Chapter 14 - To Someone So Distant

Author's Note: Regrets? Never heard of 'em. :D

Probably should give a warning for panic attacks. :)

~ Amina Gila

They make it to the artillery deck in record time, but… unlike last time, they're spotted on the way, which means the second half of their trip there consists primarily of running while shooting over their shoulder at their pursuers. The artillery deck is… high. Very high, and Hunter feels a wave of vertigo wash over him at the sight. He lets out a shaky breath, lowering his blaster slightly. From here, they can trek back to the Marauder pretty quickly and quietly, but… it is a long. Way. Down.

"Okay, I'm not going out that way," Wrecker says flatly, stepping back.

"I'm not too keen on it, either," Hunter replies dryly, choosing to ignore the concerned look Echo throws at him, "But we'll have to make do." Still, as he reaches for his grappling hook to secure it to something, he can't quite hide the way his hands are shaking.

And they're running out of time. Majorly.

Even if they temporarily threw the regs off their trail, they'll catch up in minutes.

"You okay?" Echo asks quietly, and Hunter can't ignore it anymore, or the way Omega is looking at him, brown eyes wide and fearful.

"I'll live," he says, huffing out a breath. "It's not – it's not the same as before."

"Since when are you afraid of heights?" asks Tech, confused. His movements are a little jerkier now, not quite as precise as normal, as the effects of the stim shot wear off.

"I fell off a mountain, among other things," Hunter answers, shaking his head. "It… was far from pleasant."

Crosshair is watching him again, but he doesn't say anything, and not for the first time, Hunter wonders what he's thinking. Still, he doesn't ask as he secures the grappling hook in much the same way that he did when he and Wrecker were on Serenno, ready to toss down the line when the others are ready.

And predictably, that's when the regs show up.

He senses them right as they come through the first door, and he's shooting before the first trooper has even had time to register them. They spread out, trying to surround them, giving them more targets to deal with, firing at them with stun bolts – obviously, Tarkin wants them back alive. But they can't do the same, not when they're so outnumbered. That doesn't mean Hunter really likes having to kill the regs. It's never sat well with him, or any of them, but this is war, and they'll do whatever they must to protect their family.

"Omega, stay down," Hunter orders, ducking down next to Tech. Crosshair, Echo, and Wrecker are a short distance away, behind another source of cover. Crosshair is alternating between lifting his head to snipe at the regs and using his reflector disks, tossing them out and firing bolts at them to take down the enemy troops who are rapidly closing in. Hunter can use his senses to pinpoint them, each shot hitting a target, but it's still not enough.

Tech ducks up to fire again, but he doesn't move quick enough to evade a stunbolt. It hits him square in the chest, and he goes down. Omega yelps, scrambling to his side and ignoring Hunter's previous orders to her as she frantically tries to shake him awake, calling his name. Something inside Hunter snaps when he sees it, remembering the way she'd screamed Tech's name as he fell, the way he sacrificed himself so the rest of them can get out, and he can't let it happen again.

If – he wonders if they'll all be able to get out of here, with more regs converging on their position every moment, and they don't have time for this. Maybe they won't all make it out, but there's no way he'll let it be one of his brothers who is left behind.

Not again.

Never again.

He pulls out his vibroblade, though he hates himself a little for being willing to go this far, leaping over the inactive machinery he's hiding behind, and lunging forward. They don't even have a chance to react to him before he's on them, stabbing them with the same precision and accuracy that he uses to fight droids – blood will be such a pain to get off the blade. The shootout is lasting too long; time to end it another way.

It's all a blur after that, fighting them in hand-to-hand combat, taking them down one by one with his knife. Somewhere, distantly, he's aware of Tech getting back up, of the others falling back towards the exit. It's not enough.

He realizes with a grim certainty that it's not going to be enough. Someone will have to stay to cover for their escape, but that's a sacrifice he's willing to make for his brothers, for Omega.

It should have been him who fell on Eriadu.

(Maybe he can make up for how much he failed them if he goes through with this.)

