"Will we ever get a normal vacation?!" Rory screamed as they ran down the halls of their hotel
"For the hundredth time, I'm sorry! How was I supposed to know all these things would be here trying to get us?" The Doctor questioned
"Things seem to follow us wherever we go!" Amy yelled back
"Fair point! In here," he directed them into a random room so they could catch their breaths and form a plan
They had just gotten into the room and closed the door when they heard shouting and screaming coming from inside. They all turned quickly and realized the nose was coming from behind the bathroom door.
"Try to leave one problem and walk straight into another," Rory sighed
"Let's see what it is," Amy said as she pushed them forwards
They crept slowly towards the door, unsure of what they might find. When they reached the door the sight that greeted them was unexpected. In the tub sat two people who had their eyes closed and were heavily breathing. It wasn't hard to guess what they had just been doing. Neither of them seemed to notice the new additions, too wrapped up in post-coital bliss. It was River Song and a stranger. Well, a stranger to all but one.
"Melody!" Amy gasped
"Mum?" River responded sleepily
"That's your mother?" The guy under her asked
"Who the hell are you!?" Amy demanded
"I'm the Doctor," he replied as he rubbed River's back
"You're the Doctor? He's the Doctor" Rory said dumbly. He still had his back turned and was trying to get past seeing his daughter in that state
"Ugh, that's me?" Ten groaned which earned him a shoulder slap from River
Eleven had noticeably gone quiet. He didn't remember ever being intimate with her in his last body. He had always thought she erased his memory in his last bodies but he never thought she would take away something this big. How many other times had she done this with one of his other selves? The idea should make him angry but he found himself being turned on. His wife was fucking her way up and down his timeline. He walked over and knelt next to the tub, completely forgetting about the other Ponds in the room.
"Hi honey, I'm home," he whispered as he captured her lips in a kiss
"Mmm, what sort of time do you call this?" She hummed as she rubbed the two Doctors' cheeks, "We could've used you an hour ago. Two of you, how the mind races."
Rory visibly heaved and Amy immediately moved to grab the Doctor and threw a robe at River. While shouting some very choice words sounding more Scottish than ever.