It's My Life
As Harry had told his father, he gave serious thought to the offer he'd been extended. To take his NEWT exams early, and if he passed, he could be considered a graduate of Hogwarts, and be considered an adult a year early, and then teach Defense Against the Dark Arts at the school. Sadly, no matter how much thought he gave the idea; he couldn't reach a decision. It had been three days since, making it now the 10th of July. Harry just didn't know what to do, and the hard part was knowing that the longer he spent trying to decide; the less time he was getting to study for the exams. Harry felt he would pass some without a problem, but then there were just as many he wasn't so confident about.
It was a lot to figure out, but a great opportunity he shouldn't ignore. Harry would need his father's tutelage for potions, hands down. Hermione brewed Polyjuice potion at twelve while Harry and Ron basically watched and got ingredients for her. Harry was taught the patronus charm by Remus at thirteen as a defense against dementor attacks. Harry was very good at defensive magic and he had taught it to other students of all ages last year, but was that enough to say he could do it full time? He had his father's vote of confidence and support to the idea and Harry knew that he would not have to break up with Draco. There were some limits, but that was a given.
"I suppose I could give it a try. If I pass, I go on to teach DADA at Hogwarts. If I fail, I return to Hogwarts for sixth and seventh year. No harm in trying." Harry decided.
Right now, it was only 7:00 am. Harry had woken up at 6 am, already showered and dressed for the day. Harry had brushed his teeth and hair, now he was staring in the mirror of the bathroom as he'd chosen what he wanted to do. Harry would attempt taking his NEWTs, pass or fail, it was a chance worth taking. Harry still worried about the responses he'd get from friends if he passed. If Harry became their teacher, it was going to be a shock and Harry would have to be entirely professional with them in classes and while grading their work.
Harry just hoped that if he ended up their teacher, they wouldn't get upset with him for advancing two years early and also the truthfulness of the grades he gave. It would hurt if they abandoned him over this. But either way, the first step was letting his father know that he'd decided on and then Harry was going to have to study like hell until the end of August. Harry exited the bathroom and grabbed his wand from the nightstand before heading out of his bedroom to get downstairs. It was no surprise that Severus was already down in the great room. Same with Lucius. Everyone else usually sauntered down for breakfast by 7:45 am because the meal was served at 8 am.
Harry strolled into the great room as the adult males looked over at him. "Good morning, Father. Lucius." Harry greeted.
"Good morning, my son." Severus smiled.
"Morning, Harry. I trust you slept well?" Lucius asked.
"Enough to not be tired or feel like I didn't sleep at all as it's been in the past." Harry replied.
"Wonderful to hear." Severus nodded his head approvingly.
"Dad. I've given thought to what you asked and I think I've come to a decision." Harry mentioned to his father.
"Oh? And what choice is that, Harry?" Severus inquired.
"I've decided that I'd like to try it." Harry said.
"I'm so glad you decided to give it a chance, son. I'll make the arrangements at the ministry and let Minerva know." Severus stated.
"What is this all for?" Lucius wondered.
"Harry has agreed to take his NEWTs early, at a chance to graduate two years ahead of time and if passing, become the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher for Hogwarts." Severus reminded his friend.
"Ah, yes. I did call a meeting with the board after you brought the idea to me. As expected, they're all hesitant, but willing to agree if Harry passes. Everyone is on board with it. Harry passes his required NEWTs and they will approve the motion for him to become a teacher at the school." Lucius informed.
"And required counts as core classes?" Severus questioned Lucius.
"Herbology, Potions, Transfiguration, Charms, History of Magic, Astronomy and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Yes. Harry is free to try his hand at any of the NEWTs offered for his elective classes taken over the years too. What have you taken from third year to fifth year, Harry?" Lucius asked.
"Um…I took Care of Magical Creatures, and Divination in third year. Arithmancy, Divination and Ancient Runes in fourth. I did return to Care of Magical Creatures in fifth, as well as Arithmancy. I chose against Ancient Runes because I'd done well there in fourth and felt I didn't need the class to study it further outside of school, if I wanted. To me, Muggle Studies was useless because I literally grew up as a muggle. There's nothing that class could teach me I didn't already know about. Same with Art, and Music." Harry informed.
"Wait, how did you take the Muggle Studies OWL if you never took the class?" Severus remarked.
"I asked for it, just to see how I'd do." Harry admitted. "Waiting on results still."
"Those should be in by August." Severus enlightened.
"Well, it's up to you on what you take, but the seven core is not up for debate." Lucius said.
Harry nodded. "I feel pretty confident about Charms and Transfiguration. History of Magic, as boring as it is, doable. Astronomy should be easy. I spent a lot of time looking at the stars on nights I couldn't sleep. It's one thing I missed this year being in the dungeons. But studying the sea life of the Black Lake was fun too." Harry paused. "Herbology might be alright too."
"But you worry for the others? Potions and Defense?" Severus questioned. Harry nodded. "I think you'll do just fine in Defense, Harry," Severus stated as Lucius nodded. "After all, you've done well enough that Minerva handpicked you over me for the job. But, if it makes you more at ease, son…I will tutor you in it. As well as potions. The others you can study for at your convenience. Of course, I'm available to help with those as well."
