Warning. Mature Content..
Sword: Alright. First house of the night
Saten: (tosses gifts carelessly)
Sword: Whoa whoa man! You can't just toss those all about.
Saten: Why not?
Sword: You kidding? Those aren't socks and underwear donated by the fire department to some battered women's shelter. Those are Santa gifts, show some care asshole.
Saten: Whatever, I delievered them. *grabs cookie and eats it*
Sword: Did you just eat that whole cookie off the mantel?!
Saten: What? They left it out for Santa. We're Santa.
Sword: Yeah, but you're not supposed to eat all of it. You take a bite and a sip of milk..
Saten: Oh you know what. *pours milk on ground* There. Now they'll know Santa was here
Sword: More like Grinch was here.
Saten: Look I'm here giving out presents, I'll eat the damn cookie if I want. In fact, I might make myself a sandwich.
Sword: Don't you fucking dare!
Saten: *goes into the kitchen*
Man: Who's there!? (turns on light)
Saten: Uhh.. I'm Santa.
Man: Yeah, sure, your Santa. That why you broke in through the window? I'm calling the cops.
Saten: Wait, we are. We just couldn't fit though the chimey, and forgot the presents.. It's actually a funny stor-
Sword: AHH! (assualts him with bat, spraying blood everywherw)
Saten: WHAT THE HELL!?
Sword: HE WAS GONNA CALL THE COPS! NOBODY CALLS THE FUCKING COPS ON SANTA!
Sword: Now help me drag him to the closet!
Girl: Santa!?
Sword: ... Fuck
Wife: Who are you!?.. (sees body) DAN!?
Saten: Look, we can explain.
Wife flees.
Sword panicks and fires the handgun from earlier.
Girl: MOMMY!
Saten: DUDE!
Sword: I panicked okay! Now find some tape!
The little girl is taped up.
Sword: Alright, now to clean the bat and give to (reads) Johnny... Go check for her brother
Saten: (Goes upstairs) There's only one bedroom!
Sword: Then who's... oh dear god we're in the wrong house!
(sirens blaring)
Sword: Damn it, we tripped the alarm. The cops are coming. Let's go!
Saten: What?! We're just leaving like this? What about not wanting to ruin Christmas?!
Sword: It's already ruined! This was one house. We've been here for an hour and a half! An hour and... First of all, we're not even Santa anymore. This has been a home invasion. But an hour and a half Saten!
Saten: No wonder Santa lost his mind, we can't do this in one night!
Sword: NOBODY CAN'T IT'S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!
Sadly this isn't even the worst thing Master Sword has done.. It's in the top 5 though..