AN: We have reached the end. I want to send out a huge thank you to everyone who has followed me on this journey, and especially to those of you who have taken the time to leave a review – they really warm my heart! I hope you enjoy the epilogue…
Thanks to WalkerTRngr for the amazing help with this whole story!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything relating to CSI
Epilogue
Sara sends off a text before going to set the table, carefully lining up the cutlery and putting two candles in the pair of candlestick holders. She's just placed the fancy napkins folded into flowers – she might have looked up how to fold them online – onto the plates when her phone pings with an incoming message, and she hurries back to the kitchen.
Leaving now, be there in ten
She smiles at the response before opening the pre-heated oven to put the food she picked up from The Peppermill earlier in to heat up – Grissom has been trying to teach her to cook over the last few months, and she is getting better, but she doesn't want to risk anything tonight.
She goes into the bedroom, slipping out of the robe she put on after her shower earlier, and pulls on the new panties she picked up a few days ago, for this exact evening. The matching bra makes her feel sexy in a way she hasn't in a long time, and she smiles at her reflection before pulling the dress she picked out over her head.
It's a dark purple, bodice form-fitting but skirt loose and flaring a little around her thighs. She doesn't bother with pantyhose, since they won't be leaving the apartment anyway, but does find a pair of pumps to finish off the outfit.
Returning to the kitchen, she checks on the food and then forces herself to lean against the counter and take a breath.
It's been six months since their first kiss. Six months of fancy dinners and take-out on the couch, of operas and movie marathons, of days off at Lake Mead and road trips through the desert with no destination in mind.
And they're still stuck somewhere between second and third base.
But that ends tonight, she's decided. Hence the fancy takeout, new lingerie, slightly over the top dress, and general sense of anxiety currently coursing through her.
It's not like she thinks he doesn't want her. She knows he does, as a matter of fact, both from him telling her so in no uncertain terms and from, well… physical evidence. But there's something holding him back, and she's pretty sure she knows what it is.
Sara's hoping they can work through it. Preferably tonight.
Checking the time, she lights the candles before opening a bottle of wine and setting it on the table. When there's a knock on the door, she quickly turns the oven off and places the two plates on the table before going to open.
"Hi." Grissom smiles when he sees her, tugging her in for a hello kiss.
"Hi." She steps back. "How was court?"
"Court was… court." His eyes widen when he takes in her appearance, and then he frowns. "Are we celebrating? Did I forget something?"
She offers a reassuring smile. "No, you didn't forget anything. I just… it's the first time we both have the night off in… ages. I thought that was worth celebrating…"
The frown on his face morphs into a soft smile as she speaks, and when she goes quiet, he steps forward, sliding a hand around her waist to pull her closer. "I think that's a perfect idea," he tells her before leaning in for another kiss, deeper this time. She slides her arms around his neck, holding him there for a moment, before slipping out of his embrace.
"Come on, let's eat before the food gets cold." He looks a little apprehensive at that and she rolls her eyes. "I didn't cook, relax!"
She leads the way into the living area, stopping a little nervously by the set table.
"This looks amazing," Grissom says immediately, squeezing her hand. "You didn't have to get meat for me, though."
It's a conversation they've had before – he never orders meat when they go out together or order takeout, even though she tells him it's fine, and everything he cooks for them is vegetarian.
"I know, but I wanted tonight to be special."
He quirks an eyebrow at that as he pulls the chair out for her, but doesn't press the issue.
They talk about their planned getaway in September while they eat – just the Labor Day weekend, but they're going to Los Angeles and Sara's meeting his mother for the first time, which she's naturally nervous about – and about the case he just testified for. They did try, early on, to keep work out of their conversations at home, but it just wasn't possible. They both enjoy the mind puzzle of talking through open cases, and the satisfaction – or frustration – of analyzing the final outcome in court.
When both plates are empty, Grissom jumps to his feet. "Sit, I've got the dishes."
