Act 4: Shattered
After what seemed to be another uneventful weekend, the students were left with nothing to do but the student council surely had the paperwork to get done. For some of the students, the boredom was on their nerves but at least the exams were over. For some students they had themselves and their books for others, their tests weren't complete as of yet.
Monday seemed to go like any other day for Lenny. Running in the morning, hanging out with friends and then in the afternoon doing whatever. Since the classrooms were mostly off limits, the only source of entertainment was outside the school grounds. Emi meanwhile was dealing with her own problems. There was something coming up that she didn't want to tell Lenny and he agreed with her about it. That day was fast approaching and Emi was mostly keeping to herself with the prize she had won from Friday's event. Emi was thankfully alone when she heard her phone ringing, it was Meiko.
Katawa Shoujo- Cold Iron
"Meiko, is there something wrong? I don't know why you're calling me as of now?" Emi began speaking to Meiko about what exactly happened and why she was like this. Meiko, who was on the other side of the phone, decided to speak to her about this.
"Yeah there is, it's not about you, or me. I'm fine. However, I need to tell you this…" Meiko began. She paused as she tried to remember what it was that she said. "Lenny's mother… Lenny's mother has died. She overdosed and they weren't able to save her."
"Oh no, I don't know how he's going to react to that. Every time we bring up a family member his heart goes haywire and I feel powerless to stop it. I hope the good news when it comes to all of this is the fact that he's with us?" Emi explained as she was saddened by this news. She didn't know how Lenny was going to react to this revelation?
"I know, you have to tell him when you get the chance. This isn't a laughing matter either. I hope to see you sometime later this week." Meiko explained.
"Okay." Emi replied to this. Emi didn't know what she was going to do but she needed to bring this up to Lenny and she wasn't ready for his reaction.
Lenny didn't take the news of his mother's death lightly. He didn't find the strength or courage to run with Emi tomorrow morning. Emi tried her very best to comfort Lenny in the best way she could but no such luck. He had truly no one else to go to at this point. Even so, the only other person who was able to get close to him was Hanako and even she didn't provide much to help him. Emi decided to stay with Lenny for the night to make sure he was okay but waking up the next morning, Emi found that Lenny Isn't responding… at all. Panicking, Emi got Lenny down to the Nurse's office to see what was wrong. The Nurse was standing there as he was taking Lenny's vitals.
Katawa Shoujo- Ah Eh I Oh You
"Any problems today?" The Nurse would ask Emi. "Lenny still has his pulse so that's a good thing. He's most likely blacked out and based on the news, he's not doing too well."
"I couldn't push Lenny at all yesterday when it came to this. I got a call from Meiko telling him that his mother was gone and he just broke down into pieces. His heart was going haywire." Emi explained to the Nurse.
"I've seen what grief can do to wreck someone and with a heart condition like Lenny, I can see why he was having such a hard time regarding the whole thing." The Nurse explained to Emi. "His breathing is really off as if he's having a hard time doing so." At the mention of Lenny's name, Emi can't help but frown unhappily in spite of her efforts at control. "Well, now. This is new, don't you think? Last I checked, your usual response to Lenny's name was a grin, not a frown. What exactly happened between you two? Because you don't seem to be in on it, whatever it is. You looked more relaxed than I've seen you in weeks, which is unusual for this time of the year."
"What do you mean by that?" Emi asked the Nurse that she didn't understand what the Nurse was trying to say.
"By what?" The Nurse asked Emi.
""For this time of year." I keep trying to find out what's been bothering Lenny, but I clam up the moment we broach the subject. Then last night, I said…" Emi tried her best to explain to the Nurse about her own failures and how she was finding it difficult to find a middle ground to safely approach this topic together.
"Let me guess. You won't tell him, because you say you can't trust him? And now he's crushed, because you thought that the two of you were so much more than she seems to think, right?" The Nurse would ask Emi if this was true. Emi was ready to pout as if this Nurse was trying to figure out what exactly happened.
"Er, more or less. How the heck did you know?" Emi asked the Nurse. The Nurse seemed to take note of this before he began to speak.
"Emi, I'm the nurse. It's my job to know these things. Plus, I've known you for long enough to know that you'd try to do something like this; it's just like Lenny." The Nurse explained to Emi what exactly was going to happen regarding the whole situation. He says this in the sort of half-affectionate, half-frustrated tone that would seem more appropriate if he had a cigarette dangling from his lips. As it is, he seems willing to make do with a pen. "Look, you mind if I give you some advice?" The Nurse asked Emi. What was it Mutou said to Lenny? If you can't observe the thing, then observe what's around it? Worth a shot. The nurse knows Emi better than Lenny does, he'll have to wager.
"Sure, I'm open to suggestions. Honestly, I'm kind of lost. I've got no idea how to deal with this." Emi explained to the Nurse that she would most likely need the help.
"I never would have guessed." The Nurse began. He grins while he says this. Emi thinks he's kidding. Look, here's the deal: Lenny is... frightened, afraid of losing something or rather someone important. You should know that by now, and if you don't then you're pretty unobservant, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here."
"I'm so grateful." Emi explained to the Nurse.
"Anyway, if neither one of you has decided that you don't want to talk about what happened, then neither one of you is not going to talk about what's happened. Has Meiko said anything about what's been bothering Lenny? Even a hint?" The Nurse would ask Emi if this was going to be the case regarding Lenny's condition and how she could approach it.
"Well, he did say he's been having nightmares about it and his heart going haywire about his mother..." Emi explained to the Nurse before he cut her off.
"Really? You're making progress, then. That's good. Well, I guess I can fill you in on this without violating my strict non-interference policy when it comes to you making stupid decisions. The anniversary of your accident is coming up soon. you get depressed around this time, because it was a pretty traumatic event, considering what you lost. How do you think it affects Lenny?" The Nurse asked Emi what she felt about these events and how this was affecting the person she was dating.
"That's the other thing. I acted like I lost more than just my legs. What happened to Lenny, did he lose something like his legs too?" Emi asked the Nurse if this was going to be the case. To the Nurse, he looked at Emi realizing this was something he wasn't willing to cross into.
