Happy Accidents & One Aggrieved Bookworm
A Harry Potter Fanfiction By Andrew Joshua Talon
Disclaimer: This is a fanbased parody work of prose. Please support the official release.
Note: This is an alternate timeline where Hogwarts Students start their first year at 13, rather than 11. Thus making this Harry 16-17 years old, and thus closer to legal. Just for my own conscience's sake.
Further Note: The part of Septima Vector is meant to be played by Lucy Pinder.
SMUT WARNING!
Harry woke up in the dark. He was warm and relaxed, and despite the complete and utter darkness he didn't feel lost or disoriented as he slowly returned to consciousness.
The feeling of breasts against his chest was an excellent way to wake up, Harry decided. He pulled his girlfriend closer and casually slid his morning erection against her hip.
There was movement, and an arm wrapped around him from behind, and his head was pulled back until he was swimming in cleavage.
… Which meant he'd just humped Hermione, not Septima.
He took a long, deep breath through his nose, and decided not to panic. After all, he might be the only one awake.
"Um, Harry?" Hermione asked.
Or not.
"Um, sorry about that, Hermione. I thought… er, I wasn't quite awake yet."
"Oh. Right, of course," she said softly, her embarrassment still evident.
Harry tried to think of something to say to defuse the situation, but couldn't manage. The fact that his erection was still pressing against Hermione didn't help matters.
"It feels so big. It's hard to believe that it would fit," Hermione mumbled.
Harry swallowed. "Well, uh-"
"OhgodIdidnotjustsaythat."
Septima chuckled. "Hermione. In the hospital ward. Just what were you saying before you ran away from me?"
"Nothing!" Hermione practically squeaked. "I don't know what you mean."
"Are you sure? Because it kind of sounded like you'd imagined a situation like this before," Septima said.
"Wait, what?" Harry asked. "You mean, like, uh…"
Hermione gasped. "Really Harry?"
Harry groaned.
"What?" Septima asked.
"... It got even bigger," Hermione said.
Harry felt Septima chuckle again. "I bet it did."
A silence stretched out.
"So, I feel like I'm missing something again," Harry said.
Septima sighed. "I'm already chasing one impossible relationship. Why not two? Hermione. I won't make promises or sugar coat things. This probably won't work forever. But I'm willing to see what happens and try to make it work. And we're not just sharing Harry. You and I will need to build a real relationship too."
"That's… really?" Hermione asked. "Is… that something you'd like, Harry?"
"I… didn't know that was an option," Harry said. "That's something we could do?"
"Yes," Septima answered. "Although if you thought you and me together was going to be tricky, three people is… going to be even moreso," she cut herself off.
"Um, how do you know?" Hermione asked.
"Well, I saw a lot of unconventional stuff when I was modeling," Septima explained. "I never did anything more than nude modeling, but the circles I ran in were full of women and men that did. And, well, as you might suspect, some of them had… pretty weird lifestyles. I've seen three people together a few times. And even five, once."
"Well. If that's something we can try…" Harry said cautiously. "I mean, I love you both. In different ways. I mean… I get what you said last night, Hermione. I don't want to lose either of you! Even if it doesn't work, we can't not try, right?"
"... Are you sure you couldn't just obliviate my memories of last night, Professor?" Hermione asked.
"Yes. First of all, you would just try this again the next time Harry and I met and we'd be right back here. Second of all, you do not casually obliviate friends."
"Hermione was a big fan of Lockheart a few years ago," Harry said cheekily.
"Harry!" Hermione said loudly, almost yelling in the comparative silence that had filled the room so far.
"Hmm. You know, maybe I'm going to have to spank Hermione for being such a naughty witch recently," Septima suggested.
"Wha- s-s-spank? Me? I haven't been spanked since I was four!" Hermione protested.
Harry smiled widely, glad it was dark. "Seems to me that it's about time someone gave you a few then," he said mischievously.
"Definitely something to think about for the future," Septima agreed.
Hermione didn't say anything, and Harry chuckled. "You like the idea, don't you?"
"What? Why would you think that?" Hermione asked.
"You're poking me right through your bra," Harry explained.
"Harry James Potter!" Hermione said loudly.
"Hey, can I kiss her?" Harry asked.
"If you don't, I will," Septima said.
Harry paused. "Well how am I supposed to decide now?"
"You can't see us, Harry," Septima pointed out, a hint of amused exasperation in her voice. She kissed the back of his head before pushing him forward towards Hermione.
Hermione jerked back. "Ow! My nose!"
Harry grunted. "My cheek."
Septima sighed. "Sorry. Hold still and we'll kiss it better."
Hermione bit her lip. "O-okay?"
Harry's erection disappeared from against her thigh, and in the darkness of the room she could hear and feel both him and Septima as they shifted around her, and she realized she was now surrounded. She bit her lip as a hand landed on her stomach and gently rubbed up and down, the feeling electric even through her shirt.
