I'm not dead, just lazy,
The Outside Looking In
Twilight shone through the departing clouds, bathing the warehouses in an uncanny light. Before the police tape and uniformed response personnel sifting through the scene, camera crews and bystanders crowded the boundary. The faint smell of blood still sat in the damp sea air. It complemented well with the taste of his Fall whiskey. Turning away from the recent bloodbath, Qrow headed downtown, keen on gathering information. Things like this didn't happen without some notice.
He got the call last night while bullshitting at his local haunt with the bartender, time off was rare for him. Ozpin was able to talk him down before parental instinct took hold. Qrow remembered distinctly that his glass cracked while Oz told him the details, the shards lighting his Aura. Ruby was fine, no wounds, but Jaune was in the infirmary. Fucking naïve kids. Blake, their teammate, ran off and landed them in a White Fang operation.
The background checks on her were done personally by himself. Blake reminded him of Raven, a strong woman whose loyalty was only to herself. The similarities were closer than he would've liked, especially their backgrounds. Qrow brushed past civilians on the streets, his destination in sight. It was a nightclub, a popular one in Vale. Tourists and locals frequent the place, leaving the establishment packed and rowdy on the weekends. Too loud for his taste.
He heard the building before he saw it. Rounding the street corner, a line of people extending from the entrance could be seen. Dressed in their outgoing clothes, cheap cologne, and gilded features. Ozpin said it was similar to watching mating rituals with animals, how they all put on a show to score. Qrow couldn't disagree. The bouncers were checking people in one by one, examining licenses and their owners.
Qrow skipped the line and walked up to the guards. One look and both nodded, letting him in. Outrage could be heard from other guests behind him, the insults flying thick and fast. He didn't pay it any mind, there were bigger concerns. Inside, the club was in full swing. Sweat, tobacco, alcohol and deodorant assailed his sense with the thumping bass and flashing neon lights. Gods, he could taste it.
Pushing past the mass of bodies took time, people dancing and yelling over the music made his ears hurt. Gods, why did Tai ever like these places? Thick air rushed into his lungs as he finally broke through the throng near the staircase to the VIP Rooms. He was greeted by a familiar set of twins, clad in their red and white outfits, respectfully. Thigh high boots or whatever the hell they were called and matching skirt dresses.
"Mat and Mel, pleasure as always. Get your licenses yet?" Matching black hair framed the scowls on their faces as Qrow greeted them.
"Fuck you, you drunk." Miltia, the one in red, shot back. "The fuck you even doing here?" Qrow could see the anger in her emerald eyes.
"Need to talk to Hei. Got some questions."
"About?"
"None of your business."
"Then no entry."
"You gonna stop me?" Qrow asked. The Malachite twins tensed at the threat. Both crossing their arms as he smirked. They knew they couldn't beat him. They also knew this was a crowded club with civilians. But that wasn't their main concern.
"We could refuse to serve you." Melanie replied, the girl clad in white. "I've never seen you here not drinking."
"That's all there is to do here. Get a pool table or something." Qrow pushed past them and up the wooden stairs. "I'll be out of your hair soon."
"Asshole."
It was one of those days, he thought. The upstairs rooms were quieter, insulated from the noise and masses. Leather couches and oak tables inhabited isolated rooms and their occupants. Dancers entertained customers, partiers partook in drugs, and deals were hashed out in whispered corners. It felt like home. If you really wanted to know how developed a city was, take a look at its crime. A healthy city had a healthy underworld.
Risqué dressed waiters caught his eye as he passed, their white and black revealing outfits undoubtably earning a hefty tip. But admiring the lovely sights wasn't what he was here for. Turning down a hallway, he came across a familiar bouncer guarding a door. He was older, easily in his fifties with silver hair and a milky left eye. Weathered muscle could barely be noticed underneath his two-piece monochrome suit. "Evening Ras."
"Qrow." He stopped in front of him. Ras's remaining brown eye stared him down.
"How's the family?"
"Good." The conversation ground to a halt.
"I'm here to see Hei."
