Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion in any form. All characters of this story are owned by their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.

AN: Well, here's chapter two. Gave me a little trouble for some reason. I don't know why, I only know it was determined to make me hate my laptop for just a little bit almost every day. Anyway I'm moving the story rating up to M from this chapter onward. I realized that it might be best, considering the anime this fiction is based off of. I also wanted to have the freedom to have a bit more colorful language when I thought it was necessary and make this as twisted (though that may not be the exact word I'm looking for, I'm finishing this around 3 in the morning so I don't care) as necessary depending on where I may be in the story. Last, but not least, thanks for the reviews you guys! They were so , I've said what I thought was important, so…

On with the show.

What Can (Not) Be Changed

Shinji cringed.

He cringed as he watched himself choke Asuka. A wicked smile spread across his features as his grip tightened; his fingers wrapped around her neck like a noose. His thumbs pushed in on the center of her neck. Her eyes were wide, pleading with him silently. She wanted to breathe so badly; desperately.

He wouldn't let her.

Shinji watched as his grip tightened again. He watched as Asuka's hand grew weak; limp. It fell from its place on his cheek and hit the ground. A soft thunk echoing in his ear. Finality. Asuka was dead; she wasn't coming back. Shinji watched as he pulled his hands away from her throat – hand shaped bruises left as evidence.

Shinji looked away now as the scene began to replay itself. He was tired of seeing this.

==X==

Shinji sat up, sucking in air as if he'd never breathed before. Cold sweat beaded on his forehead, his heart hammered in his chest, and his breath was shallow. Shinji's nightmare had been horrible. He'd choked her, yes, but it had been nothing like that. He hadn't enjoyed it. He was punishing himself, he thought – he knew. He was sure.

"Bad dream, Third?" asked Asuka maliciously. A dark grin was stretched across her lips. It didn't take long for Shinji to realize that she'd had something to do with his dream. He looked away from her, trying not to acknowledge her existence.

"Trying to ignore me, Third? I won't let you; I won't let you forget what you did to me. To our world. You can try as hard as you want. You can run as far as you wish – but you listen, and you listen good." She was in his face now, the darkest of glares present in her good eye.

"I won't ever let a day in your pathetic, worthless excuse for a life go by where you can think you will ever be able to escape what you've done." And with those words, Asuka was gone. Shinji sat there for a moment; the silence around him giving way to a ring in his ears. It was quiet, too quiet – and he was tired. And Angry. And worried. And he didn't want to see anything from his old world ever again.

Shinji muttered to himself, muttered that he'd made a mistake. Lying back down, he closed his eyes and fell – after an hour – into another fitful sleep. Another day was dawning on Tokyo-3.

He didn't think it was going to be a good one.

==X==

Shinji awoke, bleary eyed, as the sun crept into his room through the blinds. The Third Child rubbed at his eyes, still tired from his horrid night. His first night in this new Tokyo-3 had been less than enjoyable, to say the least, but he figured he could work on that as the days passed. For now though, he figured he'd get up and make breakfast, then prepare for school. Shinji remembered that – at some point in the mess of tests and interrogations the night before – Misato told him he'd be attending school today.

Now that he thought about how quickly he was going to be in school, he concluded that it was rather abrupt and most certainly impromptu. Last time this happened, he'd been in no way prepared. Not that it really mattered. Even if given more time, he still wouldn't have been ready for the beating Toji gave him.

"Brother."

Shinji jumped, his heart pounding as adrenaline pumped through his veins. Taking a few calming breaths, he turned to his new – family, of sorts. Leliel was behind him, slightly overhead, hovering. She had a smile on her face as he looked her over in scrutiny.

"Are we really related now? Really?" he asks, skeptical now that he's been able to sleep on the situation.

