Hello, dear readers. It's the last week of the three weeks from hell, and I'm actually looking forward to see the sale numbers. Eh, for those of you who don't know I'm a baker and pastry maker. I don't know about where you live, but most people want something sweet for Valentine, and last week marked the start of the christina fast, where everyone and their aunt east a cardemum bun filled with almond paste and whipped cream with poudered sugar on (we made aroud 3.500 of those in our bakery). And this week is the inofficial national day of the state where everyone eats marsipan cake, the date and cake decided via dialect, which in my opinion is super stupid but hey, it sells. And who cares if we can or can't keep the procudion up to pace with the demand.

But today's my day off, and I'm going to enjoy it. As I hope you'll all enjoy this last installment of this part. I did talk with my boss as well and had a few days taken out of my schecule, to allow me a bit more rest than one day a week ^^; The pain won't go away obviously, but hopefully it will lessen.

Part 5: Tension

Chapter 3/3: The bonds of Mugiwara crew

"What happened?!"

"Nami-san, you're awake! What are you doing? Go back to bed!"

Zoro stepped around Vivi and met the navigator trying to go out.

"She's safe," he told Nami, looking straight into her eyes. "Got a scare, is all."

"A scare? Really?"

"Yes. The cook's taking care of her and Usopp's keeping watch. Everything's okay."

Zoro led Nami back to the bed and clumsily had her lay back down under the cover that had dropped to the floor. Vivi came forward and pushed Zoro's hands away, to do it properly herself.

The swordsman frowned. Vivi's shove should have been all about Nami's comfort, but had felt much more like the princess was marking her own position and nobody was allowed to invade on her territory. Suddenly Zoro understood why Ruffy was so frustrated. It didn't matter to him though. Vivi could push and shove all she wanted, Zoro was part of this crew, and Nami was his crewmate regardless of who tried to push their way in.

"You shouldn't exert yourself, Nami-san. You must get better quickly," Vivi spoke with a tight, firm voice that tried to sound gentle.

"What happened to Ruffy?" Nami demanded again.

"She's safe," Zoro repeated.

"But…"

"Seriously. What do you think of me?"

Nami looked at him with eyes glassy from illness and worry. Vivi looked between them, lost and ignored.

At last, Nami relaxed. "Right, you wouldn't be here then. But damn, that was uncomfortable."

"Yeah. She's never done that before. I think Usopp did something to counter it though."

"Why am I not surprised he managed something you couldn't," Nami smiled, which widened at whatever Zoro's face was doing. Then she was asleep again, breathing just a tad too heavy, but without snoring, so at least there was nothing clogging her airways.

Vivi sat beside the bed, staring intently at the cover over Nami's chest, but her thoughts appeared far away.

"Something wrong?" Zoro asked her.

"What?"

"You look displeased."

Vivi looked away and didn't answer for a good while. Long enough for Zoro to have almost fallen asleep himself when she did speak.

"What is Ruffy-san's power? She's eaten a devil fruit, but nobody's said what her power is."

"We don't know either."

Vivi blinked up at him. "Say what?"

"It's the necklace, I think. She can't use her devil fruit power because of it, and she can't take it off."

The girl kept blinking. "That doesn't make sense. On Whiskey Peak, wasn't that her devil fruit power?"

Zoro felt his himself tense up. He hated thinking about Whiskey Peak, about Ruffy sleep-walking and the bodies. He'd avoided thinking about it, not wanting to give Ruffy the impression he was afraid of her. He wasn't, not of her. What he did fear was what had happened to make her like that. She had once warned him about diving too deep into her heart, and he had naïvely told her something bold and manly and, in hindsight, ignorant. Did he even want to dive deep enough to find the core of her nightmares?

"I don't know," he answered Vivi's question. "I doubt she does either."

"How is that possible? How can someone not know about their own devil fruit? Isn't that bad? If she doesn't know, how can she control it? It doesn't make sense."

Zoro raised an eyebrow. Vivi was honestly a dubious character whose attitude, personality and morals went in different directions. The only thing Zoro was certain of was that Vivi was forcefully empathetic, and she did need to see Ruffy in a different light.

"You've noticed Ruffy's scars?" he asked, more to direct Vivi's thoughts at them than actually wondering.

"Of… course?" Vivi frowned, different emotions flickering in her expression before it settled on thoughtful, her eyes glazing over. "Ruffy-san… I never thought of it, but doesn't she have too many scars? What happened to her?"

"We don't know, only that it turned her into something that could slaughter a hundred bounty hunters in her sleep."

Vivi straightened, her expression horrified. "But… she's sleeping in Nami-san's bed!"

Zoro shrugged. "We're her crew; we take care of her. And all of us would rather appreciate if you'd stop pushing her away from Nami."

Vivi's face paled, and she said nothing more. Zoro closed his eyes, leaving the princess to her thoughts and fell asleep.