"OK," she agrees, but still gets to her feet and follows him into the kitchen.
"Did you not just agree to let me handle this?" he asks amusedly when he turns from the dishwasher.
Sara raises her hands in surrender. "Not touching the dishes, I'm just getting the dessert."
"There's dessert?"
"Mm-hmm."
She opens the fridge and finds the martini glasses she used for the dark chocolate mousse, since she doesn't have any ice cream bowls. She goes to put them on the coffee table before returning for the bowl of strawberries and then settles on the couch.
It only takes another minute before Grissom joins her, their wine glasses in hand.
"Good call," she says with a smile, accepting hers.
"It's not champagne, but I bet it tastes good with strawberries and chocolate anyway," he reasons, leaning back against the couch.
Grabbing one of the martini glasses and the strawberries, Sara twists so she's facing him. Picking up a strawberry, she dips it into the chocolate mousse before holding it out for him.
"I wondered why there were no spoons," he says, voice quiet, and bites the tip off the berry.
"I did actually forget the spoons," she admits, biting her lip on a smile. "But I think this works…"
She dips the rest of the strawberry in the mousse again and pops it into her own mouth, the tastes exploding on her tongue.
While she chews, Grissom reaches for a berry and repeats her motions, dipping it in the mousse. He waits until she's swallowed and then holds the treat up for her, and she surprises him by taking the whole thing into her mouth, her lips closing around his fingers. His eyes widen and she can almost see his pupils dilate.
"Sorry, did you want to share?" she asks, voice sultry, when she's swallowed again.
"No, no, that was… much better than sharing," he replies, sounding a little breathless.
"I don't mind sharing," she continues, picking out another berry and scooping up some mousse. Instead of holding it out for him, though, she bites lightly into one end of the berry, closing her lips around the juicy flesh.
He reaches out, brushing away a few drops of juice that escape down her chin, and then leans in to bite off the tip of the berry, their lips brushing briefly. He pulls away much too quickly, though, making Sara let out a disappointed half-whine.
"I thought we were having dessert?" he asks innocently, though his eyes are twinkling.
Well, two can play that game.
She grabs another strawberry, dipping it in the mousse before lifting it to her mouth. Instead of biting into the berry, though, she lets her tongue dart out to lick the mousse off, finishing off by closing her lips around the fruit and then slowly extracting it.
Grissom's eyes are intent on the display, and when she finally pops the berry in her mouth, he quickly reaches for another one.
He doesn't dip this one, though, instead moves closer, nudging her chin up with his free hand to get access to her throat, and placing a soft kiss on her skin. He shifts, kissing another spot, and at the same time, she feels the tip of the moist berry slide along her skin, more erotic than she could have imagined. She gasps, which makes him nip at her throat, and tangles a hand in his hair.
She hears him bite into the berry, and then feels his mouth against her skin again, his tongue moving the piece of juicy strawberry against her. A moment later, he moves back momentarily to swallow the fruit, only to bite off another piece, repeating the motions, this time down over her collar bone and to the curve of her breast.
When he moves back, Sara's breathing heavily, and it takes a moment to get her eyes to open. He's watching her, a soft smile on his face.
"Did I tell you that I love this dress?" he asks, fingers fiddling with the hem. "You look absolutely gorgeous."
"You didn't, but thank you."
In one swift motion, she swings one leg over him, straddling his lap. His hands come up to settle on her hips automatically, keeping her steady, and she twists around to find one of the martini glasses. Foregoing the strawberries for now, she turns back to him and slowly, maintaining eye contact, she dips a finger into the chocolate mousse before lifting it to her mouth and slowly licking it off.
As she was hoping, this finally makes him snap, and he pulls her closer with a hand around her neck, kissing her with almost bruising force. She opens immediately, meeting him stroke for stroke, hands going to the front of his shirt for leverage.