"Yes," she replies, instantly. "Is that really what you should be asking right now? Do we not have more important things to discuss?" Shinji looks to his watch, reading the time. It read six in the morning. School started at eight – and he assumed that Misato would drive him there for his first day, so he knew where to go. In that case, he wouldn't need to worry about how long he took making breakfast, although, he decides, he may need to try eating after she's driven him and certainly not before. He didn't want to throw up.

"No, I suppose it isn't what I should ask," he replies, deciding he can spare however much time this takes, "How are you doing this? I mean, shouldn't Nerv have detected you by now? Even if they didn't, there must be camera's in my room and Section 2 is always watching."

"Well," starts Leliel, smoothing out her dress as she descends, taking up a sitting position, "I told you, I hide my A.T. Field. Is it not their primary way to detect an Angel? As long as it is not in use, I am safe from their detection. Secondly, you're the only one that can see me. I am bending the space around us. It is… preventing the Lilin from seeing me; or from noticing that you are talking for that matter. It is but a trifling matter, Brother."

Shinji nods, not really wanting to get into the technicalities over the use of the dimensional/space abilities his sister – he winces here, knowing that he will definitely have to get used to calling her sister – may have.

"Why are you helping me?"

"Did you not ask me that yesterday, Brother? I believe I told you."

"Yeah, you did," replied Shinji, "But that wasn't really an answer. I want reasons. So why?"

"Well, Brother, I have had the opportunity of watching man fall to us in other dimensions, I have watched them triumph against us, and I have watched them destroy themselves. I have seen much death and much glory. Brother, I've seen something else too. Something common amongst all the dimensions."

"What's that?" asks Shinji, curiously. He wasn't really sure he wanted to know about the fate of the other places. He didn't want to know if he'd died there too, or something worse – if there is something worse. However, he was curious of what was common across the Dirac Sea.

"In all the dimensions, the Lilin, whether they be works of great joy and peace, or works of war and terror, they have built things. They bring something new. They – create. And we, my brother, we, despite being the closest to father, despite our great abilities, we create nothing. We bring about one thing, no matter what. Whether we fall to the Lilin or vanquish them, all we bring is death. This is the common string throughout the Dirac Sea. Brother, I do not want to see the Lilin of my world stop creating."

Shinji nods, slowly. He hadn't expected that to come from her. He hadn't expected her reason to be so – he honestly didn't know what it was, but it was good. He felt he could relate – in some way – to how Leliel must feel. Trapped in a war she doesn't want to fight. Constantly watching her brethren fall or seeing the humans perish. Has she cried over this? Has she hurt?

"Do you have any other questions, brother?" asked Leliel, bringing Shinji from his thoughts.

"Ah… yeah," he replies. Shinji takes a moment to order his thoughts, thinking of what he wanted to ask her next.

"So… I'm an Angel now, right? What can I do?"

"You are faster, stronger. Compared to you, the Lilin cannot compete. Your Stamina is nearly limitless, you no longer need air, water, or food to sustain life, and you can regenerate as long as your Fruit of Life, or S2 Engine, as the Lilin refer to it, is not destroyed. Much like myself, you can fly and you now have the use of your Absolute Terror Field. Oh, and teleporting. Aside from that, you should have something that defines you. An ability; a distinction. Tabris has the most powerful A.T. Field ever recorded among the angels. I control the Dirac, Ramiel boasts the most destructive power, and Zeruel, in terms of ability, is our greatest warrior," she replies.

"So what can I do?"

"I do not know." Shinji stares at her blankly.

"What?"

"It has yet to manifest, brother. Until it does, we will not know what you can do."

"Right… So, food. Can I still eat? Even though I don't need it?"

"Of course," replied Leliel, "aside from the fact that you're going to need to in order to not make anyone suspicious, you'll still be able to enjoy food. You just don't need it anymore."

"Okay…" replies Shinji, finding her answer to be annoying in some way he can't readily identify, "Then where is my S2 Engine?"

"Where your heart used to be," Leliel responds. Shinji nods again, taking that in as he touches his chest. He still feels a beat. It's odd to him; he never knew S2 Engines could beat.

