Fresh new chapter! I hope you enjoy it :) :)
I don't remember being this nervous since the first day of school, back when I was 5. I must have cleaned the entire house two times now, separated all the ingredients we'll need to make the cookies and changed clothes twice.
All because in no universe would Katniss let Prim come alone, so she'll have to come too, which means a least a couple of hours she'll spend in arms reach.
We didn't set up an hour and something may come up and they may end up no coming, which is contributing to my nervousness. "Maybe I should re-check if the bathroom is well washed… Wait what if the ovens are not working, I didn't check them today".
I race to the kitchen, switch on the ovens and sigh in relief when the light turns on. I'm halfway through examining the state of the butter when a knock on the door has my heart racing. I glance around making sure everything is in its right place, I look over the dinning room's mirror and comb my hair with my hands to keep it in place.
Then race to the door not to keep them waiting longer, Katniss may turn around thinking I'm not home.
My smile spreads widely when my hopes are confirmed, and I see both Prim and Katniss at the door. "Hi, welcome! Please come in." She looks especially beautiful today, in spent gray pants black boots and an oversized wool sweater.
They stop in the foyer and Prim pushes a little cheese into my hands "To thank you for the cookies and for the time you're taking today to teach me!"
"Not at all, thank you Prim. I have everything set out in the kitchen, right through there" I point, and she goes racing to the Kitchen.
Meanwhile, Katniss who has been quiet until now, puts her bag on the floor and starts taking things out.
"What are you doing?" I ask as she made no move to follow her sister to the kitchen.
"I know you were at my house yesterday, obviously. Though I appreciate what you're doing for Prim and that you had your arm checked out, as I suggested, we're not going to be your charity case, because you feel guilty. So here" She extends her filled hands to me "It costed me two extra hours today to get everything."
"What?"
"You overpaid my mother, so, please consider this your change" She hands me a fish, a squirrel and small bag of strawberries, and as her point was made, starts walking to the kitchen until I cut her by standing in front of her.
"Now, wait a minute, what do you mean by charity case? I was paying for the service and the time that your mother had to spend with me and therefore couldn't tend to anyone else" she starts to open her mouth, to counter, but I continue.
"And what will you have me do with these? I told you I'm living alone, there's no one but me here, no one to share with; are you ok with wasting good food now?"
"Just give it to your family, do whatever, what I won't have is you deepening the pit of what I already owe."
"You know I can't go back home, I'm no longer welcomed, so not quite the solution, is it?" I say it harder than I intended to.
"Great, another punishment you get because of me. It seams I'll never be through with owing you."
Tired, and hurt I sigh "You don't owe me anything, nor will I ever demand you anything. Now we're keeping your sister waiting, can we go?" Its always about owing, always a balance, minus and pluses with her, with can't just see me as her friend?
I gesture for her to pass and follow her into the kitchen, where Prim waits seated on a bench admiring the ingredients I set out.
I store everything Katniss gave me, and the cheese Prim offered in the fridge, wash my hands, and taking an apron from the drawer I keep it in, I pass it to Prim.
"For you, to keep your dress clean!" Katniss helps her by tying the knot around her back and she quickly climbs back on the bench, standing on her knees to be able to see better.
"Ok, are we ready?" Prim nods and Katniss sits quiet next to her, settling in half looking around, half paying attention.
"So, I've already separated the ingredients, but I'll tell you the quantities as we add them" Passing the mixing bowl, which already contains sugar, I explain "here we have one cup of white sugar and another of brown. You can give them a little stir and then we'll add the butter."
She picks up a cereal bowl I filled with butter and adds it to the mixing bowl "there, you just added one and a half cups of butter at room temperature. You can now mix everything together with this whisk. Our objective is to get a paste that fully combines all the ingredients."
"Uff, this is difficult."
"It is, it needs a little bit more strength. Do you want me to help you?" I take the bowl from her when she nods and swiftly mix the ingredients by hand until we're left with a homogenous paste.
"See, just like that. Now we'll put in the 4 eggs you have on that bowl and one table spoon of vanilla extract."
"What's vanilla extract?" she asks.
"Vanilla is a spice that I brought back from the Capitol. It has a funny taste, which goes well with cookies, cakes, and ice-cream. Here: have a taste" I take out another spoon, place a little bit of the brown liquid in it and pass it to her. I take a second one ad pass it to Katniss.
"Hum… I never tasted anything like it, I like it" Prim says.
"Yes, it's good, different and very strong, but I like it too" Katniss adds.
"That's why we only add a tablespoon. You'll see they'll be noticeable in the cookies and give them a flavor boost. Anyway, tablespoon goes in, and you can mix it."
"May i?" Katniss asks.
"Of course," Smiling, I pass the bowl back to her. It makes me very happy that she's participating, I did not expect it. The bowl returns to me with all ingredients perfectly mixed in together.