Evening fell. It was still cold, and there was still no island in sight. Not even Ruffy's.

"Not good. We need to anchor for the night," Sanji said, crushed the butt of his cigarette between his teeth before spitting it out over the railing and lighting a new one.

Ruffy said nothing. She hadn't gone down to see Nami all day and she was on another food/drink strike. Sanji had told the others to leave her be.

"It's the stagnation," he'd offered as explanation. Because nothing was happening. Nami-san was still bedridden, the fever wracking her body until she could barely eat. Vivi-chan was still at Nami's side, watching over her, (the only positive was that at least the princess ate everything Sanji offered) no islands in sight, the incident earlier that day and her break-down had left Ruffy in a state of raw frustration.

Vivi-chan's duck was the only relief the crew had right now. Carue pulled at Ruffy's clothes once in a while demanding cuddles, bringing her out of her own head for a few minutes. He played with Usopp and Zoro had found a creative way of using the duck for his training. Curiously, Carue was spending less and less time with Vivi these days. He still went straight to her if she called, but went back to the pirates as soon as Vivi was done with him.

"We can't sail without Nami at night," Usopp muttered begrudgingly as he stared hard at the horizon over the railing he had spent the afternoon trying to repair. If they could just spot an island! Just seeing one right now would be a relief.

"Let's drop the anchor and call it a day," Zoro sighed, glared at Ruffy, wished he could pick her up under his arm and force a full night's sleep on her, but suspected it would only make matters worse. Ruffy clearly couldn't stand to be anywhere near Vivi at the moment. So he and Usopp went down to the girls' room while Sanji climbed the rig to the crow's nest.

The cook spent about half an hour of his watch jumping around the narrow space under clear skies and an almost full moon, wondering if he should head down to fetch a blanket. After another half hour he had to admit he needed the extra layer because the cold was eating away at him.

Ruffy still sat on Merry's head, dressed in a proper jacket, but only her jean shorts, which left her legs bare from the knee down.

Suddenly Sanji had a flash of inspiration. He fetched the extra blanket, wrapped it tight around himself, and walked up to the railing behind his captain.

"Ruffy, can I bother you with a favour?"

The girl turned to glance at him, her eyes reflecting the moonlight the same way a cat's did. Sanji had seen it happen now and again, but it still caught him off guard every time.

"What?"

Flashing a grin to cover up his distraction, Sanji pulled his shoulders up slightly. "Would you mind joining me in the crow's nest? I'm freezing and another body is warmer than a blanket."

It wasn't a lie. It wasn't even a game. The point was to keep warm in the surprisingly steady cold they'd had all day, which was getting worse at night, and the win would be to keep Ruffy warm at the same time.

The sneeze was unplanned, but worked in his favour. Ruffy slowly came down and followed Sanji up into the crow's nest where the cook opened the blanket to invite the girl pirate into his arms, and was stupidly happy when she stepped in and turned to press her back against his chest.

She wasn't very tall, Sanji realized. His chin rested comfortably on Ruffy's head without bending or stretching his neck. He'd love to take this moment to examine her body, see if his efforts to put some shape into her skin had paid off yet, make sure her ribs weren't sticking out. But the jacket was too stuffed, and either way it was probably insensitive of him, coming from a good place or not.

The moonlight reflected the surface of the sea, making it a bright night with a clear view. His breath was misting gently around his mouth and nose and he tapped his feet to keep the blood flowing into his toes.

"Sanji?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I listen to your heart?"

The question brought him up short, surprised. Then he realized he shouldn't be. Ruffy had said she wanted to listen to his heart before, but that she couldn't for her own reasons and for his.

"What will happen when you do?" he asked.

"I will only hear what you open to me. A heart is big. Even Zoro, Nami and Usopp, I haven't heard everything they keep in their hearts. But I can always tell where they are and how they feel. Like the sound of waves. But you? I can't hear you unless you're near. I can't tell if you're okay unless I see you." She pulled the blanket, pressing herself closer as a result, and Sanji felt the slight tremble against his chest.

How does love work? Sanji had read the question in a poem long ago. Now the question was relevant because that slight tremble was all it took. He wanted to give this girl everything she asked, protect her from everything that scared her so that he might never again feel her tremors. Never again see her break apart, shrink away, need for comfort.

"Is it the same as entrusting my heart to you?" he asked, because he needed to know what to give her, what she was asking of him.

"No. Your heart will always be yours alone. I really hate it when people say their hearts belong to someone else. It's a blatant lie. But as for us, for as long as there's a bond between us, we will be able to sense each other. It might be painful though."

Sanji nodded slowly. He remembered the first time Zoro asked him about what he'd seen in Ruffy's heart. He hadn't understood the words back then, but he had wondered about the look on Zoro's face. So Zoro, Nami and Usopp had talked about Ruffy.

"What did you hear in Nami-san's heart?" Sanji asked curiously.

