A/N: Apologies for any spelling/grammar mistakes.
WARNING: Dark themes within this chapter, Eating disorder/self harm/suicidal thoughts. They will be recurring themes throughout this fanfiction.
Summery: AU Bella was left broken, told she doesn't belong in the supernatural world. How wrong she was... after being turned against her will she's thrown into a much more complicated supernatural world than she first thought. Confronted with this harsh new world will she be able to piece herself back together? Dark themes SH/Suicidal themes. Tanya/Bella Femslash slow burner
Chapter Two: I am a monster.
I stopped screaming what felt like months ago, the fire that coursed through my veins never died down making it impossible to tell how much time had past. I knew I was still in the meadow that's about all I knew. It was hard to tell if I was dying or being changed. The way the venom traveled… it was different this time. Unlike the flames of James' venom these flames burnt ever so much hotter. At the time when James had bit me I knew I was being changed into a vampire, the way his venom burned I could feel my cells begin to change as stupid as it sounds.
With Victoria's venom was different, it moved slower, almost with the intent to torture.
I didn't notice when the fire had engulfed my whole body. I didn't know if I was still breathing, I couldn't feel anything except with each useless beat of my heart the fire only grew hotter, and hotter and hotter until… it stopped.
The fire in my veins lingered. My skin felt painfully sensitive. Was I now in the fiery depths of Hell? I didn't dare try to open my eyes in fear that I'd see a bunch of devils flying around whipping other poor souls. Where there was nothing but brimstone and fire for the eye to see and the eternal suffering for all mankind.
Yet… the white noise rang almost comedically loud in my ears, mocking me. I could just make out the sound of the wind ever so gently dancing through the trees. The subtle moan of the trees as the moved with the wind. There were no birds singing their songs almost as if they were hiding from what ever predator lurked within their trees. I tried my best to focus on what I could hear…
Thud-thud… thud-thud… thud-thud-thud; Multiple heart beats of rather large… unusually large animals heading towards me?
The next thing was heavy breathing, dog like panting then a deafening painfully sorrowful wolf-howl. Others were whining in a almost sympathetic manner as if these animals were experiencing the same pain. There was an odd swoosh that sounded like meat oddly being squished together before a deep whimper came from the trees. Footsteps broke through the tree line at quick speed showing no signs of slowing. Their heart beat pounding in their chest.
"No no no no! Bella!" a males voice cried out, I felt scolding hot hands on my shoulders lifting me up and thrusting me into their large and equally scolding chest.
The drum of their heart became the only thing I could focus on… it was almost hypnotising. The longer I listened to it I could hear the rush of their blood be pumped through their veins… It was almost like a loud winding river with a strong current.
My throat clenched in a dry ache, then ignited all at once.
It was as if Id bitten down on the worlds hottest chilli pepper but instead of the spice attacking my mouth it was just my throat. An over whelming sensation came over me to bite down on who ever was holding me so close… Bite down and have the strong current quench this burning thirst. I opened my mouth ever so slightly and gently inhaled for the first time…
To be met with the stench of wet dog, but a disgusting gag inducing quality. A hiss broke from between my lips.
Danger. My instincts suddenly scream, before I knew what I was doing I had moved to the opposite site of the meadow to see five massive wolves hanging by the tree line and a half naked-man where I had been laying. The wolves let out a warning growl slowly creeping forward teeth bear. The man seemed shocked and terrified his heart beat had quickened.
"B-B-Bella?" He managed to chock out, tears fell from his blood shot brown eyes. I tilted my head at him, he looked familiar but I couldn't focus on him my instincts where telling me to run. Run fast and away from these beasts. My eyes flickered through all of them before taking off running to the right.
Everything moved so quickly past me but if I focused on my surroundings I could see them with amazing detail and not miss anything. I wanted to slow and take everything in but the rumble of multiple thunderous gallops and accompanying snarls kept me from slowing my pace if anything it only fuelled my urge to run. The trees began to fly past me as my instincts pushed me to run faster. If I wasn't so focused on running I'd almost be questioning why I hadn't tripped up yet.
Soon I could hear the ocean and somehow knew that would offer me temporary safety from these beasts. At least enough to try and process what the hell was going on.
Within seconds I could see the hole in the wall by the beach and instinctively jumped onto the side rock before perfectly timing the landing to only launch myself towards the sea, gracefully soaring through the air landing a perfect dive into the water.
Allowing myself to sink to the bottom the coldness of the ocean that should have been there wasn't. The burning desire to take a deep breath, wasn't there. The sting of the salt water in my eyes again wasn't there, nor was my vision distorted I could see clearly through the murky waters.
Danger still near, not safe. Keep moving. My instincts chanted over and over again, without thought I was already moving, pushing through the water with ease, I didn't know where I was heading. For all I knew I was swimming towards Japan. However that quickly became clear I wasn't, I soon came across land studying the shore line the sense of danger wasn't near.
