Damon's head pounded as if a hammer had been thrown to his skull. He could not fathom the pain and then remembered the sharp sensation of rippling before he'd blacked out. He groaned, clutching his head and realized he was on the couch in his study.

Then, at once, he realized something was wrong. Very wrong. The life was gone. The grief, the sadness, the hatred, the anger, all of it was gone. Damon almost swayed forward from the realization and he nearly stumbled onto the floor.

He felt empty, centuries of emptiness that he'd come to know. All he could feel was himself, there was no essence of Bonnie inside of him any longer. When he looked up he thought his mind was beginning to torture him as well, as the source of his misery sat across from him, her arms crossed and her head cocked in concentration.

While his mind had conjured the image of her mere feet away, Bonnie felt farther from him than ever. There was nothing but an invisible wall between them and try as he might, he couldn't break it down to get to her. Her face was void of any emotion as she looked at him and Damon wondered briefly if he was finally dying, that if in his final moments, a lifeless Bonnie was going to be his punishment in the afterlife.

"How do you feel?" she asked, in the same real voice he had come to know so well.

The little bird was real, inside his home and she no longer looked afraid. She looked, satisfied. Bonnie's eyes lit up with realization and she unfolded her arms to look at him closely.

"What have you done?" Damon's wretched voice hit her.

He had a thousand questions and energy for none. He wanted to lunge at her and beg her to make this stop, that he understood the punishment, he would take the torture, but he needed her back. Now.

Bonnie flinched, Damon sounded as if he'd been gasping for air.

"I got rid of you."

She said it as a matter of fact, as if it had meant nothing as if she hadn't ripped the only thing from him that had mattered.

"H-how?"

"I got someone's help."

Damon's head swam and then he fell forward, onto his knees before her. It seemed to be the place where he belonged when it came to the little bird, on his knees, always, forever. The emptiness he had condemned to her had now been returned to him, almost thrice fold. He clawed inside himself to find any piece of her, any semblance of her humanity, but the dull thud of his lack of humanity laughed back at him. She had ripped herself from him. Bonnie had done it without so much a second thought.

"How could you do that? How could you?"

Bonnie had the good sense of looking confused. "I did what had to be done. You'll never know anything of me or about me from this day forward Damon. I escaped you and now you have your vampire self back in full force. No wretched humanity for you to cling to. That's what you wanted right? Now you can move on to find Katherine in peace, wholly yourself."

Damon nearly growled, the dullness of his inhumanity feeding his supernatural rage. He wanted to rip her throat with his bare hands for condemning him once again. He had forgotten these past few months what it had been like to exist without all of this emotion. Damon had become addicted to it all, her rage, her hatred, her compassion, her joy, her warmth. It had been the one thing keeping him from drowning completely since the night of the comet. Bonnie had brought him a glimpse of the life that had been ripped from him, and now she'd ripped it from him almost as callously as Stefan had. And even then, even amid his own rage and need to hurt her, he could never hate her. Damon could never bring himself to do anything to truly harm her.

"Stefan," she said next, with a finality that chilled Damon to the bone.

He heard shuffling behind him and then at once the sharp pain of something entering his body. The last thing Damon saw before he fell, were Bonnie's green eyes looking back at him, void of any warmth he once saw in them.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do Bonnie?" Stefan asked her again, pulling over to her house.

Bonnie took a deep breath and turned to Stefan, giving him a small smile. She nodded, tears lacing her eyes. Stefan reached forward, his cold hand landing on her shoulder in reassurance.

As soon as Damon had fallen from pain before him, Bonnie had been at the door of the Salvatore mansion. The truth Elena had been searching for was in front of him. That Bonnie had sought out Indira for help. That Bonnie had been unable to break the bond on Damon's end, instead she had found a way to mask it.

"When he wakes up he's going to think the bond is severed because he won't feel anything. It's not severed, from what Indira told me, whatever Damon and I have both been sitting with are the remnants of the bond and that might never actually end. But it does mean that his immortality does not affect my mortality, and vice versa. It also means that there are counter spells to mask the effects of whatever is left of the bond, for me and most importantly for him," Bonnie had explained to him.

"What does that mean?" Stefan had asked.

"It means that the bond won't go away, but at least for the foreseeable future, Damon will think it's gone. Indira said it would take a lot for the 'mask' to break and for Damon or me to feel the remnants of the bond again, but she did say this spell was powerful enough to keep me off Damon's radar. And for him to be dropped from mine. I didn't tell Elena because I knew she would convince me otherwise, but I can't do this Stefan. I need to leave and I need to know it's somewhere, anywhere, Damon can't find me."

