Coming Soon, to a Fan Fiction near you...

Meet the Waynes:

"We are a family like any other, we enjoy spending time together..."

"What's wrong with the gremlin?"

"Get off of me!"

"Damian! Stop biting Tim!"

"If I catch you touching my stuff one more time I will shoot you."

"...we have regular hobbies..."

"Dick you are a grown-ass man, stop flipping off of the banister."

"Quit giving the Riddler brain teasers. No, it is not helping him with his rehabilitation."

"What part of no guns on patrol do you not understand!?"

"Can bataragngs cut bone?"

"I don't know, but a sword can."

"Are fire extinguishers fireproof?"

"...and at the end of the day, we love each other no matter what."

"Father, now can we disown Drake?"

"Fight me!"

"I think you meant to say "bite me" Jay."

"Same thing."

"What do you mean Damian got thrown off of a roof!?"

"You are not worthy of being Batman."

"Child shut up."

"I'd shoot you if Bruce would let me."

Join the family for a wild ride of ups, downs, laughs, and tears as they navigate life in Gotham City as a normal, everyday family.

"What's wrong with Tim?"

"He spilled his coffee."

"Oh my god Tim, there are people that are dying."

"Damian, what did I tell you about sentencing your teachers to death?"

"I have realized that I am perfect and it is everyone else who has issues."

"No Damian!"

"Stephanie you have to think about what you're asking for because money doesn't grow on trees."

"Yes it does, it's paper."

"I'm gracing you with my presence Drake, be grateful."

"You're not special."

"Ladies and 'gents, we've got trouble, right here in River City!"

"Dick if you don't stop quoting musicals I will drop-kick you!"

Starring:

Bruce Wayne

Sighing, "What did you do now?"

Richard Greyson

"Remember to use your words, not your weapons."

Jason Todd

"BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKERS!"

Tim Drake

"How does one survive without coffee?"

Stephanie Brown

"Hold still, I wanna take a selfie."

Cassandra Cain

"Dancing keeps me entertained. Also, it scares villains."

Damian Wayne

"Silence peasant."

Duke Thomas

"Uh, is this thing lethal?"

Alfred Pennyworth

"Stay out of the pantry Master Jason, or there will be no cookies for you."

Also starring:

Barbra Gordon

"You break it, you buy it. Pay up."

And

Commissioner Gordon:

"Don't anger Robin. He bites."

Coming 2024

Rated T for language and violence