"Whoa! Nope, not going there. You'll have to ask someone else about that, because that's a whole can of worms I'm not about to open. If Lenny wants you to know, he'll tell you in his own time. You've just got to be patient, that's all. That means he'll have to be patient with you." The Nurse explained to Emi. Emi was confused about the Nurse.
"Why are you even helping me with all this?" Emi asked the Nurse why he was helping her with this type of stuff. The nurse gave a frown.
"Because you're good for him. Lenny trusts you, even if you don't think he does. And you've got the best chance out of anyone at this school right now to help him through this time of year. I don't think he won't accept my help, but Lenny might accept yours if you don't screw it up. So don't screw it up, got it?" The Nurse explained to Emi that she had the best chance of helping Lenny get through this despite her own issues. Emi opens her mouth to respond but Lenny sat up almost as if he was awake. He felt groggy and didn't know where he was.
"Hey, are you guys still in there?" Lenny asked the Nurse and Emi. They looked at Lenny curiously to see him up.
"Just a moment, Lenny. Give us a second to get our pants back on." The Nurse explained to Lenny about the situation. "You weren't responding and you were brought down here. You're still alive so that's a relief." Emi looked at the Nurse giving a glare that seemed to be knives.
"Asshole." Emi told the Nurse about what happened.
"Didn't mean to get your hopes up." The Nurse told Emi that he didn't mean to get her hopeful.
"Hey, can we... leave me out of this? Anyway, what's up, Emi? Forget something?" Lenny asked. He didn't know what he wanted to say to Emi. He was trying to take a more cheerful tone with her. No need to upset her. Two can play the "everything's fine" game.
"Actually, I forgot to ask you something." Emi told Lenny that she needed something specific from him.
"Oh? What's that?" Lenny asked Emi what she needed from him. Emi smiled before she began to explain what she wanted to do.
"Do you wanna come with me on a trip to my house? My mom's making dinner, and I thought you might want to join us. She's invited us due to the fact that she wanted to speak to you." Emi explained to Lenny that he should come to her house to have dinner but moreover have a conversation regarding what was going to happen. The Nurse smiled at this.
"Well, of course I accept." The Nurse told Emi he was willing to come over for the visit. Emi punches the nurse in the arm playfully.
"Not you, idiot. You were over last week. I was talking to Lenny." Emi explained to the Nurse. The Nurse seemed to get excited about this.
"Oh? How interesting! Meeting the parent!" The Nurse told Emi with excitement. Lenny had to figure out but if it meant putting on a mask to hide his true feelings, he knew he had to go.
"I'd love to go, Emi. Thanks." Lenny told Emi that he would like to go but this was moreover a meeting where he had to be involved. The nurse raises an eyebrow, but says nothing.
"Great! I'll be in my room, swing by after you shower and change into something clean and we'll grab the bus!" Emi explained where she was going to be in her room beforehand and that she'll get herself clean.
"Sounds good. I'll see you in a bit!" Lenny explained while trying to force a smile. On the outside, he seemed very happy about this but deep down, he wasn't well, at all and he was worried about screwing the entire thing up and his botched heart was the wrench in this mess. This time it's Emi who leans in for a quick kiss before darting off to her room. What an interesting development. Maybe they're getting closer after all. Maybe they're finally ready to open up a little. Or maybe she's just being polite, and a free meal seems like a good way to apologize for last night. Great. Now Lenny can't decide whether to be excited, nervous, or depressed. He had to settle for a combination of all three and hop in the shower.
Lenny doesn't think he likes riding on buses. Actually, he thinks he's pretty comfortable saying that as a fact. They sway a lot, and they smell funny, and you can feel every bump in the road. Lenny was really not looking forward to this. Plus Emi's legs keep making a clanking noise that draws the attention of everyone else on the bus. She's in shorts again, and she's got long socks drawn up on her prosthetics so they don't look so obviously false again. But that doesn't stop the odd look or two every time her legs bump together with an audible clunk. Lenny had to shift nervously in my seat, and Emi raises an eyebrow questioningly. She doesn't seem to mind the stares; either that or she doesn't even notice that people are staring. Lenny was sure she's gotten her fill of odd looks before. After a certain amount of time, Lenny doubts she'd notice any more. Not that she'd ever tell me if he asked. Another fact is, He's not just uncomfortable about the bus. Lenny can't seem to come to terms with the fact that Emi appears to be trying to bring him closer while at the same time pushing him away.
The nurse said she trusts Lenny, even if it doesn't look like it. But he's not sure he can trust the nurse. He's protective of Emi, just like Emi protective of Lenny, and she;s be likely to say something to make him look good if someone asked him about her. So he might just be doing that. Still, there was something about the way he seemed genuinely surprised that Emi invited me along... Maybe last night's talk helped more than Lenny could think, but he's still worried.
Meeting the parents is a big deal, right? Not that he hasn't already met Emi's mother, but that was just as an acquaintance. Now it's going to be Emi's boyfriend, with everything that implies. Lenny can feel his heart pounding in his chest, an echo of that snow-covered afternoon that feels like it was so long ago that it might as well be another life entirely. Except then, Lenny didn't know what was going on; He also didn't have medication to help prevent things spiraling out of control. Lenny felt like he had come a long way in terms of his physical health, and for the second time today he felt like he's not able to live normally now, or at least as normally as possible. Now if only he could manage his relationship as well as he had tried to manage his heart, he'd be in great shape.
Katawa Shoujo- Air Guitar
"Well, we're here." Emi explained to Lenny while they got off the bus. Lenny was thankful about not being on that bus. Lenny wasn't able to catch his breath as Emi grabs his hand and she starts heading down the street almost immediately. "Come on, we've got a couple blocks until my place." Emi explained to Lenny that her house wasn't that far and she was going to enjoy every step of the way to get there. Lenny was lost and didn't know where he was going so he was following Emi.