Only a new growing sense of anxiety… being out here left me exposed, I needed somewhere less open. Once I'd managed to get into the shallows of the ocean I quickly broke out into a sprint again, the world again passed by me at an inhumanly quick pace quickly finding refuge in the tall woodland trees had to offer. I ran until the desire faded, coming to a complete standstill in the wilderness. Birds still sang their songs, woodland creatures continued roaming around as if I wasn't there. The burn in my throat began to reignite in a more irritating matter, at the same time I couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach as my conscience caught up with my present self.
I'd become a vampire.
I didn't need any further confirmation of it. My senses had gone from being set to a measly low setting to now being upgraded to the highest possible setting. I could see the dusts of the forest linger in the air, the way each and every stream of light burst through the tree branches onto the forest floor.
I swallowed the little venom that had pooled in my mouth in hopes to lighten the burn in my throat. When it didn't I out of habit I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. To my mistake or rather horror a growl erupted from my throat, my eyes flying open.
Something sweet was near by, its scent stood out over the other wild animals in the surrounding area. Focusing on the surroundings I was able to single out two heart beats. Before I knew what I was doing I was already running towards the sweet scent only to gracefully climb into a tree near by. Two humans where walking off trail, seeming to be arguing over which way to go. I couldn't bring myself to focus on what they were saying as their heartbeats drowned out what ever conversation they were having. Again the beats of their hearts sang out to me in a almost hypnotising song, with my new perfect eyesight I could see the gentle rhythm of their pulse on their necks.
My throat once again was set alight with each drum of their hearts and gentle flick on their necks…
Hot, refreshing liquid sprayed into the back of my throat filling my mouth up, I swallowed and my throat felt as if I was drinking the coldest most refreshing liquid I'd ever come across. The liquid was thick and sweet, but not too sweet. It was clean of any drugs or booze I could tell with the texture of the blood. It was smooth almost like runny caramel. With a moan I dropped the body, licking my lips and stare into the eyes of the young man in front of me. Their eyes filled with fear, before they could scream, my teeth sunk down into their neck sucking their own sweet liquid into my mouth with three large gulps his body was empty and I drop it with a grown of frustration. My throat erupted again in a hellish blaze, growling in anger, I sniff the air trying to pick up any more scents only to catch wind of what seemed to be three others to my south. With a hiss I took off again, I couldn't force myself to think, I didn't want to. I just wanted this burning in my throat to stop.
I found a small camp where another three men were sat round a small make shift fire one was trying to light. The smell of damp earth and fallen leaves filled the air as I moved silently through the tree branches.
The hunger gnawed at me from within, an insatiable thirst for blood that was impossible to ignore. One of the men had lit the campfire drawing me closer with each flickering flame.
I watched them from above—three friends gathered around the fire, their faces illuminated by the dancing flames. They laughed, shared stories, and enjoyed the warmth of the fire on that chilly evening. They had no idea that I was lurking nearby, no idea that their friends were dead less than half a mile away.
As I approached, I couldn't help but admire their innocence. They briefly reminded me of the life I had just lost, the life I would never have again. But the hunger was too much to bear, and I knew what I had to do.
With stealth born of centuries of practice, I crept closer to the campfire, my teeth bared, my eyes glinting with hunger. My heart pounded in my chest as I closed the distance, my footsteps silent on the fallen leaves.
The first victim, a younger male with bright eyes and a contagious smile, was the closest to me. Before he could react, I lunged at him, sinking my teeth into his delicate neck. His scream was muffled by the shock and pain, and his friends watched in horror as his life was drained away.
I couldn't stop myself. The taste of his blood was intoxicating, and I drank greedily, ignoring the petrified screams and cries of the others. As the life faded from him, I dropped his lifeless body to the ground.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I turned to the second victim, a man who had been his friend. He tried to fight back, but I was too fast, too strong. He couldn't put up much of a struggle, and soon his body joined the first.
By the time I turned to the third victim, a older man who had been frozen in shock and terror, my horror at what I had become began to sink in. His eyes met mine, and I saw the pure terror in them, mirrored by the reflection of my own monstrous face.
I hesitated for a moment, a wave of revulsion washing over me. I'd never so much as hurt a fly in my past life yet here I was, about to murder my fifth, human in less than half an hour. But the hunger was still there, the insane burning in my throat. I couldn't stop myself. I lunged at him, and the last of their screams filled the evening air.
When it was over, I stood amidst the lifeless bodies, my hands and mouth covered in blood. The campfire had dwindled to embers, casting long shadows that danced eerily around me. I fell to my knees, overwhelmed by guilt and remorse.
What had I done? I had taken the lives of five innocent people, extinguishing their futures, their hopes, and their dreams. I am a monster, a creature that was clearly consumed by bloodlust, and I couldn't escape the horror of what I had become. The realisation sank in like a heavy weight on my chest, and I wept tearless cries into the night.