"I need you to help me, Stefan. I- I can't stay here anymore. I need to leave, at least for a little bit, to get my head straight, to learn or to figure this all out I don't know anymore. I need to get out of here without him knowing, can you help me, Stefan?"

"Bonnie I know you blame him, I do too, but he can't- He isn't capable of hurting you. I know it. I know that seems impossible to understand but-"

"I know Stefan," she'd replied with conviction, "but I can't afford to have him know or look for me. Whatever it is he thinks he feels, whatever it is I think I feel, I can't let that get in the way of what I deserve right now. And I deserve to breathe."

"Nobody knows where I'm going except for Liz. It's safer that way, maybe for all of us. I'll be back, Grams is here and I need your word you'll keep her safe, but Liz is the only one who knows."

"I know this is asking a lot of you Stefan and I know it's another betrayal on Damon's laundry list, but please, please, give me a chance to do this on my terms."

Bonnie had begged for his help and Stefan, sworn to Sheila with utmost loyalty, had conceded to keep her safe.

"You have my number on speed dial?" Stefan asked, clearing his throat to give Bonnie some reprieve.

She almost laughed, nodding once more and then before even realizing it, throwing herself into Stefan's arms. He held her there, this small, fierce girl, and whispered, "You're okay, I promise."

"You'll text us all once you get there. Elena will not sleep until she's seen you on facetime. I know Liz is staying with you the first week, but if you need anything Bonnie, anything at all, you know I'll be there. Quicker than you can blink," Stefan stressed, stroking Bonnie's curls as he reassured her.

"I know," she mumbled, pulling away from their embrace and looking so much like the sixteen-year-old child he knew well. The Bonnie that had appeared before Damon was the one who could not afford to fall apart, the one before Stefan now was the one who could allow herself this moment of vulnerability.

"Can I ask you something?" Stefan pushed, almost hitting himself for his abrasiveness.

Bonnie nodded again, pulling her sweater close around her.

"Do you think you'll always hate him?"

Her head jerked in Stefan's direction, caught off guard by his question. I don't know, was her first thought.

When she thought back to the man she had come to know in those cold Serbian mountains, she knew that Damon was a slave to his own worst impulses. That, in the end, he had done what he needed to do to feel a semblance of what he thought was unfairly ripped from him. It did not make it okay. It did not make the fact that Grams was still held somewhere beyond Bonnie's reach, understandable. Bonnie knew that if Sheila had died, her rage would be insurmountable, that perhaps she would have hurt Damon in the process of her grief.

But her grief, while palpable, was also enough to fuel her to find the answers she needed to bring Grams back. It was enough to not hate Damon enough for a lifetime. Bonnie hated him now and she knew that if she even so much as accidentally saw him again, she would bring him to his knees in pain again.

"I don't know," she confessed quietly, hoping Stefan wasn't able to see the parts of her that had become so permanently intertwined with Damon. The Bonnie that had shared smiles with the vampire that had been so selfish, so monstrous in his obsession, he'd thought of no one else. The Bonnie, who had admittedly, wanted nothing more than to be touched by him, held by him, and kissed by him.

The Bonnie that had given parts of herself to the monster that had stolen her away from the only home she'd ever known.

"I just know that I can't stand him inside of me anymore," she tearfully admitted and Stefan nodded, opening his door to bring Bonnie inside.

As Bonnie neared her home, the one she would now walk away from, it was bustling with joy. Matt was in the kitchen, packing what she assumed were snacks for her journey. Tyler and Caroline seemed to be folding things in her living room, laughing in a manner that seemed almost intimate. How much had Bonnie missed in her absence? How much would she continue to miss?

Elena opened the door and ran towards Bonnie, holding her softly against her warm body. Bonnie didn't fight it, she leaned into the embrace wholly, allowing herself to be held by her best friend.

"We've got everything you need packed," Elena said, pulling away to look at Bonnie with a concerned look. "Do you think you're ready to say goodbye to Grams now?"

Bonnie took a shaky breath in and nodded, pulling Elena to her side as she walked into her home arm-in-arm with her best friend. Elena must have worked in code with the rest of the group as they quietly let Bonnie slip up the stairs. Bonnie rounded the corner, walking into Grams room with her heart heavy.

Grams looked peaceful as if she'd been sleeping this whole time. Something about what had happened had kept Grams in the same state she had been. There was no need to keep her sustained through nutrients or anything medical, she seemed to be suspended in a state that kept her alive. As if she were a princess under a curse, waiting for true love's magic to run its course.

