That Tuesday afternoon, Gabby stood on the grass and looked up at the sky, which was almost completely blue except for one tiny, wispy cloud. She was back in the expansive backyard where the other ghostbusters had trained her. Mrs. Fielding was quite generous to do this the first time and she was even more generous to allow the ghostbusters to train an entire army of college students this time around. She must have been really grateful after that one time that the ghostbusters put a stop to her screaming, possessed furniture.
And what a turnout it was. There must have been at least sixty college students who showed up. They nearly had to rent two buses instead of one. All of them were lined up in rows facing the ghostbusters and chatting amongst each other like they would before the start of a class. The ghostbusters lined up facing them, ready to be their teachers.
"Wow, Peter," said Ray, "I never imagined that the turnout would be so good!"
"What can I say?" asked Peter, "Kids these days are more interested than ever in the art of busting ghosts. Also, I put on the notices that we would pay them in booze."
"You WHAT?!" exclaimed Egon.
"I needed to put SOMETHING to grab their attention! Did you want a bunch of people helping us or not?"
Gabby looked at the group of young people and thought about how many more proton packs she would have to magically duplicate. But at least today, they would use the fake training ones.
"Well, I guess I will have to tell them the truth," said Egon. He cleared his throat. "Attention, everyone!"
Egon's voice wasn't loud enough to warrant their attention. They continued to talk amongst themselves.
Slimer finally got their attention by blowing the whistle that was hanging around his (non-existent) neck.
"All right, students," began Egon, "I would like to welcome you to the first day of ghostbuster training. The reason you are all here is because in three days, there will be a demonic attack on the city and we need as much manpower as possible to fight off this scourge."
"Uh… excuse me?" piped up one woman, "You mean manpower AND womanpower."
"Yes. We will need as much personpower as possible. Those of you who remember when we defeated Gozer five years ago will recall that we wore proton packs to blast away the Staypuft Marshmallow Man. What we have given you simulates these proton packs but you will not be given the real devices until the night of the attack. In this lesson, Ray and Gabby will teach you about how the packs work and how to use them in a safe and effective manner."
Gabby practiced for this. Ray would explain one part while Gabby would explain another part. This was no different than performing in a play or giving a book report. However, this time around, she had been exposed to this subject matter enough that she a) was starting to get a little sick of it but also b) she could teach the subject matter and feel no more nervous than when she was having a conversation with a good friend. Her heart was palpitating but that was more out of excitement for the thrill of passing down knowledge. Was this how Egon felt? Did he get a thrill out of this? Then again, this was Egon, so… maybe?
"Before we begin the lesson, it is necessary to tell you that, despite what the notices said, we will NOT be compensating you with alcoholic beverages," said Egon.
Right then, roughly half the students took off their fake proton packs and walked into the opposite direction while groaning and grumbling in disappointment. Somebody HAD to say something to get them back.
"However, we WILL be compensating you with money," added Egon.
"And good luck getting back to campus since the bus doesn't leave for another five hours," said Peter.
The students who had started to leave then made their way back towards The Ghostbusters. One of them said something about using the money to get his older brother to potentially buy him booze.
"All right, folks," said Ray, "They made that same mistake during that Altamont Speedway concert and we all remember how THAT turned out."
"Actually, I think they're too young to remember that," said Egon.
"Way to make me feel old, Egon."
As soon as everyone returned to their original spots, Egon cleared his throat again.
"As I was saying," continued Egon, "Ray and Gabby will be explaining your proton packs to you."
For the next fifteen minutes, Ray and Gabby took turns explaining different facets of their proton packs. Some of the students took down notes as they did this. Gabby remembered the primary rules of public speaking: look the audience in the eye, speak loud enough for them to hear, and be careful not to use filler words like "um" and "like." That last rule was one that she slipped up on at least a few times during her lecture but nobody is perfect.
Gabby was relieved when that part of the lesson was over. Her tongue tended to get tired after a prolonged period of speaking.
"Now, do we have any questions?" asked Winston.
A whole bunch of hands shot up into the air.
"Now, before you ask, NO, we have NOT busted Casper. He is supposed to be a FRIENDLY ghost and therefore he is not worth our time."
With that, most of those hands went back down.
"Any other questions?" asked Peter.
A young man named Phil raised his hand.
"Yes?"
"Yeah, I was told there would be a gorilla," said Phil.
"Wrong Ghostbusters. Next question."
That hasn't been the only time someone asked about a gorilla in relation to The Ghostbusters, thought Gabby.