She feels the hand resting on her hip slide down her leg, under the hem of her dress, and back up. When he finds the lace of her panties, Grissom groans into her mouth and tugs her even closer.
"I take it you had more than just dinner and dessert planned for tonight?" he gets out as he pulls away.
"Maybe…" she admits, taking the opportunity to get the top button of his shirt undone. He doesn't try to stop her, which feels like a good sign, and she makes quick work of the rest before leaning down to taste his skin.
His hand tangles in her hair even as he objects weakly. "Honey, there's no rush… we don't have to…"
"I know," Sara assures him, pulling back to meet his eyes. "I know we don't have to. I want to. I want to share this with you, I want to feel you inside me."
He lets out a ragged breath. "I want that too, God, I don't think I've ever wanted anything more… but I… I don't want to hurt you."
She frowns at him. "Hurt me?"
"Or… unknowingly do something that makes you relive what happened."
It's her turn to let out a breath and she leans her forehead against his.
She's been seeing a therapist weekly for the last six months – twice a week for the first three. She was reluctant at first, memories of prying shrinks forced on her by CPS tainting her conception of the entire profession, but has to admit that it's been a huge help. Not only has she processed the kidnapping and rape, she's actually worked through her childhood enough that she's been able to tell Grissom about it.
She knows it's still a work in progress, something she'll have to keep working on, probably for the rest of her life, but she's OK with that too.
The nightmares were frequent in the beginning but faded eventually and have disappeared almost completely by now. And even when she woke in a cold sweat during those first few weeks, heart beating too fast, she always knew it was Grissom next to her in bed and was able to seek comfort in his arms. His proximity never bothered her, even when she woke screaming from reliving those horrible days.
"OK, let's start with the first one," she says after a moment, trying to get her head to cooperate long enough to put his worries at ease. "You could never hurt me. I know that, and I think you do too."
"Not consciously, not deliberately," he agrees, hands trailing up and down her back. "But I might not realize that I'm doing it until it's too late."
She slides a hand around to the back of his neck, playing with the curls at the base. "Which brings us to the second one. Can we try to analyze that logically?"
"Of course," Grissom readily agrees, because he is a scientist, after all.
"OK, so I would like to be able to say that I know that won't happen, but the truth is that I don't. I obviously haven't… been intimate with anyone since… since it happened, so I don't know how I might react." She takes a breath and lets it back out. "I want to believe that, even subconsciously, I would know that it's you and not… but I just don't know."
"Hence my apprehension."
"Which I respect," Sara assures him. "But… OK, let's look at this from another point of view. Are you just expecting us to never have sex?"
He frowns at that. "Well… no."
"Then do you have a timeframe in mind?" she pushes.
"Not really," he admits.
"Well, I, for one, think that six months is plenty of time. I'm fine, physically. I'm working through the emotional stuff with my therapist, and I haven't had a nightmare in weeks. So how about we just… take things slow and see what happens?"
"Tonight?" Grissom looks almost scared at the prospect.
"I was thinking that, yeah."
He leans back against the couch, closing his eyes. "I'm still nervous."
"I know." She leans in to kiss him softly, and he immediately responds. "And that's how I know that everything will be OK. I trust you."
He looks up at her again, mouth turned up slightly in a smile. "I love you."
It's not the first time he's said it, but it makes her stomach flip every time. "I love you too."
A little hesitantly, his hands slide down her back, along her thighs and then back up, taking the hem of her dress with them. When he reaches her panties again, he shifts forward a little on the couch and presses her closer, showing her that he's definitely not unaffected by the last fifteen minutes or so.
"Do you think maybe…" Sara starts, letting out a gasp when he leans in to place a kiss just above the valley between her breasts. "Maybe it'll be easier if I'm… in charge?"
"Mmm," he hums against her skin before trailing his tongue along her collar bone to her throat. "Maybe. Let's see, shall we?"