"What? Oh, okay." Lenny explained to Emi. Lenny follows Emi down the street, watching her confident stride. She's setting kind of a quick pace for just a walk. Lenny could guess she's anxious to get there. "So does your mom do this sort of thing often?" Lenny asked Emi if this was something she usually does.
"Nah, not too frequently. Mom's never been much for playing hostess." Emi explained to Lenny that her mother doesn't do this often.
"Oh yeah?" Lenny asked curiously. He seemed to be curious about what Meiko might have done to get them to come over.
"Yeah, my dad was always the one pushing her to have people over." Emi explained to Lenny about her father again. This sudden and unprompted reference to her father catches Lenny off guard. And from the look on Emi's face, he was not sure she meant to mention him. Lenny would like to think he's only ever heard her talk about him once. All he could remember is that Emi's mom told me that he wasn't around any more. Of course this was going to hurt Lenny a bit reflecting on his own parents.
"Oh? Your mom prefers solitude?" Lenny asked, he was trying his best to lighten the mood and not succeeding. Emi laughs, either from relief that Lenny didn't ask about her father or from finding his statement actually funny.
"Not at all! She's why I'm such an outgoing person, you know. She just prefers to be a guest rather than a hostess; it's less stressful that way, or so she says." Emi explained as a smile came back onto her face. Lenny tried his best to figure out what Emi had said.
"Clearly she's never had to meet her girlfriend's mother for dinner." Lenny explained to Emi that Meiko would haven't met someone like him before. Emi giggles again and speaks in a teasing tone.
"Nervous, Lenny? You shouldn't be, you know! It's not that big a deal! Just dinner at my house, that's all!" Emi tried her best to explain to Lenny that there was nothing to get worked up over. For Lenny however, this was something he wanted to ask despite a part of him not wanting to figure out about this.
"Yeah, but have you ever brought home a boyfriend before?" Lenny asked Emi if this was something she had done before. Lenny had to confess that part of him dreads hearing the answer to this. He knew very little of Emi's past relationships and he didn't even know if there were past relationships.
"No, I guess I haven't. Hey, maybe this really is kind of a big deal after all..." Emi told Lenny that this could be kind of serious now. Oh good, now Lenny felt twice as nervous. Though to tell the truth, he's pretty happy to hear that he's the first one. Maybe they've got something special after all. Bolstered by this new thought, Lenny had managed to calm down considerably by the time Emi knocked on her front door.
"Hey, mom, open up! We're here!" Emi called out as her fist pounded the door. The door swings open, and Mrs. Ibarazaki stands grinning at her daughter. The grin is still surprisingly similar to Emi's. Lenny had to admit that he's never going to get used to that.
"You know, people normally wait for a few minutes before they start shouting at the door." Meiko expressed to Emi that they were normally going to be waiting for a few minutes to get ready before knocking on the door.
"And most mothers say hello to their daughters instead of scolding them right away." Emi teased Meiko that this was something she needed to get used to. Meiko gave another warm smile before she remembered:
Katawa Shoujo- Everyday Fantasy
"Ah, of course. Welcome home, dear. I've missed you." Meiko told Emi before she wrapped her arms around Emi. An affectionate hug later we're inside, and it is only then that Emi's mom seems to remember that Lenny was actually here.
"And hello to you too, Lenny. How are you?" Meiko asked Lenny how he was doing when it came to this.
"I'm not well, thank you. Nice to not have school to worry about for a little bit. The news that Emi told me has kind of slapped me in the face. I didn't even get to say goodbye." Lenny expressed as his mood dampened a bit. Meiko looked at him while trying to figure out what to say.
"I'm so sorry that happened. I was told by the doctor then I called Emi about it as she was the only person close enough to tell you. Come here, you have a place with us now." Meiko told Lenny before giving him a hug to comfort him when it came to this. Meiko released Lenny as she remembered something. "Ah yes, you've finished up your exams, haven't you? That must be quite a relief for you both."
"It's certainly a weight off of my mind, that's for sure." Lenny expressed to Meiko that exams were over but why did it have to take so long to grade all of their tests. Emi spoke next.
"Mine too! I think I slept well for the first time in weeks last week from relief alone." Emi expressed to Meiko that she had been sleeping better. If this news is a surprise to Emi's mother, she doesn't show it. Still, her response betrays a note of interest.
"Is that so? I'm very glad to hear that, Emi. You know I get worried when you get all wound up about... well, exams." Meiko told this to Emi that she was glad enough to tell her daughter about this. Certainly Emi's mother knows something Lenny doesn't or rather, she doesn't know that Emi's told him about the nightmares. It's interesting, being able to observe how Mrs. Ibarazaki covers for Emi. That protective instinct to make sure that Lenny doesn't know any more than Emi's willing to tell him.
Lenny could suppose Emi's got more in common with quarks than he could have ever realized. Moves around fast, impossible to understand through direct observation, yet she has an effect on everyone she encounters. Lenny began to wonder if Mrs. Ibarazaki will figure out that he knew about the nightmares, or is she just keeping everything secret from everybody? They walk inside as Emi begins to speak again to Meiko.
"Yeah, it's not been as bad this year as in the past; Lenny helped me to stay focused." Emi told this to Meiko while Lenny watched from a distance. Okay, Lenny had to admit that's not true. She even cut off contact outside of school hours during exam week! But... she did see me during the day. And she told Lenny more than once that the morning run was the only thing she looked forward to during exams, so maybe it's not that much of a lie. Either way, to hear that being around has helped even a little makes Lenny feel a bit better. Emi's mother raises an eyebrow at this statement. Either she doesn't believe Emi, or she's as surprised as Lenny was.
"Well, then it appears that it's a good thing you two have become so close. I'd tell you to take good care of my daughter, Lenny, but it looks like you're already doing that." Meiko expressed how grateful she was of this going on when it comes to taking care of someone else. The reality seemed to be more of the opposite with Emi being the one to take care of Lenny. Emi grins at this and seems to take pride in my having managed to ingratiate himself with her mother so easily.