"Have an appointment?"
"It's more of a walk in."
"Hmmm." Ras kept starring at him as he thought. "Boss," He pulled his collar closer to his mouth. "Qrow Branwen needs to see you." Qrow waited while Ras listen to the response coming through his earpiece. After a moment, he stepped aside.
"Thanks." All Qrow got was a sound of acknowledgement as Ras let him in. The door closed behind him with an audible click, leaving him alone with Hei. He was looking over something on his scroll and motioned for him to sit down. Qrow ignored the offer and instead help himself to the expensive liquor on a nearby shelf. His office wasn't huge, but it was sizable and furnished with rich oak shelves and plush chairs.
His desk was made out of steel though, stylized to add perceived finesse. A one-way window was behind him, overlooking the dance floor and bar, but otherwise isolated. Not even the sound bled through the red walls. Qrow perused through the alcohol section, finding a Valean Bourbon that suited his tastes. "That's four hundred lien a bottle, Qrow." The crime boss sounded annoyed as Qrow poured two glasses.
"Consider it a bribe." He brought them over, placing them on the reinforced desk. Hei just sighed at the statement and downed the glass.
"It's about the docks, isn't it?" The crime boss looked away, down towards the club's dancefloor.
"Shit like that doesn't just happen out of blue." Qrow downed his glass and refilled it. "Nearly got one of my girls killed, Hei. Not to mention how much attraction this is getting."
"I know." Hei Xiong let out a heavy sigh.
"I need answers, Hei."
"It's not that simple."
"Then make it simple." One of his family members almost died and he needed answers. So did Ozpin and Irondick, but mostly him. "I even got some information for you. Valuable information."
"What is it?" The Xiong clan were famous in certain circles for being excellent information brokers, and none more infamous than the clan leader themselves.
"Show me yours first." Heavy silence hung in the room. The only thing that did make a sound was the clink of glass as Hei nursed it.
"Grab the Uytir. Bottle is the last on the right, top shelf." Feeling like he was finally getting somewhere, Qrow obliged. The bottle was easy to find. It was stained dark green and had an etching of a hammer over an anvil. Bring the drink back over, Hei took it from him and uncorked it. An aroma of pine wafted through the air as the bartender poured its contents. He toasted the glass to Qrow's before knocking it back.
Qrow followed suit and winced at the icy burn sliding down his throat. Winter grapes and the frozen tundra of Solitas assaulted his tongue. The brew had one hell of a kick that Qrow only felt a few times before. Both of them held back from coughing, that didn't stop the pained grunting though. "It started a few months ago." Hei started as Qrow beat his chest and cleared his throat. "The Adoka Organization was wiped out in a single night, and their shops burned." Qrow was familiar with the group, had their hands in smuggling goods in and out of Vale.
"The other families and I thought it was a rival gang killing off the competition. Even though this was bloodier than most, it does happen. We thought it was a one-off occurrence." The Xiong head sipped the unique liquor. "We were wrong. A day later two smaller gangs were at each other's throat over stolen supplies. Virtually killed and disbanded themselves with the fight. The day after, the Nemis family head is assassinated in his own home, throwing the whole family into Chaos. Fighting with themselves about inheritance and who was responsible."
"You're losing me, I don't understand what most of that means." Irritation was creeping up the back of his neck. Yeah, he knew that crime happened in the city, but he didn't care that much about it. Most of what Hei was saying sounded like nonsense anyway.
"Someone is making moves." Hei sighed and looked back to the dancefloor.
"Someone? You mean Torchwick?"
"No, someone is controlling him. I don 't know who but they've got him by the balls. Even have him working with the White Fang for god's sake." Qrow's mind filtered through the possibilities. The only likely answer was whoever attacked Amber. Ozpin needs to know. All that was left was why. "The whole fucking town is going to shit." Anger was heard in his voice, bringing a chuckle out of Qrow. Someone to share his misery. "Your turn."
The drunk leaned back on his heels to look up at the tiled ceiling. "Ironwood is going to be in charge of the Vytal Festival security." He downed the glass of the frigid liquor. Hei Pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply.