He glances towards them with every intention of saying "plan 99," when he feels the vibration of the stun bolt. "Hunter!" cries Omega, but the electricity jolts into him, once and then twice, and the world goes dark before he even hits the ground.

**w**

Yeah, okay, Crosshair is just… not going to think about what Hunter is doing right now. He can't. This is – it's not Hunter. He doesn't – when did he get so brutal? There's a quick, merciless, efficiency to his movements that Crosshair has never seen before, as if the shadows that have been haunting him are now drowning him, turning him into an entirely different person. It was all fun and games with droids. These are people.

They don't kill people. They've never really had to, except in rare circumstances, and this is…

Not something he wants to think about.

He doesn't want to think about the way he's shooting them, either, but that's different. It's distant. Hunter's getting up close and personal in a way even Crosshair wouldn't be comfortable with, and he won't touch that right now.

First, they need to get out.

After that, Crosshair can deal with the person his brother has become. It hurts him to see it, not knowing the pain and horrors Hunter must have endured to turn him into this darkest version of himself, and it hurts knowing that Hunter is willing to go this far, that he really thinks it's the best option.

"You've led us out of many tight spots, Hunter, and you always take the logical route. That's why you're the leader. I know you'd have done your best, given whatever the circumstances were."

His words from earlier come back to haunt him, but he still believes them, believes in Hunter, even if he doesn't much like what he sees. He hasn't really liked what he heard about the person he became, either, and this… isn't really improving his impression of the future. He doesn't want to see Hunter like this, cold and ruthless and –

Yeah.

But everything is falling down all around them, and Crosshair trusts Hunter to get them out, even if it means doing things like this.

It all spirals down in a matter of seconds. Hunter half turns towards them the same second a reg gets behind him, shooting him with a couple stun bolts. Really, they're lucky that the regs were given orders – and programmed to follow them – because Crosshair would not be feeling very merciful towards anyone who started gutting one of his brothers. … He'd probably gut them in return. Painfully.

Hunter goes down, and Wrecker jumps straight for the regs, plowing through them the way he does droids, knocking them down and into each other and generally wrecking everything in his path. Crosshair carefully snipes a few more troopers while gesturing to Echo to follow him. They back away, shooting, towards the line.

It's now or never, and never is not an option for them. It never has been.

Tech is up, shakily, shooting very badly, and Crosshair would mock him for it if his brother wasn't dealing with a concussion.

Wrecker gets Hunter over his shoulder, backing to the grappling line. And then, they sort of just look at each other. Hunter has always been the one to give them directions, and it's so – so strange to not have him conscious to do that.

"Go," Tech orders, voice hard. "I'll hold them off."

Crosshair's heart drops somewhere into his boots. "Tech, you can't," he argues, because he's going to sacrifice himself so they can get away.

That's not how this was supposed to go.

"Plan 99," Tech replies with calm certainty, holding both blasters in his hands as he shoots at the regs, not looking back. "Now go."

"What – what does that mean?" Omega asks shakily, voice wavering.

Crosshair curses under his breath, looking at Echo, hoping for him to contradict Tech, but then, more troopers come through the door, and he knows they're out of time. "I'm going to kill you," he states with calm certainty to Tech as Echo nods to Wrecker.

"Are you sure?" he queries, stalling.

"Go," snaps Tech.

They don't want to do it.

None of them want to leave, and his heart feels like it's breaking, because they don't leave their own behind. He doesn't – he already knows Hunter will react very badly to this, and he – what else can they do? They can't – they can't be captured. They'll come back for Tech. They will. They just need to get Hunter to the Marauder. And the kid. They'll go after Tech once they're safe.

"We'll come back," Crosshair vows as Wrecker finally grabs the line, sliding down and out of sight, an unconscious Hunter over his shoulder. "Hop on, kid," he says to Omega, steadying her, slinging his rifle back into place as he grabs the line and drops down after.

The fall is… Well, it's very long, but it would be scarier if he wasn't so accustomed to being in high places.