"Actually, I'd say your daughter's been the one taking care of me. She's gotten me out and running. I've probably been more active since meeting her than I ever was, even before…" Lenny tried to admit this to Meiko but to him, he's actually never thought of it that much, nor had he ever appreciated the humor in it. Lenny wasn't too active before the heart attack. Pickup of outside games wherever they were found, don't really count since they weren't that common. So now that Lenny knows for sure that he could still have a weak heart, now he runs every day, pushing his luck with the help of his medication. He gives a chuckle quietly, then realizes that he's never finished his sentence. "Well, before I had my heart attack and wound up at school here." Lenny tried to finish his sentence to Meiko. It comes out so casually. There was a time that he would have thought twice about talking about what was wrong with me at all. But now? Now it just seems silly to care, especially in the company of Emi and her mother. If Emi can be cavalier about her disability, then so can Lenny. He began to think back to the track meet, where Emi declared herself the fastest thing on no legs. The fact of her obvious loss has never seemed to bother her, at least not in public. Being stuck in the wheelchair frustrated her, he knew. But even that was something she dealt with on her own, despite his efforts to the contrary.
"Emi has a way of bringing out the more active side in people. I've never quite figured out how she does it." Meiko told Lenny about this while helping him in the house. "I've yet to figure out where you want to sleep as I'm trying to find a spare room for you." Those puppy dog eyes she gets, for starters. Lenny thought in his head to think about Emi
"I'm not surprised that she managed to rope you into an exercise routine. If Rin weren't just as stubborn as she is, I'm sure that Emi would have gotten her out and running with you too." Meiko explained as they stood there while Meiko was getting dinner ready.
"Oh, that reminds me! Rin says hello." Emi expressed with excitement regarding the whole situation with her friend. Lenny began to drift to the outer edges of the conversation again as they move into the dining room to eat. It smells delicious in here, and the spread that Emi's mom has produced is impressive. "Woah, you've made enough to feed an army in here!"
"Is it too much? Well, you can always take some leftovers with you when you go." Meiko told Emi and Lenny if they weren't able to eat it all, might as well take some back with them to use for extra food for the rest of the week. Emi nodded with excitement.
"That sounds great! I can only handle cafeteria food for so long. Something home-cooked would be a welcome change of pace." Lenny told Meiko that he would be more than happy to take some of the food back for Meiko if that was the trade off.
"What he said. Thanks, mom." Emi told her mother that she was more than thankful for the food. Lenny was eating his share that he took. The food tastes as good as it smells, and there's a lull in the conversation while they all dig in. Emi assaults her plate with the usual amount of gusto, and Lenny will admit that he set a pretty slow pace himself. Meiko was watching them before she tried to begin on a conversation topic, she didn't want to bring up Lenny's family but rather she settled on his relationship with Emi.
"So Lenny, I hear that you and my daughter here have gotten rather close, hmm?" Meiko began with a curious question. Lenny looked at Meiko. The urge to say something like "Not really" is so strong that Lenny decided to open his mouth to say it, but then reassert control. They are close, there's no getting around it. Lenny meant that Emi's brought him here, hasn't she? Fortunately, both Emi and her mother seem to take his reaction as a sign that he's caught off guard rather than considering saying something cruel.
"Heh, I suppose we have. I blame the morning runs, myself." Lenny explained to them thinking that the runs were the thing he was going to blame himself over.
"You make it sound like a bad thing, Lenny." Emi teased Lenny that he always thought this was a bad thing to worry about over. Lenny sighed as Meiko spoke.
"Well, I for one found it a relief." Meiko explained to Emi. This was one thing she seemed to find good.
"Why's that?" Lenny asked curiously.
"Emi's always been a popular girl, but never made many close friends." Meiko gave her reply. This is a bit of news to Lenny. he's always seen Emi chatting with her classmates in the hallways. And certainly the whole track team seems to love her, but it is true that she chooses to isolate herself during lunch with Rin, Hisao, his friends and Lenny. Not exactly the sort of behavior one expects from a popular girl, after all. Then again, he's experienced her unwillingness to get close firsthand, so he can't say he's that surprised. "I was beginning to have my doubts." Emi rolls her eyes to the ceiling and grumbles something Lenny can't quite make out.
"Huh?"
"What?"
Katawa Shoujo- Generic Music
They had both said something at the same time, Lenny was curious about what Emi had said.
"What's that you just said?" Lenny asked Emi if this was going to be something.
"Nothing." Emi replied. She didn't know what Lenny was going to be able to say about this. Mrs. Ibarazaki chokes on her drink with laughter.
"You've been hanging out with the nurse too long, Emi. I'm going to have to talk to him about corrupting my daughter." Meiko told the group that this was something she would want to talk about with Emi's friend. Meiko found this to be a bit funny before Lenny began to speak up/
"Somehow I don't think that would be very effective." Lenny added that the Nurse would try to find other ways to corrupt Emi.
"I learned most of it from you anyway. Not the nurse." Emi told Lenny that she picked up this behavior on him. Meiko interjected as Lenny felt his heart race a bit.
"Don't listen to her, Lenny. She's a born liar." Meiko explained to Lenny that this was something that seemed to come natural to Emi.
"Hmph. Yeah right." Emi explained to Lenny that this was something she was going to pick up on.
"Oh, I don't know, Emi. I think your mother has a point." Lenny gave his point that he wasn't picking sides to all of this. Emi felt annoyed at Lenny not backing her up.
"What? You traitor! You're supposed to take my side in this!" Emi explained to Lenny that she wanted him to help her not fight her.
"Yeah, but you did lie about your leg after the meet—" Lenny tried his best to explain this to Emi about the time she lied about her leg. This earned Lenny a kick in the shins from an unmistakably plastic foot that cuts him off mid-sentence, but not before Mrs. Ibarazaki's eyebrows shoot upwards.
"What about your leg?" Meiko asked Emi about what Lenny had said. Lenny was still wincing from the kick as that was kind of painful.
"It wasn't a big deal, that's all... I just was, er, inawheelchairforabit." Emi explained as she tried to shove the last part of the sentence out. The last few mumbled words are quickly deciphered by Emi's mother - Lenny had to suspect she has experience with this sort of thing - and a worried frown appears on her face.