"This is perfect! Now the only thing left is to add a pinch of salt and 5 cups of flour." Prim adds the ingredients and I pass the bowl back to Katniss so she can finish combining the ingredients.
With everything mixed, I take the dough out and roll it until we're left with a cylinder.
"Now, taking this buttered tray we have here, we'll cut the roll and place the cookies in the tray, with just enough space for them not to fuse while growing in the oven" I cut the roll in half and split it between Katniss and Prim. They work swiftly and, in no time, sixty cookies fill the tray, ready to got to the oven.
"Ok, now we let them cook for 8 minutes, before taking them out."
"Then I'll take the opportunity to go to the bathroom" Katniss excuses herself and exits, leaving me and Prim to separate the ingredients for the icing.
"So, the icing is just milk and confectioner's sugar?" Prim asks while we mix the icing ingredients.
"Yes, and now in each bowl we'll add a color so we ca paint with them. What colors do you like best? I have several" I say while opening a cupboard door and let her take out her favorite colors.
"Yellow for me because it's my favorite color and green for Katniss, because it's hers. What's your favorite color?"
"Orange" I say reaching out and taking that color.
After 8 minutes I take the cookies out. Katniss is still not back, and I start to wonder what she's up to.
"We'll just let them cool off for a bit, you think of the drawings you want to make. I'm going to check on Katniss, see if she got lost."
I make my way to the ground floor's bathroom, thinking if should knock or if it's rude and should just leave her alone, but when I get there the bathroom door is open and there's no sign of her. I've also didn't notice any sign of her on any division on the way here, so I continue forward.
I finally find her in the room where I keep my paintings, right next to the office. She's silently looking at them. I don't think admiring is the right word, the paintings I have leaned against the walls and against themselves are far from art or deserving of admiration. Since I've arrived, my sleepless nights have provided me with quite the collection, and I already have at least ten exposing the horrors that roam my head.
She senses me in the room the minute I enter, but remains still, silent for a while.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry, I turned the wrong way leaving the bathroom, got lost and found this room." I'm not sure what I am feeling having her look at the paintings, they're intimate, a perfect depiction of what goes inside my head, they're private and I never intended for anyone to see them. Plus, I'm afraid seeing them will have her take Prim and run away from here.
"They're awful" She finally says and it's so out of what I was expecting that I laugh.
"Thank you"
"No, no, don't get me wrong, they're beautifully done. But the whole action, this is what you lived there, is it not?"
"Yes, it is. The whole nightmare I lived there and continue to live every day in my head. And every night, it's why I paint them – Can't sleep."
"You have nightmares, and you paint them. Why? Why would you want to relive them? Spend time to make them real?"
"I don't know…" I sight, feeling desperate, from all the topics in the world… "I just… I can sleep, I wake up in the middle of the night screaming and I can't shake them, so I just come here and paint the last image that stuck."
"Does it help? Painting them?" She asks with what I note is genuine interest.
"Not much, as every night It's a repetition of the last. Why do you ask?" This is now the longest conversation we had without her screaming at me or accusing me of something. It's nice for a change, even though I would have preferred us not to have to discuss this particular topic.
"I have them too" She admits almost imperceptibly.
"What? Nightmares?" The confirmation doesn't surprise me, she's had a difficult life, with the weight of providing for her family falling on her, after her father died. What it does is make me extremely sad. Sad that I can't protect her from it or offer any help, really.
"Ever since my father died, almost every night I'm haunted by the mine exploding and my helplessness, my inability to do anything that may save him. The horror of, having waited for hours, realizing that he's never coming out of that mine, that we'll never have a body to burry" My heart breaks for her as I know how she feels. I too wish I could be able to do something to make her nightmare go away. Unaware, I take a step closer to her and place my hand on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry" This simply, unthought gesture sends a wave of heat I feel in all my body. Did she feel it too? I take my hand away embarrassed, as she turns to look at me.
"What was it like? Being in the arena?" Oh boy, not this question, I'm not ready to talk about it, to relive it all, allover again.
"I'll tell you some other day" I sigh, I don't want this moment of honesty to end, but I can't "I want to tell you, it's just that it's too raw and too awful, I'm just not ready to relive it yet. Besides the cookies must have cooled off by now and Prim will be expecting us." I add in an attempt to lighten the mood.
"Impatiently" she agrees. But I see the look on her face, she understands, but she won't let it go.
I take a few seconds to recompose myself and follow her to the kitchen, where Prim shows me the drawing, she's made on the paper I left her and that she would like to reproduce on her cookies.
The three of us get down to business decorating the cookies, with Prim laughing as she attempts to draw using the pipping bag and ruinning the first two cookies. Even Katniss seems to be having fun, designing basic leaves and flowers on hers.
I finish mine way faster, not my first rodeo. So, I let them proceed while I make a jar of hot chocolate.
"I though we could try them, have you judge them" I say when they're finish and pour three cups of hot chocolate.