"Fuck."
"Yeah, that was my reaction too." Qrow took the Uytir and started pouring some into his flask, ignoring the spillage he caused on the desk. "But hey, now you know something everyone else doesn't. Feels great, right?" Hei just glared at him and the bottle.
"Get the hell out of my office."
"Fine, fine." Qrow put away his flask and set the liquor down. He opened the door but stopped before he stepped through. "Also, one more thing." The bartender leaned back in his chair, continuing to glare daggers at him.
"What?"
"Ozpin says hi."
The rhythmic blows on the sandbag echoed through the nearly deserted chamber. Wrapped fists met leather in wrathful tandem, the force swinging the bag dangerously. It was the only way she could vent. Well, without seriously hurting anyone. Pyrrha was going through her forms, moving from one stance to the next in an open arena. She said it was therapeutic and helped her think. Yang could understand that. It was similar to her beating the shit out of something.
Nora and Ren were weightlifting, another way to vent and come to terms of what they saw yesterday. No one really slept since then. They hung out in their room in silence afterwards, Ms. Goodwitch telling them to get some rest. But she couldn't, not until she knew Ruby was okay. She could still hear her screaming while they dragged her into the infirmary. Anxiety and rage mixed into an unhealthy mindset while she wailed on the bag.
Sweat clung to her skin, matting Yang's clothes to her body. Her fists felt unsatisfied against the false enemy, and it did little to abate her anger. Yang wanted to hit something, she wanted to hit someone. It was wrong, she was aware of that, but that didn't stop the urge. It didn't stop her temper from flaring, or her Aura from manifesting. She almost snapped at her team when they told her to calm down. The flurry of blows became more desperate, trying to expel the rage.
Desperation flitted through her mind, the thought of being useless while her sister was in pain was driving a knife through her soul. Yang wanted to blame someone for everything that happened. She wanted to blame Blake for running away. She wanted to accuse Weiss of starting the fight and making her run. But most of all, she blamed Jaune for letting it happen. He was the leader and Ruby's partner. That was what she thought before they found his body.
He was half dead, bloody with Goodwitch apply first aid to him. A Beowulf would have been kinder. Whoever or whatever he fought was out to cause pain. Tears along the bag could be felt by her wrapped knuckled, spilling sand onto the floor. It mirrored the tracks on her face, the wetness stinging her eyes. "Damnit." Hate and hopelessness flooded the mind and body, her from becoming sloppier with every strike. "Damnit."
It was her mantra now as she blamed herself. She took care of her when mom left, and her dad was comatose with grief. She was supposed to keep her safe to not put her in danger ever again. She remembered being horrified when Ruby wanted to be a Huntress, a career where she couldn't protect her. There was only one option left to her after that. Become one herself. It was pure coincidence that she took to it like a duck to water.
"Damnit!" She remembers taking Ruby to find her biological mom and almost killing her, waning some semblance of family after Summer died. The terror of being helpless while she held her sister, Grimm circling them never quite left her. She never did thank Uncle Qrow enough for that, nor did he blame her. "Damnit!" Rips were growing larger with every blow as her vision blurred, another mirror to her fraying emotions. Sand sprayed with every strike, coating her sweat in dirt.
"DAMNIT!" Yang roared, sending a haymaker into the leather. The contents of the bag exploded on impact, sending sand in every direction. It coated her precious hair, face, clothes, and most of her body. Yang slumped to her knees in the pile of sand, because it didn't matter. Ruby was hurt, and she wasn't there for her. Tremors from her sobs didn't help as she hugged and blamed herself.
"Damnit…"
The bed beneath her had a familiar comfort, and she would have gone to sleep if guilt didn't plague her being. Weiss had to remind herself to sit straight and correct her posture, it was unbecoming of a lady to slouch. Though she couldn't bring herself to look away from the hem of her skirt. Blake was fidgeting on her bed, a scowl on her face while she read her book. Ruby was no better, glancing between the two on her bed. Weiss never did apologize for slapping her, even if it was for her own good.