"So that's why he kept dodging my calls... Oh Emi... I know how much you hate being in a wheelchair. No wonder you've been in such a mood lately!" Meiko explained how much sympathy she had for her daughter when it came to what she had to go through. For Lenny, he decided to chip in.
"Yeah, she's much happier on her feet, so to speak." Lenny mentioned to Meiko, he sounded a bit uneasy when he explained this to Meiko about her daughter. Meiko looked at him while Emi was taking more food for herself.
"Well of course! She spent enough time in a chair just after the accident." Meiko explained to Lenny that Emi wasn't moving around very much when she had the accident. This left Lenny with more questions than answers he could account for.
"She didn't get prosthetics immediately?" Lenny asked in a rather slow manner for Meiko. He was confused about trying to push the pieces of the puzzle together.
"No, she had to finish healing up before they'd let her start the sort of therapy you've got to go through to adjust to those things. Especially since she wanted to run on them." Meiko explained. To Lenny, this was making sense. To Emi however, she was starting to get rather uncomfortable.
"I had no idea." Lenny replied to Meiko's explanation. To Emi, she had to add into the conversation. She needed to steer them off topic and try shifting the conversation to something else.
"Yeah, it sucked. Oh, did you see Rin's mural at the festival?" Emi began. She then asked Meiko about the mural to the festival, did Meiko see it. Emi's sudden change of topic makes Lenny realize belatedly that she's been fidgeting the whole time her mother and him have been talking. Lenny should have figured on her being a little skittish when it comes to talking about the accident. Even around her mother.
"No, I didn't make it out to the festival, remember? Although I caught a glimpse of it at your track meet. It seemed pretty weird to me." Meiko explained to Emi. Emi nodded before she continued to speak.
"I think that's more or less what she was going for. She talked a lot about it being dreamlike. Or trying to make it dreamlike." Emi explained, it was clear she was trying her best to hide something when it came to the whole conversation. This wasn't something Emi was known for if it meant trying to mislead people.
"Rin's art is one of those things I don't think I'll ever understand." Meiko would tell her daughter this was something that wasn't going to be able to be made out and find any deeper meaning to. Emi wasn't amused by what Meiko had said.
"That's not surprising. I don't think Rin expects to be understood. She told me once that art allows people to understand stuff they wouldn't understand otherwise, but all the same she doesn't think it actually works that way." Emi explained to Meiko. Emi was still trying to hide something and Lenny's surprised that Emi's talked about this with Rin extensively enough to actually have Rin's opinion, such as it is. Although he expects that Rin could not, if she were so inclined, say the same thing about Emi's. Unless, of course, Emi is purposely keeping me in the dark about everything; which is likely, but unpleasant to think about. Lenny began to drift down this unpleasant train of thought for a while, losing track of the conversation.
"Hey Emi, I've been meaning to ask..." Meiko asked Emi while attempting to get the conversation back on track.
"Huh?" Emi asked Meiko. She had gotten her attention from her.
"Are you going to visit your father this year?" Meiko asked Emi. The room fell silent as Lenny tried to process what Meiko had just said. Was Emi going to visit her dad? Lenny didn't know exactly as he felt his heart beating faster, it wasn't good to mention this to someone when he knew both of his parents were gone. From the way she says it, you'd think Emi's mother was talking about the weather. From the way Emi reacts, it's clearly not the weather they're talking about. She flinches, a slight jerk of the head backwards as if she's just been slapped in the face. Emi looked at Lenny who felt uncomfortable before she turned to Meiko.
"Can we talk about this later?" Emi asked Meiko if they should talk about the topic of the grave visit later? Her voice sounds brittle, strained. It looks as if she's been severely shaken by the question. It seems that Mrs. Ibarazaki misjudged just how close Emi and Lenny are. Some things, it seems, are best not conversed about with him around. Her father is one of these things. The accident that took her legs is probably another one of those things, if her reaction to the earlier conversation between her mother and myself is any indication. It doesn't take Emi's mother long to realize she's screwed up.
"Of course we can, dear. I'm sorry to bring it up, I just wanted to ask so I could make plans—" Meiko tried her best to explain to Emi that she was willing to accommodate her before Emi cuts her off with the conversation.
"It's fine. Don't worry about it." Emi replied. Emi fidgets nervously, as if embarrassed by her own reaction. Lenny had to confess that her reaction is confusing. She only just mentioned her father to him earlier today! Less than a few hours ago, even! Why does a simple question about when she'll visit her father cause such a strong reaction? Unless whatever serenity she claimed to have reached by means of our talk the previous evening has suddenly evaporated. Or it didn't help as much as she thought. Or claimed. "I'll uh, be right back. Gotta visit the little girl's room." Emi gets up suddenly and leaves the table, leaving Lenny and Mrs. Ibarazaki alone. He's a little conflicted. Should he go after her, or should he stay here? It's obvious that Emi's departure was not based on the call of nature. Something's bothering her, and does he have to know what it is. How to go about it? Lenny remembered what Yuuko had told him the weekend before this one. If Emi was having an issue, it was best to leave her alone and let her cool off until she was ready to confront the issue. This caused Lenny to stay with Meiko. There's an awkward silence at the table for a while after Emi dashes off. Lenny can't think of anything to say. Emi's mother sighs, breaking the silence.
Katawa Shoujo- Breathlessly
"Sorry about that, Lenny. I sometimes forget that Emi's touchy about certain subjects. And I was talking about the wheelchair thing, too..." Meiko apologized to Lenny that Emi was skittish when it came to issues like this.
"Should I go after her?" Lenny asked Meiko if going after her was going to be the wise decision. Meiko looked at Lenny thinking that would be foolish.
"Heavens no! She didn't leave the table to continue the conversation, you know." Meiko explained to Lenny that him leaving the table to go talk to Emi about what was going to happen was going to be a bad idea.
"But if she's troubled, shouldn't someone help her?" Lenny asked Meiko if helping Emi was going to be a good idea for her. Meiko on the other hand didn't want to see where this was going to go.
