The party returned to the guild hall. Kazuma's clothes were slightly singed and he was out of breath. Darkness's armor was in need of repair but she was in a good mood. Megumin strode into the hall as though she owned it. She climbed on top of an empty table, slammed the butt of her staff down on it, and gave her cape a dramatic swirl.

"Attention!" The guild was as loud and boisterous as usual. Many amused faces turned in her direction. "I wish to announce that I, Megumin, greatest and most powerful of the Crimson Demon Clan spell casters have just returned from a difficult and death-defying mission. I single handedly destroyed a Sand Wyrm with the most powerful spell known to all creation, Explosion! It was glorious!" She began waving a hand about her face. "Yes! I proved myself a great hero by reducing such a terrible monster to pieces! Through my own genius and will I…"

As Megumin continued to regale her audience Kazuma opened up his purse and pulled out a single copper coin. "Snipe!"

He threw the coin as hard as he could and nailed the archwizard square in her toosh.

"Any of you who may want autographs can- Ow!" She leapt up and grabbed her butt. This instantly threw her off balance and the entire guild hall burst out laughing as she tumbled off the edge of the table.

Darkness looked over at Kazuma who had a wide grin on his face.

"You really enjoy humiliating women in public, don't you Kazuma?"

"Nah, I'm okay with doing it in private too."

Darkness shut her eyes and let out a groan.

Luna helped Megumin get back to her feet, then asked if she could bring some food to table nine.

XXX

They confirmed the Sand Wyrm's death and successful completion of the mission. They each received three million, three hundred and thirty-three thousand and three hundred and thirty-three eris. The one extra was left as a tip for the house. Kazuma had most of his money put in the vault, but did ask for some to be paid out in coin. He then turned to Darkness.

"Hey, do you know where the nearest church of Eris is?"

Darkness looked at him in surprise. "Of course," she pointed to the shoulder plate that was in the shape of a wing. "I am a follower. I didn't realize you were as well."

"Yeah, I didn't used to be, but I am now. I want to stop by and make a donation."

The two of them went to the nearest temple. (Megumin stayed to tell the waitresses and a few others about her adventure.) They found a young priest on duty along with a couple acolytes. Kazuma handed over five gold coins. The priest was very surprised but thanked him profusely. Darkness was almost as amazed.

Darkness's eyebrows rose. "Kazuma, that's half a million eris. I never knew you were so generous."

"Let's just say I value my life highly. I just earned more than three million, so I can afford it. Besides Eris did me a favor, and I don't forget the people who help me."

"What favor was that?" A familiar voice said from the entrance to the temple.

Kazuma turned around to see Chris standing there grinning. "Chris! What are you doing here?"

"Oh I was just passing by. I guess it was just good luck I showed up when you and Darkness are here."

"I've been looking for you, where have you been?"

She winked at him and put a finger to her lips. "It's a secret. So what was this favor Eris did for you?"

Kazuma happily related the story of running for his life from a pack of naked mole rats and how a building miraculously collapsed after he asked the goddess for help. He hadn't mentioned the prayer before, so Darkness was quite amazed.

"That is incredible, Kazuma! The goddess is known to occasionally help her favorites, but something like this?" She clasped her hands together. "The goddess must truly like you!"

"Well I like her too," Kazuma said. "That's why I'm joining her church."

"Well, I'll bet she's very happy to have you as a follower. Here," Chris held out her hand. In her palm was a gold chain with a wing.

"What's this?" Kazuma asked. The wing was similar to the one on Darkness's armor.

"Just a little something I found on the street. Someone must have lost it. It's a symbol of Eris with a blessing on it. If you wear it, it will give you minor protection from undead and a slight boost to your luck skill." She giggled. "Not that you really need it."

"Whoa! So, it's a magical item and you're just giving it to me? Thanks!" He quickly put it around his neck and then hid the medallion beneath his chain mail. "You're seriously the best, Chris!"

Darkness coughed into her hand. "Kazuma, normally when a man receives such an unexpected gift from a woman he would decline it or at the very least ask her if she was sure she wanted to part with it."

"Yeah, I know. Most guys are idiots."

Darkness sent her friend an apologetic look and then bowed in her direction. "I am sorry, but you know what a selfish beast he is."

"Hey! I think it would be rude not to accept!"

