Kazuma and Darkness grabbed a table. He then waved over towards the bar where the waitresses were. "Yo, explosion loli, a little service?"

The girl looked annoyed but came over. "What can I get you?"

Grinning, Kazuma leaned back in his chair and deepened his voice. It wasn't often he got the chance to deliver a really cool line.

"How would you like to join us on an adventure?"

The girl's eyes widened as she gave an instant response. "I refuse!"

"Huh? Wha- whoa!" Startled Kazuma had straightened, causing his chair to fall backwards with him in it. He hit the floor with a loud 'bam'. Most of those present burst out laughing. Megumin's snorts were as loud as anyone's.

Kazuma quickly got back to his feet and stared daggers at the girl. "What do you mean you refuse?"

"What do you think I mean? If you're asking me to go on an adventure with you it can only mean one thing. You're just hoping for an excuse to stare at my panties aren't you?"

"What?! I'm not that sort of guy! And if I were there's no way I'd be interested in a middle schooler's like yours! I'll bet they have little stars and kitty cats on them."

Her face reddened and she grabbed the hem of her uniform forcing it down as if to make extra sure to deny Kazuma so much as a single peek. "What my panties look like are none of your business! Now do you want to order something or not?"

"Megumin," Darkness spoke. "I can understand your concern since Kazuma is a ruthless beast who won't hesitate to abuse a woman's chastity."

"Hey! What are you saying?!"

Darkness looked at him in surprise. "What? We both know it's true." As Kazuma sputtered trying to reply she turned back to Megumin. "He is being serious though. We really would like to hire you for an adventure."

"Really?" She sounded suspicious.

Kazuma gave an exasperated sigh and crossed his arms. "Yeah, though I'm already starting to think it's a bad idea."

Megumin appeared dazed, then suddenly planted her hands on her hips and threw her head back. "Heh, heh, heh of course you've come begging for my assistance! It was inevitable you would seek out my immense power in hopes of adding it your own!" She began gesturing wildly with both hands. "Beware though! The power you seek comes at great cost! Do you truly dare to align yourself with the elemental forces of destruction? Are you prepared for what it will demand of you? Are you truly worthy of joining with one such as I?"

Kazuma stood there a moment staring at her as she held her hands out in a dramatic pose. "Yeah, I was just screwing with you, explosion loli. Bring us a couple ales and some spiced potatoes."

Her jaw dropped and she looked comically stunned.

Darkness sighed. "Kazuma, please?"

"Tch, fine," he straightened his chair and sat next to Darkness. "Listen, explosion loli, I'm serious about hiring you. You interested? Try to answer like a normal human being and not like a drama major at try outs."

Her mouth twisted and she glared at him. "Hey, if you want my help could you at least use my name! Stop calling me that! My name is Megumin greatest wizard of the Crimson Demon Clan! You'd do well to remember it!"

Kazuma smirked. "Oh yeah? So, what does the second most powerful wizard in your clan do? Stable boy? Pig tender? Privy cleaner?"

Her cheeks darkened and she looked annoyed.

"Do you still want to be an adventurer or is waitressing your new career path?"

"Of course I'm an adventurer! I'm an archwizard! One of the most advanced and respected classes!"

He grinned and looked her over from head to toe. She was of course in her waitress uniform. "Sorry, I should have recognized you in your wizard robes, my mistake."

"Why are you always such a jerk?!"

He shrugged. "I'm only ever a jerk to the people who annoy me or deserve it. You just happen to fall into both categories."

"If I had my staff right now I'd blow you up!"

"Well you'd sort of have to wouldn't you? It's not like you know any other spells."

She glared at him so furiously he half expected to spontaneously combust.

Darkness coughed into her hand and gave him a pleading look.

He sighed and put a hand up. "Okay, let's call a truce here, Megumin. I am interested in hiring you as a freelancer. We want to take this quest and your power would come in really handy." He took out the notice and placed it down on the table.

Megumin came over to look at it. "Sand Wyrm? Heh, I can see why you'd need the power of explosion to deal with it. Without my help this would probably be completely impossible for you." She gave him a smug grin.

"That's true," he admitted. "So if you say no we'll take the quest to exterminate a pack of dire wolves instead."

"No! I… I mean I'd be willing to work with you. I'd have to take time off from my job though, so… how much would my share be?"

Kazuma didn't know exactly how much the wait staff at the guild made, but he guessed it would be comparable to construction. If so it wasn't much. Plus, he'd overheard her and the other waitresses complain plenty about their pay. He could also hear a twinge of desperation when she asked about her share. His initial instinct was to offer her one tenth of the reward, one million eris. He was willing to bet that was more than she'd make waitressing half a year. And it wasn't as though she had better options. He was sure she would accept.

But despite what some people might think, Kazuma wasn't that bad of a person. He believed that if someone shared the danger and work equally they deserved to share in the reward, whether they were permanent or temporary party members. He still remembered that Roland had offered him an equal share and the others had agreed to it. If someone was ready to risk their lives for you the least you owed them was fair treatment.

"If we complete the quest you get a full and equal share," he saw her face light up and continued with a sharp tone. "BUT there are a couple conditions you need to agree to. If you can't or won't we'll forget this."

She gulped and looked worried. "I'm listening."

"First off, you will absolutely not use explosion without my say so. I've seen how dangerous it is, and to be honest, I don't trust the judgement of someone who'd rather beg in the streets than learn more magic. You don't cast it until I say so. You even think of using that spell without my permission I will pour out an entire jar of monster attractor and leave you to your fate. Got me?"

"Kazuma!" Darkness cried. "How can you be so cruel? Why would you offer to do that to her but not me?"

Megumin paled and her eyes widened. "Okay, I understand. I promise not to use it without your say so."

"Good. Second, as long as you're traveling with us you do as I say. You don't get a vote in anything. We set out when I say, we camp when I say, we fight when I say, and we run when I say. If I tell you to do something you do it! No back talk no arguments. When we're in the field I am God so far as you're concerned."

Megumin gaped and turned to Darkness. "Is he really this much of an asshole?"

Darkness gave a contented nod. "He is a ruthless savage who always gets his way."

"I don't do it to just get my way," he said annoyed. "I do it because I'm the only one with any common sense."

"Fine, I'll do what you say, but I want to add a condition of my own."

"Oh?"

"While we're party members I want you to call me by my name. Don't call me explosion loli. I am the archwizard Megumin, greatest of the Crimson Demon Clan! Soon to be slayer of a mighty Sand Wyrm! At least while we're traveling together treat me with a little respect!"

Kazuma chuckled. "You know what? I guess that's fair." He held out his hand to her. "Welcome to the team, Megumin."

"Thank you!" She happily shook his hand.

"I welcome you as well and promise to keep you safe even at the risk of my life and dignity." Darkness extended her hand and they shook as well.

"You won't regret this," Megumin promised. "I definitely won't let you down."

"I don't doubt it," Kazuma said. "Please meet us at the main gate tomorrow by dawn and pack everything you need for a journey."

"Right."

"Now then, why don't you get us those two ales and bowl of spiced potatoes? And make it snappy, explosion loli."

Her jaw dropped and she glared at him. "Hey! We just agreed that you wouldn't call me that!"

"Yeah," he said with a mocking smile. "But only while we're on the road. Until then you're still a waitress and I'm a paying customer. Now get to it grade schooler." He snapped his fingers at her.

"So humiliating," Darkness sighed happily.

Megumin glowered at him but did as she was told and brought out the drinks and a bowl of potatoes.

She also spat into his ale without Kazuma noticing.