"Hey Grams," Bonnie greeted softly, her voice breaking.

She sat down beside Sheila, holding Sheila's hand in her own. "I hope you can hear me. I hope you have been able to hear me these past few weeks."

"I'm uh- I'm going away for a little while Grams. I'm not sure how long," Bonnie started, explaining as if Sheila truly could hear her.

Going away where child? she could almost her Grams say and Bonnie nearly giggled through her thick tears.

"Liz is going to get me out of here Grams. I can-" she broke apart, her voice catching in her throat with heaviness, "I can't be the witch I need to be if I stay here."

"Liz got me transferred to a school in Ann Arbor. I'll finish out my senior year there, working until I can afford a place on my own. Liz said she'd take care of everything for you and me, but I want to be able to do this a little on my own too. I hope that it's okay Grams. I'm sorry I'm leaving you for right now, but I promise I'll be back. I just need to get out of here," Bonnie pleaded.

"The house is protected now, no one can get in or out unless it's someone I've already invited in the past two days. Liz will check in on you every hour, making sure that nothing is wrong. I have a live feed of you too, on my phone just in case. I'll call you every day Grams. I'll make sure you can hear my voice and know that I'm doing okay."

"I promise I'm not giving up on you Grams. I'm trying to figure out how to do this on my own, away from here. Maybe with the help of other witches. I know there's a coven in New Orleans that I can contact when I feel more confident," Bonnie continued, her tears slicking the hand that held Sheila's.

"Please don't hate me Grams," Bonnie begged quietly, bowing her head so that her forehead rested against Sheila's hand, "I love you so much and I promise I will be here when you wake up. I'm going to bring you back. I promise okay? I promise."

"Bon, you ready? Mom's got all your clothes in the trunk and the spare key alongside her billion other keys! Let's go!" Caroline called from the bottom of the staircase.

Bonnie shook her head, wiping her tears quickly. Reluctantly she let go of Sheila's hand, bending to kiss her grandmother's forehead softly.

"I love you," she whispered, stroking Sheila's curls softly, before walking out of the room with her resolve built.

The sun had found its way into every corner of the Bennett home this morning as if it knew that Bonnie was saying goodbye to the house that she had known for sixteen years. She wanted to memorize it all, every last corner and speck of dust. Though she knew that she would be back, that the home was always hers, it still hurt to know that in a way, so much had begun and ended in those four walls. Bonnie walked into her room for the last time, picking up her grimoire and tucking it in her arms. She looked over the window and the image of Damon's crow came to her abruptly. Unnerved she pulled the curtains to block her room out of view from anyone's prying eyes. With one last look, she turned away from her room, closing the door softly behind her.

Descending the stairs she watched her friends, her best friends, running around furiously to get her things packed into Liz's car. As they caught sight of her, their furious movements stopped and Bonnie held her breath to keep from crying.

Caroline surged forward holding Bonnie tightly, "I promise I only begged mom five times to tell me where, no more than that okay? And I packed all the cute clothes you need for winter for now because you shouldn't be packing your entire closet to take with you. After all, you're not going for forever. So when we need to switch out your clothes we can do that when the season changes and you come back to visit. Also, I packed those cute boots you liked so much on me and I threw out those ugly ones you got on sale from Payless. I'm sorry okay I love you so much and they were hideous!"

Bonnie laughed softly into Caroline's shoulder and held her tighter, "I love you Care."

"Ew," Caroline whined, her voice thick with tears, "You're going to make me cry!"

"My turn then," Matt spoke firmly, holding Bonnie's small face in his large hands.

"I love you Bonbear, you know I've always got you." Bonnie nodded, clinging to the fabric of Matt's shirt as she hugged him, and suddenly she was being held from behind.

"I swear Bonnie if you don't get yourself back here by spring I'll come kill you myself," Tyler muffled into her shoulder. Bonnie laughed freely then, her tears still tracing down her cheeks, but lighter than they had been before.

She took a step back, looking at her best friends, assured that no matter what they would keep her and Grams safe. They walked out with her and Elena held her hand as Bonnie turned back to look at her home. She locked the door quietly and stood in front of it for a beat too long. Under her breath, Bonnie uttered the last of the wards she needed to secure her home in place.

Sheila was still in this home. She lay in her room, still as ever, heart soundly beating. The wards were in place for the creatures that did not belong, the ones her ancestors had always called abominations. No wolf, no crow, no vampire could enter the Bennett home without Bonnie knowing.

