Chapter 3

After they finished, Vaggie was just about ready for bed. Charlie led her to her room, which had one of the comfiest-looking beds she'd ever seen…and she was literally just in Heaven. "Here you go.", said Charlie as she handed her some pajamas.

"Thanks. Is there a place I can clean up first?"

"Of course. Right down the hall."

Vaggie went into the bathroom and took a shower, which felt great after the day she'd had. However, while she was drying off, her curiosity got the better of her, and she looked at her back in the mirror. In the places that once held her wings now remained two hideous scars. She understood why Dazzle was unable to heal her right then and there; it was truly a fucked-up sight to behold. She wondered if they ever would heal. The sight of them triggered horrible memories, not only of losing them earlier that day, but of the terrible deeds she'd done when she had them. Deeds she could never undo. What would Charlie do if she found out? Could she even forgive herself? She screamed in horror as her heart started racing and she began to break down.

She heard a knock at the door, then Charlie's voice calling out, "Vaggie?! Are you okay in there?"

"DON'T COME IN!", she yelled back, wrapping herself in her towel.

"Don't worry, I won't.", Charlie replied. "But…after hearing you scream like that…I'm worried. I just wanna make sure everything's okay."

"It's fine, Charlie! I'm fine! Please go away now."

"Look…", she replied. "I'm not here to force you to talk about anything. Your privacy is important, so, I understand. But…I just want you to know I'm here for you. If you wanna talk about it…we can talk about it. If not…it's okay…I'm still here."

Upon hearing these words, Vaggie started to calm down, and pondered what to do. She wondered what Charlie would do if she told her the truth. She believed in redemption, so maybe she would accept her; on the other hand, she was an exorcist mere hours ago, so maybe she would toss her out on the street. She wouldn't even blame her if she did; maybe it's what she deserved. Either way…it was getting more and more difficult to keep things to herself, and it weighed on her. She decided that perhaps it would help if she opened up a little.

She sat with her back to the door and stated, "I think I wanna talk."

Charlie also sat down with her back to the other side of the door. "Alright. Go ahead. Whenever you're ready."

Vaggie closed her eye, took a deep breath and said, "So…during dinner…you sort of…asked about my life before…this?"

"Yeah."

She braced herself and said, "Well…before I…arrived here…I was…a soldier of sorts. One of the best in my unit, actually. I was highly decorated and got all the praise from my superiors."

"Did you…like it?"

"No…well…maybe in the moment…I dunno…look, it's complicated, okay?" Vaggie was silent a moment, then stated, "The truth is…I did a LOT of things I'm not proud of. We were responsible for THOUSANDS of deaths…most of them were civilians. The whole thing never really sat right with me, though. But…I dunno…I guess I was good at it…and it made me feel like I had a purpose. In the end, I just…told myself I was following orders, that's all it was…besides, there were…consequences if you disobeyed. Terrible consequences." She shuddered thinking about it. She then sighed, "Look…I never really WANTED any part of it, and I hated every second of it, but I was never really given much of a choice. But still…I don't know if I'm better for having a conscience…or worse for not listening to it. Not that it really matters, anyway. One day, the mission goes HORRIBLY wrong, and…here I am."

They were both silent for a moment, both thinking about what she'd said. Charlie stood up, faced the door and said, "Vaggie, I, uh…"

"I should go.", she decided. "Thanks for everything, truly. But…I don't deserve your kindness. I'm too fucked up for you to waste it on me. Maybe it would've been better if you'd never found…"

"No, Vaggie.", Charlie interrupted. "Please stay with me."

"I'm a monster, Charlie. The things I've done…they're unforgivable."

"No, they aren't!"

"How?!"

"Because there's no such thing!"

Vaggie was stunned to hear this. "…what?"

"Vaggie…I believe that nothing is beyond forgiveness. That's the whole point of forgiveness. If someone has true remorse for their actions and truly wants to be better…I believe they CAN be redeemed. And…based on what you've said, it sounds like you've got plenty of remorse. So…let me ask you this: do you want to be better?"

Vaggie had never considered this before. After a moment, she replied, "…yes."

"Then you are NOT unforgivable. So please…stay."

Vaggie stood up and thought about what she'd told her. Maybe her past didn't have to define her. She started crying, relieved at the thought. After adjusting her towel for stability, as well as to fully cover her scars, she asked, "…hey, Charlie?"

"Yes, Vaggie."

"…I think I need a hug…now."

Charlie came in, wearing some cute red pajamas, and the two embraced warmly for almost a minute. Whenever Vaggie was ready, Charlie let go and waited outside while she finished up and got dressed. She then led Vaggie back to the bedroom for the night.

Vaggie climbed under the covers and laid down. As she suspected, it was in fact one of the most comfortable beds she'd ever slept in. "Being Princess of Hell really DOES have its benefits", she thought to herself.

"You comfortable?", Charlie asked.

"Oh yeah."

"Okay. Good night, Vaggie."

"Good night, Charlie."

Charlie turned off the lights and turned to leave. Just before she left the room, Vaggie sat up and said, "Wait."

"Yes?"

"Could you stay here with me, actually?", Vaggie asked. "You can even join me if you want. I…don't want to be alone…right now."

Charlie blushed a little. She hadn't anticipated this, but she was happy to oblige. "Of course."

Charlie climbed under the covers and lay down next to her. They then turned to face each other.

"Thanks again for…everything, Charlie. Letting me crash here, dinner, letting me talk about…my past, letting me use your bed…staying here with me." Vaggie looked at her with sincerity. "It means a lot, and I want you to know I appreciate it."

Charlie smiled and said, "Of course, Vaggie. You've been through a lot. It's the least I can do."

"I know, but…no one has EVER treated me this kindly. I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"And you'll never have to."

Vaggie just smiled. Then, suddenly, without even thinking, she did something she'd been wanting to do for a while now, even though it truly wasn't her intention when she asked her to join her. She kissed her.

Charlie was…pleasantly surprised at this development. She blushed a little, then started kissing her. They then held each other and started making out. A few seconds later, though, Charlie pulled away.

Surprised, Vaggie asked, "Something wrong?"

Charlie sighed, and admitted, "This…isn't a good idea."

Vaggie simply said, "…oh."

Seeing the clear disappointment and embarrassment on her face, Charlie said, "Vaggie, it's not that I…look…this isn't your fault, but…you're clearly dealing with a lot of trauma right now. And…right now…this is probably not a good time. I don't think you're in a very good mindset, and…I don't think this is…super healthy for you right now."

Vaggie considered for a moment, then agreed. "…yeah…you're probably right. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it."

"If you wanna go now, I understand.", Vaggie sheepishly stated. "Or…y'know what, this is YOUR bed, I could go if you'd rather."

"No.", said Charlie in a gentle voice. "You need someone with you tonight. And…you asked me to stay with you. So…I'll stay here with you tonight."

"All night?"

"All night."

"Thanks."

And so, the two of them closed their eyes and went to sleep.