Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. I've been busy. I kept trying to make this chapter longer, and I finally realized that it was enough on its own. I promise I will finish, but for that I'd have to get my laptop out. It really isn't easy writing on my phone. But I hope that as I post that others will want to follow suit. It has been a quiet fanfiction month so far. I hope that you enjoy the chapter! Happy New Year!
Chapter Six - I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
They walked slowly up the stairs, the tension between them palpable. Rhett kept his handing hovering over the small of her back as they climbed. Once they entered the bedroom, with Rhett holding the door to allow Scarlette to enter before him, they began final preparations for bed. Scarlett sat and began brushing her hair out again, despite having done it earlier. Rhett took the brush from her hands and straddled the bench behind her and began slowly, methodically brushing her hair. His warm body pressing against her making the act felt strangely intimate, even more so than the kiss that they had just shared.
"Rhett?' Scarlett murmured softly.
""Hmm?" he responded in kind, both lulled into a sleepy gentleness in the moment.
"Do you think that we could ever find a way to be a family again? Can we overcome all of the problems and losses, or am I just fooling myself?"
He paused before responding, "I don't know." He began brushing again, with her leaning into the strokes pulling through her hair, "Even a week ago I would have told you that it wasn't possible, that all there was left was a shell of a marriage, like one of the burnout plantations that Sherman left behind in his wake, but I'm beginning to think that there might be more left than I realized."
There was almost an imperceptible nod of her head, that he couldn't have noticed if he hadn't been pressed against her.
So he continued, "And I needed some space and time to heal. As much as it might hurt to hear this, I did need time away from you and from Atlanta. But I shouldn't have told you that it was going to last, because something about you has always drawn me back. I've kept coming back for more for a dozen years."
"I think that we did need time apart… But did time heal what needed to be healed?"
"I don't think that it works like that. I think yes that perhaps now we've both begun the path to healing, but I don't think we will ever fully heal. Losses like we've been through don't go away, even after years, they will still be there. I think my greatest fault was brushing off all of the losses that you'd been dealt over the years. I don't know how you were even still standing in the wake of them." he admitted. "I certainly didn't deal with loss as well as you. In fact, I think I resembled Ashley Wilkes and his decline than your fight to survive.'
She turned to him, her eyes boring into his, "what choice did I have? It was keep going or lay down and die myself."
He grinned at this, "And that is something I've always appreciated about you, the fight. You refuse to go down without one. Sometimes I think that I would be better off if I was better at facing things instead of hiding from them."
"It doesn't matter tonight, Rhett. It is Christmas. Let's just try to enjoy it as much as we can." She leaned against his, savoring the warmth and strength radiating from his presence. After a few moments, she sighed and took the brush from him and placed it on the vanity and then slipped into bed. "Come lay down. Ella will be up before the dawn. You know how excited she is about presents. She loves Christmas."
"And Wade won't be far behind her." Rhett returned as he slipped into the bed beside her. "Good night, Scarlett. Sweet dreams."
"Sweet dreams. Merry Christmas, Rhett." She gravitated across the bed towards Rhett's heat and curled her body into his side.
He leaned into her and dropped a kiss onto her forehead. "Go to sleep, Scarlett. We'll figure this out after the holidays."
Scarlett woke slowly to light pouring through the windows. She stirred restlessly and then frowned. The bed was empty beside her, and realization struck her and bolted upright. Why hadn't Ella woken her? There was no way that Ella had slept in on Christmas Day. Well perhaps she has been really tired because of the late night church service…. But even that excuse seemed implausible. Ella had been too excited about Christmas, and even on a normal day she would have already been in here. Something was amiss.
Scarlett rose from the bed and quickly grabbed her robe and her slippers. She glanced out to the porch to make sure that Rhett wasn't out there. She found the porch empty. She opened the bedroom door quietly and hurried down the stairs.
