frowned as he turned to glance at Abbey, his expression puzzled as he looked at her.
"Hey…why did you have a lighter in your pocket the night we met at that party? You don't smoke."
"Ron did," Abbey said with a wave of her hand, "I can't seem to get away from men who smoke, no matter how hard I try."
Jed laughed, kissing her hard as Jeremy lit his cigarette, and in the dim light of the flame, he was so relieved to see her smiling that he wanted to shout it from the rooftops.
"You're definitely not getting away from me, baby. You're stuck with me until the end of time and maybe even after."
Abbey raised her eyebrows in the dark, though it was difficult to see, and she started to laugh, her head falling onto his shoulder.
"Let me guess, you'll haunt me from the afterlife?"
"Yep. Any time another man so much as glances in your direction, I'll be there to make him regret it."
"How romantic," Abbey said, rolling her eyes, "A jealous ghost."
"Hey, I'm gonna go try to find my way to some food. Do you two want anything?" Jeremy asked.
"No, I think we're good here."
As they listened to Jeremy stumble down the hallway, Jed reached for Abbey's hand, pulling his own lighter from his pocket slowly.
"Hey, Abbey?"
"Hm?"
"Look at me."
She turned her head, flinching slightly when he flicked the lighter, and when their eyes me in the glow of the flame, Jed nodded once, smiling as he set it on his bedside table.
"I was right."
Abbey frowned.
"About what?"
"Your eyes will always set my universe on fire," he whispered, pulling her close as he kissed her.
All in all, it was the perfect way to end the night, and as Abbey's hands wound into his hair, she finally felt like she could breathe for the first time in months.
"How have you been feeling since the start of the school year? I'm sure that as you get farther in your studies, the pressure has the tendency to feel overwhelming."
Abbey sighed, looking at Dr. Harris slowly, unsure of how much to tell him, and when she remembered the promise she had made to Jed, she shook her head. She had to be honest, no matter how badly she didn't want to.
"It can be, but I can handle that for the most part. That's not the part that worries me. I—I can deal with the pressure, the stress, all of it, as long as I take time to decompress after a long day. I can't handle the emptiness."
Dr. Harris looked at her curiously, tilting his head before he spoke.
"The emptiness?" he repeated, "Can you elaborate on that, Abbey?"
Abbey nodded. She hoped so, anyway.
"There are days when I feel every single emotion. At least, that's what it feels like. Happy, excited, scared, nervous, exhausted, determined, you get the idea. Those days are fine. But then there are days when I don't feel anything. It's like I'm completely numb and I don't care about anything at all. Those are the days I hate the most, and they've been happening a lot more often over the past year and it scares me."
Dr. Harris made a note in his folder before answering, his eyes studying her intently as he did so.
"Have you considered that this could be the result of you trying to ignore the trauma of the last year? You mentioned that you often try to forget that the assault happened, and it's entirely possible that this is your minds way of trying to make that a reality. By turning off all emotions, you can focus on that emptiness rather than the assault, which you would rather not face."
Abbey was silent as she considered his words, and when she nodded slowly, she realized that he might have just made more sense than anything she'd heard all year.
"How do I stop it from happening?"
"You've already started. By coming here and confiding in me, by opening up to Jed about the anniversary of the attack, you're already on your way to fully processing the event and, in time, you can heal completely from it. That isn't to say that your life will be the way it was before the assault, that simply isn't possible, but you won't feel the need to bury your emotions or to use Jed as a distraction. Do I think your tendency to overachieve will fade in time? No, because that's simply part of who you are and have always been, but you'll be doing it to better yourself rather than running from things that are out of your control. You're an incredibly bright young woman, and I have no doubt that you'll excel in anything you decide to try. So maybe cut yourself some slack and remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes and that you don't have to constantly strive for perfection. If you never make mistakes, how can you expect to learn?"
As much as she hated to admit she'd been wrong, Abbey was starting to see the benefits of this whole "psychiatry" business…
Watching Abbey while she studied had always been one of Jed's favourite pastimes, and the current moment was no exception. Her eyes narrowed in concentration as she read the pages in front of her, and it took everything in his power to keep his hands from pulling the pen from her fingers as she made revisions on her latest paper. It was endearing (and incredibly sexy), the way she let the pen rest lightly against her lips as she read, never fully in her mouth, and Jed found that he had never been so jealous of an inanimate object in his entire life. She was entirely engrossed by her work, not noticing as he moved closer, and when he leaned over her shoulder to examine the paper, she jumped at the feeling of his breath on her neck.
"Making any progress?" he asked lightly.
She nodded, her eyes still focused on the pages.
"Must be an interesting class. English?"
Abbey gave no indication that she'd heard him, and he smirked, trying again.
"French, maybe? Definitely isn't mathematics. You hate numbers."
