Febuwhump Day Ten: Killing in Self-Defense
Plot: Omega has been on missions before, but she's never hurt anyone. She has never killed anyone, until Bracca, when it was her brothers. It might not have been the ones who mattered most, but all the clones are still her brothers. Even the regs. Even the ones she shot.
Author's Note: Idk whyyyy we never got to see anything about this in canon, but whatever. xP
~ Amina Gila
"Are you okay?" Hunter asks, hovering nearby.
Omega nearly jumps at the sound of his voice. She didn't realize he was so close. She'd been too busy... brooding. Thinking.
So many things have happened over the past few days, starting with Wrecker's chip activating, and them nearly losing him, all the way through to being kidnapped, which is still something Omega doesn't want to think about.
She has no idea why her mind is choosing this to bother her the most right now.
"It's nothing," she assures, sliding a little down the wall and looking back at the datapad she's holding half-heartedly. She's not seeing anything on the screen, though – her mind is trapped a million lightyears away on Kamino.
Omega was Nala Se's lab assistant for years. She might not have helped put the inhibitor chips in the clones – that was something droids always did because of the intricacy of the process – but she did help make them. She knew about them. She helped monitor the growing cycles of all the clones before they were born.
She took care of them. They might not have been anything like the ones she raised, but they still... were. They were still people, even if they were so nasty to her and her brothers whenever she knew them.
She doesn't like them.
She really never has. They've never been nice to her. Don't seem nice, period, and she saw how they treated her brothers.
That – that doesn't mean she feels nothing at killing them.
"You sure?" he presses – Hunter is so good at reading people. He always knows whenever she's upset.
"I'm just thinking about Bracca," she confesses finally. She feels silly to tell him. She doesn't want Hunter to worry, to think maybe she can't do this, because she can. Her brothers are. She can, too. "I've never shot anyone before."
Do you think it killed them? She wants to ask. I know they were trying to hurt us. They were going to kill us because Crosshair told them to, but it wasn't his fault, either, was it? They couldn't help it any more than he could.
Hunter kneels next to her. Omega throws him a sneaking glance out of the corner of her eye and looks away again. She can't read his expression. She thinks he's worried.
"It wasn't their fault, either," Omega mutters, looking back at the datapad, her grip on it tightening.
"Does it ever bother you?" she can't help asking.
"We're soldiers," Hunter replies, "We're used to it."
Used to it? How could they just get used to that? The regs don't really get attached to each other the same way her brothers are, but... she still killed them.
It wasn't their fault.
She made sure they'd never have a chance to be free.
Omega had shot back at them because Hunter was, and she remembers how Wrecker threw someone out the window of the auxiliary deck into freefall. Height is Wrecker's worst fear, and he threw someone into that without a second thought.
Omega's never liked heights, and she's far less fond of them now than she used to be. Crosshair shot Tech into free-fall. She still remembers every moment of that vividly. She was watching, and she remembers the heart-stopping terror of it when she saw the smoke and light of the blaster shot, when she heard Tech's yelp and felt the vibration through the floor, when she saw him start falling. Hunter made it to catch him, and he so easily could've been a millisecond too late.
Tech could have died there. She's not entirely unaccustomed to death, but it was still so rare on Kamino. Some of the clones never made it to being fully formed, especially if they mutated and split. Nala Se had told her that's what makes twins, or something.
She was made to help people. That's what Nala Se always told her. She – she was supposed to bring life. Not... destroy it.
How could you get used to it? She wants to ask, but she's too afraid to.
She wants to be what her brothers are, no matter what that means or comes with.
She's not weak.
"It's... part of who we are," Hunter continues, and Omega tries to ignore how her gut is rolling. "We... have to kill in self-defense sometimes. It's not common, and we've hardly been in situations where we had to. We used to fight mostly droids, but now... things are changing."
And now, they have to fight people.
Omega never thought about what that could mean. She just thought fighting would be fun.
She just thought it would be... bad people they fight. Not the regs. It's not their fault the Kaminoans mind-controlled them from the time they were little.
They shouldn't have to die for it.
"It doesn't seem fair," she goes for instead because it isn't.
"It's not. Most things aren't."
She would kill for her brothers. She would do anything for them. That doesn't scare her. Omega doesn't know why it should. She just wants to stay with them, to be what they are, even if there's still some things that confuse her. That she struggles with.
She can do this, though. She – she has to.
"Does it ever bother you?" Omega inquires finally, tilting her head to look up at him searchingly.
"Yeah," Hunter admits, and from how he looks away again, she thinks he's uncomfortable by the question. "But we always knew it was something we might have to face, and I'd rather kill them than let any of you die. We didn't have much choice, kid."
Omega knows that. She understands that in theory, too. It's just... different to live with. It hurts. She didn't think it would. It'd been so simple at the time, and she was just following Hunter's lead, but now...
She thinks he's watching her in silence, and Omega is staring at the datapad again, but now, she's definitely not seeing anything on it.
Crosshair is out there, alone, and he no doubt has orders to do things far worse than what they did.
How must he feel for being sent after them? She doesn't want to think about how helplessly empty he must feel. She wants to get him back, but – Omega never thought he'd be not himself enough to try to kill them. He was going to incinerate them. To turn the engine on when they were still inside.
She doesn't want to think about how badly that would hurt. It sounds bad. She nearly fell into a fire once before, and that was terrifying.
What does he do for the Empire? Has he killed people? What will he be like even after they find him? Will he be the same?
"We left the Empire because of... what they wanted us to do," Hunter continues, and Omega looks up at him again.
"What did they want you to do?" she asks. She never knew what mission it was they were sent on, only that they came back for her, and were arrested for it.
"They sent us after a camp of civilians," Hunter tells her, "Some of them might've been fighters, but most of them weren't."
What is Crosshair doing now, without them? Do they have him hurt people? Has he killed people? Does he feel bad about it? That isn't something Omega wants to think about too deeply. Crosshair nearly killed them, and right now, there's really... nothing they can do for him.
"I – I know it takes a toll," Hunter says, "But we can try to avoid missions like that."
Doesn't mean it won't happen again, and Omega still remembers seeing them mid-falling. She hadn't taken the time to watch – she'd been too focused on surviving.
"It's okay," Omega tries reassuring. She's still worried about that happening again, but she'll – she'll be fine. She'd sacrifice anyone for her brothers, no matter what else the cost is.
And she doesn't need Hunter to worry. She's still perfectly capable of helping and handling danger. She's not – she'll be fine.
(No, she won't be, but at least she's home.)
Author's Note: I'd take this one-shot far more seriously if one of my favorite Bad Batch tributes didn't start with the scene this entire fanfic is about, accompanied by the world's craziest, most hyper music –
If you must know, the tribute is titled The Bad Batch - Reckless by A.J. on YT. :)
~Rivana Rita
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