No offense to any guy that has a Prius, but Simon has one and gets slack for it in this chapter.
Jace
After Clary runs away, obviously upset, I begin to go after her, but Will stops me. He and Tessa exchange a look and she goes, leaving me with my cousin.
"I have to go after her," I tell him, unsure as to why he's holding me back.
"No, you need to help me get revenge," Will replies, grabbing me by my collar and dragging me outside.
"Find his car," he tells me. I don't know how he expects me to do that, but I begin looking nonetheless. I didn't realize it would be this easy, but when I see the 'Nerds Rule' bumper sticker, light saber in the back window, and Star Trek license plate, I know it's his. No grown man would seriously have all three and think it was okay. And for god sakes, it's a Prius. No real man has a Prius, and Simon is obviously a sad man-child.
"Found it," I call to Will. He comes over and laughs out loud. He even loses a tear or two over the car we are standing in front of.
"A Prius! Why would Clary marry a guy that willing drives a Prius?" he laughs again as he thinks it over.
"I have no idea," I join in the laughter. Suddenly, Will goes deadly serious. He pulls a Swiss army knife from his pocket and stabs at the tires.
"Yes, that's subtle," I comment dryly.
"I'm a Herondale. We don't to subtlety," he replies and I nod in agreement. Will all of reenacted the Ferris wheel scene in 'The Notebook' to get Tessa to date him. When I look back at my psychotic cousin, he has out a folded piece of paper and a pen. He is writing what appears to be a letter and he has a creepy sadistic smile on his face.
I lean over his shoulder in an attempt to read it, but he pushes me back.
"I'd appreciate you not breathing on me… you probably have cooties," he tells me seriously as he signs the paper and hands it to me, looking satisfied with himself.
It reads: Dear Sherwin, This is a pitiful excuse for a man's car, for starters. Secondly, you have seriously burned a little red head and deserve all that has rained down and will continue to rain down upon your moppy-headed self. I wish upon you many lost Legos pieces that you find with your bare feet, sneezes that never fully come, that your sauce never sticks to your pasta, and weak kegles. Sincerely, the revenge fairy.
"What the hell are kegles?" I ask.
"You know when you really have to pee and you clench your downtown?" Will asks and I nod.
"Well, if you have weak kegles, you can't hold anything, so if he has weak ones, he'll be constantly peeing his pants," Will explains and I nod.
"I like it. The note was a nice finish," I tell him, handing it back.
"Thank you dear cousin," he responds, placing it in the windshield wipers.
"So, what now?" I ask.
"We get the girls and get the hell out of here before Sherwin and Ira get to the car," he begins, walking back to the club entrance.
"Ira?" I question to myself.
"Everyone I hate gets new names, it annoys the crap out of them," Will answers my unanswered question.
"Is that why you called me Jamie my entire freshman year?" I question.
"Yes, I hated you for screwing things up with Clary, but you're not a Jamie now," he tries to assure me, but I just laugh it off. My cousin is crazy, but I wouldn't want him any other way.
When we see the girls, we grab them and run to our car. Clary sees the mess we did to Simon's car and laughs, but then looks horrified. She seems worried as Will recited what he wrote on the letter.
I drop Wessa off at Will's apartment and then drive Clary and I back to my place.
"Are you okay?" I ask her as we get inside.
"Yeah, just worried. Simon may get really mad," she tells me, "and I don't want you or Will to get in trouble," she finishes.
"Don't worry. Will has the best luck with revenge, and I can handle myself. I'd do anything for you Clary," I tell her. She smiles up at me and then gives a hearty yawn. I bop her nose and tell her to go to sleep.
"Carry me" she exclaims dramatically, throwing her hands up in the air, awaiting me to pick her up. I do with a chuckle and carry her to my room.
"Your room is a train wreck of clothes, so you can just stay in my room tonight," I tell her. She nods and lays motionless on my bed. I toss her one of my t-shirts and she looks at me.
"Close your eyes," she sings and I comply. She changes and tells me I can look. When I do, she's already curled up under the bed sheets. I change and crawl in next to her. When she looks at me, she sees what I'm wearing and laughs.
"Are you seriously wearing the dinosaur pajamas I got you when we were freshmans?" she asks.
"Yes, they are my favorite. Remember you bought them two sizes too bug because you thought it'd be funny? Well, they finally fit," she laughs as I tell her this.
"Well, I'm glad you like them," she tells me, closing her eyes in contentment.
"Remember all the sleepovers we used to have?" I ask, remembering them always going as this one had. I would carry Clary from the living room where we had been watching movies. I tried to watch as she change, but never got to, then we'd lay there talking, neither of us tired once we were in bed.
"I remember," She replies, "I missed them. All those years living with Simon, it was never as comfortable as it was with you. He never liked to talk in bed and he never once carried me anywhere," she tells me, which I find so sad. Clary and I have some of our best conversations before bed.
For years I had comforted myself by saying she left me because she was happy. And if she was happy, I could be too. Now I hear she was practically in a loveless marriage.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, making me look at her confused.
"I abandoned you. I was so caught up with Simon, god knows why, and I left you. I was stupid, ruining years of friendship and love for you, but I'm just happy you still care for me like I care for you. I don't know what I'd do if you hated me," she admits.
"I'll admit, I was mad, but I never blamed you. I had always blamed Simon," I laugh, she joins in for a moment, "I could never hate you, and I never stopped caring," I tell her honestly.
"Good to know," she replies, then she gets a mischievous glint in her eye, "So you know how many birthday tickles I missed?" she asks.
My eyes widen. She would always sleep over my house the night before my birthday and would wake me up by tickling me anywhere she could reach. My first birthday I woke up alone, I shed a few tears, and I'm man enough to admit it.
"No Clary, that really isn't necessary," I try to play it off.
"I missed at least ten," she tells me, creeping up so she's leaning over me, "and that just can't do," before I can move, her fingers descend and I feel her assaulting my skin. I laugh in elation at the feel and try to squirm out from under her.
"C-CLARY! S-S-st-stop!" I gasp out, but she continues, relentless, laughing along like a maniac. When she finally stops, tears have leaked from my eyes and we're both breathing heavily.
"You stink," I gasp.
"No, I'm awesome and now we're even," she tells me. Then she gets that glint again, "At least for another month and a half, then you're getting it again," she informs me.
"I'm shaking in my boots," I reply dryly.
"I'm not surprised," she tells me. I don't know why, but her tone of voice reminds me of my mother, and the act that she is supposed to be coming tomorrow.
"Clary," I suddenly exclaim. She looks over startled.
"What?" she asks.
"My mom is supposed to come over tomorrow," I tell her, unsure how she'll feel. My mom always loved her and was as pissed at me as Will when I told her Clary and I didn't talk any more.
"YEY!" she yells, "I missed your mom so much!" she exclaims.
"She missed you too," I tell her.
"Well, I saw her a few years ago at my wedding," she tells me. I look over shocked.
"You what?" I ask. I never heard a wood of this.
"Yeah, I sent one to your parents, Will and you," she tells me like I should know this.
"Will and I never got ours," I say confused.
"Well, I sent Simon-"she looks enraged, "that little twat must not have sent them to you two!" she exclaims. That would make sense. Simon and I never meshed and Will being my very known about cousin probably made him bad in Simon's book as well.
"Well, it's behind us now. I mean, who's the one having a sleepover with you now?" I ask.
"True, very true," Clary yawns again, "I'm going to bed. Goodnight Jacey," she tells me.
"Night Clary," I turn out the light and settle into bed beside my best friend, thinking how lucky I am to be the one next to her, even after all this time.