He reached out to sweep her hair to one side, slowly trailing his lips along her throat, and though he felt her draw in a breath, she still kept her attention on the papers on her lap, making him smile.
"Abbey…you've been making revisions on that same paper for hours. Take a break."
He kept kissing her throat, his arm snaking around her waist slowly, and when he reached out to take the pen from between her fingers, she finally looked at him, a small smile on her face.
"Jed, don't start something you can't finish."
He tossed the pen across the room, having no idea where it landed, not caring in the least.
"Take a break. The French aren't going to invent any new words in the next hour."
Abbey laughed quietly, shaking her head as he pushed the papers from her lap.
"It's an English essay," she said softly.
"Even better. You're already perfectly fluent in English."
Jed ran his thumb slowly over her bottom lip, feeling a shudder pass through his entire body when she bit down carefully, and as his mouth claimed hers in a long kiss, he pulled her into his lap. Abbey's hands immediately reached to pull his shirt from the waistband of his pants, and as she tossed it to the ground, his lips found her throat again, her head tipping back as he tasted her skin. He scraped his teeth along her carotid artery, tightening his hold on her hips to keep her from falling, and ran his tongue over the smooth skin as he kissed her again.
"Jed," she gasped, "I—"
The door opening made him jump, losing his hold on her, and she fell to the floor with a shriek, staring at him in confusion as she shook her head.
"What?"
He merely nodded in the direction of the door, and when her eyes landed on Millie, Abbey glared at her, rolling her eyes in annoyance.
"Damn it, Millie, what's a girl have to do to get laid around here?"
Millie couldn't help the laugh that fell from her lips as she took in Abbey's disheveled appearance, made all the more amusing by the fact that she was sprawled on the ground, and even Jed began to laugh as he reached for his previously abandoned shirt.
"Sorry, Abs," Millie answered, in a tone that suggested she wasn't really sorry at all, "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't see anything other than you falling on your ass."
She began laughing again, ignoring the irritated look that her friend was giving her, and her eyes landed on Jed just as he was pulling his shirt back over his head.
"Looking good, Jed," she remarked lightly, "Been hitting the gym?"
Jed laughed, shaking his head.
"No, just lucky, I guess."
"Hey! If I don't get to appreciate a shirtless Jed, no one does! Watch it, Millie!" Abbey snapped.
Jed smiled, holding out his hand to help her up, and when Abbey pulled him down onto the floor with her, Millie laughed again, pleased to see her best friend in a good mood. Abbey laughed when he shoved her playfully, her hand resting lightly on his arm as he kissed her, and when she looked at him seriously, he gave her a warm smile.
"Well, if we aren't going to have sex, then I suggest you start looking for my pen," she told him.
Jed rolled his eyes.
"Come on, babe! I have no idea where that landed!"
"Sounds like a personal problem. You were the one who threw it across the room. Better start looking."
As Jed begrudgingly stood to begin his search, Abbey quickly reached out to smack his backside, offering him nothing more than a smile and raised eyebrows when he turned to look at her.
"Thanks a lot, Millie," he muttered as he began crawling under the bed, cursing himself for throwing the pen in the first place.
A quiet laugh was his only answer.
"What do you see when you picture your future?" Abbey asked Jed quietly one evening as they walked back from a particularly difficult study session, trying to lighten the mood.
"Depends on how far in the future," he said honestly, "If it's a few years from now, probably still in school. If it's twenty years from now, who knows? Probably still in school in some way. Maybe a teacher or something. Or were you asking about nonprofessional aspects?"
She shrugged, entwining their fingers together as they walked.
"Either one."
"Hm…well, I'll inherit my grandfather's farm when he passes, it's already in the will, so unless he decides to change it, I'll probably be living on a farm in New Hampshire with some horses, maybe a dog, and an incredibly beautiful woman to spend every night with."
"You're going to live with Audrey Hepburn?" Abbey asked playfully.
"Now that you mention it…do you know her, by chance?"
Abbey laughed, shaking her head as she laid it on his shoulder, and Jed kissed her fingers lightly when he raised her hand to his lips.
"What kind of dog?"
"Well," Jed paused, glancing down at her, "I've been seriously thinking about a Border Collie. An incredibly beautiful and smart woman once told me that she would choose that particular breed, and she's never steered me wrong yet. Besides, how else am I going to convince her to spend the rest of her life on a farm in New Hampshire if I don't have at least one thing to bribe her with?"
Abbey smiled, lost in thought as they walked, and it was only the sound of Jed's voice that pulled her from them, his tone more than a little curious.
"What about you? Are you still having doubts about med school?"
She frowned, thinking hard, and she finally shook her head, surprising even herself with her answer.
"No. I know it's going to be difficult, but somehow, I just know that it's what I'm supposed to do. I want to help make the world a better place, in any way that I can."
"You will, baby. There's not a doubt in my mind about that."
