JENNIE

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Somi was not happy. It wasn't a guessing game as to why she was angry, either. I was a good roommate. I overlooked the pitch-black windows when the sunshine should be lighting the room so I could see to get dressed, and the fact I had no space in the bathroom for my things, and the way she left her shoes and clothing draped all over the place—even my bed at times. Heck, I even accepted the furry pink pillow and ridiculous paintings she hung around the room.

So she had no reason to be mad at me. But she was. And it was all because of Lisa. She had begun picking me up in the morning and walking me to my first class. I didn't think much about it, other than it was really nice and saved me from going without coffee, because she always brought me some. However, the rest of the dorm was buzzing about it, because Lisa Manoban didn't do this.

But she was doing it with me.

Telling people we were just friends didn't seem right, either, because we were dating now. Not exclusively, but we were dating. I tried not to think about the exclusive thing too much. I didn't want to know who else she was seeing. For now, she seemed to be seeing only me.

When I came out of the bathroom the next Friday morning, Somi stood at the door with her hand on it like she wasn't going to let me leave the room. She was normally in bed at this time yelling at me to be quiet.

"Why you? What, do you have a magic vagina or something? Do you give world-class blow jobs? I mean, what is the deal here? I am a hundred times more attractive than you. I am fuck-worthy. Look at me!" She waved her hand down her body as if I should be taken in by the sight. "So why is Lisa seeing you over and over again? Lisa Manoban doesn't do that. She is a one-time fuck. Everyone knows that."

I knew the girl of whom we spoke was waiting on me downstairs. She had just sent me a text.

"Move. I have a class to get to."

Her face grew bright red and she slapped the door. "Answer me, damn it!"

I'd seen her pitch fits before, but this one was on its way to being her worst yet. "Possibly because I don't act like this."

She looked confused. "Like what?"

"A psycho bitch. Now move."

"Did you just call me a bitch?" she roared loudly. I was beginning to wonder who all could hear this and if a crowd had gathered outside our room to listen.

"Don't forget the psycho. That's really important."

Her eyes flashed pure hate, and I wondered if I had gone too far. I had never in my life been in a fight and I didn't want to have my first one now.

"You'll regret that. I always get what I want. Always."

That was a threat that didn't even make sense. What did she want? Lisa? She was in for disappointment.

"Noted. Can I leave now?"

She rolled her eyes and stepped away from the door.

When I opened it, three of the girls down our hall were standing there with big eyes, listening. I had figured as much. This would be all over campus by lunchtime. I'd have to tell Lisa about it. As silly as it was.

Lisa held out my coffee as I climbed into her Jeep. "You're late."

I was typically very punctual. "Somi" was my explanation before I took my first drink of coffee.

"Getting ready in the dark again," she said, already knowing my normal Somi woes.

"Nope. I have that mastered. Today she got up to threaten me about you. She's not happy about this," I said, pointing at the two of us. "You aren't supposed to see a girl more than once."

Lisa chuckled. "Yeah, she's a bit wack. That's why it took me a year to even give in to her constant flirting and just get it over with."

"Very romantic," I drawled.

She shrugged. "That's me. Ms. Romance."

I smirked and sipped more coffee. I wasn't rested enough for this class and I had a full day, then work tonight. I would finally be working without Chaeng, and I was nervous but looking forward to the tips.

"You working tonight?" she asked, and I nodded.

I almost expected her to ask what time I got off, but she didn't. She stayed quiet and we drank our coffee in silence. When she drove up to the building that was my stop, she leaned toward me. "Come here."

I met her halfway and she kissed me. The kind I'd come to expect every morning. The kind that made it hard to walk to class with her taste on my tongue and her scent still surrounding me. This was my favorite part of the morning.

"I'll see you later," she whispered against my lips as the kiss ended.

All I could do was nod. My breathing was still a little erratic. The best way to snap out of this was to think about how kissing Tae had never made me feel this way. It was what I had finally come to acknowledge while walking to my morning classes. It sobered me and reminded me that my life was changing. I was happy again. Without Taehyung.

I hadn't thought that was possible. To enjoy life without him. But I had my memories. Our childhood was a good one and those memories would always be there. Sometimes life throws changes our way that make us stronger and show us we don't always know what is best.

Sitting down in class, I got my laptop out of my book bag so I could get settled before the professor arrived. I had a routine. Set up my laptop, sign on to the Internet, and get my coffee in the right spot.

"She isn't the only one. Lisa's taking Babs to the Kappa Sigma party tonight. All she's talked about all week is Lisa Manoban asking her out. I think they're just friends."

