In the years that passed, Peyral kept herself busy with helping her clan as much as possible, as if being as much assistance as she possibly could be to the clan could ease up the guilt that burnt away in her heart every day, for the mistake she made that cost the life of Sylwanin, alongside several other young clan members.

Peyral had recently taken to sleeping in the forest overnight; this was a foolish idea, reckless, with all the dangers of the forest being even more formidable at night, especially as a lone navi, but Peyral couldn't bring herself to care if she was harmed. Eywa forgive her, but Peyral soon found herself unable to care if she was killed by one of the many dangers in the forest. If she was, atleast she could be with her people and apoligise for her grave mistake that got them killed. Especially to Sylwanin.

It was these self-hating thoughts that has grown in Peyrals mind, growing and strengthing and burrowing inside her brain until they had infested her entire being. Many days came and went in a indistinguishable faze which were all the same; Peyral would prowl the forest relentlessly, drifting from tree to tree, sleeping whenever she could, constantly missing the prey whenever she could find the energy to aim for them, often talking and praying outloud for Sylwanin's forgiveness when the eternal pain and guilt in her heart began to feel like it was too heavy to live with, which was often.

Peyral prayed often, but felt unheard.

"Peyral"

Peyral looked up to see Tsu'tey towering over her. With a loud hiss, Peyral rolled out of his way and lurched upwards in a sleep-drunk daze, on all fours with her dagger that is everpresent in her hand nowadays held in front of her whilst trying to shake the sleep out of her eyes. Unfazed, Tsu'tey allowed his eyes to slowly roam over the small makeshift bed Peyral had hastily made for herself on the floor before ever so slowly raising his eyes to hers. Peyral's tail twitched nervously at the intensity of his look; she had seen Tsu'tey look stern before, of course, but rarely angry. Peyral had especially never seen Tsu'tey angry at her. "What are you doing? You are too intelligent to be acting like such a fool!" Tsu'tey spat at her and Peyral had to take a moment to overcome her surprise before she could reply. "Leave me" Peyral said lowly, "did you not learn the last time we were in private?" "Learnt what?" Tsu'tey snarled, before he caught himself. Taking a deep breath, Tsu'tey paused before allowing himself to speak again. "I apologise for my anger. I should never speak to you in that manner. But Peyral, you need to explain to me what lesson is it we must learn? You confuse me"

Peyral shook her head, as anger suddenly started to course in her veins "don't you act as if you don't know! Countless members of our people, including my friend and your mate Sylywanin are dead because of us. We allowed ourselves to be distracted, talking of some foolish dream of us, even though you are fated to be with Sylywanin and that distraction allowed our people to be killed." For several long moments, Tsu'tey stared at her silently as if she had slapped him, and Peyral wanted to desperately to look away from him but her pride refused to let her yield. Peyral expected Tsu'tey to be angry when he next spoke, but when Tsu'tey spoke next, his voice was filled with pain. "So this is why you are sleeping on the floor of the forest, allowing yourself to be vulnerable? Allowing any passing predator to feast on you? Not eating? Not bathing? You wish to punish yourself?" Peyral nodded. "All I wish for is peace, Tsu'tey. That is all I want. But I will never get it because the only peace I want is forgiveness from our people and especially from Sylywanin. But forgiveness is a blessing, a piece of the sun that deserves better then to shine on me and grant me warmth. I deserve to be cold" Suddenly finding it too hard to stand, Peyral allowed the bone-achingly fatigue she couldn't quite shake to overcome her, and she kneeled back to the floor, finally allowing the dagger to drop from her hands and grant relief to it, the hard grooves that had cut through her hand showing how desperately she had clung to it for weeks. Peyral couldn't feel anything around her and she felt her vision fade, staring into nothing. She couldn't find the energy to care enough to stay in the moment. But then a big, warm hand landed so softly on her forearm, and Peyral looked up at Tsu'tey, who stared down at her, worry ectched into every aspect of his face and Peyral felt her lips tremble; she felt like a little child again, for the first time ever, and she just wanted protecting. "I am sorry Tsu'tey" Peyral paused and looked down, at her knees and she saw her hands shake. "I am so sorry...I am sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Peyral kept repeating those words, over and over until she felt them start to erupt from her throat, until she was kneeled over screaming, her face pressed to the floor, her body heaving with sobs and screams, until her throat ached so much that she was sure blood would start leaking from her mouth. But Tsu'tey never left. He stayed. He stayed with his hand pressed atop of hers, letting her grip it no matter how hard she clung to it, no matter how loud she wept, no matter how hysterical she got, no matter how out of control and crazy Peyral felt. He stayed.

When Peyral woke up, hours later, it was sunset. She was lying in a hammock, high up in the trees under a blanket and with Tsu'tey next to her. He was staring far away, calmly watching the sunset but he broke his gaze away and stared down at her, and Peyral swore she could hear a sigh of relief escape his lips but he remained away from her. Peyral let her eyes wander behind him, to the streaks of dusky pink and purple weaving across the sky and contrasting against his dark skin and for the first time in weeks, Peyral felt like she could handle the guilt that laid within her heart. "I want you to listen to me, and truly hear me" Tsu'tey spoke and she could tell from his tone that Tsu'tey had been deciding what to say to her and the following words that came out from his lips would also be coming from his heart. Tsu'tey approached her and knelt before her, placing his hand over her heart and it took everything Peyral had to not flinch. "You are not to blame from Sylwanin's murder. You are not to blame for any of the murders on that day. The sky demons were the ones who killed her. They were the ones to aim their weapons at her and fire. It is they, and they alone, who are to blame". Peyral looked away and slightly shook her head. Of course Tsu'tey would say that, he sees the world in black and white, it is easy for him to be so certain. But Peyral knew she was to blame, even just for part of it; if she had been focused that day, she could of altered the chain of events. Sure, she might not of been able to stop the whole thing but she could of changed it, gotten help, defended the people, if only she hadn't been distracted then things would of been different, so it was partly her fault...

Peyral had delved so deep into the dungeons of her mind, that everyone has, that she was startled when she felt a warm hand gently grip her chin and guide her face back to Tsu'tey, a stern stare on his face. "I know when you are thinking bad thoughts Peyral. I know my words won't stop your bad thoughts, but I wanted you to hear them anyway, it is the least that you deserve. You are too hard on yourself." Tsu'tey rose and walked back to where he had been standing beforehand, and when he turned back to Peyral she saw a new found strength enter his body and determination settle into his posture. "You may not wish to protect yourself or look after yourself because of this incorrectly placed guilt you have laid upon yourself, but that is fine. I am not here to force you to act fine, or pretend to be fine. I know these bad thoughts and feelings will stay with you. But for as long as they stay with you, so will I. You cannot look after yourself, but I will. I will not leave you when you are like this; you are a good woman and a true daughter of Eywa. I know this because I have seen it for years in you. You don't have to pretend anymore, I have already seen you break. So for now, all I ask is for you to allow yourself to break and to allow me to carry your broken self; atleast until time and Eywa have put you back together."

Peyral stared at him. She felt warm, for the first time in a long time, but found the words of gratitude she was trying to form in her scrambled brain unable to leave her mouth. But she didn't need to. Tsu'tey settled down on a branch not far from her, and nodded at her, expressing his desire for her to go back to sleep. And so she did. For the first time since the murder of her people, she felt she had someone, a helping hand, to pull her up from the darkness she couldn't stop herself from sliding into no matter how hard she had tried to stop herself. And that was all she needed to feel like she will be ok.