Scene 1: JBI's Interview
JBI: Welcome back to yet another year of terror in William McKinley High. After tragically placing 12th place at Nationals last year due to their lead singers face-sucking, the Gay Club has one last chance to win at life, let's see where they are and what they have to say about this utter fiasco.
Finn: Well to me.. I have no shame in showing my affection for Rachel. We have been dating for *counts on fingers* Like three months now? And yeah that's like a record.
Rachel: Clearly things will be different this year. We have matured and I have all the confidence in the world since these people who viewed our video, have had the privilege to see Rachel Berry win before she debuts on Broadway and becomes a star.
Kurt: I can say I am appealed by my stepbrother's choice. But there's nothing I can do about teenage love.. and before you ask.. Blaine and I avoid talking about our certain difficulties from last year.
Santana: This year is about to kick ass… We're Co-Captains… I'm getting laid with every guy in school.
Brittany: And girl.
Santana: Anyways.. Nationals are not ready for La Diabla this year. Cause she's on fire.
Mercedes: Now excuse me for a second, JewFro. I would never let that happen if she was singing lead. This year if the Mercedes Jones gets her solos.. The New Directions are guaranteed to win.
Artie: All I can say is that my position as a handicapped student has changed drastically and I was unwillingly kicked from the football team because of our loss so... There's that.
Tina: It's been a great time honestly... Mike and I try to cope in the healthiest way possible. Like most couples do! And since this is his senior year I'm excited to make ther most out of it.
Schue: Look Jacob it was a tragedy that we placed so low. But they have all the gas this year... That I can assure you. And no I will not be performing any rap songs... I am aware of the tweets.
JBI: This was a lot to take in... And now we can finally close this segment and move to the Celibacy Club!
Scene 2: Welcome Glee
Schue: GLEE!
Students: Woohoo
Schue: It's so great to see you guys again back this year, but still sad to see some faces go...
Puck: Yeah like where's Quinn
Artie: Or Sam.
Santana: Maybe they couldn't handle the pressure of their incestuous relationship.
Finn: Now now.
Santana: I'm just painfully honest Wally Walrus.
Schue: Plus it's the final year for some of you here at McKinley. Anyway. We all know what happened last year was a mistake and we won't let it happen again.
Kurt: Finn and Rachel acknowledge what happened to them was wrong.
Rachel: No one can deny the power of love. But yes the undeniable tension and chemistry couldn't hold us back... It just happened.
Schue: We understand that, Rachel.
Brittany: I don't.
Schue: There has to be something we can do.. with Sue still on our tail and the insults getting worse. I don't see any other way to keep us safe.
Mercedes: Were we ever safe?
Rachel: Obviously. Maybe some of you are just not used to seeing it.
Tina: I mean it's just so hard it feels like we lost because our beat is gone...
Schue: Maybe not necessarily….Come on guys we are the butt of the joke again! We need to show these new students how cool Glee Club can be!
Rachel: I know exactly what to do.
The New Directions moved to the Cafeteria and performed We Got The Beat.
Rachel, Santana, and Brittany: We Got The Beat!
Becky: SUCK MY ASS!
JBI: BOO!
They return to the Choir Room.
Lauren: That was a quick turn of events.
Puck: I've seen worse I've been in worse.
Brittany: You kinda turn me on sometimes.
Artie: Now we definitely won't be getting any interested volunteers.
Sugar: I wouldn't be so sure if I were you Hotwheels.
Rachel: I'm sorry, who are you?
Sugar: I'm Sugar Motta. I paid some extra attention to your song.
Finn: Wait, did you enjoy it?
Sugar: Not really. That's why I think you all deserve a piece of Sugar.
Schue: Oh okay.. uhm.. Sugar whenever you're ready.
Sugar: Hit it.
Sugar performed a rendition of Sugar, Sugar.
Sugar: Thanks for your cooperation! Bye!
Mercedes: We cannot let her in.
Kurt: No way.
Schue: I- uhm.
SCENE 3: FILLER CHAPTER
Mr. Schue walks into the Teachers Lounge.
Sue: Hey Butt Chin, you back to deafening the 10% from my ears that I still have left?!
Schue: What a warm welcome Sue, but the Glee Club is far from ending, trust me.
Sue: You know sometimes, humans try to cope and think the opposite of what is happening.
Emma: Please Sue spare us from your snarky comments it's only the first week of school.
Sue: To me, it's the threequel of my never-ending nightmare.
Schue: Maybe this year you could try to keep your business away from us. Out of respect for your sister.
Sue: Do not bring Jean into this William, or I will claw you alive.
Emma: Geez.. She's feistier than I remebered.
Schue: Yeah don't get it either.. Maybe she's still grieving.
Beiste: Plus we know Sue... She's different.
Schue: Good point Shannon.
Beiste: This year I'm gonna have the guys try something different... Like, involve them in your musical production.
Schue: That would be amazing, we need an ensemble.
Emma: Oh and I will gladly help with the costume design like last year.