"This is – weird. To say the least. Honestly, I'm surprising myself. I thought I'd be freaking out a lot more by now."

"Yes," said Leliel, smirking, "I thought the same, but I suppose ascending to godhood has some side effects, no?" Shinji smiled, nodding his head. Thinking about it, he had done a lot recently. Maybe this kind of stuff just didn't get to him anymore. Then again, he best not speak too soon; wouldn't want to jinx himself.

"So, what am I learning first?" he asks.

"Well, based on what you've done in your dimension, you should already have knowledge of how to use your A.T. Field. Regeneration is more of an automatic thing. I taught you how to adjust your form yesterday and you know how to hide your Angelic status, considering how simple it is there was no doubt of that. Teleportation has to do with your A.T. Field, so it will probably be a long while before you learn that. I guess all I can really help you with right now until your distinction manifests is flying."

"And I do this how?"

"It's just another trifling thing; another matter of your will. Though I suggest we wait," she replies.

"Why?"

"I have to go and discuss some things with some of our other brethren. I will see you," replies Leliel as she levitates into the air and vanishes. As he watches her go, Shinji wonders how she does it.

If teleportation has to do with their A.T. Fields then shouldn't she have been detected? Sighing to himself, he chalks it up as having to do with her whole being-the-Dirac thing. Wait a minute, he thinks again, doesn't her Dirac ability have to do with her having an inverted A.T. Field? This is so confusing. Grumbling, Shinji decides to ask about it when he sees her next.

Looking at his watch, he sees that not much time has passed and with another sigh, he gets up. He needs a shower and some time to think.

==X==

Misato stumbles out of her room, bleary eyed and sluggish. She can smell something wonderful coming from the kitchen, something – she knows – definitely couldn't have had anything to do with her. Last she checked, she didn't sleep walk and she sucked at cooking. As Misato made her way into the kitchen, almost floating across the floor as the scent led her, she saw her new roommate handling the stove like it was his second home.

"Morning, Misato."

"M-morning… Shinji, you can cook?" He grunts in the affirmative and Misato, in the back of her mind, is on her knees and thanking – well – not… God? Yeah, Not-God. She could work with that. She was on her knees and thanking Not-God for sending her this blessed boy. Though she'd never admit it, she was getting tired of her micro waved… whatever it was.

After Shinji set the table – which Misato noticed had been cleaned – the two of them sat down to eat. Her roommate had made eggs, pancakes, and some tasty looking things first, Misato guzzled down her beer which seemed to wake her up. Shinji raised a brow at her, still not quite understanding how beer woke her up in the mornings – or gave her energy period. The two of them ate silently for a while before Shinji decided to start up a conversation. It was something he couldn't imagine himself doing a while back, but right now, change seemed… good.

"So you like western food?" he asked. Unlike the Misato of his dimension, this one actually had edible food in her fridge. If she hadn't, then the two of them probably would have gone without food this morning. He was pretty sure all Misato would have needed was a beer and he wasn't about to get food poisoning his first day from eating her instant… stuff.

"It's okay," shrugged Misato, taking another bite of the food Shinji had prepared. She had to admit the boy was good. If things were like this, she wouldn't need any more microwavable dinners, "I just wanted to try cooking again and I heard western food – breakfast at least – was easier to make." Shinji hummed amusedly as he continued to eat. For some reason, he was rather sure that she had failed this little experiment of hers – or she never attempted in the first place. Of the two possibilities, his bet was on the former.

"Enough about the food though," she smiled, "you seem… different. That is – different from when I first met you yesterday." Shinji's hand twitched at her question. Strictly speaking, in terms of character, he hadn't realized he'd been that off. Across the table, Misato had been watching him closely. She'd noticed her new roommate's twitch and filed it away.

"Really?" he asked, sounding mildly surprised as he continued to eat. Misato casually took a swig of her beer, eyeing the boy as she did so. She noted how calm he was; far more calm than when she picked him up on the side of the road. He didn't seem as frail either.