Liz had the only key made for the locks Bonnie had crafted, her responsibility lying in ensuring Sheila was taken care of in Bonnie's absence. Her friends had easy access to the home, the locks had all been changed by both Matt and Tyler in the past day and only one key existed, with Elena. They would all enter the home together and exit it together.

"We'll take care of her Bon, I promise," Elena said confidently and Bonnie believed her, even if her heart ached to not let go.

As Bonnie got herself into the passenger seat, her friends descended on her.

"Remember to text as soon as you get there. You also need to do a Facetime call once you've showered. We'll make sure you see Grams before you get to bed tonight but you need to show each of us your face before that okay?" Elena tried to confirm as Caroline's sobs broke through the air.

"I promise," Bonnie finally spoke and then without a second glance in their direction, Bonnie turned away from her friends to hide her breaking heart.

As Liz pulled out of her long driveway, she held Bonnie's hand the entire time, anchoring her from the sorrow.

"I'm just worried that she's eating on time okay?"

Damon groaned, turning in his bed and infinitely annoyed that he could hear the doppelganger's voice first thing in the morning. He wanted nothing more than to drown himself in some girl's neck and drink until high noon to stop the pounding in his head. Damon pulled himself up in bed and as his eyes settled on the belongings in his room, he felt displaced.

This was his room, these were his things and he was most certainly in his bed, but something was so obviously off-kilter that it was maddening that he could not place what it was. At once his mind went to Bonnie, her small frame, the anger in her eyes and then the sudden memory of her sitting across from him with her arms closed around her.

I got rid of you, she'd said with steely determination. And he'd felt it. The lack of her. The emptiness of himself and only himself. He had felt her ripping away from him as if something had taken a slow knife to his veins and pulled her emotions one by one, out from inside of him until nothing was left.

The dull ache inside of him was now his alone, no longer privy to the human heart that belonged to the witch.

"I know Elena but you have to trust her to be able to do this on her own."

Damon's head snapped in the direction of the conversation happening downstairs and he was out of bed in an instant.

"Who can do what on her own?" he kept his tone deliberately light, looking between Stefan and Elena carefully.

He saw Elena tense up as if Damon had asked the wrong question and her eyes gave her away.

"Who are you talking about?" Damon demanded and suddenly the air in the kitchen had gone cold.

"Damon, listen-" Stefan began but Damon slammed his hand hard on the kitchen counter.

"Where is she?" Damon threatened, his tone now hard and his brain working over time.

Bonnie had mentioned to the sheriff that she no longer wanted to stay in this town, had she done all of this in preparation? Had she ripped the bond from him so she could leave in peace, thinking he wouldn't be able to find her?

"Damon we can't tell you," Elena confessed, nervousness colouring her stolen features.

"Now, what do you mean you can't tell me," Damon taunted, rounding the counter so he was closer to her trembling form.

Stefan stood up immediately, shielding Elena from Damon's line of sight. "We don't know Damon, no one does."

"You're lying," Damon spat, anger surging through him again. "Now don't make me ask again Stefan."

"He's not lying Damon. We don't know. No one does. We sent her away and she was gone," Elena's voice trembled, sorrow forcing it's way out of her.

"Well someone must have taken her because there's no way she was planning all of this without anyone knowing where she was headed," Damon countered, desperation taking hold of him now.

"Why do you even care Damon?" Elena argued back and her accusation nearly made Damon falter.

"Katherine's not here and all you needed from Bonnie was to open that stupid tomb. You got your answers, so what could you possibly need Bonnie for now?" Elena continued, her tone now dripping with disgust.

How could he ever begin to explain to this insipid, vapid girl that her best friend was someone Damon had begun to need. That Bonnie Bennett had slowly destroyed any semblance of a nomad life Damon had created for himself. That their bond had brought him back from an edge he didn't even know he was precariously dangling on this entire time.

"Where is she Katherine 2.0 or I swear to god those brown eyes are going to need a helluva lot of surgery before they're able to see again!" Damon bellowed.

Stefan sighed as if Damon's threats were empty and powerless in this conversation. "We told you, Damon, we don't know. Even the one person who did know, Bonnie cast a spell to make her forget."

Damon's ears perked up at that admission of truth, "Who?"

Stefan shook his head, "It doesn't matter. She can't be compelled. Bonnie placed a talisman on her to protect her from it if her spell failed. She took all the precautions necessary."

"Who?" Damon bit out, unfazed by the rest of the truth.

"Liz Forbes," Stefan admitted and his easy confession made Damon's head spin. Bonnie had covered her bases if Stefan was so willing to give up information that easily. He truly didn't know where the young witch was.