"…her mother and Dadan knew the same lullaby!" Ruffy said with surprise, like she only thought about it now. Sanji thought back to a couple of nights ago, before they reached Little Garden when he'd drugged Ruffy to sleep. Ruffy had been leaning on Nami-san and hummed a melody. It was open and unimportant. Sanji huffed a laugh and felt something inside relax.

"I see. Well then, captain. I don't know how to actively open my heart to you, but I want you to listen to it."

Ruffy turned her head and pressed her ear over Sanji's heart.

The cage was cold, the mask hurt and the dark was weighing down on his mind as if it was something solid. "Failure" stood written across the walls a hundred times in all sizes. A shadow walked outside the bars and set down a small table with a tray of food.

"Dinner is served, prince Sanji."

The words were empty, carrying neither respect nor malice and yet they hurt. They felt twisted and wrong and Sanji pushed them away from him. Away from everyone he loved because what would they do with this fucked up truth?

Gasping, Sanji looked up and through the bars into one on the other side. He blinked.

The cage was cold and the darkness was weighing down on everyone's minds as if it was something solid. They sat there trying to breathe as quietly as possible, waiting for the speaker to tell them what the game was about this time, how they would survive, what the odds were. Ruffy was still reeling. Before she was ushered in here they had read her papers and revealed that she was now fourteen. Fourteen! So many years and Aki was dead and she wanted to throw up from the taste of blood still in her mouth.

"Ruffy!?"

She startled. Sanji saw her look up, a malnourished, frightened creature with blood smeared all over her.

"Is this your heart?"

It couldn't be. He didn't want this! A plate of fancy food stood beside him and he wanted to push it through the bars and give it to her. No, he wanted her out! She shouldn't be in a place like this!

Reaching through the cages, Sanji grabbed Ruffy and pulled with all his might because she didn't fit in a cage! She was supposed to be a pirate! Free!

The bars shattered. Ruffy stood before him in shackles and chains, seventeen with long, lifeless hair, but the air was fresh and clear and full of the smell of tar and salt. They stood on Merry's deck.

"I don't want to see you in chains."

Ruffy smiled a little and lifted her hands. "I can't get rid of these, not yet." She reached out and tapped a finger on the iron mask Sanji was wearing. "I want to free you from this too. Can I do that?"

So the chains were anchors. Something that held her back from reaching for freedom. Sanji touched the iron mask he wore. It was so cold it burned his fingers and he felt the cage open up behind him, ready to embrace him if he ever stepped back again.

"Not yet." He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his captain. "But I want to hold my head high. As high as it sits. I want to straighten my spine and be proud."

Ruffy's arms snaked around him.

A sneeze tore through Sanji and he blinked, wondering if he'd fallen asleep. "Shit, it's cold!"

Something moved in his arms and Ruffy blinked up at him. The moon was out, almost full, and bathed the girl in silver and shadows. Her body felt cold.

"Here, let's run on the spot for a full minute to get our hearts started and blood pumping!" Sanji said, wrapped the extra blanket around the girl and stepped away.

"Don't close your heart to me," she said, her voice full of warning.

"I'm not," Sanji promised. "I promise I won't. Just give me some time, Ruffy. This is… new." He started running on the spot, feeling his heart pump faster and warmth return to his limbs. The feeling of being exposed remained under Ruffy's eyes and regardless how much he moved there was still something inside that felt cold.

"I don't want to see you in a cage."

Sanji stopped. He couldn't look up right away. Then he blinked.

"Is that it?" he asked.

"What?"

"Is that all… you have to say?" because it was out. He was exposed. Ruffy must have heard them, those empty words that meant nothing and frightened him more than anything.

Ruffy's blinking eyes and face twisting in confusion was like a tidal wave of relief, and Sanji felt all his strength seep out of his bones.

"Sanji?! What happened? Why are you crying?!"

"I love you!" he sobbed in gratitude. Because what else could he do? How else could he feel? Stupid? The laughter that bubbled out of him through the tears made him hiccup. "I love you."

Arms wrapped around Sanji and warmth filled him despite the cold air.

"Shit, why have I been ashamed of it for all this time? Had I ever told the old fart he would just have kicked and scolded me and moved on as if I hadn't said anything!" Yes, Zeff would have done exactly that. It seemed so obvious now. Sanji had never told him because the question had never come up. Everyone else and the restaurant would probably have been shocked and then start making fun of him for all they were worth. On this ship too. Because what did it matter? They were pirates.

Sanji laughed, leaning against the mast with Ruffy seated between his knees, staring curiously at him.

"Am I selfish, Ruffy?" he asked.

"Yes. So am I." She smiled brightly. "But I'm glad, because the shame is gone and your heart is open. Now I don't need to worry about you disappearing."

Sanji smiled back. "Of course, Captain. I need you in order to find All Blue."

They laughed together, and Sanji spent the rest of their watch talking Ruffy's ears off about the legends and myths he'd read and heard about All Blue.