"Yeah. What happened?" She inquired with a disarming smile as she set down her beer. She waited for him to answer, digging into her breakfast once more, as he remained silent. Shinji, for his part, knew that even though she was interrogating him and he was doing well in avoiding having to actually answering her question, his silence was working against him too.

It was no secret to him that Misato had a keen mind beneath her brashness and playful demeanor; he'd had all the necessary time to find this out. Simply by not answering her now, he was probably giving her insight into his current attitude. He didn't think that was particularly bad, but he was sure she had some sort of knowledge of how he acted before his time in Nerv and he was positive that she would get Ritsuko to look into it. Ritsuko would in turn, let her know that the change from then to now was too sudden. From there, the two of them would no doubt try to find out what the cause was.

Sad as it was, Shinji knew that he'd already stepped into this. His future was to be filled with interrogations on this particular topic and there was nothing he could do about it aside from prepare himself.

"Dunno," he deadpans, shoving more egg into his mouth, "I guess it was just time for me to grow up," he adds after he finished swallowing. Misato nods, saying she understood and the two of them lapsed into silence until breakfast was finished and Misato decided it was time to drive him to school.

Shinji – who had forgotten Misato was driving him this morning – suddenly remembered that he'd eaten before getting in the car with her. Realizing the consequences of his action, Shinji – without realizing it – could do only one thing.

The Third Child paled.

==X==

It had been a little more than two weeks since his first day at school and things were already going better than the last time – in a way. On his first day, Toji was in the class, chatting with Kensuke. The jock seemed rather somber, something that didn't go unnoticed by Shinji. During class, Shinji kept to himself. He decided that for now, instead of worrying over the possibilities, he would simply observe those who were once friends to him. There wasn't much of any change in them.

Kensuke was still fascinated with military technology and his camera. Currently, he was recording himself flying around a small VTOL model while making gun noises, stopping every so often to adjust his spectacles. Toji was sitting on the bespectacled boy's desk, silent. They'd had a lapse in conversation during this small break period between classes. Toji seemed quite deep in thought about something, and Shinji had a good guess as to what it was – he hoped he was wrong.

Once lunch finally rolled around, the Third Child looked to see Toji and Kensuke eating with Hikari, and one other girl he didn't recognize. She had long, straight, black hair; large, round glasses like Kensuke and a small mole beneath her mouth on the left side. Her eyes were slightly disturbing to him. They were red; nothing like the red of Ayanmi's, Leliel's, or his eyes beneath his illusion, but that changed nothing. They were very dark, almost as if black. The color is something that he would actually see more as orange than red, nevertheless, they disturbed him – yet another thing he resolved to ask Leliel about.

Watching the group of four a moment longer, Shinji took a deep breath before walking over. He'd decided to be a little more proactive this time around. He wanted friends.

"Hi. Um… Mind if I eat with you?"

Just that small leap of faith had changed things for him. In the weeks since then, Toji had been absent quite a bit, often leaving him to talk with Kensuke, Hikari, and the other girl – whom he learned was named Mayumi Yamagishi – more often. That wasn't to say he didn't know Toji well though, the jock turned out to be his best friend despite the absences. As it stood, things were progressing nicely.

Today, he was sitting next to Kensuke, the bespectacled boy going on about the "military's secret weapon." It was obvious to him that he was referring to Nerv and the Evangelion. Shinji half listened, nodding when appropriate while Hikari rolled her eyes, telling Kensuke that he should stop complaining about what he was and was not allowed to see.

Mayumi was reading a book; ignoring the boy and his childishness on the subject all together.

"Hey guys," came Toji's voice. The four of them looked to the door, seeing the tracksuit clad jock walk in. He held no smile on his face and like he often did these days, came to school late, missing two of their earlier classes. They greeted him, Mayumi actually taking time to look up from her book now, giving him a smile. Shortly after he walked in, class started up and they resigned themselves to listen to their teach ramble on about a pre-second impact world.