"And her Grams? Sheila? She just left her here?" Damon asked, feeling ridiculous with his never-ending questions.

"Grams is taken care of by us and Liz. We have access to the home, well all of us except Stefan," Elena shared and Damon looked at his brother strangely.

"She revoked your invitation?" Damon asked, finally feeling less alone in this isolation Bonnie seemed to have imposed on him.

"Yes and no. She warded the home. Nothing unhuman can get in. The spell is heavy and the wards she's placed in every corner of the home double down on the protection. I can't walk through the doors of that home, even if she decided to invite me. She would have to lift the wards to do so," Stefan explained and Damon suddenly felt cold.

"It's to keep everything out while she's not here to look after Sheila physically."

"So she'll be back then? You said while she's not here. Is she planning to come back?"

Damon flinched from the sound of his voice and the desperation that clung to it. He felt sick, he felt betrayed and he felt so utterly alone without her inside of him.

"I don't know Damon, maybe," Stefan shared and Damon knew he was telling the truth.

Stefan, she'd commanded right before Damon had been knocked out.

"Did you put vervain through my system yesterday?"

"It was a week ago, but yes," came Stefan's easy response.

A week? Damon nearly threw the plate before him at his brother's head but refrained. A week's worth of vervain had been in his system? It was also possible that Bonnie had done something to him as well, to keep the vervain effects drawn out.

"She asked you to do it didn't she?"

"Yes."

"So I wouldn't know, so she could leave without me interfering," Damon continued, now no longer questioning.

Stefan nodded. "Yes."

"I've nearly killed you for less brother," Damon said lightly, exhaustion seeping through his bones, the fight leaving him altogether.

"I know," Stefan replied with finality.

"It was her birthday, a few weeks ago it was her birthday," Damon finally said again and Elena's eyes burrowed into him.

"We know, we didn't celebrate it, she didn't want to," Elena explained, her voice becoming strained now with defensiveness.

"She wants to go to NYU," he offered again, looking Elena in the eyes and she flinched. Damon knew that none of Bonnie's friends had been privy to that information, she'd told him that herself.

"How do you know that," Elena bit out, anger now surfacing.

"Well, she told me, she told me she wanted to leave Mystic Falls. She's going to study chemistry or maybe English, or maybe both."

"I- I don't understand," Elena said, confusion swimming through her as she tried to understand the weight behind Damon's words.

How could Elena not have thought of the fact that in the nearly three months Bonnie was gone, she would have spoken to Damon. Would have told him her fears, her small talk, anything to keep herself from going insane, and she had told him something she hadn't been able to tell her friends.

Damon eyed Elena, watching her mind go into overdrive to figure out what could have possibly transpired between him and Bonnie. He felt a sickening satisfaction holding something over Elena Gilbert's head and the dull ache inside of him subsided just a twinge.

"You better pray to every god there is, that wherever Bonnie finds herself, she's completely safe. I'm not the only villain looking for a powerful witch to do his bidding, remember that."

With that final word, Damon turned on his heel and left the kitchen, itching to be away from the suffocating charade of humanity Stefan seemed to cling to.

FIVE MONTHS LATER

The apartment was small. The door opened to a narrow hallway, adjoining which was a kitchen with no wall leading to a small living space. There was a bathroom next to the front door that had everything Bonnie would need. She preferred this. She wanted this. A space to call her own, a space that was her own. She could see every inch of the apartment at all times and it was more than enough. There were no surprises, everything had its perfect spot.

It hadn't been difficult waving a magical hand to get what she needed. No one at her new school had asked questions, no one had asked where her guardians were as Liz had taken care of that. Bonnie had wanted a sense of normalcy for so long it was odd to finally settle into it. She was nearing the end of her junior year, her books stacked in a pile on her kitchen island. Liz, Caroline and Elena found ways to send things to Bonnie every week. They were clever enough to not get caught, with no one on their tail trying to find their way to her. Mystic Falls only knew that after Sheila's 'death', Bonnie had gone far away in an attempt to forget the devastation of her life. No one knew where she was, no one would ever know where she was.

Bonnie brewed herself a small cup of chamomile tea, watching her potted plants from the corner of her eyes. She had found that being further from Mystic Falls had rejuvenated the magic she held. Every time she fed her magic to the plants, they grew three times their size right before her eyes. Her connection to nature had lend itself to the air. When she'd arrived the grass on the outsides of her apartment building was yellow and dead, but a few weeks later it had grown in healthy. Stronger than most of the residents had thought it could be. Bonnie had become weary of her magic as if it leaked from her into the air.