Then soft lips planted a kiss on her cheek, and she sucked in a large breath of air. "Oh. Oh my-"
Another pair of lips, thinner this time, attached themselves to her jaw just as another hand slowly slid up her leg. The first pair of lips pulled away.
"I don't want to go too fast. Should we stick to kissing, or would you like Harry and I to rub you off?"
Her body seemed to melt as the hand on her leg followed the curve of her thigh up between her legs and pressed against the crotch of her jeans, making her shiver.
The hand moved away, and Hermione realized she needed to actually respond. "Yes! Please, that's- nngh?" She was cut off as Harry's hand moved from her stomach to cup her breast at the same time Septima's moved back and pressed against her mons.
She let out an airy breath as a third, then finally a fourth hand pressed against her body, almost in coordination despite the darkness of the room. Septima's second hand traveled down from her neck to tease the breast Harry didn't already have a hold on, just as Harry's hand met Septima's between her legs.
There was a moment of confusion between Harry and Septima, before she took his hand and pressed the pads of three of his fingers against Hermione, rubbing in small circles. Hermione whimpered as her crush and her idol took turns kissing her, Harry would suck and nibble on her neck while Septima claimed her mouth, whereas during Harry's turn the older witch did much the same with her ear.
"Should we take those jeans off? Get more direct?" Septima's whisper was right next to her ear, but echoed through Hermione's head as loudly as if it had come through a megaphone.
"Yes?"
Harry's hand moved away from her mound and Hermione instantly felt a loss, almost managing a protest before she felt his fingers on the button of her jeans. He fumbled with it for several seconds, and Hermione suddenly remembered she had hands of her own.
Within seconds, her button and zipper were undone, and she was pulling both of their heads against her own, her fingers in their hair.
Harry laughed. "What brought that on?"
Hermione squeaked as she felt her jeans yanked down with several short pulls until they were around her knees. "You two made me forget I have hands!"
A hand- one with polished nails, a small part of Hermione's brain noted- tugged her panties down, until the slight chill of the tent air hit against her pussy.
"Imagine what she'll forget when she cums all over our fingers, hmm?"
It was Harry's turn to groan, and Hermione felt the bulge of his erection against her now bare hip, only his boxers between their skin. She felt her hand leave Harry's head, almost as if she wasn't in control of it. She rolled away from Harry, and his grip on her breast was almost painful for a moment as she grabbed him through his boxers.
"Pull it out, Harry, please?" She asked, even as her own fingers tried to open his fly. Harry's strong hand rubbed against her own, and suddenly her hand was inside his underwear, his hard, hot cock against her palm, several fine hairs on his scrotum tickling her fingertips.
Then he pulled everything out, and something hot and slick slapped against her thigh. She pulled her hand back, and a wet trail stretched over her side. Harry ground his cock against her hip, and Hermione shivered. It didn't feel much smaller than it had looked last night, and the idea of it being inside of her was nearly as intimidating as it was exciting.
Septima laughed. "Are you having fun over there, Harry? Just try to focus, okay? We're supposed to be getting Hermione off, not the other way around."
"You are," Hermione tried to assure her. "I can, I can do it too," Hermione said, her other hand leaving Septima's head and blindly searching for her crotch. It landed on her inner thigh, but Septima caught it in her own hand. "All in good time."
Septima brought both of their hands back, between Hermione's legs. "Rub yourself," Septima whispered, as her fingers rubbed against Hermione's slick folds.
She let out a small whine as she rubbed her clit, before she gasped as Septima plunged two fingers inside of her. Harry grabbed her head and pulled her into a kiss as he ground his cock against her hip, his hard cock smearing precome against her smooth skin.
Hermione was completely lost in the sensations, almost unable to even keep kissing Harry as Septima's fingers started to slowly slide in and out.
"Agh-!" Hermione let out a short cry, stiffening up a moment before her back arched and she ground her hips back against Septima's fingers. Harry's grinding didn't stop, if anything, he was humping her even faster. Septima didn't seem to think Hermione was done either, her fingers keeping a steady, shallow rhythm in and out of her tunnel.
Harry wrapped his body around hers, his arms embracing her as he started fucking her hip in earnest. Hermione broke their kiss to gulp down much needed air, only for Harry to latch onto her neck, sucking and licking.
Harry suddenly froze and grunted, and Hermione felt heat splatter against her thigh.
"Did he come?"
Hermione nodded in the dark. "I think so," she answered.
Septima smiled, and her thumb pinched down, trapping Hermione's clit between it and her fingers inside Hermione's pussy.
Hermione's world exploded.
A/N: If you notice a change in quality, blame Another Reader aka Stonebrow. Andrew Joshua Talon's muse has wandered off to other franchises, so I've mostly taken over the writing of this, and Talon backseat drives and tells me what he had been planning. Thanks for sticking around, hope you enjoyed!