They were currently supposed to be in math.

Shinji wondered how exactly they ever really got homework before. Most of his memories of school were filled with talking to his friends, Asuka yelling at him over something, or the teacher ranting about second impact and such. He knew they did actually go over subjects. He remembered the homework and knowing the material. He just couldn't seem to remember an instance where class had actually consisted of learning.

Shaking the thoughts away, Shinji's attention was caught by a red flashing on his screen. Looking down, he saw what it was and his blood ran cold. He hadn't been keeping up with the days very much. Hanging out with his friends and actually having Toji like him from the start had been very distracting, but still, he hadn't known he'd been so out of touch with the passage of time. Today was the day Shamshel attacked.

Today, his classmates would finally be fed up with wondering if he was a pilot. He'd done all he could to not make them suspicious, even going so far as to refrain from talking to Rei despite wanting to start on a good relationship with her the most. Going to her would have ousted him as a pilot almost immediately. Thankfully (or unfortunately, depending on how one looked at it), she had been absent most of the time due to injury. It left him little to go and talk to her or vice versa. Glancing around the classroom to make sure his suspicion was founded; he eventually caught eye contact with two girls in the back of the room.

No doubt about it now, he thought. Today had just become a lot more complicated. Answering the call, he was met with the same question as before. They'd asked if piloted the Eva; a "Y/N" ending the question. Shinji wasn't stupid enough to make the same mistake twice though, he figured he could come up with some way to hide his status if he tried hard enough.

Looking around again, Shinji caught sight of his friends. Though they were trying to seem uninterested – Hikari and Mayumi may very well be paying attention to class (or lack thereof) – he knew they were curious of his response. Swiftly, the Third Child typed "No" as his response and the class seemed to buzz with disappointed murmurs. Shinji didn't care though; if he got to keep his friends he didn't mind not being praised for his piloting. He wasn't Asuka anyway, he didn't crave such a thing.

==X==

"The class was really thinking you were that robots pilot for a while there, Shin-man," laughed Toji. He slapped Shinji on his back, and while the Third Child grunted a little in discomfort, he would trade this for a punch to the face any day. The five of them were sitting under the shade of a tree in the courtyard. It was lunch time and as usual, they would be enjoying it together. Shinji and Hikari had made the lunches for everyone, the three remaining members of their group ever grateful.

"Speaking of the pilot. Regarding what he did, Suzuhara…" Mayumi trailed off here, letting it sink in where the change of topics was about to head to. Toji stiffened; his jaw tightened as he thought about what happened. "How is your sister doing?" Mayumi continued.

As Shinji had dreaded the night he defeated Sachiel, Toji's sister, Sakura, had been injured in his battle. It didn't seem as though it was as severe as last time – something he could take solace in – but she had been injured nonetheless. Toji was still as angry as last time. Only difference now was that he didn't know his friend was a Child of Evangelion.

"Fine," replied Toji, crossing his arms as a scowl marred his face, "It'll still be a while before she gets released, but she's supposed t' make a full recovery."

"That's good," replied Shinji, happy that she wouldn't need some kind of expensive operation to recover. If this was the case, he may be able to prevent the whole Bardiel incident and save Toji sometime down the road.

"Yeah, right," Toji snorted, angrily, "if that pilot hadn't been so stupid none of this woulda happened in the first place! She'd have been fine." Shinji lowered his eyes, feeling a little less confidant in himself. Toji's words weren't enough to shake his resolve, but they certainly hurt. He didn't want to go through this just making different versions of the same mistakes.

"Toji, I know this hurt you, but come on. Be reasonable," sighed Hikari.

"Reasonbale?!" Toji roared, getting to his feet, "My little sister gettin' trampled on wasn't freakin' reasonable, Class Rep!" Indignation dripped from his voice like acid with every word. Shinji could hear the venom when Toji spoke and it hurt him just having to hear it.