The whisper had been a mock one. The girl wanted to act as if she didn't want me to overhear her, but the pitch in her voice said she definitely wanted my attention. If that was meant to hurt me or upset me, she had succeeded. Not because Lisa was doing anything wrong—she had made it clear that this wasn't exclusive. Simply because for me she was it. I couldn't kiss her and then go date someone else. I didn't want to. But she did. That hurt.

This was something Tae never would have done. I'd asked for this. I'd accepted it. But I wasn't sure I could actually do it.

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When Lisa texted me about meeting her for lunch, I gave her the excuse that I had a study group I needed to be at. She didn't argue and I didn't say any more. I even stayed at the library until the very last minute before changing and heading to work in case she came by the dorm to see me. I wasn't prepared to see her. Not with knowing she had a date tonight but kissed me this morning.

She'd have sex tonight. That was what she did. I knew this, yet I would kiss her every morning and in the afternoon when I saw her again. But how many of those times had she left me and gone to screw someone else? She hadn't tried to do anything but kiss me. She had a reputation for wild, hot sex, but she never touched more than my hand when she held it, my face when she kissed me, and sometimes my waist.

Maybe she wasn't sexually attracted to me. That had to be it. I thought she liked kissing me, but I was beginning to see that maybe it had been to make me feel better. Maybe the kissing didn't affect her like it did me. She wasn't overcome with lust and the need to do anything more. Tonight she would, though. She'd take the girl to her room and screw her. She'd tell everyone and I'd be her friend.

Fantastic.

My phone buzzed and I glanced down to see a text from her asking me where I was. I thought about ignoring her but decided against it. I told her I was headed to work.

She didn't say any more. Good. I didn't want to keep responding to her. It wasn't easy. I wanted to throw my phone every time I saw her name. And I shouldn't even be mad at her. It wasn't her fault. Just because I wanted more and she didn't. At least she'd been honest about it.

Luckily, my first night on the floor alone was so hectic I didn't have time to think about frat parties or Lisa Manoban. I was too busy remembering drink orders and how customers wanted their burgers cooked.

Pocketing three hundred dollars and forty-five cents in tips after tipping the bartender and busboys was nice. I hadn't expected tips like that, and although Chaeng had warned me that Friday nights were better than the other nights of the week, I still liked the money. I needed to work every Friday night.

That wasn't the only unexpected thing that happened that night. Only the first.

When I stepped out the back door to go to my car, Lisa was waiting on me. She was leaning up against the front of my car with her arms crossed over her chest and a serious expression on her face. She was supposed to be at her frat party. With her date.

I stopped and stared at her a moment. I wasn't sure I wanted this confrontation. She would only be here if she knew that I knew about her date. What, had she already screwed her and left her? Was she that shallow? Thought she could just come running to me afterward?

"Why are you here?" My words were angry. I couldn't pretend otherwise.

"Because I wanted to see you."

I shook my head and walked around her to my car door. "You saw me. Now go back to the girl good enough to fuck and leave me be." Ouch … that was not what I meant to say. The words were just flying out of my mouth without thought or hesitation.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, and that only made me angrier.

I jerked open my car door with way more force than was necessary and glared at her. "It means that I've changed my mind. I can't do this." I paused, then finished. "Whatever this is. I am not that girl. I will never be that girl."

My next course of action was to get in my car and drive off. Unfortunately, Lisa was faster than me and she was behind me with her hands on my arms, stopping me before I could move.

"You can't do what, Jennie? Say it! What is it you can't do?"

She wanted to hear it. Fine. I shook her off me and spun around. "I can't be the girl you keep around because you don't want her sexually while you go screw everyone else. I can't let you kiss me and then go sleep with some girl that turns you on. I don't do it for you. I'm not enough. FINE! I quit. I have more pride than this. I—"

Then her mouth was on mine and no more words were coming out. I put both hands on her chest to push her away, but she grabbed my wrists and held me there while she kissed me like I was her last breath. Like she couldn't get close enough to me. And it only took a few seconds of this intensity to melt into her and run my hands up her chest and into her hair.

Lisa's hands slid to my waist, then they moved lower, covering my bottom and jerking me flush up against her. The hard thickness that she pressed into my stomach was something I knew. I recognized it, and it told me one thing was certain: I did turn Lisa on.

I rubbed up against her, wanting to feel it. Feel her. The groan that came from her chest sent shivers through me, and I held on to her hair and tried to get even closer.

Her right hand slid down my thigh, then jerked it up by the knee until I was open to her. Until her hardness was pressing where I needed it most. I cried out against her lips and moved my hips so that the friction from the contact gave the pleasure my body was aching for.

"Fuck," Lisa muttered against my lips as she broke the kiss and began pressing a trail down my neck and toward my chest. My breaths were short and gasping with each inch she drew closer to my breasts. I wanted this. I wanted it with Lisa. I didn't care anymore about who she'd been with before. I just wanted her.