"If it were anyone else, I'd say yes. But my daughter is stubborn as a mule, and if she wants to be alone it's best to let her be alone. Otherwise she'll probably say something she'd regret, which would cause you to say something you'd regret, and I would prefer that dinner doesn't end with one or the both of you storming out of the house. If that were to happen I'd be a terrible hostess, wouldn't I? I've already acted as a fool once today." Meiko explained to Lenny that Emi was stubborn and helping her was going to be the last thing anybody wanted to do.
"That's okay, I shouldn't have brought up the wheelchair, apparently." Lenny explained, feeling some regret in his voice, maybe it wasn't the best thing he shouldn't have done. He felt his heart beat faster because of it. Mrs. Ibarazaki frowns, clearly more bothered by Emi's omission than she'd let on.
"I wish she wouldn't do that. It just makes me worry more, you know." Meiko explained to Lenny what she had done and what she was going through to make her regret the said decision.
"She does this often?" Lenny asked. He was puzzled about what Meiko was talking about and this was going to be about Emi. Meiko began speaking again.
"What, running off to the bathroom? No, I can't say she does. Keep injuries from her mother, though? Well, that's a little more common. Every time I catch her lying like that, she assures me that the only reason she didn't tell me is because it wasn't a big deal." Meiko explained to Lenny that Emi was known for hiding her condition if it meant not getting any unnecessary attention to herself.
"If it's any consolation, I'm sure the only reason I knew about it at all was because I saw her every day." Lenny explained to Meiko that this was the only way of getting to know her injuries regarding what she did with them. This elicits a dry chuckle from across the table. Mrs. Ibarazaki sighs, a little sadly.
"Still hesitant about getting close to people, huh? I keep hoping that she'll get over that. It's funny, really. She's bounced back so well from the accident in so many ways... I guess some things never really go away." Meiko explained to Lenny that some things regarding what Emi was capable of getting rid of were going to be hard. From the looks of it, the whole thing still bothers her, too. She seems to be a little more willing to talk about the accident without Emi around, though. Lenny needed to ask Meiko something.
"Hey, I've got a question, if it's all right." Lenny began speaking to Meiko.
"Oh?" Meiko replied to Lenny, she wasn't sure about how to handle this.
"What else did Emi lose in that accident? The nurse said that she gets this way near the anniversary, and she won't talk about it to me..." Lenny asked. Meiko was curious if Lenny needed to know about the truth of the whole situation regarding the accident.
"So you thought I'd fill you in, hmm?" Meiko asked Lenny if she was willing to give the details.
"Er, yeah. Hopefully." Lenny explained to Meiko, he thought this was going to be helpful if it meant piecing together Emi's issue and potentially his own.
"Well, there's a problem with that request, you know." Meiko began. She wanted to explain to Lenny about this. Lenny wanted to fix everything that had gone wrong and decided to press the issue.
"Let me guess: you promised Emi that you wouldn't tell anyone she didn't want to know, and you don't know if she wants me to know?" Lenny asked Meiko if this was going to be true. Meiko looked at Lenny and began speaking.
"Something like that. I promised Emi that she'd be the one to tell people the full story." Meiko explained to Lenny that Emi was the only person who was capable of filling in the gaps.
"But isn't that important? I mean, it's clearly had a huge effect on her if she's still like this so long after the accident happened." Lenny tried his best to explain to Meiko. Meiko paused before she lets out a sigh
"That's true. It did have a long-lasting effect on her. There are a few things that she'll probably never really get over." Meiko explained to Lenny about the accident that Emi had. For a moment Mrs. Ibarazaki looks incredibly saddened, as if an old wound is bothering her. "I suppose there are a few things I'll never really get over either..." Another dry chuckle, and with a shake of her head Emi's mother banishes the memory. "Look, there's something you absolutely must understand about the way Emi thinks about the accident."
"What's that?" Lenny asked.
Katawa Shoujo- Shadow of the Truth
"It wasn't a big deal." Meiko explained to Lenny. Lenny felt his heart shatter with those five words. How wasn't this a big deal? This was going against whoever said this. To Emi it was a big deal and to Lenny it was catastrophic. With both of his parents gone and for Meiko to say these words, this sped up Lenny's heart. Somehow Lenny manages to keep his mouth from falling open in surprise, but it takes some effort. That has to be the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard.
"I beg your pardon?" Lenny explained to Meiko thinking this was something he wasn't going to take and accept/ Meiko knew she messed up and needed an explanation.
"Okay, maybe it's not that simple, but it's a pretty accurate summation. Emi believes that the accident did not define her, and that everything she lost that day didn't define her either. She's not "that girl who lost her legs," she's "The Fastest Thing on No Legs." Her optimism and energy came out of that wreck without a scratch, as far as she's concerned."
"Yet it goes beyond that, doesn't it? I mean, last night she told me that she'll refuse to rely on me because it would make losing me too painful. Losing my mother was painful enough. Now I don't want to lose Emi too." Lenny tried to explain. He was starting to sound like not his true self. He felt like his vocal cords were slowly starting to get stretched apart. Meiko began to think about it for a moment.
"Not really. You said she won't tell you about the accident, even though you've asked her about it before. The reason she won't talk about it when you ask is because to her it's not something you absolutely need to know. Even if she wasn't terrified of getting too close to anyone, she still wouldn't talk about it." Meiko explained to Lenny that Emi was the type of person who wasn't going to let anyone close to her if she was going to keep it a secret. This raises more questions.
"She's afraid of being close to me?" Lenny asked Meiko.
"Oh goodness me, yes. For all that talk about being unscathed by the accident, she's gained the ugly knowledge of how quickly it can all be over. So she's not going to let people get especially close to her, and she certainly would resent any implication that she cannot work through this on her own." Meiko explained that Emi would take the path of the least resistance if it meant keeping people at a distance.
"But I don't think she can." Lenny tried his best to explain though his voice was starting to become strained from speaking.