"But it wasn't really his fault… how was he supposed to look out for a civilian he didn't even know was there? And while fighting a monster at that?" she responded, softly. She felt horrible about what happened to Toji's sister, she really did. She didn't want to think about such a thing ever happening to either of her sisters; it would have destroyed her. Despite that, she didn't think it was right for Toji to hold a grudge like this, especially over something that, while on a very grand scale, was nothing more than an accident.

"He could have! He coulda been more careful," growled the jock, "He coulda done something…"

Shinji started to zone out here, their conversation fading away into muddled noise as he went over what they'd said. Toji believed he could have avoided hurting his sister, and while Shinji regretted it, he wasn't so sure he agreed. The first time this had happened he was just a green rookie who couldn't even make his Eva walk. Realistically, there was no way he should have won that battle. He'd come to accept that he couldn't have protected Toji's sister and Hikari was right – he hadn't even known she was there.

The second time around though, he was better, and he knew he could have done better. Sure, appearing in the entry plug in the middle of the fight hadn't been ideal, but he could have done better that time, right? Or was there really nothing he could have done?

"Oh no," came the malicious voice of Asuka from behind him, "you could have thrown it across the city; somewhere unpopulated. You're just too stupid to have thought about it, Third Child." Shinji's eyes narrowed; he found her timing to be impeccable. Still, what if she'd been hurt before he was sent to this dimension? He never did find out exactly when she received her injuries. Asuka, privy to every one of his thoughts, sneered at the boy as she came up on his side.

"You think that means anything? That just means the other you – who's still you – was too weak to avoid her becoming collateral damage. Besides, what if she had gotten hurt after you arrived here?" Shinji frowned at her words. They made sense – to him anyway. Unlike his first time in that fight, he had known she was somewhere around this time, too. Still, she was so small compared to his Eva, could he have really seen her?

"Don't even try that shit, Third! Unit 01 could have easily picked her up on the monitors!" spat Asuka in reply, conveniently drawing him away from the fact that Unit 01 hadn't noticed her like it probably should have."Stop making fucking excuses! Just face the facts, Third. You're unfit to be a pilot and since you're so damn stupid you let this happen twice. You forgot to even check for her, Third Child. That's the bottom line here. You're pathetic."

Shinji wanted to deny what she'd said, but he couldn't really think up anything in retaliation. She was right; the bottom line was that he'd forgotten to even see if she'd been around while he was fighting. He could blame it on his situation all he wanted, but it didn't change anything. Smiling to herself at making Shinji feel like shit, the Asuka his mind had conjured as punishment started to fade away, satisfied for the moment. Right before she vanished though, she saw something out of the corner of her good eye that brought a wide grin to her lips.

"Well, look who's here. This is going to great."

Asuka's words stirred Shinji from his thoughts, causing him to take in his surroundings once again. He glanced at his friends; they were casting odd looks just to his right. Confused, he turned his heat and dread immediately filled him. Pale skin, equally pale blue hair, and striking red eyes filled his vision – standing right next to him was Rei. He'd been thinking so long that he'd forgotten to separate himself from his friends near the end of lunch so he could make sure this didn't happen.

Damn it, he cursed, I failed again!

"Pilot Ikari, there is an emergency. We are needed at Nerv immediately. I will be going first." With that, giving no regard for what situation he might have been in, Ayanami turned on her heels and ran away. Silence filled the air; a tension so thick it could be cut with a butter knife swelled. Realizing it was too late to try and hide anything now, Shinji did the only thing he could think of. Turning to Toji, he spoke.

"Toji, I-"

And before he could finish, Toji's fist met his face with a crack. Shinji hit the dirt, the jock looming over him with an intense glare as the emergency klaxons blared across Tokyo-3.

Apparently, some things just couldn't be change.

Review please! I'd love to hear what you guys think.