She was terrified someone would find her, that her body notwithstanding her magic would betray her. Bonnie had shared her concerns with Emily, who'd told her that while her wards protected Sheila, the Other Side was filled with witches protecting their last heir. Bonnie was that last heir, the last surviving Bennett.

"Nothing will hunt you child," Emily had reassured her.

Bonnie shook her head and sent Elena a quick message before turning in for the night. She made the seven small steps to her bed that sank in the corner of her living space. Bonnie had ultimately been lazy in getting perhaps some of the essentials she needed, a bed frame had been one of them. But months of sleeping on the floor with her mattress had felt cozy, and she'd become accustomed to the low sinking feeling of falling asleep knowing nothing could be under her makeshift bed.

In the months that she had been here, she'd also become fast friends with a few of her neighbours. There was the young couple with a small daughter whom Bonnie babysat every few days to make a quick buck. The older woman to Bonnie's left reminded her so much of Grams that it almost broke her heart. Lastly, the tattoo artist whose large retriever would bring Bonnie broken things he found in an attempt to appease her.

Five months she'd been here, nearly twice the amount of time she had spent locked away in the mountains with Damon.

Bonnie sighed as she took in the storm-filled afternoon. Classes had been cancelled due to the storm and so she'd gotten the excuse to just lay in bed and watch romances her Grams used to love.

There were times when Bonnie would just forget. Forget what had happened months ago. Forget what her life had been like, how it had turned upside down, how she'd nearly died and lost her sanity.

Forget Damon Salvatore.

But just as the moment slipped away, she would remember again. In the middle of remembering an equation, she would remember Grams soft hands against her cheeks. While she lay in bed right before sleep, Bonnie would turn to face the wall and she'd remember the crystalline blue of Damon's eyes and all the nights that they'd shared the same bed and never touched.

Insane perhaps, but sometimes she'd hear him mid-laugh in a conversation with her new friends. She would become sharply aware of his sarcastic voice lurking around in her memory, and she'd fight to breathe, to drown out the sound of him that had never left her.

Because he had never left her. Not even after choking to death on his poisoned blood. He was there when she closed her eyes for far too long. He was present during the nights she couldn't sleep, watching her silently from her bed. Bonnie feared he would never leave her, that the undead ghost of him would haunt her forever. But she feared most that one day she would wake up and he would be gone from her memory. That nothing of him would be left inside of her.

She had assumed that the bond being masked, being nearly ripped away from them both, would have been enough to put him behind her. Bonnie had even googled her symptoms chalking it up to some supernatural version of Stockholm syndrome. It had been months since she'd so much as even felt a shimmer of Damon's emptiness, but it had done nothing to ease the effect she still sat with.

"Will you kill me little bird?" his voice was so soft that Bonnie wanted to smooth it inside her and keep it forever, trapped between her ribs, just behind her lungs. Hidden, and just hers to keep.

"No."

Damon's eyes seemed to soften then, his lips parted as though to say something, but no sound came out.

"I'm sorry," he choked out.

Bonnie couldn't even bring herself to ask why, her throat was too tight and her head was pounding.

"I think I've poisoned you."

He had poisoned her and even in the dark, she was never truly alone.

Damon had been in this town for months, his sanity slowly slipping away with Bonnie's absence. He had spent the past few months looking for any trace of her, having abandoned any notion or motivation to look for Katherine. Katherine had lied to him, had condemned him to a life he had never wanted, and the tiny girl that had pushed him to realize it was now no longer anywhere to be found.

It was as if Bonnie had disappeared altogether. Damon was aware that her gang of friends spoke to her nearly every day, but he was no longer privy to those conversations. All phone calls happened strictly within the Bennett home and the wards Bonnie had put up around the house now ensured that nothing supernatural could so much as step onto her property, let alone enter her home. Any conversations that Damon had been desperate enough to eavesdrop on had been too far away for him, even with his supernatural senses.

He had staked outside the homes of the wretched Scooby gang, but not a single one had left town to presumably visit Bonnie. Damon had even gone back to speak to Sheriff Forbes, but as Stefan had promised, she could not be compelled and she truly could not remember where Bonnie was.

A month ago, bourbon in hand, Damon had decided it was New York. That Bonnie had wanted NYU so bad she might have begged to go there first, but a failed week of trespassing various high schools had led him no closer to her.

He'd gone so far as to apologize to the Scooby gang for terrorizing them in the months leading up to Bonnie's kidnapping and had become, begrudgingly, an acquaintance of the group. It killed him inside but he knew that the only way to Bonnie was to play in their good graces. So, Damon kept his killing to an all-time zero and his feeding to a relatively acceptable schedule.