And there it is again. Is this how it starts? She started noticing a trend in her thoughts, with nothing to do but think in the awkward silence. The justification for causing pain or scolding someone. 'They need to learn.', 'It'll build character.', 'It was for their own good.' Was this how it started with her father? The necessity to be the villain for the greater good? Now she could see it. The similarities between them and how she hated it.
The thoughts were so easy, so justifiable. They worked, didn't they? Through her actions, they found out the truth about Blake, and how dangerous she could have been. By her running away, they found a White Fang plot of epic proportions that linked Torchwick and the recent Dust heists. The ends justified the means, and Weiss could be satisfied with that. So why did she feel so guilt-ridden about it all?
'It's not your fault. Animals below their station forced you to do this.' She could hear her father's insidious whispers, denouncing any trace of guilt. 'You just reacted logically; you can never be too careful around them.' Weiss pressed her hands to her ears to stop the insidious thoughts. 'Remember Stella, the dear girl who died by the hand of her maid? Horrific to be sure, but proof to never let them close. Animals are only good for labor, dear. Remember that.'
I'm not you, I'm not you. The thoughts came easily without effort. Weiss knew they were wrong; she knew she had to be better. But she couldn't trust Blake. She couldn't trust other Faunus. The thought of it was so alien and wrong to her that she didn't know what else to do. 'The ends justify the means, Weiss. Remnant couldn't function with our Dust and they don't care how they get it.' Cold logic from her father rained down on her psyche.
Deep breaths. In and out. Slowing her breathing, Weiss righted herself. Luckily, no one saw the miniature mental breakdown. I can't be like my father. I won't be. Now came the difficult task of broaching the subject. How to put it delicately, civilly, and hopefully to save face. There they were again. Guess old habits do die hard. "Um." Weiss cleared her throat; it was unusual for her to say that. To be so unsure of herself. Both her teammates turned to look at her. "I… I need to apologize."
Baby steps Weiss. Taking a deep breath, she looked at Blake and soldiered on. Her Amber eyes held wrath and annoyance, akin to her own at times. "Oh? About what?" Blake asked innocently, the question laced with venom. Weiss's pride surged and all she wanted to do was to snap back.
"About our fight earlier." She gritted out, trying to be civil.
"Oh? How did that go again?" Now she knew Blake was being petty. Fine. She'll play ball.
"With you running and…" She remembered her promise to Jaune to be a better teammate. "Making us worried." The words were forced out. Gods that was hard to do. Weiss felt physically sick at the action of not reprimanding her. Her partner looked a bit taken aback at the lack of bite in her words. She put down her book and motioned her to continue, crossing her legs and giving her that smug look. What she would give to rip it off.
"I realized I may have been… Influenced by my father's words and ways of thinking." That can of worms hadn't been open yet, but she was cracking the lid. "And I want to change." Change before it was too late.
"So?" Blake asked, perplexed by the statement. Weiss didn't even know what it meant. She thought she'd be shot down before getting this far. Ruby looked tense on the other side of the room, biting her nails.
"I…" Jaune opened the door, amidst her confession. He stood sock still, sensing the atmosphere. His eyes were like a deer in headlights as he looked around.
"Am I interrupting something?" Their leader asked.
"Weiss was about to apologize for being a bitch earlier. Nothing special." Blake summarized, looking toward him, missing the rage on Weiss's face. The heiress threw her hands up in the air, storming past Jaune and out of the room. That utter bitch. She could hear someone calling after, heedless of her anger. She tried to be civil and do the right thing, and for what? Blake wouldn't even listen.
Maybe her father was right. You just couldn't trust a Faunus.
"Oh, for Remnant's sake…" Jaune sighed from the doorway watching Weiss leave. Blake was still mildly surprised she left. Sure, she sounded like she was about to apologize, but Blake knew better. Schnee's liked to lie with honeyed words, if experience taught her anything. Perhaps it was bait to get her to trust her partner again, lower her guard. Hell, she'd been chewing her out for the past twenty-four hours.