Echo is the last to drop to the ground, and Crosshair half-hopes Tech will follow, but the regs have started shooting down at them before Echo even reaches them. His heart sinks even lower at that because it means Tech is out.

"We'll get to the Marauder and then double back," Echo tells them, voice resolute. It's the same thing that Crosshair had been thinking, and they set out back for their ship.

The walk feels hollow, empty, the kid almost clinging to his side. "Will he be okay?" she whispers finally, obviously terrified.

"They want us alive," Crosshair answers. "I assume that means they have plans for us."

He thinks again, briefly, about the little Hunter has said about what happened to him, in the once-future, and he doesn't have a good feeling about it. Will – could they do that to Tech? Turn him against them? Or are they going to use him as bait to lure them into a trap?

It doesn't matter. They'll get him back first.

Except they see the shuttles taking off and leaving before they even make it back to the Marauder.

All of them freeze, watching the shuttles leave, and Crosshair knows what this means. They took Tech and left. "Did they just…?" Wrecker asks, almost uncomprehending.

"They left with Tech," Echo confirms, grimly, and they exchange looks, equally scared and uncertain what this will mean for them for the future. Theoretically, they could go back to the cruiser to get out their inhibitor chips… but Crosshair doubts it'll be safe without Tech to oversee it, and he refuses to let anyone else play around in his brain when they don't know what they're doing.

And he highly, highly doubts Hunter became a brain surgeon in the future.

"Now what do we do?" Omega inquires, voice wavering. She sounds like she's going to cry. Well, Crosshair feels like he's going to cry – even though he won't, because he knows how to control his emotions – so the feeling is mutual, he guesses.

The answer to that is… they don't know. They'll need to wait for Hunter to wake up so they can tell him what happened and make plans from here. Surely, he's got some sort of plan… right? (He tries to ignore the part of his brain that asks if Hunter will really go after Tech, if he'll even try to, since they apparently left him behind. Which he gets, because going after Tech would be insane and risky, and they'll definitely be walking into a trap. Tech probably wouldn't want them to, but Crosshair can't imagine not going. They have to go. But… will Hunter even agree with that. He doesn't know. He doesn't know, and he hates that.)

"We'll go back to the Marauder," Echo answers finally, expression distant, "And we need to get Hunter awake so we can figure out what to do next."

Because clearly, Bracca went according to plan.

Crosshair can only hope that Hunter has a plan B now.

**w**

Hunter returns to consciousness slowly, fragments at a time. He's aware of being moved, and of being dropped down on a hard surface. Voices filter in, and he can hear his brothers calling him. Echo. Wrecker. Omega. He fights back to awareness, the worry in their voices and the vague bits he remembers of what was last happening bringing him back with a jolt.

He blinks up at the familiar ceiling of the Marauder, turning his head to take in his surroundings. Omega is crouched on one side, expression worried, while Echo is on the other. Wrecker is standing behind him, hovering, worried. Crosshair is leaning against the open ramp, looking between Hunter and the outside. And Tech is…

"Where's Tech?" he rasps, a sinking feeling of numb horror slowly crawling up his chest.

"They captured him," Echo answers quietly.

He shoves himself upright into a sitting position. "What – how?" He remembers getting stunned right as he was about to order the others to get out, and… they took him, but Tech stayed behind instead. "How did –?" He doesn't even know what he's trying to ask.

"He knew we all weren't going to make it," Echo replies, "And he told us to leave."

"And you did?" he bursts out, far more angrily than he means to, but he can't – he can't stop remembering waking up on Eriadu after the car crashed, finding Omega unconscious, the rest of them in varying states of injury, and knowing that Tech was gone. Forever. He can't –

"Plan 99."

"Don't you do it, Tech."

"When have we ever followed orders?"

Omega's scream.

"He said plan 99," Crosshair says quietly, looking out into the dark.

No. No. Nonono. No, that wasn't supposed to happen. Not Tech. Not again.