"Thanks, Dad." Harry smiled a bit.
"Then Severus and I will set up the arrangements at the Ministry of Magic for you to take your NEWTs. You just let one of us know what you'll be taking, so they can make up the exam schedule for you. It will have to be before school resumes in September." Lucius told Harry.
The teenager nodded. "I'll decide by the end of the day for you,"
"Much obliged." Lucius replied.
"Wasn't…There something else you wanted to ask Lucius, Harry?" Severus brought up.
"Hm? Oh! Right. I wanted to ask, sir, if you knew anything about the dark lord splitting his soul over the years and hiding the pieces?" Harry inquired.
Lucius looked at Severus, who nodded. "It's fine, Lucius. Harry has already asked me the same, and there's a reason behind the inquiry."
"Well, I know that it's very dark, and rare magic. I cannot say for certain the process, but I believe there has been mention of the dark lord surviving all those years after the night your parents died because despite his body being destroyed, he had things to fall back on." Lucius revealed. "He made mention of it during a meeting just this year on the topic, but nothing in great detail, I'm afraid, Harry." He added. "It's been said the only way to split the soul is through murder, and the dark lord has a few of those under his belt, so to speak."
"That's what Dad said too…" Harry thought about it.
"May I inquire as to why you're asking?" Lucius wondered.
"What Albus said the day he was sentenced has been bugging me. He said the dark lord cannot be destroyed until the pieces of his soul are, so I'm leaning towards these pieces being Voldy's fall back so he can't die." Harry told them. "I can't get rid of him until I find the pieces of his soul and destroy them. And Dumbledore is gone so I can't ask him." He paused. "Merlin, I have no idea where to even start with that. The only piece of his soul I know is gone is the one that was inside me."
Severus and Lucius both froze and stared at Harry. "What? What did you just say?" Severus demanded calmly.
"Right, you didn't know about that because I forgot to bring it up. Sorry, Dad…" Harry shrugged apologetically. "Remember the day that Dumbledore whispered something to me and I passed out for two days…Then I forgot what he'd mentioned?" The two males nodded. "Okay so…The day I heard the prophecy, it came back and I sort of, maybe…Tested a theory without running it by you and risked my life to do it…"
Severus stiffened at the idea of Harry purposely endangering his life to test something. "Deep breaths, Severus…" Lucius coached.
"Harry, what did you do? Tell me the truth, all of it, and I won't get mad…" Severus asked.
"Dumbledore had told me that the night my parents died, and my mum cast herself between me and Voldemort, the curse rebounded. A part of Voldy latched itself onto the only living thing in the room…Me. A part of Voldemort has been living inside me, and that's the reason I can speak to snakes, and that we had that connection. According to Dumbledore, at least." Harry explained.
"Go on with this…Theory you tested?" Severus pushed.
"I-I let Voldemort try to kill me on purpose that day in the ministry when we fought." Harry confessed. "The day Sirius died and I egged Voldemort to go ahead and try to kill me."
"You did what?!" Shouted a stunned Remus. "Harry, why on-,"
"Shut it, wolf!" Severus glared. By this point, everyone had joined in the room and was silent at what Harry just revealed. "Harry…You know what I'm going to ask you, and I pray you have a good reason or so help me, young man, I will ground you for endangering your life on purpose."
Harry took a breath. "Albus told me what I already revealed to you. He told me there was a piece of the dark lord inside me and he said that it's why he wanted me compliant and self-sacrificing because the only way to kill Voldemort was if that piece of him was destroyed. The only way to kill that piece was to kill me, so it would die with me." He informed.
"The next thing that rang strange was during Dumbledore's sentencing, when he said there were more pieces of the dark lord's soul about somewhere and they all had to be destroyed for Voldemort to be killed. I…Didn't know what it was about that, but it gave me the feeling that it meant these pieces being destroyed made the dark lord mortal again. Nothing to fall back on, which is what Lucius just confirmed for me. He's using these pieces to stay alive, and as long as they're around; he can't be killed."
"I'm waiting for the part where you tell me why you risked your life on a theory…" Severus said.
"It was a theory based on what I'd been told. Destroying the pieces weren't supposed to kill the dark lord, just make him killable. So, again, I got the idea that perhaps if I let Voldemort try to kill me…He'd actually only end up killing himself. Or, rather, a piece of himself…So that's why I let him kill me that day." Harry revealed lightly.
"But you didn't die!" Remus stated quickly. "You went unconscious, and were rolled over…But you got back up like a minute later."
"No…I actually died. A minute for you out there was about fifteen minutes for me in what I'd call limbo." Harry remarked.
"Explain…" Severus urged, trying not to get angry. But it wasn't even really anger, it was fear that Harry actually put his life on the line over theory. This had to be what Harry felt last week with Severus risking his life, and Harry was scared to lose him.