It might have been petty, but it felt good to make her fume for a little bit. It was only now that she noticed Ruby of all people glaring daggers at her. "What?"
"That was really mean, Blake."
"How? She chews out people on a daily basis, but when I do it it's suddenly a crime?" She earned the moniker 'The Ice Queen' for a reason. Why does she get a pass for treating people like shit, but not her? The door was still open, but Jaune was gone.
"She was trying to apologize!"
"She'll have to try a lot harder than that." Blake crossed her arm and leaned back on her headboard. "Problem didn't even mean it anyway." She mumbled.
"No!" Ruby said with frustration, grabbing Blake's attention. "We were worried about you when you ran. Even Weiss." The girl's silver eyes were rimmed red with tears and lack of sleep. "Do you know how she felt? How we felt? You just took off; I couldn't even find you!" The young reaper started wiping the tears away with her hands. "We tried to call you and you wouldn't pick. Then we went to Ozpin about the whole -hic- thing." Ruby was crying as she ranted, through the snot and hiccups.
"And then he finally -hic- told us about the White Fang thing and how you ran away. You didn't even trust to tell us! -hic- We were so tired and spent the whole -hic- time looking for you. Jaune chewed out Weiss, and Penny…" Ruby became quiet after saying the redheads name. "And Penny killed someone, I think. So did I. Then Jaune had to, because of me. Because of you." To Blake, it looked like a lot of repressed emotions were coming out, but that last sentence caused her gut to roil. Ruby shuddered and hugged herself.
"You didn't have to look for me." Blake said in response, trying to deflect blame. That earned a wrathful look from Ruby's tearstained face.
"Of course we had to, you idiot! You're one of us!" Her silver eyes looked into her and Blake could now feel immense guilt. "You didn't even try to explain! You just ran! And you haven't even said sorry you… You… You bitch!"
Now a lot of things could cause someone to have a revelation. It could be someone hitting their head, solving a riddle, or even look at something mundane, like rain for instance.
For Blake, it was being called a bitch by her cinnamon roll of a teammate.
The sheer amount of self-reflection that happened in the span of mere seconds did two things. One, it caused Blake's eyes to bulge out of her skull with the implications of what she just put her team through, shocking her mental system to the very core. Secondly, right after realizing this, she promptly passed out from a combination of crushing guilt, anxiety, and the thought of having to explain this to her mother.
This left Ruby staring at Blake unconscious body on the bed afterwards. The suddenness of it shook the poor teen out of her depressed thoughts for a moment. Rare silver orbs looked over at her teammate in confusion.
"Uhhh… Blake?"
Jaune was really tired of the drama at this point, that was part of the reason he was lagging behind Weiss to catch up to her. The other was his sore and battered body. Sure, he may have rested for upwards of fourteen hours, but that didn't help the pain. Then again, his Aura was empty right now, so that might have something to do with it. He would have to ask Qrow about that later.
Trudging through the halls of Beacon, Jaune followed the stiletto footsteps of Weiss. Gods, why couldn't his team be normal for five seconds? Ruby was a prodigy, Weiss was the heiress to the Schnee Dust Company, and Blake is and ex-terrorist. With a metal arm, he was the only comparable 'normal' person on the team. What the hell?
He finally caught up to her in the common room at the end of their dorm hall. They were located throughout campus for students to grab a quick bite or socialize with their neighbors. The rooms came with a fridge, stove, microwave, cupboards, and anything else a student would need for a quick meal. Next to it, cheap green couches with coffee tables dominated the room, all facing towards an outdated Tv. Beacon may be a prestigious school, but they still had a finite budget.
"That dumb fucking bitch, who does she think she is?" Jaune saw Weiss ranting near a brewing pot of coffee. "I try to apologize, I try to be civil, but no. That fucking Faunus had to spit it in my face after getting all of them nearly killed." Oh, that wasn't a good sign. "Where the hell is her apology? Stupid, ungrateful, fucking piece of garbage." Yeah, this needed to be addressed somehow.
