Conversation 2 - Lizzy and Mr. Bennet
"Lizzy, I understand that you just had an enlightening conversation with your mother."
"Yes. She asked for my thoughts and I gave them to her," she responded.
"Well," said her father, "perhaps you would like to give me your thoughts about me as well." Lizzy was initially not inclined to give him a brutally honest answer as she did with her mother, until she saw the smirk on his face. Thus, her courage rose and she decided that the truth would indeed set her free.
"Very well, father. Since you have made the request, I would be happy to reply. Let us start with my mother. I have no idea why the two of you married, as I can see that you have nothing in common. While it may be true that you saw something in her that drew you to her, your children have seen nothing of the kind. You could have given us a model of felicity to aspire to but you instead insult and denigrate your wife to anyone who would listen, and even those who would prefer not to listen. You know, I believe that at times you actually enjoy her vulgarities as it gives you something to mock and laugh at. "
"You ignore your children as much as you can. You demand that I run Longbourn, you see that Jane is practically chained to her mother listening to her laments, that Mary is ignored, and that Kitty is quickly following Lydia into almost certain ruination. I almost think that you want Lydia to ruin herself so that the entire town will shun us, thus relieving you of any social obligations. Of course, your entire family would be surrounding you in this house, so the noise level would not decrease too much, if that is indeed your plan."
"I also wonder if you deliberately vex my mother so that her fits of nerves and her worry over the future will lead her to an early grave, and then you can laugh about that, too."
Mr. Bennet looked slightly affronted at this statement, but did not stop Lizzy, so she continued.
"At one time, I thought you loved me and enjoyed my company, because you encouraged me to learn, you taught me to read, to enjoy math and I loved spending time with you, reading together and discussing all manner of topics. But, I later realized your selfish motive. You wanted me to learn enough to run Longbourn. And I did as I have been running it for the last seven years. And you were so sly about it. It started with you asking my opinion about estate matters. And then asking me to check over your accounting figures. I was so proud that you were seeking my assistance. I thought that you valued me. But I have since come to realize that you just wanted an unpaid steward. And that is what you now have. I am up half the night reading, writing letters, reconciling accounts and a hundred other details. And I do that because you command my time during the day to play chess, have discussions, and dance attendance on you much as Jane does to our mother, as you insist that I make myself available so that you can fill in your time doing the things that you enjoy. Maybe that is also part of your grand scheme, that I work myself into an early grave, so that you can laugh about that, as well."
"I have been keeping Longbourn's books for the past seven years so, to the best of my knowledge, no money has been added to any type of savings, for dowries or living expenses after you are no longer here. As I told my mother, she could have made significant savings over the last twenty years by being thrifty. You could have done the same. But, your books mean more to you than your family does. You know, the Bible says that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. And you speak more of your books than you do of your family and you spend more time with your books than you do with your family. It is not hard to draw the conclusion that you care more for them than for us. While that thought initially led me to a sense of great sadness, the silver lining is that I know exactly where I stand with you and what I can expect from you. Nothing. I suppose that the greatest gift you have given me is that of self-reliance. I know that my future, such as it is, will be what I make of it with little to no assistance from you."
"I realize that this may sound harsh, but the world can be a harsh place to live when one cannot count on their family for any type of support, either physically or emotionally. So, if I will thank you for anything, it would be for that."
Without looking at her father to see his reaction, Elizabeth turned and left his study, again with a lighter footstep and a lighter heart, all the while thinking that while she was on a roll, maybe she should talk to her sisters as well.