"Yes," said Peter as he pointed to a young woman, "You."
A young woman named Dinah spoke up.
"Are these devices that we're about to use licensed and approved by any governing body?" she asked.
There was an awkward silence among The Ghostbusters. Gabby looked at all four of the guys, who in turn looked back at her.
"Err… next question," said Peter.
A young man named Scott raised his hand.
"Yes, you," said Peter.
"Can we use the hot tub when we're done training?" he asked.
"Would you like to take this one, Egon?"
Egon sighed.
"No, you may not," he said.
"Why not?" asked Scott, "It's been proven that a hot soak is good for sore muscles."
"Because first of all, Mrs. Fielding only allowed us to utilize the backyard of the premises. Secondly, a single hot tub would not be able to safely or comfortably accommodate all of the people here. And thirdly, there is no guarantee that Mrs. Fielding even HAS a hot tub."
"Did you ask her?"
"No, we haven't."
"Well, rich people tend to have hot tubs."
The other students nodded in agreement amongst each other.
Egon sighed.
"All right, I will ask her if she has a hot tub and if you are allowed to use it. Are there any other questions?"
A young man named Brian raised his hand.
"Yes, Brian?"
"So, you say that these proton packs are capable of impeccable accuracy…" he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a quarter. "How long would we have to train before we are able to fire them and hit something the size of this quarter from fifty feet away?"
"You mean MY QUARTER?!" said Ben, who was standing right next to him.
"This again?"
"Yes, this again! You still owe me that quarter from that one time!"
"And I keep telling you, I don't remember which time you were talking about!"
"That's because you were off your meds!"
"I don't take meds!"
"Yeah, you do! I'm his brother so I know! This liar also goes to therapy!"
"Oh, that's it! I'll teach you to leak my personal details!" Brian then proceeded to wail on Ben, causing the other students to back up, either to give them room to fight or to prevent anyone else from getting hurt. Nobody knew what caused these boys to think that this was appropriate behavior. Maybe it was the fact that they were outside on a lawn and not in a typical classroom.
Winston knew just what to do. He marched up to the spat and pried the violent young men away from each other.
"You two settle down and sit this one out until you can ACT LIKE THE LEGAL ADULTS THAT YOU ARE!" he shouted. His history in the military really shined here.
As the young men left the group, Egon sighed and rubbed his temple.
"This," he said, "This is why I gave up being an adjunct professor."
"Well, at least you're not alone in this," said Gabby. She really didn't know what else to say in this situation.
"The worst part is that I can relate to this because I, too, am a twin."
Gabby tried to imagine child Egon bickering with his twin and it was rather humorous. What would they have fought about? Whether someone could come back from being sucked into a black hole? Whether or not mushrooms had feelings? Yeah, it was probably that second one.
After that, the students asked questions that were a bit more… reasonable. And after that was the physical part of the lesson, the part where the students would do physical exercise and try out their fake proton packs on cardboard targets. Now, it was Gabby's turn to be the teacher. It was her turn to teach others about how to aim their proton guns, how to fire and, most important of all, how to fire in a way where you aren't accidentally blown back. The new proton packs were just as likely to do that as the old ones were, much to Gabby's disappointment. But protons will be protons, no matter how high-tech technology became. It felt nice to be in the position of an authority figure rather than a person who was following orders.
The first time she trained, she was telling herself "vamanos." This time, she was shouting it while clapping in order to encourage the others.
"C'mon, guys!" she shouted as the students stepped through the tires in the obstacle course, "The demons aren't going to go easy on you if you're slow!"
And yet, through all the exertion from their part and tough love from the Ghostbusters, the students couldn't help but have fun. At the end of the lesson, they let their inner children out into the sunlight and chased each other with the fake proton packs across the lawn. Gabby looked out at the play and laughter, thinking that these young people didn't know quite what they were in for. Soldiers in training didn't know what they were in for until they were in the middle of the action and saw things that no person should ever see. This time, though, the streets of New York would be the battlefield. Alps were capable of rendering people helpless as they lay in bed. What were they capable of doing to people in their waking lives? Were all these extra people enough?
"Relax," she thought. She wasn't any older than these starry-eyed students. What she had to do right now was run around and join them. After all, Slimer had just started to make it even more fun by hurling pieces of his slimy body at the students. She spent that afternoon being an adult, now it was time to be a kid again.
She grabbed a fake proton pack and joined the group.
"¡Vamanos!" she laughed.