Yet, nothing had changed. He found solace in the fact that Stefan was no closer to any conversations that were had with Bonnie, as like Damon, Stefan was not allowed on the Bennett property by magical authority. What Stefan did have, was Bonnie's number, a connection she'd only used once in the past months for an emergency. But at Bonnie's insistence, Stefan had not saved her number and had promptly deleted her call from his phone log, leaving Damon once again with nothing.

"Well, what did she sound like?" he'd asked, nearly begging for any information.

Stefan had sighed. "She needed some help figuring out an issue with a used car she just bought. Matt wasn't available so she called me."

Damon had scoffed. "So she called you? Why? Was she stranded on the side of the road?!"

Stefan's silence had been an admission of guilt and Damon nearly pummelled his brother. "You are supposed to be protecting her!"

"She doesn't need protecting Damon, she just needed some help. She was on her way back home minutes after our call and she had her nightly video call with Sheila on time."

"She's seventeen, she doesn't know what she needs!"

"And she's a witch. She knows more than you think she does. Three months locked away in a cabin surrounded by zero civilization does not make you an authority on her. Bonnie knows what she's doing, can you at least trust her in that?"

The words had been an angry wake-up call and Damon had conceded.

"I'm going grocery shopping, do you want anything?" Stefan called out to Damon from the backyard.

Damon peered through the open window of their study, watching his brother lift his keys.

"Pancake mix," Damon yelled back.

It was the only thing Damon had asked for, for months, and Stefan had obligingly brought it without question.

Damon would have pancakes for every meal, he found it was the only thing he could stomach alongside bourbon. Stefan had struggled immensely with Damon's moods after Bonnie's departure, but he had levelled off a bit in the last month. The pancakes were a peace offering that seemed to keep Damon at bay from doing anything stupid.

Damon watched the season in full bloom outside his window. It had once been winter, a cold hell that he'd trapped Bonnie in. As he watched the heat simmer in the mid-afternoon sun, Damon couldn't materialize his memories into reality. Damon was aware of one certain truth above all, if he ever saw Bonnie again, they'd find themselves back in the Siberian winter and no one would rip her from him. Not even Bonnie's own hard-fought will.

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

"You know that boy has a crush on you right?"

Bonnie shook her head, laughing at the insinuation as she cleared the table of its plates. Hosting had its pros as a part-time job, and Bonnie often found herself cleaning alongside her waitress colleagues.

"Clara that boy is a sophomore in college!" Bonnie giggled, adding the plates to Clara's cart.

Clara rolled her eyes, her rough red curls flowing as she shook her head. "Marcus has had the hots for you since he came back from school and asked you for a table for two."

"Yeah, did you forget the part that he was on a date?" Bonnie asked incredulously.

"I didn't but I think he sure did," Clara laughed.

"And what about the various other dates he's brought since that time?" Bonnie pushed.

"Semantics," Clara scoffed.

Bonnie giggled, her laughter filling the empty dining space. She found herself catching the evening view outside the upscale restaurant's windows. A clear view of the mountain range came into sight, with the glaciers shining bright under the moonlight. Even in the peak of summer, the icy mountain tops brought her a sick, twisted comfort. Damon's voice haunted her less but the cold nights she could turn to him were far worse in her memory. The stain in her soul would not get out.

She had been lucky still, to find this job through an acquaintance from her school. The expensive restaurant's pay helped foot her bill, and the tips she split with the wait staff went a long way for pocket change. It wasn't always enough, but Bonnie made it work when she needed to.

"In any case, dating is the last thing on my mind. You know that," she chided Clara.

"Yes. Of course. Studious Bonnie who has to finish her last year of high school faster than everyone else so she can start majoring in genius. How could I ever forget?"

Clara had been the closest thing to a friend that Denver had had to offer, and Bonnie had welcomed her infectious smile with open arms.

"Not leaving this place without you Clara," Bonnie called back to her.

"You're going to have to drag me to New York or LA, or wherever else your smart ass ends up!"

Bonnie grinned in response. They finished the rest of their cleanup without much fanfare, bidding farewell to the rest of the closing staff. Clara always walked Bonnie home, never asking her questions, but always remaining steadfast in her presence.

"Do you want to spend the night today? We can watch movies or do a spa night?" Clara asked excitedly, holding Bonnie's hand as she asked.

"Sure." Clara frowned at the quick answer. "You always say yes and I think it's cause you like my backyard more than me!"