"I didn't know you could swear like that." Jaune's comment made Weiss jump, spilling coffee over her mug and the kitchen sink. She quickly tuned to face him, wide eyed.
"How much did you hear?"
"A good bit." Her eyes narrowed.
"Be specific."
"Well…" Jaune scratched the back of his head and looked away. "'That Fucking Faunus' does stand out." Weiss's hands covered her face and took a deep breath.
"You heard that?" Came a muffled question.
"Kind of hard not to. You weren't quiet about it." An agonized groan left the hands of Weiss, heiress of the Schnee Dust Company. Pulling her hands down her face, she recomposed herself and looked directly at Jaune.
"Not a word of this to anyone."
"I don't know how to feel about that."
"Then don't. Forget it ever happened." She turned around, sore again, then started cleaning the mess of coffee.
"What were you two fighting about?" Jaune knew there was tension between them, but this felt different. Ruby and he walked in on something and it looked like it was worse than just a spat. A deep sigh escaped Weiss, still facing the sink.
"Blake was just emphasizing how much of a bad person I am." She grabbed a washcloth and started cleaning the dark liquid on the countertop. Jaune's eyebrow quirked in confusion.
"I'm sure she's just an-"
"No, she's right. I berate people. I make them do the dirty work. And I am just like my godforsaken father." He could see her shaking over the sink now. "I'm not deaf to what people say, Jaune. And I'm not blind to the things I do either. Do you know what it's like to constantly fight your own thoughts?"
Don't answer that.
"I don't know how to answer that." He really didn't, not without incriminating his own insanity.
"It's like I can hear my father's voice in my head. How it just makes sense to assume the worst and act accordingly. To not trust anyone. To think that everyone is beneath you. To exploit and think of only what to gain. A good person doesn't think like that." Another deep sigh escaped her while starring into the sink. "And as much as I hate that self-righteous bitch, she's right. It's funny really…"
Weiss continued to monologue to herself about her thoughts while Jaune slowly tunned out and sat on a nearby couch. He closed his eyes and leaned himself into the cheap fabric. The image of entrails and a masked face frozen in horror greeted him. Adrenaline spike through his body temporarily relieving the pain, deep blue eyes opening in panic. Looking around, he saw Weiss still talking. The fuck was that?
It was hard to care about everyone's problems when you had pressing matters of your own. Like emotional, physical, mental exhaustion and bloody images. Jaune wanted to listen and be a good team leader to try and find a solution, but he was way out of his depth. "I don't know."
"What?" Weiss asked, interrupting her soliloquy.
"I have no idea. I guess you're just a bad person then." He shrugged, looking back. "I don't have an answer for you."
"But…" She seemed deep in thought. "I don't want to be."
"Then don't. As long as you have Ruby, mine, and even Blake's back, I don't care whether you're good or bad." Jaune picked up the nearby remote and turned on the ancient Tv, static flickering to life after a delay.
"That doesn't make sense. Aren't we supposed to be good?" Weiss looked a bit calmer, sitting on a couch nearby.
"I have no idea what we're supposed to be anymore. I killed someone the other day. Blake and Ruby did too, but you know that." She nodded. "And I've been doing a shit job as a leader because I have no idea how to fix any of this." A quiet chuckle escaped him. "I've been doing everything I can just to survive." Now that he thought about it, his idea of what Huntsman life was supposed to be like was utterly shattered now.
Without him noticing, he was laughing whole heartedly about how fucking absurd his life was. Weiss soon joined in, the infectious mirth and ludicrousness of it all getting to her as well. Tears rolled down his face as his mind was assaulted with the scarring images of last night, but he didn't mind.
It felt good to laugh again.
"We're so fucked." He said after getting himself back under control.
"Yeah." Weiss agreed, getting comfortable on her own couch and turning towards late night television. "I guess we are."
Yeah, sorry for the delay. Got distracted with everything and hit a writer's block. Also I'll be moving this story to AO3 afterwards, under the same name story title. I will take no questions. Until next time.