"Oh no? Are you sure you've been dating my daughter and not somebody else? Trust me, Lenny, she could get through it on her own." Meiko explained to Lenny that Emi was going to sort this stuff out herself but to Lenny, this is only half the problem, what about him?
"But she has nightmares, and can't sleep well, and—" Lenny tried to explain to Meiko about this but before he can mention his own problems, Meiko cuts him off.
"And she does this every year. Tell me, if she wasn't able to get through it on her own, do you really think she'd still be alive? She would've killed herself, or something equally melodramatic." Meiko explained to Lenny that this was normal. Lenny felt frustrated that Meiko didn't get the full picture of the situation.
"So what, I shouldn't try to help her?" Lenny asked. To him, Emi was the closest person she had left in his life.
"I didn't say that! I hate seeing my daughter like this, and knowing that she could rely on someone else would let me relax. You just need to understand that accepting help goes against everything Emi thinks about herself and the way the world works. If you still want to offer her help, then I guess that's your call. Honestly, I'd like you to, but it'd be silly not to warn you that it's not going to be easy." Meiko tried to explain to Lenny that trying to help Emi was going to be a difficult climb up the hill, this was something Lenny needed to learn to accept. "You just need to be patient with her. She's already closer to you than anyone else she's ever met at Yamaku."
"Well it sure doesn't feel like we're very close." Lenny explained. He was feeling pale with beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. Emi then walked in with a big smirk on her face.
"Good, that makes this part easier." Emi told Meiko and Lenny. Emi's voice nearly gives Lenny a heart attack. He stood up, almost falling over.
"Whoa! Didn't hear you come back, Emi." Lenny explained to Emi. Emi was pretty angry as it she had been listening in on.
"How convenient." Emi told Lenny that this was probably something she wasn't known to do.
"Wait, were you eavesdropping?" Lenny asked Emi if she had been listening to their conversation the whole time? Emi looked at Lenny as she kept her smirk
"Nope. Just happened to come back at the right moment, I guess." Emi explained to Lenny. Lenny felt his heart beating very quickly as if this was a very distressing moment he was going through and he had no way of stopping it.
"Emi, Lenny was just—" Meiko began talking to Emi as a way of trying to mediate the situation but Emi holds up a finger, cutting her mother off.
"On his way out of the house? Yeah, I know." Emi explained as she was trembling with anger now, looking vaguely betrayed. Lenny was scared of Emi taking her anger out on him which would end the relationship completely.
"Emi, don't be ridiculous, we were just—" Meiko tried her best to explain to Emi that it didn't have to be like that, Emi looked at Meiko as she was angry about the whole thing.
Katawa Shoujo- Caged Heart
"You promised!" Emi told Meiko in her anger. The pain carried in that last word is almost too much for Lenny to bear. The idea that he could hurt her that much is like being kicked in the gut. Emi's mother looks similarly pained by the thought.
"And I kept that promise! Just listen, there's no reason to go throwing people out of the house." Meiko explained to Emi that this wasn't fair to Lenny but also her. Emi's mother seems to be both angry at her daughter's outburst and embarrassed that Lenny is a witness to it. There's only one real solution to this problem, he thought.
"It's okay. I'll leave." Lenny told Meiko that he was pretty upset by this. Meiko looked at Lenny who thought leaving was the best option.
"Now really, that seems a little unnecessary..." Meiko told Lenny that he didn't need to go but to Lenny, he was on his last legs.
"Don't worry about it. Thank you, Mrs. Ibarazaki, and for the advice." Lenny tried to explain before he began to feel himself spinning around. Meiko looked at Lenny and she began speaking.
"It was my pleasure, Lenny. I'm sorry we didn't get to the dessert." Meiko explained that this was a good thing. Lenny tried to speak.
"That's okay. I don't want to make the situation… worse…" Lenny finished his sentence before he felt his body begin shutting itself off. Lenny fell backwards and hits the floor. There was an audible bang as Meiko and Emi looked at Lenny who was now lying unconsciously on the ground. The formality of the conversation before the incident, coupled with the fact that Lenny was getting ready to leave, seems to snap Emi out of her anger. Emi walked up to Lenny as she tried to speak to him in an attempt to apologize.
"No, wait. I'm sorry, I've been so... and after last night I just thought... You don't have to go, I take it back, it's okay—" Emi began as she shook Lenny. Lenny wasn't responding at all. "Lenny?! Speak to me!" Emi cried out. S he can barely articulate her apology, and Lenny really would like to stay... But it looks like neither of them would get their wish, right now. Emi needs to think about what her mother said, and about what they were going to do about us. Lenny doesn't want to risk accidentally getting Emi angry again in her current state, either.
"No, I think I'd better leave. You seem pretty shook up, and, well, I'd only wind up trying to help you again. I know you'd prefer I didn't, so I'm going to leave instead." Meiko explained to Emi that she needed to drop out of the conversation and start getting Emi back to Yamaku. She went over to pick up Lenny's unconscious body as she and Emi carried him back to the car.
"But—" Emi tried her best to speak to Meiko but Meiko seemed to have a bit of anger with Emi about the whole incident.
"Hey, it's not a problem. You don't want a knight on a white charger, right? Just promise me one thing, okay?" Meiko explained to Emi while she got them back into the car.
"What?" Emi asked Meiko
"Don't be angry at me, okay? I was just giving Lenny some advice, that's all." Meiko explained to Emi that she didn't need her to be angry. Emi felt a little defeated by this and decided to drop back a bit. Emi nods, hesitantly, like this simple idea is all that she can grab on to at this point. She's so terribly off-balance, but she can't do anything about that right now.
"Okay." Emi sighed before speaking to Meiko as she drove Emi back to Yamaku, they were fortunate enough to bring Lenny back to his dorm while getting him inside with the help from Emi. Lenny was laying on his bed with Emi standing beside him.
"See you in a few days, okay? Running in the morning. Don't forget!" Meiko told Emi with a smile. She then left the room as Lenny was beginning to stir once more. His blue eyes opened to see Emi's.