Bonnie laughed. "You're half right. I love your backyard but not nearly as much as you."

What Bonnie couldn't tell Clara was that her house backed into a forest. Bonnie felt closer to her powers, stronger, when she was near nature. Denver sat at the foot of mountains, but her rudimentary routine had deprived her of its trails in the seven months she'd been here. It was also a reprieve from being alone. Around Clara and her mother, Bonnie did not always feel as haunted by the ghost of her past. There were even moments she forgot about Damon altogether while in their presence. What Bonnie let Clara believe, was that her hot tub and pool were the reason Bonnie always said yes to being at her place.

"Alright let's go. I've still got your stash of things in my room and we can pull up mattresses in the living room. Mom is gonna be so happy. She thinks your genius will rub off on me somehow," Clara joked, rushing Bonnie along.

It was an open secret that Clara's family had taken to Bonnie easily. Clara's mother had welcomed her happily, convinced that Bonnie's influence on Clara would calm some of her wild ways. Yet Clara remained wild like the wind, it was why Bonnie enjoyed being with her so much. Clara's life was so different from Bonnie's, so normal, that she craved the little cracks in Clara's life. Being her friend meant shedding some of the larger pieces of her own life behind, and at times it felt good. Bonnie felt every bit of her age around Clara, reckless and fun, and it made the hurt feel dull inside her.

Clara had introduced Bonnie to her mother as the only junior who was doing night college classes to get ahead. Bonnie had been bashful but ultimately had basked in Clara's mother's attention. In many ways, Julia reminded her of Liz, as in a short time any new achievement Bonnie surpassed, Clara showed off with pride to her mother. Julia, in turn, would reward them both with a movie night.

This night was like many others. Bonnie spent the evening watching movies alongside Clara and her mother. They ate a junk-filled feast and Bonnie fell asleep nestled in the pillows between Clara and her. When the deep hold of slumber finally hit, Bonnie felt afloat.

In her dream she found herself in Clara's backyard, and from afar she could hear a wolf's cry. She felt no danger instinct and instead followed the cry, beyond the fence that divided the yard from the forest. Bonnie could see clearly in the moonlight, its soft blue glow illuminating every corner of the forest. There was no animal afoot and if it weren't for the wolf's cry, she would have thought herself alone in the woods.

She could hear rushing water and wondered if a stream was nearby, and then wondered briefly how far she had wandered off. Bonnie couldn't remember how long she'd been walking but at once she stilled, every instinct in her body telling her to stop. She had been here before, many times, in Mystic Falls. Nights she'd woken on the forest floor. Nights where a crow's eyes followed her from a suffocating distance. Bonnie turned slowly and between the trees emerged her wolf. Its cerulean eyes pierced through her and she followed its soft steps.

The wolf stood tall and the closer it got to her, the more she realized its size was larger than any she'd ever come across before. Bonnie was compelled to step towards it, meeting the creature halfway on the dirt-ridden path. The wolf cocked its head, almost in question of her courage. By all means, its size meant it could devour her whole, but instead, it watched her with curiosity.

"You were crying before," Bonnie spoke softly, her voice blending into the night.

Almost as if the wolf had furrowed its brows, it blinked, and then leapt towards her, at once closing the distance between them. Frightened, Bonnie yelped and crashed to the ground. The wolf towered over her, watching her closely as she sat up. She took in its thick coat of fur until her sight landed on a dark spot by its tail.

"You're hurt," she said. Instinctively, she reached forward to pet it but it flinched, stepping back.

Bonnie got on her knees and spoke, "Shh, it's okay. I can help."

She spoke under her breath, a spell that came as naturally to her as the moon shone in the night. The wolf hesitated as she sang her spell until finally it nestled its large head into her lap. Her small, soft hands glowed as they trailed its wound. The wolf's turbulent breathing eased as her hands remained firm. The wound disappeared beneath her palms and the wolf growled with what Bonnie believed was delight.

"See," she said.

The wolf jumped to all fours, its large head resting against hers. She buried herself in its warmth and she felt herself become lightheaded. Before she fell awake from her dream, all she could see were those cerulean eyes staring back at her with a human's warmth and a deep fear settled within her.

A/N: A wolf with blue eyes hmm... I wonder who exactly that could be? Also you couldn't have thought that I was done with this fic. I know it's been 12 years but it has never been abandoned .. just delayed. And now with a renewed passion as I watch Found on NBC, I think I've come into this with a more adult perspective than at 18 when I started this. There's much that needs to be addressed yet, and a lot more that needs to be paved.