It feels like the world is closing in around him, and he's freezing, unable to move or think or process or – or –

The same numb desperation that had gripped him after it first happened crawls up again, the pain too deep for tears surging back up all at once to drown him once more. They lost Tech. Again. After Hunter promised he wouldn't let it happen. It – he – no.

It doesn't feel real or possible or –

It feels like he can't breathe, the world flickering out of focus around the edges, and he thinks he ought to be able to feel something other than the way his heart is hammering fast, too fast, and the tightness in his chest, the way he can't even draw in air right, and –

Why is this happening again?

Distantly, he can hear Echo calling his name, or maybe it's Wrecker, but he can't – he doesn't know how to respond as the grief curls inside of him, ripping open all the wounds he's been trying so desperately to heal over. He can't – he can't –

A hand, warm and heavy, lands on his shoulder, and he blinks, the world snapping into focus around him with an abruptness that makes him flinch. With a quiet, half-whine, he presses his hands against his face, trying to block out the sudden stimuli that are being dumped onto him.

"Hunter?" Echo's voice is careful, and Hunter presses back against Wrecker's hand, desperate for the reassurance that he's not alone, even though he just wants to curl into a ball and cry right now. "You with us?"

"Mm," he manages, but nothing more than that. He's shaking. Trembling. It's an effort to make himself keep breathing. The others confer in muted whispers that he would try to decipher if it didn't feel like every sound is making an ardent attempt to burrow into his skull and crack it open. His head is throbbing from a sudden migraine that he didn't anticipate, and he – it's all too much, too quickly, and he pulls away from Wrecker, staggering to his feet, wavering unsteadily. Crosshair and Wrecker both reach for him at once, ready to steady him in case he falls, but he stays upright through sheer willpower.

"We need to – leave," he says, focusing solely on standing and speaking clearly. Tech isn't dead. He's not, and they can get him back. "We can track him once we've left." Probably, the Empire will send reinforcements to do a sweep to see if they're gone, and they can't afford to still be here when they show up.

A pause.

"Where should we go?" asks Echo, rocking back on his heels.

He nearly says Ord Mantell, but stops at the last second, because he doesn't know if it's safe for them to go there or not. He can't – he can't imagine going there, but at the same time, it's a place he knows. It's not as if they'll ever go back to Cid in any case. She doesn't know them here, either, which will help. She can't turn them over again when she doesn't know them.

"… Ord Mantell," he says finally, stumbling and nearly falling when he goes to sit on the edge of his rack. He's worn out, suddenly, and he just – he wants to sleep.

Echo and Crosshair go to the cockpit without another word, and Hunter feels the engines rumble beneath them as they take off from Bracca, heading away. At least Crosshair isn't trying to shoot them down this time, he thinks a little hysterically. But what is it about this place? They lost Omega here before, and this time, they lost Tech. … This time, they didn't even manage to get their chips out, but that's something Hunter will deal with after they find a way to get Tech back. He's not leaving him with the Empire – he can't.

It'll be a trap, and he knows it, but he simply cannot fathom not going back for Tech. He promised he would never leave another brother behind, and he intends to keep that promise no matter what.

He doesn't remember planning to doze off, much less doing so, but sometime later, he surfaces enough to feel Wrecker moving him, laying him down, while someone else drapes a blanket over him – Crosshair, he thinks, based on the scents that filter in. And then, he goes under again, too worn out from the stress and not sleeping properly and his recent episode to try and wake up yet.

Soon, but not… yet.

Final Notes: Reviews are always appreciated! ^-^

Come hang out on Discord (delete spaces), discord . gg / nqSxuz2 or find us on tumblr at fanfictasia (our more serious blog which does have controversial posts on it; I won't be offended if you choose to block it, promise), and disastertriowriting (which is our fun blog with crack posts or incorrect SW quotes)

We've got a YT channel for tributes! (delete the spaces) youtube channel / UC_g1M5rSCxJUzQCRS29B6pA

ALSO: We have SW gift request forms for General, Anakin-Clones-centric, and Bad Batch fics. :D (delete spaces) bit . ly / CourtesyTrefflinFicRequests