"Jennie," she whispered as she lifted her head to look up at me. I couldn't speak so I just met her gaze. "Get in my car."

I nodded, but my legs weren't sure they could work. Lisa picked me up and walked back to the dark area of the parking lot to her Jeep. Stopping at the passenger door, she dropped me back to my feet and pressed me up against the cool metal. "Let's get something straight. I've wanted to fuck you since the moment I laid eyes on you. The fact I didn't was out of respect, not lack of desire. You're different."

Oh.

Then her mouth was back on mine and her hand was at my shorts, unbuttoning them with smooth efficiency. We were in a parking lot at my place of work, and when my shorts began to slide down my legs, I waited until they hit the ground and stepped out of them. Lisa fell to her haunches and picked them up, then ran her hand up my bare leg until she reached the top.

I held my breath as she leaned in and kissed the pink satin of my panties. That was something I'd never done with Tae. We had just had sex a couple of times. Like everything else with Lisa, this was different. It was life-changing.

Lisa moved me against her as she opened the door behind me and then backed me up before picking me up and setting me in the seat. She slipped my panties down and tossed them onto the backseat, then placed a hand on each of my knees and slid them open. Exposing me to her. Something else I'd never done.

"I gotta taste you," she said with a hoarse whisper, before lowering to her knees and sinking her head between my legs. The first swipe of her tongue had me crying out her name and grabbing her head. That was unlike anything I'd ever had. I wanted more.

The more she kissed me there and ran her tongue in places that ached for her most, the more desperate I grew. Her name was the one thing I managed to cry out as my body sped tighter and higher toward release. I was willing to accept anything if I could feel like this.

Just as I thought I was going to scream and pull out all Lisa's hair, my world exploded and the release shot through me. I was left trembling as she kissed up my stomach, then pulled me into her arms. "You enjoyed that." Her voice sounded pleased and I gave a weak laugh.

"Yes." I stated the obvious.

"I did, too. And for now I'm going to let that be enough."

Wait. What?

"Don't be mad. I like you all soft and relaxed in my arms. I'm taking it slow with you, Jennie. You are different. I don't want to treat you like the others. I can't. My feelings … I just … I can't."

Could this be enough? Being with her like this and knowing she was with other girls, too? The idea of her touching someone else like she'd just done to me was breathtakingly painful. I wouldn't be able to handle it.

"I can't, either," I said, pulling away from her. "That was amazing … but I can't be with you this way and know I'm one of many."

Lisa sighed and took my face in her hands. I liked it when she did that. It was like she was claiming me. Telling me she cherished me. Wanted me. "You are the only one. I haven't been with anyone in two weeks. The more I'm with you, the more I want to be with you. Just you. I can't even stand being near other girls because they aren't you."

I wanted to believe that. It was beautiful. But it was a lie.

"I know about your date tonight."

She nodded. "Yeah. I figured. But did you know I canceled it this morning after I kissed you and dropped you off? I didn't want it. I just wanted you."

Oh.

She pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose. "It's just you, Jennie. For the first time in my life I'm not looking. I found what was missing."

My heart squeezed and I felt tears sting my eyes. I didn't want to cry, so I buried my head in her shoulder and inhaled. I felt safe. But more than that I was happy. Complete. And she wasn't Taehyung.

"Are you crying?" she asked, her voice sounding amused.

I shook my head, thankful no tears had fallen, and then looked up at her. "No."

She smiled down at me. "You're so fucking gorgeous it's distracting. Getting past all that and finding out you're beautiful inside. That there's this world you see through your eyes that I want to see. And I get to when I'm with you."

"Thank you," I said, emotion clogging my throat again.

"For the epic pleasure, or for being completely infatuated with you?" She was teasing me again.

"Both," I whispered, feeling my cheeks heat up from her blunt descriptive words.

"In case you were wondering, you taste as good as you look," she added, slipping a hand under my shirt, then down to cup my still-bare bottom.

Giggling, I buried my face in her neck again.

"God, you're cute, too. I'm completely sunk."

I was glad she was sunk. I didn't want her going anywhere.

Going to sleep that night was hard. The smile on my face as I stared at the ceiling thinking about all she'd said and our good-night kiss felt right. Even with Somi coming in at two in the morning stumbling drunk and cursing at me, even though she thought I was sleeping. I hid my smile from her.

I wanted to tell Chaeng, but I hadn't wanted to wake her up. She was already figuring out my feelings for Lisa. That I wanted more than the friendship that I had claimed. Admitting this to her was going to be fun and make it seem real. I felt as if I were in a dream at times. Especially now with Lisa.

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