"It's really easier to explain if I just show you what it was to me…" Harry sighed as he summoned down his pensive and then focused the memory forward before pulling it out and setting it in the basin. Harry tapped the edge of the object once as the liquid floated up and appeared like a screen for them to see what Harry had that day after letting the dark lord kill him.
"The hell is that thing?!" Pansy screeched at the fetal position looking at Voldemort.
"What was technically the part of Voldemort that had been living inside me." Harry informed gently. When the memory ended, Harry looked to the others. "It was just like Dumbledore had said. Technically, I had to die, for Voldemort to die. I know he's not dead yet, but he killed the part of himself that lived in me…That means there's one less soul piece I have to worry about destroying." Harry informed.
"This, Dad, is why I said I didn't need to worry about the connection anymore. I don't have to occlude constantly because I severed the connection between me and Voldemort. He can't use the link between us against me because it doesn't exist anymore. He destroyed it himself."
"You still died!" Remus glared. "Of all the stupid and foolish-,"
"Uncle Remy, I had no choice!" Harry snapped at him. "Whether it had been that day or three years from now, sooner or later, I would have had to let Voldemort kill me to destroy that piece. Dumbledore was not wrong about what he said. I had to die to kill that piece. The only thing Dumbledore was wrong about was the fact I'd come back, assumingly, because he didn't know. All he knew was I'd have to die. The part about it that he couldn't have seen was Voldemort killed his own soul, not mine. There was no way to remove it otherwise, so no matter what…Eventually, it would have come down to me dying."
Remus was quiet, still stunned. "But Harry, I think the part he's upset about is that you didn't know you'd return…" Draco frowned. "You just knew you had to die and we all believed you had…"
"That was the risk I took. Yes. I took the risk of letting myself get killed with no idea that it would actually work. But at the end of the day, what I told Remus and all of you hasn't changed. If I hadn't done it then…It would have had to happen eventually. My only theory on why I might not actually die for good was what Albus said about there being pieces all over, hidden away, that allowed the dark lord to not be destroyed. That those had to be rid of first to make the dark lord mortal. My theory was letting him kill me to destroy his soul piece, and obviously, it was right." Harry remarked.
"Harry…I swear to Merlin, you better never do something like that again." Severus warned. "So help me, I may kill you myself…" He sighed in relief that his son was alright.
"I don't think I'll be needing to die to kill a piece of a soul inside me again, but…I understand the context, Dad…" Harry nodded. "But in reality…I didn't think I could tell you what Dumbledore had said to me. If you'd been warned, you wouldn't have let me do it. Because of the uncertainty of not knowing if I'd return." He explained.
"That's basically me approaching you and saying hey, dad, there's a piece of the dark lord living inside me and unfortunately, the only way to get rid of it is for me to die so you know, love you but time to die to save the world. Do I have your blessing? Would that have sounded better…? There was no way to warn you of this. Yes. I took a risk on very little information…But it worked out and now, that piece is gone. C-Can't we be thankful for that?"
"Harry, I'm more thankful than you'll ever know…But still. We agreed that neither of us want to lose the other. I understand the situation as well, but it was hard to watch and even more so with the unknown factor." Severus said. "But you could have warned me."
"There wasn't time, Dad…I remembered what Albus said to me holding the prophecy in my hand. You hadn't come yet. The fight broke out moments later…" Harry told him.
"You could have not gone after Bellatrix and told me." Severus sighed.
"Okay, yes, I suppose I could have…But I was just a little upset at the fact she killed my godfather and didn't want her getting away. I was grieving and running on adrenaline and pain…You can't fault me for being rash." Harry tried.
"I can and I will. And you will absolutely be watching yourself from now on because now we know that piece is gone. If you die, Harry…You're not getting another chance. This was your one escape death card." Severus informed.
"Technically, it's his, like…Fifth, Uncle Sev. Harry escaped death many times at the hand of the dark lord." Draco shrugged.
"First year wasn't really facing death, I just went unconscious. Second year might have been closer to death with the Basilisk. Fourth could have been if I hadn't gotten away, he did try to hit me with the killing curse, and I held it off with my own spell. You saw the battle of our wands just this year. Fourth was like that, only I broke the connection and got away." Harry shrugged.
"So as I said…This was your one return to life chance. You won't have another, Harry…I mean it, no more life-risking situations." Severus demanded.
"Yes, Father…But you know there's going to be risk in the final battle…" Harry reminded. "If you want a warning that I could die, this is that now. You're right, I don't have his soul residing in me. If he kills me in the final battle, I'm gone for good. You know it can't be avoided, Dad…It has to be me. I'm the one with the power to vanquish him, even if I don't know what the power is yet."
"I know, Harry. Merlin, I hate it…But I know. Right about now, I wish you'd have left that piece alone and taken the risk another time, as in the final battle. Knowing what I do now, at least I'd know you'd come back." Severus closed his eyes. "Just…Just please be careful, son?"
"I'll do my very best, Father." Harry nodded as he hugged Severus tightly. Of course, the man hugged Harry back.
"Now, let's all go enjoy breakfast." Narcissa stated with a smile when the boys separated.