She made no sound as she reached the bottom of the stairs. She could see clearly from the open doorway. Rhett was sitting in front of the Christmas tree on the ground holding Ella. Scarlett stood in the doorway watching them, trying to understand what was going on. Ella was crying. Her thin shoulders shook with sobs, as Rhett clutched her tightly to his chest. "Shh, Ella. Hush, now. We're going to be alright."
Then the words drifted across the room that broke Scarlett's heart, "I know mother told me that Santa couldn't bring Bonnie back, but that's all I wanted for Christmas." She sniffled and wiped her nose in the sleeve of her nightgown. The only break in the heartbreak of the situation was when Rhett managed to pull a handkerchief out of the pocket of his robe. Of course there was one there. Why did he always have one? Was he preparing to be a magician with endless handkerchiefs?
Scarlett walked quietly over to the pair and then slipped down to join them, "Ella, I'm so sorry. I wish I'd been wrong. I wish he could bring Bonnie home to us. I want nothing more than to have all of my children together again."
Seeing her mother, Ella whimpered, "momma," plaintively.
Scarlett scooted closer on her knees to them and Rhett allowed her arms to encircle Ella, while he protectively put his arms around both of them. Scarlett looked up at Rhett to see that tears were slipping down his face. She leaned up and kissed his cheek. Slowly Ella's sobs faded, and eventually then was only an occasional hiccup, until she pulled away from her parents. "I'm going to be alright now." She whispered, looking very much like her mother's daughter in that moment.
Rhett remained on the floor holding Scarlett for a little longer until Wade appeared in the room. Ella had moved to peeking at the gifts under the tree and looking at the bulging stockings. Scarlett stirred from her reverie and pulled away from Rhett moving to the sofa. Rhett also rose and moved to sit beside her. Scarlett reached over and brushed a tear from his face. "Should we wait on your mother for opening the gifts?"
"I'm sure that she will be in shortly. She's already been up for a while. Mother never stays in bed past first light." Rhett assured her, and true to his prediction, Evelyn walked into the room a few minutes later bearing a tray of coffee.
"I thought we could all use something to drink. Wade, Ella, there is a cup of cocoa for each of you, and coffee for your parents." She set the tray down on the coffee table and handed out a mug to each person. "Alright. I believe it is time to open presents."
Scarlett instructed the children to begin handing out presents. And soon the stacks were growing as each person's gifts were piled together. "Rhett, you said you weren't going to spoil them." Scarlett chided.
"Old habits die hard," he replied evenly. "And I certainly did not contribute all of those packages. I think someone else is just as guilty as I am."
"Fine. We both need to work on not trying to buy the children's love." She directed her attention away from her husband. "Children, you may open your stockings first. Both Wade and Ella rushed to the mantel and pulled down the stocking carefully embroidered with their name. Wade's was green and Ella's was red, leaving the blue satin stocking hanging alone and empty. Both of the children found their stocking full of candy and fruit. Ella was quick to pop a piece of candy in her mouth. Once the stockings were emptied, Scarlett announced "We will start with Ella, since she's the youngest," internally wincing at the words. Ella should not be the youngest. She mentally shook herself. There had already been too much grief for Christmas Day.
Ella, normal high spirits restored, tore into her gifts with gusto. There were baby dolls and grown up lady dolls in fancy clothing with matching wardrobes of clothes with all of the accessories. There was more sheet music for the piano and clothes and ribbons. There were beautiful picture books and a delicate China tea service painted with pink roses. Ella quickly rushed around the room hugging all of the adults.
Wade began carefully opening his gifts. He'd received several books and gear for sailing with Rhett and a large array of clothing. He was most excited about the sailing gear. It didn't seem to take much to please Wade. He was such a good child, and his deprivations in early childhood had made him appreciate the wealth now.
Rhett turned to Scarlett, "it's your turn now."