"As for nonprofessional, there's really only one thing I see in my future with any kind of certainty."
Jed glanced at her, raising his eyebrows in question.
"Yeah? What's that?"
"You," she said simply, stopping to kiss him, "I see you."
Jed could feel her watching him as they languidly strolled around the campus, thankfully just enjoying their time together, so it came as no surprise when she said his name, and he fought the urge to laugh. Sometimes, she could be incredibly predictable.
"Jed, answer me this: how can you hate mathematics but love numbers? You love statistics and odds, yet you hate the entire subject they originate from. Enlighten me on how that makes any kind of sense other than non."
Now he did laugh, shaking his head as he tried to think of a way to explain it. In truth, he didn't quite understand it himself, and as he thought about his answer, he finally smiled.
"I guess because statistics and odds provide proof. Not so much odds, but I enjoy beating them whenever possible. But when you have statistics, you can form a plan of action and based on previous attempts, you can have an accurate guess as to how the situation will play out. It's not foolproof, but it's fairly consistent."
Abbey nodded, accepting his answer without further question, and when she stopped walking suddenly, he frowned, wondering what was wrong.
"Look, Jed," she said softly, her eyes turned upward, "It's snowing."
Though he hated to look away from her, he glanced up at the sky, nodding when a snowflake fell on his cheek, and as they began walking again, he smiled as the snow began to cling to her hair. It glittered in her mahogany strands, giving her an almost ethereal appearance, and he pulled her closer, kissing her hard as the snow began to fall harder.
"What was that for?" she asked when he finally released her.
He shrugged.
"Do I need a reason?"
"I guess not," Abbey laughed.
"If you really need one, it's because I love you, and you look like an angel in the snow."
"Jed Bartlet, you really know how to make a girl feel special."
As he kissed her again, he had no idea if the flush in her skin was a result of his words or the cold, but his ego was choosing to believe it was the former.
Staring at Abbey as though she had lost her mind, it took Jed several moments to offer her his assistance, almost certain she had been joking. When she began the task of pulling Millie's bed across the floor, he realized she was entirely serious, and as he moved to help her, he gave her a strange look.
"Why are we doing this?" he asked, breathing heavily as they worked.
"Because, Jed," Abbey said, her voice slightly breathless, "If I have one more interruption when we're trying to have time alone, I'm not going to be responsible for my actions."
Jed laughed as they positioned Millie's bed up against the door, effectively keeping it from being thrown open, and he shook his head as he tried to control his breathing.
"You're telling me that we just moved her bed in front of the door just because you're a little randy and we haven't slept together recently?"
"Yes," she said simply, "and so help me God, if you don't come over here and kiss me right now, I will cheerfully strangle you to death."
"Well, far be it from me to—"
"Jed?"
He glanced at her, and she beckoned him closer, her eyes deadly serious.
"Now."
"Yes, ma'am."
He made his way closer, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her against his body, kissing her harder than he had in weeks, and when he bit down on her bottom lip, she moaned, the sound making him shiver. Her legs collided with the edge of her bed, causing her to fall onto it, and her momentum brought them both down to the mattress, Jed barely having time to catch himself on his hands as he landed. A quick glance and a nod from Abbey assured him that she was okay, and he kissed her again, his fingers making quick work of the buttons on her shirt.
Any typical romantic undressing was abandoned with little thought as their clothing was tossed haphazardly around the room, and when Jed's fingers slid into her, Abbey made no attempt to quiet the moan that fell from her lips as his tongue explored her mouth. It had been so long since he'd touched her that it didn't take long for her to near the edge, each twist and caress of his fingers making her entire body jerk beneath him, and when he suddenly stopped, her whimper of protest made him impossibly harder.
"Jed…" she whispered, her voice almost desperate in his ear.
He grabbed a condom from the box under her bedside table, putting it on quickly but carefully, and when his hips slammed into hers, he felt her nails dig into his skin, painful in the best possible way. Abbey's breath tore from her lungs in short gasps, her legs wrapping around his hips as he moved, and as she used his arm to pull herself up to kiss him, Jed couldn't stop the way he moaned her name. He knew he wouldn't last long, not at this pace, and as he moved his lips to her collarbone, he reached between them to touch her, feeling immensely proud of himself when he heard her breath catch.
If she had been able to speak, Abbey knew she would have screamed his name, not caring in the slightest who might overhear, but she was past the ability to do more than draw in a ragged breath just before he kissed her again. The sensation of him inside her was amplified by his hand between her legs, and when the orgasm ripped through her body, it took her several minutes to realize that he had stopped, her head falling onto his shoulder as she tried to remember how to breathe. She was almost certain she had never experienced an orgasm that intense in her life, and she fleetingly wondered if the weeks of absence might not have been worth it after all.
