.

Chapter 2

Wishes 1

Bella

By now I really couldn't explain why I had been so afraid of it when he ran with me on his back. Now I loved it. Almost as much as I loved him. To me it always felt like flying and because of him I was safe and could enjoy it. The only stupid thing was that it was always over so damn fast. So also this time.

Smiling, he stopped.

"So madame, please dismount."

I shook my head slightly and kissed him gently on the cheek.

He leaned his head against mine and I closed my eyes.

"Can't you put the bag down here and run another lap?", I asked quietly so as not to ruin the mood.

He smiled.

"Well well ... we've taken a liking to my running style, then?"

I nodded slightly.

Edward threw my sandwich bag on the floor and consolidated his grip around my calves.

"Where to, angel?"

I sighed happily, hugging myself tighter to him.

"I don't care. Where your heart takes you."

"I'm already there!" he whispered softly. "In your heart."

This led to the fact that my pulse and especially my heartbeat increased by quite a bit, and I once again started to kiss him on the cheek, he noticed it and turned his head slightly. Gently our lips caressed each other.

When Edward gently released the kiss, he ran.

Happily, I kissed the back of his nape and finally lowered my head onto his right shoulder blade.

At some point he stopped.

We had arrived back at the clearing.

Gently he turned me to face him, so that I enclosed his back with my legs.

"Did you enjoy the run, angel?"

I nodded.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Anything you want, dear."

Carefully, I leaned forward a bit while I wrapped my arms around his nape. Gently I kissed him.

He returned it, but quickly ended the kiss again.

Frustrated, I took note.

Edward laughed softly and then lowered me to my feet.

My arms were still around his neck.

I could not decide to detach myself from him. The feeling of his closeness, of his body against mine, was too beautiful, even if it drove me crazy that he was so close and yet so far. I was so far from my physical release. I wanted him so much that it already hurt.

Sighing, I laid my head against his chest, admittedly relatively jerkily.

Panicked, I wrenched my eyes open again as I felt us falling.

Edward's right arm was around my waist, his left arm caught us on the ground. He chuckled.

"Bella, where is this power coming from? You blow me away."

I smiled slightly and punched him in the shoulder, played offended.

"Ouch, that's going to be a huge bruise, Bella. Great."

I went for his tone.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that. Do you want me to fix it up?"

I wasn't one hundred percent sure if it had really been the case, but I thought I could see his eyes flashing.

"It's worth a shot."

Grinning, I spread a few kisses on the skin that I could reach despite his T-shirt.

Neck, cheeks, upper arms, ear.

"Bella!" he said, chuckling. "You're just trying to get me to take my T-shirt off."

Of course, it was not meant seriously, yet somehow there was a nervous undertone in his voice.

My face instantly resembled a tomato again.

"Damn right!", I said hoarsely.

First he looked me horrified - somehow examining - into the eyes. Then he laughed and I laughed with him.

When we had calmed down halfway again, he stroked my hair for a moment before asking if I didn't want to eat my sandwich at last.

I nodded in surrender.

I knew that I had to start explaining what our trip was all about. And I was sure that he knew me too well by now for me to pretend anything with my behavior.

Sighing, I began nibbling on my sandwich while he watched me closely.

How was I going to convince my fiancé that it was really time to take our physical relationship to the next level?

I tried to calm myself down.

Carlisle had agreed with me, had said it was a good idea. If I had been able to convince him, didn't it have to work somehow with Edward?

When I had eaten my sandwich and drunk the cocoa, Edward suddenly let all the air out of his body.

"Okay, my angel, now tell me what's wrong with you. You're driving me crazy. At first I thought I made your sandwich wrong because you made such an upset face ..."

I laughed nervously.

"Nonsense! No, the sandwich was perfect. Thanks again."

I knew that I was only driving him further crazy with my renewed silence. And I also knew that he would not let me go home until I had told him the reason for my nervousness.

"Bella!" he moaned. "Please! I can't stand this. I need to know what you're thinking. You look so nervous!"

I sighed, closed my eyes and said, "I wanted to come here because I need to talk to you."

It was more like whispering than talking, I thought. Crap!

"Then start talking. I wish you would stop torturing yourself. Am I that untrustworthy?"

I quickly shook my head and widened my eyes.

"No, it isn't. It's not your fault. It's just ... I'm acting like a complete idiot."

"Hey, listen to me. You're not a complete idiot, all right?! You're anything but. Everything you say sounds like music to my ears. Now please ... stop torturing me and you and tell me what's going on already."

It was so cute the way he said it that I had to smile. I took a deep breath and decided to blurt things out right away. Somehow it was just like jumping into cold water after all. Just jumping in was usually easier than wading slowly into the cold water.

"Okay, Edward ... I'd like to talk to you about our intimate needs."

OH MY GOD! That sounded so stupid. Great, Bella. Brilliant beginning.

Edward looked at me completely shocked and somehow hurt.

Oh damn!

"Well ... so ... w ... what I meant was ...!", I stammered on. "Can't we raise the whole thing a level or two?"

Jesus! The conversation would so go down the swanny! And now I was the idiot after all!

Embarrassed and rather blushing, I sat there, dropped my hands in my lap, searching for the right words.

"I mean ... What I'm saying is ... I've already talked to Carlisle, and he thinks it's a great idea ..."

He cut me off.

"You talked to Carlisle about our 'intimate needs'?" he asked, completely aghast.

I didn't dare look at him, feeling the lump in my throat.

"I'm sorry!", I mumbled and immediately felt tears welling up inside me.

Damn, could I have done it any dumber?

"Bella ..." he whispered, sliding his index finger under my chin, making me look at him. "Angel ... I'm not mad. I just want to know why you went to Carlisle first and not me."

Still I did not dare to look at him.

