LUIGI KILLS GOD
BY BLARGHY
CHAPTER 1: AS USUAL
It is a cold February morning all around the Mushroom Kingdom, a dark and depressing blue sky illuminates the streets while the toads begin their daily routine, praying that today will be a day without Bowser attacking again. Not so far away from the main town, a little wooden shack stands in the middle of the woods with its little mailbox that is always open, waiting for an exciting new; inside the shack live two brothers, both dedicated to the same work as plumbers and saviors of the kingdom; one of the brothers is still on his bed, it was Luigi who has been recently awakened by the beeping sound of his alarm, he woke up with a monotonous face while slowly making his way out of the bed, when he managed to stand up he immediately went to the bathroom to take a piss and brush his teeth, all while making the same face he woke up with; everything on Luigi's expressions felt so wrong like a rooster that doesn't make his morning crow, what was once a joyful and charming man now has become a shadow of his former self.
To fully comprehend why Luigi looks like he is in eternal agony, we must go back a couple years ago: After clearing the haunted mansion and defeating King Boo, Luigi was living a good life surrounded by wealth and luxury and helping Mario with their plumbing works, he always shared his richness with the toads cause he felt his money wasn't enough to make him happy and the true joy of living was being around the people you appreciate, he even adopted a baby Yoshi he found in an awful looking pet shop one day, his Yoshi was his sun and every day he spent with it felt like a little blessing to his life, he even called him "Mama Luigi" in a soft and cute way; but some months later Luigi knew that everything that goes up eventually must go down: One day Luigi came back to his mansion after helping Mario with kicking Bowser's ass again just to find out everything he has worked hard on was teared to pieces: the rooms were destroyed, the money got stolen and even the paintings where the ghosts he captured disappeared, but the most devastating thing he discovered was the little Yoshi's body lying on the floor with a big red puddle coming from his neck; that day Luigi felt how his heart was getting broken, he had nothing to share and no one to care for besides his brother, everything wad over for him. He sold his mansion and the furniture he could recover to get some bucks he could spend on "special mushrooms" that were selling at the kingdom's black market, he turned himself into an angry and hateful man and into the kingdom's walking joke that everyone wanted out of the town and since then he has been living in Mario's shack, barely stepping a foott outside.
Luigi walked out of his room and directed to the kitchen where he was greeted by his brother:
-"Good morning Luigi" said Mario while drinking his coffee "How do you feel today, paisano?".
-"As usual, Mario" responded Luigi with a depressed tone while serving himself a bowl of cereal.
-"Aw come on Luigi, it can't be that bad" said Mario trying to cheer his young brother "Your life went down a spiral because some villains fucked you up, and so what? We are heroes Luigi, our enemies will always find ways to screw our things"
-"No Mario, you are the hero" said Luigi in a tone that sounded like borderline crying "I'm just a simple man that can't keep his shit together because I spend day and night living in Fantasyworld"
-"Don't say those things Luigi, you are great, you are one of the most incredible guys I've ever met on this planet. Now hold on, I gotta check the mail"
As Mario made his way to the mailbox, Luigi checked an old note he found at the tragic day, it says:
"You are not the chosen"