"What is that?" Prim asks.
"Hot chocolate, you have to taste it, it's delicious."
They both look at the cup suspiciously, which makes me laugh, but they both take a sip anyway.
"Oh, this is better than the cookies." Katniss, who has since gained chocolate whiskers nods approvingly. "This is the best thing I've ever drank."
"You have whiskers like buttercup" Prim laughs. "So do you, little duck" Katniss gives her a little pinch of affection.
"Oh Peeta, before I forget, mum asked us to invite you to dinner tomorrow. She says to thank you for today and she also wants to have a look at your arm, see how it's healing."
"She doesn't have to trouble herself with that. But I'll happily accept, if you'll have me and if you don't mind" No matter that her mother invited, I look to Katniss for confirmation she's alright with it.
"Sure, if my mother invited you, you should come."
I can't believe my luck, getting to see Katniss two days in a row. Plus, I enjoyed greatly the short time I spent with the two other Everdeen ladies.
"We should be going now little duck, it's getting dark, and we still have a long way to go. Say goodbye to Peeta".
"Bye Peeta, we'll see you tomorrow. Thank you for the cookies and the chocolate."
"You're welcomed any time. Just please take the rest of the cookies, they're too much for me, I can't eat them all, please."
"See you tomorrow" we say to each other when I take them to the door and say goodbye to Katniss.
I take the fish she gave me this morning, clean it, and place it into the oven for dinner. I make a salad to go with the fish and when the latter is ready, I take everything to Haymitch's where we have dinner together. We talk for a couple of hours. Sae's been in and gave the house a much-needed scrub and with her brought news.
The summer is almost gone, and the most recent movements of the peacekeepers predict a harsh winter. There's talk about increasing the coal production to supply the capitol and a harsher rationing of food and supplies. He warns me to start thinking of any supplies I want shipped from the Capitol and to place orders as soon as possible. To think about my family and see what I can order to help them through the winter.
I make note, to talk to my father and brothers the following day, warn them and see what I can do for them. Same thing goes for the Everdeens. Contrary to my family I can't offer to buy anything for them, so for any help I hope to provide, I need first to come up with some kind of trading arrangement for them to accept it.
He again advises me to be careful with the bread and with the people I am helping. To think of other ways to help people and gives the example of him and Sae and the deal they have worked out.
I promise to think about it and leave when we finish our dinner. At home, I take one of Mrs. Everdeens pills and am out like a light.
The next morning, with my illicit activities finished, I make my way to the bakery, taking with me the squirrel that Katniss gave me and half of the strawberries. My father has a special affection for them. When I arrive, I go around to the back of the kitchen and am lucky enough not only to find my father is in there but also that my mother is not present as she went to have tea with a neighbor.
My older brother is also there, and after storing what I brought, my father serves all three of us a cup of tea and the cookies they did not sell yesterday. Dad explains Naan, his middle child, is not present as he's making deliveries. We either do them first thing in the morning when the bakery is opening and the goods are still hot from the oven, or after lunch (which is the case now), when the bakery has less to no movement. It's also why they can afford to rest for a little bit and share a cup of tea with me. Also, as he only has classes in the mornings, the period after lunch suits him perfectly for deliveries.
I explain what Haymitch told me, the expectations for a very hard winter and ask my father how I can help regarding any supplies they might need both for home and the bakery. He gives me a list of ingredients he would like me to procure from the capitol and promises to put in his orders for flour with anticipation.
They express how sad they are to not see me more; Rhys gives my father an ear full on how we should make the most of the time they gained with me and not push me away. That I can't be blamed for the things I said and did during the games as they brought me home. And most importantly that he sees no harm in what I said.
"So, what if he likes the girl from the Seam? I say good for him. From what I hear she's more capable than most. She's resilient, knows how to survive and keeps to herself. If you ask me, mother is being dumb acting the way she is. It's us who are losing not them." As I did not expect that reaction from him, I simply stare while my father sadly agrees with him and promises to talk to my mother again.
He then stands up and apologizing says how it was a pleasure to spend this very brief moment with me and that he'll do everything in its power to see me more often. I repeat that they're always more than welcome to stop by the house whenever they want and, as he doesn't live in the bakery anymore I ask Rhys to bring his wife to dinner one of these days.
Back home, I start thinking of my dinner invitation for tonight, and not wanting to go empty ended, on what I should take with me.
Remembering how much they enjoyed the hot chocolate I decide on a simple and quick chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.
Opening the fridge door to gather the necessary cake ingredients, I come across the goat's cheese Prim offered me and an idea pops into my head. Living up to my baker ethos, I quicky make a small batch of buns and leave them to rise.
With the cake ready, I go back to the tiny buns, which had now enough time to rise, fill them with bits of cheese and place them in the oven.
I'm a little reticent about bringing a new, untested recipe to dinner, but having tried one and not dislike the result, I pack them along with the cake and head to dinner.