Chris giggled and shook her head. "It's okay, Darkness. I like him this way."

Hearing that made Kazuma feel warm inside.

"I'm really glad to see you and Darkness getting along. I've heard about all the missions you've gone on. I just knew the two of you would make a good team. That's why I introduced you."

"Really? I sort of thought it was because you were mad at me for stealing your panties."

Darkness gasped. "So cruel."

Chris stood there grinning. "So, Kazuma, you said you were looking for me? Did you want me to teach you some more skills?" She suddenly gasped and put a hand to her mouth. "Or… or were you wanting to take my panties again? That's it isn't it?"

The priest and acolytes took a couple steps away from Kazuma and started whispering to each other.

Kazuma sighed. "Let's go talk somewhere else before you get me banned."

XXX

They returned to the guild hall to find Megumin busy bussing tables while still wearing her wizard robes and hat. Megumin told them this was a one time thing because they were short staffed and it was a favor to Luna.

Kazuma ordered a round of drinks and sat down at a table with Chris and Darkness. He wasted no time telling Chris what he wanted.

"I've kept five skill slots open just for thieving skills. What do you think would work best for me?"

"Aren't there skills you're specifically looking for?" Chris asked in surprise. "Usually people want something specific, or at least have a general idea."

"Eh, to be honest I've done pretty well with what I have so far. I figured that since you're a way better thief than me you'd have a good idea of that would be useful. I trust you, so I'll listen to whatever you suggest."

Her cheeks flushed in a cute way. "Th... Thank you, Kazuma. That's very flattering to hear."

"Hey, you helped me out when no one else would and when there was nothing in it for you. I don't ever forget the people who help me."

Chris's blush got deeper, and she hurriedly took a sip of ale.

"I've helped you too," Darkness muttered.

"Huh? Did you say something?"

"Nothing," Darkness quickly took a swallow of ale as well.

"Well I do have some ideas," Chris said as she set her mug down. "If you have five slots I would recommend; Pick Locks, Set Traps, Climb, Read Lips, and Identify."

"Okay, I can see why a thief would want to be able to pick locks and set traps. I didn't think climbing was a thief ability."

"It's not exclusive to thieves, obviously, but when you're sneaking through the back ways or running from the guards being able to scale a wall can be the difference between life and death. It's very useful, especially in an urban setting."

"Okay, what about, 'Read Lips?'"

"It's a great way to spy on people. You'll be surprised how much information people will just let slip out when they think no one is in earshot. You already have the Farseeing ability, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well combing that with lip reading will let you spy on people through windows or folk half a mile away. If you're interested in information gathering it's a must."

"I guess I can see that. I assume, 'Identify' is the ability to know what something's magical properties are?"

"It does that and a lot more. It'll tell you the properties of anything you look at, not just items but living beings too. If you run across a monster you can instantly identify its race and base statistics. Pretty handy is you bump into something unfamiliar. As for items, not only will it spot any magical qualities, it will also tell you it's base market value. Helps with sorting treasure and if you need to bargain."

That sounds like something straight out of an RPG. He nodded. "Yeah, that does all sound really great, please show them to me."

Chris identified everything about his dagger. She read the lips of a guy halfway across the room who was complaining about his wife forcing him to watch the kids while she visited her mom. She climbed up the side of the wall. Chris set a bucket of water over the front door, as this apparently counted as a 'trap.' (It worked getting Mohawk Guy drenched and laughed at by everyone. Kazuma bought him an ale.) Finally, she picked one of the coin chests behind the counter as Luna stood over her shoulder keeping a very close eye on her. And with that Kazuma acquired five new thief skills.

Chris sat back down to finish her ale. "Anything else I can do for you?"

"As a matter of fact you still owe me a favor for me agreeing to help, Darkness. Remember?"

She blinked. "I thought teaching you these skills was the favor." She sounded much too innocent.

"Nice try, I never said that, and you didn't bring it up, so no way does that count. Besides, showing a skill never costs more than a drink or a free meal. I'll buy you four more ales if you want."

"Fine, fine," she held up her hands in mock surrender. "I do owe you one. So, what do you want from me?"

He gave her an excited smile. "Go out on a date with me."

"What?!" Both Chris and Darkness cried out.

He sat back and continued to smile. "I want a date, Chris."