Schue: Luckily this year won't be Rocky Horror… But something more appropriate for their age.
Emma and Beiste: Like what?
Schue: You'll see.
At the Lima Bean:
Blaine: Oh my gosh! I'm so glad that Karofsky transferred. It's not that I think he's bad it's probably more appropriate for him to come out and discover himself.
Kurt: Yeah me too.. Gay guys deserve a safe environment to understand themselves.
Blaine: Like you did.
Kurt: I mean probably.
Blaine: You know ... they installed this unusual jukebox here.
Kurt: Really!?
Blaine: Yes!
Kurt: Should we...
Blaine: Obviously.
Kurt and Blaine: it's NOT UNUSUAL!
SCENE 4: BONDS
Mckinley at the lockers:
Brittany: Hi.
Santana: Hey.
Brittany: You're being weird.
Santana: What do you mean? I'm perfectly fine.
Brittany: Really? Because you haven't made out with me ever since school started.
Santana: Oh, that's because I've been getting down with Azimio.
Brittany: Ew.
Santana: That's not ew... You hooked up with him before!
Brittany: I know, only because he promised ice cream afterward.
Santana: Britt Britt, just do me a favor and never mention this in public again.
Brittany: But-
Santana: Don't.
Bell rings.
Rachel: Hi.
Kurt: Why do you want me here?
Rachel: Because of our shared interest that we previously addressed at the Gershwin Theatre in NYC.
Kurt: Broadway?!
Rachel: Jackpot! Since we are both seniors I'm guessing that we can both agree that we should stick together for our dreams to come true!
Kurt: I don't get it.
Rachel: Once there was a wicked witch in the lovely land of OZ
And a wickeder, wickeder, wickeder witch that never, ever was
Rachel and Kurt: A house fell on her head
And the coroner pronounced her:
Dead!
Ding Dong, the witch is dead (Which old witch?)
Well, uh, the wicked witch (Oh)
Ding Dong, the wicked witch is dead (Oh yeah, happy day)
Wake up you sleepy head (Rub your eyes)
And get out of that bed
Wake up, the wicked witch is dead
Kurt: Okay I have to confess that felt really good.. But still Rachel I'm gonna need you to clarify it to me..
Rachel: I'm trying to say that.. we should be best friends…. Will you do the honors of being my best gay?
Kurt: Uhmm… No.. Sorry Rachel.
Rachel: …
Boys Locker Room.
Finn: Dudes I don't get it, why does Mr. Schue always make us do embarrassing stuff?
Puck: Maybe because he's like sixty.
Mike: I tried to give my opinion but he simply just reminded us about that Journey medley he came up with.
Puck: That was totally lame man.
Finn: Do you guys think I should speak up to him at some point?
Puck: You do you man.
Mike: What he said.
SCENE 5: CLOSING
Finn: Rachel do you have a second
Rachel: For you? Always.
Finn: Heh thanks
Rachel: What's up? Oh no. Do you think I sounded off-pitch in We Got The Beat and that's the reason why everyone disliked it?!
Finn: What no! This isn't about you. Not everything is about you.
Rachel: Oh… right.
Finn: Do you think I'd be a good actor..?
Rachel: Of course! You were great as Brad last year.
Finn: Really? Because I'm still sorta insecure about that...
Rachel: Don't you worry Finn Hudson.. You are amazing at everything you do.
Finn: Awesome...
Rachel: Hey.. I'm your girlfriend Finn. I will always be there to support you. No matter what happens.
Finn: Thanks Rach, I gotta run, I have something to do before Glee.
They end up kissing.
Finn knocks on Mr. Schue's door.
Schue: Hey Finn, come on in.
Finn: Mr. Schue? Can we talk about something
Schue: Well, of course, I don't bite.
Finn: It's just that we noticed that everything you tell us to do leads us to further embarrassment and that affects the amount of effort everyone puts into singing and confidence goes all the way down whenever someone picks on us... Whether it's bullying or heckling.
Schue: I think you're right. Maybe it's time I let you guys make your own decisions for a change… I'm glad you brought this up, Finn. It was very bold of you to stand up in the name of the group. That's a great leadership quality.
Finn: Of course Mr. S.
Schue gives him a confident look as he leaves. Now in the Choir Room.
Schue: It has been brought to my attention that I haven't been a good listener lately.
Santana: You mean since day one, right?
Rachel: Bad timing, Santana
Brittany: Yeah shut up Santana I'm mad at you
Schue: So I decided to listen to your suggestions and… this year's musical will be West Side Story as we discussed.
Rachel: Thank God.
Schue: But to kick things off I will also let you pick the group number.
Rachel: I've got that covered.
Brad starts playing the piano dramatically.
Rachel: You can't stop an avalanche
As it races down the hill
You can try to stop the seasons, girl
…,
I was lost 'til I heard the drums
Then I found my way
'Cause you can't stop the beat
Rachel, Finn, Tina, Mercedes and Artie: You can't stop the beat