"Just because I needed someone to support me, and I know you trust Carlisle's opinion. I knew you wouldn't listen to me, and I really needed someone to support me ..."

All at once I knew that this had not been a good answer. Because he looked at me so hurt and disappointed at the same time, while he squeezed all the air out of himself.

"Bella, you went to him because you thought I wouldn't support you? Have I ever been unfair to you, or have I gone over your head?"

When I heard him say that, I widened my eyes and stared at him.

"Edward, no, for God's sake, I didn't mean it that way. I just wanted to know from him if it was possible. Helpful, before I confront you, maybe even argue with you about it, if in the end it can't be done anyway. But it can, Edward. Carlisle thinks it's good. He agrees with me that it will help us - help you. He agreed with me when I asked if it would be good if we consummate the whole thing a little toned down before the wedding night, practice it, so to speak. I want to help you, Edward. I want to stay with you forever, you know that. And I want this wedding night thing to be special, and you said yourself that it's going to take some preparation. And we could just try some things first, something simpler to make it easier for you for the night of August 13."

Now he looked me firmly in the eyes.

"What were you thinking of when you said 'consummate the whole thing a little bit toned down'?"

Blushing again, I avoided his gaze.

"I ... I don't know. Anything you want."

He laughed and pulled me onto his lap.

"Nah, not like that, Cherie. You started it, so finish it. So tell me what you want."

"I want what you want."

"Bella!" he breathed.

His lips danced along my neck in that 'damn good, but oh so damn unfair' way, torturing me.

"I want to know what you want. Say it."

His lips seemed to whisper 'Give up, give up!' as they tenderly caressed my collarbone, the spot behind my ear and my neck.

My head was spinning.

That's where the freakiest fantasies played out, urging me to tell him that my desire for him was insatiable. I wanted to feel Edward's hands on my breasts, between my legs. I wanted to feel his lips caressing every millimeter of my burning skin. And my hands on his body, my lips on Edward.

I gasped and pushed him off me.

I had never needed and wanted anyone as much as I needed and wanted him. Neither psychologically nor physically.

"No, Edward. Not until you tell me you want it too."

"Oh, I'll tell you I want it more than anything."

That kind of threw me off my game a little bit.

"Really?"

"Yes, Bella. If that's what you want, then yes."

"And do you think it will help you?"

"My self-control? Yes, probably. But really, I just want to give you everything you want."

He bent forward to kiss me again.

"Wait!", I whispered, panting slightly, somehow managing to stop him with my hands on his chest.

How I did it, I did not know.

He groaned in his gasp.

Could it really be possible that he wanted it as much as I did? No, probably not.

"Edward, we should set some rules first."

"Rules are made to be broken, Bella."

He leaned forward again, approaching my lips.

Did he really just say that?

"Edward." He groaned and leaned back again. "Please. I don't want to break it. And that's why I need to know what I can and can't do."

"You shouldn't really care about that, because right now it's mostly about your wants and your desire."

He almost purred the last words, which sent a proper shiver down my spine.

"No."

"What ... no?"

"No, but it should not be just about me and my wishes. If it were up to that, Edward, I wouldn't have been a virgin for months. Hell, I'm discussing this with you because I want to make it easier for you so you can enjoy it too, and that's why this is for you. So, you have three choices."

Damn, this was killing me, this conversation. I was probably permanently red again, but by being annoyed by his stubbornness, I didn't notice my embarrassment too much. The worst part was that I wasn't exactly happy with two of the three choices.

"So. Option A - We'll just forget about this discussion ...!"

But he didn't seem too happy with that either - judging by his look.

"B - We'll deal exclusively with your concerns."

He looked almost more unhappy than with the first variant, which upset me a bit, because I could have just about coped with this option, because I was almost certain that he would not approve of variant C. I was not sure that he would approve of it. Yet it was the one I found best.

"C - We both give and take ... you know ..."

C was my personal favorite. I hoped so much that he would agree, even though I didn't really believe it.

Edward sighed.

"Mmm ... So option A is almost moot, because as a vampire I don't forget anything."

YEEEAAAHH ...! Inwardly I already high-fived with myself, because now he could only take B or C..

"We can also forget option B, because I will not allow my inner desire to finally be satisfied, but you get nothing in return from me. So that leaves only option C. But there I still have a few questions. It means that I can do anything I want with you?"

I nodded.

"Sexually speaking, yes!" Oh damn! Had I really said that? Was that embarrassing. I knew my face looked like a tomato.

"Mmm ... and it also means that I have to take care and concentrate?!"

"Of course."

He nodded, trying to be serious, but I saw the sly smile that caressed the corners of his mouth.

"Of course!" he repeated. "Well, as long as you stop when I say 'stop,' then it could work and we both ... would probably be satisfied in the end. And we're just going to practice?"

I nodded.

"So anything other than the actual ... act. No gimmicks. Are you sure you can do this?"

I nodded again.

His smile turned into a devilish grin.

"Good, and as you promised at the beginning, now you have to tell me what you want me to do to make you feel satisfied."

I cursed him - him and his honeyed voice, his heartbreaking smile.

"Please Bella, tell me what you want me to do for you, to do with you."

With his cursed smile, he made my inner wall crumble.

Oh no!

"I want what you want!"

He seemed to see my defeat and then whispered more honeyed than ever, "Of course angel. If you tell me what you want, I'll tell you what I want."

I wanted to scream 'liar' at him, but I couldn't. His inimitable smile, his beautiful topaz eyes hypnotized me too much. If I told him what I wanted, he would be so horrified at my dirty fantasies, that much was certain. How could he want someone like me, who was constantly causing him physical pain - his blood thirst -, always demanded complete mental presence from him and meanwhile had only one thing on his mind: sex!