"What happened?" Lenny asked. By his expression. Emi could have seen that Lenny must've hurt her when attempting to there's nothing, he can do for her as things stand, and Lenny knew that she's too stubborn to admit that she wants him to stick around. Lenny could watch various emotions cross Emi's face as she tries to process everything that's just happened. Shortly comes that calm look again, like last night, and that voice that tries so hard to sound careless.
"You blacked out and hit the floor." Emi explained to Lenny about what happened regarding the whole system of them trying to clear their own emotions. Emi's eyes began to water. "I'm sorry for throwing you out! It was the wrong thing for me to do!" Emi cried as she held Lenny. Both of them are unwilling to concede emotion at this point, and Lenny was having a hard time keeping up my facade, so he placed his head back down onto the pillow. He wanted to shut down and put it all behind him slowly, pausing for a moment as he began to think about this while Emi sobbed into Lenny about what happened. Did he make the right decision just now? Should he have stayed and tried to work things out? "I won't be running tomorrow so don't come." Emi told Lenny before she left the room. Lenny was left alone with his thoughts.
No, he had to decide. Not in front of her mother like that. In spite of everything, he'd rather keep Emi's mother insulated from the sort of anger that surfaced during the conversation. Even though she's probably used to it, some protective instinct wants Lenny to keep Emi's image as a cheerful girl intact. With a start, he began to realize his heart still wasn't normal from the incident. Lenny had to rest until tomorrow as he began to think about it, Emi told him that she wasn't going to be running. Lenny realized how much he had screwed up when it came to Emi. He lets out a long breath. The wait until tomorrow morning comes isn't going to be easy. In any case, Lenny had to think on what to say to Emi. He must apologize, and he must get through to her somehow. On that account, something has been on his mind for most of the way back to his room. There was a knock on the door, there must be someone at the door. Lenny got up to see who it was. He had been laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling for the better part of the last fifteen minutes. Lenny opened the door to reveal Hisao standing in the doorway.
Katawa Shoujo- Friendship
"Hey Lenny, Emi ran into me at the Nurse's office, and she told me exactly what happened. I just came here to check up on how you're doing." Hisao explained to Lenny how he was doing.
"Yeah, too bad things didn't turn out the way they did. I blacked out because of it." Lenny explained to Hisao.
"Yeah, the Nurse says this must be something bigger that might be happening. He says that you need to find something to calm down if you are to get yourself back into shape." Hisao explained. "I'll have you go to Lilly and Hanako as they too heard about your mother. Losing someone is really hard and I know it." Hisao then sat down next to Lenny as he wanted to speak to him about this. "This really isn't the reason why I came here. I got a letter with your name on it that was delivered to my dorm by accident and I decided to bring it here. We can look over it together." Hisao explained. He went over and decided to open the letter, it was from Iwanako.
Lenny was so concerned about his new life when he received it that he didn't even bother to really read it. Now that Hisao explained to Lenny that he was finding himself in a similar position, his curiosity got rekindled. What did Iwanako want to let Lenny know so badly? If nothing else, reading her thoughts might help him frame his. Lenny didn't remember tossing it away. Damn, where did Hisao get that letter? Hisao knew he must've gotten it from his mailbox, could there be two letters he got and Lenny's was separate? That turns up nothing, so he looks for harder-to-reach, more unlikely locations. Maybe where the letter could be in there with Hisao's. Hisao found a mail knife he had on him and decided to open the letter. Lenny got up and decided to read the letter for himself.
"Lenny Hirahi, There are other things I want to say. I'm writing to you because I felt that there are things I should've said after the incident back in winter. I really regret that I wasn't able to say them in person, and I have no excuse for it." Lenny read to himself. Hisao stood over his side trying to think about what the conversation was going to be about. "The truth is, the times when I visited you at the hospital made me worried about you. I am not talking about your health. You seemed to become more distant and disheartened. It was natural after something like that happened, I'm sure, but somehow, I got the feeling that you had given up on something back then. Happiness, maybe?"
"Giving up on happiness... This sounds unpleasantly familiar." Hisao commented on the letter that Iwanako sent to Lenny.
"I wanted to somehow express my feelings, but the right words didn't come to me. I couldn't say anything to comfort you. I am really sorry for not being able to support you when it mattered the most, even though I like you so much. At least now, finally, I can be more honest. If I could go back to those quiet days in February and March, I'd tell you to not give up on yourself. That's what I would say. Maybe you wouldn't have drifted so far away if I had just said something. I hope you've managed to get back on your feet on your own. Now that the distance between us is also physical, it also feels more final, somehow. I wonder if we will meet again. Perhaps it's for the best if we don't? Still, if you would like to correspond with me, by all means write me back. I'd very much like to hear about your new life and how you are doing. I wish you all the best. Sincerely, Iwanako." Lenny finished reading the letter. Lenny felt miserable about this, Iwanako seemed to have drifted away from him and now the distance between them was absolute. Lenny also felt worried that something like this was going to happen between him and Emi if things didn't turn around. Lenny sets the letter aside as Hisao gently patted Lenny on his shoulder.
"I'll write back to Iwanako to see when you two can meet. I must go now." Hisao explained to Lenny before he left the scene. Was this something that was going to happen? Lenny had no idea about what tomorrow was going to be or the other days ahead.
"Thank you, Iwanako. I wanted to answer "yes" to your question on that snowy winter day, but I never got to. By the time we met again, it was too late. Or so I thought. What would have happened if I had behaved differently, back in that dismally sterile hospital room? I'm sorry. There's no point in wondering now, but there's no point in trying to forget either. I am who I am because of all that happened to me and all I look forward to experience. Present, future, and past. And the past may just have taught me an important lesson now." Lenny told himself. He wanted to write back to Iwanako but Hisao had beaten him to it. To Lenny the battle was just beginning. Emi was the only person who mattered and setting things right was now the mission he needed to complete.
[A/N]: Lenny's trial to earn his ending with Emi has begun. This is going to be something I am kind of looking forward to writing. Hopefully this will continue with Emi getting everything into hand and maybe giving Lenny some advice especially with what happened regarding Meiko and Emi. See you when the trial comes around.