She's already undone all the buttons in his shirt, and now she pushes the garment off his shoulders. He leans forward to shrug it off completely, before reaching around her for the zipper in her dress. When it's undone, she lets the straps fall down her arms and the garment pools at her waist, revealing her bra.
"Gorgeous," he repeats, sliding his hands up her sides to her breasts, thumbs brushing over the silky material, making her arch against him.
When he pushes a cup to the side and leans in to take a nipple into his mouth, she throws her head back and tangles her fingers in his hair, holding him to her. "Fuck, Gil, feels so good…"
Grissom hums against her skin, sending shivers through her, all the way to her core, and her eyes slide closed at the feeling. She vaguely registers her bra being unhooked, then his hand is working the breast neglected by his mouth, and if she was prone to coming from breast play alone, she would definitely be falling over the edge right about now.
Instead, it just stokes the fire inside her, and blindly she tugs at his undershirt, pulling it up. He moves back to let her get it off, then immediately dives back in, kissing and licking and nipping at her breasts, collarbone, throat… when he finds her mouth again, she reaches between them to start working on his pants, getting the button and fly undone without any trouble.
That's as far as she can get without both of them moving, though, so Sara abandons the task for the moment, focusing on his mouth on hers, his hands exploring her body, his hardness pressed right up against her.
When he moves from her mouth to trail kisses down her throat, she presses closer. "Please, need… more…"
He freezes for a moment, but then kisses her before nudging her off him. Her dress slides the rest of the way down her body when she stands, and she kicks it away impatiently. He leans forward to kiss her bellybutton before standing himself, pushing his pants down his legs.
"Bed?" he asks huskily, and she nods, tugging him along by the hand towards her bedroom.
She lets go of him to find the box of condoms – which has been in the bedside table for five and a half months by now – and when she turns back to him, Grissom is standing by the bed. He's pulled the bedspread off, but is looking hesitant again.
"No, don't," she says, quickly pulling him into a kiss. "I want this, I want you, please…"
"I do too, honey, just… promise you'll tell me if you're even a little uncomfortable, OK? There is no point where we can't stop, got it?"
"I promise," she assures him, sliding a finger inside the waistband of his boxers. "How about you lose these?"
"Do it for me?"
She kisses him as she pushes the shorts down as far as she can reach, hearing them land softly on the floor, and then slides one hand down to wrap lightly around him. He groans into her mouth, hips jerking a little into her grip. She lingers a little longer, then slides her hand up, pushing gently against his chest.
He takes the hint and sits down on the edge of the bed, one hand wrapping around himself, the other sliding around to the back of her waist to pull her closer. When her legs are against the side of the mattress, as close as she can get without straddling him again, his hand slides around, between her legs, brushing against her heat and making her moan. He quickly hooks two fingers in her panties and tugs them down her legs, leaning in to kiss her left thigh, then her right, and then her stomach, just above where she wants him most.
When he pushes one finger inside her, Sara's knees almost buckle, and he quickly gets her situated kneeling over him. Another finger joins the first, and she bucks against him, fingers digging into his shoulders for support as she seeks out his mouth again.
Their tongues battle for dominance as his deft fingers push her higher and higher, and when he starts rubbing her clit with his thumb, she's gone in an instant, crying out as she tumbles over the edge into oblivion.
His fingers are still stroking inside her when she comes down, and she reaches for the condoms. "Need you, now."
Grissom chuckles at the order, but accepts the foil package she holds out, opening it and rolling the condom on with one swift motion.
"OK?" he asks, voice shaking slightly, and she nods fervently, keeping her eyes fixed on his as she rises up, lets him line himself up, and sinks down.
"Oh, God," she moans at the delicious feel of him sliding into her. "So… fuck, so good."
"Fucking… amazing," he groans out, fingers digging into her hips.
"Mmm-hmm," Sara agrees as she lifts up and sinks back down, meeting his upward thrust and making them gasp in unison.