She was so caught up in her thoughts that she jumped when Jed brushed her damp hair out of her face, and as he pulled out of her, he looked at her with a slightly concerned expression.
"You okay, baby?"
She nodded, still too unsure of her own voice to speak, and gave him a small smile.
"You sure?" he didn't look convinced.
"I'm fine," she said, her voice breathless and shaky, "I just need a minute for my lungs to remember that they have a purpose."
Jed laughed, kissing her forehead before moving off the bed to search for his clothing.
"You know, I seem to remember saying that I had a goal to see how many times I could make you scream my name in one night, but I think this was even better."
"How so?" Abbey asked, slowly sitting up and glancing around the room curiously.
"Seems to me that if the woman you're sleeping with has the ability to scream, you're not doing it right."
It was quite possibly the most sexually explicit thing Abbey could ever remember hearing him say, and she could stop herself from laughing, nodding when she realized he had a point.
"I can't really find fault in your logic, babe."
They began to look for their clothing, and after they had finally located all of it and were at least somewhat presentable, Jed moved to lay in Abbey's bed, holding out his arms as he gave her a smile.
"Come here."
Abbey sat down on the end of her bed, crawling up the mattress and carefully positioning her body between his legs, letting her head rest on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her securely in place.
"Have I told you lately just how much I love you?" he murmured into her hair.
"Hm…remind me. I seem to have forgotten and you do have such a way with words."
"No matter which life I lived, no matter what year, what religion, what continent, I would find you and choose to spend eternity with you, even if it meant burning in hell," he whispered seriously, "I would do anything, give anything, be anything for you, and I would do it gladly, because I've never loved anyone the way I love you."
Abbey felt her eyes burning as she turned just enough to look at him, and she leaned closer, kissing him gently, thankful that he hadn't noticed her tears, laying her head back down to avoid them falling.
"You should be a writer, Jed," she said seriously, "I've never known anyone who speaks as beautifully as you. You basically said everything I wanted to but didn't know how. I know it's not as eloquent, but I love you so much that it scares me."
He frowned.
"Scares you? Why?"
"Because I think about what would happen if I lost you, for whatever reason. If you left, well…I think I could handle that eventually, but if it was something else…a world without you isn't a world that I want any part of. The idea of existing without you terrifies me, and I know we're just two college kids who don't know anything, but I know it would kill me to lose you."
"Hey, we're not just two college kids," he said with a smile, "We're two extremely smart college kids and we're going to change the world, babe. Just wait and see. And for what it's worth, you're never going to lose me. I told you, even if I die, I'm going to haunt you. You'll never be able to escape me."
Abbey laughed, taking comfort in the sound of his heartbeat, and she shook her head slowly.
"If anyone else had said that, I'd have to call the authorities."
"Yeah, but you love me, so it's fine."
Jed closed his eyes, running his fingers through her hair, breathing in the scent of her perfume, and he knew, for as long as he lived, he would associate the smell of vanilla with Abigail Barrington.
"Jed?"
Her voice was soft, almost as though she were on the verge of sleep, and he smiled, keeping his eyes closed.
"Hm?"
"Do you really think you'll love me until the day I die?"
He shook his head.
"No. Much longer than that, Abbey. So much longer."
The loud crash at the door made them both jump, shattering the moment, and when he heard Millie's indignant shout from the hallway, he opened his eyes slowly.
"What the hell?! Abbey, I can't get the door open!"
"Shit," Abbey whispered, glancing at him as she jumped up from the bed, "We forgot to move her bed back where it belongs."
Jed burst out laughing, moving quickly to help her move the bed, and as they tugged it across the floor, he smirked as he heard Millie's voice again.
"Abigail Ann Barrington, what the hell did you do to our room?"
"Hold on a damn minute, Millie," Abbey muttered.
When they had finally finished pushing the bed back to its proper place, Abbey opened the door, offering her friend a light smile, as though she hadn't just locked her out of their room.
"What's with all the yelling?"
"What did you do, put a dead body up against the door?"
"Kept you from interrupting us, didn't it?" Abbey quipped.
"Wait—you did this just so you could—I swear, Abbey, just get a hotel room the next time you two want to fornicate like rabbits."
Abbey laughed as Jed swept her up into his arms, her hand locking around his neck as she kissed him.
"We don't have that kind of money, Mills."
"I'll start a donation jar," Millie said dryly, "I'll stand outside just like the Salvation Army if I have to."
"You know, Millie…Jeremy's single right now…might be worth looking into if you're so jealous," Jed said lightly, still holding Abbey in his arms.
"No, thank you," Millie muttered, rolling her eyes.
"Suit yourself," he replied.
He carried Abbey back to her bed, tossing her onto the mattress, and as her bright laughter filled the room, Jed realized, with an extreme and sudden clarity, that he had never been happier in his entire life.
A/N: Poor Millie...all she wanted was to sleep in her room.