Scarlett's stack of gifts was much more modest compared to the children. Evelyn has gifted her beautiful handkerchiefs monogrammed with her initials and delicately edged in green. Wade has bought her a pair of earbobs, though surely with help from Rhett. Ella had made her a bracelet of string, and then she'd given her a bag filled with lemon drops. "I can't say you don't love me, if you're willing to give me your candy instead of eating it yourself," Scarlett teased her daughter who was still contentedly munching on her own supply of candy from her stocking. She finally opened the final present on her stack. It held an exquisite necklace of sapphires and diamonds delicately patterned together. The stones threw a rainbow of dazzling light around the room, refracting with pinpricks of light that scattered across the ceiling.
"Bonnie saw this in the window last spring while we were out riding and insisted that I buy it for you. I've held on to it, but it was chosen by Bonnie, not me. Though I think she intended to borrow them when she was older," he admitted ruefully. Scarlett lifted the necklace to see the paper it was laying on. It was crudely drawn, and Scarlett instantly understood, this was a drawing of Bonnie's that Rhett had saved. "She told me that it was a picture of her with her beautiful mother."
Scarlette's eyes were cloudy as she stared at the drawing. With the explanation, she could see what it was. And she touched the paper carefully. "Thank you, Rhett," she whispered in a voice husky from holding back tears.
He handed her another package. "These are the marching earrings."
"Thank you." Scarlett squeezed Rhett's hand. "It's your turn now."
He opened the gifts, making the right level of excitement at each gift he opened. There was a new set of handkerchiefs from his mother, and a book from Wade, and a drawing of the family with Bonnie, and then he opened the small package from Scarlett. It was a custom made pocket watch, on the back was a sealed glass compartment with a circle of distinctive blue velvet with a single dark curl coiled over it. "It's a clipping from Bonnie's first haircut, and the fabric is a scrap from her riding habit. I wanted you to have something to carry with you to keep her near at all times."
Rhett looked up at her, but was completely silent. He had no words. He grabbed her hand and squeezed. She turned her eyes to his and for a moment, they simply looked into each other's eyes sharing grief and love – intermingled.
After a moment, Ella began calling for Grandmother Butler to open her gifts. And though the gifts were lovely, Rhett and Scarlett were totally immersed in each other and the thoughtful gifts that they had been given. Finally after all of the gifts were opened, breakfast was announced. It was fresh pastries that they served themselves to allow for the servants to have time with their families for Christmas. Scarlett was too distracted by Rhett to even notice the food.
After breakfast they returned to the living room to sing songs around the piano. Ella pleaded with her mother to play instead of her. They sang 'O tannenbaum' and several others, appreciating the magic of the day despite the sadness attached.
As they were preparing to head up the stairs, Ella squealed and ran back towards the Christmas tree, "There's a pure white feather with a tiny blue bow wrapped around it!" She grabbed the feather and danced around the room as the adults shared perplexed expressions. "Don't you see, Bonnie was here. She's an angel now, and she left a feather and a ribbon."
Not wanting to crush her dreams, Scarlett inserted, "I don't think humans become angels…"
Rhett shook his head, "That's beautiful, Ella. I know Bonnie was here. Didn't you feel her? When people we love pass, as long as we continue to love and remember them, they are always with us."
"But look at the ribbon, Uncle Rhett. It's Bonnie's ribbon, it just has to be. She was really here with us." She held out the feather confidently.
Scarlett watched as Rhett took it and examined it. It was just an ordinary blue ribbon, but the shade of blue was Bonnie's favorite shade- a rich vibrant blue that was commonly referred to as royal blue. Scarlett reached out a hand and placed it over Rhett's. There was certainly a reasonable explanation for the ribbon and the feather. But Scarlett knew that neither she nor Rhett had placed it, and she doubted that Wade or Rhett's mother had been the culprit either. "I think you're right, Ella. I don't have an explanation for this other than that." She knew that Rhett would not argue with her on this.
The room went silent, and then they heard the pealing bells of the churches, ringing out on Christmas Day