They set a slow pace at first, but when he tangles a hand in her hair to tug her head back and leans in to suck a mark into her breast, she feels the first tell-tale signs of another orgasm and speeds up. He meets her thrust for thrust, keeping up the wonderful assault on her breast and throat, and when he finds her clit again, it's not long before she's gasping and falling apart around him.
Grissom brushes soft kisses all over her face and throat as she rides out the high, both his hands gripping her hips, holding her still with him deep inside her. When she slumps against him, he wraps his arms around her back, breathing with her for a moment.
He's still hard inside her, though, but instead of picking up their earlier dance, she moves off him, catching the surprised look on his face. She doesn't go far, just slides onto the bed next to him, settling on her back and reaching for him.
She can hear the sharp breath he sucks in and almost expects him to object, but he must know, like she does, that they need to get past this last hurdle. Slowly, he moves towards her, until he's kneeling between her legs, one hand on either side of her holding him up.
Sara's on high alert for any signs of panic, but there's nothing. This is her boyfriend, the man who loves her, the man she's been in love with for most of her adult life. The man she would trust with her life.
Sliding a hand around his neck, she tugs him down, and he meets her lips. He's still keeping their lower bodies separate, though, so she slides a foot up his calf, then his thigh, to wrap her leg around his waist, and slowly, he sinks down on top of her. She slides a hand between them to wrap around him, getting him lined up, and tilts her hips up to meet him when he oh-so-deliciously slowly pushes inside her again.
"OK?" he asks when he's buried to the hilt, ghosting a kiss against her cheek.
"Perfect," she tells him, rolling her hips and making him groan, and then they're off.
Grissom keeps his movements slow, each thrust making her gasp and moan and dig her nails into his back. When his hips start snapping against her a little faster, a little more haphazardly, she wraps both legs around his waist, pulling him even deeper.
"Let go, I've got you," she murmurs into his ear before pulling a lobe into her mouth, and after a few more thrusts, he stills, pulsing deep inside her.
She maintains her hold on him, pulling him down on top of her despite his protests that he's too heavy, and they lie there for a long moment, catching their breaths together.
When he finally moves back, pulling out of her and going into the bathroom to get rid of the condom, Sara slides under the comforter, too physically exhausted to even try to find her underwear, and closes her eyes.
She hears the toilet flush, and then he's back, pulling her close, and she settles in with her head against his chest, letting out a long, satisfied breath.
"Worth waiting for?" he asks quietly, brushing a kiss against the top of her head.
"Definitely worth waiting for," she agrees. "Not sure if it was worth waiting six months for…"
Grissom chuckles, pinching her side. "Be nice."
Pushing herself up on one elbow, she goes serious. "It was worth waiting for," she says. "It would have been worth waiting a whole lot longer too. And I do understand where you were coming from, but I'm glad…"
"I gave in," he interrupts with a half-smirk, and it's her turn to pinch him. "No, I'm glad too. I've been… trying to work up the courage to bring it up, but I couldn't figure out what to say, so I'm glad you took the initiative."
"Good." She settles back down, throwing a leg over his. "But I'm not waiting another six months for the next round."
He laughs. "No, definitely not."
"Glad we're on the same page."
His arm around her tightens. "Always."
AN: OK, so I do not have a new story ready to go – I've been working on the Buddyflies sequel. I just finished chapter 29, and I wish I knew how much longer it will be, but I don't. I have about five chapters in a file called "Random", which is basically random scenes that have popped into my head and that I want to put in the story at some point, and those'll need to be fleshed out, so my best guess is that we're going to end up somewhere along the same number of chapters as the original story. As soon as I've written the last chapter (or the epilogue, I already know there is going to be an epilogue) I promise I will start posting
In the meantime, I am on yet another re-watch, so there might be new installments of my Interludes series – I have one almost finished – so keep an eye out for that if you're interested
And with that, I will say – until next time!